Santa Claus Arrested on Suspicion of Smuggling Goods>In a shocking development on Christmas Eve, Father Christmas, better known as Santa Claus, has been detained by the Metropolitan Police at a central London location amid allegations of smuggling undeclared goods into the UK.>Eyewitnesses report that the bearded figure in a red suit was intercepted shortly after his sleigh made an unscheduled landing on a rooftop near Parliament Square around 23:00 GMT. Officers from the Met's Border Security unit, acting on a tip-off from HM Revenue & Customs (HMRC), swooped in as Santa attempted to distribute packages believed to contain billions of toys and gifts without proper import declarations.>A Metropolitan Police spokesperson confirmed the arrest: "A male individual, identifying himself as S. Claus from the North Pole, was arrested on suspicion of evading customs duties and smuggling prohibited items. His vehicle – described as a reindeer-powered sleigh – has been impounded, and nine reindeer are being cared for by veterinary services.">Sources close to the investigation claim the sleigh's sack contained vast quantities of electronics, confectionery, and luxury items originating from overseas workshops, with an estimated value exceeding £10 billion. Questions have been raised about potential breaches of post-Brexit trade rules, including tariffs on non-EU goods and restrictions on certain materials used in toy manufacturing.>Santa's elves at the North Pole have issued a statement denying any wrongdoing, insisting that the deliveries are "magical gifts exempt from earthly regulations" and operate under an ancient international treaty dating back to the era of Saint Nicholas.>The Met Police have stated that Santa is being held at a secure facility and will appear before magistrates tomorrow. In the meantime, officials are urgently consulting with the Home Office on whether global Christmas deliveries can proceed.
>>524286911Can they finally cap Santa Marx? Here is everything you need to know about himAfter his supposed "death" in 1883, Karl Marx snuck to Eastern Europe, where he eventually met two revolutionaries named Vladimir Lenin and Joseph Stalin, where they, together, overthrew the Bourgeois Romanov Family of Tsarist Russia (which was weakened by a war-torn Europe), thus instigating the first Communist State. As a token of their gratitude, Lenin gifted Marx a gulag in the icy wastelands of the Arctic, at the North Pole. Marx, knowing his potential to undermine capitalism worldwide, decided to impersonate the patron saint of children, set up a massive spy ring on young children (backed by both the CIA and KGB of course), and had his prisoners, derogatorily called "elves" due to their stunted growth and mutilated ears, to mass produce pirated materials. The tree in each home, where these pirated goods are to be stashed (symbolic of environmentalism), which has a star adorned on the top (a symbol of communism). He then encourages children to worship him, instead of God, to instill atheism in future masses when he tricks them that he doesn't exist. Marx chose Christmas to do his bidding, as it would mean that he would make the masses "conveniently" forget about the birth of Christ, thus leading to secularization of society. All of those who are disobedient, are sent a lump of coal, as a reminder to where they would be sent if they are not good little Communists. There is a reason why "Santa" dresses in red, is led by a German reindeer with a red nose, and has indoctrinated children into being obedient to the State, in promise of free things. The Left wants to protect Santa Marx at all costs, which is why they are pushing for the abolition of fossil fuels, so that the North Pole Gulag would not sink beneath the frozen waters.
IT’S HO-HO-HOVER
>>524286911You stupid, you can't arrest Santa, he has the strength of Goku or Vegeta!
>>524288570cope
>>524286911XD
>>524286911>Santa was caught by ICE
>>524286911Someone attempted to stop a polar jew from breaking into children’s rooms in the middle of the night? This won’t end well
