After his supposed "death" in 1883, Karl Marx snuck to Eastern Europe, where he eventually met two revolutionaries named Vladimir Lenin and Joseph Stalin, where they, together, overthrew the Bourgeois Romanov Family of Tsarist Russia (which was weakened by a war-torn Europe), thus instigating the first Communist State. As a token of their gratitude, Lenin gifted Marx a gulag in the icy wastelands of the Arctic, at the North Pole. Marx, knowing his potential to undermine capitalism worldwide, decided to impersonate the patron saint of children, set up a massive spy ring on young children (backed by both the CIA and KGB of course), and had his prisoners, derogatorily called "elves" due to their stunted growth and mutilated ears, to mass produce pirated materials. The tree in each home, where these pirated goods are to be stashed (symbolic of environmentalism), which has a star adorned on the top (a symbol of communism). He then encourages children to worship him, instead of God, to instill atheism in future masses when he tricks them that he doesn't exist. Marx chose Christmas to do his bidding, as it would mean that he would make the masses "conveniently" forget about the birth of Christ, thus leading to secularization of society. All of those who are disobedient, are sent a lump of coal, as a reminder to where they would be sent if they are not good little Communists. There is a reason why "Santa" dresses in red, is led by a German reindeer with a red nose, and has indoctrinated children into being obedient to the State, in promise of free things. The Left wants to protect Santa Marx at all costs, which is why they are pushing for the abolition of fossil fuels, so that the North Pole Gulag would not sink beneath the frozen waters.Santa Marx must be eliminated. How do we destroy this Red Menace once and for all, and stop Santa Marx's indoctrination of children, and return Christmas to celebrating the birth of Christ?
>>524267732I knew it
>>524269488We all did. We need to find a way to stop him tonight, and put an end to his terror!
>>524267732>>524269574That's bullshit but I believe it
>>524270185Trust me. The whole world will finally believe in Santa after he is eliminated. And they would be horrified about who exactly it is.
>>524267732So, does /pol/ have any plans to stop the Patron Saint of Communism tonight, before he breaks and enters into people's homes and leaves suspicious packages?
>>524269488>>524270185THIS is who you looked up to when you were children. THIS is who your children will look up to.Let that sink in...
And reminder as to why Santa Marx gives children a lump of coal...
>>524267732Sounds like one of Alex Jone's conspiracy theories, so it should be proven right in 6-9 months.
>>524273348It is. Just understand what every single household (that is not Jewish or Islamic) will be subject to tnight...
>>524274173So, is anyone here able to figure out how to stop him tonight?
>>524275048Remember to be good proletariats for St. Marx, /pol/!
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