Teddy Fadden (ID: rAUmG6/Z)
Shitting Myself Thread 04/09/26(Thu)01:57:58 No.532782959

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Shitting Myself Thread Teddy Fadden (ID: rAUmG6/Z) 04/09/26(Thu)01:57:58 No.532782959

Thought I'd give everyone a quick update on what happened after I shit myself the other day and thought I was smelling farts through my own body.

One important question you may have is how I even managed to shit myself in the first place, when my whole grindset was keeping my ass closed to keep in farts.

Well, I was wondering that myself, until I made a surprising connection I didn't think of before, and the name of that little bombshell is the texas roadhouse blossoming fried onion. namely, they way in which it reacts with chia seeds in the body.

Chia seeds are like edible orbeez; they absorb and swell up into a gel.
which is usually fine but, something about how greasy the flower is, when it gets churned up together with the chia makes it into a froth. AKA into an emulsion that traps a lot of air.
.
get the picture now?

well that stays foamed until it's ready to come out the soft serve tube. and it's so light and airy that it it just sort of infiltrates out and seeps out a small quantity to where you don't even feel it. I'm talking thin film.

Obviously as that builds up, you can end the week with just about a full turd in your pants and not even know it's there.

So yeah I shit myself. I'm proud of myself for turning it into an opportunity to lear about god's riddles and do science. Stink isn't what you have to worry about with shit anyway - it's bacteria .

What even is that gross about shit anyway?
a waste product wow. people eat Vegemite all the time and it's the same thing.

Anyway, I'm in the most optimal place right now where no one could sneak up on me.
i feel like I could snipe anyone in the world from here.
smoking that Glaxo SmithKline pack.
by the way you now remember o-pens.