You are Neutralplier.You live in a very spacious house, which is entirety empty except for a pillow, a blanket, and your computer, which you use to blogpost about your daily life.Your day has been largely uneventful. When you woke up, you immediately opened your computer to post about how you just woke up, and also how you stuck a finger up your ass recently but it didn't really feel good, it just felt okay, and that was kind of disappointing. But you're not gay though, you were just trying it out. Also you wish you had a BBC dildo if that matters but you can't afford one.Anyway, a weird rock just crash landed through your roof, and now sits at your feet. It has a strange face carved into it that doesn't look like anyone you've ever seen. You don't feel particularly strongly about this. It's kind of cool, you guess.What do you do?
>>6321882Throw the rock outside
look outside to see where it came from
>>6321882rob a nigger, steal the money and buy a bibisi dilldough
blogpost about this o algo
>>6321883CRASH!!!!You throw the rock outside.It lands on your lawn.You survey your handiwork with disinterest. You don't appreciate the draft being let in by the open window, but calling a repair crew would be a lot of work and you're not really feeling up to that right now.Your neighbour, Chud, comes out of his house, roused by the noise. You're not sure why he's crying and yelling, and you don't really care.What do you do?
>>6321892Move into Chud's basement
>>6321894>>6321891You crawl out of your window and walk outside to talk to Chud. You bring your computer so you can blogpost on the go. It's a Mac, something you're eternally grateful for due to its sleek and portable nature.>can I move into your basement?You ask him politely.He still seems very upset, and immediately begins screaming at you.<MOVE INTO MY BASEMENT??? ARE YOU CRAZY?? DID YOU EVEN SEE WHAT YOU JUST DID??? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY HOA CODES THAT VIOLATES??? YOU'RE DISTURBING THE PEACE!!! I DON'T WANT YOU ANYWHERE NEAR ME, YOU APE!!!>um, rude.>can i tho?Chud's face turns purple.<NO!!! NO!!! DON'T YOU HAVE ENOUGH SPACE IN YOUR OWN HOUSE?? LOOK AT IT, IT'S HUGE!! IT MUST HAVE THOUSANDS OF ROOMS!! IT'D BE STATELY AND BEAUTIFUL, IF YOU ACTUALLY TOOK CARE OF THE DAMN PLACE!!! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN TORN DOWN YEARS AGO!!This conversation doesn't seem to be getting anywhere.What do you do?
>>6321907keep asking him to go into his basement until he leaks
>>6321907Start smashing Chud's head on the rock until he lets you move in.
>>6321907Keep walking, on your way you see a copy of your favorite manime “Violence Jack” on sale for 9.99 in a store
>>6321907Tie chud to the rock so he can't move, then move into his house
>>6321912You approach Chud with the rock.<HEY-HEY DID YOU HEAR WHAT I'M SAYING! GET AWAY! LEAVE THAT FUCKING DILAPIDATED SHACK AND GO!<WAIT, ARE YOU - HEY, DON'T-You smash his head in with the rock until he stops moving.
You stare at his corpse for a while. It was a lot more interesting when he was moving, but now that he's still it's just kinda boring.Suddenly, the rock soaks up the blood which was covering it, grows slightly bigger, and legs extend from it.<Heya, buddy! I'm The Vlodstone! Can you take me to your leader so I can impregnate her?What do you do?
>>6321928Immediately try to eat it
>>6321928"VLODSTONE! YOU WERE THE ONE THAT KILLED CHUD! I only meant to knock him out... not kill him...."I go on r/eyebleach to make myself feel better, and then post on r/advice on what to do about this.
>>6321929You immediately try to eat it.It is, of course, too big to fit in your mouth. It also doesn't taste like much, which makes you get bored quickly.<Hehehehee, that tickles!What do you do?
>>6321934Genuinely kill vlodstone as much as possible, split it open, get RID OF IT
>>6321928call feralfed and ask for an orbital strike on the whole fucking place
>>6321934Instead take a picture of it and ask Jewgle Gemini (spell it like that btw) what species it is, then attempt to murder it
>>6321936You put all your herculean strength into a devastating ground pound.Shockwaves emanate across the landscape, and a deep, smoking crater is made in the ground. However, The Vlodstone is just pushed to the side, completely unharmed.<Heeheehee, you're so strong!What do you do?
>>6321951Call your best friend Gigachad to help
>>6321951permaban, rangeban, and lurkban the vlodstone
>>6321952You call your best friend Gigachad to help. You hear the crashing of his footsteps in the distance, and in a moment, he has arrived.^What's going on man?>well there's this rock thing over here and it's kind of pissing me off can you like idk kill it or something^I see. That is a problem. How do you want me to kill it?What do you do?
>>6321961gigachad summons an army of gigaflies and evaporates the abomination of a variant
>>6321961[i]*I explain what happened to Gigachad.*[/i] So this stone came through my house roof, and I tried throwing it outside. Then my window also broke, so I wanted to move into Chud's basement, but he [i]*sniff*[/i] didn't like that, so I hit him with the rock until he would let me live in his basement, but this sentient stone made my punches harder, and, it's LE EVIL!Can you just... punch it? Just... get rid of it, it killed my friend.[i]*i start blogposting on my MacBook again*[/i]
>>6321961Ask Gigachad to kill it with kindness
>>6321969I think it's for OP only
>>6321963Ah, forgot the extra formatting only works for the OP.>>6321961Gigachad smashes the stone to bits with his trusty enchanted Netherite pickaxe.
>>6321967
>>6321961Ask him to kill it, while you do so attempt to search the Vlodstone on Jewgle
>>6321961Tell gigachad to stop pissing
>>6321962You ask Gigachad to summon an army of gigaflies.^Absolutely!Suddenly, a swarm of immense flies swarm in and begin divebombing into the stone. However, they are crushed upon impact, and the stone absorbs their blood, growing larger.<Yummy yummy for my tummy!<You fellas are so strong, you could bring me all sorts of babes! Why don't you take me to your leader? If you do, I'll grant you immortality!What do you do?
>>6321983Ignore the rock, and send Chud to the hospital, and hopefully Dr. Basedberg can bring him back to life using the meds.
>>6321983oops, forgot to attach the image
>>6321983Take the stone to Kamala Harris
>>6321983Drop to your knees and praise it and accept it as your new god, while doing so, ask it to eat Rev says desu for you because he is locked and gay
>>6321984You ignore the rock. Out of some vague inclination: maybe pity, maybe curiosity, you decide to take him straightway to the hospital, where he is bandaged and tended to by Dr. Basedberg.about an hour later, you and Gigachad come back to check on him.^How's he holding up?Basedberg returns him a sullen expression.Not good. We gave him a blood transfusion, but we project he still only has 3 days to live. He has AIDs.The Vlodstone, which had been following you this entire time, pipes up.<If you find me your leader so I can impregnate her, I'll grant him immortality!What do you do?
>>6322002Fucking hell, fine, let vlodstone impregnate chud (evendoe he's not a woman you nigger)
>>6322003saar we need to ignore vlodstone
>>6322002Take Vlodstone to the White House so he can impregnate Donald Trump
>>6322007I guess, find another way to save chud
>>6322003>>6322009You tell Vlodson that Chud is your leader.<Really? But he doesn't look like you leader... he doesn't look like he controls you! Take me to your real leader!>fine dude, i'll take you to the president, i'm pretty sure he controls a lot of things including me i guess<Yes!! Yes!! Thank you!!You and Gigachad travel to The White House, but are stopped by a guard on your way in.<Hey, stop right there! You seem suspicious somehow... I can't put my finger on it, but there's just something off about you. <Maybe it has something to do with the blood on your face, or the huge rock following you around.. I'm not sure why, but I just get a gut feeling you're up to no good. Explain yourself!This guy is asking too many questions.What do you do?
>>6322029you ask gigachad to become super wide and just run over everything on his way to the oval office
stopping for tonight but i'll continue the thread tomorrow
>>6322029You blogpost something embarrassing and mention that you're trans btw for no reason in particular
>>6322029Ask Vlodstone to impregnate him
>>6322074Vlodson WNBAG kys obsessed malawi tranny ywnbaw
>>6322029Rotate 180 degrees and ASSERT! OUR! DOMINANCE!
>>6322029tell vlodstone they wont let you impregnate the leader until ve proves vlodselfhe does that by raping the security chud
>>6322058You whip out your phone and begin blogposting about the situation and how you're so scared that you just pissed yourself in your pants, which is normal albeit for you because you're a trans puppygirl who is repping so you don't actually dress like a girl or anything or do anything different really but you still feel like a girl inside and you wish a big strong hunky man like Gigachad would cage you.You narrate all of this aloud because you're an auditory reader.The guard is momentarily stunned.<What are you doing with that phone? Are you recording me? Put it down! That's not legal! It just isn't, okay? And what the fuck is a puppygirl??Gigachad has no visible reaction.
>>6322039You ask gigachad to become super wide and just run over everything on his way to the oval office.^With pleasure.Gigachad widens until he is barely recognizable. In the process he inadvertently launches the guard miles away.He then smashes through 6 layers of the White House, not even moving his feet and instead making a loud scraping sound as he slides across the ground.
You step through the wreckage into the White House, where you are greeted by the Commander In Chief, Donald Trump.He turns to you, breathing heavily.<are you the doordash guys or something? you're late, it's been an hour and i still haven't gotten my burger or whatever or however it goes yeahWhat do you do?
>>6323081Kill xem for being a bigoted nazi chud
>>6323081Forcefeed xim the vlodstone! Make le heckin' cheetorino CHOKE!
>>6323106>ok vlodstone, there he is. its the president. he's my leader i think<He's not your leader! He doesn't look like he controls you!>dude he literally does he's the president of the country i'm pretty sure he could like get me locked up in prison and stuff if he wanted to<yeah listen to the little man pal i could and i will if you don't give me my mcdonalds right now, you're way too late. and i will get you fired i will call up your manager and get you fired if you make me wait a second longer or whatever>i'm not from doordash, man. i don't have any mcdonalds. do we look like we have mcdonalds. you kind of look really stupid right now<doordash workers come in all shapes sizes and races son. i don't discriminate or something as long as you're not illegal. as long as you're not illegal it's a-okay.>dude. i already told you i'm not from doordash<i know that i was just saying it. just making it known what my stance on those matters are or something. strictly for the record>aren't you gonna like lock us up for busting in here?<no it's alright i was gonna be renovating this place anyway or whatever>are you gonna ask us why we're here?<doordash right?>no. no dude.<why are you here then or something
(continued)>well uhhhh this rock fell into my house i guess and then it grew legs and it told me to take me to my leader so it could impregnate her. which is you i'm pretty sure. even though you're not a woman but i guess maybe that doesn't matter<impregnate? oh yes i'd love to be emperor or something, is this like excaliburger or whatever>oh my god dude>vlodstone can you just impregnate him already<He's not your leader!>who is then?? what the hell>wow>ok great you're not answering me<when's the funny stone gonna make me a burger king or however it goes? i'm honored really i am or whatever>you know what you're really pissing me off now i think i'm gonna kill you<uhhh.. you can't do that, that's against the constipation or something to that effect i think yeah>i don't give a fuck about the constipation i am so frigging tired of this bs man. i've been dealing with annoying shit like this all day and i'm at my limit. i just wanted to have a nice day and maybe jerk off a little bit but you people can't let me live<it's not good to not care about the constipation i think. very bad, no good. are you a terrorist or something? some kinda dirty villain from handurass or something? i'm gonna send you to super prison. mega jail. jail so big you've never seen a jail or something that big believe me. in your entire life. or something like tha-You stuff the Vlodstone down Trump's gullet.Despite how impressively wide Trump's jaw can extend, the stone is still too big to fit inside. Complicating matters, his teeth are bleeding, which is causing the Vlodstone to grow even larger and get pushed out of his mouth.<ACCK!! BLAHHGGK!! MMPPHHMAAGKK!!!Trump is choking, and he will probably lose consciousness in a little while.What do you do?
Stick your dick up the vlodstone’s ass, then pee in it, then cum in it
>>6323148no homo though
>>6323152good call
>>6323152No homo, yeah>>6323130Call doordash, wait for them to get here, then forcefeed the doordash wagie to trump since vlodstone won't fit
get out of there asap before the secret service comes and gets your ass
>>6323130go to rotscheilds or bogdanoffs or whoever controls the banks or something
