>>62653
>I *SOMEHOW* managed to post the second part instead. Read this post first, it's out of order!

(Rolled 9)
You could barely get any rest the previous night. Of course, sleep won’t be getting any easier out here in the middle of a cursed jungle, so there’s no point in stalling your descent into the hole. The trio begins their preparations for the trip into the underworld.
---
Jerb is holding a sword and a torch as he paces around the squat structure. He doesn’t look particularly worried, yet it’s hard to say for sure. Understanding his facial expressions is a bit difficult at times, given that he’s a humanoid chimp with all that entails.
Remu is standing next to him, leaning down and holding out her torch into the hole, like she’s prodding the darkness with it. She squints and takes a small step forward, staying right at the edge of the stairs.
“See anything?”
“Nothing,” she sighs. “Though… something smells bad.”
“Sorry,” grunts Jerb.
“No, not you— just come closer. I don’t know how to describe it.”
Both of you approach it, and sure enough. The classic stench rotten egg stench. A cliché when you need something to smell positively demonic.
“Ah, it *was’t* like that before,” you note, voice coming out funny from pinching your nose.
Well, no time like the present to figure out just what the hell is going on down there. Sure, part of you would rather be doing something that directly leads to accomplishing your primary mission.
Then again, you’ve always been the sort of ‘player’ that finishes a bunch of side quests before even touching the main story.
Though you hope the party doesn’t run into those intelligent ape-skin masked constructs any time soon.
You gesture with your axe, pointing it down at the entrance.
“Let’s go, gang. Jerb, take point would ya?”
He does — after you explain what taking point is.
With the torches to light up the path, you can see that the walls inside are made of that same dark stone, but other than that there are no discernible features. No creepy drawings, no mysterious architectonic choices.
Just a bland dark tunnel and the echoing sound of four sets of footsteps.
---
The stairs just keep on going for way too long. It must have been ten minutes of just going down the stairs, and there’s still no end in sight. Not that you can see far ahead.
Really, you’re starting to feel like this is one of those scenes in anime where the studio gives up on the pretense that have a budget to work with, and they just repeat the same piece of shit frame over and over and—
“Woah,” exclaims your chimp companion. You quickly catch up, and likewise you’re stunned.
At the end of the stairway there’s an opening into a large round chamber. The ceiling is high enough that it’s out of sight. The room is also quite wide, with three other paths leading out from it.

>>6265369
>A) Order the two to form up in the middle of the room, we can cover all sides.

>I *SOMEHOW* managed to post the second part instead. Read this post first, it's out of order!
It happens. No sweat.

>>6265369
>C) Go back into the stairs, that way there’s only two directions to cover.
With three of us, it should be virtually impossible for something to sneak up on us.

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>>6265369
>C) Go back into the stairs, that way there’s only two directions to cover.
and to be fair we probably don't need to cover the exit up the stairs...

>>6265370
>>6265369

>C) Go back into the stairs, that way there’s only two directions to cover.

>>6265369
Supa say im fri fra frog

>>6265369
>D

>>6265369
im glad to see the quest survived
remember to protect the pimp hat
>C) Go back into the stairs, that way there’s only two directions to cover.
if nothing else we can use that time to see what our best options are for establishing a base camp

>>6265369
>C) Go back into the stairs, that way there’s only two directions to cover.
I'm glad to see the quest endures, don't sweat the hiatus 「Gorilla」

>>6265422
>>6265555
>>6265571
>>6265829
>>6265858
C takes it!
Now:
>roll d20 best of three.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>6265934

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>6265934

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>6265934

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>>6265950

We aren't trapped in here with them, they are trapped in here with us.

>>6265950
>>6265940
>>6265937
(Rolled 19+2 for AXE Combat)

Jerb reaches you, still grasping at his wound. You don’t have time to check it, so you leave that to Remu. Instead, you circle around, waving your axe and torch to at least ward off any potential follow-up attacks.

While the room is certainly well illuminated in comparison to the absolute darkness of the stairways, it’s by no means ‘bright’. You find yourself squinting by instinct to try and spot the enemy.

“These are claw marks,” said Remu. This implies they hit him at melee range, so they’re not firing some projectile from some elevated opening or one of the dark pathways out of the chamber.

There really isn’t a single hint as to where they might be; even better lighting probably wouldn’t be of much assistance.

But you think you hear something, despite the drumming of your own heartbeat. The sound of steps from up front, where nothing should be according to your lying eyes.

“Invisible?” you mutter. If that wasn’t enough you hear more footsteps echoing around the room.

Right, Imps. Like in J.T.’s book. This is problematic, though certainly not unsurmountable. While you can’t see them coming you can still limit their movement and the directions they can strike from.

“Head up the stairs!” You motion with your torch and let the others move ahead. The duo immediately comply with your command, rushing off.

While their backs are turned, steps echo behind them. The sneaky little fucks are trying to take another shot at your— friends? Minions?

Either way, you swing your axe wildly in the general direction of those sounds. You miss and swing again, a wide and low sweep like you’re trying to cut grass. This time you hit something.
It is small with a face somewhere between a baboon and a gray-skinned devil, and it dies not with a whimper but with a sickening pop and crack.

The imp’s diminutive skull collapses inward from the stone-axe’s impact, eyes leave their orbit and its black tongue flops out. Rather than blood, that same black ichor bursts out, like you just popped a water balloon filled with oil.

You yell, “HEADSHOT!”. Without sparing another thought, you hit it again, this time with your torch. It combusts in a showy flare, turning the corpse into a sizeable fire.

The black blood is highly flammable, so J.T.’s info was spot on about all these constructs.
>[1/?] piecemeal update, follow up tomorrow so you know I didn't just die

>>6266436
>>6266436
>~Imp~ Defeated +1 XP [10/11]
> Axe Combat +1 XP [1/9]

A shriek erupts from the ‘empty’ space near your party members. Despite his injury, Jerb promptly runs his sword through the invisible enemy, silencing its shrill cries in an eruption of black blood.

You run to catch up with them, but you stumble as a weight falls on your back. One of the little fucks leapt on top of you, grasping at your hair, its tiny claws stinging as they scratch at the back of your neck.

The torch falls from your hand, and you reach back. Luckily, you take hold of one of the Imp’s flailing limbs. It tries to bite, but your arm is already swinging. You smash the monster onto the floor, once, twice, thrice— turning it into a mess of broken, exposed bones.

For good measure, your foot stomps down on its chest, caving it and causing the pooling black blood to shower the torch. Sparks spew from it.

“Double Kill.”

>~Imp~ Defeated +1 XP [11/11] Lv. 4  5
>Unarmed Combat +1 [3/5]

Maybe it felt a little bad killing those chimps back then, but these monsters don’t elicit *any* feelings.

You pat the back of your neck and head. The scratches on your neck hurt, but that sneaky attack didn’t cause any noteworthy injuries.
The duo reaches the stairs, and a moment later, so do you. Here there’s only two avenues for the enemy to reach you, and even if they’re small there’s no way they can attack with more than two at a time.

Remu raises her bow and fires randomly. It bounces uselessly off the far wall.

More shrieks resound inside the chamber, and some from back up the stairs. While previously they were likely bidding their time, it seems now they’ve thrown that to the wayside, opting for an all-out assault.

That or more of these little fuckers heard the commotion and came in from the other exits. A bit shaky at the prospect of fighting a ton of invisible enemies, you try to steady your axe by holding it twohanded.

>>6267028
There’s a shimmer by the corpse pyre you lit earlier. Remu’s next arrow flies true this time, striking into an imp and revealing its full form, the arrow sticking out of its belly.
“Nice!”

It rushes your way, and Remu keeps firing. A miss and another hit, into its chest. Despite that, it keeps coming, stumbling like it doesn’t realize it’s dead already.

You make sure to ‘inform’ it with a forceful kick to the sternum once it’s close enough. The imp keels over and convulses on the ground.

You turn to see Remu struggling with an imp, it’s pinning her against the wall and trying to bite into her thighs.

Jerb yelps. He’s on the floor, bent awkwardly on the stairs. Next to him lies a dead imp, its belly slashed open with alien guts spilling out.

There’s no time to ponder the fact that its guts look both organic and machinelike, since on top of your chimp companion there’s an angry and very-much-alive imp, gnawing at his forearm.

And yet, there are more cries from within the chamber.
>Pick one
>A) Trust your mates to defend themselves, focus on the other imps
>B) Help Remu, she’s the weakest at melee
>C) Help Jerb, he’s already hurt and his position is precarious
>D) Write-in

>>6267029
>C) Help Jerb, he’s already hurt and his position is precarious
He needs our help most immediately.

>>6267029
>C) Help Jerb, he’s already hurt and his position is precarious

>>6267029
>C) Help Jerb, he’s already hurt and his position is precarious
He's likely to get eviscerated if we don't intervene immediately, and besides that, he's been a reliable heavy-hitter. Losing him so soon would be a waste.

>>6267029
>B
Only we're allowed to bite Remu's thighs

>>6267029
>help Jerb
he may be a retard but damn it hes our retard and as soon as hes clear we turn to help Remu
also throw the pimp hat like captain america to distract the imp trying to get at our girl

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>>6267098

>>6267107
>>6267050
>>6267045
>>6267036
C it is, give me those d20s

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>6267417

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>6267417
can we make it double action if we roll high enough to throw the pimp hat and try to help Remu?

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>>6267447
oh fuck me

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>6267417

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>>6267450
>>6267447

>>6267447
>>6267450
Poor Jerb. He wasn't just a strong chimp, he was a true friend. If we survive, we should honor him by wearing his skull.

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>>6267447
>>6267450

It's gonna be looking rough very soon.

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>>6267450
>>6267447

>>6266242
Now we're trapped in here with them

>>6267029
(Rolled 1 – Crit Fail)
>Somewhere outside of space, somewhen outside of time.

“Hello, Multiversal Bureau of Causality, this is 佐̴̯̜̳͓̮̆͛͋͗̆d̶͔̟͆̎̓͋̊͗̆͐̑͑͝d̴̹̯̓̉̓̒̆͛̉̓͛ͩ͛̽ speaking, how can I assist you?”

“Hi, it’s Bob. I’ve got an issue with a System being operated by a minor deity’s Hero in some monkey-centric fantasy universe. Unclaimed world, fairness checkups, you know the drill. Well, I was auditing an ongoing Critical situation taking place there. Thing is, it won’t go through with the rules-as-written. Looks like a bug to me. So, you know…”
The angel flapped its wings anxiously as it waited for ‘blabber’ Bob to finish his speech.

“Bob, can you forward the relevant information so I can check it out?”

“Right away, 佐̴̯̜̳͓̮̆͛͋͗̆d̶͔̟͆̎̓͋̊͗̆͐̑͑͝d̴̹̯̓̉̓̒̆͛̉̓͛ͩ͛̽ "

It scrutinized the data as it streamed into its mind. Every eye on its body widened in disbelief at the sheer idiocy of it all. This was a rush job by all accounts.

“Oh. Oh wow, yeah. This is rare but somebody really screwed up. Sucks to be this ‘Dough’ guy but I’m amending the rules, if you get two or more 1s that should override the lower-than-10 condition. Gods, while I’m at it, I’ll try to fix these other bugs… Damn amateurs.”

In that moment, 佐̴̯̜̳͓̮̆͛͋͗̆d̶͔̟͆̎̓͋̊͗̆͐̑͑͝d̴̹̯̓̉̓̒̆͛̉̓͛ͩ͛̽ would’ve sighed had it any mouths. Instead, it vibrated in a low hum of heavenly resignation.
“It’s not my fault, just following ‘regs’, but I guess I’ll send them some gift baskets as an apology.”

>>6268124
>Snap back to reality
A chill ran down my spine and every hair on my body stood on end. I felt like something had messed with my head— or maybe my soul. I couldn’t explain it. The world was different, and I just lacked the means to understand how.

Jerb’s screams brought me back to the moment. His face twisted in anguish as he struggled and failed to push the Imp away; its teeth were buried too deeply into Jerb’s arm.

From behind me, Remu screamed almost drowned the dull thuds of her bow hitting another assailant. There was no way to help both — and worse, more enemies could strike at any moment.

So, I dashed to Jerb’s side. His situation was critical.

I held my axe high, both hands tightly wrapped around its wooden base. Right as I swung my axe, my lucky streak ended.

Feet caught on guts; soles slipped on blood. The insides of that enemy that Jerb had taken down previously littered the stairs, and in my rush, I tripped all over them.
My axe kept going, straight towards the chimp.

His instincts were something else, thankfully. In the nick of time he guarded himself, rolling towards me and using the Imp latched to his arm as a makeshift shield. The stone edge cut right through the monster’s frail neck.

>~Imp~ Defeated +1 XP [1/13]

It went *right through* and it didn’t stop.

Jerb’s screams escalated from guttural into high-pitched. He clutched weakly at his left hand. Well, the remaining half of it.

“Fuck,” I gasped.

I tried to get up but nearly planted my face on the rocky stairs, hands drenched in that oily black blood. As I struggled to get back up, another Imp appeared right behind Jerb. The malicious little shit was grinning.

None of us were wearing any armor, just pelts and tattered clothes. A vulnerability that I had accepted but hadn’t fully understood. At least not until I saw the creature’s fangs drawing blood from the downed chimp’s neck.

That got me over the edge. I pulled Jerb towards me, Imp and all. With one hand steadying him, I jabbed my fingers into the Imp’s eyes. That got it to release its bite; instead, it snapped at me, cutting open my cheek. My grasp slacked just enough for it to bite my pinky clean off.

>>6268125
“MOTHERFUCKER!”
With all the strength I could muster I pried the creature away from Jerb. Driven by pure animal instinct, I pinned it down and bit into the softest part I could find.

As I ripped its belly open with my teeth, the acrid taste of its dark blood poured into my mouth, numbing it.

>~Imp~ Defeated +1 XP [1/13]

I couldn’t rest, I had to get up. It was one disaster after another. I had to check on Remu…

Propped on the cold black stones of the stairway, the smell of something burning suddenly hit me. I glanced down. Someone’s torch had rolled into the spilled blood.

Then it struck me. My hat. My beautiful, feathery hat. My precious pimp trophy. At some point it fell off my head, and now it was—
In Remu’s hands. Singed, but not destroyed. She held it close to her chest, which rose up and down in an unsteady and hurried beat. The creature next to her was dead, and she seemed mostly unharmed, aside from cuts on her thighs.

I heard shrieks moving away from us, deeper into the tunnels. The imps were fleeing. Perhaps afraid of the growing flames; or perhaps afraid of prey that would fight back like this.

The growing heat jolted me back to the moment. No time to dawdle. The fire was rushing our way. I grabbed Jerb and hauled him up the stairs as fast as I could, even as the flames ‘bit’ at us…

--

It had taken some time for the fire to die down. In the meantime, I had ripped what I could from my garments to bandage our wounds. Mostly Jerb’s wounds. He laid unconscious on the ground, wrapped in pelts.

At the bottom of the stairs, Remu sulked. I could tell she was holding back tears. This was likely her first time experiencing a battle going this awry for her side. Well, mine too…

>[Gift Box Received]
>Open?

“Huh?” I clicked the confirmation button.

>System Management:
>Hi, we did an oopsie, here’s something to compensate you.
>x3 Common Loot Boxes
>x1 Uncommon Loot Box

Some twisted compensation for nearly killing the entire party? What’s next, gacha companions if you lose any friends?
Disgusting.
>Pick one or more
>A) Nevertheless, I want to roll those boxes. Try to open them, maybe there’ll be something that can help Jerb out.
>B) That can wait. Check on Remu, she doesn’t seem to be taking it well.
>C) I should check the other tunnels, not too deep, just to see if there’s a safer place where we can rest.
>D) Write-in

>>6268126
>A) Nevertheless, I want to roll those boxes. Try to open them, maybe there’ll be something that can help Jerb out.
If we can mend Jerb, that'll probably help regain Remu's trust ad give her back a sense of security, too.

>>6268126
>A) Nevertheless, I want to roll those boxes. Try to open them, maybe there’ll be something that can help Jerb out.
Rolled so badly we activated the plot armor. Nice.

>>6268126
Ah shit, we've been pulled into a bureaucratic error.
>A) Nevertheless, I want to roll those boxes. Try to open them, maybe there’ll be something that can help Jerb out.
Maybe we'll luck out and get a healing item of some kind. We're down a pinky but Jerb is missing half a hand and bleeding out. Going to have to triage.

>>6268126
>D
Ask the goddess about the boxes
Heh, minor deity

Also that didn't go as bad as expected! Double nat 1, I was sure someone was gonna die. Maybe even 2 someones.

>>6268126
>A) Nevertheless, I want to roll those boxes. Try to open them, maybe there’ll be something that can help Jerb out.

>>6268223
I'll add a proper disclaimer on rolls and criticala later, I didn't want you being punished too harshly this time over something that hadn't been explicitly stated before. Hence the cosmic shitpost at the start.

>>6268124
>>6268125
>>6268126

>B) That can wait. Check on Remu, she doesn’t seem to be taking it well.

Who cares about loot boxes when the real treasure is dying?

>>6268303
Support

>>6268223
We lost a finger and ajerb lost half a hand and is bleeding out, while Remu has shell-shock. It's not great.

>>6268223
I thought we were going to lose the hat. Maybe that will require a triple nat 1 failure...
>>6268126
>A) Nevertheless, I want to roll those boxes. Try to open them, maybe there’ll be something that can help Jerb out.
Hand out loot, praise and head pats.

>>6268359

Incredible name right there.

>>6268260
>>6268161
>>6268159
>>6268134
>>6268791
Alright lads roll me 4d100 will ya

Rolled 65, 43, 35, 85 = 228 (4d100)

>>6269063

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>6269063
1d100 each by 4 anons, right?

Rolled 36, 100, 60 = 196 (3d100)

>>6269069
Oh, maybe not.

>>6269063
Here are my other three, if they're needed.

Rolled 20, 17, 57, 28 = 122 (4d100)

>>6269063
Here we go lads...

>>6269070
Yep, I'll take the 65,21,36 and 20, though I should've worded it properly.
(neither higher nor lower are inherently better)

>>6269063
Customarily to get that kind of roll you’d ask “4 anons each roll 1d100”

>>6269085
No harm, no foul... Except losing that nat 100, lol.

>>6268126
>>6268126
I sat down near Remu. Not right next to her, I was still reticent to talk to her for some reason, but close enough to notice her shaking every so often.

Her injuries looked bad, cuts and bruises. Though none seemed particularly deep, so it was nothing major when compared to what Jerb went through.

Still, I had the gnawing feeling at some point I’d have to help her cope with that traumatic experience.

I glanced back at Jerb. He was out cold, wrapped in pelts. I had done my best to patch up his wounds and stop him from bleeding out, but he was still at risk.

At least, whether due to his natural toughness or just luck, it didn’t look like the bite to his neck had hit anything vital.

My hand brushed against the cold stone floor, and the sharp pain instantly reminded me of my own injuries.

The missing pinky seemed like a warning. That this was real. Not a game. I could really die. I could get others killed.

Gritting my teeth, I opened my System UI. Maybe one of those loot boxes could net us something useful. Hopefully something that could help Jerb heal.

>Level up! 4  5
>Pick 1 Stat to add +1 (Might, Agility, Endurance or Intellect)

“Oh, right.”

That had happened at some point. No pop-up, probably something to do with occurring mid-fight.

Once that was done, I found the loot box window. Sure enough, a mostly empty bland blue grid, the only items within being four cartoonish gift box icons.

I clicked one of the common boxes, opting to leave the best for last.

The air itself parted, split by a glowing seam. Once it had grown sufficiently, a small green gift box simply plopped out of the shining tear in space.

I picked it up, and with that, the box disappeared in a burst of holographic confetti. Instead, I held a small shining black dagger adorned with a stylish engraving of a playing-card Jack.

>Blackjack [Common]: This high-quality dagger will offer advice, as long as you’re nice to it.

“Jesus Christ, this is ridiculous,” I muttered.

Remu eyed me in awe, her mouth agape. Before she could say anything, the dagger spoke.

“Greetings. It is I, Blackjack. I assure you that you’re a very fortunate man for becoming my master. Let’s have a delightful time together, shall we, Dough?”

“I… Ok.” I handed the dagger to Remu, and it promptly started chattering at her.

>>6269528
>>6269528
Two more common boxes to go. I opened the next one. Same thing happened, glowing hole, disappearing box.

Except this time, I held a hideous wooden mask depicting a monkey in a vaguely Japanese style.

>Hideous Ape Mask [Common]: Nobody *wants* to see this ugly thing. Increases your Stealth (+1), severely reduces your social standing while worn.

At least that seemed fairly useful. Though it seems to require the user to be mindful not to wear it at inappropriate times, it doesn’t seem like such an awful drawback.

Next up… a tiny glass vial containing some green glowing liquid.

>Nymph “Nectar” Vial [Common]: Contains 5 drops. Induces a lustful state after ingestion. Do not ingest the full vial, might result in rapid mutation and mild psychosis.

“Seriously? Not a single healing item? Damn it. I should’ve guessed I wasn’t some super lucky Isekai protagonist. So far, this has been a dud.”

I sighed and placed the vial down alongside the mask. “Alright, best for last.”

The air parted again, but this time it was a purple box. Everything else happened the same.

And in my hands I held…

>1911 [Uncommon]: A timeless classic. It comes with a full 8-bullet magazine.

“W-what?”

This would certainly help take down a Gorilla, maybe more. It might even prove useful against things worse than the average Gorilla.

Just eight bullets might seem like an issue, sure. But then again — “What the absolute FUCK is it with these boxes?”

“What is that?” Remu asked. She had come closer at some point. Perhaps having found some relief from talking with the chatty Dagger. I hadn’t really paid any attention to their conversation.

“It’s a gun. It’s like that fire staff, except anyone can use it.” I can tell she’s really interested in it.

“How did you do that, conjure all those things? Did the Goddess help you? Can she…”

Her words drift off as she looks towards Jerb’s limp figure. Now that’s a thought, if only she could be of *some* use.

Before I can give her a proper explanation, a clicking sound echoes from one of the paths within the chamber. Doesn’t sound like the imps, but it could be something worse.

Remu shakily points up the dagger with both hands.

"Not again," she says weakly.

>Pick one or more
>A) Grab our stuff and haul Jerb back up the stairs, maybe if we do it together we can manage!
>B) Ready the newly acquired gun — and dagger, I guess? We’re not going down easy, not anymore.
>C) Put on the mask, get Remu and hide up the stairs. If she stays back and I wear this, maybe we can observe whatever it is from the dark before we decided how to act.
>D) Call out… Maybe it’s just, like, someone who doesn’t want to murder us?
>E) Write-in

>>6269529
>C) Put on the mask, get Remu and hide up the stairs. If she stays back and I wear this, maybe we can observe whatever it is from the dark before we decided how to act.
Let's not waste all our bullets just yet.

>>6269529
Not a bad haul, overall. That 1911 is worth its weight in diamond-crusted platinum. Shame we don't have any actual skill with it.
>C) Put on the mask, get Remu and hide up the stairs. If she stays back and I wear this, maybe we can observe whatever it is from the dark before we decided how to act.
Let's be cautious. We've already lost a pinky, and we could easily lose more.

>>6269529
>C) Put on the mask, get Remu and hide up the stairs. If she stays back and I wear this, maybe we can observe whatever it is from the dark before we decided how to act.

>>6269529
>C) Put on the mask
although long term it probably makes more sense for the party's thief to have the mask.

>>6269529
>A
Shame, at least the boxes yielded tangible items we can ask the goddess about later

>>6269529
>A
>put on the mask and the pimp hat and pretend to be the gorilla pimp returned from the dead its possible that the imps will flee in terror when seeing one of the 100 gorilla lords

>>6269575
>>6269564
>>6269550
>>6269532
alright C it is, can I get d20 best of three?

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>6270641

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>6270641

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>6270641
You got it, boss!

>>6270670
>>6270674
Whew.

>>6270659
Our savior.

>>6269529
>Rolled 16
There was no time for witty remarks or elaborate plans. I slid the mask over my face and pulled its uncomfortably tight straps over the back of my head.

Despite its narrow eyeholes, it didn’t hinder my sight nearly as much as I had expected.

Still, I could notice Remu’s expression turning sour at the sight of it.

While it certainly was a hideous mask, this effect seemed like some sort of enchantment or curse. A reverse-glamour.

“Come on,” I said, as quietly as possible. She opened her mouth to retort, but snapped it shut once the unknown sounds returned.

They seemed closer now, and that realization had probably been enough to convince her to be silent.

I grabbed Remu by the arm and pulled her gently towards the stairs. She looked back worriedly at Jerb’s limp form on the ground yet offered no resistance.

Her legs shook a little with each step, like she was struggling holding herself upright.

Remu was strong, though, she powered through it all while holding her dagger at the ready. Her psychological wellbeing was a concern, but for now she’d have to tough it out.

I motioned for her to head up a little bit further. On the other hand, I crouched by the bottom of the stairs, doing my best to conceal myself in the shadows.

“Wait… whatever it is probably has night vision.”

I had no time to curse my own idiocy for not considering that possibility. All I could do was stay still and hope for the best.

The “best” being that whatever came our way would open itself up by going for the obvious prey that was Jerb rather than paying attention to its surroundings.

My stomach churned at the thought. Or at least I felt like it should.

Jerb lay on the ground, wrapped in pelts. Still breathing, and every so often letting out a pained grunt.

It gave me no pleasure to use him as bait, but we were left with very few options. Carrying him upstairs would’ve been suicide.

Especially when enemies could’ve been up top anyway. Imps did come after us from both sides back during the ambush, after all.

My train of thought got derailed when I heard steps resounding within the rounded chamber.

It was human. Or rather, humanoid most likely. Stout, burly. Masked with something that resembled dried leather that fully covered its face, to the point where it seemed not to have one.

Other than a few bags and pouches it seemed naked. Its dark grey skin resembled the other things we had seen in this cursed jungle. Though something was off about it.

It was hard to see in the dark, but it seemed uneven in coloring. Its texture too seemed wrong, not stony enough.

I had time to analyze it because the figure walked slowly and deliberately. With each step, I heard a click.

Soon I realized the sound came from its tongue. Clicking and snapping at regular intervals. But why?

>>6271501

As the figure approach Jerb, my hand tensed on my newly acquired gun. Finger off the trigger only by the miracle of having browsed /k/ enough times to not be a complete idiot at handling firearms.

It kneeled beside Jerb, back almost fully turned towards us, then pulled the furs slightly to reveal the chimp’s bloodied face. The stranger sighed at the sight.

This close, I could tell it wasn’t holding anything in its hands, but if it could survive inside this place, there was no way it was defenseless.

Plus, there was no way to guarantee there weren’t others around.

I glanced back at Remu. She was gritting her teeth, eyes wide, both hands shakily pointing the dagger ahead.

From her position she couldn’t see what was transpiring, and that must’ve put her further on edge.

When I turned back, something caught my eye. Off towards one of the exits, a shimmer. I waited for a beat, then caught it again. A slight shimmer, closer now.

Imps were sneaking in again. Coming for round two, or were they after this stranger? Either way, they gave no indication that they saw us.

>Pick one or more if applicable
>A) Try to sneak on this stranger and take it down with the axe. Deal with the imps afterwards. No monkey business on my watch.
>B) Wait and see what transpires. Though this endangers Jerb even further, it’s best not to take any more risks.
>C) Maybe I can sneak on these invisible bastards. They seem to be heading towards Jerb and the stranger, makes for an easy kill.
>D) Motion for Remu to follow your lead (combine with other options)
>E) Write-in

>>6269528
Oh and I forgot to mention this because I'm clearly retarded, but you still have one stat point to distribute among
>intellect, might, agility and endurance
which I'll retroactively add.

>>6271505
+1 Intellect, we'll need to be clever to get out of this.

>>6271503
>C/E
As soon as we have clear shot at one of the imps, blow it away, and hopefully startle the thing fondling Jerb in the process. Turn the gun on it next, and do our best Clint Eastwood impression to intimidate.

>>6271503
>C) Maybe I can sneak on these invisible bastards. They seem to be heading towards Jerb and the stranger, makes for an easy kill.
>D) Motion for Remu to follow your lead (combine with other options)

>>6271503
>C
>>6271505
MIGHT

>>6271503
>C
>Intellect

>>6272298
>>6271610
>>6271547
>>6271533
Intellect it is
>20 best of three for C

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>6272907

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>6272907

>>6272907

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>6272961
I'm retarded.

>>6272963
Doesn't matter how smart you are if you stay lucky like that!

>>6272963
>>6271503
I'm finishing the update tomorrow, letting you all know cause I don't want to be radio silent again

>>6274052
>>6271503
The figure hunched over the injured chimp, then reached into one of the pouches strapped to his body while pulling away Jerb’s covers.

It was difficult to tell what he intended to do, but I had more pressing matters to deal with.

Those shimmers in the dark approached the duo from behind. Damned imps were nearly invisible if you didn’t know what to look for.

They were rather silent too, when they weren’t screeching and trying to bite people.

I raised my hand, motioning for Remu to stay put.

While it would’ve been far easier to take down our enemies together, there were upsides to letting her stay hidden. Like not being blindsided if more imps showed up.

Plus, letting her come into harm’s way while she was still reeling from the last battle wouldn’t have felt right.My mind came back to the present challenge of sneaking on those imps.

Regardless of whether it made sense or not, video-game style stealth had served me well in the past, and so I crouched down, with the axe gripped tightly in one hand and my gun pointed down.

I made my way towards the imps. They didn’t halt or change course. Good, they hadn’t immediately spotted me.

Covering the short distance took no time at all. I closed in on them, breath held instinctively, mindful of my steps. Anxious, but in control.

>Stealth +2 XP [2/7]

And with that notification popping up I knew this had been a successful attempt.

My axe came bearing down on one of the monsters, dispelling its invisibility by turning its head into a mess of dark blood and bone splinters.

>~Imp~ Defeated +1 XP [3/13]

One Imp dead the instant my axe struck it.

“Jackpot!” I said as a vicious grin spread over my face, which was still thankfully hidden by the hideous ape mask.

The stranger didn’t even turn around, seemingly unperturbed by the violence going on behind him.

Good, that’d let me focus on the imps, I would deal with him later.

Another imp popped into view. It flipped out, screeched and flailed at me with its tiny claws. Instinct told me to put a bullet in it, but those were precious.

Instead, my foot struck its face, sending it reeling down. I loomed over it.

“You’re tiny! That means you have tiny guts! Rip and tear!”

And so, I did.

>~Imp~ Defeated +1 XP [4/13]

Something moved near the edge of my sight. Another imp had apparently been smart enough not to freak out over me killing his comrades.

Before it could do anything, the stranger’s hands wrapped around the monster’s head and snapped its neck with little effort. With another twist, the Imp’s head popped clean off.

“That’s pretty hardcore,” I muttered to myself, “alright, friend or foe?”

Up close, it became obvious that his skin was covered in some sort of paint. No, not really paint. Dark blood, probably violently extracted from the creatures that inhabit this cursed place.

>>6274417
The stranger dropped the lifeless head and moved his hands up to remove the leather covering his head, revealing…

A chimp. Blind, eyelids shut and scarred — like most of his face, in fact. At some point in his life, he had gotten mauled by someone. Or something.

“Howdy?”

“It’s been a long time since anyone wandered in here. I heard the commotion, heard voices. Had to come and check if…”

His voice trails off. “Anyway. Your companion is injured but I’ve taken care of it.”

For just a second, I feared he had done something to Jerb, but those concerns dissipated once the stranger moved aside.

Jerb was fine. His expression actually looked to be slightly less tense. His wounds were covered in a strange slimy and yellowish goo.

“A healing salve. It’ll take time for him to heal, yet this will soothe his pain and prevent infection.

“You’re very talkative for some blind hermit living in cursed ruins inside a cursed jungle filled with cursed monsters.”

“I spend a lot of time talking to myself… and to the dead,” he said impassively. How quaint and not creepy at all.

I removed my own creepy mask and offered a handshake. Maybe his blindness made him immune to the negative social effects of this thing.

“Anyway, I’m Dough, and you?”

“I used to be called Ham,” he said, ignoring my handshake. Wait, maybe he sees through some kind of echolocation. “So, what led you fools into this jungle?”

“I’m on a quest to kill a bunch of evil gorillas. Though before I complete that I need to learn a lot more about this world and get stronger,” I say with a shrug.

“This place seemed more interesting than a desert or a beach, I suppose.”

The stranger shook his head.

“This place might have more to do with your quest than you believe. I just hope that you haven’t bitten more than you can chew.”

His head nodded towards the stairs. I turned to look. Remu leaned on the wall, dagger still firmly held in hand. She had been watching us without approaching.

“You and your wife should probably take your companion back before things get worse. I doubt you’re ready to face the gorilla that dwells in this place. Or the mistress that commands him.”

Interesting advice, all things considered. Then again, he didn’t know about the system. It could easily make us stronger, if we didn’t fuck up again.

But carrying Jerb around until he recovered would be quite a hassle, regardless of whether we decided to stay or retreat from this area for now.

Maybe, just maybe, we could crash at this Ham fellow’s place. Or at least have him watch over Jerb while we level up.

>>6274418
>Pick one or more
>A) Ask if there’s somewhere safer where we can talk
>B) Ask about this Gorilla and his mistress.
>C) Ask about Ham, why is he living inside these ruins? Why is he blind? Why does he wear the mask? He’s a big guy.
>D) Ask if we can crash at his place until Jerb recovers.
>E) Take his advice and just leave, I’m a big pansy!

>>6274420
>A) Ask if there’s somewhere safer where we can talk

>>6274418
Ah yes us and our wife
>B
Just how outclassed are we here

>>6274420
>D) Ask if we can crash at his place until Jerb recovers.
I like this option, as a mix of A,B,C.
If we can go to his place it will be someplace safe, saves us having to deal with carrying Jerb, and means we can get a lore dump about this guy, the gorilla and everything else.
Then we can decide to XP grind here or go level up someplace else

>>6274420
>A) Ask if there’s somewhere safer where we can talk
Then we can ask all the rest, and even invite him to stay at our village if he'd rather.

File: not good.jpg (73 KB, 347x432)

73 KB JPG

>>6274417
>>6274418
>>6274420

>A

Another isekai'ed man? And this is how he lives? If anything, this is gonna be rather foreboding.

>>6274907
Isekai'd man? I thought he was described as a blind chimp?

>>6274907
>>6274540
>>6274427
A it is!

>>6274420
>A
I gave the blind chimp called Ham a once over.
He seemed strong, as evidenced by his burly build and the fact he had snapped an Imp’s neck with ease. Ham had survived alone within these ruins for who knows how long.
Perhaps being blind had given him an edge. Whether it was echolocation or something else that he relied on, the underground’s poor illumination wouldn’t have posed as much of an issue to him.
That and it was a ‘hard counter’ to any invisible imps attempting to ambush him.
“Hey, now that I stop and think about it, you knew those little shits were creeping up on you, right? You also knew we were watching. That means you were either very confident in taking them out, or you were testing us.”
“Yes.”
“Ok, both then.”
My attention drifted towards the passageways that led out of the dark chamber. At any moment, Imps could surround our group again; or perhaps, if our luck abandoned us, something far worse could decide to pay us a visit.
Jerb, still prone and draped in pelts, grunted something unintelligible and drew me back to our little exchange.
“What do you say we grab our stuff and get out of here? I’m sure you have a safe place where we can chat.”
Ham nodded.
“Follow me when you’re ready,” he said then turned walked away. He didn’t leave, rather he just stood by the edge of the chamber, clicking his tongue. Maybe he’s scouting, in his own strange manner.
I gave Remu a glance and pointed at Jerb.
“Help me carry him, I’ll take the legs,” I said as I moved to grab the chimp’s lower half.
“Ok, Boss,” she whispered. While Remu still seemed shaken, she kept moving despite her own feelings. And she still placed her trust in me.
We lifted Jerb up and trudged towards Ham. He led us out of the chamber and into the same pathway he had come from previously.
Although he didn’t have need for light, he carried a torch to illuminate the path for us, letting us focus on carrying our — unsurprisingly heavy — companion.
It was different from the stairs that had led us down into these ruins. The stones seemed deliberately placed, the walls were neat and flat enough to give the appearance of actual walls rather than a mere tunnel into the earth.
I saw maybe a dozen paths leading down or up, and countless more branching in different directions within the same floor.
Though our group stayed within the same ‘level’, the path had become confusing enough that I no longer felt confident I could find my way back up should the need arise.
And yet we kept going, placing our trust in a random blind hermit chimp we just met. Awesome.
None of us spoke up. Not that there was a lack of things to discuss, but I didn’t want to draw any attention from whatever lurked in these ruins.
Truth be told, horror had never been my favorite genre.
[1/]

>>6277296
-
“Just how big is this place? My arms are getting tired, so I really hope we’re close,” I said, my first words in minutes prompted by regret about past choices in stat allocation.
It hadn’t been long since we set off, but carrying a grown chimp takes a toll.
“We’re here.” He stopped and pointed at a large and oddly fitting stone on the ground a few feet away from us.
“Wow, I complain, and we suddenly arrive. Feels kinda cliché.”
Ham ignored my references to things from my world which he couldn’t have possibly understood and knelt down to lift the loose stone.
He placed the lid aside, revealing a hole leading into absolute dakrness.
“You… want us to jump into that?”
To illustrate that it wasn’t a hole leading into an infinite chasm, he lowered the torch into it. It was in fact a measly five foot drop.
Remu and I lowered Jerb as gently as we could. The chimp whined slightly as we laid him down.
“Sorry buddy.”
I hopped down, back hunched to avoid hitting my head on the hidden path’s low ‘ceiling’. To one side I saw nothing but rock and soil.
On the opposite end, a tunnel.
-
We found ourselves in a small and perfectly square room.
If my spatial reasoning wasn’t completely flawed, this room should be adjacent to the corridor we had been following prior to descending into the tunnel. But there was definitely no way to access it other than the tunnel.
Everything inside, other than the trash gathered over the years by our host, seemed to be made of black stone that composed pretty much this entire dungeon.
Yet, it felt strangely familiar.
There was something that looked like a bed, and which now served as Jerb’s, well, bed.
Something that somewhat resembled a desk, next to which Remu sat while quietly whispering to the talking dagger.
On top of the ‘desk’ there were two big blocks of stone which…
“Is this a computer?” I exclaimed, scratching my chin at the mysterious CRT monitor-shaped rock.
[2/?]

>>6277298
I knocked on it, just to make sure.
“Yep, just a very weirdly shaped rock. Alright, Ham, let’s talk, what the hell is this place?”
Remu had stopped her chat with the dagger and intently watched me. Meanwhile, the blind chimp sifted through his belongings scattered about the room, as if he was looking for something.
“I don’t know, but it doesn’t belong to this world.”
“Yeah no shit, I could tell with the weird robot monsters and the pulsating sand.”
I sighed and sat down next to Remu.
“Ok, my bad, I don’t want to be rude or anything, it’s just that I came into this jungle hoping for Indiana Jones and not H.R. Giger meets Jacob’s Ladder. Could you maybe elaborate a bit more?”
“We came here a long time ago. Our expedition knew of an accursed dungeon, fabled to have grown out of a fallen star. There have been tales of others visiting this place, but we had been informed by a trustworthy source that it still held unimaginably valuable spoils at its core. So, at our liege’s command we came.”
He threw me a bundled piece of cloth. Unfurled, it seemed to be some kind of banner emblazoned with a monkey’s paw holding a bundle of arrows.
“The journey by sea was brutal, but we managed to arrive with most of our forces intact. The jungle itself posed no threat, and neither did the ruins. We were well trained. Well-armed.”
While he spoke, Ham knelt by some sacks tucked away in a corner. From inside he pulled pink and purple mushrooms. Their faint glow was still visible even with the torch illuminating the room.
He bit into them, his expression turning sour before swallowing. He and offered me and Remu those same disgusting-looking shrooms.
She looked at the food with disgust, then glanced at me as if asking for permission, or perhaps order.
But I was already biting into the pink fungus.
“What? They look safe, kinda, even if they taste like a landfill smells. Go on, Ham.”
“Even the ‘tribals’, the masked ones that live in this region, weren’t particularly dangerous to us. Smart, yes. But there’s something missing. A soul, perhaps. Simply donning that mask and painting my skin with cursed blood is enough to fool them into ignoring me.”
“That’s clever, how did you figure that out?”
“Trial and error.”
“I’m guessing that’s how you lost your eyes.”
“No. That’s…”

>>6278025
“Master, that’s rather impolite,” said the dagger Remu held in her hands.
I nearly jumped. Even though I had seen it whispering moments earlier, having it pipe up like that had scared me.
“Jesus Christ. I forgot about you for a second.”
Ham seemed lost in thought. As if he’d be staring off into the distance, if he still had eyes.
“I do not mind. I’ll try to give you the short version. We were successful, finding the ruins’ core. Then you might wonder what claimed all my comrades’ lives… Greed of course,” he said that last bit with a tinge of anger, his sharp teeth flared slightly.
“The mistress of this place promised us a singular wish, but to claim it we needed to win a game. A challenge so simple. All we had to do was be the last man standing.”
He huffs.
“Of course, the game was rigged. The second in command, that vile gorilla had made a deal with the entity. She became his mistress, favoring him from the start. To what end, I never learned.”
“But the game never quite finished,” he says pridefully.
“I’m still standing.”
“That was still a pretty long story you know? You’ve been hiding here for who knows how long trying not to get merked by some possessed Gorilla. Gotcha. Why not just leave?”
“I can’t. I tried, but I get blocked by her magic.”
“Alright, and what exactly is she?”
“A demon, I’m sure.”
>Pick one or more
>A) Ask if he can help you get stronger, perhaps we can help each other
>B) Ask about the mistress, we need more details
>C) Ask about the gorilla, what exactly is he capable of
>D) Ask him what he would wish
>E) Write-in

>>6278027
>B) Ask about the mistress, we need more details
>C) Ask about the gorilla, what exactly is he capable of
Thought we lost ya for a second there, QM.

>>6278027
>B) Ask about the mistress, we need more details
>C) Ask about the gorilla, what exactly is he capable of
Team-up time. Maybe. Chances are we DO need to kill this 'rilla.

>>6278027
>D) Ask him what he would wish
Tell him that we're going to kill that gorilla. What will he wish for when he is the winner?

>B) Ask about the mistress, we need more details
>C) Ask about the gorilla, what exactly is he capable of
Eyes on the prize

>>6278027
“Come *on*, you can’t be serious. You’ll call her a demon and leave it at that? I need more details, Ham.”

The chimp’s brow furrowed.

“You don’t expect to fight them, do you?”

I grinned in response, stood up, then waved the pistol at him, barrel pointed up towards the ceiling and finger carefully placed beside the trigger guard.

“I’m not defenseless you know. Worst case scenario, this little trinket from am interdimensional gacha lootbox can…”

I looked up and scratched my chin, in a mock expression of deep thought.


“…maybe one-shot them. Hopefully.”

“It would be to my benefit if you did defeat them. But a short while back you were getting mauled by imps—”

Remu shifted, her hands wrapped tightly against Blackjack, so much so that if a talking dagger had to breathe, he would’ve been choking.

“We know!” she snapped. “It hasn’t been long since that, no need to remind us…” she continued, in a more collected tone.

I nodded at her, unsure how to feel about her sudden outburst, but not letting her go unacknowledged.

“Even though we’re not the strongest around, we can make it work if we have prep time.”

My hand drifted towards Remo’s shoulder to give her a gentle pat. A gesture slightly stifled by my ¬still lacking confidence when it comes to handling such situations.

“We’ll manage, somehow. That being said, we do need more information before we decide on anything, so, mind sharing whatever you got? On the ‘rilla, and the demon lady.”

Ham seemed frozen for a moment, then he paced back and forth before finally exhaling.

“Fine. There’s nothing to lose,” he said while gesturing at the admittedly gloomy room.

“The gorilla once named Thorn. Prior to his pact he was a remarkable warrior, always wielding his treasured great axe in battle. Afterwards? He became nearly unstoppable. She changed him from the inside, corrupted Thorn into an improved version of her monsters. His blood was black, his skin was tough like granite, and even when pierced in a vital spot he didn’t seem bothered.”

After his massive infodump was finished, the system decided to pop up again.

>GORILLA DISCOVERED: Thorn the Corrupted Gorilla, Ranked #98

“Scary. Still, I think I can work with that. And the demon?”

>>6279509
“Ah yes, her.” he said as if spitting at the thought of her. “Tzeentch.”

“Oh shut the fuck up.”

The chimp seemed surprised at my interjection. He leaned in, head cocked to the side as if eager to learn why I had freaked out.

“Master, what did we talk about rude—"

“Not the time, talking dagger,” I said, glancing around at the room. The eery similarity to a room with a desk, a bed, a computer.

“I think I see what’s going on. Tell me more about this Tzeentch fellow.”

“Well, not much is known about this place, or her. Their origins are a matter of myth. What I can say is that she appears as a woman, but her appearance shifts depending on the observer.”

He flared his teeth slightly, as if failing to suppress his anger.

“I was able glean that information from certain encounters I had with my former comrades, prior to their… passing.”

“And her true form?”

“A relic. Spherical, pitch black, pulsating like a heart at the core of these ruins.”

“Could be worse. Could be a vending machine.”

None of them knew how to reply to that, as observed by the moment of utter silence that followed.

>Pick one or more
>A) Form a plan to take down the gorilla, if he has black blood he probably has the same weakness as the other constructs
>B) Explain that this woman probably comes from my world, so it might be possible to bargain with her.
>C) Ask if the group can sneak into the center of the ruins somehow or wherever it is that Thorn spends his time.
>D) Wait, maybe we should take the time to let Jerb recover and train or hunt in the meantime. Even if we’ll have to live off landfill-shrooms.
>E) Write-in

>>6279510
>B) Explain that this woman probably comes from my world, so it might be possible to bargain with her.
>C) Ask if the group can sneak into the center of the ruins somehow or wherever it is that Thorn spends his time.

Though I guess there's the possibility that she's really the real Tzeentch, or a real demon with a coincidental name like Pimp...

>>6279510
>B) Explain that this woman probably comes from my world, so it might be possible to bargain with her.
>C) Ask if the group can sneak into the center of the ruins somehow or wherever it is that Thorn spends his time.

>>6279510
>B
>D
Skin like granite doesn't bode too well for our plan of one shotting him with a pistol. We'll need something more, might as well look for it while Jerb heals.

>>6279510
>B) Explain that this woman probably comes from my world, so it might be possible to bargain with her.
>D) Wait, maybe we should take the time to let Jerb recover and train or hunt in the meantime. Even if we’ll have to live off landfill-shrooms.

training montage

also the blood is flammable right? maybe we could "harvest" some of the imps and store their blood in... gourds or something. Basically molotovs.

>>6279515
Very tzeentchian

>>6279655
+1 to the molotov idea, too.

>>6279514
>>6279510

>>6279510
i mean how unlikely is it that in the entire multiverse there isnt someone else who came up with the name "Tzeentch"
even so we should assume that they are seeking the same goal we are which is to kill Gorillas and claim this world for her own minor god or godess
E) can we call on our own goddess and ask her if she has any helpful imput? Like if there is any real chance that spherical pitch black relic form is her power or something else or if there really is a "tzeentch" out there in the multiverse?

>>6279655
>>6279590
>>6279909
Alright, it's been a while, so it seems B+D edges it out
Hit me with that
>d20 best of three

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>6280757

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>6280757

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>6280757

>>6280759
>>6280760
>>6280765
We got this!

>>6280766
I am delayed, not dead, by the way.

>>6282009
Good to know. Thanks for the update, Gorilla!

>>6279510
>B+D (rolled 18+2)
I examined my surroundings once more. The talkative dagger that seemed intent on calling me master. Humanoid apes which inhabited this world. Ruins made of some weird black mineral, populated by creepy artificial monsters.
Everything about this world was weird.

Thus, it didn’t bother me in the least to conclude that this ‘demon’ had come from my world, or at least one very similar to mine. Then, she had adopted the persona of a chaos god from Warhammer because they were a massive fucking dork.

It seemed logical. But of course, there were other possibilities to consider.

Such as her just randomly having picked that name, her somehow being the actual Tzeentch, and so many others that simply hadn’t crossed my mind. In a multiverse, anything was possible, really.

“Nah,” I proclaimed, dismissing my own thoughts of other potential backstories for the mystery demon lady.

“I’m going to level with you, this demon lady sounds like she’s from a different world, and while that could be pretty dangerous in itself, it might also mean she’s open to negotiation.”

“I would advise against that, at least for as long as Thorn lives.”

He spoke flatly, almost as if stating mere facts. There was no hint of anger in his tone or posture, he seemed rather unbothered by the idea of negotiating with the demon lady.

“Uh. Noted. Now, speaking of levels…” I said while I opened my system UI.

Level, stats and skills hadn’t grown that much since I left the village. All zeros and a single positive modifier.

“We should work on getting stronger while Jerb recovers. Any chance you can help us hunt around this dungeon, Ham?”

The chimp nodded in response.

I turned to Remu expecting her expression to have soured at the mention of going back into the fray. To my surprise, she smiled. Small, subtle and not very confident.

“You, uh, eager to go out?”

“Not really—” she half-sighed, half-chuckled. Remu spinned the dagger in her hand, a shaky and awkward gesture that she didn’t seem used to. And yet she did it anyway, as if trying to build up her own confidence.

“But I think it’ll be good for me.”

“That dagger is a good therapist huh?”

“What’s a therapist?”

>>6284573
>>6284573
I had traded my stone axe for a steel axe, surprisingly well maintained. Ham had gracefully procured it for me from among the remains of his former comrades.

Of course, I still kept the old one as a spare just in case.

It felt nicer to swing this new weapon around. Particularly as it came crashing down on an imp’s clavicle, breaking its bones like they were twigs.

This was decidedly better, the resulting wounds were much cleaner, even though they were still just torn meat at the end of the day.

“Pretty sure this one didn’t even net me any XP,” I grumbled, watching the dark little creature flop on its face, dead.

I turned to face Remu, who was hanging back with her bow in hand.

“How many was that?”

She shrugged in response. “I don’t know, but they don’t seem that scary anymore.”

“Yeah, it’s been what, a week? Hard to keep track down here. Either way, even if we’re taking our time to avoid anything too dangerous, we still hunted a small village’s worth of these things.”

Ham clicked his tongue and gestured for us to follow him. We moved on to our next targets…

---

“They hunt in small groups, relying on ambushes like all the others of course. Yet theirs are more sophisticated, they will try to lure a group through various means, even kidnapping. They’ll build traps.”

“Right. What else?”

“If you somehow catch one of them off guard and alone, they might pretend to surrender. It’s always a ruse. Don’t fall for it.”

“Noted.”

I turned back to watch the group we had been stalking. The skin-masks crowded around a fire, loitering in eerie silence.

According to Ham, they didn’t really have to do it, no physiological need for heat at all. So why? Lingering instinct from a time when they were something other than monsters? Mimicry designed to fool would-be-victims?

Whatever their true nature was, they died just like any other living being when Remu’s arrows pierced through their necks. Two skin-masks went down in rapid succession.

She had gotten a lot better, with enough kills under her belt to unlock a bunch of skill cues for ‘Quick Shot’.

A very low tier and not a particularly flashy skill which allowed her to fire a short burst of arrows every now and then. It was around the same tier as the ones listed in J.T’s notes.

>>6284576
With my low Might stat, I couldn’t pull off any impressive stunts. Despite that, thanks to those notes I had also unlocked a skill. Cleave, which increased my attack’s penetration – for lack of a better word.

Against unarmored opponents it worked sort of like its D&D counterpart, which made it advantageous against groups of fodder like these.

I rushed from behind cover, ready to engage another duo of enemies. I made a conscious effort to apply the skill; my broad horizontal swing broke through an enemy’s arm and carried on straight into another one’s guts.

Ham made short work of the last skin-mask, snapping its neck effortlessly. He really did seem to enjoy that move.

I waited but no notification came. As expected, Remu and I gained zero XP. We were already pretty much over these sorts of enemies.

Despite that, I felt a smile form on my face as I saw her strut to check on the bodies. She seemed downright confident going into fights now. Surely some trauma remained, but she had coped with it successfully.

Of course, most of the credit belonged to the talking dagger. It was like having a pocket Alfred to give you advice and call you master.

Remu caught me staring. “Something wrong?” she asked, head cocked.

‘Nope’ is what I would’ve answered, if it weren’t for the loud rumbling noise above us.

The ceiling wasn’t about to drop on us, but rocks were falling. I stumbled back, trying to avoid getting bonked over the head by a falling rock.

A shadow dropped from the ceiling. It was large, about the same size as Boss Pimp. It took me a moment to parse it out, but this was likely one of the ogres I had read about.

“Probably attracted by the commotion we had caused in our previous battle. Watch out…”

The hulking monstrosity glared at me. It looked a lot like somebody pulled an imp’s head out and implanted it on a gorilla’s body, which made it extremely uncomfortable to look at.

I raised my axe to fight, certain that it would rush me. Instead, it turned back and chased after Remu.

She yelped and set off in the opposite direction.

I started to chase after them, stopped, ran back and grabbed a fiery stick from the skin-mask’s campfire.

By the time I caught up, Ham had jumped on the ogre’s head. He gouged out one of the monster’s eyes. Yet, it was still pursuing Remu at full speed, caring little for the chimp’s attacks.

Remu closed in on a dead end. At the last minute, she crouched and rolled off to the side.

The ogre crashed onto a wall leaving cracks all over it. Dazed, the beast was wide open.

I jumped in, breathless from running but having no opportunity to stop and recover. I flailed with my axe, chipping off tiny bits of its stony skin.

Remu joined in as we kept up our fruitless attacks.

>>6284577
“This isn’t working!” she yelled.

Ham tried to gouge out its remaining eye, but the ogre pulled him off with a single arm and discarded him like rubbish.

That move caught my eye. How come this thing had such tough and stony skin, but it could still move its limbs? It didn’t look like it was magically flexible, and everything I had hit felt tougher than any normal beast’s hide.

I stared dumbfounded at its joints. The subtle discoloration around the skin folds contrasted with the darker and dry-looking aspect of the rest of its body.

It probably lacked armor right around those points.

The ogre turned its attention back to me, then swung its arm right for my head. It was as thick as my torso and would have ended me had it hit. Thankfully, I parried.

“Remu, hit behind its knees!” I yelled.

I kept my distance, struggling just to stay alive. My axe being the only thing between me and its clawed hands.

I couldn’t see what Remu was doing. Too busy surviving. Still, I knew she had followed through when the ogre yelped and toppled over, almost falling over me.

Black blood poured out from behind its trunk-like legs.

“Nice, and that’s game over, buddy.”

I threw the makeshift torch I had been carrying onto the flammable blood.

A dangerous but necessary idea, in hindsight. The thing caught on fire quickly, its skin started bulging from the knee outwards, with pressure building up.

“Oh shit. Remu, run!” We managed to race a fair distance before the ogre burst like a pressure cooker.

>+3 XP [4/17]

"Nice?"

---

“We’ve made a lot of progress, sure, but I think we’ve hit a plateau,” I announced to the group.

Sure enough, as I glanced at our stat panels, both me and Remu had hit level 7, but our XP was stuck at 0.

That still left me with 2 points to allocate, however.

Jerb was sitting up glaring at a mushroom. The healing salves Ham had applied to his wounds had done wonders. He was nearly fully recovered, despite his constant grumbling about aches.

“And I too grow tired of the fungus. Shrooms for breakfast. Shrooms for lunch. Shrooms for dinner.”

The chimp grunted in a mixture of annoyance and agreement. As a raw meat enthusiast, his mood had been particularly impacted by our new diet.

“I think we should make our move soon…”

>You have 2 points to allocate to stats (Current: Might 0, Agility 0, Endurance 0, Intellect 2)
>Pick one or more
>A) Let’s try to sneak into the dungeon’s core and talk to this ‘Tzeentch’
>B) Let’s try to lure Thorn, it’s a fair bet that he’s got the same vulnerability as that ogre
>C) Actually, one last chat with someone before we commit to a move (who?)
>D) Write-in?

>>6284578
Stuck at 3*.
[4/17]
Damn I should edit this stuff before posting.

>>6284578
>You have 2 points to allocate to stats
1 might, 1 agility.
>B) Let’s try to lure Thorn, it’s a fair bet that he’s got the same vulnerability as that ogre

>>6284578
MIGHT 2

>B
Make sure to have a lot of fire ready

>>6284590
+1 but make sure we have a back up plan such as a place we can meet up if we get separated or this all goes south again

>>6284590
>>6284590
+1

>>6284590
+1

>>6284590
Overwhelming support so, the usual please friends:
>roll d20, best of three

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>6285436

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>6285436

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>6285436

>>6285593
ACK!

File: mfw angy.png (1.49 MB, 1301x1035)

1.49 MB PNG

>>6285581
>>6285593
>>6285606

>>6285740
Truly our past life was a sinful one

>>6285593
okay this one is not on me

>>6285768
we were that guy who introduced AIDS to humans, this is an ironic hell to punish us.

>>6285593
My roll was so bad I killed the QM...

>>6287648
>anon killed a gorilla and thus the good times
RIP Harambe.

>>6285593
“THAT’S MY ASS!”

The anguished yelling startled me awake.

I touched my head. Warm and wet. Blood? My hand was right in front of me, but I couldn’t see it properly.

Everything was dark and blurry.

“Shit, w-what the fuck?” I coughed out. My throat felt clogged with something.

The acrid smell of smoke hit me. It reminded me of stale descriptions written by literary hacks. And, well, explosions.

Wait, that’s right. Explosion.

The gorilla plan, what had happened?

I tried to get up, but a sharp pain in my knee dropped me. Something that wasn’t supposed to be in there grinded against my bones as I tried to move it.

As my sight readjusted, I could barely make out some figures standing further away from me. They were enshrouded by the dark smoke.

Four figures. The battle wasn’t over.

I tried to get up once more…
--
[1/?]

>>6287797
>2 hours prior to that…

I sat on the rocky bed with my legs folded and arms crossed.

Deciding our next course of action took me no time at all. It was rather obvious, really.

But I still made a point of pretending to think about it. My brows furrowed as if deep considering all the possibilities, I even rubbed my chin and nodded or shook my head at some non-existent line of thought.

I coughed to hide a chuckle at the mental image of a thought bubble popping out of my head, containing one of those little toy monkeys clapping a cymbal. Just like in one of those old cartoons.

In the meantime, everyone went back to their own activities, trying to keep themselves busy in the barren and boring ruin safehouse.

Remu practiced tricks with Blackjack the dagger, which in turn quipped and gave advice based on her performance.

Next to me, Jerb chewed on some mushrooms while attempting what I could only surmise was some sort of handstand exercise. Pike push-up maybe? I only browsed /fit/ once in a blue moon.

Finally, Ham just sat there. He breathed in and out. Meditation maybe? Or he was just getting tired of our shit.

Well, now that they were all focusing elsewhere, it was time for me to abruptly ruin that and make an absolute ass out of myself.

“YO!” I yelled.

“Okay, here’s the plan,” I announced calmly, a sudden shift from my previous outburst. The others’ eyes were on me; well, except Ham’s, who instead shifted his head to the side side to listen in.

“Let’s try luring Thorn. We fought that ogre before, and we won. It wasn’t that hard, right? All it took was finding its weak spots.”

Remu and Jerb didn’t say a word. Perhaps they’d grown fully used to following along with my plans.

Ham on the other hand had some thoughts to share.

“Thorn became like those ogres albeit tougher. It makes sense to presume his joints would be unarmored, but that doesn’t solve the issue of getting close enough to damage him. He’s still a savvy warrior, not some mindless beast.”

“That’s a very sophisticated way of saying he isn’t some ‘tard. I’m aware but come on. There’s four of us; how hard can it be to keep him busy?”

The blind chimp didn’t respond. I took it to mean he wasn’t convinced yet.

“And we just need a single hit, that’s it. One hit and he’s a living bomb” I said as I raised a single index finger. “Just the one. Sure, you told me his vitals aren’t where they’re supposed to be, but that won’t matter when he goes BOOM.”

“Fine,” he responded simply.

With his consent it was decided. It took us a few minutes to grab everything we needed.

Torches, weapons, some rope Ham had stashed around which I fashioned into a makeshift holster. And then we set off…
--
[2/?]

File: 9000 hours in ms paint.png (574 KB, 495x690)

574 KB PNG

>>6287798
We had trekked for about an hour towards the site of the ambush. It was an area deeper into the dungeon, close to the core.

On the way to this place, Ham had made sure to point out a couple safe spots where we could meet up again should things go awry. Not that they would, right?

My mind wandered back to the present once Remu spoke up.

“It looks empty, Dough. No sign of any monsters either,” she said.

Remu had climbed on a rock wall and hid among the shadows inside an alcove. From her vantage point high above the ground she could see the whole area.

From up there, her voice was barely loud enough for us to hear. Still, it made sense to avoid yelling, it’d suck if we drew any unwanted attention towards our little group.

According to her description, the place was enormous. I had no way to see it myself but figured from her words that it was about the size of a football field.

Surprisingly, the place was extremely well lit, with rocky pillars shining gloomily all over the place, giving the whole area purplish tinge.

However, the area was also filled with boulders that looked eerily like cars, trucks, trees and buildings. Like a small town turned to stone.

Other than that, there were plenty of stalagmites all over the place. Combined with everything else they significantly reduced visibility from the ground level.

“Stalactite? Stalagmite?” I pondered out loud.

“It’s easy to see in here,” said Jerb, completely ignoring my vocabulary conundrum.

“Sure is.” I turned to ham. “I suppose it makes sense. You said he uses this area a lot, yeah?”

“Indeed. I have observed his mistress releasing critters in this maze for him to hunt.”

“Oh. It does look sort of like a maze. Ambush shouldn’t be hard in place like this”

I gestured at our surroundings with my gun and axe.

“Plenty of places to hide and it looks familiar enough. To me at least. Plus, since we’re close to the entrance it’d be easy enough to retreat, just in case. Ham, you said you were going to lure him here. How exactly?”

“Thorn should be closer to the core of the ruins.”

He pointed down. “I’m going there to confront him, then I’ll retreat here. He won’t shy away from chasing me.”

Ham didn’t give me time to respond. Without hesitation he set off, heading deeper into the maze.

I shrugged.

“Right, off he goes. Remu, stay up there. Jerb, find a spot somewhere opposite from me — no, dude that means over there, like, away from me…”
--
[3/?]

OH SHIT WE'RE BACK

>>6287799
The cramped space beneath one of the car-shaped rocks wasn’t particularly comfortable, but it was a great hiding spot.

It also allowed me to keep my eye on both Remu and Jerb. She was still hiding inside the gap in the rocks high above the subterranean ‘town made of rock’.

Remu waved sheepishly then went back to scanning the vicinity for any signs of movement, her bow at the ready.

Not that arrows would do much of anything to a gorilla with armored skin.

Jerb on the other hand had shimmied into the weirdest hiding place he could find.

A rock shaped like a porta potty with the door half open. Since it was made of dark stone the door was obviously immobile, making it a tight fit.

Since it was well hidden and he had managed to go in and out of it, I had acquiesced to his decision. I hoped I wouldn’t regret that.

I heard a grave noise far from us. Shouting. Then the ground vibrated. Something very large and heavy had toppled over somewhere in this room.

Ham was coming closer and bringing Thorn with him. That or Tzeentch had a goddamn T-Rex in storage somewhere.

“Get ready” I mouthed silently to Jerb. He shook his head.

I showed him my axe and torch. This time he seemed to get the message and responded by readying his sword.

The noises intensified. Shouting. Shit falling.

Soon enough I heard a familiar voice in a strange, unfamiliar tone. The blind chimp seemed to be, uncharacteristically, mocking and goading Thorn.

When they rounded around the corner and came into view, my ass clenched shut.

Thorn wasn’t naked like Ham. Instead, he was garbed in some old and poorly maintained uniform, adorned with armor pieces that seemed more decorative than anything.

Decorative since they looked flimsy when compared to his bare skin. It was like an ogre, but drier and thicker. It was the fucking Thing, straight out of the comic book. Or the shitty movies.

“Fantastic.”

Unconsciously I started grinding my teeth. My plan. At stake, just me and my friends’ lives. Right, no biggie, it was just a superpowered gorilla.
[4/?]

>>6287814
Ham ducked, dodging a basketball-sized fist. Then he picked up speed and monkey vaulted over a rock about half my height.

I expected Thorn to circumvent it, but he just jumped right over it, like he wasn’t hindered by the added weight from his skin.

It suddenly dawned on me that this fucker had taken down countless of Ham’s comrades, all trained soldiers. Maybe I had downplayed his power a little bit.

Ham halted in front of a large wall, close to Jerb’s spot. It was time.

I crawled out of my hiding spot, ready to sneak towards my foe…

But Jerb took it as a sign to attack. He stumbled out of the fake porta potty and threw himself at the gorilla.

“You goddamn idiot that’s not the plan,” I muttered to myself.

His sword strike had all his weight and strength behind it. Yet all it did was bounce off Thorn’s skin, throwing Jerb off balance.

The gorilla grunted in annoyance. “You brought more food, Ham?”

I hurried to reach them. This situation could still be salvaged, if only they kept him busy long enough.

From the corner of my sight, a small light popped up. Remu had lit up her arrow, doused in some imp blood and a piece of cloth.

She tried to keep it hidden behind an outcropping, along with her torch.

Good, she was ready, and with Jerb and Ham to focus on, it was unlikely Thorn would spot her.

So close now. The duo of chimps kept Thorn busy, dodging his attacks, keeping his sights turned away from me.

I breathed in deeply and got up, then dashed with my newfound strength and speed. They had improved enough from piling up stat points that I felt fit for once in my life.

My swing was on point; axe went straight for the back of his knee.

>>6287843
But things weren’t that simple. He was moving, of course, and while he was quite large, the weak spot wasn’t exactly a massive target.

I missed by just a bit, enough to chip on the armor and glance off of him. I couldn’t even tell if I had drawn blood.

Thorn’s body twisted around rapidly, and he swiped at my head with a closed fist. A glancing blow, but it nearly knocked me out.

I stumbled away, trying to give myself a few feet of space so I could recover.

“Dough!”

Remu yelled, giving away her position.

The chimps on the other hand took it as an opportunity. With Thorn’s back turned to him, Ham jumped up and latched to the gorilla’s head much like he had done to the ogre.

A desperate but welcome move, giving me time to get my bearings.

Jerb in the meantime readied his sword for yet another blow.

And it was a massive lucky hit!

The blade went straight through the Gorilla’s left elbow, lopping off that arm cleanly. Black blood momentarily erupted out of it, then abruptly stopped as if he had been designed to survive such injuries.

I wanted to celebrate nonetheless, it was still a major advantage and now we had our chance to blow him up, but the cheers died on my throat.

Remu’s arrows had started flying, she had used quickshot in a hurry, perhaps panicking at me having been injured.

The first arrow, the flaming one went straight for the pooling black blood surrounding the chopped off limb.

The one that was certainly filled with that same, highly flammable black blood.

“Fucking he—”

I leaped away, throwing myself on the ground, but the massive explosion sent me flying a few feet further.

Consciousness slipped…
--

>>6287845
>Now
I was up and walking finally. Well, limping. My axe was still firmly in my grip, somehow my hands had latched to it even while unconscious.

My sight was clearer now too, and the smoke was dissipating.

Ham was hurriedly trying to pull one of Remu’s arrow out of Jerb’s ass. His sword was still in good shape, on the floor nearby.

Both seemed to be covered in cuts and blood. Pieces of rock shrapnel from the explosion had pelted them all over their bodies.

At this range I couldn’t tell if any hits were potentially lethal, but I prayed it wasn’t so.

Next to them stood Remu. Her left eye was swollen shut and her right hand was a bloody mess. In her left hand she held Blackjack the dagger, poised to strike.

The lemur girl was wheezing with each step, but she still moved fast enough to keep her distance from Thorn.

He circled around her, more curious than cautious.

She must’ve leaped down at some point after the explosion and kept him busy ever since, however long that had been. Brave. Surprisingly so.

The sharp pain in my knee returned. I could see the injury properly now. A massive piece of Thorn’s armored skin had ripped straight into my leg.

Maybe it was the adrenaline, but I didn’t feel any pain elsewhere so I assumed I had gotten lucky.

“Lucky, right.”

>Pick one or more
>A) Maybe I can take a potshot at him with the gun. If I aim it just right…
>B) My torch was here somewhere, if we can just shove it in that dried wound of his while he’s busy with her…
>C) Too risky. I’ll close in and try again with the axe. Sure my knee is busted, maybe that will give her another opening.
>D) This is getting dangerous, if we retreat now we still have a chance. Ask for Remu to lead him away while I grab Jerb and Ham and take them to one of the meeting spots.
>E) Maybe I can stall or parlay, ask about Tzeentch.
>F) Write-in

>>6287848
I apologize for any slip ups in advance lol

>>6287848
>E+) Maybe I can stall or parlay, ask about Tzeentch.
Keep him distracted. Give Remu and Blackjack an opening.

>>6287851
Just glad to have you back, OP.

>>6287848
Well, at least no one is dead yet

>B
He hardly even knows we exist, we got in one glancing blow before getting downed by the explosion. We're in a much better sneak attack position than Remu. Try and light up the blood on his arm so we have a bit more time to run before the boom.

File: fantastic.png (592 KB, 1185x775)

592 KB PNG

>>6287848
>B) My torch was here somewhere, if we can just shove it in that dried wound of his while he’s busy with her…


Stalactites hang on TIGHT, Stalagmites grow with might

>>6288676
learned it as 'tite for top, 'gmite for ground.

>>6287848
>B) My torch was here somewhere, if we can just shove it in that dried wound of his while he’s busy with her…
also at this point fuck it, call out to Khorne for help to show up the nerd Tzeentch just in the odd chance it would help us save our waifu

>>6288952
>>6288676
>>6287890
Time for plan
>B
Roll me d20 best of three lads

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>6289300

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>6289300

>>6289469
>>6289519
Not awful, but...

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>6289300
>>6289524
Not if I have anything to say about it!

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>6289300
>>6289524
Watch this nat 20

>>6289556
I am very glad >>6289552 got in ahead of you, at least.

>>6289556
>>6289552
Thank Khorne, Nurgle, or that pink bitch that Tzeetch didnt swap those rolls

>>6289552
The words that came out of my mouth were weak, soft, almost like prayer.

“My torch must be here somewhere…”

If only I could shove it into that damned Gorilla. But I didn’t see it anywhere.

Wishful thinking wouldn’t get me anywhere. I steadied myself and took a few miserable steps forward while I thought through my situation.

Herb and Jam— uh, Jerb and Ham were pretty much fucked. Remu kept Thorn busy, somehow.

As for me? My head hurt. A lot. Might’ve been the grazing punch, might’ve been the explosion, or maybe my head bounced when I threw myself down.

Probably an even mix of all three.

There was also the piece of ‘whatever’ jammed straight in my left knee joint. I suddenly understood why Dr. House popped pills every five seconds whenever he was on screen.

Final situation assessment? Deteriorating fast.

Recommended approach, come up with some bullshit to throw at that Gorilla before it killed or maimed me or my companions. Well, more than he already had.

“Gah! fucking lights,” I spat, like a man who just woke up from a nap with a nice slap to the face.

Something shone way too bright. The torch was off to the corner, laying on the ground, and still lit.

Looking straight at it made me flinch. It hurt enough to make me think I might have a concussion.

I tried to refocus on solving the problem, but my eyes flicked back to the torch — it still hurt. Then I glanced back at Thorn, whose open wound was still visibly wet with black blood.

Right. ‘Grab torch and then just shove it in the damn Gorilla.’

Seems fate had already arranged things for me. Fate and a healthy dose of ADHD.

I ran for the torch. As close to running as one could get with a busted knee, at least.

If I went slow enough, I could count on Thorn to see me as just another injured nuisance that he could deal with later, but dallying could cost Remu’s life. Choice was obvious.

My eyes were glued to the fight the whole way to the torch. Remu was hanging by a thread, clearly tired.

If her wincing was any indication she had gotten injured at some point, perhaps from a haphazard descent, or maybe she got hit while I wasn’t looking.

I picked up the pace.

When I got to the torch, I nearly threw myself at it. No time to waste.

With a twist that made my knee feel like it’d pop right out, I diverted towards Thorn. He wasn’t even paying attention to me, the bastard. Even though I went through all the effort of limp-running right next to him.

He struck at Remu, and she rolled away. Then as a follow-up he threw his lumbering weight at her with a straight kick. Slow and awkward, yet to my surprise it connected.

Unlucky for him, and again to my surprise, she parried with the pointy bit of her dagger. One toe severed, it plopped on the ground with unsatisfying silence.

Thorn growled and readied his fist for another go. She was down on her knees, but I could see her tense, ready to dodge.

But she froze when she saw me.

>>6290552
Thorn too could sense something was off. The gorilla turned his head slightly, giving me a side glance.

I was right behind him, next to his stubby arm. He grimaced, but before he could say anything I hit him with the worst, most cliché piece of shit line I could think of.

“Need a hand?”

Instant my torch connected with his stub, it lit on fire the remaining blood which pooled at the hole in his arm.

Even though circulation had been cut to that joint, that didn’t stop the fire from spreading towards the rest of the arm. The smoke poured out while he grasped at the arm in a panic fit.

Remu rushed towards me. She jerked me away from him and gave me a shoulder to lean on. We raced as fast as we could to the sound of Thorn’s screaming.

Then came the explosion.

“Shit, I should’ve gone with ‘fire in the hole, right? Is there anything that sounds even dumber?”

“Didn’t that boom sound a bit small?” she asked.

“Huh.”
We looked back together, and there he was. The bastard was still alive.

He’d ripped out what remained of his arm, along with his shoulder and Goddess-knows-what-else.

I could see inside his ribcage, it was alien like those other monsters, a mess of H.R Giger wiring and tubes, gelatinous organs shaped like they could be called Kikis and Boubas.

But I saw it. Much loower than his heart should’ve been, somewhere closer to the stomach. A spherical mass that pumped rhythmically. That could only mean one thing.

“I’ll make your skull into a bowl and eat her guts out of it.” He growled. Coming from him, it felt less like a threat and more like a statement.

Still, with half his chest gone, our odds were good.

Though it sucked that Jerb and Ham were mostly out of commission. I checked the spot where they had been. Jerb was still down.

Ham on the other hand was up and about. He had the arrow he’d pulled out of Jerb’s ass in his hands.

Hopefully the explosions hadn’t damaged his echolocation, though given that he managed to sneak behind Thorn, that seemed unlikely.

“I— I’d pray to Khorne but I think that would help this guy instead. So let’s just…”
>Pick one or more if applicable
>A) Distract him alongside Remu. Count on the injured Ham to deliver the final blow.
>B) Distract him alone, let either Remu or Ham try to deliver the final blow.
>C) Spazz your way back to the torch — It’s still on fire and mostly intact right below him — go mano y mano. It’s dangerous but it’d look super cool right?
>D) Screw it, I still have my gun on me. Pew pew to the heart. (You have 8 bullets)
>E) Write-in

>>6290554
>D) Screw it, I still have my gun on me. Pew pew to the heart. (You have 8 bullets)
7 is a luckier number of bullets to have, anyway

>>6290554
He ripped out his own arm? Holy fuck that's hardcore. He's only #98 on the list too, hopefully they don't get more metal the lower you go.

>D
Not the time to hold back resources

>>6290554
>D) Screw it, I still have my gun on me. Pew pew to the heart. (You have 8 bullets)

Assuming that this is a decision for who kills the gorilla and gets the XP?

If not then I think the above choice goes well with the following (surely we've got it's full attention).
>B) Distract him alone, let either Remu or Ham try to deliver the final blow.

>>6290711
>>6290617
>>6290574
Seems like the winrar is D. Odds are on your side, so
>roll d20 best of three

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>6291026

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>6291026
Boom, right in the heart analogue

>>6291026
logistically, how likely are we to be able to call in a favor from our goddess, since you know we're the one trying to help her establish control on this planet? also would getting the tribe to pray to her benefit us in anyway?

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>6291026

>>6291429
Good question, it depends on the context really. She can give you some minor assistance, like information, or actual material help which might require a tradeoff (e.g. magic deal mentioned earlier). More direct/powerful intervention requires a situation that breaks the "rules of engagement". Say, if you found out another god was doing something outside the boundaries of what they're allowed then she can help you more, since it's only "balancing" things out.

>>6291035
17 it is, post tomorrow most likely

>>6290554
The infuriated mutant Gorilla scowled me and his nostrils flared with rage at the one to blame for his sorry state. He stepped closer, slow, weakened, and a threat, nonetheless.

Half his torso was gone and his mangled innards were exposed, a glaring weakness, but he seemed unbothered.

Was he that overconfident, or just stupid?

A surprising calmness washed over my body. Despite having little prior experience, the odds were in my favor at this short a distance and with a target so big.

I unholstered the pistol. My hands were steady and I grasped it just firmly enough to disengage the grip safety.

Even though my heart raced and sweat mixed with blood rolled down my forehead, the sights aligned with my intended target.

In view, Thorn’s lumbering form. More specifically, his beating black heart. I lowered the thumb safety, the last remaining hurdle before taking the shot.

“As Jon Bon Jovi once said…”

My finger gently squeezed the trigger. It wasn’t prompted by thought, just instinct telling me that this was the right moment.

The instant the trigger ceded, a loud boom echoed through the fake town. I flinched, stepping back in shock.

A system UI window popped into view before I could tell whether it’d been a successful attack.

>Boss Thorn the Corrupted Gorilla defeated! +7 XP [7/17]

And that was confirmation enough. We were safe. For now.

“Holy shit, that was WAY louder than games and TV,” I yelled, unable to properly hear my own words over the ringing noise in my ears.

Remu shook her head, brows furrowed and hands over her own atavistic ears.

“What did you do?” she yelled back.

“Boss Dough’s ‘special fire wand’, remember?”

I waved the gun at her, with the barrel pointed safely upwards.


As the initial surprise rapidly faded, Remu rushed to help Jerb. She had nabbed a pouch from Ham’s stash and was dutifully applying as much as she could.

Meanwhile, my attention returned to Thorn.

He was already down. Completely still.

I approached, relaxing at the realization that it was indeed over. The bullet had torn a sizeable hole right through his strange heart.

“Torn. Thorn. Heh.”

>>6293228
My gaze moved upwards to his face. His eyes were vacant, mouth gaping just enough for dark blood to leak out.

Up close I could see the scars from past battles and the injuries caused by the previous explosion. Unlike Pimp, this one hadn’t even had the chance to talk.

Didn’t bother me one bit.

Ham on the other hand seemed conflicted. He stumbled over to Thorn’s corpse, his face a mix of relief and anger.

I could guess that he was glad this was all finally over, and yet he had lost so much and hadn’t even had the chance to finish it on his own. That and he looked as if he’d been run over by a truck.

He knelt, silently.

“Well, that was boring,” said a disembodied female voice.

“Other than you forgetting to finish quoting ‘Shot Through the Heart’, that was a bit endearing.”

It wasn’t hard to discern that like with the goddess, it was being projected right into my head.

“It’s actually ‘You Give Love a Bad Name’. Tzeentch, I presume?”

A shadowy figure popped into view, sitting over Thorn’s lifeless form. It was like a cloud of smoke trying to take human shape.

“Correct. And to whom do I owe the displeasure of losing my source of entertainment?”

>Pick one or more, if applicable
>A) Introduce myself as Dough Fosaux, from Earth.
>B) Introduce myself as Boss Dough, Gorilla Slayer.
>C) Refuse to give a name. Never trust demons, fae and insurance companies.
>D) Ask why/if she’s using a chaos God as an Alias.
>E) Ask why she was keeping Thorn around, that hardly seems entertaining.
>F) Write-in

>>6293229
>F
Alias
Say Boss Dough is short for Dogherty, and our first name is Patrick or w/e
>D
>E

>>6293251
+1

>>6293251
+1 but step between "Tzeentch" and our friends and keep our gun close, we have been through a lot recently and i dont trust this "champion" to not have her own loot box worth of BS

>>6293229
I don't think we want to go around telling people (rival deities?) that we're a Gorilla Slayer. Might get them thinking they want to impede us

>>6294207
Well, she just saw us slay a gorilla.

>>6294219
yeah but we can explain that as simply doing a favor for Ham. As opposed to "we're working for a rival deity and we need to kill 100 gorillas to take over this planet, so please stay out of our way"

But now that Ham won his ~~Squid~~ game, I'd like to know what his wish will be.

>>6294207
>>6294219
I admit I find this exchange rather amusing lol

>>6293251
Seems this takes it, no roll necessary for this one

>>6293229
>>6293229
Even if only slightly, her smoke-like projection flickered randomly through a myriad of different colors. It resembled RGB static from an old TV.

Or something like that. Maybe I was a bit too young to properly recall what it reminded me of.

I stood before her, back straight, shoulders back. Exuding confidence. Or at least trying my best not to show even an ounce of confusion or fear facing an unknown magical being.

Of course, I knew I actually looked like shit. No baths in quite a while, covered in all sorts of dirt and blood. A rather pathetic first impression.

Still, I spoke up.

“Name’s Dough—”

As my thoughts caught up to my mouth, I realized it probably wasn’t very clever to give her my actual name.

“...erty, Patrick” I added quickly.

The two of us waited silently, as if neither knew how to continue the conversation.

Off to one side, Ham kept his eye— ear? He kept his ears on me but didn’t utter a word. Remu on the other hand had finished caring for Jerb and seemed intent on watching the shadowy figure before us.

Maybe it was her tightening her hand around her dagger, but I had the impression she was readying for a fight.

“Patrick Dougherty?”

I cleared my throat and adjusted my non-existent lapel. Theatrical as ever.

Her form drifted again, the smoke’s contours became clearer. She took on a more humanoid shape with each shift.

Although there was no clear indication anywhere on her featureless appearance, I felt that she had raised an eyebrow at me.

“Uh, yes. That’s right.”

Tzeentch rested her chin on her palm.

“Alright then, Patrick. Would you mind telling me why you came all this way just to ruin my fun?”

A proper answer to that would’ve divulged more information about my goals than I felt comfortable. I glanced towards Ham.

It wasn’t likely someone would risk so much just to help a stranger. Even one who had been essential in keeping one of his companions alive.

However, certain fantasy protagonists did that sort of thing all the time. Perhaps genre conventions would save me from further questioning.

“I just felt like helping a ‘brotha’ out. I mean, he saved one of my friends. That and I wanted to see what kind of wish he’d ask for.”

>>6295461
“Really? That’s all? I didn’t peg you for the heroic sort.”

I snickered.

“I’m not into pegging. So, it’s my turn now, why did you pick that name? Chaos god from Warhammer seems a bit too much like copyright infringement. You know GW has had people killed for much less, right?”

She opened her mouth. More specifically, a slit parted right where I’d figured her mouth would be.

“You also made a bunch of replicas of stuff like computers and this whole thing we’re standing in.

I circled the air with my index finger.

“Town replica, cars, trucks. Sure, place’s inhabited by a bunch of fantasy goblin and xenomorph hybrids, but it seems a bit on the nose that you’re not from this world.”

“Well shit. I knew I should’ve picked something else.”

“Isekai?”

“Urgh. Isekai.”

Slowly, and then suddenly, her form coalesced into that of a young woman. Maybe mid-twenties.

Very attractive, unnaturally so, to the point where I figured if she really was just some dork from Earth then this definitely wasn’t her real self.

Then again, for all I knew, she could really be a trickster god just pulling a fast one on me with this whole act.

“Just— Y’know what, just call me Ripley.”

“You really suck at making up names huh?”

“Says Patrick Dougherty.”

“Touché.”

I checked my ape companions for their reactions.

Their expressions were a mix of confusion and apprehension. Ham looked as if he wanted to interact, but perhaps his years in isolation had taught him to be extremely patient.

“To answer your question, I picked that name because it sounded cool and I didn’t have that much time to think up a new one. When these guys showed up…” she said, her thumb pointed back towards Ham.

His brows furrowed and lips parting to reveal his rather sharp teeth, before returning to his mostly calm demeanor.

“…It was my first time in who-knows-how-long interacting with anyone capable of holding an actual conversation.”

>>6295464
“That’s kind of a stupid reason but I get it. I’m gonna need more details, what’s your story?”

“Short and long of it, I’m pretty sure I died. Then something or someone plucked my soul before it could get wherever it was headed. They shoved it into a big black ball full of magic.”

‘Ripley’ put her hand up. Shadows split off from her human figure and spun off into a pitch black orb. I recalled Ham’s explanation regarding her true from.

“You reincarnated as a cursed ball, that’s—"

“That’s not quite right. I didn’t really reincarnate. Not at first. No consciousness. It took me a long time to piece myself back together. I’m pretty sure they just wanted to use me as fuel to spawn my little sweeties.”

“You mean the dungeon monsters.”

She nodded.

“You know, you’re being quite open to me just grilling you for answers.”

“Patrick. Dough, whatever. You’re the first normal person I’ve talked to since I woke up here. Non-ape person, from our world, you know what I mean. Someone who gets what this whole thing is. I’m SO done with playing make believe in a dark cave. ”

Interestingly, that implied she had never met J.T. It could’ve been that he passed through prior to her recovering her consciousness.

“Right, all you had were ugly and stupid magical monsters. But what about Thorn? I can’t see him being great company. Why the death game?”

“I…”

“Don’t fucking say you were bored.”

“I was bored,” she said sheepishly.

I facepalmed. Remu audibly groaned. Ham growled, his fingers were burrowing into Thorn’s exposed side, as if he wanted to tear a piece of the deceased mutant gorilla.

“But that’s not all. I got a little pop up. First time I had seen something like that.”

A system message popped into view. It was filled with gibberish text and numbers. The sudden incomprehensible UI message freaked me out a little, until I realized it was part of Ripley’s projection.

>>6295466

“Instructions. Promised that as a reward I’d get a way out of here… Ah yeah, that. I’m sort of stuck here. Can’t move the core. I tried.”

“Then what about my wish?”

Ripley swiveled in place to face Ham.

He barely contained himself. His fists balled up. The face of a chimp whose life had been wasted on a bullshit version of squid game over a made-up wish.

All because of some stupid side quest and a bored girl.

“I… I mean I’m not a god.”

It looked as if he’d pounce at the shadows.

I tensed, ready to intervene. Not to protect her, she was clearly an intangible hologram. Rather, to protect the old blind chimp from crashing out hard enough to injure himself further.

Then, to everyone’s shock. He let go. Ham collapsed down on the floor, sobbing.

I stepped to his side, uncertainty in my stride. People just kept having emotional breakdowns around me, the person least qualified to handle them.

“All I wanted was to see them again…”

“Who?” I inquired, too terse for my own liking.

He mumbled something between cries. It was too low to hear properly, so I knelt beside him.

“My family.”

I put my arm over his shoulder. Sure, I didn’t have the best relationship with my family, but I understood his pain. Even though I hadn’t given it much thought since I got to this world.

“So many years lost, I would not dare ask for time to turn back, but to see them once more at least…”

At this point Remu too had come to console him, leaving Jerb to rest and recover.

“Our ships must’ve long rotten away. And even if I got to my family, I can’t…”

His furry hands touched to his cheeks, right below his blinded eyes.

“W-well, about that, I-I can fix that!” perked up the mistress of the ruins. Ripley’s image distorted a little as she spoke. She seemed rattled for once.

“You can teleport him to his family and cure his blindness?”

“No. But I can fix his eyes.”

“And why would you do that? Surely you don’t have us believe you’d do it just because he won your fake death game.”

“Well, it wouldn’t cost me anything. Thing is, if we’re going for full disclosure, I got a pop up saying I cleared my mission. Right about when you killed Thorn.”

Oh, that’s just brilliant and not strange or foreboding. At all.

“So you figure I’m your way out of here, that right? And you don’t want to be on my bad side.”

She nodded.

“You know, you’re not at all what I expected,” I muttered. This annoyed me way more than it had any right to.

“Sorry?”

>Pick one or more (if appropriate)
>A) Take the deal, she heals his eyes, and we’ll see about taking her with us
>B) Take the deal, but with full intention of leaving her ass behind
>C) Let Ham decide
>D) Offer Ham to help him find a way back to his homeland, wherever it is
>E) Decline the deal outright, nothing good can come of this
>F) Write-in

>>6295467
>C
Kinda messed up that she held a death game as her first resort to stave off boredom, but at the same time indefinite solitary confinement is one hell of a punishment and also maybe she didn't see the monkeys as more than animals at the time?

>>6295467
>A) Take the deal, she heals his eyes, and we’ll see about taking her with us
She could be a useful maniac. Surely, the goddess will warn us later if she's working for a rival?

>>6295471
>also maybe she didn't see the monkeys as more than animals at the time
We were notably right on board the violence train almost as soon as we got here, too. Deities seem to choose particular sorts of people to isekai to this place...

>>6295464
so she got illusion powers
interesting
at this point we should assume shes the agent of a rival god or goddess
maybe contact our own to see if she has multiple agents in this world or if she has a clue who "Ripley" is working for

>>6295484
i mean if you're picking someone to kill their way to giving you a world to rule over you want someone at least a little unhinged id imagine

>>6295484
Alright but we got evidence that the apes were actually evil pretty quickly
If we had seen Pimp being named something else and acting as a helpful and upstanding member of the community I bet we would have changed our minds.

>>6295495
True, this is exactly my thinking.

>>6295658
Nevertheless, we really took to smashing open the skulls of thinking, speaking beings very quickly. I'm just saying.

>>6295467
>C) Let Ham decide
I'd also like to interrogate Ripley (in a subtle way) about what her overall mission is (is it killing chimps, or hosting death matches, or something else). Is her patron a rival to ours?

Also can we get loot from this location? Does she know of anything cool we could take with us?

Looks like 2 for C one for A for now, and some other points which I'll try to include depending on the final vote (loot, questioning, goddess questions etc)
I'm swamped with work (gotta love bureaucracy!) so I'll likely only manage to write during the weekend again.
>>6295495
>>6296461
A related matter was sort of alluded to in post 25, something like that.
“Earth for instance is controlled by… someone no one wants to mess with. The most we can do there is nab a few ‘stray’ souls headed to—”
I guess it doesn't matter to repost since it's something you already knew

>>6296816
Jesus doesn't love Dough Fosaux: confirmed.

>>6295467
I noticed that Ham wasn’t engrossed in our conversation.

Both in and out of battle he had seemed collected, capable, spry for his age, and certainly not hindered by his disability.

Now, however, his sagging posture and the subtle tears betrayed the truth about Ham. He was just a sad old hermit stuck in a cave, ten years of survival weighing down on him.

Certainly, any memories of his past had been nothing but a burden. There had been no way to leave these dark rocky halls. He had resigned himself to this fate.

Plus, he had just gotten his ass kicked and sprinkled with shrapnel.

And yet, we had given him a shred of hope the moment we walked in here.

Hope that he might attain his wish and recover what belonged to him through the very death game that had essentially ruined his life.

I didn’t bother with shitposting or wit.

“Your choice, Ham.”

Prompted by my words, the aging ape’s sullen expression turned into one of confusion. He once more rubbed the scarred tissue and wrinkles around his blind eyes.

His face flashed through a series of emotions. Doubt, anger and finally careful consideration.

At least that was how I read it. Understanding people wasn’t my strong suit.

“Come on now! It’s a good—” pleaded Ripley’s projection.

A side-eye from me shut her up.

Ham stood and approached. He stepped over the recently deceased Gorilla lying in front of him. With both hands, he grasped for my arm.

“You would make a deal with her?”

“Told you before, you choose. But if you’re asking if I’d have any qualms about using a mass murdering crazy woman’s power to my own benefit?”
I shrugged.

“You gotta do what you gotta do to get what you want.”

The ape let out a long exhale, as if he had been holding his breath this whole time.

A few moments later he spoke up again.

“I’ll take it.”

Ripley jarringly 'teleported' towards us. I flinched. I knew it was just a projection, but it was still damn disturbing.

She smiled wide.

“Then just come to my core. I’ll be waiting…”

>>6300253
-
The group limped along as we headed further into Ripley’s lair.

We had done our best, but other than bandages and whatever nasty powders Ham had stored over the years, there wasn’t much we could’ve done to patch our injuries.

“After this, I’d take a week to rest up. Sound good to you?”

Remu uncharacteristically grunted in agreement.

“That’s very Jerb-like of you,” I replied promptly.

“I-It hurts to talk, Dough.”

“Hurts to talk, pains us to walk, but we shan’t balk. Through these stark tunnels we stalk, to give the dark mistress some c¬—” I paused to consider my options.

“Chalk.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, master” said the talking dagger in Remu’s hands, once again reminding me of its strange presence.

“Look, I’m probably brain damaged from multiple concussions. Not that any of you know what that entails. Anyway, goddess dialogue time!”

We kept walking.

“Goddess!”

Nothing.

I stopped on my tracks.

“Goddess? Hello? Knock-knock!”

“I’m kind of in the middle of something.”

“What could you possibly be doing that’s more important than helping me out?” I pouted.

Silence.

“Oh, you don’t know what could be more important than babysitting you? Well, that previous fumble of yours gave me a lot of paperwork, so, that.”

“What the fuck are you on about?”

“Nothing, it’s above your paygrade. Ok, ask away, I’ll take the chitchat over finishing these reports” she said dejectedly.

“Uh, right. About this chick-turned-ball we’re going down to meet, know anything?”

“Yes.”

“And you going to tell me?”

Her disembodied resounded in my head.

“I don’t know what her deal is, but as I told you, other gods are meddling with this planet. It’s contested. Someone turned her into a dungeon spawn point. Don’t know who, even if I knew I wouldn’t be able to tell you.”

“Wait, spawn point?”

“Ever watch those shows from your world where…”

“Yes, I watched anime. And I played Minecraft.”

“Of course you did, to both of those. Someone took her soul and used it as both a crafting material and an energy source. Somehow, that girl got her mind back, a bit impressive but not the first time it ever happened.”

I nodded along to her explanation.

“So that stuff she grafted to Thorn?”

“Obviously monster parts. Usually, something like this gets a theme based on the source material’s personality. I suppose hers is centered around old horror movies, fantasy monsters and awfully scarce decor. Everything is part of her too, technically, that’s why it seems alive.

Before you ask about her quest, no I don’t know who gave her that quest either, but I’ll investigate… Once I’m done with this bullshit bureaucracy.”

I felt like asking another question, but I somehow knew she had already ‘dropped’ the call.

>>6300258
-
We reached the dungeon’s core. It was a bit different than I’d imagined. Less of a grandiose hall fitting for a boss fight and more of large room filled with piles of rubbish.

“Did Thorn just never clean this place up?”

“Nope.”

I stumbled back.

“First of all, distance. Second, can we get to it before we bleed out?”

“Right. Right. Just come closer to the orb.”

“Don’t try anything funny, alright?”

She rolled her eyes before disappearing.

Ham stumbled towards the dark core wordlessly, likely relying on the sounds of his own footsteps to ‘see’.

I finally got a good look at Ripley’s true form. An orb black enough that it felt like I was staring at a big ball of nothing despite the lights shining within the room.

It seemed a bit too large to carry and looked rooted to the dark stone pillar atop which it rested.

The blind ape stopped right next to it.

“What next, woman?”

“Just, well, touch me.”

He hesitated.

Then, without any fanfare, he raised his hand and tapped the black ball. A swirling mass of dark tendrils of smoke and shadow rose from the orb, engulfing Ham’s head and body.

He writhed and grunted in pain as his body rose up a foot from the ground.

Before my brain could even process what was happening, he dropped down. Changed, fur ashen grey.

“What the fuck did you do?” I demanded. Hand already on my axe.

>>6300259

“What? It looks creepy, but that’s not my fault. I did what I promised.”

Ham turned back towards the group. For the first time, he actually looked at us.

“I see again. I can see! You’re…”

“Weird looking?”

“Indeed. But a sight I’m glad to behold.”

He touched his own body, checking the places where wounds should’ve been.

“I feel recovered as well. Witch, what did you do?”

“I didn’t give you the whole Thorn package, don’t worry. It’s just that all that shrapnel sort of messed you up a lot, inside. Just filled the gaps.”

He gave me a look of consternation.

“I will consider this repayment, not of equal worth, but sufficient.”

Some restitution for what she had done to him.

Not so much for the apes she killed indirectly by instigating this entire death game bullshit, but that was a can of worms I chose to keep rather tightly shut.

And sure, we’d all been in harm’s way due to the creatures she spawned all over the place. Nonetheless, I felt myself smile.

“Yeah, I won’t ask any of you to thank me, just get me out of this fucking place. Please. Dough…”

Ham nodded.

“How are we doing that? Should we even grab it? It doesn’t look like it moves.” asked Remu, keeping her distance from Ripley’s core.

I walked up to it.

“I don’t know maybe I just touch it?”

And so, I did, but nothing happened. Not that I could see.

“Ripley?”

She squealed.

“I got a pop up! I got my quest reward! My way out of here…”

Tendrils erupted from her core. It started shrinking, detaching from the base.

“YES! Yes! I’m going to be free!”

Her projections fluttered all over the place in a hysteric fit.

One of them stood before me, her original human form. It flashed through outfits and ages, as if trying to figure out how exactly she saw herself.

That projection grasped my shoulders with her intangible hands, lightly phasing into my body.

“It’s been so long, it’s been so damn long in here. I’m sorry I did all those things, but it was worth it, I’m finally leaving this godforsaken place!”

The orb emitted a loud, buzzing noise while it morphed. Her smile turned manic.

“I hated it here. I hated the taste of colors in the ash.”

“What?”

“It’s not the summer dad, teach me to ride the monkey,” she slurred out words then picked up speed until she was rapid firing words.

“Go past the round of sand, eight levels deep, white horse, ape ate them...”

Her figure started changing shapes just as rapidly as her words turned nonsensical. Limbs distorted as if they forgot what size and shape they were meant to have. Her features faded.

Freckles were gone, skin tone dulled, her outfits gave way to a blank doll-like body. I looked past her projection, towards the core.

It kept shrinking. While before it had looked much larger than a basketball, now it seemed about the size of a golf ball.

>>6300261
Her blank eyes bled black tears. They stared right into mine for just a moment, briefly lucid.
Mouthless, she spoke:

“Liar.”

Ripley, or what remained of her, vanished. The core before me had turned the size of a marble.
I froze in place, shivering.

Remu spoke up instead.

“Hello?”

She approached cautiously, standing behind me.

Reluctantly, I grabbed the tiny dark marble.

“Ripley?”

She didn’t respond, instead I got a simple system pop-up of my own.

>Void Summoner Orb「Ripley」attuned.

I felt like throwing up. As fucked up as her actions had been, I had no idea what had just happened to her.

“Is this hell?”

-
I sat on a broken tree branch, feeling the warmth of the surface for the first time in days.

Despite having his sight back, Ham’s echolocation worked just fine, and he assured us all the monsters had vanished.

Not just from the dungeon, but from the jungle too.

Right after my stupor had faded we had taken the time to trek back up. On the way to the surface we had grabbed Jerb and nabbed some gear.

At least the others had. I just walked through the motions.

Stunned. That was how I felt. Something about Ripley’s fate gave me an awful churn in my stomach.

I stared intently at the tiny black orb I held in my hand.

“Hey.”

Remu sat next to me, with a worried look on her face. She had been there for a while, but that was the first word she said to me.

“Dough, boss. She was evil, right? It’s, not your fault, but…”

“She had it coming,” I added before she could finish.

But what if I had it coming too.
>Pick one or more
>A) What a fucking downer, stop. Time to cheer up. Wave the black orb until it does *something*
>B) Go check the bag of loot they nabbed, maybe something there will cheer me up
>C) Talk to that dagger Remu carries, maybe it has some advice. It seemed to work for her at least.
>D) Sulk and ponder the orb.
>E) Write-in

>>6300263
>B) Go check the bag of loot they nabbed, maybe something there will cheer me up
no point sulking in front of our minions.
we can figure out the mystery of the orb later (maybe after our goddess can give us more intel on what happened).

>>6300263
>B) Go check the bag of loot they nabbed, maybe something there will cheer me up
We'l figure dour how ro summon her later. For now, we kept our bargain and we have no reason to sulk over this deranged lady.

>>6300263
>B) Go check the bag of loot they nabbed, maybe something there will cheer me up
note to self whoever Ripley's boss was he is a dick
so maybe he is tzeentch
anyways we should look through what we got then start gearing up to head back to the tribe, this has been
well
lets be honest its been a shit expedition in all accounts we almost died on like 3 occasions from crit fails

>>6300258
> a lot of paperwork
She has to do it all herself though? She doesn't have like, angels or other divine servants she can delegate to? Being a god suddenly doesn't seem very appealing.

>>6300263
Jeez, hope we can un-item her somehow
>C
Perhaps another item has a good perspective?

>>6300263
>C) Talk to that dagger Remu carries, maybe it has some advice. It seemed to work for her at least.
I'd like to hear what the talking dagger has to say

>>6300887
>She has to do it all herself though?
It's tough being at the bottom of the divine totem pole, but it's also a matter of regulations being very very strict. You can try asking about it.

>>6300263
>tfw the site doesn't let me reply to you guys
Ok I got what I need, if you guys don't mind I'm mixing B+C because Dough can multitask.
Would you kindly
>roll d100, taking the first three results for loot table

Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>6301523

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>6301523
>You can try asking about it.
No need to pester her about it, but it would be nice to ask the next time conversation arises.

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>6301523
if we roll a nat 1 im ending myself
>>6301729
OHH

>>6301733
Close, but no cigar. You're trapped in here with us, Low Roller!

>>6301734
im giving serious thought to either never rolling in this qst again or having my computer coding blessed by a tech priest

>>6301761
To be fair, in this case rolling low wasn't bad!

>>6300263
“Are you okay?” she said. Her brows furrowed slightly, seemingly concerned.

Cute, but I didn’t need any pity from my party members, even if it came from a cute monkey-girl such as Remu.

I stood up and slapped both of my cheeks with undue intensity.

“That’ll wake me up. Now, don’t worry, I’m not bitch made. It was nothing but a thought-induced stupor.”

She got up and gave me a single confident nod.

“Let’s get back in the Game, ah shit I just lost it.”

Some feelings still stirred within me, but I brushed them aside. For now.

I stared at Remu, who was standing less than a palm from me. She stared straight into my eyes, as if expecting something.

That’s right, she probably noticed I was navel-gazing again.

“Hey, hand me that chattering dagger, will you?”

She stood there for a moment, blinking.

“…Blackjack? Sure, boss,” she finally replied, already pulling the sheathed dagger from her makeshift belt.

“I’ll give it back to you in a bit.”

She nodded and walked off into the woods. Most likely headed to find material to craft more arrows.

Meanwhile, I headed towards our ‘glorious’ loot pile.

It was large, chaotic, and sadly, extremely dull looking.

The group had bothered to haul a significant amount of stuff to the surface, but most of it was either useless garbage or rusted useless garbage.

Squatted down next to the pile, I sifted through it intending to find whatever hidden gems were lying amongst the refuse.

There had to be something.

>>6303363
“What are you doing, master?”

“Oh, nothin’,” I whistled. “Just checking the spoils. And you, what’s good?”

“I’m a dagger, sir. I mostly just stay where I’m placed.”

I raised Blackjack to eye level, though I was unsure where exactly to look while talking to it. Rather than outright ask, I decided to set it back down.

It’s not as if people back on Earth necessarily look at their phones while talking to Siri or whatever crappy AI assistant.

“That sounds boring. Have you considered switching careers?”

“Oh yes, I believe I would truly shine should I ever pursue a career in the performing arts. Theatre is a passion of mine, you see. Macbeth—"

“Where are you going with this? Is the punchline that you’d be a good prop?”

“Most observant, sir.”

Careless as I was, I pinched my finger on some rusted-to-shit sword’s edge.

“Fuck’s sake, hope I don’t get tetanus.”

“Don’t be alarmed, master Dough. I would wager you’ve received the standard ‘isekai’ package which includes a broad immunization against all sorts of infectious diseases.”

“Huh, right, good to know you’re also knowledgeable about that,” I said as I fiercely tossed the rusted scrap somewhere behind me.

The garbage hit the ground right next to where Jerb was resting, eliciting a surprised cry from him. Oops.

I turned back to the mindless task of sifting through garbage. But my mind wandered back to the conversation I was supposed to have.

I knew the dagger had something to do with Remu’s mood improving back in the cave, and I wanted to know what it’d say to me regarding my own issues.

“Anyway, that’s not it. I just wanted to have a chat about everything that’s happened…”

“Of course, and rest assured I shall respect Dagger-Patient confidentiality, not a soul will ever hear a peep of what you say to me, master.”

“Right. So, I admit I felt a bit shocked with that girl glitching out and turning into a pickle.”

“Do you often disguise your thoughts with cynical attempts at humor and references to internet memes?”
“Yes.”

“I shall take note of that.”

>>6303364
We both paused our conversation as I took the time to clean the dust off a particularly well-preserved cuirass. It was adorned with crude metal inlays depicting what appeared to be naked female apes, winged, and endowed with massive.
“Tits. You seeing this?”

I separated the cuirass, placing it into what I now deemed the ‘useful’ pile

“I do not have eyes in the conventional sense, but yes. Now, thinking back to that moment, did you feel horrified at her sudden demise, or perhaps, was it more of a sense of existential unease centered around yourself?”
That second part was spot on.

Sure, there was some slight horror from having witnessed a human death for the first time; other than LiveLeak and certain unspeakable threads that is.

Even though she wasn’t physically a human, her illusions still looked the part enough to make it extremely unpleasant to watch her die. But that’s all it was, just unpleasant. I had bashed heads before, and it didn’t really faze me that much.
More than that, I didn’t even know whether that weirdo had really died or not.

The thing that had truly gotten to me was the sudden realization I’m stuck in some random world where I might get spaghettified or ‘bananized’ by some retarded god’s sudden outburst.

I knew it rationally, even emotionally on some level, but seeing her get erased by a stupid pop-up is what made the penny drop.

At that moment, I realized I had been simply staring at a cracked helmet for a long, long while.

“Second one. I suppose it’s normal, right? I mean, I’m pretty sure I got dropped here, reality rearranged itself, then I saw some chick turn into a marble. The gore is fine, but the idea I’ll roll a 1 on some cosmic dice and get my guts rearranged into ‘fruit by the foot’ bothers me.”

“I understand completely, master. How do you figure I became a dagger?”

“Huh.”

The silence lingered for longer than it had any right to, so I just went back to focusing on the garbage — no, the valuable loot my companions had gathered.

It took me just a short while, fully focused, to conclude that the vast majority of what they had gathered was entirely useless. Other than perhaps as raw material after melting it down.

Despite that, a few items had stood out.

The tit-angel cuirass, which was slightly too big for me with my current level of muscular development. Could gift it to Jerb or Ham, or perhaps just put some more points into Might.

A retractable spyglass which was entirely functional and only *slightly* cracked. I tried zooming in on things, and it most certainly did its job.

I did not zoom in on anyone’s ass.

Finally, a ring adorned with precious gemstones. It looked very valuable, from my limited experience watching pawn shop shows at 2 a.m.