I burst out of the saloon as the hoof-beats outside grew louder and louder. Normally I would dip once a package was delivered, but these FUCKING SAVAGES have been getting too bold. Shots are being fired around the town, clearly I'm not alone in trying to repel this raid. Glass shatters and arrows shatter the windows of the saloon behind me, It's not until I hear the whine of my horse and see it fall to it's side I'd realize moving into the open was a mistake. Somehow the tribals out here got their hands on some proper rifles and revolvers. Turning my head back to the road where the shots came from I see the Indians, draw my Colt, and fire twice. One bullet for a pair with long guns, clearly supposed to be of US ARMY make. I should have accounted for the hoof beats **around** the Town. A pair of arrows strike me in the chest, I barely get a chance to see the redskins behind the crates and bags of goods these arrows came from before my vision fades as i start to fall backwards.Somehow I feel sluggish as I next wake up, like there's a fog on my mind. As it recedes I realize a couple of things. I'm already standing upright. That shouldn't be the case from what I remember. The other thing noticed is it's still too dark blinking and trying to rub my eyes has done nothing to help change the lighting. A quick look around shows that I'm standing in a stone room, surrounded by odd metal torches, cobwebs, and a couple other people standing around barely moving. One is armored and the other looks like he's wearing a suit.> Check our wounds.> Check on one of these other guys.> Try to find a door and walk out of here.
>>6296011>Check on one of these other guys.That armor ain't gonna do you well, fella. A bullet will go right through it no questions asked.
fifteen minutes before next post
Rolled 20 (1d100)Looking the other fellow over he looks as beat as I feel, although I can't place the armor, at least he's no threat, seeing how a Colt hasn't lost to plate yet."Hey!" I shout at 'em, but the guy doesn't seem to react so i take a stop closer and keep talking. "You from Europe or some-""RAAAAAAGH!" The man, if you can call this thing that, turns and tries to grab me! Putting up my arms i shove him but he just tries again. Holding him back with my forearm this time i draw my iron and press the barrel under his chin. I brace for the pain my arm's going to feel from the cylinder gap and ear's will recieve from the concussive noise of a shot in this enclosed space.**BANG!!** The skull of this steel clad fucker blows open. Though not much but black sludge flies out the top of this guys head. The noise caught the other fellow's ears and turns out they seem to be like a corpse too! I quickly point the revolver to them and fire as well. Another bang and the second corpse falls.A moment to catch my breath i realize a few thing, particularly the absence of breath being taken. Other than that my ears aren't ringing like they should, and my hand. . my hand looks decrepit. The flesh is too pale and ashen to be healthy.Looking down i see the arrows still in my chest. . My shirt and coat haven't been removed. No sign of a doc's intervention. . I'm not breathing.On panic fueled breakdown later and i'm in a hallway. Stone still and the walls have torches like some old European fort. "Fuck me! The fuck is going on here?" I ask nobody.(cont)
The halls behind me seem to run into a dead end. The halls in front of me however, I hear what sounds like someone banging pots and pans, . . There's several shouts, most men, some women. . Odd groans like the guys from the room i woke up in.Not seeing any other way to go i walk towards the source of the ruckus and lo and behold i see lighting. . . "What in gods fuckin name?" you ask, your voice oddly doesn't sound right, like you're speaking through dirt and gravel. Not as important as the guy shooting fucking lightning from his hands.In the middle of a room a group of men and two women are fighting a single cloak wearing guy shooting lightning from his fingertips and holding a stick with several skulls on it. a man with rabbit ears on his head is swinging an oversized axe at one of those armored zombie guys, and a short guy with a shield and a mace is keeping more back just by holding up the mace. A woman with long ears is shooting arrows that are stopped by an unseen wall at the cloaked guy, and the man with a sword is being blocked by the staff. Then there's this lizard in the middle chanting with a high pitched voice holding this oddly ornate stick upright over her head.>Sneak past this madness, I gotta get the fuck outta here.>Fire in the air, you might be able to break this up.>Shoot at the guy in the cloak, skulls on a stick is bad news.>Shoot at the group of odd folk, five on one isn't fair.>Shoot at the undead. Those things shouldn't be.>??? (Write your own, i encourage this shit.)
Sometime may dip out of first person. Will apologize for that i tend to do a lot of third person writing.
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>6296034>>Fire in the air, you might be able to break this up.
Time for me to pass the fuck out, i'll be posting the update after my 8 hours pass. Keep rolling and voting. Cutoff will be once i'm awake to "writing."
>>6296034>Fire in the air, you might be able to break this up.
Vote Closed, roll of 40 (Low diff partial success)Writing
I draw my revolver and point it towards the ceiling. A flick of my eyes confirms a ricochet won't hit none and i squeeze the trigger.BANG!!The fighting doesn't exactly stop, the other corpses in the room keep attacking the rabbit ears guy and that short fellow. But the pointy ear woman, lizard witch, normal sword guy, and the cloaked man with the skull covered stick turn towards me."Now thats i've got yer attenshun." I grumble loudly, my voice seemingly wrong it comes out harsh and gravely. "Will one-a-yah tell me what in SAM HELL IS GOIN' ON 'ERE!?""Sh-Sentient undead!" Yells the pointy ear one."Mordain's Beard!" Exclaimed the midget with his mace.The cloaked man laughs. "I don't know how you can talk, but make yourself useful my puppet! KILL THEM!"I don't know why, but suddenly it feels like that haze is back, there's a pressure on my mind and my limbs feel heavy, like they're being pulled.> roll, best of 4, higher the better.
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>6296207
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>6296207
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>6296207Resist and shoot the cloaked guy
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>6296207I love dicerolling!
Well that just ain't right
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>6296207This bathrobe wearin' fuck tellin' us what to do? And we have to do it? Now ain't this a fresh pot of pissed in beans. A puppet he says. Should put a bullet in the bastard just for suggesting he has another man in bondage I tell you what. Anyway here's a great roll that is no longer valid.
(At least someone made the bare minimum.)> Average result vs weak Necromancy, non-created undead."Wand!""Lez Ward urt Arcanum!""fight harder my minions!"I can make out through this haze the odd group, the corpses attacking the two armored members of it in the back start swinging like they know what they're doing, a fog rolling off them now. I can tell my hands moving up, and it won't move where i want. It points my pistol at the pointy eared woman, and it won't budge off her! Worse, as soon as something starts to shimmer in front of me she turns and pulls an arrow to fire at one of the moving corpses.I can feel my jaw tighten yet at the same time, I can physically tell my actual jaw refuses to clench even as i strain to force the motion! As her arrow drops the corpse my finger slowly moves to press the trigger. No! I can't let that happen! It's MY FUCKING BODY! NOT ANYONE ELSES! MINE! Something feels like it tears and starts burning inside me as i manage to jerk the arm to the side, just in time. The trigger is depressed, the hammer strikes the primer, the last cartridge in the cylinder lets out a blast that echos through the cave. The bullet travels shimmer in front of me as it sails towards the last point the barrel had been pointed. CRACK! Spraaat! "AAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!" The cloaked figure screams as his leg shatters at the upper thigh. Blood races out as the visible marrow pours even more onto the stone floor. "H-How in the H-Hells!""Nobody, tells me who to shoot! YOU VARMINT!" As the haze recedes i notice two things. The other dead and moving thing no longer seem as coordinated, and are easily killed when they overextend like wild animals charging. And the lizard and long eared lass look like they just saw their long dead grandfathers.The man with the sword doesn't stand on ceremony, the cloaked man is swiftly beheaded. I feel like a pressure on my back is completely lifted at that. Should be the end of it, but the trio of armored warriors quickly move to stand in front of the other two and have their weapons at the ready."My ears are bleeding! What kind of spell was that Izzilra!" The rabbit eared man asked, panic in his, or maybe it's voice."Forget that, make a run for it!" The sword holder, maybe their leader, commands."And let'na abomination walk! Nay! By my father's father's works, Ye shall return ta soil!" Did that fucking midget just call me an abomination? Wait, pin in that, I've fired this gun six time's, I'm not reloading in time if they start swinging.> ???
>>6296286
>>6296304>"Hold on now I ain't kicked the bucket yet. Besides you haven't even asked me where I'd like to be interred. There's a great view in the Sierra Nevada I came across once, I reckon I'd like that. Beautiful mountains for a hike. Now howsabout we git so we don't have to look at these cadavers while we talk?"If we can get them walking we could probably reload behind our back while we move. If only we'd have bought that second gun in Utah. >>6296309Doggone it.
>>6296318ThisBut holster the gun and prominently put your hand on it, ready to drawThat midget don't know we fired all six shots
Rolled 36 (1d100)"Hol up now, ain' fitted for my coffin yet, wouldn't be proper burin' to thro' a man in a ditch 'ike dat." I said, Keeping my hands up. "Sides, Ya'll ain' ask me where I'd like ta be interred." That got the midget to raise a rather oversized eyebrow. Might have him hooked. The others were looking at me with what i be guessing is exasperation. Didn't make anyone here less jumpy though. So i decided to press on to defuse the situation. Slowly i move the revolver to my holster, though hover my hand just above it. "Sierra Nevada, now tha's a place wit a great view. Reckon I'd like that. Beautiful mountains, great for hiking. Now, howsbout' we git on outta 'ere so we don't ha'vta see these here cadavers while we talk.""He, he's not a-" *The shaking Lizard said. Her eye were no longer so much on me as much as they were stairin at the gun on my belt. The other's twitch their heads, seeming to have caught her mumble.*"That weapon ignored the ward, it wasn't a wand at all." *The pointy eared woman said, finishing for the reptile.*"HA! 'en i dinna have ta be cautious aboot cracking his cursed head open!" *The midget shouted, about to rush forward before the hand of the rabbit eared man landed on the squat man's shoulder."Wait. This one isn't hostile, and it's not a caster, that rule out a Lich. . What are you?""An American" I reply."What kind of undead is an american?""What in tarnation is an undead? I only got a rough guess here but it have to do with the arrows and the not breathing going on?"". . ."". . ."". . .""Yes.""Can we just fucking leave this old whatever this place is already?"(Cont.)
Well the trip is as uneasy as can BE. The fucking group won't lower their weapons, that means i can't be reloadin MINE. And then there's the midget. Who insist that i must be from an ancient empire that refused to repent and was cursed with being a walking corpse. Now we may be expansionist but the US sure as fuck ain't no empire. And last i checked god wasn't in the habit of making folk walking corpses. Less we want to count Lazarus, but i don' think he counts the same as i do."An' tha'ss'a why ye kinna trust a human king ta dig into a mountain! they dinna know what tha fuck they're doing."I audibly sigh at this, which is impressive considering the lack of lungs to work with. "So can someone explain ta me why the midget don' think he's people?" On second thought probably shouldn't have asked that, i'm getting funny looks from the other-"Who do ye think yer calling a midget ye decaying bag o' pus an' disease!""Am i missing something here?" SRRRNK!-CLICK! Suddenly the floor gives way, large metal hinges just pulling the stone from under our feet, Quickly i throw an arm up to grab the ledge, Although, just behind me i hear a shout.> Roll, best of 4 1d100> Let me know if you want to try saving whichever one of these guys is behind us. I'm not saying who. Your roll will be harder to pass if you try.
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>6296430>save the dwarf if we canAn American and a Dawi walk in to a bar. There are no survivors, and five more grudges in the Great book of Grudges. I think it'd be very funny if we saved the one whose actively hostile towards us, is all.
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>6296425>What are you?">"An American" I reply.Based and red-white-n-blue pilled. kek>>6296430>>6296437I concur. The dorfs are good allies if'n you can make em. And probably the one we'll best get along with all things considered. Dwarves and Americans are like peanut butter and jelly. We're the sweet one, obviously.
Thinking about it, if we're "dead" we probably don't get tired. So as long as we have the grip strength we could probably hold on for as long as we need to. If we no longer sleep then we also finally have time to practice our harmonica. Though maybe a guitar would be better considering our less than working lips and lungs.
only two rolls of a bo4, should i extend this?75 is already passing
>>6296506You could always ask for rolls in the /qtg/. But if you're happy with a pass you can just go with it.
>>6296506not much point when it's already been passed
> 75, difficult reflex action. Success!Admittedly i was not in the best condition of my life right now. That said, I'm was one of the deadliest post riders in the still more uncivilized parts of the western frontier for a damn good fucking reason. I manage to get my left arm in place to grip the ledge and shoot my right back. Turning my head I catch sight of the midgets leg in my periphery and grab it. "Gotcha!""UNHAND ME YE ROTTEN CARCA-AAAAH! WAIT I'VE CHANGED MY MIND DON'T LET-"I've gotta say, this not feeling pain from doing things with my body that should be wrecking it is pretty handy. "And up you go!""-NOOOOOO!" He shouts as he sails over the ledge and lands with a thud on solid ground. Now with my arm free, climbing up is a breeze.Back up the ledge i glance back down and i see what we avoided, That is a lot of sharp looking rusty spikes, some even seem coated with something that looks suspiciously browner than the rust. "I'll be a son'uva bitch. . that was close." I spot the others on the other side, except for the lizard, she's just hovering. "The fuck?""'the fuck?' be right ye stupid shambler ape! ye! ye!. . . Erugh!" The midget just seems to deflate, The floor closes back up. and the lizard lowers herself back down. She would walk across towards us and pat the dwarf on the shoulder. "Well now, what was it about debts and dwarves?" The reptile asked, grinning with too many teeth earning a huff and turn of the head in reply."I think the trap didn't trigger on our way in because we were more spread out, we probably didn't weigh enough as we were passing then, now that we're walking in a group. . We'll cross one at a time." Said the pointed eared lass."How tedious." I said as i fished out a cigar and my, lighter, and knife to start smoking to pass the time.
>half an hour laterFortunately we weren't that far from the exist, seeing sunlight again was welcoming, until it wasn't "Ugh. Movement feels tight for some reason.""You're literally tanning like a cut of hide." The pointy eared lady said. She was carrying a cook pot, taken from a nearby wagon, and set it on a spit over the currently extinguished campfire.With heavy footfalls i heard the midget approach, i was surprised to see him carrying what looked like things too thin to be blankets. Some kind of Poncho maybe? Didn't get a chance to see before it was thrown at me. "Here, undead thing. I brought ye something so ye can hide your shame. Which be your whole person.""Dem insults to dull any gratitude then?""Be happy i dinna grant ye mordain's mercy when we ran into ye. This humiliatin' debt will be repaid an' 'en it's ta your rightful rest.""Right, thanks hangman." I say as i start going through what i've been given. Seems it's a large cloak, and some kind of leather straps on and covering with metal in em and some chaps that don't look right. The final piece is some kind of hood and face covering mask that seemed like it was ripped off really ugly armor. "really. Is my face that bad?" I ask, raising a brow as i look to my, not quite captors. By the looks i'm being given i get the feeling i need to see a mirror or a clear stream as soon as possible. The Lizard woman broke the silence first."I'm curious, you don't act as a undead would. Nor does the way you speak reflect any human kingdoms known, or recorded. You said you're American, that doesn't sound like a term for a creature so who and what are, or perhaps we should say, were you exactly?">???
>>6296561>"Henry P. Jameson, pleasure to meet y'all. Postman by trade, rider by talent. Speakin' of, y'all got horses in this part of Europe right? Near France? They had this famous general what had a paintin' drawn of him on a horse. Anyway, if y'ain't heard of America you must be way out. It's across the Atlantic, best country on Earth. If you can ignore the redskins that is - damn savage bastards. Course that's easier said than done out West. But I've rambled enough. Where is this exactly? And the hell was goin' on with that ingrate with lightning hands back there?"I wonder if they make boots in our size out here. Oh man did we lose our spurs?
>>6296561>Damn right we ain't creatures. We Americans are the darn free-est people around on the Lords green Earth. You ain't heard o' us once? Not ever? >Granted I ain't ever seen a lizard wear clothes or fly either. 'Spose that makes us even then.
>>6296569+1
I settle my elbows onto my knees as i adjust my hat and the face mask. Sits funny trying to get both on together. "Henry P. Jameson, pleasure to meet y'all. I'm a Post Rider for the US Post Office Department. Postman by trade, rider by talent. Speakin' of, y'all got horses in this part of Europe right? Near France? They had this famous general what had a paintin' drawn of him on a horse. Anyway, if y'ain't heard of America you must be way out. It's across the Atlantic, best country on Earth. If you can ignore the redskins that is - damn savage bastards. Course that's easier said than done out West. But I've rambled enough. Where is this exactly? And the hell was goin' on with that ingrate with lightning hands back there?"There was a baffled look on the lizards face, at least i think it's baffled, her mouth was hanging open. "Um, not sure where to start with that. I don't know what a Europe, France, or a Postman is. But you're in the frontier of the Kingdom of Spurnwald. As for what was going on with the man with the ingrate as you called him. He was a Necromancer. A Corpse Wizard.""Corpse wizard? That how I'm walking around.""No, in fact he couldn't get control over you that would indicate he isn't the one who revived your body. You wouldn't have changed targets if that was the case." She gives a odd chuckling sound before she continues. "I am Izzilra. Unlike your kin my people use only one name unless they are of royal breeding." Great, Fucking monarchist lizards. There's another round of silence. Until Izzilra feigns a cough and starts barking at the others. "Well if you're all going to sit here and gawk at them, are you not being rude." Ignoring that I manage to unscrew my canteen, lucky me, i still have some water, so i try to take drink.The rabbit eared man sighs. "We didn't mean anything by it, it's just odd having an undead in the camp not be a immediate threat. I'm Iwanna Moannya.""Pfffft! Huack! ack! What the fuck!?""Huh, what happen-" "How the fuck is your name literally I wanna moan?""Hey! Being rude!" We are scolded by Izzilra. I kinda have to wince at that, she may have a point."Ok, that may have come off poorly. My bad Iwanna . . Who's the rest of this group.""Well, our leader with the bright and shiny sword is Wun Fehkam.""How many of ya are named puns?"". . .""Come on." "The elf is Carcina Uvalji, and the dwarf is Radnek Freemantle.""Elf?""Our cook." "Surprisingly normal names both of them.""uh huh.""I apologize for laughing?""do you really?""No."(Cont)
The next several hours are uneventful. My ass gets told not to eat on the grounds my stomach would just become a functionless container for rotting food and stink up the place. Which makes me question if i'm going to need to find an undertaker to scrape my fucking bowels. Other than that there was a question of watch order, a reconfirmation that i'm still seen as a potential threat, and by the time the sun is setting i actually get a minute to clean my revolver an reload the beloved .44 Colt.Morning breaks over the forest outside the cave we left and the entire camp quickly comes alive much to my shock. I haven't seen early risers like these outside of farming towns. The cart is loaded and I realize it's one of those Asian carts that's pulled by a man and not a horse."We're about seven hours away from the marsh town of pikebramble. A town the guild maintains at a loss for it's reagent farming." Carcina explains. "The road will be dangerous. It's a fact of life there's a high mortality rate for crossing into the marsh when traveling in less than a group of ten. Don't think that being dead already will keep you safe either."So their roads are as bad or worse than roads back around Oklahoma and Utah? This should make the journey interesting.> Want to try showing them how the US Post Office got known for making good time, or stay alert and make sure that company and cargo make it in one piece?> Or maybe one of you has another suggestion?
>>6296615>Or maybe one of you has another suggestion?Simply follow and observe. Maybe aid them if they get attacked by something big and scary. Especially aid them if Radnek is in danger from something big and scary. You want to see how far you can put him in your debt, maybe he'll eventually actually become friendly.
>>6296615>> Want to try showing them how the US Post Office got known for making good timeCome on, swampy or no, trailblazing is trailblazing. Can't be worse than going through the bayou. Or shit, the Everglades. We've seen it all. Except lizard ladies. And lightning fingers. But in terms of land there's a bit of everything in the States. By God we'll show em why the only thing that would make our parcel work late is dying in transit. Which we'd rather not have happen again.
>>6296615>Want to try showing them how the US Post Office got known for making good time?Well I had to grapple a gator one time
>>6296615>Want to try showing them how the US Post Office got known for making good time, or stay alert and make sure that company and cargo make it in one piece?
>>6296615>> Want to try showing them how the US Post Office got known for making good time, or stay alert and make sure that company and cargo make it in one piece?
>Want to try showing them how the US Post Office got known for making good time?I get to the front of our little caravan, they got Iwanna doing the pulling so i ask em. "Hey, you've been at this an hour, let me take over." "You sure? This shit's heavy.""What's gonna happen, i get a muscle cramp? Not like i'd feel it to tell.""Hmmn. Alright, just take it easy." The rabbit eared man asked as he tilts the cart back and steps away, letting me get to the handles.Alright. Lets see what we're working with. Taking control of the cart if find that it was heavy, I wasn't straining but it was gonna be slower than i'd like. Looks like i'm not sprinting. The axel however i can tell as the wheels turn is good on this thing. There's no reason we can't take this at a good jog."Aight! This should be as easy as running through Louisiana!""Wait Henry!""Henry! The Axel!""Ye let tha abomination pull our cart, be ye mad!""By the elders, why?""Fucking mammals."I don't really give much attention to the complaints as we reach a full jogging pace, i can tell the axel will hold up even on rough terrain, the hard parts gonna be avoiding patches of muddy ground, and that's not even hard, just mildly difficult.> Roll 1d100 for marshy terrain navigation, best of four.
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>6296791We'll leave them in the dust.
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>6296791Pathfinder. Wayfarer.
>>6296791rollin'Wonder if they play Texas Hold'em here
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>6296831woops
Rolled 39, 9, 96, 58, 79, 94 = 375 (6d100)>>6296791This one's for the Old West
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>6296791Gidde up!
> High of 65The others start jogging after me, and good, it'd be a pain in the ass to have to wait for them. I weave the cart around the little obstacles the road has in it, roots growing from marshland trees, bramble, muddy pits. It's a mess, clearly nobody gets paid to clean this shit up. after an hour of jogging at a brisk pace with their cart i think we cleared off about an hour of this trip, by two hours the others were getting winded, so i had to slow a bit."You're all doing great, Just walk it off for a bit and we can get back to running.""Ye damn. . blighted rotter! Ye kinna get tired, we still can!""Yeah, it's why i slowed down. Look at it this way, we'll get to the Saloon in time for happy hour.""I don't know, what a damn saloon is, or a happy hour. But if we're tired from running we aren't going to hold our own when-""Hey! Nice of yall to get yourselves tired! Now step away from the cart and let's not do anything stupid."I turn back to the road, and i spot about six men there, all of them had ragged cloaks, look like they haven't washed in weeks, and no one looked like the other. There was however only two with bows and the rest were about ten paces from me."Well! You gonna move! You fucking porter!">Well, can't exactly allow the mail to be intercepted now can we.>How you wanna start fighting, give me your 1d100's And only roll one, that mean's you. >>6296869
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>6296882
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>6296882>>How you wanna start fightingNo words, we get in to a proper dueling stance and then quickdraw our revolver and put lead in between their eyes. Six bullets for six heads.
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>6296882>So anyways, I started blastingNot like an arrow can kill us again
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>6296882Porter? By Jove we're much more than that. This disrespect is intolerable and their presence irksome. >>6296884>mf activated deadeye
> 90, critical range success.At the insult to my profession, I take one step forward and free my arms from the cart. I glance between the six targets in front of me and adjust stand with my left leg in front of my right and hand just over my revolver."I sai' ta-"I Don't even let the shitbag finish his sentence before i draw, my thumb cocks the hammer and as the barrel leaves the holster i orient it to the first archer.BANG!!! CRACK![b/] His head is split open by the bone shattering wrath of sir Colt's finest work. There's no pause as my left hand comes splade to the hammer and quickly uses my thumb to work the hammer. My right adjust the gun ever so slightly and i fire another shot at the next archer, who loses an eye and the back of his head. This repeats as the rest of my four fingers fan the hammer. Four more bullets spit out of the revolver rapidly as heads snap and jerk with the sudden impact of a rapid escort to gods judgement seat.A quick spin of my revolver in my hand an i flick the cylinder open before the bodies hit the ground. Emptying the spent casing into my hand i pocket the, and start reloading the gun. Haven't even looked behind me but i can feel the eyes burning into the back of my head. "And that's why you don't FUCK[b/] with the mail." I say as i holster the gun. A step back and i get the cart and continue on the way. Letting the spectators catch up as they will.It's some fifteen minutes before i notice they had caught up, some holding some stuff from the bandits. Another five before Wun would approach my flank. "Henry, was it? When we get to town, we'll need you to speak with the guild head.""What 'bout.""Look, you being in that dungeon makes more work for us. Our job was only to find and eliminate the necromancer. Finding out there's a sentient undead there. One that can kill six men in a blink, and isn't a shambling animal? That demands the guild investigate. Something we wouldn't be able to do with the supplies we have or how quickly they were depleting.">???
>>6296901>"Can't just forget to mention me, can ya? What's it really matter that a feller walked outta there you weren't expecting? Besides, if y'all're so surprised to see me talkin' what're the odds they'll know any better anyway? Probably better off prayin' for answers. Big Guy don't like to answer much though, such is His privilege. "Man, we go through ammo like shit through a goose. Damn bandits. We gotta source some powder, lead and brass, stat. They got saltpeter in France, right? We could work with that. Probably.
>>6296906You have realized a pitfall before you stumbled into it.
>>6296910gahdamn reloadin killin mah killin spree
>>6296910how many bullets do we even have
>>6296921Henry will take inventory in the next scene.
vote closed, writing
I lift my mask to i can spit on the ground, away from Wun's feet. Lowering it back down i turn to him. "So, ya can't just forget to mention me none? What's it really matter that a feller walked outta there ya weren't expectin'?" Seems my question is met with a disapproving shake of the head."Impossible, You don't know the risk associated do you?" He asks, seeming more rhetorical than a serious question as he continued. "You're not alive, your dead, and talking undead are almost exclusively necromancers that chose to become lichs. You haven't so much as shown a hint at being a mage beyond that. . wand-like weapon of yours, and Izzilra is certain it's no wand." "Wand, that something witches use?" *I ask.*"Yes, but not exclusive to them, it's a magical tool. That's besides the point. You aren't a caster, you don't use magic, that rules out you having done this to yourself knowingly. Which is more of a problem. Necromancers don't raise what they can't control. So you were either raised by something in that dungeon we haven't found, summoned by something we don't know of. What if there's something raising an undead army and you were one of it's many conjured beings? What if it's a rogue magical array? Or some mad project of a coven of warlocks?"As he speaks I take stock of what i have on my person, it's not much.inventory> Colt .44 double action> .44 Ammo x24> spent 44 casings x12> canteen of water, four fifths full.> twenty dollars in bills and change.> Case of seven cigars, with cutter and lighter> Empty postman's bag> coat, jeans, boots, shirt, hat.> Leather armor, hood, and mask."Ya know all this is goin over my head, and i don't think ya need me to look into it. Aside from that if y'all're so surprised to see me talkin' what're the odds they'll know better anyway? And for what's brought me here to, better off praying for answers. Big guy don't like to answer much though, such is his privilege i reckon.""The fact is you reek of decay, and even if you fix the stench you give off the kind of magic that magician's like Izzilra and Elves like Carcina would identify you immediately. Most won't be so kind as to assume you're not a creature seeking victims." Wun finishes by thumbing behind himself. "To be honest I'm less worried about you more worried about anyone acting in good faith to stop you."We approach a bridge and on the other side is a large wooden wall. "Look, Henry, let me do the talking, we'll head right to the guild hall, it'll be better that way." He says. The four guards at the gate are wearing some heavy armor, and i can see on the walls behind him several men with crossbows. I can make out the village behind some places where the walls are lower around the natural moat. This place seems kinda asian to be in europe.> ???
>>6296981best find some way to exchange our money for local currencywe don't have a way to shoot out the whole town and we should rectify that, ask around for chemists, we already know what powder is made from shouldn't be hard to fill up those empty casingsi guess we remain as a delivery man, guild should help clear up the troubles with our state
>>6296981>> twenty dollars in bills and change.Damn, we're fuckin loaded.>>6296996Yeah I'll back this. Since we're getting roped into talking to the fuckass LAW round here we may as well try to figure out if anyone can put rocks together to make the right kind of flash powder. Also, source some oil. Good for keeping moving parts unrusted. And we're probably gonna need it for our less than wonderful skincare routine from now on.Undead postman. Even faster delivery. Overnight shipping still costs extra.
"Yeah yeah. Fehkam. I'll just hang on and look pretty.""Heh, I get it cause your face is. . uh." I keep glaring at him through the mask as his laughter fades. "I'll just go talk to those guys over there."While he talks with the guards i lean against the cart and cross my arms, looking out at the marsh waters. I do catch sight of a gator thing moving through the water. Almost like it's waiting for someone to dip into the drink for it to get a free meal. My nature gazing is cut short as we're ushered past the gate.Walking through the gate i start to get a picture of what Carcina meant when she said this place operates on a loss. the whole thing looks run down and barely working. I've seen near abandoned boomtowns that were in better shape. There's at least two buildings that seem to be in a good state of upkeep, and we seem to be heading to one. Most of the people milling about seem to take notice of us but don't approach. i do see a woman with ears like Carcina's run for the other well kept building. Guess they were right about us spooking some people.As we're walking i turn to Iwanna and ask him a few questions. "Say, there wouldn't happen to be anything like a general goods store or a bank here? I don't know if my money will be taken here.""Money? You mean coins? I mean, nobody really cares what the gold or copper is, it's all counted the same.""Don't know about gold but i have a few pennies. Still, shops here?""Mostly guild sponsored merchants. Not much comes out here, after all this place is mostly kept to grow the herbs needed for potions. There's nothing else of value out here and the roads are tough.""Great. Would any of them at least be a chemist?""Like an alchemist? Oh, uh, yeah we have one here. They're more research focused than making stuff." At least theres some good news here.We finally arrive at this "Hall", the cart left out front and i'm directed inside. It looks like a saloon on one side, but directly stepping in there's a desk with paper filled shelves all around the back of it. The lady at the desk waves to us as we walk in, at least until she see's me. She looks like she see's a ghost for a moment but Wun walks forward and starts a conversation. I go to a wall and lean on it while i take out a cigar to smoke. Only just before i cut the cigar I realize i have this damn mask blocking me from actually smoking. The saloon is unfortunately packed too, so no chance of taking it off now. "Dammit." i say, stowing my case and lower my head and wait."S-Sir Henry?" a unfamiliar voice calls over. It's the desk lass."What?""C-could you follow me to the Branch Master's office."I nod, and follow upstairs to see a man wearing specs with his elbows on the table and hands clasped waiting behind the desk. "Wun says you seem clueless on most things and i frankly don't have reason not to believe him. So lets start this can of worms with an open question, what can you tell me?" No introductions? rude.> ???
>>6297041>"Well I can tell ya we both speak English. And that y'all apparently ain't even got a centralized postage system. Oh right, I'm also dead but still walking, that one's definitely new to me, we ain't got that where I'm from, talking or not. Or lighting hands, floating lizard ladies, and big swords ain't quite in fashion like they were a half century back. We got midgets though."I dunno what to tell the guy. Especially since asking someone "What's normal for you" usually gets a head scratcher since you only ever really notice the abnormal.
>>6297057+1
"Well I can tell ya we both speak English. And that y'all apparently ain't even got a centralized postage system. Oh right, I'm also dead but still walking, that one's definitely new to me, we ain't got that where I'm from, talking or not. Or lighting hands, floating lizard ladies, and big swords ain't quite in fashion like they were a half century back. We got midgets though.""Hmmn. Peculiar. We're speaking in common but you used a word that doesn't exist as it's label. I'll inquire about this 'postage' later but more interesting i find the lack of prior knowledge of the undead. Common magic you find unfamiliar. As do non-human races." He reaches for a drawer, pulling it open and taking out a few rolled up papers that look like maps. He open's them up and. . . "What the?" I have to take a few minutes to process what i'm seeing and tilt my head."And when presented with maps of the local area and continent you are baffled. I take it you don't even recognize landmasses?""No shit, none of these are anything that i've seen on the globe." "My pardon, globe?"". . What, you've never seen a globe of the earth?""No. How does this relate to maps?""It's a map of the entire world. None of this is on it. and we would know we explored the entire thing." ". . . Hmmn." The old man leans back in his chair. "Stay and chat while, i'll be taking notes.""Oh sweet bleeding Christ."The next several hours drag on. And i mean hours. This guy wanted to know as much as he could about my country and the history of exploration that i did know of. He seemed a bit irked when he realized i wasn't a fucking know it all scholar but talking about how we lived seemed to be something he took interest in enough to write down.I ended up learning plenty too. Apparently midgets aren't even human here in a very literal way. Though that just sounds wrong. The way he put it seemed nicer. Pointy ears are elves. And turns out their idea of medicine is drink magic juice and you bleeding wounds close up. Makes me really happy the last six guys i shot were hit in the head.I also learned that apparently, I'm illiterate here. Nobody here uses the same alphabet or even numbers i do. Although tally marks are recognized. Still I don't appreciate the casual insult to my intelligence he gave me at the end there. (cont)
Frustratingly enough though there's no europe or asia here either. I'm not even on earth anymore it seems. Looks like i'm stranded on a continent called Torip, on a world the locals call Idenea. As for the local country i'm in, it's a broke tributary called Ributesland."Wait a minute old timer. You're telling me this place is a tributary, named tribute land without the T. . . Was this whole thing set up as-.""-Yes yes, Henry. Very observant. This place was made a kingdom by the Jin Dynasty of the empire of Jinland, with the express purpose of serving as a tributary. You know our industry here. You know our poverty, you can probably guess the reason for it." he waves his hand dismissively. "It's late, the sun has long since set. And i grow tired. Back to how you got here, I have no idea. But if you wish to return to this Earth of yours the best way to do so may be to scour that ruin you crawled out of. That will take time to organize."Right. You also never game me your name.""Shawk.""Right, Shock. So i can't sleep since i got here. What do i do?"". . . Anything not illegal or disruptive to the locals if you'd please. I can offer you a room to stay in. Otherwise please just don't cause a disturbance."he got up and opened the door to his office. I take my que to get up and walk out. Looks like i have hours to kill. eight if not more. How do i spend them?>???
>>6297116dead dudes dont sleep right?does practicing draw speed even do anything anymore assuming the muscles are done growing well since... they're dead?
>>62971161) Ask the people who brought you here for some cash, you reckon you deserve a cut for that corpse wizard and those highwaymen2) "Marinate" yourself in booze to conceal the smell3) See what they have instead of poker here
Caught up to the quest. Let's try to play card and scam them out of said gold n silver.
>>6297119>>6297125>>6297177I'm not sure what else to do so i end up wandering down the stairs and looking around the saloon. Empty. Not a soul down here. So much for buying a bunch of booze to lather up with, if they take my currency. I end up facing a wall and decide to test my reflexes. It's a nice distraction, trying to see if i can get myself to move quicker.As nice as being 'dead' is for some things. This is really proving to not be one. I can't get my muscles to work faster, in fact it seems the only way I'm improving is just finding a more efficient path of movement. That alone has been interesting but the lack of a way to really improve beyond moving correctly is frustrating.I put the hours to good use, spinning, drawing, holstering my Colt. The practice is at least refreshing what i know and making it easier to do with each pass. Though it grows stale after a while.As i go about practicing my quick quick draw posture, i do hear footsteps from the staircase at the other end of the building. "That is an odd way to stand, as if your presenting your crotch to the wall for some reason." Feminine, soft, flowy. I assume it's Carcina and turn to look. Yep, it's the elf."Just a way to draw and faster." I say as i get back to a normal standing posture. "Not even sunrise yet, you're up early.""We elves are only 'asleep' for four hours. Any amount of time after is laziness.""Good to know. Say, you lot had a price on the head of that Necro sorcerer right?""Necromancer, yes.""Any chance i can claim a piece of that pie?""Pie? I don't understand.""A cut of the reward money. Is it possible to claim some myself?""Not without a guild authorization. The guild doesn't pay out to non-members for completing it's assignments.""That's a darn shame, what about the bandits, the local sheriff have bounties on any of 'em?""Sadly Ributesland is too poor to have it's lawkeepers offer rewards for bandits. It's mostly a case of 'you loot the thieves and what you can sell their ill gotten gains for is your pay for removing them.""Jeez. . . I should have ran their pockets.""Fret not, we set aside some of what we sold for to act as your cut. You were the one that took down all six after all.""Quite neighborly of you." I rub the bottom of the mask with my thumb as i think. "Do they have gambling here?""Mostly dice games but i can't recommend it. Was that your preferred way to pass time in life?""One of many, but i'd prefer a card game.""Perhaps if the paper here weren't so easy to damage as to expose the cards and easily track them." She giggles and would turn to look at the paperwork counter. "Have you considered attempting to join the adventurers guild? My sister would be up soon, giving her a headache from ink and paper sounds like an excellent way to slight my sibling."> Join the guild?> Collect your pay and Skip to sunrise?> ask about magic or other stuff?> ???
>>6297230> Join the guild?back to ferrying parcel again> ask about magic or other stuff?
>>6297230>>6297232Yeah what this guy said. Too bad we didn't die with a rifle in hand. Being able to reach out and touch someone that was a speck on the horizon would be useful. Especially for game hunting. The good news is, we could get some of the parts for a firearm hand made with some oversight. Even Romans had pipes. And the difference between a water pipe and the barrel of a gun is largely just material strength and pressure tolerances. Things like hammers and sears and triggers are simple enough too. But the finer mechanisms and moving parts would be damn near impossible to replicate without having specialized knowledge and examples on hand. Thank goodness bullets are dead simple. Maybe we'll get lucky and find a mad Gnome tinkerer who invented the pocket watch or something. That'd be useful.
>>6297232I wanna be a postman/adventuring. Postmanning by night for cash, then adventuring by day.>Magicespecially, ask if we have some potential for it or anything.We really need to learn to read.
I recall the description Shock gave of the way the guild works. If one of the things it does often is letter and parcel delivery it sounds like a good way to get myself back on my feet. "You know what, i'll take you up on that. I need a way to get myself back on a trail and well paid.""There's a good spirit. Then we just have to wait.""While we're waitin' then lass, s'all right with you if i ask about this magic stuff? How's it work? Is there a way i can do that lightning show with my fingers the other guy did?""Ha ha. Ah, i'm a poor study on magic, but for how it works, it works in three ways. You have an innate ability to work it, you are looked favorably upon by a deity, and they perform their miracles through you, or you make a deal with something less than savory but powerful enough to give you their magics.""That last one sounds a bit too close to selling your soul for power to me. You get devil worshipers that way?"Her eyes widen a bit as she responds with a bit too much enthusiasm. "Oh, absolutely. Far too many in fact, they often become a problem. thankfully they are normally on the weaker side of things.""Well shit. . Guess i'll be careful who i shake hands with. Anyway, that innate talent thing there a way to test for it?""Oh, want to see if you can become a mage do we?" She says with a chuckle. "Just so happens part of registration is an aptitude test. You'll find out soon enough."Sure enough the sound of feet on wood can be heard from upstairs, and the desk lass is coming down the stairs. "Well, speak of the devil.""Devils? There shouldn't be-GASP!!" Poor thing, she practically throws her back into the wall in shock the minute she see's me."Hahaha! Sister. Come now, is that any way to greet your applicants!" Carcina says, with a grin far too wide and far too toothy for me to look at with a sense of ease."Lord have mercy on me, you're that kind of sibling." I state looking at Carcina, who takes it with a laugh.(Cont)
Halfway through the explanations of what i was agreeing to i start to wish i could start falling asleep from boredom. This is the kind of paperwork nightmare only some decrepit old European town could come up with to make the lives of the average working man hell. Signed agreements to free the guild of responsibility if i get maimed? Why would they be liable in the first place? Not like they're asking me to do anything that isn't already inherently dangerous. Who's idea was all this waiver shit?A-and that c-concludes the p-preliminary sc-screening. . she takes the signed document and puts another paper in front of herself. "Oh. . oh no. um.""What now?" I asked, with no attempt to hide my exasperation."T-this forum has a a number of in the event of death clauses. and. . fuuuu!" Of fucking course.". . Can you just list me as 'undead' or whatever and put in a note that i'm only considered dead if my corpse is unanimated?"You would think that would be obvious but she continues. "But, but if y-you're, de-i mean rekilled, if th-that happens a-and some- someone were to an-animate y- your corpse.""huh, didn't think of that one. Can't you just pass that problem up the chain? We do that all the time back home.""W-what?"Carcina pinches her brow and jumps in taking the paper from her sister and filling it in. "He means you just do things as right as possible and let the people who's job it is to worry about it handle it. Elders sake sis!""S-S-Sorry! Fuuu!"Some ten minutes later Lissandra as i learn Carcina's sister is named, went to the back, returning with a ball on a pedestal. "Is this what i think it is?" I ask, looking to the less nervous of the two."Yep, aptitude testing magical device. Will give us a readout of everything you're actually good at and tell us if you can do any magic. I have a feeling it's gonna tell us you got some skill with Archery!""S-set y-your hand on the d-d-device and d-don't look at the light." Lissandra said, as she slipped a piece of paper with many boxes on it into a slot. I'd do as requested and wait as a small crank handle is turned. (Cont again.)
> Henry P. Jameson > Undead Human, male, 29> Summary> Overall Ability assessment: D Rank.> Combat Assessment: D Rank> Crafter assessment: C Rank> Support assessment: A Rank> Magic ability Assessment: N/A> Abilities: Support> Hunting B> Fishing B> Sailing D> Riding S> Cannonry S> Mining D> Pathfinding A> Abilities: Crafting> Smithing C> Carving C> Alchemy A> Leatherwork B>Abilities: Combat> Brawling B> Melee weapons C> Archery DMagic: No aptitude.Well, this is odd. "Eh. . Eh . . . What?" Carcina asks, looking over my shoulder at the sheet. she can't seem to believe what she's seeing."We-well it seems you're not suited for um. Most work really. . We could refer you to the crafter guild hall in the mining town of Limeprison? or maybe the docks of Bilebroth Gulf as a shiphand?""Is this paper going to stop me from ferrying parcel and letters?""No! N-No that would be one of the few assignments we would be allowed to give you with a distribution like this.">???
>>6297308>carry a Smith & Wesson, the gun that made all men equal>support classWell I guess we support people, into the afterlife. By shooting them to death.>"No! N-No that would be one of the few assignments we would be allowed to give you with a distribution like this.">'Mighty fine, I say. I ain't never was one to disappoint Ben Franklins fine institution. I'll take the job. Oh, I'm gonna need an advance on that first paycheck. I needs me some 'utilities' before I set out if that's alright with you."
>>6297313+1"Could you magic me into learning to read? I'd also like to meet an Alchemist, if you have that kind of fellow sitting around".
>>6297308>>6297313>>6297314Yessirs to alla this. Also had a thought, since we don't get tired, if we ever get into a 1v1 with someone we could just circle and harass them until they pass out or die of exhaustion. Imagine a corpse with a knife sidestepping around you and lunging at you for ten hours. Can't put your sword down, can't let him get behind you. Damn. Persistence hunting turned up to 11. Ah man we're also gonna need to get a horse. But will a live horse jive with a dead guy riding it? Probably not. But where are we gonna find an undead horse? Or a nightmare. Classic "evil" horse hours.
>>6297317that's if they get too close to shoot or we run out of bullets
>>6297308>>6297313+1This is good really. Our secret weapon has a limited supply of ammo- better to avoid deliberate combat.
>>6297317We need to figure out how to make an undead horse to revolutionize mail delivery.>>6297321We should comission an Officer's Cavalry Saber for special occasions where we don't want to shoot people immediately.
>>6297328>go into swordsmith shop>ask for a saber>they bust out some chunky little curved chopper>confusionkekIf we do get undead horse, would you prefer skeletal or zombie? I've always been partial to skeleton horses myself, but having a zombie horse that still has a fine mane is tight.
'Mighty fine, I say. I ain't never was one to disappoint Ben Franklin's fine institution. I'll take the job. Oh, I'm gonna need an advance on that first paycheck. I needs me some 'utilities' before I set out if that's alright with you.""P-Pay Check? What?""He means he wants to get money up front so he can get the gear to do the job. Better just get his sign up vouchers and get a delivery quest ready. Although given what we found you'll have one for him by the end of the day.""Oh-Ok, h-hang on." The elf girl leaves the desk and heads to the back of the office space behind the saloon floor, she returns with a small bagged pack of things. "F-five rations, i don't think you'll need those. a w-waterskin. a-and some torches an oil. . W-we have one voucher for weapons and one for armor, re-redeemable with the town smith. a-and a penned order fo-for our local alchemist. H-here's a t-town map as well. Please c-come back to pick up your guild tags."I take the pack looking it over i give the girl a nod. "Thank you Lissandra, Have a good day, ya hear?" I say before turning to go, i've been wanting to see the chemist and now a reason to see the smith? Added bonus, might get round to solving my ammo issue right quick."Y-yes my ears work.""Heh. You tagging along Carcina? Otherwise i can't read.""I would if not just to keep an eye on you, but i have a matter to deal with from the bandits." She holds up these bronze plate, the small kind you wear on a wrist."th-those are g-guild tags! Oh no! W-was a member killed by one?""Nope, They died working with bandits. Guess you have to fill our more forms sis!~""Fuuuuuuuu!""Alright. So about the reading? Is there a Magical solution?""Not a magic i ever heard of, sorry Henry. Gonna have to learn the way everyone else does i'm afraid. maybe the Alchemist here would be happy to teach you?"I nod. "C'ya then." I can practically hear Lissandra exhale with relief as i leave. Oh well. At least now i can get shit done and get back to earning some dollars.> Go to the Alchemist> Go to the Smith> Look for someone else?> ???
>>6297337>> Go to the AlchemistSee if he can make powder. See if he can teach us to read and/or to mix up stuff until other stuff goes bang
>>6297337> Go to the SmithI've been convinced to get a cavalry saber. Or to commission a Bowie knife if Henry has any facility with 'em
>>6297337>> Go to the AlchemistIf nothing else, we can write down words and numbers and put what they mean in English next to them. Just the important stuff like you'd see on signage. Also even if he can't make the right kind of powder, making flash powder is much much easier and you can use it to make grenades. A clay pot with fast burning powder will still ruin your day if it pops near you. But an iron shell full of it? Ouch.>>6297339I think commissioning anything would probably take anywhere from a day to a week. Especially if it's an unfamiliar design. Probably best to pick up a generic ready made thing first, then get to brass tacks later.
>>6297331only fitting that a skeleton gets a skeletal horse
>>6297337>Go to the AlchemistWe need powder to make our enemies go boom first and foremost. We can have the Smith make the actual bullets and casings later.>>6297331Skeletal of course, with a heavy cloak to boot. Bonus points if we can make it emit a small amount of fog or if it somehow was slightly luminescent. Anything to make us look more like death incarnate to contrast the mundanity of our job.>approaching a bunnygirl from behind on the roadside just outside a rural town with dastardly intent to deliver>the lamp near the roadside flickers and dims slightly as we approach>'Excuse me stranger, might you be a Miss Hoppington of Cottontail Hill?', we rasp out>she's entirely frozen with fear>shrinks down, ears completely flat against the back of her head, eyes wide in desperate panic as she turns around to meet our gaze>colour drains completely from her face>lips trembling slightly>she says nothing>politely wait for her to answer>she doesn't>'Pardon me, you must've not heard me before.'>lean in closer>'Are you Miss Hoppington?' we say, slightly slower this time>she nods feverishly as she's snapped out of her frozen state, terror never leaving her eyes>we stretch back towards our saddlebag>bunnygirlheartrate300beatsperminute.jpg>pull out letter>hand it over>'That'll be fifteen copper pieces for delivery, madam.'>receive payment>'You take care now, you hear.'>leave without elaborating
>>6297360kek. GRAVE NEWS comes.
>>6297308> Cannonry Sso cannons are canonso gunpowder is a thing, just need to find an alchemist
> Alchemist wins.Following the directions on the map i make my way up the road. I find myself in front of a shop with a mortar and pestle for a sign. I push the door open and step inside. "Pardon me?""Yes we're op-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!" Christ! My ears would be bleeding if they still worked that way! "Guards! Priest! Anyone!" Damn. I can't catch a break. She's clearly one of those elves, i didn't know they had negress elves though. "I don't want to go back!" Huh?"What devilry is compelling such a racket you wretch?" A dry seemingly apathetic voice says from behind me. Turning slightly i can see what looks like one of them gaudy european catholic priests from Mexico. Oh great, I spot Freemantle coming this way too. Is going to turn into a cluster fuck.>???
>>6297378>"Steel yerself woman I'm just here to buy supplies! I don't care how black y'are, I don't even know if they have plantations 'round here, let alone which one you'd get taken to."I can't wait for this to fail and we have to hit the priest and the midget with one of these.
>>6297384kek, bumped
>>6297378>>6297384Kek, +1
Maybe they're in the same circumstance some of those pre-civil war negros were in when they fled out west and missed the fighting in the wilderness. "Steel yourself woman! I'm just here to buy supplies! I really don't care how black y'are." As i say that a bunch of glass and bottles are thrown at me. I duck out of the way and some spot on the floor starts to smoke but not like it's on fire."have you gone mad?" Ask the priest as he takes a pace back from the Acid."I wont return alive! I'd sooner make your rotting carcass drag mine than return to Maven's Orchard!""Miss! I didn't even know they had plantations 'round here, Let alone which one you'd get taken to." She screams as several wood bowls and a chair are sent sailing past me and into the wall of the shop.The priest at this point seemed to catch at least one word she said and I notice a hand reach for the back of my head.>roll me some 1d100's. One per person, Bo4, put on some benny hill type shit if this passes.
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>6297506It's rude to grab the back of a man's head you know. Unless you're a pretty woman looking to suck face of course.
>>6297506
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>6297509fuck forgot dice
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>6297506
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>6297506
>>6297508>It's rude to grab the back of a man's head you know. Unless you're a pretty woman looking to suck face of course.The dice have spoken, this is fact.>80, non-critical success of very difficult evasion check.>https://youtu.be/NV0KDyTcCasQuickly i manage to pull my head forward and turn around, bumping my ass on one of the shop islands as a hand sails past where my head was. "Woah! Pardner! Lets just-"i manage to duck and cover my eyes as salts are thrown at me and the priest. It's a good thing i cover them before these salts suddenly went blindingly bright, crackled, and blinded the holy man, who just decided to start swinging his hands as even they started glowin. I roll back over the table and land next to the clerk's space near the back of the workshop where the chemist table are all. And unfortunately the priest is still comin. "Get back here you! I'll scour your undead filth and that gods forsaken reprobate!"Well, as things took a more personal turn i start backing away behind the counter with my back to dat negress alchemist. Of course still persuin that none-actually-catholic priest started swinging a sword of light around that shattered a few glass things and made a mess of the place. I dodge his last overhead blow by quickly ducking and rolling under the Alchemist's skirt.I Hear a door open but dont have much time to pay attention to it as i feel a slightly above average weight land upon my back, followed by a hot and unpleasant feeling behind me as and waddle out from the back of the counter. I do manage to spot out of the corner of my eye flames where i had previously been but they're too yellow and make me nauseous. "AAAAAH!! NO!! PUT ME DOWN!!""MISS! I'D LOVE TO BUT LETS NOT DIE FIRST!""I'LL PUT YOU BOTH DOWN FOR GOOD IF YOU JUST STAND ST-" the priest's threat gets cut off as he makes a high pitched sound that wouldn't be out of place from a goose getting a spontaneous ballistic vasectomy. I glance back and see Radnek Fucking Freemantle standing over when the priest was on the ground clutching the family jewels.What have ye been told aboot slinging spells around guild assets ye stubborn old codger? we only 'ave tha one alchemist, ye think tha guild can afford ta replace all her shit? bad enough we have ta share tha only church building but can ya nae make us all look stupid!" He then looks to me. "Henry! ye been touched by tha wrath an spite o' holy light let ye abomination?""Uh, Sir no sir. Bless my soul.""Be glad it ain't been. Just get yeself ta tha guild hall 'afore sundown, shawk's gonna want ta see ya. An' set miss Gloambriar down when ya can."Suddenly aware of the woman on my back I squat a bit lower. Letting her off She ends up stumbling back and falling on her ass as she hyperventilates.(Cont)
After a moment longer of the midge-Dwarf, scolding the other priest in the room I look back to the Elf Negress. "You ok miss?""W-what is this thing, Radnek!?" The Alchemist demands."What it looks like, a talkin corpse.""Hi, My names Henry.""Geh!- I fled Maven to get away from things like this? Why is, THIS here?!""I dinna have tha slightest idea, he showed up while we were killin a necromancer an' shot said necromancer. What be ye even here for anyway henry?""I came to use this voucher." I said fishing the voucher for a starting set of potions out of my bag and held it out for Radnek to see. Only for him to go red in the face. "SHAWK YOU BASTARD! I'M GONNA HAVE WORDS!" He shouted before turning from the shop and dragging his fellow priest behind him."Well. . . Um. . I turn back to the Alchemist. Ms. Gloambriar was it?""Y-Yes?">Well, this is awkward, what do i say?
>>6297586>I'm the market for powders that go boom, and if not mistaken ma'am you threw saltpeter at me.
>>6297586>>6297587+1>I'd also like to try said potions, checking if they work fine on me or are actually hindrance.>Last, but not least, I've been evaluated as A - for Adequate? Alchemist potential. I'd love to be taught to craft and read - wait forget that one, niggas can't, sorry.
>>6297588S - SuperbeA - AdequateB - BasicC - ClumsyD - Disappointing
>>6297586Just as an aside, Gloambriar is thus far the prettiest name we've come across kek.>>6297587>>6297588Pretty much this. May as well put some tonic in our hair. Er, scalp. Uh, skull? And there were definitely some whatsits and whosists that burned, bubbled and sizzled. That means you can make em explode. Also the casual racism being misinterpreted as "They don't teach your kind how to read." an elf jab and not a black jab lmao and then she says they don't, because they don't, but she taught herself and Henry can be impressed. None the wiser.
>>6297590And the prettiest one too - according to pic linked.Now, it raises questions... Such as have Henry a sex drive? Able of romantic feelings? Did he before unlife?
>>6297591I'm sure his loins did loining things when he was alive. Only natural. Now that he can't quite feel things I'm sure it would put a huge damper in those kinds of feelings. Even if the mind is there, the buddy ain't. Software with no hardware. Oh yeah, the priest here said "gods". I can't wait to tell him that our Sky Man is better because there's only one of em and he has no competition. Watch the priest get so pissed off he actually has an aneurysm and dies.
>>6297592>Even if the mind is there, the buddy ain't. Software with no hardware. Well if we're going this way we CAN be a weirdo to alleviate the lack of hardware. and there might be some things to do regarding that, and food, and whatnots.
Hmn, that's what i get for being lazy.Correction to inventory> M1877 Colt Double action revolver. > .41 long colt ammo x24> Spent casing x12.I turn my head before clearing my throat, then continuing. "I'm in the market for Powders that go boom. And if i'm not mistaken you threw saltpeter at me." "You, you actually recognized the reagent?""Sure did. I was hoping to pick up some of that, some charcoal, and some sulfur. Also figure out if those potions on those vouchers would even work on me, or if they'd be a hindrance.""I can understand the experiment. . Those reagents though? Saltpeter is used for flash bombs and charcoal can purify fluids or use as fuel for a fire, but sulfur? that normally isn't used for anything but mages casting fireball or other spells that involve flames. You don't seem to have the mana of a mage.""It's a bit to explain.""I see, Was that all?""Well, i'd also like to learn to do more chemistry and read. . er, Sorry, forgot, you probably wouldn't know how to-""I can read just fine, what the dark elves of Torip lack in educational institutions we more than make up for in self study and trial by necessity.""Oh! Well color me impressed. Guess i need to catch up, Know my alphabet but not the one these folks round here use.""Knowledge has a price you know. You're putting together a bigger bill than the voucher and using you as a research subject can cover."> Trade the secret of black powder for alchemy and reading lessons.> Give away the secret of black powder.> Offer labor for the materials and knowledge?> ???
>>6297590>>6297591>>6297592>>6297593Entirely up to yall if you want Henry to get that Jungle(Cavern?) fever. The flesh may be dead but the mind retains all animal instinct. Can't go hungry if your stomach can't ache, but you can get horny if your mind goes there. That said our boy is a corpse, good luck seducing anything.
>>6297594>> Offer labor for the materials and knowledge?The last time we gave some, less than enlightened people the power of guns it kind of went rather poorly for us. Ironic as that is since it was the primitive tools they had what did us in. But here, with no lungs, eyes, sinuses or even pain sensation, we can brew shit that would normally be extremely hazardous and require much preparation and we could probably do it in a closet, to boot. We can spend the night fixing up the storefront and mixing up whatever was lost that can be replaced with what's on hand.>>6297593I dunno man. Then we'll wind up chasing the feeling. Like them Chinese and their opium. >>6297595>constantly getting a hankerin for some lovin>can't even get to first base if he had a face>the frustration of being cockblocked by your own body drives you to being on that grindset and doing random shit to keep your mind occupied 24/7The monkey, it becomes skilled. zoz
>>6297594>Trade the secret of black powder for alchemy and reading lessons.
>>6297596+1 on materials and knowledge.I'll see later for degeneracy; thanks for the answer qm
>>6297594> Trade the secret of black powder for alchemy and reading lessons.> Offer labor for the materials and knowledgewe still haven't figured out how to make primer capsoff to the blacksmith next
>>6297595>>6297596getting satisfaction from a ladies own should suffice for nowhands not only built for gunslinging and putting a smooth pole down there cant be that hardi am still hoping we evolve into a vampire with a working peener
>>6297594>Offer labor for the materials and knowledge?Giving out gunpowder to civilization that ain't ready for it would spell a mighty heap of trouble. We better keep the boom recepie for ourselves for as long as possible else it could have disasterous consequences.
>>6297625wait thinking about it> Cannonry Sbut no gunpowder?magic cannons?
>>6297632Likely refers to our skill as a gunslinger, rather than an actual skill at cannoneering. The earliest handheld firearms where called 'Hand cannons' after all, a moniker that the larger calibers of pistols unofficially maintain to this day.
>>6297594>> Offer labor for the materials and knowledge?
Good morning /qst/.>Offer labor for the materials and knowledge."Well Lass, I suppose i can throw in helping clean up the shop. And then if you need stuff picked up or sent somewhere i can handle that.""I'll have more than one request in that case."We come to a good enough agreement to get what i'm asking for, the next hour is spent righting the shop, I manage to get my black powder ingredients without giving away what it will do or how to mix it. I also end up with a scroll filled with symbols i don't recognize and sounds penned in a way i can recognize. It seems i'll have a job next time i'm out, but at least i have something that will let me start learning how to read that weird scratch mark script they use here.As for the matter of currency it seems US dollars aren't likely going ot be something i can exchange for anything. I might be able to pawn the good old fiat currency to a merchant that would have an interest in foreign coinage but i sure as heck can't get the value out of em. Stupid metals based economy. We get around to the matter of potions before i leave. I'm given a paper cut i can't exactly feel and a small half-shot of the liquid. "Bottoms up." Taking the sip I lean back and wait, looking at the ceiling for a moment and then i look down to my finger where the cut is before looking to Gloambriar. "Not a cottonpicking thing" "I see, Then that confirms the traditional healing potion is interacting with things that cease to function in the undead.""Well than. What do we do about recoverin' from injury when we're walkin' dead meat? stitching?""Typically a necromancer does repair his undead slaves in such a manner. But it's not the only thing. Introducing necrotic energy to the subject may induce a form of repairs in the way a cleric introducing holy magic to a person has beneficial effects. It's be a case of finding the right magic and creating it's naturally occurring material invocation.""Lot of big words goin' over mah head so i'll just take that as 'beat the answers out of another necromancer'." "More that we would need to force one to test their spells on you and then question them about the spell.""Lovely. You been a help, but i need to get.""Remember our agreement, your next lessons will cost you two bags of slime weed."With that i start headn' ta the blacksmith.(Cont. But roll me 1d100's)
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>6297698Disaster surely awaits.
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>6297698
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>6297698
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>6297698WITNESS ME
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>6297698I awaken.
>>6297715I should go back to sleep.
>>6297715Game over.
>>6297708>>6297715thank god we got decent rolls countering these
At least it's best of 4 was totally gonna have children rob henry if it wasn't > failed check, function hidden.Heading to the blacksmith's i find that the people around here aren't exactly warming up to me. I'm given a wide berth, and i can tell i'm being watched from windows. At least nobody is trying to jump me.I finally arrive at the local ironworks. Well, that's too generous. its a building with a smelter, a forge, and several tables. As i approach the man pounding away at what looks to me a bar of iron he stops what he's doing and points his hammer at me. "Best keep your distance!"Raising my hands i hold up where i stand. "I ain' lookin for a fight with you mister.""Then what do you want?">Brass casings and lead ball ammo?>Use the armor voucher?>some other services?>???
>>6297728>Brass casings and lead ball ammo?>place one of the spent casings and one with the bullet still in it in front of the smith>'I need a hundred or so of these, made of brass, and the the ammunition to go with it too. See, this one over here still has the bullet in it.'>tap the bullet one lightly with a finger>'Made of lead, you see. Should be about, yay big to fit nicely in the brass shell.'>'This is precision work, even the slightest deviation can be fatal. My little lead friend needs to be all snug in his little hold, see, otherwise something bad could happen. You think you could make it?'
>>6297728>>6297740+1
>>6297740>>Brass casings and lead ball ammo?+1
Wait, where are we getting primers?
>>6297728>>Use the armor voucher?Get a breastplate. Become a cuirassier. We know these backwater guys have lots of bows. While it might not stop bullets, a nice piece of steel or even iron will turn aside arrows and blades.>>6297740What we'd really be doing is trying to get him to make a cast mould. Trying to hammer out shell casings is unbelievably finnicky and probably better asked of a jewelsmith than a blacksmith. Blacksmiths tend not to have tools made for delicate work unless you're in a big wealthy city where specialist tools for adornments are likely to be present.>>6297755also this kek
>>6297759>really be better off doing*Thanks brain.
>>6297755>where are we getting primers?No caps, we're running rimfire, that's a chemistry task, one we're at least familiar with. We'll get there soon. Thankfully blackpowder has uses outside of the bullets.>>6297740I take out my spent casing and one of the unused one's from my belt. Setting them on the edge of his fence i continue. "I hoping you'll be able to make these." The blacksmith raises a brow before approaching and taking the empty casing first. looking it over. "The bottoms engraved?" "Company markings, unimportant. The important part, take note of how thin the bottom is, the dents made when it's used. the Size of a new case has to be accurate to hold the lead ball like with the unused casing. It's-""Precision work, far too delicate to do with a hammer. Cheap metal though, even if it is an alloy. You're asking for castings to be made."I actually have to blink at that. He's right on the money. "Exactly. So what's the lead and what's the weight?""A projectile, it just needs to be round and fit in the casing.""Can i take this one apart?" He asks, tapping the unspent cartridge.>???
>>6297766On the one hand I'd rather him not. Take what he learns about the fact it's stuffed with powder and what the alchemist knows about us wanting a specific combination of chemicals and you very well could intuit the what and how of this thing. On the other hand it'd make it a lot easier to get a process set up if he did pry it open and check how it looks when it's unfired. Hm. He -should- be able to get it right with a spent casing to measure and an unspent casing to compare to even all in one piece though. He doesn't actually need to open it since if we're hand loading these we just need the lead balls to size and the casing to size so we can put the charge in it and crimp it ourselves. Maybe just pry out a bullet ourselves so he can measure it properly and that'd be enough. Naturally without a GUN they wouldn't know how to make the bullet itself work properly but that's probably the easiest thing to figure out in this whole thing. A strong metal tube so the shell itself doesn't explode is pretty simple all things considered. How paranoid we wanna be, lads?
>>6297775doubt they'd be able to figure it out that easily they haven't even invented gunpowder yet
>>6297766"I'll do it. There's some Niggerwitch alchemical fire inside so this require a bit of caution... There we go!"
>>6297806bump
"Allow me, there's some powder inside to be careful of. Really doesn't like heat." I grab the damn cartridge and fight with it for a minute. Managing to pry the stuck in fucking thing off. with my teeth. Setting the lead down I put the casing into a small piece of cloth and tie it up. "That should do it. I set the cartridge down. "The bottom of that, that's got what we call a primer lining it, the rim it's occupying needs to be hollow so i can fill it."The blacksmith sets the bullet itself back down after looking it over for a moment. Moving onto the casing he looks it over. "A mold might not even be able to do this. . How are these shaped?""Think with a press.""A press? huh. . ." The dwarf takes the spent casing and after examining it sets it on it's side and presses as hard as he can with his fingers, finding the metal easily deforming under them. "Hmmn. to get it so uniform, i can't see human's doing this with hands. . . Alright. I would do it but ah need more than just the raw materials.""What do ya mean?""I need to build a contraption to work the metal after i mold it into the thin cylinders yer asking for. So i need more Iron and Charcoal, as well as the copper and zinc used ta make da brass.""Where can i get it?"Limeprison be the closest mining town, I'd be lying if i said they're in as bad a way as we are. Orcs be on their roads more. We can't chop up too many trees for the charcoal cause o' dem, avoidin' the patrols is doable. Limeprison however, it's producing, lots o' slave labor, Orcs took more direct control cause of da metals.""So the closest mine is occupied.""Aye."> ???
>>6297820>'Well shucks, that's just typical. I am just a mailman, don't fancy my chances in a fight like that, at least if I was alone. Might head back up to the Guild house an' see if they ain't put some bounty on them, 'Orcs', was it? Maybe I can gather a posse n' go clear 'em out. Get the ore moving 'gain, as it were'>'Tell you what, we'll dispense with this here order for now. If ya can't make it due to circumstance, ya can't make it and that's nothin' to be 'shamed off. I do will be needing something else then for my own self-defense if I am going to go on a quest like that, a sword-like thing. 'Twas what that little strange doohickey what there at the guild said I would maybe do decent at, 'sides fisticuffs. I ain't gonna place some special order now, but if you got anything sleek I'd prefer that over the more bulky ones.'
"Well shucks, that's just typical. I am just a mailman, don't fancy my chances in a fight like that, at least if I was alone. Might head back up to the Guild house an' see if they ain't put some bounty on them, 'Orcs', was it? Maybe I can gather a posse n' go clear 'em out. Get the ore moving 'gain, as it were.""Possible. You want anything else?""will be needing something else then for my own self-defense if I am going to go on a quest like that, a sword-like thing, and a breastplate. 'Twas what that little strange doohickey what there at the guild said I would maybe do decent at, 'sides fisticuffs. I ain't gonna place some special order now, but if you got anything sleek I'd prefer that over the more bulky ones." "Sleek, What're ya lookin for, Short swords? Rapiers?""What about a cavalry saber?""Wait 'ere." He walks into the shot and after, oh about two minutes he comes out with this big, fat meatcleaver of a sword. "A saber was it?""What in hell is that?""'Is a Saber is what it is.""Sweet Jesus." I facepalm.> We'll take it> Thinner, longer, and curved if possible.> Other ideas ???
>>6297925>> We'll take itkek. Fuck it. Just treat it more like a hatchet than a sword. With our luck if we ask for something else we'll get GRORIOUS NIPPON STEEL and I could never.
"Fuck it, sold and the breastplate."The blacksmith grunts. I end up trading a can of beans for the sword. Took some convincing they were still good but he took it. I decide that once he finishes armoring me up and handing me my sheathed weapon it would be a good idea to get my money from the party and see what's going on at the guild.Walking in certainly could have been friendlier. Seems after i set foot in the place a few people started gettin the attention of their buddies and now i have a bunch of looky loos watching my me lean on the guild clerks counter. "eep! oh, y-your back.""Ya really aught ta relax girl. Yeah is me. Is wun and his group in, or did Shawk have something else to discuss.""Em, we're handling our relations with the local church at the moment. I think Wun's party might be at one of the tables."With that I nod and walk into the saloon, the way a few people move away from my path reminds me of something else i wanted to be at a saloon for. More than a few of the folk here look like they wanna throw down though.>Make good on getting a booze bath.>Just meet the party.>Write in always open.
>>6297970>>Make good on getting a booze bath.Just don't sit too long. We'll start melting. What's left of us anyway. And don't forget some flowers. If we're going to smell like fumes that could kill a yak with alcohol poisoning we may as well also maybe possibly have the barest hint of floral under it. It won't work.
>>6297970>Make good on getting a booze bathStep one: wet our whistleStep two: bust some heads
>>6297970>>Just meet the party.
>>6297970>Make good on getting a booze bath.make ourselves presentable
One foot in front of the other i walk through the group of patrons in guild saloon. My spurs clink and clank as i make my way to the bar counter. I arrive at a stool, i don't bother looking the bartender in the eye, he's cowering too much for that anyway. Once i'm perched and have my hands on the bar counter i tell em, "Yer strongest drink."After a second the bartender seems to steel his nerve. I was expecting a shot glass but he slaps this mug in front of me and glares. I take the mug and take a sip. Not surprising to me i don't really feel much in my mouth, just enough to tell this is stronger than any beer or cerveza i've been served. "This'll do." I say giving the bartender a nod, and taking off my mask, I start dipping my fingers into the booze and rubbing them under my chin. I repeat the process under my shirt before the new breastplate an rest my elbows on the counter once i'm done.The glaring hasn't gotten lighter but nobody's made a move yet. Until i hear the clinking of metal armor behind me. "Well now 'enry. I figured you bold on the trail but how are you not minding sitting in a tavern where half the patrons are looking at you ready to swing?" I keep a hand on the bar and look back to see Iwanna and Izzilra behind me. "Ah, you two. Yeah, ain't no different from sittin at a poker table with bad comp'ny. Heard from Carcina i'd have a payday soon.""Aye, the loot from them bandits you took down. . . And Durwald." *Iwanna sighed.* "Talk about stepping out of line at the wrong time.""Who?""He was a registered guildie. One who was stupid enough to join the bandits for some extra coin it seems." Izzilra explains. When i notice at least two people getting up from their seats and coming over. I can tell they're already reaching for weapons, and by the way they're ignoring the third man at their table i can tell this isn't gonna have a peaceful resolution.>???>You may roll your 1d100's pre-emptively, but give me actions.
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>6298059"Are you fuckers really sure you want to throw hands with us? What are you, other Highwaymen?"
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>6298059>"Y'better sit th'fuck down before I stuff this mug down yer throat, and my boot up his ass."And naturally, get ready to throw the mug right at HIS ugly mug if either of them so much as raises a fist at the lot of us.>>6298061Damn son.
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>6298059good ole fashioned bar fight!
Just need one more.
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>6298059Nat 1 incoming
>>6298084+1Finish the mug and slam it on to the table before saying it
> 94, critical range tavern brawling."Christ." I say as i down the last of my mug of beer. slamming it down on the counter. I rise from my seat on the stool, pointing with my free arm to the two approaching "Y'better sit th'fuck down before I stuff this mug down yer throat, and my boot up his ass!" "I'll kill ye ya rotting pile of ma-" Just as he starts drawing his sword launch the mug at his face like im chucking an apple for distance. I can't say exactly how hard i threw but some o' is teeth ended up across the bar floor from what i can tell.His buddy looked to his downed friend, then back to me. I give him another warning. "Are you really sure ya wan'ta throw hands wit me? What are ya, another brain'ded highwayman?"He decides to charge at me the idiot. so i squat, grab the leg of my stool, swing it on upwards. I nail him in the chin and his head turns as he starts falling sideway.I look at him a moment, satisfied to see the dumb bastard is still breathing. I glance at Izzilra and Iwanna before i look back to the rest of the guild. "Anyone else wan'ta 'ave a swing at me? We can take it outside an' i can beat yer ass unda dis day's beautiful sunlight!"Nobody gets up after that one, but from the other side of the hall i hear clapping, i look to the saloon doorway and see Shawks clapping away like he just watched a show. "Not how i would have wanted you to do it but glad to see you getting acquainted with the others. Everyone, this is Henry. His situation is part of why i've asked most of you to gather.""Ah, wonderful." *I say like a curse as i plant my stool back down and sit on it.* "Shawk's, I can tell he's a corpse so what hell is going on that it's in the town."Great question. We don't know, neither does he, what we do know is he was in the same ruin the necromancer Wun and his party entered. That is the subject of today."I look to Shawks. "You mean going back there and figuirin' out how that place ripped my ass from the US o' A and brought me to this weird fucking place?""In part, and to make sure we don't end up with an army of undead foreigners magic'd to our doorstep." Didn't think of it that way, but he has a point. That would be the worst kind of immigration i've heard of. Shawks looks to the rest of the guild. "So you understand the gravity of this situation now yes?"A rabbit eared woman stands up. "You want us to do a guild expedition, but we don't have the resources to launch one! We're still dealing with the constant orc patrol harassment!" "I know. Which is why we need to do two things." He pulls out a map. Oh lord, this is a briefing. I'm stuck in a briefing.
He points to a small hastily drawn map. "There's no getting help with limeprison without dealing with the orcs. So we need a party going around the mountains by the coastline to city of tollspass to deliver a missive to the guild hall there to rally support. Given what our newest member is, sending him alone won't be reasonable. We're going to have him go with a team of three to deliver the missive and cement the weight of the situation to our sister branch. Does anyone volunteer?"Looking around i don't see anyone raising a hand, at least i won't have to worry about people who don't know what the fuck their doing coming along ill prepared.> "In that case, Henry. You worked as your republic's royal courier equivalent in life. Pick out some party members, from this lot, you know what to look for."
square is the ruin. the mountain surrounded location is limeprison, the southern circle is tollspass, and the top circle, that's here, pikebramble.
>>6298253Well I guess since we're gonna be stomping the whole way and there's going to be a period of rough terrain we're going to want outdoorsy people. People who've been foresters or prospectors would be ideal if we can't find any actual pathfinders. But shit like geologists and foragers would be good too. You might think hunters would be good for this, and they would be, but hunters primarily excel at moving slowly and deliberately. If we wanted to stay quiet they'd be great, but if we want to move fast we're gonna want people who are used to a brisk pace through bad terrain instead.
>>6298262Honestly I reckon we would do better if we went solo. We'd be able to move faster alone, since we don't need to rest, and we can avoid patrols more easily than with a group. All we need is some information about things like woodsman's passages, trails, some quick check on dangerous wildlife and if there's a specific pass in the mountains to look out for or avoid. We've got Pathfinding A and Hunting B and enough ammunition to spare if we pick our engagements so we should be good to go solo.We'd probably also need a letter from Shawks to explain ourselves at the gates and the guilds of Tollspass, but I'm sure he'll put one together if we insist on going alone.
>>6298283That would be ideal, but if the guys on the other end decide to shoot first, read letter later, it'd be pretty bad. And considering how that priest and shopkeep reacted to us is probably rather likely.
>>6298290So the best choice then is just one companion, with knowledge of the terrain and the strength to march much of the distance with no rest. I think we could put that up as the requirement and see if anyone bites, alternatively if no one does we just take Carcina the flat elf as the companion. Elves are nature people, we'll just have to drive her like cattle during the march.
>>6298293If it weren't for the short legs I'd pick a dwarf. Alas, while strong sprinters, they are not suited for long distances kek
>>6298297Yes, I too would've forced Radnek on this march with us if his stumpy little legs wouldn't be holding us up most of the way.
"Hmmn. Alright. If she'll do it i'll take Carcina along, but i won't need a third. Just a horse or whatever you got to ride.""Oh nae ye dinna! yer nae going out alone with a lass ya putrid pig farmer! i'm going with ta make sure ya dinna go running aboot an' tainting tha land in tha name o' darker spirits!" God damnit Freemantle.I look across the tavern and see Carcina facepalming. Looking to my side i see Izzilra cupping her snout and Iwanna just shrugging. "Ahem!!" Oh Shawk is speaking. "If there's no objection Carcina?" "I'm fine with it.""Good, you, Radnek, and Henry. Go to the stables. you're lucky i consider the current situation an emergency to be allowing the use of a horse and ass. THE REST OF YOU! PREPARE TO HARVEST THE FIELDS WITH THE FARMERS!" The collective groan across the tavern could likely be heared outside of it, but it wasn't people getting up and ready for work that followed, but everyone getting weapons ready.Carcina walked over, Radnek a step behind her. "Lets get going. I don't wanna be here when Wun and Iwanna start having their competition in the weedfields.""Smart lass! come on Henry, this way!"We finally arrive and get this, a black horse and a tan mule. Not a bad horse either, though he looks like he's done more pulling work that quick riding. The ass however, doesn't like me. "HUUUUUUUUUUUUWNK! HUWNK HUWNK! HUWNK!""Satan's balls! What's his issue?""Simple Henry! Ye dinna belong here an' tha ass knows it!""And you can get bent by the angry Jackass." I say before turning my attention to the horse. Thing Glares at me and bellows with it's powerful lungs."Sir Henry, i don't think it's a good idea to try getting close to it. He seems to already regard you as a danger.">??- Oh come on, me and the lurkers all know what you lot are gonna vote to do.
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>6298337>me and the lurkers all know what you lot are gonna vote to do.Ride the elf. Piggyback, ho! Or, I dunno, make soothing noises and gentle gestures at the horse. Yer alright, boah. Dice for funsies, to see how hard we're gonna get kicked and decide to just sprint the whole way while the dainty elf gets the horse.
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>6298337>Calm the horse and donkey so you can mount up
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>6298337>Mount BOTH OF THEM by doing a spliton a 95+ turn it into backflip into split
One more dice roll,
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>6298337Dicerolling?
Yep >>6298377 Best of and i wanna keep it that way. I like even numbers.>81, Animal handling.I step close but stay out of reach of the horse. The horse gets a bit angrier as i got close so i stay back for a second. I look over at grab a piece of 'is from a bucket and simply hold it in sight of the horse but out of reach."A-Are you antagonizing it." Carcina asks. To which i have to lightly chuckle."Nah, He's scared o' me so i need em to relax, only 'atle 'appen 'round me is if i'm not movin' much and relaxed myself" Once the Horse has finished 'is grunting and stamping I give it another minute. I bring my feed holding hand closer Just in range but only if the horse gets closer himself. "I can tell he's not gonna take kindly if I get close for the obvious reasons. You get a horse like that, they ain't goin' play nice until they wanna." I spend a good several minutes speaking softly, even if gravely to the steed. A few minutes in and it finally approaches my gloved hand to take 'is feed. I repeat this a couple times and then get the horse brush to build a bit of trust between me and the beast. It takes a bit before it allows itself to be handled again but i reckon a half hour getting it used to me is very good time.By now Freemantle has the Donkey all saddled and ready, Carcina got bored partway through watching me stand there and got the letters we're delivering. When she returned i set the missive into my parcel bag and got the horse ready to travel. "No objection to riding with me is there?""If there were any, the idea of walking on foot the whole distance trumps those complaints." Carcina says, her arms folded."Humph." I Climb onto the saddle. offering a hand to Help the elf up. "Does this stallion have a name?""Chestnuts." She replies, i may not see it but i can tell she's rolling her eyes."He'd he get that name? He grow those often?""He kicked his breeder in the sack when they were first training him to take a rider.""Heh! Guess some things stay the same anywhere." After getting chestnut to leave the barn i look over to freemantle, who simply gives me a nod and starts making the ass follow me. It's time to get the fuck out of town.(cont)
We make it a good ways on the road to go around the mountain range. The small talk is pleasant. The insults frequent. And i get a first hand experience of an elf and dwarf arguing. Overall it's been interesting. Not as quick as i would like but time is pretty good considering the horse and donkey can go farther than either of these two can without stopping.Well, it was going good. Till we found the remains of an old camp. There's about three bodies, all big, all dead, and all green. Like really sick looking green. "Fuckin' what in Hell 'appened here?""It's an Orc camp, but the Orcs are dead." We get closer and I get Carcina off the Chestnuts here. I walk my way over to the bodies and looking at this big lime shaded sons of bitches i can tell what killed them. They got more than eight holes in each of their bodies and that's a lot of blood on the ground. "Well 'ain't that a kick in the head."The other two look at me, guess that wasn't in my own mind after all. "What's it 'Enry?" Radnek asks.>???
>>6298391>"Summat either stabbed the shit out of them, shot the shit out of them, or has some big fuckin' doohickey which has a whole lotta sharp ends to it. Any of that ring a bell for critters or folk out here? Maybe someones who really hate green people?"
Well, fromone either stabbed the shit out of em, shot the shit out of em, or has some big fucking doohickey which has a whole lotta sharp ends to it. Any o' that ring-a-bell for critters or folk out here? Maybe someone who'd really hate these Greenskins?"The dwarf rubs the back of his head. "Hating tha greenskins be fairly normal. But kinna think o' anything that did this."Carcina hangs and shakes her head. "Nothing we know of produces wounds such as these."Getting down i kick over the corpse, and sure enough i can recognize the tell tale signs of powder burns around the missing chest of one of these thing. "Well fuck me, who'd point blank a fucker this big?" I ask rhetorically, the shotgun really ripped up everything on this one. no wonder the grounds a fucking mess."Ah don't reckon anyone here's put together a blunderbuss 'ave they?""What is this, blunderbuss you speak of?""Why tha fuck kinna ye just speak common like tha rest o' us?""Tsk. great. . so we got something else besides me with firepower."> Look for it what killed the orcs.> "Not our problem, lets get back on the road."> ???
>>6298507> Look for it what killed the orcs.we probably aint the only one gone to this place
>>6298507> Look for it what killed the orcsThere can only be one (gunman)
>>6298507> Look for it what killed the orcs.
"We need ta take a detour." I tell the others."You still haven't explained what this blunderbuss is and what it has to do with-""Blunderbuss is a gun, like my revolver is, except bigger, shoots many times as once. and has a nastier, faster cousin called a shotgun. Either of those could be what did this." I say as i squat down by once of the bodies, looking around it for sign of tracks or trail of what may have done this. "Help me figure out where the varmint that shot these green varmints went." The elf started searching for tracks an shit. She seemed to be having trouble though.> Elf failed her roll, you know what to do, best of four.
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>6298560come on bby give daddy a high one
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>6298560
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>6298560
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>6298560
The elf looking for tracks like an animal was hopefully doing some good. . Well, it really wasn't. Probably because we shouldn't have been looking for leg tracks in the first place. I manage to find some burnt patches on the ground. Too small for a proper fire but this looked strange enough to follow. They do go down towards the shore. I motion for Radnek to bring the horses, well horse and ass. We would begin heading north towards the beach. It takes an hour of searching but from our high ground overlook we manage to spot what did them orcs in. "What in tarnation?" I whisper.Down on the beach is a walking, desicated corpse, not too unlike myself in that respect. MUCH more unlike myself is the amount of metal covering its naked body, and the thing that seems to be replacing it's arm."Thats, a unique look for an undead." Whispered Carcina."Shou' we head down there an' put it out o' it's misery?" The dwarf asked, already picking up his mace.>What do we do fellas?
>>6298594are we feeling lucky punks?
>>6298594"Best be careful of that arm, it's the blunderbuss I been talking' 'bout."
>>6298594"I've never seen anythin' like it back home. That's thing on it's arm seems to be that shotgun I was talking about. If we are gonna deal with it, we better keep our distance."
>>6298594There’s a good chance it’s intelligent like us, we should try diplomacy
>>6298594We should put two in the dome before this cyberfreak swiss-cheese's us
>>6298706>>6298594Yeah this lad doesn't look particularly friendly, we'd best put him down quick and be off.
>>6298781I’m sure we don’t look friendly either, they made us wear a mask
>>6298793It shot those orcs in their own camp. I doubt we're getting much better treatment.
"Ain' never seen nothin' like it back home. . . That thing it's arm must be that shotgun or blunderbuss i been talkin' bout. Best be careful of that arm. It slaughtered them orcs in they own camp. Doubt we'd fare much better of spotted."We spend a minute watching it shamble around, only for a bird to get too close to it. Thing just raises it's arm and blast a seagull outta the sky like it was nothing. Didn't look like it's there at all doing it either."Perhaps it's best we eliminate it without being seen." Carcina makes to nock an arrow, but i put a hand up. You best get somewhere you can duck your head to avoid the shotgun blast. Those pellet will take your head off."Looking back down i look around the slope for a way down that won't be so full of gravel.> Stealth op? If so we can roll some 1d100's> Ambush up ahead, more of the same, 1d100's.> Have a better idea?
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>6298805>Ambush up ahead, more of the same, 1d100's.Yeah we ain't talking this one down if he's just shooting birds for being in proximity.
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>6298805>> Ambush up ahead, more of the same, 1d100's.
>>6298594didn't expect to run into a fucking cyberdemon
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>6298805>> Ambush up ahead, more of the same, 1d100's.
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>6298805ambush
I direct Carcina and Radnek to back up and get back up the cliff. From where we were i spotted a nice little mound up ahead we can get to in a hurry. And hurry we do we mount the mounts work our way around and past the shambling mass of meat and metal and we get where i saw. I notice where we're at the horses and company are safe I tell Carcina "Fight from here." And run for that sand pile.I get there alright, damn other dead thing didn't see me coming in but he sure as shit saw me once i was there, I duck my head and hold me hat to it as the fucker blast twice over my head. Still not used to it but i can hear despite the gunfire and the damn thing is groaning and hissing like an animal. I see Carcina back where i left her poke and fire an arrow, which lodges into the things chest but only seems to make it pause and change targets. wasting three shots on the wall of the cliff they're hiding behind. Good it'd have to swing his whole body back to me to shoot with how we're spread out.>1d100>The way you want Henry to attack.
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>6299014I say aim for the shoulder. If we hit the joint it won't be able to lift its arm. And it's easier to hit since it's steadying its arm to point the gun while its head can still loll about.
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>6299014>HeadshotRollan for deadeye
>>6299014
still need two more gentlemen. It's best of four not best of 2
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>6299014
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>6299014
>>6299121Rest in piss mechanical monstrosity
>>6299121> Crit range success.I take aim and am about to fire then i realize, wait, this things head isn't facing me. I can't hit the soft bit of his eyes like that. I pull the hammer back to make firing one handed easier and put my other hands fingers to my lips and give a sharp whistle.Pfffwip!"Craaaaw!" The disgusting naked bag of metal and meat turned to face me. It took an arrow from Carcina to the shoulder, enough to stop it from shooting. Then i shot a round into it's eye socket. Funny enough the bullet didn't blow out the back of the skull like i thought it would. The corpse of the thing would slump down and sparks would come out of it's head.Slowly Carcina and Radnek would come out from behind the cliff to look at this thing. We glance at eachother and start to approach it and stare down. Frankly the metal on this thing is so far deep in the body you would think it would have kept it from moving, but her it is, all of it seemingly put together for some purpose i can't understand."I thought your silly little nae wand thing was hard ta comprehend, tha fuck be all this shit? metalwork be some o' tha best i seen, kinna even tell where tha hammer blows wou' have been an' its all wasted on shoving it into some fuck?"He had a point, this was too good to be done without some kind of factory or workshop.>???
Didn't take the gif i grabbed for this, kek.
>>6299131>"Shit I can't make heads or tails o it either. Only thing I can think of is it came from out East where the big cities are. Had better steelmakers out there. Ugly feller must've come from some place similar. Y'all know any places with great big factories and fancy doohickeys? Somewhere with money I'd imagine."
>>6299131>Loot the gun-arm/corpseMaybe a skilled TechroNecromancer can weld his canon on us as a third arm?
>>6299131>>6299135>>6299219+1
>>6299219if nothing else we can use the gunpowder to help us make more ammo for the colt
Shuht, I can't make 'eads o' tails o' tallywackers of this either. Only thing i can think of is it comin' from out east where the big cities are. Hav' better steelmakers out that way an' they don' do SHIT like this." I say, throwing my arms at the body to highlight the point. I can see Radnek nodding along in understanding but Carcina is cocking her head like i'm speakin funny. "Y'all know any place what has great big factories and fancy machinary? Somewhere with lotta money trading hand all fast and loose like?""nah, there be nae place in this region that wou' fit that style o' livin', ye'd 'ave ta travel further south ta tha lower end o' jinland ta get ta a place wit a market city like ye want. Only other place with such heavy amounts o' tinkerin be gnomish workshops, which ya won't find outside o' dwarven kingdoms, an' dwarven forge cities. An' we dinna take kindly ta this type o' shit if ye understanding me ye once human.""C-city's would do something like this?" Carcina asks which leads both me and Radnek to facepalm."We jus' finished sayin', not any city we know of would do it. Just that they're the only places that could do it if they wanted to.""Which means much like dead boy here. This metal filled sack o' sacrilege must be from somewhere nae on our maps an with donkey shit we have nae seen yet." I nod to Radnek, then look at the corpse a bit closer."Ain't never seen a weapon like this either. No trigger, it's fused to the body. ." I lift the arm and feel around it for a box or belt for the bullets but i find nothing. "Not made like no Gatlin gun either." Something like this I definitely want to know more about, it's like findin' a magic sword, but it's a gun. So i grab that odd cleaver sword and hack off the gun and carry the fucker over to chestnut to stow it away. "What do we do with the bod-" I turn to ask Carcina when i notice the corpse go up in flames with Radnek standing over it and 'impatiently praying.' I didn't know a priest could do that while tapping their foot. Or that a priest can set you on fire with a prayer."I'll explain holy magic to you on the way." Carcina says as she makes to feed the dwarf's donkey before we get back on the trail.> Pay attention to the holy magic explaination?> focus on shortening the trip to tollspass?> Try messing with the arm gun? (specify willingness to break it down.)> Some other write in idea'r
>>6299521>look the gun over for anything we recognizeany engravings or other signs that whoever made it A. understands gunpowder or came from a place that does B. how an ammo less gun works because that be useful much as we love our colt
>>6299521> Pay attention to the holy magic explaination?This sort of devilry is supposed to effect us as well, no? Best listen in.
> For writing purposes >>6299617 first, then >>6299535 at Henry's Downtime.As we have the steeds walk us around the shore's cliffs I listen to Carcina explain what she says is more accurately called 'Divinity Invocation Magic'. That name earned a scoffing from Radnek, who insisted the academics 'Need a boot rammed up their asses.'"Rather than relying on the mage's own ability for magic, Clerical Spells or Miracles are works conducted through spiritual authority. The ability to cast them comes from a deity acting through the caster. Which makes the caster a medium for that entity to act upon the world. The barrier to casting for most clerics is how closely the deity they follow agrees with their priest interpretation. And then that deity's willingness to intercede. The personal limitation is actually the willpower to keep the casting going. Most Clerics say casting even low level miracles leaves them feeling sluggish and tired.""So the whole thing is based on if god agrees with how you conduct yourself and then if they're willing to give you a miracle?""Yes. There's no Miracle if your worshiping someone who has objections, either to you or the miracles you're attempting to manifest." Well, that bodes poorly for the world as i know it. Either the Lord has a strict no magic policy on us all or Jesus is very fucking disappointed in how we're doing."So why's it hit dead folk as hard as ya say?""Because the vast majority of gods agree, the dead aught not walk the earth. Undead are considered a manifestation of the unholy by decree, and as such." She giggles, holding a hand under her mouth. "I suppose it might be impolite to say, but the gods consider your existence a curse and affront." Yeah, that seems pretty fucking rude to say. > Many hours later.We manage to make it a good long deal round the mountain before we have to stop and feed the Horse and Mule. Chestnuts is exhausted the Radneks belligerent friend passed out as soon as he had the chance. While the knife ear and midget got to eating and sleeping i had a lot of free time so i started going over that arm gun more carefully. I was surprised to actually find engravings, well i couldn't believe what i was seeing. 'Aegis Dynamics CL-AIM-78, Made in USA.'I blink at that, America made this? Was that dead guy a Yankee? Nobody made shit like this as far as i knew. I spend several minutes going over the weapon, and eventually find what looks like a set of buttons that did nothing on either side until i pushed them together at once. Very un-fucking-intuitive. I can see doing something like that for a crew served vehicle weapon, but this was on a dude, it should just take a dude to operate their own limb. Sliding it off i'm greeting with a bunch of these little bundles of what look like glued together buckshot in a link of barely held together metal, and when i pull one out of it's sleeve it has what looks like a lump of coal behind it.
>QM Hit the Character limit again.> Take apart the futuristic gun.> Try praying to god for answers.> Twiddle our thumbs and Skip to morning.> Write in.
>>6299679> Take apart the futuristic gun.> Try praying to god for answers.
Will also add, QM will be very busy tomorrow. and the next update is more than four hours away. If anyone has questions, now is the time. For those of us wondering how much tech he's experienced. Henry was pulled here from the very late 1870's. The frontier is almost settled but not yet. Indian Conflicts were reaching their final days. The US has gone from horse pulled carts carrying gatlings with stick mags, to the USS Monitor, guns on trains, and early engines. The first gasoline powered car would have been made in just a few years. It wouldn't be long before he found himself unemployed due to the death of the wild west and was killed just too early to experience John Browning's early rifle designs.
>>6299679>pray to god for answersbut make sure its Jesus aint no reason to be poking around with these fangled new gods when the good Lord blessed the good ol US of A with Samuel Colt to make all men equal if these other gods were worth a damn they have given these lands their own Colt so how great can they be, burning undead or no
>>6299692what level of decay are we ati imagine we are drying out but how long do we think we have until we are either a zombie or a skeletonalso does Henry feel pain or have some way to figure out how much he can take before dying a second time?
>>6299701thought we already are a skeleton
>>6299701Desiccated corpse, so think zombie but very scrawny with skin and muscle tight to the skeleton.
>>6299679>> Take apart the futuristic gun.
Combat: We're running a Percentile HP pool to rep body integrity, Henry can feel a very dulled sense of contact, but not pain like he would have if he were alive. Things feel more mechanical now. He can tell when he's falling apart. So far things feel 'working'.
>>6299679>Take apart the futuristic gun.
I wait for the other two to get up, or at least Carcina to, the dwarf seems content to watch me with one eye open. But with hours on the clock i figure i have plenty of time to mess with the arm cannon, so i start trying to take it apart however i figure out i can, my knife makes an ok screw driver and is at least thick enough to be a pry bar, but a camp fire is no substitute for sunlight. I manage to figure out how to get most of it taken apart but that leaves me with more questions. What'r all the wires for? Why does a gun need a box with a lightning bolt and something heavy in it if it's not where the ammo is stored? What idiot makes a gun with over 40 little moving pieces? Why are there so many little cable shoved into the arm itself under all this metal? Why the fuck does a gun need little spinning disk, under an aluminum fence? I can tell it's meant to blow air for something. The after a moment identifying the chamber i do see more little cables inside and they were connected to the box thing. Maybe that box has something to do with blowing up the coal that is attached to the glued together buckshot?As that realization hits me i start to understand that the funny ammo is some kind of replacement for shotgun shells and powder but not one i can work with. Still a part of me realizes i CAN make this ammo, but i dont have the MEANS to do so. There's a material i don't know of involved, i just need to figure it out later.With a tired grunt set to putting most of the gun back together and throwing it into chestnuts saddlebag. And with yet MORE time to kill i start looking at the stars and come to yet another frustrating realization. Constellations are all wrong, they're outright missing. This isn't even my own night sky. I look to my current posse, still sleeping. I'm stranded somewhere i may never reach the USA again, but the USA seems to be reaching here somehow. With nobody and nothing familiar to boot, I clasp my hands and start to pray."Lord. I don't reckon I been the a good servant. Probably down right one o' yer more sinful ones to boot. Given the state I be in ah can probably reckon i ain't fit heaven non. . But if this here predicament bein so far from home and so far from alive and breathing home ain't no punishment. Ah am pretty lost, i can really use some sense of direction."For a good minute, i feel nothing, then my vision starts to burn and i can't see right.
When the burning in my vision finally fades and i can see clearly it's almost like i'm in a bright white room, like someone lit too many of them fancy bulbs that were getting popular with the tinkerers in the east. Oddly enough i seem to be placed on a stool. I look around an i can make out this figure next to me, man looks to have the finest beard and hair what i've ever seen and he's sitting on a stool like mine. I blink several times as the man looks like what most o' them paintin's an stained glass windows show Christ emself to be. Once i blink at em in shock a few times he points out towards the distance, following that finger i see a bunch of folk gathered around tables. different groups an different tables. Some folk look like people, some folk just. . don't. I realize one of them tables has a bunch of folk that look like kings and such but another has a bunch of em that look like that necro-bastard what was in the ruin i woke up in. When i look back at the man who looks like Jesus i suddenly see em raise his arm an the table 'was next ta me flying 'wards my face and-thwack "WAAH!" "SWEET FUCKING MORDAIN!" My vision burned with light again, and as it slowly cleared i see Carcina and Radnek looking down at me, or were, they were both covering their eyes like someone waved a torch in front of em."WOAH! Woah, what 'appened?""Y-You were dead! Dead undead don't just get back up!""Aye, carcina woke up an' went looking for food, when she got back she kicks me awake an' asked if i had a clue why ya were nae moving. I went over, checked, ye were dead dead. I say as much, she thunks your head an' your skull flares like we lit a torch near a coal vein!">???
I don't get if Jesus hates us or throw the table at the other fuckers
>>6299794>"Ah damn ye I was talkin' to the Lord! Well, wasn't talkin' just lookin' at 'im. But damn. I reckon I need to go to church more. Ah hell they ain't even got Bibles 'round here. I don't remember it well enough to go writin' the whole thing myself. I can still do the Lord's work though. Enough dilly dallyin' we've got things to do! Oh and uh, thanks for lookin' out for me anyway, pardners."Good deeds? Spreading the message? FAITH!? We've seen the Lord and He is GOOD! kek What are the odds it was just a fuckass wizard? Which would make the outcome of gaining ZEALOTRY pretty funny.
>>6299800doubt there's any other sentient beings here besides us and the two of them
>>6299801I don't quite know what you're getting at with this.
>>6299804the spoiler
>>6299805Ah I see. Well. It's magic it doesn't have to make sense lmao
>>6299794"I think I just spoke to God. There was a table with a bunch 'o differen' folk sittin'. Men, women, priests, criminals, I think I even saw a king or two and the that thing we just killed was sittin' there to. I was 'bout to join 'em but then you woke me up. I suppose I am meant to do somethin', but I am not sure what that all meant."
>>6299794my God just flipped the table of your godsalso our skull was on firewe are now the coolest dude on this entire plane of existence
>>6300056>Jesus either is able to create miracles and being a more active force on other dimensions instead of our own, or Jesus like any other gods is able to being present or influence in other dimensionsHope it's the second one so we could see that the average good paladin religion in Fantasy World is just Jesus with other coat of paint lmao
Rolled 28 + 30 (1d100 + 30)I extend a hand and surprisingly it's Radnek that helps me up. "I think I Just spoke with God. Well, wasn't talkin' just lookin at em. There was a table with a bunch 'o differen' folk sittin'. Men, women, priests, criminals, I think I even saw a king or two and the that Necro-whatsit we fought in the ruin sittin' there to. Then god flipped a table at me when ya woke me up. Reckon i need to go to church more. Ah hell they ain't even got Bibles 'round here, I'm in trouble."That got the dwarf laughing. He slaps the small of my back making me stumble. Carcina looks puzzled. "You saw your god, undead don't sleep, and you were dead." She looks to Radnek. "You think he's.""aye, i think he's bein' honest. He was prayin' 'fore i went ta sleep so ah think he had ta 'ave his soul outta body or somethin'. Wou' likely 'ave destroyed 'is body if they didn' do 'at ta em.""Maybe attempting to pray again is a bad idea, it might end up permanently killing you next time."I raise a brow at Carcina for a moment. It makes sense but i can't agree to that. I shake my head. "Nah, I suppose I am meant to do somethin', but I am not sure what that all meant. I can still do the Lord's work though. Enough dilly dallyin' we've got things to do! Oh and uh, thanks for lookin' out for me anyway, pardners." I Get up and confirm the mail is still in the bag and start getting Chestnuts ready for travel, at Radneks insistence Carcina joins him in getting the donkey ready. We get our asses back on the decisive lack of trail and on our way to Tollspass.
>>6300073>28 - 30 = -2I reckon this is one of the easiest trails i've blazed in a while, the road that can be made out of this place is going to wind and it took a bit of explaining for our posse to understand what that means for traveling it with the path unbeaten. Sure enough we only take a few hours to finally be on the other side of the mountain, but we spot something near it's base that gives pause. "That is the ugliest fucking fort I've ever seen.""Ha! tha orcs be terrible craftsmen. Tha greenskins be more concerned aboot looting an killing. They kinna be bloody bothered ta care aboot how a thing works an' will just throw together absolute shit if it does tha bare minimum o' work.""They sound like some of the worst fucking redskin's I've ever heard of."Carcina joins us. "There's probably over twenty orcs in that structure, and their watchman in that tower spotted us, we need to run." Her caution reaches us just as the gates to the fort start o slowly open.> Run> Fight > write in
>>6300078>RunWe're an undead courier, not a suicidal maniac
>>6300078>> RunI mean yeah if we had infinite ammo it'd be a cinch but I don't really want to blow so much of our limited resource on these guys. We know where it is though, so we know at least one direction they're projecting power to. Besides, I doubt they have many riders. If they chase it'll be pointless on foot. Though if they're dumber than a bag of hammers they might still try it.
>>6300056we became wild west ghost rider for a second
>>6300078>Run
> give 1d100's.> Target number 68.> Best of 4.
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>6300177can i roll high for once?
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>6300177High-tailing it out of here
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>6300177
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>6300177Honse. Go.
Rolled 61 (1d100)> So close to a 1 with that 2, 80. Success.The Orcs rush out of their stronghold on the backs of fucking WOLVES! I turn back to the hills we're running through and start blazing a trail with the Dwarf and his donkey being the only thing slowing us down. "Radnek! Just follow my horse!""Aye! So long as i'm nae warg feed!"I manage to lead my slower companion through a thicket and then across a stream, two places that seemed to slow our pursuers. I glance behind me at Carcina who looks like she's having a hard time trying to turn enough to use her bow. "Don't bother, we'll lose them soon enough!""Why do you say that!?" I motion towards a section of the same stream we crossed that was full of little rocks, pebbles, and shallow water as an answer."They brought paws where they need hooves!" I laugh as i urge Chestnut to give it more speed. Crossing the river well before Radnek and his mule can. Stopping for a moment I tell the elf "Now! Fire on em!" Two arrows fly, one hitting a shield and the other only grazing one of those wolf creatures, but it's enough to slow them down for Radnek to get his ass across. "Come on! We can't be that much farther from Tollspass!" As we keep the sprint going we manage to cover enough distance that the Orcs break off. Looks like we won't be having to fight to keep the mail safe.
> Next post delayed. Will continue tomorrow at the latest.
>>6300228Just so you know if you want add a minus modifier to a roll you have use +-, just - shows it as +
It's just a few hours later that we start to see what looks like one of those old european castle towns in the distance, only when we get closer do i realize it looks very different from what i remember the paintings and descriptions of europe looking like. It looks more like how people describe China, or was it Japan. "Well I'll be, This place looks much better shape than Pikebramble did.""Looks real good ta ye doesn't it? Why, this place be on one o' tha few trade road that take ya from north west Jinland ta tha east. That be if ya have any reason ta go that way. They call it smuggling but tha'ss'a just ta discourage people from leaving jinlands 'proper' borders. Besides, it's on o' tha only sources o' coin this backwater gets.""Really, if it's smuggling that this place is known for then why's it called Tollspass?"Carcina chuckles. "All trade and travel through here has the cost of a toll tied to it. This is by Jinland's decree, so the point of toll collection is what this town was built around." "Ya know the more i hear about this Jinland place the less i like the sound of it.""That's the general sentiment around here. From the Elves that once populated it, to the dwarves in Limeprison, even the lizardfolk living in the swamp. They're the only ones who keep the Orcs that moved in check though.""Seems they're doing a shit job if they have Limeprison's mine.""Ha! An we'd agree wit ya, Limeprison 'as it's name for tha same reason as Tollspass."Carcina then gets off the horse, pulling something off her belt. "Here, you're going to need to these."Taking the bag and opening it i find inside several copper and a few silver coins. "Ah, the payout from the bandits loot, and the toll coverage.""Exactly. At least the markets here are better."With that we reach the gate where a very tired looking guard in too much platemail and holding a halberd looks at me through sunken eyes. "Hold! Present your toll. Three copper." He demands, it seems he doesn't recognize me as undead guess the mask and outfit are working. I check my coin pouch.>29 copper 4 silver.>Paytoll>Chimp out>Look for alternative entrances.>???
>>6300344>Paytoll
>>6300344>>PaytollTolls are an honest dishonest business. They probably don't even maintain the roads properly. Wondering about Henry's pistol, I'm going to assume it's either the 1878 or the 1909 since they both can come chambered in a .44. The 1909 would put him just barely missing on the greatest American pistol (TWO WORLD WARS), the 1878 would mean his daddy may have fought in the Mexican-American war. Or Henry did and he was pushing sixty when he bought the farm. The .44 though was a centerfire, and it was also Winchester ammo. But shhhh we'll handwave the /k/ away kek The .41 though, WAS rimfire, and the 1878 could be chambered in it as well.
I take out the three coins and hand them to the guard, who take them. "Eugh, you smell like a fucking tavern floor. Next!" The city gates open and i step past him as Carcina and Radnek pay. Walking in I see the that the first thing is are several stalls, most serving whatever preserved food you can expect to find on a pass through market. Along with a few stalls selling actual wares. Then there's the criers advertising for shops around the city. I notice a bigger stand, seems that stage is more for official things how gaudy it looks in comparison.I look around for similar signage to what was on the guild hall back in Pikebramble. Eventually looking back to see Carcina and Radnek catching up. "Carcina, you know where the hall is from here?""Yes.""fucking miser city, i swear they raised tha toll again, it was two copper 'afore, tha bloody nerve ta ask for three!"". . . Right, so the guild hall?""This way."We follow Carcina as she leads us to the hall. It looks almost exactly like the other, just more well put together and more crowded in the saloon portion. Bypassing the line I grab the mailbag from my side and pull out the letter as i approach the guild clerks desk. "Pardon me. Got a delivery from Pikebramble." I say to the clerk as she looks up from her papers."And what could it possibly be that I can't tell you what i tell everyone else. Back of the line." The lizard on the other side of the desk said in a lazy tone."Letter from Guildmaster Shock.""Back of-Oh gods bleeding damnit." She snaps the piece of black chalk in her hand before getting up from her seat and taking the letter from my hands. "if you go anywhere i'll hunt you down and skin you." She says before leaving the desk and going up a staircase."She seems like a bitch to deal with." I tell Carcina."Ha, you'd be surprised how few clerks actually have a sunny disposition, a lot of their job is keeping track of deaths.""Joy." I say having to resist the urge to spit just to keep the mask on. After a moment the clerk is coming back down with a dwarf who looks like he eats one of Radnek's size twice a day. In his hand is his still unopened letter. "So this guild sends letters by shady masked hooligans now? what a farce this be! worthless pikebramble kinna send a shipment on time an' in full amounts an' limeprison kinna hold aff orcs wi'out making me send reports o' travesties. Ye! take that ridiculous thing aff 'afore i throw ye out o' me hall!"Dammit, of course it's one of these recipients.>Write ins only.
>>6300383>Let's make a deal : open the letter and read it here and there while I "take the ridiculous thing aff" so you don't freak out on why I'm wearing it.
>>6300383>>6300390 +1
>>6300383>"Oh I get it, a dwarf what shirks their duties cause it's inconvenient for em, eh? And scared that the skinny human might be ugly. Fine, let yer kin die in them mines, not like y'care since y'ain't gotta worry about feedin' yerself huh."Fuck you, short. Read the fucking letter. Not like we need to be here anyway if he kicks us out.
>>6300390+1
"Let's make a deal. Open that letter and read it here, and we move back there while I "Take the ridiculous thing aff" so you don't freak out on why i'm wearing it.""you think ye can come into me guild hall an' throw around terms at me! ye snot sucking punk! your two decades too young ta be-""Sir ironclaim, ye might want ta reconsider your demands. Shawk had his reason for sending this one with that letter. It's better ye open tha paper than tha shipment."I can practically hear the guild chief gritting his teeth as he looked at Radnek. "Freeemantle."
Rolled 31 - 5 (1d100 - 5)stubborn roller
I do notice a crowd has gathered around to watch. That's rather annoying. More annoying was hearing the guild master break into another rant and a few threats about having the guards hold me for mischief. Wasn't sure what the laws here were on bullshit charges or if the sheriff would care to hear either of us so i tried diplomacy again."Ironclaim was it? I don't know what yer beef with the cleric is, it's not my problem. What is my problem is i don't want to have to fight half a fucking saloon of people over mah current state o' health. Can ya just read Shawks damn letter and then i'll speak with ya face to face wherever ya damn please.">Give me the dice check, Radnek couldn't beat a meer thirty.
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>6300435
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>6300435
>>6300436Talk no Jutsu op plz nerf
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>6300435Are ye dwarves all stubborn-like as this, Radnek?
>>6300442Only 85%, with the race having a penalty to diplomacy with anyone that isn't a dwarf. And then a smaller penalty when dealing with other dwarves.
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>6300435I cast critical failure
>>6300600Denied, writing!
The dwarf seemed like he was about to rant again after i finished, but looked to the guild's saloon patrons, then back to me. "Ye serious?""As serious as a hanging mister.""Hangin'""Common sentence for horse thieves."". . . ." He takes the letter and opens it. Looks like it unfolds like a scroll. As he's reading it I can see a vein on his forehead grow. Partway through he stops reading, looks up from the letter at me with an almost furious expression. He then shoves his nose back into the letter and seems to explode again. "Radnek! what be tha bloody meaning o' this!""Exactly what it be. We be in over our heads in pikebramble an' need more than we can muster out there.""We dinna have enough men between tha guild an' tha duke's men ta settle tha orc issue. An' now we might have an undead problem ta contend with? nae, i kinna spare what shawk's asking, nae wi'out getting more men ta work with. Ye! ye lot be coming with me, like all layers o' hell be i letting something like ye out o' me damn sight! an Radnek! i be disappointed ye haven't done yer duty first thing!" Finishing his rant and instructions the guild master starts for the door and punts it open.I glance to Radnek, who just turns his head and spits on the floor of the guild hall at that and turns to head out the door. "Hey! Where ya going?" I call out to the guildmaster."Ta see tha gods damned duke an' get him ta solve some o' this shit like be his job!"> Follow.> Object.> Slip off.> Write in.
