THE DARING CONTINUATION OF JERKCITY VOLUME ON EPISODE IV: A NEW DONG (DIRECTOR'S CUT REDUX REVISED YOU are SPIGOT, useless dope head extraordinaire, on a mission to uh..Shit was was it?
===[RECAP]===https://starwarsintrogenerator.com/scroller?u=27xkbjo6LAST THREAD:https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2025/6276662/RECAP Courtesy of the "Secouseville Theater Troupe Ltd"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M754Yl6wiYwAh yes indeed, here we are.The uh space station, or spaceship, or whatever the fuck, the giant wage cage in low earth orbit, you're here for TACOS, and your good friend and pal RANDS (but it's mostly about the tacos let's be honest).He was BITCHING and MOANING about getting inside the bridge so he could give his boss a handjob or some shit, you weren't really paying attention you're here for the tacos that you valiantly fought for in the last installment after all and now you are HERE.THE BRIDGE.LOOKS... kinda underwhelming, also turns out the giant lurching figure was a caveman? you're unsure as to why this is here but you've long stopped asking questions or making heads or tails about anything that happens anymore; life's kind of better that way, you start asking and pondering and cogitating inside your nogging and all of the sudden you smell burnt toast and your right eye gets all droopy.BUT ANYWAYS, here we are, time to take this hunk of junk for a spin?>HEAD TO THE FRONT, COMMANDER SPIGOT AT THE HELM, TINKER WITH THE CONTROL PANEL>QUESTION THE CAVEMAN>FREE RANDS FROM HIS STASIS (Shit he's still in your inventory)>T SPIGOT MILE HIGH CLUB WOOOOOOOOOOO [Write In]
>>6319700>FREE RANDS FROM HIS STASIS (Shit he's still in your inventory)OKAY DICKLICKERS WE'RE IN THE AYYLIEN MILFSHIPWE DEPLOY THE RANDS AND HAVE HIM GUIDE US TO THE GOODS SOUTH OF THE BORDER AND I DON'T MEAN THE FRONT OR THE BACK ONES
>>6319700>FREE RANDS FROM HIS STASIS (Shit he's still in your inventory)FREE HIM
>>6319700>T SPIGELOES CANNONFIRE LINGERS IN MY MIND I'M SO GLAD I'M STILL ALIVE>ALLLRIGHT WE ARE BACK HOOOOA SURE WAS A HURGLEBURGLE THESE LAST FEW DAYS>LET THIS GLORIFIED ALIEN DOOK CALLED RANDS OUT OF YOUR BUNGHOLE, I THINK ITS FOR THE BEST IF WE KEEP THAT ZONE PRIPYAT-LEVEL SECURE
>>6319700>t. RandsConsume Spigots emergency rations.Entertain yourself with his trash.Pop leftover pills.
>>6319992>>6319813>>6319744>>6319729ALRIGHT FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS AS ADMIRAL SPIGOT: FREE RANDS THE FILTHY LANDLUBBER FROM THE BRIG.YOU PROCEED TO- shit hold on.uhh menu, uhh slash menu, no that's not itF12? okay that's doing something, now let's see... directory body, subdirectory uhh dong, no wait, jack-off arm, fuck no uhh, brain? yeah it's brain, alright here it is: inventory!......well fuck it seems like RANDS is actively RANDSACKING your VALUABLES and POSSIBLES and TANGIBLES and maybe INTANGIBLES??? this CAN'T BE.YOUR CREW has assembled around you and are now demanding their part of the booty, YOUR booty!! unafuckingcceptable we aren't even out of the port and they're already mutinying.Should've updated your BIOS man.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5f_ZyLhnmg>REBOOT DRIVE>FUCK THIS, MAN THE SHIP.>ENTER INVENTORY, JANK 'IM OUT.>T SPIGOT THE BEAT-OFFS WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES [Write In]====================================YOU ARE RANDSAND IT'S DARK AS FUCK IN HERE WHATOH SHIT DRUGSOH SHIT A BONGNEVERMIND IT'S NOT THAT BAD IN HERE BUT IT'S KIND OF HARD TO BREATHEMUST BE THE MOLD>UHH BONGHIT?>LOOK AROUND?
>>6320157>ENTER INVENTORY, JANK 'IM OUT.RANDS WE NEED YOUR HELP RIGHT NOWYOU WANNA HIT THE BONG, YOU BETTER SHARE AFTER>LOOK AROUND?If your old pal Spigot is really pulling some crazy shit right here and now, then fuck it. Find something of his you can take with you to REALLY show your shitty boss what for! Get something worthy of shoving all the way up your boss' probable ass so it comes out his throat. How's that for an "I QUIT" note you sack of ayyshit?
>>6320157>UHH BONGHIT?
>>6320157>T SPIGOVERINE REBOOT THAT WHOLE OS THING TO SEE WHETHER WE CAN GET RANDSE OUT OF OUR CARDIOVASCULAR SYSTEM>IT WAS OVERDUE ANYWAY, WE GOTTA GET THIS DONE NOW BEFORE WE ACTUALLY ENTER A SERIOUS SITUATION>T RANDSTAD LOOK AROUND FOR AN EXIT YOU LAZY BUM YOU WANNA SEE YOUR BOSS TOO HUH
>>6320160>>6320175>>6320302Seems like YOU will have to YANK that grey bastard out of your abstract mind palace back into the drab, boring, smelly, stupid world you have to share with all the other freaks that roam and piss all over the place, he's literally living rent free inside your mind! fucking squatters, time to serve him the eviction notice in the form of a massive, ethereal god hand choking the everloving shit out of his pencilneck.Just need to- fuck hold on not agai- HNNNG.yeah you seem to be experiencing some uh, [b]TECHNICAL ISSUES[/b] with your drivers, your BIOS, your macros, your micro (singular), it's all gone haywire!Which was a long time coming all things considered that thing's been left to rot for decades, you've been running in autopilot mode for almost twenty years; fueled by the occasional blackout and bad trip. Not bad really, you've outperformed half the population in terms of NOT BEING LAME AS FUCK, yeah sure you're perpetually broke but in terms of [b]SWAG[/b]?? Unmatched.Shit's busted except for the main data bank; that is to say, the [b]EMBARRASSING, CRINGE INDEX[/b] that you (are ashamed to) call your [b]MEMORIES[/b]Only surefire way to access such a deep, abstract level, but you gotta hurry your right arm's going kind of numb and uyr lsmeinlg nurbt tsoast alшчфλψ&,^,…#>TRIP DOWN MEMORY LAME I MEAN LANE>1]A LONG TIME AGO...>2]LAST THURSDAY?>3]FIVE MINUTES AGO>FUCK THIS HARD RESET SHOVE DAT FINGER ON THE POWER OFF BUTTON NICE AND DEEP.>T SPIGOT WAIT THEY HAVE FOUR LOKO?? [Write In]..........YOU ARE RANDS AND YOU ARE HIGH HOOOLY FUCK THAT WAS GOOD *COUGH COUGH HURGLG*...ITS KIND OF DULL, OKAY NOT "KIND OF" ITS REALLY DULL.MAN SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE, UNIVERSAL CONSTANT NUMBER ONE SPIGOT IS ALWAYS BROKE AS FUCKYOU REFUSE TO PONDER THE EXACT LOCATION OF THIS PLACE AND YOU HOPE OR RATHER PRAY TO WHATEVER ENTITY RUNNING THIS SICK JOKE OF A REALITY THAT YOU ARE IN SOME ABSTRACT MENTAL REALM AND NOT UP SPIGOT'S ASS.MIND PALACE IT IS, OR MORE LIKE MIND DUMPSTER, OR EMPTY LOT WITH PASSED OUT JUNKIES DOING THE FENTFOLD STANDING GUARDYOU DO ADMIT THAT IT'S MILES BETTER THAN THE NUMBER CRUNCHING AND PENIS FLATTENING AND EMAIL DRAFTING AND PENIS EMAILING OF OFFICE LIFE, NEED TO FIND SOMETHING USEFUL OR BLUNT ENOUGH SO YOU CAN BASH HIS FUCKING HEAD IN AND PUT YOUR EVIL PLAN IN MO—WAIT EVIL WHO SAID EVIL YOU MEANT COOL AND HARMLESS PLAN IN MOTIONspoiler]GOD DAMN THIS THING GOES ON FOREVER, YOU'RE QUITE LITERALLY RATTLING AROUND IN HIS BRAINCASEOH WHAT'S THIS?? HIS MEMORIES HUH??? WELL THAT'S SOMETHING?>ENTER SPIGOT'S MEMORY>THAT SHIT'S LAME KEEP LOOKING>MAYBE ANOTHER BONGHIT WILL DO THE TRICK
>>6320743>1]A LONG TIME AGO...Back when we was a wee dicklicker...>ENTER SPIGOT'S MEMORYWhat if Rands sees how Spigot was still remembering him while everybody else forgot? The bro bond...
>>6320743>1]A LONG TIME AGO...>ENTER SPIGOT'S MEMORYFinally the gripping backstory we've all been waiting for
>>6320743>T SPINDOWS 7 ENTERPRISE FREE TRIAL EDITION A PROBLEM HAS BEEN DETECTED AND YOUR SPIGOT HAS BEEN SHUT DOWN TO PREVENT DAMAGE TO YOUR DONG & BONG>LET'S BOOT IT DOWN AND BOOT IT UP AGAIN THIS SHIT AINT WORKIN' RIGHT NOW>T RANDVAAL GET THE FUCK BACK TO LOOKING FOR AN EXIT YOU DO *NOT* HAVE PERMISSION TO LOOK AT OL' SPIGLERONE'S HALL OF FAME, SHAME AND GAME
>>6320825>>6320823>>6320814COUNTEDGONNA LEAVE IT OPEN FOR A BITtechnical issues, SpigOS rebootin', dongs too large, ran out of memory
>>6320825>>6320823>>6320814"SpigOS has encountered an unexpected error, please contact our technicians at 1-800-G0FUCKY0URS3LF, thank you for your understanding :-)"You SIGH at the sight of this bullshittery, should've left that thang update while you were asleep or passed out back at the cornerstore, goddamn piece of trashware, mental note: replace this thing with unix or something less suck-[INSUFFICIENT SPACE FOR MENTAL NOTE]ohhh it's gonna be like that huh?Well nothing and I mean NOTHING on god's gray earth survives a hard reset! you just have to press your cheeks reaaaal hard and blam, good as new, every problem in the world can be solved by turning it on and off again, that's why people get blackout drunk in the first place; you're just a bit more stubborn than the regular folk so the hard reset process involves getting drunk, high, bruised, maimed, disemboweled,discombobulated, prolapsed, relapsed and then nappytime for 72 hoursJust hafta fiddle around with the uh... "controls" hold oHMMM NO THANKS OR RATHER NOT NOW GOTTA KEEP LOOKING YOU FOUND THE DRUG STASH MAYBE THE "DESPERATE JUNKIE" STASH IS NEARBY, YOU COULD KNOCK HIM OUT COLD WITH A CROWBAR OR SOMETH- WAIT WHY IS EVERYTHING SPAZZING THE FUCK OUT WH- HOLSHLFADSFDKLSAGADSLÑGKADSÑ...
...
...HUALALHLAHLGLAHADSGJAD-...Well-shit it seems like the reboot went a little uh.. sideways.but MAN, smell that air! 1998, Y2K looming right on the horizon, things ran like clockwork and by clockwork you mean at a glacial fucking pace through dial up and having to make do with 16mb of ram, maybe less, but it's the 90s BABY!!God this shit's fucking crusty, might be the early onset dementia ravaging through your soft fleshy hard drive.But you do remember that day! that was a good bit, the pricing gun and the big puffy bag, a hoot and a holler, elevated to comedic perfection by your doppelganger popping out of thin ai-wait...Alright the shituation is DIRE, worsened by what might be the early onset dementia making everything crusty and slow, or maybe that's just your brain at regular capacity; you REALLY shouldn't be poking around in here, this is DEEP STORAGE, not the random access stuff you depend on for everyday life, one wrong step and you wipe out the memory block that holds your ability to speak, read and write, or even worse, the block with all the BUSTY BRUNETTES you carefully studied and catalogued by eye color and shoe size throughout the 90s! holy shit that'd be fucking catastrophic.BUT. You're here to find RANDS remember, he's probably in here somewhere....>T SPIGOT HEY SPIGOT WHERE'S RANDS>EXIT SCENE, ONTO THE NEXT SCENE, HE MIGHT BE THERE>PUNCH YOURSELF IN THE FUCKING FACE>T SPIGOT T SPIGOT T SPIGOT T SPIGOT T [Write In]
just noticed the repetition it wasn't intentional but now it is because it kind of fits lel
t spigot have you ever heard of wincest
>>6321580+1Team up with past memory bro to find our old pal Rands
>>6321552>>6321555>>6321561>T SPIGIALTY ENGINEERING PARTS_REBOOTING...>...>...>SPIGIALTY ENGINEERING PARTS_REBOOTED>WELCOME TO SPIGOS V.23.1774.0.0.2>LUDICROUSNESS UPPED BY 15%>DONG LICKING REDUCED BY 0,45%>BASE WEED ADDICTION REDUCED BY 5,3%>MENTAL SPACE INCREASED BY 62%, COURTESY OF GAME LIST EXCEEDING PARAMETERS>THANKS, AND HAVE FUN!>ENSHITTIFICATION AT ITS PUREST, GO FIND THE CENTRAL CONSOLE SO WE CAN LOCATE RANDS AND GET OUT OF THIS JOINT BEFORE ANOTHER OS UPDATE BEGINS KEEFING
>>6321604>>6321581>>6321580[SpigOS has encountered an error, please stand by / ERROR CODE d0.n_g5 DESCRIPTION: NOT ENOUGH HUGLAGLAGLGGUHLGL]Boah would you look at that, your own clone! the possibilities are now MORE than endless, you wont have to get those ribs removed now! Suck it Manson and suck it hard.Plus it's like, a get out of jail free card! rob a bank, set fire to an orphanage, steal every single bud of weed in the state, murk Deuce in broad daylight and teabag his corpse, run buck ass naked through the streets, and then when the pigs close in just give your body double away!Though he might turn on you and rat you out, or he might be one of those evil serial killing doppelgangers and he might chop your cock off while you're asleep.Wait what the fuck are you saying this is literally your memory, so it'd be more akin to those buddhist mind buddies that help you meditate and not jerk off all the time? Last time you heard sweatyforum nerds got a hold of that sacred tibetan knowledge and are now sacrificing bits of their dwindling sanity to conjure anime babes with neon hair and squeaky voices as their mind-bitches.hmm maybe if you focused your will you could give yourself a nice, decently sized rack... actually hold that thought we can use our imagination powers to humiliate deuce even further thankfully you have ANOTHER (dick)HEAD to BRAINSTORM WITH.And he is onboard! The Spigot Association of Gay (as in) Gleeful Individuals Nodding Gracefully (SAGGING for short) has acquired another member, by the end of the month we'll have a whole legion of 'em, we'll be unstoppable.But now we need to focus on RANDS, and uh, the fact that you are somehow trapped inside your mind, AND THEY DON'T REMEMBER THE GREY BASTARD EITHER whaaaat; are those flashbacks gone somehow? How could you forget? That was like the whole point of hitting the bong and tripping balls and seeing all those weird astral critters at the store.And WHY exactly is Pants the one in charge of your memories? Or mind, Yeah this does not bode well, at all.Man is this how your "inner workings" look like? The "software" holding your psyche together? It's like three decades out of date no wonder it's falling apart.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jm-upHSP9KU>UHH CHOOSE A DESTINATION?>USE YOUR IMAGINATION AND LOCATE RANDS [1D100 DC 60 (+10 NOSTALGIA BOOST)]>TWIST DEUCE'S BALLS WITH YOUR MIND>T SPIGOT GO FUCK YOURSELF [Write In]
Rolled 4 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>6322176>T SPIGILLUSION, COULD IT BE THAT...>IMAGINE THERE'S NO SMOKING>IT ISN'T HARD TO DO>NO BONG TO LIVE OR DIE FOR>AND LOTS OF BITCHES, TOO>YOU MAY SAY, HE'S A WET DREAMER>BUT HIS DREAM HAS JUST BEGUN>I HOPE SOME DAY THESE BIG DONGS>GET ALL THE LICKINGS ON THEIR WANG
>>6322235am I even surprised anymore at this point
Rolled 53 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>6322235+1 from me doc
>>6322176>you wont have to get those ribs removed now! Suck it Manson and suck it hard.https://youtu.be/5JzfKiGJ5jE
>>6322238>>6322237>>6322236>>6322235WOAH MAMA COUNTED AND WRITINGTHE BAD LUCK STREAK ENDS NOWFUCK THIS, LAST BUMP ON THE ROAD, AFTER THAT IT'S SMOOTH SAILING, BACK 2 DAILY UPDATES
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-aqy9BYqDMHmm, time to put that imagination of yours to the test, you've only used it to imagine big bazonkers and unorthodox ways to smoke weed and... actually that's it huh, damn.well that stops TODAY, you shall SEEK that son of a bitch using your STATE OF THE ART, MILITARY GRADE GAY-DARSWOOPSWOOPSWOOPDING DING DING[R4NDS.EXE DETECTED IN (SUB-FILE: CONTROLPANEL.DONG.MP3.EXE)]JACKPOT, there it is! now time to ZOOP right into that directory, do a little mind-hacking and voila, back to the FUN.Aaaand... huh, this does not look like a control panel, this is a fucking street, you expected a computer setup of sorts, pinups stapled on the cubicle, wads of chewed up paper on the floor, Marjorie from Accounting busting your fucking balls from the cube in front of you, you do some hackerman stuff on the console and federal agents materialize from the aether in front of you and you beat 'em with your cool superh4xx0r skillz.This is uhh.. different, a little unnerving; streets are quiet, snapshots of people are eyeballing you, and worst of all, no smells... real uncanny stuff.But your gaydar is INFALLIBLE, so that almond eyed freak HAS to be somewhere in here, maybe from THAT HOUSE that your handsome, sexy ,irresistible companion is pointing towards?>BARGE INTO THE HOUSE, KNOCK KNOCK BITCH>SNEAK INTO THE HOUSE, KEEP UP OUR SNEAKY STREAK>LOOK AROUND (WHERE??? THERE'S FUCKALL IN HERE)>ASK FOR DIRECTIONS?>T SPIGOT TH3R3 1ZZ N0 SP00N!"!111
=[MEANWHILE]=
>>6323134>BARGE INTO THE HOUSE, KNOCK KNOCK BITCHIf Spigot was solo or had his fuckboy crew with him, I'd go for the sneaky streak. But that sneaky streak is for the outside, the real world. Here we have the Mind Spigot to give backup to back that ass up, so the solution is TAG TEAM BREAK-IN.KNOCK KNOCK, OPEN UP THE DOOR, IT'S REALWITH THE NONSTOP POP-POP, THE STAINLESS STEAL
>>6323134>BARGE INTO THE HOUSE, KNOCK KNOCK BITCHits in his mind so its his anywayreach in to the pocket spigot, you have the key. you always did
>>6323134>T SPIM SPIMINY SPIM SPIMINY SPIM SPIM SPEROO ME DOES WHAT ME LIKE AND ME LIKES WHAT ME DO>HULLO MADAM WE HAVE COME TO FIX YOUR BOILER>NO NO, THIS ISN'T A THIRD-RATE PORN FILM WE REALLY ARE LOOKING FOR THE LITTLE GREEN MAN THAT IS RUINING YOUR RADIATOR>WHAT NO WE'RE NOT BEING RACIST JUST LET US IN WE KNOW YOUR BOILER IS ACTING UP>SUBURBIANS THESE DAYS, CAN'T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO TRUST THE FUCKIN' ELECTRICIANS ANYMORE...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-WTt1r6clI
>>6323241>>6323180>>6323139COUNTED, aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAgain another setback, deep apologies, will hopefully be the last, im fine stuff's just annoying rnalso based and NYSEpilled
YOU BARGE INTO THE HOUSE with the GRACE of a slavic drunkard coming home after drinking his bodyweight in bootleg antifreeze vodka.THANKFULLY nothing! or no one! wait that's not good you're supposed to find Rands here if he isn't here then you FAILED.Or wait not really, turns out this is just part of the SpigOS Memory (Spank) Bank!God this place is huge, bigger on the inside and all that, this is some Doctor Who stuff right here. Usually when it comes to you everything is both smaller and more disappointing than expected but your VAST and CAVERNOUS INTELLECT? unparalleled, massive, a little empty and it smells weird but then again size is what matters right?Okay you're not sifting through all of your embarrassing flukes and cringeworthy moments how about we just piss on the racks and call it a day?Whoah there he is! your gaydar never fails!As chance would have it it turns out that RANDS has merged with the file sorting system that composes your INVENTORY.Now would be a good time for a little heart to heart don't you think? buncha odd shit's been happening and he might be responsible for some of it? or maybe all of it?!!!T SPIGOT FUCK OFF MAN JUST LET ME OUTTA HERE THERE'S LITERALLY FUCK ALL TO DO YOU HAVE LITERALLY NO FUCKING WORTHWHILE THOUGHTS IT'S ALL PRICKS AND BONGS AND WEED GOOD GOD MAN IT SMELLS LIKE STANK ASS MOLD, YES EVEN INSIDE YOUR FILESYSTEM>T RANDS ALRIGHT SPILL THE BEANS BUD WHAT'S UP WITH YOU [1D100 DC 69 (+17 L33T H4XX0R SK1LLZ)]>AH FUCK THAT WHO CARES JUST JANK HIM OUT>T SPIGOT ACTUALLY THE OTHER SPIGOT HAD A POINT WE SHOULD JUST PISS ON THE RACKS AND GO HOME>T SPIGOT I MUST GET FREE [Write in]sorry for the extended leave xoxo
Rolled 71 + 17 (1d100 + 17)>>6325024>T RANDS ALRIGHT SPILL THE BEANS BUD WHAT'S UP WITH YOU [1D100 DC 69 (+17 L33T H4XX0R SK1LLZ)]You're like the long lost fuckboy brother to Spigot, man! Everybody's forgot you except Pants and Spigot, and Spigot forgot too until that BAD TRIP in the gas station bathroom last night. What the fuck do you know about what's been going on? C'mon man...
>>6325024>T SPIGOT WHOOOOPS YOU HAVE TO PUT THE CD IN YOUR COMPUTERSurely our sophisticated Beatnik mindscape posses a personal computation device with physical media read/write capability. Just drag the Rand file right onto one.
>>6325037 (WOOOOO THANK YOU RNGESUS)>>6325518COUNTED WILL LEAVE IT OPEN FOR A BIT LONGER ALSO PROOF OF LIFE I'M HERE ALL HANDS ON DECK NOW
>>6325518More likehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOS40GeaIV4
>>6325024>T SPYNTAX ERROR BALLS NOT FOUND ONLY BIG BOOBS HERE BABY>GET THIS FOUR-WAY FITZLEROY OUT OF THE DAMN COMPUTER COME ON MAN HE'S GOTTA GET OUTTA THIS JOINT SO WE CAN SPEAK ZU ZE MANAGIER>I DON'T CARE HOW PATHETIC OR SCHEMING THIS DUNGENHEIMER IS WE HAVE TO GO OUT AND GET LAID NOT STAY IN OUR MIND LIKE PANSIES WE'RE NOT JOHN LENNON FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD
yo Ciudad del Masturbatidino-QM how is it goin are you okay?
YEAH BABY TIME TO EXPORT THIS F4G INTO A PROPER ANAL-OG FORMAT.And now that he's at your mercy you can... dig around in his "data" banks! see what the green bastard has been hiding from us!...Or maybe later, we got more pressing matters to attend to, like, the party you just ditched to come and get this twiggy little scamp out of the damp cavernous halls that house mountains upon mountains of BABES. Shit you actually had a babe waiting for you in meatspace god fucking damn Rands you cockblocking moron you just HAD to get stuck down, or er, up? inside? outside... IN HERE.You really hope Pants isn't doing anything TOO freaky to your unconscious body, you can jitter and twitch like a dead fish but that wont help you defend your precious bootyhole from sharp foreign objects.Alright let's see uhh... fuck this shit is ancient okay let's see uhh... fuck there are no drives here, no Cassettes, Cee Dees, or 8-tracks detected, the fuck?Oh so this little saboteur was actually DIGGING through your memories! I mean he did say that he was scouring through your mind-stash but this... he wanted ADMIN PRIVILEGES, body-jacking piece of shit, no wonder he got merged with your root directory.Alright chump let's export that green ass of yours back into meatspace and see what's U-.........[REBOOT INITIATED] ......DICKS: COMPILING...BONGS: RIPPING....C/SP1GOT/SYSWOW128/D1CKS/D0NGS/DRIVERS//1997/MEMORIES/1-1-1997/PARTITIONS/R4NDS.EXE>RUN R4NDS.EXE>SUDO RM -RF >T COMPUTER GO BACK, DISABLE SAFETY PROTOCOLS [Write In?]
>>6326599Again incredibly sorry, irl stuff got annoying, bitches tryna ruin my UPDATE TRACK RECORD
>>6326735>T SPI-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I->U-U-U-U-U-U-U-U->C-C-C-C-C-CON-TROL C + V- ->G-GET BACK TO REALITY->END-OF-F-TRANSMISS-IONhttps://youtu.be/2ywWFvjE-yU>>6326736Don't be sorry, was just a bit worried about the radio silence considering QM's have actually contracted ball cancer and died on here (100% true story this is how the QM curse works)
>>6326937COUNTED AAAAAIrregular upd8s ending soon stay tuned still have some juice left
>>6327604JUICED UP AND READY TO GO, CAP'N
.........021012djsafAFSAOOOOH FUCK GOD that was a trip and a half, you slowly CONVALESCE in the cold metal floor of this orbital tin can, surrounded by your TROUPE of CAPABLE albeit ANNOYING COMPANIONS who are- hey what gives, quit that, why are you laughing, fuck off.Situation seems... nominal? You run a little system diagnostics, your dong's there, no bloodclots on your veins, no foreign objects found in any orifice, foreskin = intact, lung health: eh could be worse, small lump in left ball, pinky toe moderately bruised, lookin' good!You DISREGARD the scribblings and the stench of permanent marker and what seems to be silly string wrapped around your beret and hair turning you into the queerest Christmas tree this side of the galactic spiral and focus on the slimy FUCK who smoked all of your shit and may have pocketed your LIFE SAVINGS (20 dollars and a nickel), goddamn shameless thief...You SPOT the fucker slamming his noodlefingers all over the CONTROL PANEL. Oh hey you were heading there right before the whole inventory detour!Alright, how do we deal with this POTENTIAL outer space Judas? your patience's kind of running thin, you just want to get back to fucking around, maybe abduct a couple of cows and do some outer space BBQ-ing or draw a massive wiener on some crops, the possibilities are quite endless, after all you're all the way up in the final frontier...>CONFRONT RANDS, THAT'S ENOUGH I'LL KICK YER ASS I'LL SWEAR ON ME MUM.>SHOVE HIM ASIDE, YOU'RE THE CAPTAIN NOW>LEAVE ROOM, THIS IS NO FUN LET'S DO SOMETHING ELSE WHERE'S THE CHOW HALL>T SPIGOT IT'S PROBIN' TIME [Write In]
>>6328459>CONFRONT RANDS, THAT'S ENOUGH I'LL KICK YER ASS I'LL SWEAR ON ME MUM.That's it you little shit, I've had it up to here with your queer ayy trickery, the scent of raging wagieYou have NO IDEA the lengths Spigot went to make it this far you pasty-ass Salad Fingers wannabeLike 3 dick lengths long, imagine...Anyway, you're going to sit down, shut up, and LISTEN and GET US OUR MEXICAN FOOD and SEND US DOWN BACK TO OUR CITY!!!
>>6328459>SPICASSERINE OH HOW THINE LONG HOWLS EXCITE THE BROADS>OKAY RANDDEBIEL WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON LIKE WHAT IN THE WORLD (OR WHEREVER WE ARE NOW) ARE YOU DOING YOU HAVE BEEN SCHIZZING OUT THIS ENTIRE TIME AND YOU EVEN YOINKED MY MONEY DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD ATANDT WORKED FOR THAT YOU CORDUROYED ERLEMEYER>LIKE SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS YOUR DEAL>ALSO ASK THE WOMAN FOR HER NAME ONCE AGAIN WE NEED TO KNOW WHERE SHE LIVES WHEN WE ARE TAKING REVENGE FOR OUR FACE FULL OF FLUKEY-ASS CRAP
>>6328465>>6328636COUNTEDDDKINDA BUSY WEEKEND AHEAD BUT BAH GAWD WE'LL FINISH THIS
