Young anons, you better be carefully thinking about your future and what you will do to earn a living because AI is ravaging all of the most important and highly skilled white collar jobs. Even scrum masters, a position that paid very well due to the demanding/rigorous nature of the job are finding themselves disproportionately laid off. It’s coming for every job and every sector.
>>532360782>Scrum masterGlorified calendar jockies whose role has been made irrelevant by a lobotomized AIFuck em
>>532360782its over zoomers
scrum master is literally a job created to have more women in tech, it doesn't DO anything.
>>532360782>Scrum Masterthe definition of bullshit job
>>532360782The Army is always hiring, zoomers. :)
>>532360782>scrum master>email merchant>highly skilled
>>532360782Bump and agree
>>532360892>used by every fortune 100>trashWat?
Isn't scrum for jeets?
>>532360892i dont understand what this means. its literally a get-paid-to-do-nothing job
>>532360782The fuck is a scrum master?
>>532361033Janitors are used by every Fortune 500Company
>>532360782>meeting planner and meeting administratorGood riddance
>>532361067Non-STEM alert.
>>532361067A person that runs meetings in the morning that no one wants to go to.
>>532360782TOTALAGILEDEATH
>>532361067Oi, lick me scrum, you cunt.
>>532361082Janitors actually do something useful though.
>>532361049not necessarily but companies that hire lots of jeets need these jeet wrangler roles. and you also need dedicated people to work through paperwork bullshit at big bloated bureaucratic companies. a lot of "fake jobs" arent actually fake but ideally should not exist, there is real time consuming stuff that has to be done, but these these dont have to be done in a small well managed all white male company
>>532360782I'm an electrical engineer. Sometimes I think about switching to a software path. Then I read "SCRUM". I think ok I'll do test engineering on hardware .. no a test engineer is expected to participate in "daily scrum activities" FUCK THAT. This is just teams and bosses who are too stupid to stay on the software "they" build, because obviously only a few guys actually know how to do it and the scrum assholes are just there to lord over them and take credit.
>ooooh noooooo i have to do something useful for a living nowhttps://www.scrum.org/resources/blog/day-life-scrum-master
>>532360892It has it merits.Without them, autist devs would spend a whole quarter trying to fix an issue that only happens 0.0001% of the time or pressure Frontend into releasing the worst UI you can imagine
>>532360782What in the absolute fuck is a "Scrum Master"? I think the level of made-up jobs, especially in tech and those retards thinking this shit is in every industry, is more prevalent than previously thought.
>>532360782Agile was never a good workflow.Not for pneumatics or psychics, and certainly not for hylics.It's also incompatible with WFH funnily enough.
>>532361260so its literally a white collar tard wrangler? just fire the scrumtard and find a dev who isnt a fucking autist
>>532361067Chairman of the meetings department.He starts meetings and leads meetings.Specific to his job, he doesn't have to participate in anything the meeting is about. All he has to do is host it and tell people which part of the meeting they're in now.
>>532360782>scrum masterIt's not even a real job. It's a team role that is supposed to be held by someone with other primary duties.
>>532361442Product of tech industry excess. This isn't a thing in other industries.
>>532360782LOL why is a do nothing know nothing position that can be taught and learned in under a day going away and not hiring?Scum masters are do nothing waste of resources faggots, How dare they try to trick people that they do any actual work.
>>532361422>dev who isnt a fucking autistAll devs are autists; the degree varies, but all of them are, even myself
>>532360782If they take away my ability to make a living then I guess I will just start pillaging till they kill me or something.
>>532360782SCROTUMMASTERBATEBROS...
>>532360782>scrum masterBullshit job>agile coachBullshit job>any form of middle managementBullshit job
>>532361442>tell people which part of the meeting they're in nowanyone who needs to be told this deserves unemployment
Just be a nigger to the system if you live in a dystopian shithole like America and use the laws setup for niggers to be allowed to shoplift up to X $ amount value of goods without being arrested and target all of the jewed brick and mortar corpos.
>>532361121I own 2 houses outright. Am retired tradesman. Wanker.
>>532361509Yes it is.When I worked for the unemployment services, they adopted the Agile method.They were sold the idea that it's more efficient and that they'll be more productive through it, and being gouvernment workers of course they thought that was true.The public sector is full with egomaniacs who will adopt new trends just to be trendy at the taxpayer's expense.
>>532361349This
>>532360782Those crappy little applications that the likes of IBM charge an absolute fortune for that aren't particularly advanced and programed by nerds who play MMORPGS most the day while pretending to work. They have the potential to disappear since they can now be made by the office secretary, I think a fair amount will be able to BS their way to keeping a job if they have people skills possibly. Still I think a lot of jobs are BS already who just want accreditations etc so I think many people are probably safe.>>532360892I thought that was a casino job.>>532361226Almost every job just employs jeets instead of training the next set of white people. Its a cycle though so the same will happen to the jeets.
>>532361067They're supposed to be responsible to uphold the Scrum process. You can read about that online at scrum.org.Scrum is supposed to set guard rails for getting work done, e.g. during digital product development. Software development teams have a religion of working in 2-week "sprints" including scrum meetings like backlog refinements and retrospectives.In reality, most "Scrum Masters" are women who never developed a functional software, and just force otherwise productive people into useless ceremonial meetings without caring much for the actual contents.They are mostly worthless if your dev team isn't 100% juniors or jeets.
>>532361067A stupid term for project administrator
>>532360857I love how they give it fake hair so it has to wear a hairnet. Not even the clankers will be spared the humiliation rituals.
GOODDIE IN THE FUCKING STREET YOU SLIME
>>532361067A monument to all our sins
>>532360782Miggers can now work the fields for the brown man as God intended.
I'M GONNA SCRUUUUUUUUM
>>532361944i'm going to put googly eyes on the ones i buy for my business eventually
>>532362124haha
>>532360857I want one of those to clean my house for meMaybe it can be programmed to say "thank you daddy" when I plug it into the wall for charging
>>532360782I really wanted to become a scrotum master :(
>>532360782We are moving to almost all ai pipeline, agile/scrum/kanban/whatever fuck name is no longer applicable
>>532361248i thought hating dutch people was just a meme until i interacted with a few of them, they act like canadians, possibly worse
>>532362236im absolutely getting one for around the house once they work out the bugs and its at a reasonable price. mine is going to talk to me like paulie's did i'll probably have it call me 'champ'
The new meta is going as fast as you can with a much qa automation as possible.QA automation is automated even the discover of test care and how to do it with playwright mcp/claude
>>532361067npc jobs to validate the ridiculous corpo machine.
>>532360782Isn't one of the actual workers like a lead the scrum master? Or do these people have a SM role where they literally just run meetings??
>>532362759>Or do these people have a SM role where they literally just run meetings??This. Clueless corporations hire full time Scrum Masters. Sometimes they share them across multiple teams for "efficiency", lol.
>>532360782Scrum masters are barely more relevant to company success than HR personell, in fact many companies would benefit almost as much from firing scrum masters as they would from firing HR Karens.How many story points is that task? Don't say two again!
>>532362891what a scrummy thing to say anon
>>532362759Do you work in fast food? How have you not been exposed to Agile?
>>532360782Good.Gonna buy a tent and fent.
>>532363049Is this some kind of meta humor?
>>532361067DEI job for shaneeqas who can't code.
>>532363049I work in tech. Our scrum master is the tech lead. Who tf had a person just doing basic admin work??? That's what op image sounds like
>>532361260So instead of fixing and optimizing the product, which gets slower and less user friendly with every added feature no one cares about but management said they wanted they can add those new features and make every slower and lag as management demanded. Great.Everything just get worse and worse and it's because of jeets and people like scrum masters. Small startups with only a few autists or even lone autists can release fast products that do what they promise but all large companies just make their products worse and worse with time.
>>532361328Thanks to Scrum Masters corporations can burn trough billions of dollars and never produce anything worthwhile
>>532363216>instead of fixing and optimizing the product, which gets slower and less user friendly with every added featurethis is exactly what Intuit has been doing to Quickbooks for the past year and a half and everytime you call them its some fucking curry that answers the phone. im literally swapping all my books over as soon as the business tax year rolls over
>>532360782Scrum masters and agile consultants are living waste of oxygen and the most worthless scum you can meet in the industry. And keep in mind that faggots involved in UI/UX have set the bar already very low.>saaar you must cripple the productivity and split the 1 continuous work to 4 different pieces assigned to 4 different people!
Been unemployed for 2.5 years and just got a job as a tech lead managing solutions and integrating them with our platform and I wanna cry coz of the stress and pressure. Help
>>532360782had to learn "agile" in one of my engineering group work design classes, its the most retarded feminist "highlighter girl" hr slop gay faggot ass calendar shit everspent longer on doing the agile forms and excel docs than the actual engineering work
>>532360782>agile coachwtf even is that bro?fucking gay ass economy fake faggot bullshit
>>532363216Sadly anon, people don't care if the page or apps load 0.1% faster using 10% less RAM.They want NEW THING, or they are giving their money to whoever presents NEW THING
>>532361067Remember in Office Space where the guy wearing glasses is being interviewed by the Bobs and explains that his job is to communicate messages between people, and the Bobs point out that those people could just as easily communicate between themselves? That's what a scrum master does.
>>532362948Women love a bit of scrummy in the tummy
>>532360892They wrangle autistic devs and jeets for a living, critical role
>>532363605>Bobs point out that those people could just as easily communicate between themselves?Anon...
AgileAI will be a thing. There will be a Scrum Master layer for autonomous agents, because AI without governance is just expensive chaos.
>>532360782niggerjeets and feminists started this scummaster bullshit. next step is they promote the feminist cunt or niggerjeet to dev manager over all the people who know what they are doing.
>>532361061In an ideal world it's just a glorified foreman, making sure that the job is going to be done on schedule and workers don't fuck up each other's progress. The original agile manifesto was a single A4 paper page.It has degraded into office play- pretend, with all the useless meetings and phony practices.
>>532363550>spent longer on doing the agile forms and excel docs than the actual engineering workThat naturally happens to any team inflicted with Scrum or Agile.The longer it persists the greater need to hire people that fill in TPS reports and it gets worse from there
>>532360782Onions will b InfluenSAAAAAAAAAAAAARS>Insufferable Z Faggots
>>532361865>Software development teams have a religion of working in 2-week "sprints" The made- up, artificial 2- week time limit to get a job done is as close to self- sabotage as possible. Try to work on anything involving architecture, external dependencies and actual exploration and tell me how does it work for you.>including scrum meetings like backlog refinements and retrospectives.99% of those meetings exist only to justify the existence of a phony job scrum master does.
>>532361033scrum master claws typed this post
>>532361061>that picBro, I had no idea it was THAT gay and retarded
>>532363831>It has degraded into office play- pretend, with all the useless meetings and phony practices.and so it needs to go. its just a fake position for foids and faggots to draw a salary. one small business owner does everything the scrumtard and their team accomplish in the same day
Tech in particular was always a bubble
>>532361067Is the kind of bullshit you make up in the spot to justify a salary without working
>>532361139Scrum master isn't even supposed to run the meetings kek. Devs are supposed to run the daily standup and the product manager the rest. They are just supposed to make sure they occur and are the meetings they are supposed to be.
>>532360782>Scrum Masters>Agile Coacheswhat the fuck is this shit? bullshit job industry stuff?
>>532361061>Roadblock removerI've never once heard an SM say "Okay, let me speak with them and try and get things moving again", it's always "have you messaged them again??"
>>532361049I thought it was rugby
>>532360782>scrum masters>agile coachesLmao
A competent scrum master can actually be quite beneficial for a scrum team. That being said, the idea of a full time scrum master is bullshit. In my team that role is fulfilled by one of the developers, who happens to be quite good at it.t. software engineer
>>532360782The transition to Agile is largely complete
>>532364459its literally a corporate tard wrangler
>>532361260Sar pls govern me sar we have to fullfill business value point sar so that jews can make profit and buy children to have scc with sar
> Ken Schwaber: One of the primary co-creators of Scrum, Schwaber has a Jewish background. He is a foundational figure in the movement and co-authored the original Scrum Guide.WELL WELL WELL
>>532364776Every single time.
>>532361033And they all have DEI departments and ESG boards and so on.
>>532361349Workflow for who faggot? Who are you working for nigger cum eater?
>>532364764
>>532361488I am not fully understanding. Put together a Kanban board
>>532362417You're probably right. I must say that we from the south are much different from the northerners who tend to be more arrogant.But who knows I usually take the piss out of any American I meet.(My flag is because I am an immigrant in Sweden, Netherlands has no space or nature)
>scrum masterka-POW! *breaks your face*
>>532364442Scrum master is a type of project manager. Agile coaches the same, leaders but for operations or production.When you get a bunch of autists working together traditional heriarchys dont work right, as self managed teams they need different types of leaders then other organizations.A scrum master is meant to keep everyone working within the scrum framework as its proven to be an effective way of continuous improvement via iteration. They are also supposed to empower the team to remove obstacles standing in their way, but not do it for them.They do shit like remind everyone that the daily stand up isnt supposed to be the product manager telling all the devs what they will do today. They are not supposed to actually manage anything(scrum teams are self managing) and dont even need to know anything about what is being developed. All they care about is scrum occuring the way it is supposed to.
>>532361226Someone even did the math on that, btw. I think for every 3 jeets you need 1 White man to crack the whip
>>532360782Tard Wrangler is exactly right. Now they’re rebranding as “Project Managers” the PMP cert is all the rage now. Been for several years. Babysitting jobs for useless women.
>>532360782To be fair, all that engineers want to do is either their specific tasks or very general planning, AKA the cool parts of the engineering job. Nobody wants to tick boxes, push their specific problems, write emails, make plans for next three months, assign people to tasks, pick a task from the pile on their own or double-check that everything is done. But that should just be the non-tech lead's job, and not a dedicated position.
>>532360782scrum master sister marines......its over...........
>>532360782"Scrum master" isn't a real job, holy cow.
>>532361248i don't trust people with gapped teeth, there's just something about them that puts me off
>>532360865I imagine it pulls people away from the productive flow to attend meetings, endure 'training' and compose reports
>>532364588>checks flagno wonder, only a d*tch would invent this
>>532365335Correct, its one of many tasks that an actual position would include.
>>532360782
>>532361823You own two outhouses, right?
>>532360782The Richard-Scarry Rule: if you can't describe your job in 3 words and it doesn't make a physical change or a product it was just a 'position', never an actual job
>>532360892It's the first I heard of that title. Seems like anon critical make work seat for women/browns/nepo hires. Happy to see them get cut.
>>532365335>implying 90% of boomer tumor jobs aren't bullshitThey existed in the office for hours at a time! Their 30 year holiday needs taxpayer funding!
>>532365588A scrum master can be described as "I wrangle autistic devs."
>>532363157We once got a nigger pm (project manager) that was so bad she couldn't even read. They had to put together slides for her, and she stumbled on basic words. She described herself as an "army brat". She would communicate with us via email with an attached word document, asking us to put in our "stand up" beforehand so we could discuss it - defeating the "purpose" of the already useless stand up in the morning. Fortunately she quit after three weeks. But I still see people literally named shaniqua getting hired to high level software engineering positions and I have no idea how. HR is a joke. Fortune 500 companies are a joke. It's tanking our stock and they just keep punishing us devs like it's our fault. Also fuck 95% of jeets
>>532362850Sort of like a fleshlight at the frat house?
>>532364776Oh yeah, speaking of Schwaber he already had the scrum framework designed (and apparently it was an offshoot of some other framework that already existed) before he attended the Agile conferenceSo basically he only used Agile's growing buzz as a marketing niche to sell his own business first framework.
>>532365722>....and it doesn't make a physical change or a product An AI can do that, and the TismDevs will prefer it to a 3D input
>>532366126Don't forget in agile the pm is supposed to write the stories for the devs, but they completely lack the technical knowledge to do so in all circumstances that I've seen, so the devs have to write the stories themselves. I've even had pms that say "hey just send me what to write and I'll create the story" and it's like fuck you I might as well just write it myself at that point.
>>532366126>Agile's growing buzzPersonally I'm really glad that UML buzz is dead.I heard some horror stories about it.
>>532365722They don't wrangle shit.Thank god I don't work in an organization that does (pretend) agile or (pretend) scrum anymore. But when I did, I, as an autistic dev, was just making shit up.>Monday meeting. "Yeah so I'm doing the design and planning for this new feature">Agile cunt: "good stuff anon!">Tuesday meeting: "Yeah so I've started implementing the feature">Agile cunt: "good job anon!">Wednesday meeting: "Hmm so I'm still implementing the feature, going well">Agile cunt: "cool anon, keep us posted">Thursday meeting: "OK, it's done, I'm written some tests now">Agile cunt: "awesome anon!">Friday meeting: "yeah so I'm just finishing doco, we're good for a deployment early next week"The agile retard is happy that progress is made. In reality it was a 4-hour job.
>>532360782The trick is to just be a dev on the dev team and ALSO be the teams scrum master. If you’re not producing code, fundamentally you’re dead weight for a software company. Simple as. t. Dev and team scrum master for a time
>>532366411The flow shart stuff?
>>532361823You weren't the one he replied to, so it's funny you felt attacked by this>trade workerahh you should feel attacked, room temperature IQ
>>532366394>and it's like fuck you I might as well just write it myself at that point.One thing that always makes me laugh as well, is they've learned the thing about user stories, where you're meant to put yourself in the shoes of some specific user to write the story.It's meant to be specific roles.Yet they start every single one with the generic, "As a user, I want to <...>" Like what the fuck do you mean, "As a user"? Isn't every user... a user?
>>532361328>What in the absolute fuck is a "Scrum Master"?sounds like dungeons and dragons
>>532361061These motherfuckersSo many will need to be killed
>>532366694laugh, but the tradies will be the ones working while the techtards are set aside. i will laugh at the scrumfags as i retire by 50 in my 3% mortgaged home>i turn the wrench>i make the money
>>532366583I wish I could get away from it, but companies have started sacking devs because they're too expensive on karen's salary spreadsheet, and buying in contractors as and when they need them, and all consultancies run off scrum because they need to justify billable hours.
>>532365354That and making them act peppy and gay about their workday, my former employer had even hired a couple of male(!) "advocates" for it whatever that means... I'm so glad I left Tech and went back to working with my hands, and I wouldn't mind seeing an Iranian missile go into the office building of everyone who was greedy and corrupt enough to remain...
>>532366711It's not just the templated bullshit, which is indeed bullshit. It's also that each scenario should technically tie to a unit test. They can't write or understand that, ever.
>>532361328It's basically a glorified coordinator for your sprints
>>532360782the only growth industry in america right now is nursing homes lolthis job is hell btw, i know a bunch whove worked at them
>>532363754>niggerjeets, scrum masters, product owners and dev managers
>>532361033mostly all women too like hr, ergo bullshit kike daycare job. meeting creating time wasting faggots.
>>532364418So a calender invite for jeets.
>>532360782Scrum masters are a waste of money and oxygen. Don't get me wrong I know that my days as a developer are numbered and I'd get the boot too, but it is very satisfy to see those assholes go.
>>532367523HR is not that unproductive, they have to spend some time to make sure you are fired in compliance with employment laws.
>>532367803>HR is not that unproductive
>>532367912>jokes>>you
>>532366721It should be an Assistant Coach position for a Rugby Union team.>its just another retard misapplying misunderstood sportsball words to their non-job.
After careful consideration, I've come to the conclusion that w*rking is below me and the government agrees. I'll let the wage slaves and salary serfs figure it out.
>>532360782Degree I got was worthless (CompSci), so now I just have to meander around in retail until we get a 2nd Hitler.
>>532361067It's like a virtual janitor except in the workplace.
Scrum, agile, and all of those "progress" tracker features are useless bureaucracy that only exist to show the dumbfucks at the top that things are happening. What things? Doesn't matter.If employees aren't getting shit done in a timely manner and aren't making efforts to keep the train moving, they shouldn't have a job. Simple as.
>>532360782Bunch of fucking nerds pretending to be like jocks on a rugby teamThese cringey fucks deserve itThey engineered their own replacement
>>532360847More like CUM Masters, amirite!???
>Sc(r)um and (f)Agile blown the fuck outWaterfall Chads fucking won.
>>532360782Scrum Master sounds like a job that existed in the Middle Ages.
>>532361509Sounds like every middle manager everywhere
dropkick scrum master babies into trash compactors
>>532360782>why are scrum masters disproportionally affected?because they don't even do anything. all our scrum master does is schedule the weekly, say "hi" after dialing in and then "anything further?" after everyone else stopped talking.why do you need someone who for certain makes 70k+/yr for that position? (which is quite a decent wage in germany)
slice scrum masters in half with a katana
>>532360865fittingly, every single one of our scrum masters is female, kek
>>532361509Its like this in every corporate/office environment.
>>532368971-_-
>>532360782>had to look up what a scrum master isI don't know if I've ever heard of a more useless job in my life. More like a bum master amirite?
scam masterscat mongercum mustardnuff said
>>532364136in theory, if they actually did what is described in the picture, they'd simply be a less well paid manager (because the manager is too busy fucking the intern)in practice, they don't even do what's described in the picture. they just schedule calls, do some smalltalk, and that's it.
to be fair, scrum does make a certain kind of sense with respect to the middle management problem. in engineering, if you follow naive logic, you'll end up promoting your best engineers into a role where they are managing other engineers. this sounds good until you realize that your formerly-best engineer now does less engineering and more managing, which can suck. while it's super gay working under some corpo leader-drone who's totally clueless, in theory the idea works. in practice, it's usually better to just leave engineers alone and let them work.
>>532369424Girl boss
>>532360865Women and brown minorities. The job's function is to push DEI numbers up to secure credit from bankers like Larry Fink.
>>532360782>scrum masterYEAH SO *has coffee for an entire hour the moment they walk in at 8:30* TODAY WE’RE GONNA CHECK IN WITH OUR WEEKLY GOALS MM’KAY? *fucks off to lunch room for a mid morning biscuit and another coffee* ANON-1 WHAT DID YOU DO LAST WEEK? *takes “1 hour lunch break” that lasts 2 hours* ALRIGHT, ANON-2 WHAT DID YOU COMPLETE? GREAT! *literally hangs out at the water cooler for an hour* AWESOME GUYS SO THAT’S ABOUT IT FOR TODAY I’LL CHECK IN WITH YOU NEXT MONDAY *sends an email, accidentally does Reply All now everybody knows Stacy is banging the head of HR*
>>532369625The corporate structuring currently heavily favoring finance, marketing, and management over actually innovating and developing product is indicative of a deeper problem within the economy.
>>532361865Why does this read like the Turbo Encabulator explaination ?
>>532369625a clueless manager is always a massive pain in the ass. you waste so much time arguing with them because they do not understand why none of what they said makes any sense at all.it is much better to simply sacrifice some of that engineer's time. him losing an hour or two every day on also doing team lead tasks is preferably over everyone in the team losing an hour each day on calls with a retarded manager who doesn't understand anything.it is easily 60 to 90 minutes every single day where I try to shield the team from retarded managers who have no idea what they are talking about.
>>532360782Scrum master? Agile coach? These are not real jobs anon. Even the names are embarrassing.
>>532360782See you tomorrow for when it turns into 2 more weeks.
>>532369737>accidentally does Reply All now everybody knows Stacy is banging the head of HRthat would be pretty based though
>>532364110I dunno, I think trying to split the work into packages that don't last too long is a good approach. It helps avoiding the trap of procrastination, where you do nothing for 2 weeks because the deadline is still 8 weeks away and then perish. Any task that is too long for 2 weeks simply needs to be split into smaller individual tasks.Scrum masters are still useless. A team lead can easily do that with basically no extra effort.
>>532360782Zoomers going to have to actually work Kek
>>532360782ME BOTTLE O SCRUMPY.
>>532360782project management is real work. autistic engineers when left to their own devices do nothing or hyper fixate on nonsense. they need to be whipped across the finish line by project managers.
>>532369776I work in deep avtech. The turboencabulator meme is just an OPSEC CONOPS to suppress the damage of the turboencabulator leak.
>>532369831A manager SHOULD be as clueless as possible about technical side of the job. It's not his stuff. All he needs to know is what's to be done, what is the purpose of it and what is the schedule. God forbid him from making his own suggestions on technical details. Shut up massa, whyte nigga knows da best what's going on in da beeping box.
>>532364956I thought that was normal thing outside porn?
>>532360782Scrum master is a bullshit job
>>532360782You dont need an qualifications to be a scrum master. Any software developer can take the role of a product owner or scrum master. It's just not a very fun role, since it involves women things like socializing and remembering the feelings of people. While the role is not useless per se, they free up developer's time to shitpost on /pol/, it's not a real hard job. Usually it's take on by women or men who are too old for the real roles.
I always wondered what these fags in offices do all day>t. simple man
>>532368598Progress tracking features are not a part of scrum. Thats bullshit managers who dont understand scrum add to it.
>>532370382>A manager SHOULD be as clueless as possible about technical side of the jobmy manager is the perfect example for why that is simply not true.just having to talk to him makes me consider quitting this job, even though I couldn't get a better one anywhere else.it's nothing but retarded time wasting every single time where we eventually agree on what I said initially, but it takes at least an hour to get him to that point.
>>532370186Over last 12 years I have seen all the time that the holy 2 weeks are universally hated and too short to fully encapsulate anything serious. 3 weeks would be optimal.The methodology taught by external "consultants" is by default addressed to brain dead jobs where the peak of creativity is adding a new page to an online shop. It's not meant for actual engineering job. SAFE went so far that it even "recommends" programming languages that should be used by developers.
>>532361248>so what the fuck does a Scrum Master actually do?>blog post never answers this question Lmao
>>532370826I'd be fine with 3 weeks, too.I just think that months would be a very obvious procrastination trap, so the cycle shouldn't be too long
>>532370556>>532370615Scrum master can be summed up with "I wrangle tards".
>>532364776Funny because didnt he leave scrum alliance for being too jewy for him?
>>532365588Man I forgot about Richard Scarry. Lowly Worm is the best
>>532360865Scrum masters and product managers. 100%
>>532361260Technology would be infinitely better without them.>Autistic devs create highly performant applications, which can only be used by white men, because browns, women, and other idiots can't figure out how to use it.>We immediately go back to the 90s when some white guy can get equivalent to a 6 figure job just helping retards figure out how to use excel.
>>532360782So What are the safe jobs and skills that AI won't be able to do?
>>532370820>it's nothing but retarded time wasting every single time where we eventually agree on what I said initially, but it takes at least an hour to get him to that point.Maybe it depends on your status. I used to get this treatment as a shit test when I was a junior dev with blank CV.
>>532369831i agree with you in practice. i have a certain fondness for the abstract idea of organizational strategies like scrum, but i think they're generally just too idealized to ever survive contact with reality. promoting engineers at the very least selects for people who at one point -- and hopefully currently -- cared enough to develop a (sorry, scrummies) real skill. also, it's hard to generalize about these things because of how many variables there are, but... if you have a team of motivated, bright juniors, there is a decent argument to be made that their time has a higher opportunity cost in aggregate than the senior who sacrifices a few hours a day playing the game to make it happen. my 2c
>>532360782> Scrum Mastersmore like SCUM NIGGERSWhat did they think? That they would attend daily meetings with AIs?
>>532361865The women work harder than you do honestly especially with Claude Code doing everything.The job of business analyst, PM, scrum master, UX designer, all sounds nightmarish to me as an incel. Spending 6 hours a day just talking and organizing labor while giving workshops and 2 hours in Power BI and Excel, coding has to be way more fun than that.
All of the Laptop Jewish Daycare class of jobs are finally going away.
>>532360782SCUM Masters are a waste of time. Most people don't care about SCRUM schedules unless they're actually doing something with it, in which case they're doing something that requires an understanding of Agile rather than being an explicit Agile Scrum master. Plus most Scrum masters want more money than they're worth.
>>532371077Anything that can do remotely, will be done by AI soon, but robotics still needs a lot of work, so manual jobs like electrician, car repair, prostitution, etc are safe for a decent amount of time
>>532371254AI can spit out large amounts of plausible code, but it can't understand systems in the way a human can. i think a lot of the panic about vibecoding stems from a total misunderstanding about what's actually difficult about programming in current year. you don't pay someone to churn out a million lines of code a month -- ideally, you pay them to understand the tech stack in sufficient detail that they can write a thousand lines instead.
>>532370615>>532370556Lol. I build stuff
>>532361067Made-up "busy work" job for women and DEI hires. Basically a glorified babysitter, but they are somehow even more useless IRL
>>532361067A massive faggot everyone cums in the morning before real work begins.
>>532361422We never used to need scrum masters. In the 80s/90s it was all a bunch of nerdy autist white dudes. They are responsible for the golden age of tech. The boss used to hire like 15 of us, put us in a room and say "you have ____ amount of time to get _______ across the finish line". Then he'd leave us to it. Fun times were had. Debauchery. Playing DnD on company time. Doing coke in your office with the boys. And overall GETTING SHIT DONE. It was a beautiful and efficient system. There was no need to ruin it with women and niggers and jeets
>>532371612>tfw no cum master bussy to blow my load in before telling claude what to do for 8 hours
>>532361067I've worked in a factory for 16 years, 6 of which asca manager and this thread is the first time I've heard of this bullshit job.
>>532361061you can tell when a company produces nothing and is inefficient because it applies marketing terms inside the company. marketing terms are just propaganda, it is meant to be used to convince people to buy your shit. you would only use it on your own employees if you need them to buy your shit instead. it tells you that;> the company has a bad product or no product, >that it primarily does subjective work like 'services' - where the 'service in question is something you need to be convinced of instead of something you need to pursue (the difference between hiring an accountant and hiring a personal barista) >increases in sales or performance are either automatic without human input or at least not easily quantifiable by mere observation>work satisfaction is non-existent and turn-over is probably really high among the shit kickers who cannot perceive the value of their inputthus they must be tricked into thinking their job description isnt just entry level schmucking.
>>532360782Scrum master isn't a job. It is usually just whatever engineer is leading standup meetings and checking to make sure tickets are tagged appropriately for management.
>>532360782WE HAVE SO MANY FUCKING GAY AND POINTLESS MEETINGS, THAT WE NO LONGER HAVE ANY TIME OR INTEREST FOR ACTUAL PRODUCTIVE SYNCS.ITS PROBABLY WORKING BY DESIGN
>>532371601this. only post needed. in reality, only engineers and manual laborers create value. rest is nonsense work for psycho finance people who manipulate numbers and ofc women
>>532364186and also the management style that created itreplacing white guys that make good software with pajeets and women that slowly ruin good software is called "Harvard MBA Philosophy" and other retarded shit but basically amounts to trying to get rid of employees that are not easily replaceable however you can.this is why pajeets were hired by Boeing to slam 737's into the ocean, why pajeets were hired by CrowdStrike and allowed by pajeets at Microsoft to brick millions of peoples computers, why Tesla hired hundreds of pajeets to fail to develop self driving cars after over a decade and billions of dollars...they dont "get away" with infesting workplaces and driving out everyone that is not a retarded curry monkey with disgusting nepotism, they are encouraged to do it by these pieces of shit from the most jewish university in the world.
>>532360782holy fuck the morning daily scrum calls are so absolutely pointless and such a waste of time. everything KPI related can be seen on the live dashboard and nothing of value is ever discussed. fuck jew daycare
>>532360782>my plans matter!Nope.
>>532361260Software and the internet was better when this was the case
>>532365587I literally died of laughter reading this.
>>532360782God I wish AI would lay me off
>>532372227
>>532362236I’m getting one just to clean my asshole. If it doesn’t leave me asshole squeaky clean I’m knocking it to the ground and then rubbing my ass all over its face, instructing it to clean itself off and do a better job next time
>>532360847the amount of ego smash that is about to hit these worthless self important fuckers is outstanding.the world is going to collapse and everything these people have ever known will go bye bye.these fucking useless idiots helped usher in their own, and our, demise.
>>532360782Yea, when speaking about Jew Daycare Scrummaster is where the talentless non technical ITers end up when they read the job responsibilities and think: "Well, this is what I can do." It can be valuable. But I am in AI. And one of the agents every company can create is the SCRUM master agent. Hook it up to the tickets and the job just becomes a daily automation/cron job.
>>532360782Kek, I wish that was the case. In my experience it's always the productive people who suffer the mass layoffs, entire teams of developers or QA engineers or business analysts while the useless roles are always safe (HR, PMs, scrum masters, random middle-management, etc.)
>>532372267Management wants cheap yes men for developers and thinks of middle management and product/sales as gods. The place I work for didn't even hire pajeets, but has hired a lot of normies that barely made it through university to write sloppy code. The affect has been the same and the company is completely dysfunctional when it comes to anything technical. Basically we have so little discipline that we can't even write stable rest apis which has become a huge problem for the company as ai and automation takes over.
what the fuck is a scrum master? a supervisor?a scrum is from rugby where we all smash together and my head gets squished by all the nice big thicc thighs
>>532373123Its a social game and these women aren't afraid to use their sexuality and social status to do this.A lone Autist isn't set up to deal with this.
>>532360857fug, Poles became obsolete
>>532360782TOTAL SCRUM MASTER DEATHTOTAL PROJECT MANAGER DEATHTOTAL IT LEECH NIGGER DEATH
>>532362236>when I plug it...>into the wallphew
>>532362427In shannon briggs voice
>>532360782They are literally secretaries, but for the whole team intead of just one CEO. Not enterely useles, because if they actually do what thay are supposed to they take some bureacratic shit and dealing with the client bullshit off your back, but yeah way too glorified and overpaid.
>>532372267In summary: International Jewish Capital would rather slam a plane full of passengers into the ocean than allow Labor to have bargaining power.
>>532360782As a scrum master this is problematic
>>532361061its essentially astrology for programmers
>>532360782Scrum master is a bullshit job. It can be done by any Dev, but it's used by management as a way to reward friends/family/lovers with a paycheck and a bunch of benefits for doing close to nothing.
>>532360782Desk jobs are for gay niggers w super aids
>>532360782Scrum master is a fake job invented to enpmoy women and useless minorities It used to be something a junior developer did in their spare time.
>>532360782Scrum masters can typically just pivot to general project management tho
>>532368971Scrum masters, not like this...
>>532360782What a bullshit job. Literally something any random person working in tech can do.We don't even have program managers in Europe.At all.Another bullshit American job for niggers and women.
>>532373726Another fake job that adds no value to the process.
>>532360865>scrum master is literally a job created to have more women in tech, it doesn't DO anything.Correct. We have several woman only bullshit jobs so we can pretend like women are competent to work in tech jobs.>people managers (0 tech skill needed)>documentation and compliance>GRC>information security awareness>insider fraud prevention
>>532360782>first they came for the scrum masters, and I did not speak out, because I was only interested in heterosexual intercourse
>>532373771>>532373726>are...you guys working?>could you uh...work any harder?
>>532366830You will be pushed out of that profession by former white collar professionals who are way more intelligent than you.
>>532373598>>532373603I have never encountered a dedicated scrum master. Usually it rotates between engineers or there is one engineer that volunteers to lead standup.>>532373661The west coast is full of gays and white guys with yellow fever
>>532360847FPBP, incredibly accurate.
>>532373978>The date that you all gave me that I have no context for is coming up, let me know if we're not gonna make that date >I have no idea what's going on I just bother and slow down the people who do so I can make you a pretty gannt chart of absolute nonsense
>>532362467>Playwright mcpShit. I need to try this. I've been learning Playwright. I have gemini subscription through work I think I can use.
>>532360782Good. Tech job market should go back to being a niche nerd circle.In the last 10 years we have all these superificial normies and "viber coders" who took an online Indian class and proceeded to larp as PC experts.No make it hard and nerdy again.I look forward to the shrinking of the Tech market. (Will still be super important btw)
>>532374261>His work gives him Gemini instead of ClaudeDamn that's some favela shit
>>532374304Probably a package deal thing with google apps.
>>532373603that's literally giving them too much credit and makes it sound like they do more work than they do. they could not exist and i wouldn't be able to tell a difference as a programmer
>>532374362At least it's not copilot
I work in big accounting which has a lot of pointless bullshit but people multitask instead of needing a "Scrum master". Why are techies children that can't multitask or figure things out on their own?
>>532360782where i work our scrum master/pm is on maternity leave and literally nothing has been done in that time... Devs need someone to yell at them to get shit done
these are low-interest rate era jobs that were created to offload PMs and EMs job to run the meeting ceremonies. yes it's as ridiculous as it sounds
>>532360865No it was to employ old head tech boomers that couldn't keep up with the times. All the terminology is boomer coded in the morning we do our SCRUM and then do planning Poker and then our TIGER TEAM goes to the WAR ROOM to GROOM the backlog
>>532360782https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbEstJ98TcM
>>532360782Lmao
>>532374734same with zero six sigma. Boomer coded from top to bottom
>>532360959Truth. Sometimes though they pull back and are very selective. Something as simple as weak foot tendons take people out of the running. Sort of odd people don't even try to see if they qualify. They think bootcamp is the entire time when that is 120 days. ROTC at school preps them for the experience no commitment. Taking a pass on all expenses paid around the world having experiences is odd. Misconception, all military is just infantry in a war zone stepping on IED. Discipline draws things out but in a world where no discipline is ever required guess it isn't appealing.
>>532361033You should actually read the book "Bullshit Jobs"
>>532360857Clankers actually doing the shitty jobs would be an insane improvement on the current situation.
>>532372485A level 9 engineer put a 15 minute daily on my calendar, but he never calls in and doesn't cancel, so I just don't even show up and ignore him. I don't charge his network anyway.
>>532360782Are any of these words even real
Worked for state. Program managers went to a 'retreat' come back and implement a golf game on a fucking piece of poster paper with everyone having a different market dot on the poster. The more kids you closed out of juvenile probation and parole, the closer your dot moved to hole in one. Seriously, the state spent wads and sent these people on week long retreat and they came back with this in 2009 for fucks sake. In the meeting, this is our new thing aren't you excited. Me, excuse me but this is something you got out of the book by XYZ, these kids are getting services in wrap form and otherwise, and a dot on a poster paper competition for us to have to deal with is about the most ridiculous thing I've come across in my entire professional history. Quit a month later. I can't deal with humans playing office like they did when 8. Especially not in public service. Vomitus.
>>532374226>we need more meetings
>>532369646>genz boss in a miniThe circle of girls are scrum
>>532361067Someone who takes 30 minutes of your life during the work week to hear your update each morning when a simple Slack message would do
>>532360847FPBP>calendar jockiesKEK!
>>532361121we dont have scrum masters in civil engineeringsounds like a tech thing
>>532360782So IT jobs are dead?Fuck, I wanted to enter that field since I'm already in my 30s
>>532376252scrum master /project manager are not it jobsyou can still make good money programming and it is still worthwhile to get into
Project managers were the worst thing to ever happen to software dev. Since AGILE/scrum, software costs have skyrocketed, devs times have multiplied, and there more vulnerabilities than ever.
>>532361067Our scrum masters here in Canada makes sure everyone goes around and does a personal land acknowledgement at the start of every meeting.
>>532360865I don't think I've ever run into a dedicated scrum master in my entire career. It is usually just assumed by the manager of the team or the most senior engineer.
>>532361184for free, though
>>532371826The tech you spend half year to create in 90s with your jerkbros can be vibecoded nowadays in 5 seconds.The jeet armies are employed for tasks beyond your comprehension.
>>532360782>. Even scrum masters, a positionThat was another crappy made up pile of shit sitting on the shoulders of the small number of people who can actually do anything useful anyone wants.
>>532374598>Why are techies children that can't multitask or figure things out on their own?The children are the management who think they can do voodoo to make creative work go "faster" when they don't measure the speed or productivity properly anyway.The people who hype scrum also hype AI, btw.
>>532373385Leave this site. I must protect your innocence.
>>532377862>Vibecodes an application>It doesn't compile, because schizophrenic AI hallucinations>Spend a week trying to figure out what's wrong>Eventually scrap it all and make it yourself
our scrum masters are struggling
>>532366583LMAO that's me at my last two fortune 500 jobs.Just by getting anything productive done at all in a one week period, you are outperforming the jeets. Even if it took you 4 hours.
>>532364588>A scrum master can be beneficial to a scrum team and a scrum project, but the scrum whips and scrum wranglers also play a vital scrum role in the scrum management scrumstem, and they scrumpity scrum the scrumpy scrumblesThis just absolute fucking nonsense someone made up to justify a fake job with a fat paycheck. It's like 10-15 years ago when all the ed doctorate fags suddenly started showing up in higher ed admins and started forcing all this gay active learning shit down everyone's throats with no basis for any of it working. But we all had to "flip our classrooms" and "shifts some paradigms" and "reorient some learning outcomes" and it was a big fucking disaster and everyone just went back to traditional teaching methods after a few years because they realized it was all a bunch of empty terminology and nonsense for people to justify getting a six figure admin salary for doing nothing.
>>532361615sounds good to me. Personally i think ill do the whole rape and sell the woman off thing. seems like fun while making a profit.
>>53237317320 years ago, a good CS program at a regular university would have about a 70%-80% acceptance rate for undergraduates. It would have a failure/dropout rate of over 90% with only a very small number of people succeeding. At this time, the starting salary was slightly higher for a new BCS graduate than it was for a bachelor of EE.Today, universities graduate retards that cannot read past a grade 5 level, or use a toilet properly in the case of many indians, to rake in more money, to pay their boomer staff, faculty and governor boards off while ruining the cities they exist in with floods of disgusting shitty "international students" skirting the regular immigration program and wiping poopy tapeworm eggs all over peoples fast food and so on...You cannot hire based on credentials at all any more. You have to ask people to keep a portfolio of work. You have to check the portfolio and you cannot allow HR Karen to do it, because pajeets spam git commits and pull requests to try and trick her stupid ass now, too.
>>532360782lmao Scrum Masters getting kicked in the face with the harsh reality that they were never a valuable role.
>>532361615>netherlandsnigger your government will keep you paid for the rest of your life, worry about your women instead
>>532365219>They are not supposed to actually manage anything(scrum teams are self managing) and dont even need to know anything about what is being developed. All they care about is scrum occuring the way it is supposed to.You just answered the thread, or at least OP's screenshot.
>>532361067its like being a cum master
>>532370615I write code.Looks like I have a rea job, gaiboi
>>532373529when you put it like that, it does sound completely in line with their default behaviour.
>>532361067it's a position created for women and men without testicles
>>532361067Men don't work in an office. Don't worry anon.
>>532361061>>532361067all jokes aside, "Shielding member from outside interruptions" is quite valuable. It means Sandy from Accounting and Bruce from marketing wont interrupt your day with a stupid ass question or "input". It all goes to the scrum master, meaning you can literally tell them to fuck off, because they dont understand "the rules". Otherwise this could happen constantly, especially if you are the guy who everyone thinks as the most competent, quickest or reliable.
>>532371077A mix of electrical engineering/mechatronics and electrician to pay for schoolSay you are 18, go to electrician journeyman get paid money, use money to buy EE degree, and try to get into mechatronics. When robots are in every home you will make BAAAANK BANK BANCO LOCO repairing them. Charge 250 USD to fix a servo that was 5 bucks of materials and ten minutes. That would be nicely hedged if EE gets replaced by AI because you can just go Full Electrician or Repair Guy but your EE can get you designing robot systems.
>>532361061>boost productivity>deliver value
>>532371470Thank you for clarifying this anon I really want to do a SWE bootcamp I am bored of my shitty life. Trying to decide on BA to be honest. I just can't do advanced math's because of a learning disability.
>>532360857>the little gesture of gratitude the server bot gives the chef botAlready better than most.
