I think I spent too much time being depressed and being angry at the worldvand not enough time actually be in it. I look back at my 20s and all I see is a blue light glow and a lot of wasted energy on things that didn't matter. It feels like i've finally woken up, but the party's already winding down. Just trying to figure out how to forgive myself for the lost time, the hope for a full, natural life just isn't there