OH SHIT NIGGA. You are lady Firemane. Of the (formerly) noble house of Fireborn! You were once the greatest wagon racer this side of the kingdom. Sadly due to shenanigans, you lost everything and went into debt with the Adventurer's Guild in order to survive. But then you found the Inexperienced Hero, Ezekiel "Kid" Rutebega ! You took him under your wing to mold him into the hero he's always meant to be: your devoted apprentice (probably)Ezekiel's older brother has started his campaign of destruction, he leads his hordes of undead barbarians to ravage the lands. As members of the guild, your party has went on the quest chain to stop said undead barbarian horde.In pursuit of said barbarian horde, the party is currently going through the SPOOKY FOREST™
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>6349652A very spooky spider block your path.
>>6349659>>6349659
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>6349663Cast a touch over the spider. Maybe it can unspookify the spider?
>>6349668
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>6349671Can we pass through, spider? What other spooky creature live in this forest?
>>6349676"There's like, living trees, undead, zombies, giant bats, ya know, the works"
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>6349679Ok. Got any side quest perhaps along the spooky shenanigans?
>>6349682"Well, there's this one crypt deep in the forest. Or the witches' hut. Also deep in the forest, but in the other direction"
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>6349684All right, let go with the witches' hut side quest. Maybe she have a way to go pass through the infinity herd of cows that blocking the route.
>>6349691
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>6349697Go to the right pass that may led to the witch hut.
>>6349700Surely you won't run into anything spooooky here
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>6349702Let the dice tell what we going to recounter. . . Hope it not too spooky.
>>6349709>9OH SHIT A SKELETON
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>6349725Is he a good skeltal?
What the fuck I thought OP was actually fucking dead for real this time.
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>6349725Is he?!
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>6349753Possibly?
>>6349754Yeah he looks pretty chill
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>6349753No
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>6349757Ask Mr.Skeltal about the witch
>>6349759"She's a terrible one! You'd be cursed if you deal with her, friend. She turned me into a newt!"
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>6349761Cool, any advice for dealing with her?
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>6349761A newt?
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>6349757Get in the car closer! We are going on an adventure!
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>6349761You don't look like a newt.
>>6349765"I got better"
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>6349766You aren't a dirty Knight Who says "Ni" are you?
>>6349767"Nah man, I'm just a skeleton. Observe how I am completely indifferent to this shrubbery"
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>6349769Good. I didn't want to bite your ankles.Where is the witch?
>>6349770"Oh just head down this road, past this giant evil murder unicorn"
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>6349778Cool. Thanks Mr.Skeltal. We'll be on our way.
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>6349778Wow. You hid that pretty well. Did you train it to appear dramatically like that?
>>6349779Mr Skeltal bids you good bye and leaves the screen
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>6349784Begin diplomacy with the giant evil murder unicorn.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>6349784Burn the shrubbery and peel out
>>6349787
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>6349793LOOK! OVER THERE! A VERY SPOOKY MAGICAL BUTTERFLY FLUTTERING TOWARD YOU!
Rolled 54 + 60 (1d100 + 60)>>6349800WILL FIREMANE CONVINCE THE UNICORN TO LOOK OVER THERE?
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>6349811What the fuck do you mean he gets a +60 to the roll?
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>6349812>1THE UNICORN GETS MAD AND CHARGES AT YOU!
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>6349815Good thing our wagon was built for exactly this kind of scenario.
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>6349819The unicorn pierces the ground where you stood, but you swerved out of the way in time!
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>6349824Oh no, he's catching back up!?
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>6349824Spin-n
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>6349828The Unicorn attempts to kick you! But you spun Shitfucker around just in time!
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>6349834Blaze-on, Shitfucker.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>6349834Beat this Unicorn's ass!
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>6349834KILL THAT NIGGA
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>6349843Channeling the fireknight powers of Firemane and Ezekiel, Shitfucker is launched straight at the Unicorn! Slamming into its giant evil undead murder face!
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>6349856A critical hit!?
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>6349856Break the horn with a spin kick!
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>6349858POWER CLASH!
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>6349865Button mashhhhhh
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>6349865BUTTON MASH HARDER!!! UUUUOOOOOOH!
>>6349867MASSSSSHHHHHH
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>6349875THE POWER SURGES! PRESS THE BUTTON HARDER!
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>6349875Kaboooom
>>6349894>>6349878
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>6349897Negotiations: Concluded.
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>6349897Take horn
>>6349898With diplomacy finished, you are able to head deeper into the spooky forest, now slightly brighter thanks to your shenanigans.Ezekiel looks at you with admiration while Night Knightess mumbles something about you being a brute or whatever. Double Wizard and Fist of God just chill out in the backseat, having nothing to do this episode so far.All's well that ends well. Imma uh, go to bed now, bread continues like, tomorrow probs.Updates b here n shit: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>6349652oh there you are, I don't use social media and was afraid something happened when I didn't see you on the board for a while.
>>6349905X didn't inform me that you had a thread. Feels like YouTube not telling me about my subscriptions. They are literally phasing out humans in social media with AI. Why? I have crazy theories. Like using an AI loop so that even users are replaced by AI and corporations get money from advertisers and only AI responds.
>>6350148>>6350274
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>6350310Another random spooky recounter appear.
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>6350310It all them barbarians fault! They can't run social media!
>>6350317HOLY SHIT ZOMBIES
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>6350414communist zombies
>>6350415this was the 69th post surely this means we have to have sex with Ezekiel
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>6349652rolling
>>6350424Not sure if firemane or night knightess
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>6350415This is the real problem
Well I got the highest roll which means me anon supporter of Firemane wins the section. Which means Ezekiel must have sex with Firemane.and we finally get an actual sex scene drawn by OP
>>6350557Maybe a titjob since real artist and creator of the quest notapaladin on x.com keeps making her tits bigger to prevent anons from leaving the quest.
>>6350628Cowgirl reveling in pleasure. I can be horny too. Just don't like constant romantic comedy every thread we do.
>>6350630What unchecked consumption of anime does to a motherfucker. Totally annihilates the dopamine receptors, it leaves them incapable of voting for anything other than porn actions in quests. Real shame to see.
>>6350633Yeah...
As much as I would like to see Firemane and Ezekiel finally do it, you can't just force these things.
>>63506434chan users thinks another 4chan user is being 100 percent genuine with his vote in a shitpost quest.
>>6350633>>6350643You say that, yet you aren't for rolling anything else. Besides, we almost got to that point during the multiverse episode.
>>6350661I don't think I can roll for anything else, I voted for that because it was clear that we entered another hiatus and my roll is obviously something that's going to be ignored because obviously it a joke that would get us nowhere in the current context of the situation. Please get over yourselves.
>>6350680Take a chill pill.
>>6350415>>6350680
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>6350768Dear lord, they're maoists!
>>6350772Dios mio!
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>6350774More crosses are needed
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>6350780I mean yeah hard to argue with that
>>6350780Incoming crosses
>>6350780As if on cue, Fist of God steps forward and blasts the communists with crosses
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>6351315And then they explode
>>6351318
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>6351319Very nice. Now time to take a detour into the obligatory Christmas holiday special.
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>6351319Well then, How far to travel is the witch hut, Double Wizard?
>>6351327"About 2 more random encounters, at most"
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>6351330We don't have TIME for random encounters Time for fast travel
>>6351331"But can we even fast travel to a location we've never been to?"
>>6351335It's alright, we'll just open the console and type>tmm 1
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>6351336
>>6351338>tmm 1
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>6351341It just works.FAST TRAVEL AWAY.
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>6351341A spooky reindeer randomly appear next to Night Knightess.
>>6351342>>6351346
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>6351350And then they spawned right next to a spooky reindeer.
>>6351352
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>6351355Is it doing anything?
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>6351357Roll against whatever my dice is to see!....for next time! Cuz I gotta sleep now! Communist overlords aint giving christmas holidays
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>6351359Damn
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>6351359Rollen
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>6351359
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>6351359
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>6351359You tease, you give Knightess a sexy christmas outfit, but you ignore our protagonist, the one that literally fights for us, Fist of God.
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>6351359NightSister valiantly protects Ezekiel by pulling him into the comforting confines of her chest
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>6351359What the dog doing?
>no anon rolled above a 91
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>6351689Tactically planned so that Night Knightess would lose her helmet in the fight against the reindeer which would force OP to draw her face.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>6351689What now!? Notorious FoG!? What should we do!?
>>6351690My god! Night Knightess' hat has been knocked off! Right over there! Offscreen!
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>6351692OH MY GOD OP TURN THE CAMERA YOU FAT FUCK, WE NEED TO SEE!
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>6351692Drink a beer then
>>6351694"My god! A can of beer! Right over there! Offscreen!
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>6351695Fist of God and Double Wizard do be sippin' on those brewskies.
>>6351696
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>6351699Do you believe in double Jesus?
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>6351699Observe Night Knightess getting her ass beat by undead wildlife.
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>6351699Now, switch back the camera to Night Knightess.
>>6351700Of course. Double Jesus. Who wields double crosses.Like nunchucks.Crosschucks
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>6351704Man that's the coolest Jesus I know hey what's that's bitch doing
>>6351705
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>6351706Okay Firemane, think back to Fire School. What did your old mentor say about undead reindeer during holiday specials?
>>6351707Ah yes. Let's remember the wise words of Sir Flamesby:"HOLY SHIT AN UNDEAD RAINDEER AAAAAHHHHH" then he burned the classroom down
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>6351709Right then, guess we need to build a classroom to burn down. How do we go about doing that?
>>6351710Unfortunately you never paid attention in shop classDue to burning it down, you see. Firemane was kind of a delinquent back then
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>6351714Damn those were the good old days. Get lost in the memories of being a delinquent.
>>6351715
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>6351719Horrifying behaviour!
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>6351719You bitch!
>>6351725
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>6351735HALT, MISCREANT! THIS IS THE KING'S ROYAL CONSTABULARY!
>>6351736Oh shit it's the cop knights
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>6351740Cheese it!
>>6351743
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>6351751More!
>>6351754
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>6351759Night Knight is strolling down the hallway.
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>6351759MORE! SWISS, CHEDDAR, COTTAGE, AND BLUE!
>>6351760
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>6351776HA, NERD!
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>6351776Is that Stacey Burgerson?
>>6351778"Endure it...Night Knight. You'll have your day...one day"
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>6351784Your day, in Hell!
>>6351785
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>6351789Pick up Night Knight and drag him to a wagon race.
>>6351797
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>6351802'Time for a race, nerd. Let see what you got!"Perceive to dunk Night Knight into the wagon.
>>6351807"Can't we talk this out?"
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>6351813Why?
>>6351814"I bruise easily"gotta go eat brb
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>6351816Well someone is gonna race and I don't see nobody else.
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>6351816shut up and drive, NERD
>>6351816He never came back .... Brb means nothing to the internet any more.
>>6352216Ah, no, you see, when he said "brb", he meant "birb", as in "gotta go eat bird"
>>6352217trve
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>6352218So are you finished?
>>6352221Probably, uh, in like 20 hours
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>6352224I... I was nice today.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>6353035Damn proxy banned people! They keep using me as a proxy! Or I think that's how it works?
>>6352218Well!?
>>6353486Work got me so tired I overslept.Fuuuucking woooops
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>6354097"Come now, nerd. The race is about to start."Firemane hop in at the back seat of the wagon.
>>6354107
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>6354115What the other participants that join this race?
>>6354121Look! It's Nameless FaceLess Only Appears In Flashback Knight!
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>6354125Grumble grumble fuckin baron telling me I'm grounded grumble grumble.
>>6354131And next to him, the Brat Knight!
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>6354135Well time to swagger over to our hotrod wagon which is indubitably one of the finest four wheeled forms of transportation in this kingdom
>>6354142
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>6354145Wow, we must be such an inspiration for hoodlums everywhere!
>>6354151Hoodlum Knight taking notes
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>6354154Now lets see the sexy flag waver who'll wave the flag to signla the start of the race.
>>6354155
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>6354159The countdown! It has begun!
>>6354161
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>6354162READY... SET... Snap back to reality! During our flashback, Ezekiel has defeated the Reindeer and Night Knightess is now trying smoother him in her boobs for saving her! This is outrageous!
>>6354163
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>6354167Quickly, disarm the situiation before we become the secondary love interest!
>>6354168
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>6354170>convenient plot happeningIT HAS A SECOND PHASE!
>>6354173
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>6354178Go go Firemane, it is your time to shine!
>>6354188
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>6355124GET DUNKED ON
>>6355126The explosion temporarily lit up the spooky forest
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>6355132Alright, who's not dead? Sound off.
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>6355132Everyone walks away from an explosion with cool glasses on
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>6355132Satan had really bad diarrhea there
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>6355132He just kept chugging along. Chugga-chugga-chugga-chuggachugga-chugga-chugga-chuggaToot! TOOT!
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>6355132Got rid of x cuz now the grok AI is allowed to steal shit and claim it as x's property
>>6355133"A-""No no. She said "Sound OFF". That clearly means keep quiet. You gotta think about this stuff abit, Kiddo"
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>6357285Oh no, I guess Night Knightess was killed by the deer when nobody was looking. That's so sad...just gone, like that.
>>6357294"Hey! That's not what happened!"Sometimes...you can still hear her voice. Ooooh what a tragic fate
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>6357308You should probably start getting back on the car and going back on track to our goal.
>>6357312And so the party heads deeper into the spooky forest. BAck on track for when...OP wakes up later.Hopefully the communist overlords wont have another week of overtime for me when I wake up
>>6357318Thanks for running. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, ya filthy animal.
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>6357318The forest starts having Las Vegas vibes
>>6357791My god. The scariest of all.Capitalism
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>6358658Plot twist! Turns out the "Witch Hut" is actually a giant, evil casino.
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>6358658caesars palace
>>6358659
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>6358665go inside. slots are calling
>>6358665It's time for GAMBLINGGo in, we have a bunch of money anyway right?
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>6358671
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>6358665Truth is... the game was rigged from the start.
