To the east somewhere lies a verdant, pastoral paradise butting up against the last living city in Australia. Plentiful reserves of oil, natural gas, and grid running off nuclear, tidal, and geothermal energy sources. Spared the ravages of ecological and thermonuclear devastation. She stands as the last bastion of freedom and hope for mankind. You are over a thousand miles away from her. Stranded in an isolated and devastated wasteland you stand resolute against the horrors of the fallen world to fight your way to salvation. Warlord run territories, stretches of uninhabitable earth, and worse lie between you and the end of your journey. You are a>Road Warrior: A balanced wastelander trained in the arts of war of the old war. You have superb driving abilities, good combat abilities, and fair technical abilities. You begin play with a signature handheld firearm (sawed off shotgun or High caliber revolver), a Knife of old world make and quality, and the last of the interceptors modded with nitro and an expanded gasoline tank. You also have an ill tempered dog.>Questing Warlord: A vicious and immensely powerful combatant. You have have superb melee abilities too an almost inhuman level, you have good driving abilities, and poor technical abilities. You begin play with a signature melee weapon of diabolical construction (chainsaw sword ((any configuration you desire)), two handed weapon of old world quality, or abnormally gifted unarmed skill), a muscle car/truck with nitro, and a few followers on dirt bikes or secondary muscle car. You are physically adapted to the wasteland and require far less food and water than a normal person.>Black Finger: A skilled engineer and scientist of the old world. You have superb technical ability in both engineering and medical knowledge, you have fair driving abilities, you are a poor melee combatant. You begin play with many custom tools and devices that can be improvised, called upon, or already held within logical considerations (you have mechanics tools and medical tools/supplies), you are armed with a rifle, shotgun, crossbow, pneumatic weapon, pistol, and your vehicle has several deadly customized weapons in it as well. Within reason you can scout and replace spent weapon ammunition to a greater degree than ordinary people. You always have the ability to trade your skills with strangers. Finally, you are yourself a valuable commodity and a prime target for slavers or simply the desperate in need, beware!
>>6278067>Questing WarlordHARK!, COME AND HERE OF THE GLORY OF ORGASMO! KING! OF! THE! WASTES!!!
>>6278067>Road WarriorDoggie
>>6278070>>6278071Suburbia has dried up and gone the way of all the old small towns. The wells have soured or dried up, the crop yields are less each year. And, the old timers have passed away and the young moved on. You are Orgasmo, protector of nothing but sand and soot. Your left hand man is Five Fingers Special, a former rookie Highway patrol man still armed with his service weapon and backed up by a flea ridden German Shepard known as Drag Ass. A few local and semi retarded hoods have stuck it out too scared to leave or too scared of you and Five Fingers to try. They've got a beat up pickup and three dirt bikes. Otherwise, they're armed with with nothing more than knives and bats.One day an old man comes into your local hangout, barely hanging from death's door he tells you of an Eden to the East. The last remaining city in the world. Tragically, he expires leaving you and your mates to decide what to do. You check your provisions>Orgasmo is armed with select one of the following (chainsword, custom melee weapon, master at brawling) and he drives an audacious (Musclecar/Truck)>Five Fingers is armed with a (select from the following) Shotgun/PistolAfter figuring out what you're armed with and driving you head>North to Barter Town to go and get provisions (or, steal them)>Begin East (Right into to the waste lands controlled by the Lord Humongous)>Head South (into the Norther territory of one of the dreaded superstates of the Citadel/Gas Town/Bullet Form tri-kingdom. >Head North East into the desolate dunes where god knows what lingers.
>>6278087>Orgasmo: Brawlmaster (Sounds pretty handy!), Truck (Good utility)>Five: Shotgun>North to Barter Town (Might find work here too to get us established
>>6278092+1Let the legend of King Orgasmo begin
>>6278092>>6278095You head north to Barter Town. As you approach you notice that the greenery that faded in your hometown returns somewhat, and you even spot the occasional signs of free standing water. Much of it is poisoned or radioactive, but Iron Gut one of your mates "volunteers" to taste test for the group. Especially after Five Fingers makes him suck on his shotgun initially scared of losing the last few hairs on his head from radiation poisoning. The water is so pure he only gets violently ill a few times. You, of course partake of the cleanest water, mildly muddy, but otherwise fine dining. Five Fingers and Drag Ass join you in this meal. Your mates content themselves off the stuff that had a mild taste of antifreeze in it.Your war party reaches the peak over looking Barter Town. It's impressive. Running power, livestock, and chromed to the gills patrols every ten minute circle her. Which, means plenty of go juice, too. Truly, you're in heaven. However, the line to get in is long, very long. Days long. And, you're not a patient man. You run hard and fast. Always seeking the next thrill to get your head in and out of. It's time to get things going.>Make a place for you and your mates in line. Personally break a few necks/crush some skull to make a point.>Have Five Fingers make a place for you in line. He empties one of his Shotgun shells into some poor bastard's skull to get people's attention.>Have your mates take care of the problem while you and Five Fingers seek out some good trade deals. Party split, you Five Fingers, and Drag Ass are alone while access is gained by your retarded henchmen. >Wait patiently. This drains a day's worth of water and food, which neither is scare here. It also drain's a day's worth of fuel, which also isn't scarce here. You presently have a week's worth of provisions.>Sneak into town>Wait outside town for a good and fat mark, and follow them out into the wastes.
>>6278108>Make a place for you and your mates in line. Personally break a few necks/crush some skull to make a point.Make way for king shit of fuck mountain pissants
>>6278108>Wait patiently. This drains a day's worth of water and food, which neither is scare here. It also drain's a day's worth of fuel, which also isn't scarce here. You presently have a week's worth of provisions.We can wait. We're strong, if we need more, we'll just take it!
>>6278117Actually, you know what? You're right. We're Orgasmo, not some upjumped courier. I'm switching from >>6278118 to support this.
>>6278119And these dog piss scum of the waste are gonna learn themselves it reaaaaal soon like, hell yeah!
>>6278117>>6278118>>6278119>>6278120You run your truck over several of the people in your way, smashing bones, guts, and reveling in the horrific screams of agony from the survivors. You get out of your truck standing six foot five with hands the size of a bear's claws. And, choose the ugliest and meanest looking bastard you can find then thrown yourself on top of him. Your fist smashes into his face until there's nothing left but pulp. Several of his mates move in on you, but Five Fingers gets you off a quickie from his shotgun and blows the head off of one of the men moving on you. His headless corpse joins the poor bastard you just left in a similar, albeit sorrier state. The crowd parts ways and gives you a wide birth. A warrior from the Barter Town's official guard takes note of you and silent stares. He motions for you to follow him without saying another word. >Follow him. >Ignore him and head into town unchallenged>Stick around and extort some of the belongings out of the men you just defeated. Recruit some more mates while you're at it. Then, follow him.>Stick around and steal everything you can and head out unchallenged. There's enough supplies, parts, and goods to give you roughly a month's supply if you choose to do this, but you get the idea that your welcome won't remain open.>Improvise (your choice) just keep in mind things are tense and whatever you're going to do you should do it quickly, because before long you'll get serious retaliation. (Roughly one big choice or three small choices before shit turns bad).
>>6278125>Write in"Fives! Ya fackin poofter! Get your mangy mutt and the lads and grab all you can carry, King Orgasmo is in high demand here in barter town, har har"Tell our 2nd in command to loot shit from the fight while we follow the guard in utterly confident and brash as a four balled goat, ain't shit in the waste that can bring low royalty like us with such rareified breeding!
>>6278125>>6278128+1 this. Now THIS is Mad MAxxing
>>6278128>>6278130You grunt at Five Fingers and he waves without looking at you, he knows the drill. You hear him order your merry band of tards to get to work looting everything that's not nailed down. Drag Ass breaks rank from Five Fingers and comes following after you, he senses danger, bad sign. You don't care. You brashly follow the guard through a several hallways of and check points of leather clad freakers and wannabe road warriors. Few have the balls to meet your gaze, and none can keep it. Eventually you're brought to a powered lift and find yourself in something you haven't felt in nearly a decade. An air conditioned room. Strange blue lighting fills the room as a fairly functional, but still buzzing sound system plays out distorted saxophone jazz music. You walk up to an alluring negro woman."Well well, lookie at what we have here. If it isn't Genghis Khan reborn. What brings you to my humble town killer?">Ask her who she is and what is this place.>Tell her you're here to conquer all that you see.>Tell her you're here looking for goods and that's it, then you're on your way to Eden in the East. >Tell her you're here for fun, and nothing else.>Don't say a damn thing, just stare at her. >Say whatever you want, but you note the guards around her have guns and they're pointed at you.>Attack the nearest guard to make a point
>>6278128Hell yeah, part ways, profligates, for you are in the presence of the great Orgasmo!
>>6278145"Har, Genghis Khan? I'M the man whose gonna dethrone him as histories greatest shagger! As for what brought my noble personage to your fief, I'm angling to get myself a cut of land to call my kingdom...be a rather shite king without a kingdom. Nah nah before you get your panties in a twist or soaked, I ain't angling for barter town, not sure where I'll root down, but I know I need....things. supplies , muscle, protein for the muscle, guns and bullets, cars, guzzaline, and where better to ger started than barter town...lovely little town you have here, sorry for the mess out front but I needed the scum here to know what I am, so I can comfortably wheel and deal, savy?"
>>6278145>Tell her you're here looking for goods and that's it, then you're on your way to Eden in the East.Let's not get shot yet. At least until we have a guy in a gyrocopter or something
>>6278146>>6278150>>6278151You point at your cock and grab it with your right hand through your pants. "This here is where I come from and where I go to. Fer the ballz. Need everythin' fit fer ah man of my station."She appraises you for a second and then begins, "You've got the balls stranger, that's clear. But, do you have the wit? The knowin'. I can tell you're heading East, and that's fine. But, consider this. Civilization begins and ends with us. Not just out there. And, not just under some people that lucked out in the old world. Do you remember the Old World? It was doing fine, too, until it brought us right to where we're at right now. So, for the balls I'll give you anything you took out front which is by rights mine and I'll even forgive you the gravest law we've got as the man you started with died before Thunder Dome needed to be called upon. However, if you've got the wit to go with your balls I'll give you something that can't find anywhere. Not even in the hollowed halls of Gastown nor the finest taste of the pure crops grown in the Citadel's hanging gardens. You interested?"Either turn her down or hear her out, that's the only way this thing is going to shake out. But, it appears she knows something about the surrounding Warlords. Might not be a bad idea to pump her for information while you can. Just be warned, sticking around will make her assume you're going to hear her out and she doesn't take no very well.>Tell you're leaving>Hear her out>Ask her something about the state of the country, warlords, lands, etc. Ask her if there's anything else of value she can offer you on top of what she's getting at.
>>6278161>Hear her outGame respects game
>>6278161>Hear her outTake it with a grain of salt though.
>>6278166>>6278167She walks over to an oldschool projector and flicks on a light, the fan buzzes to life and a cellophane projection greets you on the wall. A fairly extensive map of Australia from coast to coast is displayed with various warlords and their territories put on full display, including Eden. You've never seen a map this valuable before. With it you could safely navigate all the way to Eden or run any crew to full strength in no time. Drawn on the map is a single highlighted road. "See this here Stranger? I need your cock and your balls to penetrate every single thing that's blocking this road for me. Kill, loot, and torch everyone and everything on it. From here to Eden. And, I'll give you whatever I can spare for your expedition. Heavy weapons, fuel. and food. Even choice of our slave pits for specialist work. Plus. full use of Barter town as launching point and fall back position. She holds out her hand. Have we got a deal?>Agree>Turn her down>Attack the closest guard and make your mistake>Motion for Drag Ass to attack a nearby guard and go for another one yourself to escape. >Lunge for her to take her hostage.
>>6278173>AgreePretty good deal.
>>6278173>Agree"Clever Lil bird ain't cha? Looks to me like you've given Orgasmo a nice long road to plow, for both our benefit, ya got a deal"
>>6278173>AgreeThat's a good deal, yeah, we're up for it.
>>6278173>>Agree
>>6278175>>6278176>>6278181>>6278186You both spit into your hands and shake on the deal. You're given an "estate," in Barter Town as you prepare your war party. It's a warehouse apartment with a garage underneath. Five Fingers and Drag Ass join you in the air conditioned pad as you both drink the purified water and eat fresh, untainted meat and fruit. You enjoy a level of luxury undreamed of by most in the Wasteland.Queenie has gotten you the best black finger in Barter Town to help you out. A man on lone from the mysterious master of the Underworld Master Blaster. He arms your war chariot, Five Fingers Interceptor, and produces a lesser fleet for you new war band of hundred strong mercenaries (25, war machines, 4 men per car/truck and enough bikes to outfit a dozen scouts) along with a fuel tanker. As much as Queenie is putting up for her end of the deal it means your opposition will be even stronger and more deadly. Using Queenies map you look at the route and chart out the greatest threats along an ancient and still somewhat preserved highway cutting across the breath of Australia. The route takes you through and up against the big three Gas Town, Bullet Farm, and Citadel. Through the widest ranging Warlord's territory famed for his fighting men (Humungous), and even brings you in contact with the mysterious and deadly prince of the great northern tribes rumored to be able to kill a man from any range using a sharpened boomerang. Finally, there's Eden itself. Rumored to be armed with a fully functional Old World force. That means tanks, com-pu-tors, and long range screamers that catch the wind. Assuming you've got the balls to take them on. There's also rumors of a mysterious drifter that kills any sod stupid enough to cross the wrong sort. They say he keeps death in his pocket. Still, you can always break the deal if you so choose. Or, just take over the damn town for yourself. But, then that leaves you facing bot Queenie and Master Blaster.>Commit yourself to the deal.>Move to take over Barter Town.>Break the deal and head elsewhere with your war party.>Approach the plan not following the direct route, but choosing to cut around territorial hazards or seek alliances with others. Think hard on this one as it's not a bad idea to make some friends. (Will continue this quest tomorrow, going to bed, has turned out better than I thought it would, so will be finishing it.)
>>6278195>CommitWeAreOrgasmo, king of the Wastes. We need to scrap with all the big boys to male that epithet stick
>>6278195>>Approach the plan not following the direct route, but choosing to cut around territorial hazards or seek alliances with others. Think hard on this one as it's not a bad idea to make some friends.
>>6278195>>Commit yourself to the deal.ORGASMO WILL BRING WOE AND RUIN TO ALL WHO CROSS HIS PATH
>>6278195>Commit yourself to the deal.Let the wasteland learn to FEAR the great Orgasmo!
>Hybrid Commit/Approach>Request an Abo & a Chinaman for Translators in case we run into any others of their ilk on the way>Ask for a Box of Grenades, having them test one you choose at random out of it for you to be sure they aren't inert, as well as an FAL/L1A1/SLR with plenty of mags & bullets>Raid any choice spots to the West, gathering up more mates, gear, etc. Then we can refuel/resupply here at Barter Town per the deal, before moving on to deal with whoever we come across on the Highway>Pick our Battles/Diplomacy CarefullyLove to see a Qst in this setting. Is the Black Finger kept on retainer at Barter Town or brought along with us for repairs?
>>6278595He's Master Blaster's underworld power man, they can't afford to spare him. There are several "lesser" road warriors given over to you that can do basic repairs on their own vehicles. Basically, if you "expend" your vehicles on orders, fuck ups, or whatever you can expect that you'll get a third of the losses recovered if you allow for the time (spend food, water, and allow for a day to go by of downtime). This is by Orgasmo's reckoning and he's too proud to ask for specifics in case that his reckonin' is wrong. Clever consultation of Five Finger may improve your technical operation without lowering yourself in the view of your mates.>>6278202>>6278204>>6278228>>6278366You have committed yourself to the deal and have declared total war upon all who would defy your war party. Thinking a less direct rout is of tactical importance you decide to target the "weakest," opponents first. By Five Fingers reckoning and makin' sure he hasn't been slack. He gives you the lay of the land best as the map tells. The Norther Tribe is out of the way, but peaceful and honorable. If you were to do them some solids they would return the sign of friendship assuming your noble character proceeded your reputation. By this he means don't brutally torture, rape, and murder your opponents in their territory. Kill clean and by necessity only. Otherwise, as an opponents they're the most poorly armed. But, highly populous and very well fed. Their territory has few industrial resources meaning you'll need a supply line to maintain fuel or you'll be out leggin' it. Man to man they're very physically strong. Not so much in guns or fuel based weapons, however.Your next choice is the unaffiliated but allied tribes of the Lord Humongous wasteland. They exist by the hunt, and only the hunt. Their bases are small, the land they live in is desolate, but not without water or game. However, their drivers and man to man road warriors are supreme killers. Also, they're very pragmatic and do not follow any strange cults, meaning they'll attack you tactically with no "glory hounds." Expect small but fierce and frequent engagements. Allying with them in any meaningful way is next to impossible. Subjugation by enslavement, rape, and torture would be sufficient to secure the route like Queenie wants.The last choice is to take on the mysterious underworld residents of the dunes. Sometimes called Buzzards, sometimes called Ravens. They're a vicious and insane cult that worships rusting metal and prays to strange gods of the night. They also practice human sacrifice and cannibalism. Extermination is the only option for them. Who do you go after and how are you going to go about it? Name the group and then specify your tactics. Either agree or add additional orders that don't contradict with earlier poster consensus. Quest over is possible as is lesser success and outcomes. Your "stats" can be seen in the last few posts of mine.
>>6278660>Aim for the Buzzards, wiping out those Psycho crazies will boost our rep among even the softer wasters>Lure them out with Slaves dressed up as easy targets, draw them into ambushes, and bleed the man eaters dry and break them down and get them on the run. Chase them to their dens, pen them in, and then start some fires and let the smoke do the rest.
>>6278660+1 to this. Freaky-ass underground dwelling bastards
>>6278664Smart thinking, +1
>>6278688I'm >>6278366, I don't know why my IP changes so much
>>6278664+1
>>6278664>>6278677>>6278688>>6278689>>6278726Five Fingers rolls up the map and nods approvingly. Rare for him to give you genuine praise for an act of intellectual insight, despite being loyal to you as your own pecker he isn't a kiss ass by any means. "Listen up mates I've got me ah decisive strategy!" you bellow to your war party out in the crowded market place of Barter Town. "We're goin' to be bringin' ah gift to those Ravens that like to flock 'round our stragglers in the middle o' night to cut their gizzards for ah late snack!" The crowd catches you're not so subtle implications of violence and roars in approval, even some of the stragglers in from out of town for a quick poke nod their heads in approval. Nobody likes the Buzzards.Your party sets out with several dozen slaves strapped to the front of your war wagons. Some of the finest women and men Queenie could spare you from the markets for bait. Master Blaster's black fingers has rigged up some remote detonated suicide vests for the most disposable ones that you leave out for the Buzzards, and you've brought plenty of supplies fur burying your cars in the sand so they can attack the raiders as they emerge by surprise. And, you've also got yourself some first rate napalm for a nice little cook out you'll be having in their underworld domain.Bypassing hazards and needing to look after the slaves costs you extra fuel, food, and resource causing you to deplete your supplies at an accelerated rate and also the sneaky path you take is a long route costing you additional time, too. By the time you arrive at the Buzzards main scavenging grounds (about half way long the highway route that Queenie wants cleared) you've used up a third of your resources. You can remain here and safely return to Barter Town for resupply within half a moon. Roughly two weeks. Best to make it count. Now, where to set the ambush and begin your barbecue? Because, killin' times here.>Seed the territory with several unmarked and non booby trapped slaves (will take half a week's time)>Set up an obvious trap that very night using all of your tools and resources, make a semi decent effort to make it look like a caravan lost its way and broke down (takes the entire day to set up, and night to wait for attack, can be left out in the open as long as you have the resources and patience to commit to the plan, one day to two weeks, commentator's choice)>Split up your war party and have them dangle the bait out in the open, give each car a flare to call in for help when attacked. Same as option two in time, all about commitment, however will burn through resources at double the rate and can only be done for one week before you'll have to retreat).>Completely hide, wait, and listen. Track your prey like the dingo at night. Commit to plan as long as you want, because of low activity you only burn a third of your resources, can actually go on longer than two weeks if you want! Might not take that long.
>>6278750>>Seed the territory with several unmarked and non booby trapped slaves (will take half a week's time)
>>6278750>Seed the territory with several unmarked and non booby trapped slaves (will take half a week's time)Orgasmo's patented edging technique
+1, the specifics could have room for improvement, but the strategy is sound.
>>6278750>Seed the territory with several unmarked and non booby trapped slaves (will take half a week's time)Buzzards are just that: shitty little opportunists. But we's is a thinkerin' type
>>6278896>>6278873>>6278757>>6278756You seed the old and dying slaves out in a few obvious sand traps along the dunes. You plan for five days, but get nibbles the first and second night. On the third you hit pay dirt, literally in this case. The slaves are seemingly consumed by the earth and tire tracks leading nowhere are found by your scouts the following day. You excavate around where the tracks vanished and find the entrance to a vast and labyrinthine train network. Something the military must have built towards the end to transport supplies even in the face of nuclear armageddon. Five Fingers says he remembers hearing rumors of underground development out near the east coast before the big one went up. You grunt, not really caring. Before the fall you weren't Orgasmo you were... The thought escapes you as you prepare to enter the under world. The fuel sprayers, explosives, and war party are all prepared. With a roar you scream into the air and lead the charge into the blackness.It takes the better part of a day to completely sabotage the Buzzards layer. You can feel their eyes on you at all times, too scared and intimated to challenge you directly, the cowards they are. But, that doesn't sit right with you. You think hard on it. Kill them all now, or wait, and do it proper.>You can wait for them to gather their balls and confront you in a right and proper duel with their lives on the line>You can destroy their tunnels and drive them out of the territory now, but some will escape with their lives. Possibly their Top Dogs. Something you don't want to happen. You want blood.>Try and bait them out, send your hunters into drag out some hostages to torture to bring the rest running. >Publicly mock them and propose a contest. Winner takes all.
>>6279174>Try and bait them out, send your hunters into drag out some hostages to torture to bring the rest running.Get their lads, and like theyre a bad horse, de-man them before a nice big bonfire
>>6279175You send out your scouts into the winding underground tunnels and they bring back two of the Buzzards. You take out a long knife and castrate one of the bastards and feed his testicles to the other one. "Heard you like eatin' people. Here, have the Orgasmo special, courtesy of the top cook." You compliment the meal by cutting his throat and calling out their war boss as a coward. Suddenly, a strange noise erupts from the darkness and you hear the sound of an impressive war rig approaching you. Blue light from burning exhaust fills the tunnel and a savage looking truck fit only for the lord of the underworld himself appears just outside your encampment. He howls with rage and jumps down pointing a finger at you. You smile seeing your prey.>Charge him immediately.>Order your men to attack, including Five Fingers and Drag Ass>Order your men to surround the two of you and not to interfere>Tell your men to set the place on fire and to retreat, job's done>Tell your men to set the place on fire and go after the lord of the underworld.
>>6279221>Order your men to surround the two of you and not to interfereORGASMO, THE BUZZARD BOLLOCKER AND KING OF THE WASTE NEVER RUNS FROM A GOOD SCRAP!!
>>6279226You order your men to surround the both of you for a proper duel. The cars rev to life and tunnel is flooded by the headlights of your war party as it encircles you and the lord of the underworld. Five Fingers grabs hold of Drag Asses' collar and holds him back from charging your opponent. Your makeshift arena becomes a glowing bastion of death in the gloom of the old tunnel system. Smoke floods out of the engine blocks and reflects back the light from the headlights creating a scene out of hell.You and the Lord of the Underworld square up. He wields a makeshift axe, his face and eyes are protected from the smoke and light by a gas mask and thermal goggles. You don't have such fancy protection, so you make do with a bandanna tied over your mouth and nose. Your men holler and howl, screaming for blood. You don't hear any of it. focused only on gutting your opponent. A strange tribal chant flows from the Buzzards watching from the darkness. Praying for their false god to end your life and feed on your soul.He raises up his axe and brings it down hurtling towards your head.>Attempt to catch it>Dodge out of the way>Break the momentum of his attack with a shoulder rush into his swing>Go low for the family jewels
>>6279229>Go low for the family jewelsTHE BOLLOCKS ARE THE BUZZARDS' WEAKPOINT. STRIKE FOR MASSIVE DAMAGE
>>6279232You go low avoiding the bite of his axe and bring your fist into a full uppercut into his balls. He screams, but raises his axe up for another swing. You punch again, and again, and again. Pulverizing his crotch with repeated uppercuts to the nuts. He falls back unable to withstand the violent assault. He's tough, though. He roars and charges at you with a mid swing aiming squarely for your chest. His momentum and aim have blocked another low blow, but you've tasted his blood and know he's mortal.>Dodge backwards>Dodge into the swing>Dodge away from the swing>Make an effort to grab his axe>Throw a brick at him>Improvise
>>6279240>>Improvise>Dodge towards the fire, to hide our thermal signature from his goggles, Distract with a brick toss, then lunge and try to grab and break one of his wrists to weaken his swing
>>6279240>ImproviseAre we not the great Orgasmo? Does our carnal genius in sowing carnage not delight the wastelands?
>>6279241Brilliant, +1.
>>6279241>>6279242>>6279243You doge in front of the fires from your men and the thermal signature blinds him. Losing sight of you briefly gives you a chance to pick up a brick and throw it at him. It goes wild and smashes right into his arm causing him to drop his axe. You quickly follow through in the same momentum of the throw you lunge forward and grab his wrist into a lock, he struggles against you, but fails to overcome the strength of Orgasmo, and you feel not just his wrist, but his whole snap from the pressure. Swelling with pride and victory you throw him down and wave to your men giving him a chance to pick up his axe and come at you again, but you were prepared. He swings wildly with his off hand badly missing you and causing the axe to fly over your mates. You raise both your arms up to finish him, but a sudden explosion erupts from behind your makeshift arena. The axe crashed into a pool of the gasoline your boys sprayed earlier and set it on fire. The tunnels are about to go and you don't have much time to escape. The lord of the underworld run away from you and dives over the hood of one of the cars and makes for his ride. One of your mates tries to stop him, and ends up killed by the underworld lord's still good remaining arm. He shouldn't have underestimated him on account of your brutal demonstration, few can match the power of Orgasmo!He gets in his war rig and brings it to life, then takes off into the deep gloom of the tunnel. Meanwhile the fire continues to spread. Five Fingers bellows out orders to retreat and Drag Ass comes running up to you, biting at your hand desperately pulling you towards a vehicle. But, your blood lust isn't so easily sated. You shove the dog away and make for your vehicle and give chase to the lord of the underworld. You see only red and want to rip his still beating heart out with your hands.>Chase after him in a blind rage>Chase after him in a blind rage>Chase after him in a blind rage>Get madder.
>>6279247>Chase after him in a blind rageKILL! KILL! KILL! Drag Ass's nose ought to be keen enough to find us later.
>>6279247>Chase after him in a blind rage"FIVES! GRAB YOUR IRON! WE'RE ROASTING THAT BUZZARD EVEN IF IT KILLS US!"
>>6279260>>6279248The way into the tunnels has been destroyed and now lays burning behind you. The way forwards is an endless black vision with only the blue fire of the of the Underworld Lord's exhaust system leading you ever forward into eternal darkness. You fear nothing, you see little, and your rage drives you onward. He won't escape your wrath.You eventually catch up to him, but the tunnel is narrow. As you pull up alongside him a buzz saw on a mechanical arm comes outward and attempts to cut into your cab and decapitate you. Swiftly you tap your breaks and manage to avoid the Under World lord's fiendish and dirty trick. He overcompensates and causes his weapon to crash into the right side of the tunnel, destroying it in the process. You have to pull back yet again to avoid the debris from the arm destroying your tires. However, you can't wait any longer. Firing off the nitro you charge headlong into his rear and begin running into either side of the tunnel as both of your vehicles go out of control from the incredible speed. The Lord of the Underworld tries to use another weapon, a mine layer loaded into the back of his truck. Thankfully the mechanism was semi destroy when you crashed into him, and causes him to set a live explosive in the back of his ride. With another depression of the gas peddle you slam into his back again and cause his vehicle to go wise and spin head first into the right wall of the tunnel. You'll scream past him as a massive fire ball fills the tight space behind you. His screams fill your ears as he burns to death. You have defeated the Buzzard's false god, and freed the dunes of Buzzard control. Stabilizing and securing a large portion of the highway route to Eden. In a moment of jubilation and triumph you find yourself approaching a source of light, the end of the tunnel. You launch out of it at full speed and find yourself a few miles away from where you originally went in. It's little problem to locate and find your mates. They celebrate your return as a conquering hero. A slayer of demons and foul monsters of the dark. The legend of Orgasmo has begun to spread. Liberator and Castirator of the Wasteland's greatest terrors.You war party heads back to Barter Town as conquering heroes. The time has come to decide on your next target. >The Lord Humongous and his raiders are less centralized, but a far greater threat than the Buzzards. However, you feel as though you're a match for them now.>The great three are all vast and awesome opponents, but even the greatest band of war boys would have a hard time against you on what is becoming your home turf.>You can try to parley with the mysterious tribes of the north, on set out to drive them from the portion of the highway you need to clear. However, give your now good name. That might not be necessary. Make contact with them.
>>6279279>You can try to parley with the mysterious tribes of the north, on set out to drive them from the portion of the highway you need to clear. However, give your now good name. That might not be necessary. Make contact with them.What worth is a reputation, if it is not spent? By choice or by fist, the north will submit!
>>6279279>You can try to parley with the mysterious tribes of the north, on set out to drive them from the portion of the highway you need to clear. However, give your now good name. That might not be necessary. Make contact with them.Never let it not be said that Orgasmo is generous a king as he is a shagger
>>6279279>>You can try to parley with the mysterious tribes of the north, on set out to drive them from the portion of the highway you need to clear. However, give your now good name. That might not be necessary. Make contact with them.Let them sing-song the stories of Lord Orgasmo! The Sultan of the Sands! The Butcher of the Buzzards! Ruler of the Roads!
Absolutely Based Buzz-Bashing scenes, & the choices presented when we were chasing him really fit.+1 to the consensus, but once again, our parlay would go better if we had translators for whomever we speak to. I can only assume the four main languages of the wasteland are the same as before the war: 'Strayan/Sick Cunt/Dero, Bri'ish, Abo, & Chinaman. We should find a couple slaves or mates who speak the latter two.
>>6279279>>You can try to parley with the mysterious tribes of the north, on set out to drive them from the portion of the highway you need to clear. However, give your now good name. That might not be necessary. Make contact with them.
>>6279283>>6279284>>6279364>>6279414>>6279607After recuperation in Barter Town you head out once more across the endless wastes. You've replaced the man you lost at the hands of the Lord of the Underworld, and doubly so. You've gained a new and mysterious powerful ally. Hearing of your exploits destroying the Buzzards a young tomboy, female black finger has joined your war party. Schooled in the ways of jet engines, the lore of cars and fixing guts is a simple matter for her. You and Five Fingers played a game of rock paper scissor to determine who would have first dibs on her. Both of you chose rock six times straight, so it was a tie. He gets her during the daytime and you at night. Oh, and her name is "Frisky."You set out to the northern reaches perusing tales of the great Northern Tribe. The industry and resources are sparse, so you have to abandon half of your war party's strength in order to maintain your supply of food. However, the environment in these parts is more or less pristine. Pre fall. No shortage of food or water. You can find open water with little to no effort with the worse contaminants being mud. Food is plentiful, lots of koala bear and roo meat to be had. Now how will you and the lads go about finding the Northern Tribesmen?>Be R E S P E C T F U L L as in, don't murder none of 'em you come across. Be all diplomatic and the like. >Murder them on sight. Fear is the opener. >Leave it to Five Fingers and Frisky. Diplomacy is best left to the second in command and women, after all. You're too important and the like. >Set some fires, that will get their attention
>>6279639>Be R E S P E C T F U L L as in, don't murder none of 'em you come across. Be all diplomatic and the like.Queenie told us something bout, trade deals and the like, whatever thats about. You lads wanna have a good old fashioned BBQ, we brought booze!
>>6279639>Be R E S P E C T F U L L as in, don't murder none of 'em you come across. Be all diplomatic and the like.Keep it simple. Being the strongest man around doesn't mean we've got to manhandle every tribe we run into.
>>6279639Hell yes tomboy acquired. Also>Both of you chose rock six times straightI spit out my soda you asshole>Be R E S P E C T F U L L as in, don't murder none of 'em you come across. Be all diplomatic and the like.I like the Five Fingers/Frisky option, but we'll look far more impressive if we're an accomplished negotiator AND a slayer of freaks
>>6279641>>6279669>>6279672Gather 'round, gather all that can hear me now. For there is a tale to tell. Once but twice a decade halved stood some people thinkin' free. They said, "there be the north o' prime waters and fertile grounds and this here gas be our ticket to it." However, not all understood their vision. Some, be sayin' that the gas weren't theirs to be keepin'. Some said that the gas belonged to the raiders in the wasteland. But, as we all know. None be sayin' nothing to our king. He stood high up on the crown of a hill and said death was all they'll be takin' with 'em. And, so he let sore a piece of magic metal he forged from the meanest and nastiest war rig to have ever breathed fire and pain on the roads. And, it flew. Straight through the skull of every bastard that blocked their way. And, with it he done birthed the northern tribe. So, that no one ever forgot. He told us the tail and made sure we weren't slack in the tellin' to our little uns.The founding of the Northern Tribe's story is told to you over the course of several weeks of song and dance. Festivities and clean booze like you haven't had since before the fall blur your days and nights to into a soporific haze. By the end of it you find yourself, Five Fingers, Drag Ass, and Frisky sitting before the lord of the north. He's built like a brick shit house, looks quicker than Five Fingers, and almost as mean as you. His terms are simple. Fresh shipments of gas for right to travel along his portion of the highway, and priority bid on trade goods. In exchange, he'll supply water, grain, and livestock the likes the rest of the Wasteland can't even support any longer. You and Five Fingers, however, are given a direct invitation, which can't be turned down. You must bed either his daughters or the next highest knights women and get them pregnant. Or, there can be no guarantee of peace. No lasting truce. Your blood is strong the Northern Tribes lives off of strong blood. This obligation will take some time. Possibly months of "hard work." Might open up some fresh raiders to move in on areas you've already claimed. Or, it might let you grow your war party to something truly epic in scope. Enough to take on and destroy one of the big three. Your choice to take the risk.>Agree to his terms>Walk on them
>>6279697>Agree to his termsWe are the great Orgasmo. How could we ever do anything else?
>>6279697>Agree to his termsOrgasmo finds these terms...most agreeable
>>6279697>"See this here Stranger? I need your cock and your balls to penetrate every single thing that's blocking this road for me.">I need your cock and your balls >cock balls penetrate>Agree to his terms
>>6279697Seems almost too good to be true, but>AgreeThey ain't wrong--blood is thicker than water and allies are in short supply here in the wasteland
>>6279697>>Agree to his terms
+1, Fookin' oath!
>6279836>6279811>6279776>6279773>6279753>6279740SIX MONTHS LATER! You have sired five off spring and Five Fingers has managed to get ten ladies pregnant. The rumors of your victory over the Buzzards has been spread through the Norther Tribes tribal lore and moved throughout the wasteland as an ode to the coming of Orgasmo. King of the new world. Many warriors have come under your flag and sworn themselves to your endless and infinite fury and horror. So, that they might ride shiny and eternal through the nuclear hellscape as your envoys of death. The number of your war party has swollen to three thousand rigs. Staffed by no less than ten thousand of your creatures. The time has come for fury, horror, and death to be visited upon the scourge of the wasteland. The three and awesomely vast nations of Gas Town, the Bullet Farm, and the Citadel. Which even your horde of nightmare will have a hard time devouring. You sit in counsel with Five Fingers and Frisky. Drag Ass has grown slow as of late, he is of little use more than a companion. You must make three decisions. Who to attack first of the great three. How to outfit your army of horrors, and last but not least who to personally gut and kill. The Citadel is lead by a family of Olympians. Gods that have become mortals to dally with men and pursue combat for pleasure, but you've killed false gods before and they will be no different. You face Immortan Joe and his Horrific Son Rictus Erectus. Gas Town is lead by the god like Scabrous Scrotus and his loyal man Stank Gum, a human weasel slipperier than an eel. Bullet Farm is lead by the Bullet Farmer, former commander from the old world that finds pleasures in the powerful weapons of the old war. He forges them anew to keep alive the sins of those that died i the great fire so that man may suffer eternally. Regardless, you will bathe in their blood. Every last one of them must die. Who do you attack first? How? And, what shall Orgasmo's great word be to his men before the assault begins?
>Gas Town>Take Scabrous' Head>Gut Stank Gum & Stake him atop the Walls of Gastown>"Oi, ya sick fookin' cunts!!! Who's ready to kill a GOD & ride ETERNAL IN GLORIOUS CHROME!!!?"
>>6280114>Bullet farm/ Bullet FarmTake out their weapon/ ammo supply and gas town and the citadel will be softer targets. As for our speech"We've not only gone through hell, we've made hell and torched the freaks who thought they lived in it! The bullet farmer thinks he's hard, with all his shooters and bang sticks, but that's all he's got. We got muscle, we go brawn, and we got brains. but most importantly, me lads, WE GOT THE BALLS! THE BALLS TO MAKE THE BULLET FARM OURS"
>>6280114>Bullet FarmWe get the shooters, we get the world
I can see where Bullet Farm would be the right choice if we're worried about the other two counter-attacking, whereas if we're just trying to take the easiest target first to grow stronger, Gas Town seems like the move.
>>6280258My only concern with that is, as the source material shows, these guys seem to like looking out for each other. We could probably take gas town, but then we've got a siege on our hands... and the siegers are gonna be armed while we'll be stuck with whatever we have now. No matter what we're gonna hit resistance, but crippling their Old World Weapons Provider might be the best step while we still have the element of surprise. Open to other suggestions, though!
>>6280114I think a strike on Bullet Farm makes the most sense, taking their impact on logistics and munitions into account.
>>6280449I'm >>6279740, again.
>6280452>6280449>6280260>6280258>6280248>6280207>6280205You have decided to move against Bullet Farm. The most heavily armed force next to the Peace Keepers of Eden. The hardships and personal sacrifices may be great, but Orgasmo is mightier than all. He is prepared for any price to dominate the Wasteland and rule over all!Frisky comes to you with a strange, but bold plan. She will construct a dozen gyrocopters and train a fleet of bombers to attack them from the sky as you and Five Fingers divide your forces and attack the ancient strip mine in a pincer formation.You attack at dawn! Frisky lets loose the fires of hell as the idea of an aerial assault is a nightmare right out of the old world and Bullet Farm isn't prepared. The guard posts are consumed by her fire bombs and your raiders over run the war boy outposts. Five Fingers has armed himself with two sawed off shot guns and weaves between the advanced guard of Bullet Farm laying waste to them. His ammunition specially constructed shells made by Frisky to burn men alive inside their cars or inside their guts from the inside out. His legion supports him with grinders and flame throwers mounted on their vehicles. The enemy responds with mortars and machine guns. Killing a third of your number in glorious ascendancy to Valhalla. May they drive forever shiny and chrome!After the better part of a day's worth of struggles and fightin'. You've slaughtered your thousandth war boy. Breaking necks and cracking skulls. More like a tiger than a man you've come to embody the taste of the wasteland. Razor sharp talons are attached to your fingers and arms. Letting you RIP AND TEAR through your opponents. You run in thick plated cast iron armor too heavy for a normal man to even walk in. It stops most of the Bullet Farms pitiful attempts at shooting you like the pathetic cowards that they are.At last you have reached the inner sanctum of the Bullet Farmer himself. His throne is an unexploded nuclear bomb he's preparing to detonate in order to defeat you and your army in a last minute of glory, but Five Fingers catches him in a lethal choke hold. War boys surround you and Frisky is waiting to take you away in her Gyrocopter. Five Fingers motions for you to go, says he's going to bring ol' Bullet Farmer to hell with him. Restraining him from opening fire on you and Frisky. Do you make your escape or personally kill the Bullet Farmer and ensure Five Fingers survival, or all of your shared deaths?>Kill the Bullet Farmer and refuse to leave Five Fingers behind but risk dying with him. >Wish him luck and leave to watch the atomic fire consume the Bullet Farm.>Think of something else
>>6280548>Wish him luck and leave to watch the atomic fire consume the Bullet Farm.>tell fives "you're my best mate, fives. I'll miss ya, you old dog. Keep a spot warm for me down there, will ya"
"Fives ya' sick fackin' cunt, we shoulda' been born from the same Sheila... Bullet Farmer ya' worthless nob, disarm the doom shroom & we'll send ya' to the Citadel, Gas Town, or wherever you want to fack off to. Refuse, & I rip your balls off right now with my bear hands, savvy?"(This is out of character knowledge, but if that doesn't work we can just pry the panels of the casing open & separate the cancer rocks from the mechanism, then it'll just be a small regular bomb about to go off.)If the Bullet Farmer agrees & he wants to go back to one of the other two kingdoms, we should honor the deal, but demand a hostage in exchange before we hand him over.
>>6280548>>Kill the Bullet Farmer and refuse to leave Five Fingers behind but risk dying with him.
>>6280548>Kill the Bullet FarmerI doubt he knows the proper innards of nukes, I'm betting it'll be a dirty bomb than an actual nuke. No mushrooms here, so we can survive if we hide inside a fridge or something.
>>6280870>>6280575>>6280557>>6280553You hold out your hand to Frisky and wait for her to put something into it never letting your eyes leave Five Fingers or the Bullet Farmer. She places something heavy in it and you point it at the Bullet Farmers head and pull the trigger. A screaming rocket shoots out of some zip gun piece of shit she'd thrown together for the row and it burs deep into the Bullet Farmers skull before exploding knocking Five Fingers to the ground, "Boss, what are you tryin' to do?" You don't don't give him a chance to answer, instead dragging his ass onboard the gryrocopter and you take off. You turn back to Frisky and ask her how long. She clicks her tongue and says "Oh, about the time you feel like yer ass is on fire and the sky screams fer ah few minutes straight." You shrug, "Fuck it mates. Let's go back to Barter Town and have ourselves a beer. We'll take the rest of these cunts here in ah year or two." Before you fully comprehend what happens the Nuclear bomb goes off and exterminates your army, Bullet Farm, and the rest of the surrounding area. You all laugh and fly off into the sunset having committed a war crime not seen since the Fall. Your adventures will continue in part 2 (whenever the hell I've got time for this crazy shit again). Sometime later this month or year. Been a fun quest. Murder and mayhem for everyone. Orgasmo and company got off, but they're far from done. At least three or more armies of cunts they need to kill horribly to save the Wasteland and take it over.
Fuckin' oath, nice Qst QM!
Were the Buzzards based off of a faction from the video game?
>>6282109Nah, they're the fucks in the spikey cars that show up for a few scenes to get bodied by the war boys in the movie
>>6282109>>6282222The "setting" was an ever present version of the first three movies, game, and fourth movie. The Eden idea was based off a number of zombie movies and comics I cribbed the idea from. I'm playing fast and loose with the source material. The Buzzards were vaguely the underground guys from the Video game and something a bit more occult than even what the game/4th movie implied. I've got a few other quest ideas I want to run, but this one was a good experiment. Will be continuing it in a few weeks.
>>6282347Oh what are the other ideas?
>>6282347More occult you say? Are you hinting at what Tabitha Barnett described being victim of?
>>6282348Will cover them in their respective threads when I launch the campaign>>6282376No, I mean occult as in the term cult/supernatural. The Buzzards/Ravens I reference here are more obviously religious and demonic in their depiction instead of only vaguely referenced as such.
Rewatched the trilogy recently & the original is better than I thought, still not as good as the sequel which isn't as good as I remember, but holy shit man, the third movie sucks. It gets the Ewok/Hobbit movie treatment out of nowhere.
Watched the two new films (counting 2015 as new) & the Cult of the V8/War Boys are based as FUCKWould love some more lore on the other groups too but it might be awhile before another film is made.
