https://x.com/MikeBales/status/2040458271618658713
>>532387140>And then everyone clapped and salutedPerformative faggot boomer
>>532387140And then everybody in the restaurant clapped
>>532387140kek
>>532387140I hope he got a blowjob out of it
>>532387140eating out in uniform is a violation military law and prosecutable under UCMJ
>>532387140Sorry, I have a low tolerance for cringe.
pic rel cried
>>532387140>have no money>go to a steakhouse just to order a side salad and baked potato
>>532387140Jesus. This is embarrassing.
>>532387140>Anon, I...
Of all the things that never happened, this was the most
>>532387140sex gifs
>>532387519
And then everyone died for Israel
>>532387494This.It sounds like a start of some gay porno. >Sir, I
>>532387140
i, as a boomer, got an erect penis from reading that post. we truly are the best generation.
>The kid turned to me. "Sir, I.."This ought to be the new "and everybody clapped".
>>532387140Absolutely none of this happened.
>>532387140Thank God he posted it on Twitter for upvotes or it might have been a selfless deed.
>>532387140when the coal is so concentrated it turns into a gem
>>532387140When did Boomers learn to Reddit post fictional stories?
>>532387140>No need to thank me.. THANK YOU for your service!
>>532387140let me guess it ended with anal
this is quasi-porno boomer fan fiction
>>532388024its a copy pasta, this boomer couldnt even figure out how to use ai to prompt an altered version
"You can't serve Israel on an empty stomach, son"*turns around slowly and walks out of the diner door**pauses**takes out cigarette from back pocket and lights it**adjusts cowboy hat**walks away*[audience clapping]
>>532387140We call this "Gschichtn ausm Paulanergarten"
>>532388209TOP FUCKING KEKE!!!!!I bet it’s an Indian bot pretending to be a white American man! LOL!
>>532388209Man I fucking hate it when I don't recognize pasta. Thank you for spoonfeeding a nigger brained retard like me.
>>532387423>>532387140>>532387494>>532388078my feed when i say I don't support raping and bombing children
>>532387140>>"BUT I DIDN'T ORDERED IT!!" the kid frantically screamed, lifting his helmet to show his green dye hair.>>"I'm a TRANS VEGAN TROOPER YOU BIGOT HATER!!!!, AND IT'S IT OR THEM!!!". crying, the kid left the steakhouse. Lipstick colors on the glass the kid used was the only evidence it ever happened......
>>532388415Jesus...
>>532388415good chanceI got a boomer avatar I had AI generate, maybe I should use it to monetize these retarded fucks
>>532387140Marines think everyone who wears their canmies in public is an annoying attention seeking faggot.And well they aren't allowed to wear them in public so that is in part some jealousy
>>532388003everyone clapped each other
>>532387140and then everyone clapped
>>532387140>account based in: Israel
dude typed this with one hand
>>532387140Even if it wasn't a blatant lie, how is this a positive story to post? A solider who is going to die for israel isn't getting paid enough to order a steak.
>>532388944Not exactly fair, he spent his $60,000 sign-on bonus on funkopop toys, onlyfans and nicotine gum.
Wow what a compelling true heart jerking story, sir.
Do you think he got a boner while typing this boomer erotica
>>532387551Fair enough, but there could've been extenuating circumstances at play. Perhaps he had no transportation to get to a more suitable choice of venue, and this steakhouse was walking distance of greyhound terminal or whatever. Also, I'm guessing a lot of young service men might lack basic financial and food prep skills and grow accustomed to just hitting the mess hall on the daily.
>>532387140>Sir, I......am a vegetarian and only ate it to not be rude
Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alonein a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone.I had come down the chimney with presents to giveAnd to see whom in this home did live.I looked all about. A strange sight I did seeNo Tinsel. No presents. Not even a tree.No stocking by the mantle just boots filled with sand.On the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.With medals and badges, awards of all kinds,A sober thought came through my mind.For this house was different. It was dark and dreary,I found the home of a soldier, once I could see clearly.The soldier lay sleeping, silent, alone,Curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home.The face was gentle, the room in such disorder,Not how I pictured a United States Soldier.Was this the hero of whom I’d just read?Curled up on a poncho, the floor for his bed?I realized the families that I saw this nightOwed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to fight.Soon round the world, the children would playAnd grown-ups would celebrate a bright Christmas Day.They all enjoyed freedom each month of the yearBecause of the soldiers, like the one lying hereI couldn’t help wonder how many lay alone,On a Christmas Eve in a land so far from home.The very thought brought a tear to my eye,I dropped to my knees and started to cry.The soldier awakened and I heard a rough voice,“Santa don’t cry. This life is my choice,I fight for freedom, I don’t ask for more.My life is my God, my country, my regiment.”The soldier rolled over and drifted off to sleep,I couldn’t control it, I continued to weep.I kept watch for hours, so silent and stillAnd we both shivered from the cold night’s chill.I didn’t want to leave on that cold dark night.This Guardian of Honor so willing to fight.Then the soldier rolled over, with a voice soft and pure,Whispered, “Carry on Santa, It’s Christmas day, all is secure.”One look at my watch and I knew he was right.Merry Christmas to all..
>>532389221Just like the boomers who larp about confronting racists
>>532387423Why do they all look the same
>>532387140Let me finish that smut off for you:>"sir, I....""If you want to pay me back meet me outside in 5 minutes son. And be ready to do your service to the country"The young man quietly obeyed and waited in the entrance while the older gentleman finished paying.When he seen me walk out he said "S-s-sir what will you have me do" nervously."Boy, you and I will go to my car and you you will do as your told to pay back that steak"
>>532387140Does anyone in the comments call him a fucking liar, or at least make jokes as anons are doing here??
>>532387140>"put his tab on mine" i whispered>the bartender grinned. "You got it">"covered" the bartender pointed at me>the kid turned to me "sir i..."None of this ever happened in real life.
>>532387140>the reward for dying for Israel is that a boomer with infinite printed dollars might decide to buy you a crappy Argentinian steak at some third rate chain restarauntbleak
>>532391429The comment section is mostly blue check marked faggots fellating him for his fake story
>tfw you'll never panic looking at your wallet while steamy juicy steaks are served in front of you and your potato just before you go to die for Israel
>>53239177660% of that website's post aren't made by human beings.......you know that, right?
>>532391776How come most blue checkmark replies are the same thing the OP said, but paraphrased?
>>532387551>have no money >go to a restaurant and buy a potato and side salad for 2x the price of a supermarket steak
>>532387140then after that he sucked his dick
>>532387140Everyone clapped while the illegal mexican dish washers back flipped back to Mexico.
>DATS MAKES ME FEEL GOOD
>>532387423Sir, I...
>>532387140Can I get "things that didn't happen" for 500$ ?
>>532390553'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the shack,Sat a certified good goy with a pack on his back.I came down the chimney with bills in my hand,To see this "defender" of a far distant land.No tree and no tinsel, no joy in the air,Just boots filled with sand and a thousand-yard stare.On the wall hung his medals, all shiny and bright,For winning a "democracy" battle—yeah, right.He lay on the floor on a poncho so thin,A servant of systems he didn’t begin.I looked at the "hero" and had to guffaw,At a man who'd trade life for a global jewish law.He woke with a start and a voice like a drone,"I fight for the interests I’ve never been shown!My life is Israel, the bank, and the state,I’m a cog in the gear, and I think it is great!"He rolled back around to his cold, lonely sleep,While the people he "serves" didn't make a lone peep.I dropped off the bills, interest owedI went back up the chimney, valuables stowedI hopped in my sleigh and I flew out of sight,"Happy Hannukah, zogbot—enjoy the long fight!"
>>532387332kek'dIt really is some retarded anecdote to sell goyim the fable of the army being something honorable
>>532387140The least you can do after voting to send guy to his certain death.
>>532387332>>532387339It's America.Everybody crapped.
>>532387140No one sits at a bar watching their wallet, what a fucking crock of shit. You either do it when you shouldn’t or you just don’t go in the first place.
>>532387140I too go out in my uniform for dindins
>>532387140Paulanergarten
>>532388593>olero energ>holding up the monster with one hand while holding the phone with both hands in the reflectionDo it kek
>>532387551came here to post this
>>532387140That kid then went home and spent $100 on weed and a fat black hooker.
>>532387140>And then they fucked
>>532387519>PATRIOTARDS ASSEMBLE!>READY TO DIE FOR ISRAEL AND NETANYOHOO???>HOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
>>532387423these are bot accounts. picture is ai slop, from some southern state most likely. go to any thomas massie post and theres tons of fake middle aged women with 5-10k followers and checkmarks with the most braindead takes ever. the whole maga shit is atleast half bots at this rate.
>>532387892Based Bebop enjoyer. Just finished my about 15th annual rewatch last night.
>>532387551>have no money>go to local steakhouse >stare at wallet and sigh every could of minutes
Why does lying come so naturally to jews and rightoids?
>>532387140I'm crying and clapping.I'm saluting my screen.The other people on the bus are confused.Thank you for your service.
>>532387332What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
>>532387140And then everybody clapped
>>532387140you intentionally cropped the community note
>>532387140So doing something nice for someone was not enough ?He had to make sure the kid knew and then brag about it online afterReal hero that oneCunt
>>532387423Wow, everyone did clap
>Sir... I... I will gladly die for israel now!
>>532387140It's 2026. How are people still writing this shit
>>532387140With a budget this big, why aren't the zogbots given a big enough salary to buy 10 steaks a week?
Twitter is just 90% US bots
>>532387140>>Sir, I...NOT GAY!
Why is this faggot broke? Military pays for EVERYTHING. The only thing you need money for is doing things off base on your own. Technically you can do your entire enlistment and never spend any money except for haircuts and sundries. Private Studebaker probably blew all his money on cocaine and hookers and now he's grifting free meals out of suckers at Applebee's
>>532387140Gay as fuck, probably gave the kid his tube steak afterwards.
>>532394507They are
>>532387140Major gay porno vibes
>>532387140This is so fucking funny
>>532395010Booze, Strippers, and Dodge Chargers with 30% interest rates don't pay for themselves.
>>532387140I'm sure that TL;DR happened. Totally happened. Not just something he made up.
And then everyone clapped
>>532387140>The kid turned to me. "Sir, I..."Anyone believing this nonsense is a complete moron, kek
>>532391435I have done it for others and I've had it done for me. I didn't post it to any social media though. It happens more than you're Latke ass would know
>>532387140that never fucking happened.
and then a bald eagle named small government flew into the room and said, "Buh-gawk! Die for Israel, goy!" and there wasn't a dry eye in the house
>>532387423wow i did not see that one coming!
>>532392587pretty much this, the tappening is in full motion
>>532387140>bots are now posting left-wing tier 'I saved the day' anecdotesStrap in boys, it's going to be a shitty ride
>>532387140Do boomers really not realize how retarded and fake this is? That nobody will believe this drivel? Or is this a bot like >>532393952 says?
>>532390926I can tell you at the very least the hat is meant to cover up the receding hairline
>>532387140omg, im signing up now
>>532387423>when you're at the lake but the lake is in front of a penthouse balcony in manhattan reflected off your sunglasses
>>532387551>>have no money>>go to a steakhousePoor people are often retards.One guy on my kikebook is constantly begging people for money and whining about how he's broke.One time he said he had $15 left to his name after paying his bills so he got himself mcdonald's.
and then, after all this definitely happened, I tipped the waiter $200 and he said no, sir, I'd rather give it to our greatest ally israel instead
>>532387140Hell yeah! when I get droned in the face for ZOG, I'll be thinking of that juicy steak!
>>532387140Damn I should join the military.I could be eating steak for free all the time.
>>532387519Waaait a second....
>>532388397> geschichten aus Paulanergartenmost accurate description of what is otherwise called boomer-brained tardslop
