Get the fuck in here. Why are you unable to be drafted, and will stay comfy instead? I'll start:>Severe alcoholic, over 30 years old.
>>531415019I can't go an hour without cooming.
>>531415019I'll do my best if I get drafted, but I'm probably undraftable.
By not being a burger
honestly I am pretty draftable, but I will 100% use this as an excuse to finally kill myself
Just smoke weed niggers
>>531415019There wont be a draft.Stop this gay shit.
>>531415019>Severe alcoholic, over 30 years old.Same as your secretary of ebin war.
>>531415019Aside from my country not having a draft I work in critical infrastructure.
>>531415019I am very fucking antisemitic
>>531415019why do you fucking faggots think there is going to be a draft. you sound like liberals during gwot, they all thought they were going to live vietnam like their heroes. twenty years and no draft. you guys are fucking retarded faggots.
>>531415019>over 30 years old.perfect age for draft>>Severe alcoholic,army will cure it because you drink during war time in the army the punishment is death.
>>531415099bullshit. You have to be 14 yo for this.
>>531415019Aloha,38yo and been on methadone for 13 years.own a small software corp and drink heavily on weekends. Am drunk. floods were rough. looking forward to next /LPBG/ Aloha
>>531415237Yeah but Pete Hagseth is rich. The rich do not go to war.they only send the poor in it.
I was gonna apply to the ADF as a last resort but they standards are retardedly high. Im waayy too mentally ill.How desperate do they have to get before they start handing guns to people who will likely turn them on themselves immediately?
Why don't Amerikantsky and allies simply refuse conscription, take mandatory prison sentence 2-3 years, smoke K2, learn ebonics, 1000 pushups, read books, make prison cake?
>>531415019Double undraftable. 38 yo. Got drafted to military service back when we still had a general draft. Went the "please send me to the army shrink, I hate authority figures; if I have a rifle and some 18 yo ensign raises his voice at me, I cannot guarantee his safety" route. Nobody involved in the decision process wanted to take personal responsibility for that sort of risk. They had been warned after all, it's all in the file. Unfit for service, dismissed without further questions. Easy peasy.
>>531415019I'm trans. Sorry.
>>531415019>can't pull a trigger, 35Never would have thought having shit hands would be an advantage.Have fun dying for Israel, hamburgers.
>>531415237I don't believe it, he might be a binge drinker but not a constant drunk. Look at the shirtless pics, he's very fit.>>531415265I'm unironically Jewish kek but that's a good way to get out of it, I don't think they'd take me if I just said NIGGER constantly. They're not allowed to hit you starve you etc anymore.>>531415362Based and comfypilled drunk fren
>>531415585>You cannot draft me. I've put a dress on.That doesn't work anymore.
>>531415019I'm antisemanitc. Does that mean I can't be trusted to serve? Actually... Even better I'm just loyal to my own people. You know, White people. That makes me the greatest threat to the country right?
>>531415019i'd just scream nigger the whole time kekaroo
>>531415019I'm 40. I got cold approached by a draft officer months back while I was having a smoke outside the pharmacy. He was trying to do small-talk and recruit me but I told him my age and his demeanor changed completely, he just started talking to me like an equal instead of a recruit.
>>531415616Damn I've had that happen too, depends on the gun though. Never been unable to ultimately pull it but some are so heavy that it's not feasible to do so in combat, like it takes 2 seconds of effort. I don't know how many pounds of force it takes for military weapons though, I've only fired handguns before. And there supposedly are handguns with a very light trigger pull
>>531415019>Shits pantsYour move, officer
Congenital heart defect gang, where are you? I was born with a defective mitral valve myself.
>>531415019>>Severe alcoholic, over 30 years old.perfect for meatgrinder and trap searchingyou're gonna have to kill some jews if you want to avoid itonly people they are afraid of to draft are people who might fight backanyone else is perfect for meatgrinderin ukrainian russian war its common to send cripples and literall mental retards to attack enemy positions or sit in trenchesyour alcoholism is common for over half of them and 30 is peak of man's physical strenght hate to destroy your hopes
>>531415019I am a US National, but a Non-resident Alien of Washington D.C. living without a Social Security Number on all government forms.The draft does not apply to me just like, Taxes, and Gun Laws.
>>531415585Through early morning fog I seeVisions of the things to beThe pains that are withheld for meI realize and I can see
>>531415019i am a military reject already. i have poor health
>>531415762>I got cold approached by a draft officer months backThats called a recruiter. A draft is when you are forced into service by the state.
POO AND PEENO SERVICE FOR ME
>>531416112its argueableand you are not in a good position to argue now are you
>>531415019You sound perfect for a draft honestly.
>>531415019Im here to stop being fanum taxed by simps, not to fight for simps.
>>531415019I'd just end up in a workshop anyway, I'm too valuable as a fabricator.Also I take drugs. Especially when I might get drafted.
>>531419031straight to the meat grinder for you weldbro, same with your brother; niggerbro
>>531415616Rheumatoid arthritis fren?
>>531415019I already do important work for the beast
>>531415019>Severe alcoholic, over 30 years old.anon, this is modern war. We have the technology. You don't need to be fit. You'll be doing your part just by being present on the front line so hopefully an FPV drone hits you instead of a more valuable person or piece of equipment.
>>531415019Honestly if you're American just troon out or something. They've already made it pretty clear that they don't want you and it's not like any of you niggas are gonna be getting laid before, during or after the war.
>>531415343I'm 33 and I jack off 6-10 times a day, sometimes upwards of 20 on my days off.I swear to god this is true, I've been liek this ever since my dick could get hard.
>>531415343But he is
>>531419548So you jerk it at work? And basically just goon non stop whenever you get the chance?
>>531415019>Founding generation beat the British, all volunteers, >13th, "nor involuntary servitude">Establishment Clause, only redoubled with officials BLOOD LIBELING (you) as an 'anti-Neopalestinian'Technically, everyone is that isn't a moral and physical coward. It's not like you have two world wars and every one since for reference. Big swinging dick Uncle Sam NEEDS meat on the ground? With nukes and tesla tech Vrilkraft? Not buying it.
>>531419685Not at work no.Wake up - masterbate - go to work - come home - masterbate - masterbate again - make dinner - eat - masterbate - masterbate again - go to bed - masterbate - wake up at 4am - masterbate - go back to sleep - wake up ->
>>531415019>my country isn't fighting a kike war>would certainly kill everyone who tries to draft me or die tryingI am not dying for old people' ambitions while they sit in their offices and have their family dodge drafts, I'd rather kill them all.
>>531419930Not sure if that's a curse or a blessing to be honest
>>531419279Nah, weird athletic injury.Fucked up my index and middle fingers on both hands.
i shit my pants every time i think about boobs and i think about boobs a lot
>>531415019I hate kikes so I won't die for them, simple as.
Sorry officer I cant, I have antisemitism.
>>531415183Frag your officers first tho
>32, virgin, never had a girlfriend>avoidant personality disorder>get panic and fear when joining random lobbies with people I don't know>get panic seeing people outside when I need to get the trash can or mail>recently went in a random lobby, just joining took 2 minutes of pep talking myself>lasted in the lobby around a minute before alt-f4ing from anxiety overload (prob because it was helldivers 2 max difficulty and the pressure to perform was above my level)>will try again at lower difficultygo ahead and laugh at me, idc, I got over my anxiety about posting here and reading responses to my posts back in 2009
>>531415019I'm Haredi Jewish and religion forbids me be in military.
>>531420195
>>531415019i moved out of the country
>>531415019I'm just not gonna go is all
>>531419178fugg
>>531420069that sucks, hope you get them rehabbed, just lie and say they're still fucked if anyone asks
>>531420349damn man how the hell can't someone like you get a gf
>>531420872you mean why haven't I killed myself yetit's a mystery
>>531420349You should probably start drinking. Idk if it'll help but you might wake up with your dick in something.
>>531420349have you tried fixing it by tripping on shrooms?
>>531420981because you're too anxious to do so?There's a book called The Ultramind Solution that will probably cure you btw, if you want cured
>Severe alcoholic, over 30 years oldHi Styx
>>531415019Cause Spain’s not gonna draft
>>531415631>not dying for israelbased jewbro
>>531415019Around 60 years old...half blind...I need least rocket launcher to do any damage....even then probably shooting own guys.
>>531415019Narcolepsy
Draft is just a redressing of the telemarketed pandemic gayop. Three demographics prop up globohomo's pyramid scheme:>retards who opt in to maintain some form of convenience for themselves or their families, but really just induldge latent suicidal ideation, ignoring the risk of getting maimed or killed and becoming a liability>terminally domesticated, competitively obedient niggercattle who live in globohomo's fake, gay and retarded cinematographic universe and gladly die for [current thing], parasocial validatoon and instant gratification>turbofaggot-hyperniggercattle who forges certificates and flash them, inadvertently gaslighting each other and thirdparties into submission, insteas of standing their ground and saying No
>>531415019>DraftedThey're throwing nukes at each other and you think we're getting drafted.
>>531415019Over 40AsthmaColitisCan't eat vast majority of foodBlind without glassesRacist as fuckBTW there will be no draft so these threads are pointless.
>>531421641FPV drone war
>>531421481oh look the fake breakroom fed appearshow quaint
>>531421738>fake breakroomNot fake>fedNope. Enjoy your treason charge and time in the void. Order up for 72.
>>531419930Those are rookie numbers.
Diagnosed schizoid. Asthmatic. Flat feet
>>531415183Go out with a bang anon
>>531421843>I did it! I used my catch phrase!Glowniggers need to update the "how do you do, fellow kids" script with writing above the level of 80s era Saturday morning cartoons. This shit is pathetic and disingenuous.
>>531421947>flat feetYou gonna be marine.
>>531421843>larping faggot noises
i got a schizophrenia diagnosis from a fat lazy 26 year old state worker pSyCh MaJor who interviewed me hungover as fuck in jail after getting kidnapped and shot at and walking through the desert for eight hoursi was pissed at the time because im not schizo i was just freaked the fuck out, and the psychiatrist told me i could come back and get it removed, but now its looking like blessing in disguise
>>531422072theres alot youre leaving out in that story anon
>>531422014>>531422063SUFFAH BISH
>>531421641american nooks don't work. there will be boots on ground, there will be dead yankees.
>>531422213I keep seeing videos of the missiles and saw a video, something like, "surviving a nuke if you're outside the blast." I know it's just algorithm bait, regardless, I am, honest to god, scared right now, broski.It was nice shitposting with you all.
>>531422188>checked' and heil'dyoure still not breakroom
>>531422072Please give long version of story bro
>>531415019Retired. Toot old. Nust stay home & play COD all night instead.
my arm still looks like this
>>531422541I am the sole owner, lead performer, and head writer of the Breakroom character.
>>531422159>working on solar array, invited to drink at dude's place near the worksite>he's a gulf war vet and kinda wiggy but alright guy, one of our senior electricians >someone busts out some powder, im good, vet and three other guys head inside to do blow>i'm outside with two other guys, talking about heading home soon, its like 9pm>coke crew comes back, shit gets weird real quick>vet starts freaking out about someone trying to rape his eight year old daughter>right i'm outta here, dip off the porch as he starts swinging >truck wont fucking start>other guys split while i'm stuck between trying to get my truck started now, or just laying low in hopes he fucks off inside thinking i left with someone else>naturally as a paranoid vet would he grabs his gun and comes out to investigate the last truck parked outside>i'm frozen, i have a pistol but am still reeling, do i shoot this guy, can i shoot this guy, knowing i'm gonna have to shoot to kill him because he's armed and fucking raging, and i dont want to kill him>hes on me like a spider monkey, beats the fuck out of me, fucking handcuffs me and throws me into his truck>drives me way out into the sage somewhere, kicks me around in the dust calling me a rapist and by some other name i never heard, keep telling him who i am and he keeps telling me not to dirty his friend's (my) name, his friend (me) is a good guy and not a rapist>fucking hell i just want this to end>uncuffs me, pops a couple rounds into the dirt and tells me start running>dont need to tell me twice>empties the mag into the dark behind me>fall down into an arroyo and chill there til his headlights are gone>use the mountains to find my way back to the highway and catch a ride into town around 11:30 the next morning talked to them all later, shit was a-PVP or some chinese powder. vet dude apologized over and over but i steer clear of his ass now
>>531423407You're some Frankenstein monster freak, dude
>>531415508>Bob Marley in the background
>>531415019I will never fight or die for a satanic cause or die trying to kill anyone or try to kill anyone, ever.
>>531425701Any person*. I will gladly kill demons in spiritual war while astral projecting for God.
Remember to have your kids beat up the children of recruitment officers, and everyone on a military base is fair game.
>32>diagnosed autist>alcoholic>racistI'm undraftable lol
>>53141501944m am being used as a stud horse by a zoomer female friend group. Somebody has to do it (zoomer males wont)
>>531415019i have type 1 diabetesiam totally fucked if WW3 starts
I hate my country and I will shoot comrades, politicians and journalists if given the chance. I will also rape if I ever find myself in a position where I can rape a woman and I will kill minorities wherever I see them and I can get away with.If it ever goes bad for our side I will immediately desert or surrender. If I get caught doing any of the warcrimes I will get a cozy cell anyway and since we do not believe in punitive punishments Germany will have to rehabilitate me. Meaning I will just chill out on the taxpayers money for a few years. Beats hanging around some dirty trenches.
>>531415019obesediabeticwork in war industry
>>531425999kys
I am trans, please send more zog bots to die for Israel so I can troon out more at home
