Blessed are the pussy chasers, for their reward is 5 years in the cell with Sven.
>>526451074Oh come on, Ivan...let the man go
Pathetic simp.
>>526451074How old is the "girl from Kazan"?
>>526451074Would've been cheaper and faster to fly there
>>526451074he spent a lot of energy being stupid.>I can just sail my boat into russia. No one will care.
>>526451320MORE IMPORTANTLY, did sh have............KAZAN MILKERS
FreeDUMB
>>526451074That "girl" from Kazan was probably a fat Indian dude.
>>526451074>doing all that for some chick who could’ve been catfishing youThis is hopefully fake
>>526451074There has never, and will never, exist a woman that would be worth all that nonsense.
>>526451074do we have any more russian warlords to trade for this fella? or do we only trade when it's some retarded ape hooper?
>>526451194Read this in his voice.They did him dirty.
does that mean he somehow got past customs inspection, without having a visa, in Portugal, Spain, Italy, Greece, and Turkey? why is Russia the only country that subjected him to any scrutiny?
>>526451562IT'S REALhttps://www.foxnews.com/world/us-veteran-gets-5-years-russian-prison-authorities-reportedly-force-him-dock-firearmhttps://www.themoscowtimes.com/2026/01/19/sochi-court-jails-american-who-brought-rifle-into-russia-on-his-yacht-a91716>In September 2024, the U.S. Coast Guard East issued a missing person alert for a man identified as Charles Zimmerman, 57, who departed on a sailing trip from Fort Macon, North Carolina, to New Zealand.kek, boomer on a literal hail mary
>>526451074>seeks pussy>gets bussi'd
>>526451577A tranny. It was a black tranny basketball player
>>526451074one time i drove about 2 hours in the middle of the night to get some pussy. she was so fat, she wouldn't even turn the lights in her apartment on because she was embarrassed i'd be grossed out by her. we sat on opposite ends of her bed watching jackass and cky dvds while i nervously chainsmoked a bunch of cigarettes, then just kind of stood up and left, drove home as the sun was coming up, listened to the local classic rock morning show, got lost, stopped at a mcdonalds, then finally got home and beat off.
>>526451831Loser
>>52645178557 years old and doing this shit?
>>526451893fuck you dude
>>526451462It's a port on the wide-open ocean. Why should a respectable white man, who presents himself to local customs and owns a yacht, need a visa to stop over and at least resupply? If they don't want visitors they should just build a massive wall closing off their port from the outside world or just refuse entry.
>>526451762Others saw a white American and assumed it was a harmless tourist, I don't get why an American would want to go to Russia.
>>526451831Lol good story, we've all been there.
>>526451074>Needing a gun to cross the Atlantic/Mediterranean?
All the cute asian girls in Russia are already on onlyfans and baiting for simps online. It was a nice niche at one point.
>>526451831Should've tamed the ham beast.
I should sail to russia.
>we don't want foreigners in our country>that's why we're kidnapping them in sentencing them to five years in our country Wtf?
>>526451831I'm gonna level with you bro.You shoulda fucked the hambeast.Or at least made her suck you off.
>>526451831Wish i had some mcdonalds right now FUCK
>>526451074just imagine the damage that one CIA agent could do with a boat and a rifle
>>526451074>and didn't realize it was illegal to bring into RussiaIs dis nigga serious?
>>526451762no one inspected anything and YOU don't need VISA to travel to EU, no one would have inspected him in russia either had he done it a couple of years ago. He only got in trouble for having a gun, which he did not disclose to custom for some reason and you can't pretend its just american arrogance / ignorance, you guys disclose you have guns on you to cops all the time to avoid getting merced
>>526451830seems on brand for us.
>>526451831You know what?I've done it a few times too bro. We're all plapjack.
>>526451831had mcdonalds for the first time in months the other day.fuckin sucked
>>526451074There is no way someone who could afford his own yacht, with enough skill to literally circumnavigate the world could be THIS ignorant of international law and the global geopolitical situation as a whole. He could have flown her to any 3rd party country and done his gay little mermaid cruise there.Look at it through that lens if you are a judge trying to gauge his true intentions.
>>526451074Bro... what the fuck, whores are so plentiful if you know where to look, did your father not teach you this shit?
>>526451762>Why is the country currently at War scrutinizing foreign American potentional glowniggers I dunno retard. Put 2 and 2 together
>>526451762Found the bum who never left the US.
>>526452561Yeah... the knee highs got me
>>526451785>September 2024Kek, all this thread for a 2024 event?
>>526452509>true intentions.this, i bet he wouldnt even get in that much trouble if he disclosed he had a gun, something he didn't do for some mysterious reason.>>526452318a lot actually, one can merc quite a lot of people who are just living their own life, important people as well. >>526452615He'd still have to go through customs at least once and if you tell me EU doesnt care about undisclosed guns you are lying. This story is not as simple as it sounds.
>>526451922men will do anything for young puss
>>526451831I have had those horror stories with women so horrific I was glad to get home and take a shower even if we didn't fuck. The type of bitches that make me reinstate my RuneScape membership.
>>526452764There way better options and avenues though to get young pussy, most of eastern europe is a brothel.
>>526452561there should be an incel guide for finding whores. like a street lesson, here look, 6th street, MLK blvd, 8th street, Figueroa etc. whereever you go in the US, you're surrounded by available sex workers begging to fuck you for money. It is a disgrace, but it's better than inceldom.
>>526452561wtf these trashcan whores look like they smell like fresh pizza buns mmmm god bless asians
>>526451785>57 year oldIt's always boomers/geriatrics with disposable income. God I hope I never become this cringe.
>>526451462to be fair, there's precedent
>>526452872Cali fuck
>>526452747>This story is not as simple as it sounds.Yes, I don't own a yacht and im aware that you aren't allowed to dock in most countries with firearms. Its common knowledge you cant even do it in the bahamas.
>>526451074>I'm coming to meet you kochannie! I'll just be 1 year>not dumping the rifle when landing in RussiaI don't think he's too bright.
>>526452213>>526452304the situation was pretty grim. i'm a reasonably in shape guy, she was orders of magnitude larger than the one picture she sent lead me to believe.i've done my fair share of hoggin' otherwise, but that one was above my weight class
>>526451960Yeah, you’re stupid. Every fucking port has harbor police.
>>526452872Street walkers are bottom of the barrel. Website escorts are probably the cleanest, though you may need an invite to certain sites. Strippers are the go to if you don't like online shopping, a lot of times you can get a handful of ass and be good for the day and go about your business.
>>526452747>He'd still have to go through customs at least onceYeah, only once, with a boat. He just hid his gun, knew very well it's forbidden to carry it wherever in Europe, and the boat wasn't searched thoroughly unlike in Russia.
>>526452872or you could just not be a fuckjng loser and get a girlfriendwho pays for sex?the fuck is wrong with all of you?
>>526452561What the fuck do women look at on their phone all day? I literally just browse /pol/ and then play a gacha and then have no desire to look at anything else on my phone
>>526451785>>526452936hang all boomers, they're the ones who spend literally thousands of dollars on onlyfans whores and random third worlder trophy wives and catfishers
>>526453253>What the fuck do women look at on their phone all day?Short form social media like TikTok and Instagram
>>526453211I don't want a gf. I had a family before I don't want another one.Maybe you were blessed with a strong social circle or 11/10 genetics good on you dude. Other dudes still want sex and the women want money so should I invest weeks of my time listening to gay stories about work feuds for weeks, or should I take a day's worth of wages and get it out of my system for a couple of weeks so I can focus on other things?
>>526453211and having to spend time with a stupid woman, listen to her 'feelings', spend on dinners, be there when she's bleeding or in a mood, care at all what she thinks?? that's gay. why would any man want to be with a woman long term is beyond me. there are public libraries and books written to dazzle the mind, women don't. just don't
>>526453253The Chinese are like that. It's a racial or cultural thing. If you ever go to China, you'll understand.
>>526451831You gave me a good chuckle. Have some peak Norwegian CGI comedy in returnhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01TAIJFA-Ww
>>526451785>>526452936he's gen x you retard
>>526451831Heh classic
>>526452832pretty sure our boomer here knew thatmaybe he wanted to wife her up and pregnant her
>>526451320She is a projection of something eternal to the man. If you see the camgirl some simp killed his family over, she was just a plain person without much to offer other that that projection feeding thing that captured the simp. A boat trip and gun is halfway a kidnapping plot so 10 years is probably a better solution.
>>526453927Doesn't matter, faggot's old and geriatric
>>526451074>>526451762He's a glownigger stupid.
>>526451074>what russian pussy does to a mferpoor feller. he was probably getting catfished anyways
>>526452397>you guys disclose you have guns on youpeople forget
>>526454194this, same as tucker
>>52645132047 and her name is ranjesh
>>526452872I learned by try and error. used drugs, got robbed by a nigger, fucked a preggo mudshark, joined some orgy, cucked a nigger with his wife, fucked a troon by the pier. It is crazy what you can achieve when you set your mind to it.
>>526451074imprisonment is a waste of resources, he should of just been deported back to the 3rd world shithole he came from.
>>526451831i somehow know this feel. i'm uncomfortable trying to remember more so will go beat my meat and pass out. l8rsk8r
>SochiWait...he took a 30-50foot sailnoat through the Dardanelles and across the Black Sea?Im kind of shocked he wasnt boarded long before getting close to Russia.....
>>526451831I know a fat dude who drove from South Carolina to Washington state for some pussy, I shit you not. He ended up staying but that wasn't the plan in the first place.
I can't suspend belief to think that he actually just forgot to disclose he had a rifle on board.
>>526451074A face that sailed a single ship
>>526451194based Early Cuyler poster
Why bother with women when you can jack off and move on with your life?
>>526452561Damn maybe we all should take a trip to China.
>>526452615why the fuck i need a visa for antarctica
>going to meet some girl>takes a year to do it
>>526452679KekNihaos get me, too.
>>526452679same
>>526451074>meet a girl online>see you but not for a year because I'm deep and call my own tune>arrested, five years in jail>actually lucky because "girl from Kazan" was actually 4 or 5 gopniks who would have taken all his shit and killed him
Just sounds like a great adventure to me. Why’d they have to be so harsh?
>>526452561Wtf? Are all these whores? Thought china had a no no laws to porn and prostitution.
>>526451831Thanks for being the inspiration for one of the more amusing memes out there.
>>526451074>the trip took almost a yearIs he retarded? Does he not know we have airplanes now? He could've gotten there way faster riding an airplane.What a stupid clown
>>526451074There is no fucking way that dude wasn't a fed.
>>526451074wtf is a Kazan
>>526459973holy fuckin kino
>>526451831lol I finally gave in and lost my virginity to a super fat chick I met on a message board and chatted with on AIM. I'm 6'2" and she was like 5'4" but fat enough that she was taller than me when we sat on the couch. I sealed the deal though and came in her several times with no protection. I even went back and once my shitty car got stuck on ice in her driveway and her stepdad had to help me out. These were dark times. Looking back on the chicks I could have fucked in school but passed on for the dumbest superficial reasons makes me want to eat a bullet
>>526456935It's weird how people can do shit like that so impulsively. Like that's not a nothing thing, right?
>>526459973hahahaha
>>526451074Simp got EXACTLY what he deserved.Now his girl is fucking a chink.
>>526451194What was his crime? Enjoying a pussy? A succulent Russian pussy?
>>526451074At leat he will be visiting magnificent ruins of Pokrovsk very soon. I hope online gf worth it.
>>526451074That's dumb as fuck. You can't just sail into a port without permission and bring weapons along. This is like that negress who brought drugs into Russia. 5 years in a penal colony is light. They could have killed him.
>>526451576Just one. Renita. ...but I lost her due to my own self loathing. I feared being happy. She was better than any man deserves.
>>526454041I mean it just doesn't sound real.
>>526451074Spoiler:It was a pajeet.
>>526451831lol, this can't be a thing.please, no
>>526451831This story is real, I can tell it actually happened.
>>526451074On one hand... he is an idiot who will suffer at the hands of Ivan faggovitchOn the other hand, he is a pussy beggar retard and it is kinda funny.
>>526460162Yeah but if you knew this guy it wouldn't surprise you. He's about 350 pounds and he sounds like mickey mouse.
>>526451074>>526451194Why would he cuck so much for a broke bitch?
>>526460301Pretty odd place for a pajeet to meet someone. It's like boonies in an Asiatic region
>>526451762It’s insanely easy to exit and enter most countries by boat, especially if you arrive away from heavily trafficked areas. This is a cheatcode most normies are too stupid to fathom. My uncle does this sailing, you just go in and go out at whim, and as long as you dont arouse hostility from the locals you’re fine.
>>526460301Most likely yes. Google CEO saar
>>526451074>this faggot didnt sink any migrant boats coming from Africa in his waySelfish piece of shit, she is NEVER gonna love you faggot.
>>526451074Absolute comedygold
>>526452679Yes
>>526453253>>526453757I lived in china for a few years. I remember going to this really good Japanese restaurant, it was a chain, I fucking loved that place. Anyway one time I saw this family in there, mother, father, child in a booster chair. They were all looking at their own phones and doomscrolling with blank looks on their faces the entire time. I don't know if they conversed outside of ordering their food.It was so bizarre to me it's one of the few things I still remember.
>>526460421Kazan waterways do link to the ocean but it is an insanely long and ridiculous path of rivers to get there by boat. You'd be basically travelling through two countries by river. Someone would notice.
>>526451831One time I was really horny and took a chance on an unreviewed hooker. Half her body was burned in a fire. She gave me a blow job and we watched some woke nigger film.
>>526451831We have all had this exact same story happen. This is the true way that you know if someone is a real Anon. This one >>526451893 for example is a roastie
>>526452723It took him a year to get there.
>>526452397Sometimes Americans forget guns in places. In the USA a gun is not a big deal, so we think of it like it is not a big deal. Seems like everywhere else in the world freaks out about guns.
>>526451831>>526460101Literal, actual sub-humansYou are the reason the modern white race 100% deserves its genocideYou are genetic trash and your entire bloodlines should be obliterated from reality and the cosmosI have more respect, a thousand fold, for a naked nigger in the African jungle than youAnd you know I'm right because you dont even respect yourselfNow tell me you wore the COVID mask and got vaxed too you fucking subhuman garbage
>>526451074Nmp. Know how to navigate a sailboat across oceans, communicate online but fails to read about dos & Don'ts of entering Russia. NMP
>smuggling guns and ammo all over the entire planet>getting detained and imprisoned>suprisedpikachuface.jpgwe dont do that in Deutschland!herbal tea 1 id twotterthread
>>526451785>Charles ZimmermanOy vey
>>526451074Someone about this story feels fake and gay. On top of the fact it's in the ukranian water region during a war I just don't believe it. He'd have to get through the turkey port region. That distance is still stupidly far. He didn't have shit on him from the story. So is he hitchhiking?
>>526451762Many countries have visa free travel with the USA. Americans can go to those countries for 60 or 90 days with just a passport, but cannot work in those countries. Russia is not one of those countries. Russia requires Americans to go through a lot of shit to get a visa.
Yeah but he got a free 5 year visa, food and accomodation
>>526451074Kazan is the capital of churka/muslim region in Russia. Why the heck was he chasing a mutt? Is it not enough shitskins/muslims in the US?
>>52646065225 year old incel options are limited bro. Every chick here is fat anyway it's just a matter of how fat are you willing to go. In my case it was very very fat
>>526452615Be nice to Anon. You have no idea how hard it is to be an American.If we go to another country, then some of the retarded locals will think we are CIA. Other retarded locals will want to abduct us for ransom, because retard think all Americans are rich.Of course, all of the other countries, like your, will just hate us for being Americans.
>>526451194Don'tTouchTheTRIM
>>526460911It's 50/50 Muslim or ultra Orthodox Christian. Apparently has a massive disparity between male and female populations.
>>526460984do you ever stop to think you might be hated for a reason or are you always the victim in every situation
>>526451074>5 years in the cell with Sven.There is no Svens here. It's Sergey or Semen.
>>526461008No, it is not, Slavic people are minorities there and churches got demolished and new mosque built I am Russian and I lived close to the that region
>>526461128Ahh yes you know better from the snow nigger territory of Canada. Im sure you know top of the line Intel that Google or census bureau isn't aware of.
>>526460652You havin' a bad day? Wanna talk about it bud?
>>526451074Bout time a simp legal faced consequences for simping.
>>526461201Census bureau has classified that information long time ago. You can’t get any official census now. The last stats you can get is before the war and the mass shitskins immigration and every one knows why
>>526459973we need this movie!!!
>>526451462Probably one of those sovereign citizen type.
>>526451785He’s a kike - my sides!
>>526451074Seems like an exahusting effort for pussy.
>>526451074>SvenThat's not how you spell Ivan and Igor.
>>526451074>the guy who actually found the mongolian milkers girl. Based.
>>526452561>no thot patrolCome on how hard is it to drive a tanker past and drench them in water?
>>526451831Please, anon, I can only get so erect.
>>526453211>who pays for sex?you do, to your girlfriend that has also fucked niggers.
>>526452957At some point there was just a room of people pissing themselves in laughter until the political officer shoved a broom handles up their asses.
any American who goes to Russia is a god damned moron
>Sochi (where Putin has his summer palace)>carries an undeclared rifle and ammo>gets caught and sent to gulagwhere's the news?
>>526460652lol seething
>>526453211Where do you think you are?
>>526451074>Dumb enough to fall for Russian cat fish>Dumb enough to think think it's ok to bring a fucking rifle to another countryChecks out
>>526451074i bet that year long trip was the time of his life, hope he gets his princess in the end
>>526460101Could be a lot worse. At least you didn't lose your virginity to a slut in a bathroom during a party. Also its good to have standards. Far fewer regrets that way. It took me WAY too fucking long to realize the importance of standards for sex are.
>>526452561Dont they have benches in china?
>>526451074That's some piss poor planning. Smart enough to boat and navigate but spaghettis everything else, blindly going into a place not knowing any of the rules, not know how who he's dealing with will react.
>>526460924Take advantage of how perverted women are to get laid and see how long you can keep it up. Afterwards you will have enough experience to not have to resort to such methods.
>>526460497That is just sad.https://people.com/dad-dies-trying-meet-woman-from-social-media-turned-out-to-be-meta-ai-chatbot-11793225
