You are an ONI! A fierce mythical deman! You are ONE second old! Yep, you just came into being right here right now. Yet some how you are not only fully grown, but you understand what you are. Along with what the world is, language, concepts like gravity, and even the birds and the bees! wow! What will your first action be on this bitch of an earth? >What do? - Contemplate how you came to be- Declare your dominance of earth land and sea to the heavens! - Find a big stick to use as a club- Become aware of your surroundings- Write in
>>6422195>- Declare your dominance of earth land and sea to the heavens!I mean c'mon
>>6422195>Contemplate how you came to be
>>6422195>- Declare your dominance of earth land and sea to the heavens!Stronk woni
>>6422195>Declare your dominance of earth land and sea to the heavens!
>>6422195>- Become aware of your surroundings
>>6422195>Declare your dominance of earth land and sea to the heavens!I already feel dominated
>>6422195>- Contemplate how you came to be
>>6422195>What do?- Contemplate how much of a flake you are
>>6422195>- Contemplate how you came to be>Then change the title to Boob Oni
You shout a challenge towards the heavens! "Woe to you oh heaven earth and sea! Everything belongs to me! For I claim dominance of all I see!" You receive nothing but silence in return, but you know your enemies now work to bring about your downfall. Pathetic! You will run them down like dogs!
In order to hasten the predetermined collapse of your enemies, you also check your surroundings and Contemplate how you came to be. You are far into the mountains of a region known as Hekora province. All around you are untamed wilderness. You know this intuitively. How? Well the answer is simple. Next to you are the bones of a women who's memories you inherited. She was a local shrine maiden who came to banish a demon. She FAILED big time but her loss was your win because an oni plant grew on her body and gave birth to you! Wow! Really cool backstory. Even though you have this womens memories and knowledge, you are not her! You just parasited her brain, or at least this plant did. Its a very complicated origin story. Its a dangerous thing to willow in this women's memories however, because suddenly you feel SHAME for being naked. Oh no! That's potentially a permanent debuff. >What do? - Training arc, time to become SWOLE - Get dressed using the scraps of her clothing! - Look for the demon that slayed this women- run care free through the wilderness- Write in
>>6422227- Get dressed using the scraps of her clothing!
>>6422227>- Training arc, time to become SWOLE>- Get dressed using the scraps of her clothing!
>>6422227>Get dressed using the scraps of her clothing! Intimidate local demons (POTENTIAL RIVALS!) by LARPing as a shrine maiden then kill them with bare hands. Simple plans are the best, no?
>>6422227>Training arc, time to become SWOLEWe don't need clothes. We'll use our BULK to intimidate our foes
>>6422227>- Training arc, time to become SWOLE Develop a body to be proud of, and shame will fade.
-Get dressed using the scraps of her clothing!
>>6422227>- Get dressed using the scraps of her clothing!
>>6422227>- Training arc, time to become SWOLEWe have dominion over all the earth, neither climate nor modesty can constrain us with clothes!
You grab whatever is left of the maidens clothing to cover yourself. Unfortunately, the clothing is quite torn and you are TOO BIG to fit. However, you are not actually ashamed of being NAKED, you are ashamed that you are not wearing clothing! Somehow this feels lewder, being an oni sure is tough.
You have not been alive for even five minutes and you have already begun your training arc! Its time to get BIG. Just in time a wild HOG appears, he has heard your challenge to the heavens and has come to dispute your claims. He will be the FIRST obstacle you must surmount on this bitch of an earth. >Roll 1d10!
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>6422273THE BESTEST STRONGEST LEWDEST ONI
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>6422273
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>6422273Boar? More like gored!>>6422281NICE HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>6422281Based.>>6422273Looks like pork for dinner.
>>6422289
10/10 You HEAVE the boar up into the air with your TITANIC MIGHT. Through this mighty feat you reveal to yourself that you have [bold][3][/bold] strength, that means that you roll a best of 3 dice when resolving feats of strength! Additionally, you note that the higher the number on the dice the better quality of outcome! This completes the basic combat tutorial. The boar wiggles its feet impotently, awaiting the spine shattering suplex you are poised to deliver. What do?- Eat pork- Befriend Pork
>>6422300>EAT PORK
>>6422300>Subjugate PorkBow and pledge (or oink) yourself to us and yo will be spared. Disobey and you will be eaten!
>>6422300FEAST ON THE PORKdid the maiden know how to cook?
>>6422300- Eat pork
Time passes as you claim dominion over the surrounding woods. You eat pork, birds, whatever beast of the land you can catch. You become so good at eating meat that you can even do it in your sleep! Nothing really comes to bother you and you simply enjoy the sun and the BIG CHILL. You are now one month old, congratulations! What do now? > Big chill part 2: blue summer> Continue the training arc and look for BIGGER enemies to fight> come down from the mountains and terrorize the local village > Just wait for something to happen, its a quest after all!> write in
>>6422304>did the maiden know how to cook?Yep! But if you focus too hard on it you may unearth some memories, and get a past life debuff. Maybe next time you will find yourself needing to wear shoes!
>>6422323>Continue the training arc and look for BIGGER enemies to fightAs it is with shrine maidens, just walk around aimlessly somewhere and you'll find trouble in no time!
>>6422323> Continue the training arc and look for BIGGER enemies to fightNo need to leave home when lie is so good here, right?
>>6422323>come down from the mountains and terrorize the local village
>>6422323>> Continue the training arc and look for BIGGER enemies to fightTake pig fur, wrap it around feet.
>>6422323>> Continue the training arc and look for BIGGER enemies to fightif we COOK, we get MORE GAINZ
>>6422358Maybe we can even find the DEMON that SLAYED our PAST LIFE. Beating us up? Even if we didn't exist yet? We can't let that slide!
>>6422323>Continue the training arc and look for BIGGER enemies to fightWe can't just keep our strength to ourself, all of creation should be able to witness our magnitude.
>>6422323> Big chill part 2: blue summerChillax, it's summer.
>>6422323>come down from the mountains and terrorize the local villageok hear me outHusband
>>6422323> Continue the training arc and look for BIGGER enemies to fight
>>6422323>> Continue the training arc and look for BIGGER enemies to fight
>>6422323>Big chill part 2: blue summer
>>6422397>HusbandThat comes after becoming stronger.
>>6422540
>>6422323> Continue the training arc and look for BIGGER enemies to fightTRAIIIIIN>>6422540Quiet, you
>>6422540Damn he was actually silenced. Blu Onigrill is really that strong
>>6422542>>6422567>>6422597wh-what happened?
>>6422617Some anon was being rude about the art
>>6422617Sojourner hater, was bound to happen
There will be many summers to laze around in the future when your rule is secured, this is the time to think about getting big! You spend the next two months stomping around and picking fights with whoever you can find. Mostly you find bears, but you also find some yōkai to wrestle and test your might against! At some point, you encounter a river spirit that seems to come back to life each week making, for an excellent sparing partner.
"There you are you damn pup!" a voice calls out and distracts you long enough for the river spirit to squirm away. "I am Boris the Great demon boar of Hekora province!!! I have been looking for the one who has been consuming my subjects and disrupting the balance of the eco system!!!""Who you be?" you ask "What you want with me?" "HUH!?? Are you DUMB? I Just told you!">Well? are you dumb?-Yeah, you dumb, you have 1 INT-So-so, you have 2 INT-Nah, you smart, you have 3 INT
>>6422655>-So-so, you have 2 INTToo stupid is lame. Too smart is lame.
>>6422655>SO-SO>WHY DO YOU GET TO PROMPT HOW SMART I AM HUH?>PUNCH HIM
>>6422655>-Nah, you smart, you have 3 INT>Punch him. Since violence is perfectly fine solution to a lot of problems.
>>6422655>-Nah, you smart, you have 3 INT>punch him
>>6422655>-Nah, you smart, you have 3 INTWe're smart enough to know that sometimes, acting dumb is the way to be.>>6422658Support punching him for calling us dumb!
>>6422655>-Yeah, you dumb, you have 1 INT>>6422648Especially absurd because even the most obnoxious antisoj ought to acknowledge his art.
You aren't dumb! You are either really smart or so-so smart, you are not 100% sure yet. Either way, you are smart enough to know those sound like FIGHTING words."They don't sound! They ARE fighting words!" You were looking for the top pig around these parts, and it looks like you found him! However, this guy is no push over! This hog will STOMP your first dice roll down by 2 points! And your second dice roll by 1 point!>STR check, Roll 3 1d10s!
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>6422759Oh yeah??? We'll stomp HIM!
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>6422759
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>6422759KILL
>>6422765>STOMP ON ME? I'LL STOMP ALL OVER YOU, HAHA!
>>6422765
You pound the pork until he is minced extra lean ground meat! The smack down was so one sided it was actually demoralizing! Is there no one on this mountain to test your strength? How can you grow stronger without REAL enemies to test your might??? >what do?- eat pork- subjugate pork- write in
>>6422793>eat porkTotal Porker Death
>>6422793>- eat pork
>>6422793>COOK and eat pork. preferably skinned
>>6422793SUBJUGATE HIM by eating him, COOK HIM
>>6422793>eat pork>Theow scraps to river spirit
>>6422793>subjugate porkDunno about eating this one, he could talk
>>6422793>- subjugate porkIt has hands
This ain't no kids story folks, you savage your enemy and grind his bones into your bread. That's just how blue Oni roll. Once you eat him up you enemy will be gone for good, and you will be KING of the mountain."Excuse me but that is incorrect, yōkai can't simply be killed by destroying their bodies. It may take several years but even weak spirit will eventually return." the water spirit interjects Yes, this is true. You know it to be true. For you to completely be rid of this spirit you would need to exercise it. You also know that because you slew and ate the spirit of the land, soon the animals will migrate away from here and the soil will turn barren until he can one day return. Now that you have devastated the region and bested its strongest spirit, you no longer have a reason to stay here.>what do?- Delve into your memories for the knowledge needed to exercise the spirit- "Holy shit you can talk?"- Ok, now its finally time to terrorize the local village - Time to leave your home and go on a journey- Write in
>>6422857>- Ok, now its finally time to terrorize the local villageTime to discover the joys of sake.
>>6422857>- Ok, now its finally time to terrorize the local village
>>6422857>- Delve into your memories for the knowledge needed to exercise the spiritIf we exercise the spirit, it'll have more meat on its bones the next time it comes back. 3 Int move right here!
>>6422857>- Ok, now its finally time to terrorize the local villageMight as well bring them the bad news
>>6422857>- Ok, now its finally time to terrorize the local villageMaybe your shrine maiden host had a nice village boy she liked. You can kidnap him for yourself.
>>6422857- "Holy shit you can talk?"Honestly a bit of a bro for hanging out and wrestling with us this whole time.
>>6422857>"Holy shit you can talk?"
>>6422857>-"Holy shit you can talk?"Maybe the fish will acknowledge our primacy and come with us when we...>- Ok, now its finally time to terrorize the local village
>>6422857>Ok, now its finally time to terrorize the local village
The changes your actions have wrought bring swift consequence, as you have not seen a single boar since you started descending down the mountain. The closer you get to the village the emptier you stomach gets and soon enough you are getting that hunger meanness. Soon you start to find human trails and its not long after you started to follow one do you encounter a convoy! With a loud below and stomp the humans abandon their carts and run down the trail in terror! leaving you with their tasty prizes.
Among the goods they leave behind you find a barrel of sake!!! You don't know how it tastes due to your sire's abstinence, but you do know its prized among those who partake! >What do?- Try a sip! Everyone always has a great time! - No! No good comes from drinking this evil liquid! -write in
>>6422967>Try a sip! Everyone always has a great time!Are you telling me this water is stronger than her? I think not!
>>6422967>Try a sip! Everyone always has a great time!PARTY
>>6422967>No! No good comes from drinking this evil liquid!
>>6422967>- No! No good comes from drinking this evil liquid! Teetotaler oni is amusing.
>>6422967>- No! No good comes from drinking this evil liquid!This is a trap! And The Smartest Oni is fully capable of avoididing traps.
>>6422967>Invite fish to drink with us
>>6422985>less oni shenanigans is amusing
>>6422990+1>SPEAK TO US, O VENERABLE AND MIGHTY FISH SPIRIT>LIBATE HIM THOROUGHLY, WHICH IS TO SAY GET HIM RIP ROARING DRUNK MWAHAHA
>>6422967 Try a sip! Everyone always has a great time!
>>6422967Fish needs water. Put fish in the barrel for being such a great friend to you. Perhaps the water spirit will turn into a sake spirit, which is highly prized if you understand it right.
>>6422967+1 to inviting fish in barrel to drink with us
>>6422967>>No! No good comes from drinking this evil liquid!
>>6422996>Implying we can't have shenanigans soberOur personal history stands in stark opposition to this assessment.
>>6422967>- No! No good comes from drinking this evil liquid!>Give drink to fish, drinking like a fish is an expression for a reason.
>>6422655this art, manwhat the...very cool
>>6422967This quest is awesome, I just caught up. I support the anons who want to take the booze back to our fish partner.
"drinking sake would be a mistake, it would result in a headache! Better to eat some rice cake, to save me self from the bellyache!" You say the words even though they are not your own, even still you feel compelled to obey them. You have chosen the path of abstinence. The sake drum can still be of some use however, you can give it to the river spirit. Why drink the junk when you can throw it in the river instead?
You continue your decent of the mountain until you reach the river that has grown in size as it too travels downwards. You raise the drum of sake above your head and offer it to the river spirit!"Don't throw that in here"But its a gift"Don't want it">what do?-You WILL drink the sake-oh... ok-reflect on the shrine maidens memories of the river spirit-write in
>>6423268>You WILL drink the sakeShe will learn to drink and she will LIKE ITeven if she's dead
>>6423269ah sorry, that write in was meant to be a "force the river spirit to drink the sake" I suppose that wasn't clear enough
>>6423270Can I write-in to make her drink the sake instead?
>>6423268-reflect on the shrine maidens memories of the river spirit
>>6423272I think good questing etiquette would be to wait at least 10 or so updates before challenging something that was fairly voted for.
>>6423268>-reflect on the shrine maidens memories of the river spiritWould cooking and eating the river spirit be good if we cooked it in sake?
>>6423268>OH... OK. >HOTEL MARIO CUTSCENE MUSIC>SHRINE MAIDEN FLASHBACK
>>6423321+1Unlock the secrets of culinary arts
>>6423268>-reflect on the shrine maidens memories of the river spirit
>>6423268>You WILL drink the sakeTurn down our gift will you?!?!
>>6423268-You WILL drink the sake
>>6423268>-You WILL drink the sake
You dive deep into your mind and recall what you know of this river spirit. thinking... thinking... THOUGHT! This is a famous and well known spirit! You have been wrestling with a celebrity this whole time. Wow, small world! This spirit is known by many names and worshipped differently in the villages and towns that populate its river. This is because as the river travels and the wider it becomes, the spirit grows in strength with it. Leading to a case of mistaken identity. You also recall something you didn't want to know, this spirit is the one who sent the shrine maiden on the quest that would lead to her death! Uh-oh, this is dangerous brain territory. >What do?- Disregard newfound knowledge and continue your journey to raid the human village!- Delve deeper into this mystery!- Ask for a ride down river! - Sashimi the spirit while he is WEAK!- Write in
>>6423546>- Disregard newfound knowledge and continue your journey to raid the human village!What could go wrong?
>>6423546- Disregard newfound knowledge and continue your journey to raid the human village!We're too smart to be tricked by the shrine maidens memories: Some good raiding will steady our mind and let us focus on dominating everything like we decided.
>>6423546>Ask for a ride down river!
>>6423546>- Ask for a ride down river!Clearly it owes us. Free river travel pass written on a rock.
>>6423546>- Delve deeper into this mystery!"Oi! Who killed human-me? Nobody can kill me, even if I'm not me yet!"
>>6423546- Delve deeper into this mystery!
>>6423546>- Delve deeper into this mystery!>- Ask for a ride down river! The classic walk n talk combo.
>>6423546Switching my vote from >>6423574to +1 for>>6423640
>>6423640+1 for this...
>>6423640+1
>>6423546>- Ask for a ride down river!
The river spirit gives you a ride down the river, growing in size himself as he does so. You discus your mutual connection the the shrine maiden. This surprises the river spirit, who was previously unaware of the connection nor was he aware of her death. He tells you that he contacted the shrine maidens much further down the river at their temple, to sort out a growing darkness in the mountains. Eventually the darkness cleared and things returned to normal. Generally, he doesn't care much for humans, and believing the matter resolved, he never followed up. You know the maiden did not succeed in her task, but are unwilling to delve deeper and find out why. At least for now.
Later that night, the river spirit drops you off near the human village and parts ways. Warning you to be wary of humans as he does so. From yonder away, you can smell the uniform aroma of many dinners being cooked. You are eager to being your reign of terror. >What do?- Eat their chickens, yum!- Start smashing everything in sight and make a general nuisance of yourself- Home invasion by an unexpected dinner guest- Declare yourself the new ruler of the village- Act like a normal polite traveller would- Write in
>>6423846>Act like a normal polite traveller wouldThe humans won't suspect a thing
>>6423857Let's ask how we can go about getting whatever smells so good. +1>>6423846
>>6423846>Declare yourself the new ruler of the villageThey'll bring us the finest dinner
>>6423846>Home invasion by an unexpected dinner guest
>>6423846>Home invasion by an unexpected dinner guest>Destroy the entire world (or at least the table) if someone goes who are you
>>6423846>- Act like a normal polite traveller wouldGather info. We could declare ourself their ruler a bit later, after learning who should be beaten/eaten to usurp his position.
>>6423846>- Home invasion by an unexpected dinner guest
>>6423846>Act like a normal polite traveller would
>>6423846>Home invasion by an unexpected dinner guestWe don't even have the excuse of severe alcoholism. We're just an asshole.
"Ohayo gozaimasu!" You greet the the startled human as you enter his domicile."I have came from far away, so at your home I have chosen to stay. If you have something for me to eat, that would be a very nice treat!" You pick the human up by the waist and carry him deeper into the home and away and towards the delicious smell of cooking!
You join your new humans friends for dinner, so much food they share with you! There is meat and bread, and cheese, and sweets! You have memories of such things, but this is the first time your taste buds enjoyed first hand experience. You cant get enough of the sweet rice balls! You see now why bears risk the wrath of angry bees. A memory simply did not do this justice! They offer you sake as well, but you decline explaining your abstinence. You inform the eldest human on the evils of alcohol. Your words must have great wisdom since he stops drinking after the lecture. >What do?- Spend the night of course, it would be rude to leave- Thank them and go to the next house, you're still hungry!- Eat one of them- Get into unrelated mischief somewhere in the village - write in
>>6423977>Spend the night of course, it would be rude to leaveThat one on our right is looking awfully red, is he ok?
>>6423977>Spend the night of course, it would be rude to leave>>6423984Must have been the one who was picked up from the waist. Hope She didnt hurt him.
>>6423977>Thank them and go to the next house, you're still hungry!Are all of them this nice? Do they already recognize us as their ruler? How do the neighbor's riceballs taste? Time to find out!
>>6423977-Ask the guy with the red cheeks if he's feeling ok. You'll need to invade a bit of his personal space to check his face.-Spend the night of course, it would be rude to leave
>>6423977>Spend the night of course, it would be rude to leave- Ask if there are any BIG, STRONG enemies nearby to fight.
>>6424031+1Funniest option, of course.
>>6424031+1
You have so much fun you decide to honour the humans with a nights stay! ushering them all upstairs you turn in for the night. Dreaming of what fun you will have tomorrow!
>>6424409HEY, someone stole our emotional support simp!
You awake in the morning to find all your human friends gone... But you quickly smell roast chicken outside! Your hosts must be preparing a yummy breakfast for you! How nice! When you step outside however... AMBUSH! The humans have betrayed you! The smell of chicken is nothing more then a lure! Although weak alone, humans form packs and when attacking together they can be very dangerous. Several men advance towards you with boar spears, while two others spread cal-tropes at your feet and even drop a net upon you!!! >What do?- "If you want a fight, Ill show you my might!!" [STR]- "She who eat sand runs away, lives to fight another day!" [DEX]- "I have done nothing to make you fear, Who is the real monster here?" [INT]
>>6424413>- "If you want a fight, Ill show you my might!!" [STR]You don't steal an oni's man pillow and get away with it!
>>6424413>"If you want a fight, Ill show you my might!!" [STR]Let's teach these weaklings what REAL strength looks like!
>>6424413>- "If you want a fight, Ill show you my might!!" [STR]
>>6424413- "If you want a fight, Ill show you my might!!" [STR]Withdraw into the house and fight in/near the doorway where the humans can't bring their number advantage to bear.
>>6424413>"I have done nothing to make you fear, Who is the real monster here?" [INT]Oh man they have a lot of sharp pointy things
>>6424413>"The walls of this house are light! I'll show you, I could have just left in the night!" [Run but it's STR, go through the wall]
>>6424413>- "I have done nothing to make you fear, Who is the real monster here?" [INT]Its not like we tried to invade or hurt anyone. Dicks.
These humans have elected the way of PAIN! You chose to POWER through their feeble attempt to trap you! However, since there are so many humans each of your dice will be busy dealing with its own problems! Each Dice roll matters here not just the biggest! >STR check, Roll 3 1d10s!
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>6424453
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>6424453
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>6424453
>>6424456>>6424457>>6424459Pretty decent spread...
>>6424409Like crabs in a bucket.
>>6424504It won't be enough, they've got a tiny net
We will definitely succeed 100% for sure.And then we'll steal our new husband back.
>>6424559Oh fuck its over. Quest was fun while it lasted.
>>6424720
You charge the humans and shatter their spears! They may have the numbers but they lack the GUTS to fight you. There are no warriors here only villagers. The cal-tropes prove to be your toughest opponent as they pierce and lodge themselves in your feet! In near minutes the humans lose heart and scatter before your onslaught. The caltropes prevent you from pursuing...
You don't have go move far to reach your next opponent however. As the sea of villagers parts you are faced down by a lone samurai warrior. "I am the magistrate of this town! I will protect it!!! EEE YYAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH"He draws his blade and comes at you!!! The skill of this samurai allows him to reduce your lowest dice to zero!!!! >STR check, Roll 3 1d10s!
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>6424984
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>6424984EAT FOOT ASSHOLES
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>6424984oi
>>6424987Someone must have thought this Samurai wrong as a joke, as he stumbled over himself in the assault. Leaving himself open to get sat on and crushed. With that your victory is complete, other then the pain in your feet. Ouchies! The villagers have scattered and fled in every which way leaving you in charge of the town. >What do?- Leave peacefully - Leave violently- Demand monthly tribute from the villagers - Declare yourself the new magistrate- Eat someone to assert dominance - Hunker down and recover from your battle- Write in
>>6425045taught* oof
>>6425045Ask them if the reason they attacked you while you were asleep was because you were snoring.
>>6425048You know what I'll back this. I was gonna vote leave peacefully but this is much funnier.
>>6425048>>6425045Support. Also grab our designated cuddle-human and make him pick the caltrops out of our feet.
>>6425045>- Declare yourself the new magistratemy new empire!
>>6425045>Someone must have thought this Samurai wrong as a jokeA practitioner of his face to our fist style, in this day and age?>Demand monthly tribute from the villagersOur NEET life begins now
>>6425045>Eat someone to assert DominanceSamurai and Sashimi start with the same two letters, which means they must both be food. This logic is flawless
>>6425048>Attacking someone for snoringI understand+1
>>6425045>- Declare yourself the new magistrateIt obviously means something like "toughest guy" and that's us!>>6425054+1 to this as well, lest they doubt us.
>>6425045>Declare yourself the new magistrate
>>6425045>- Eat someone to assert dominance
>>6425045>Demand monthly tribute from the villagers
>>6425045>>6425048 +1
>>6425048+1
>>6425045>>6425048 +1 That's definitely the reason, surely they wouldn't attack us just because we're an Oni.
>>6425045>>6425048+1 this. Rather make sure before we up and eat someone
>>6425048I'll always give a write-in a +1 when it's funny
>>6425045>Ask snoring question >>6425048>Have pillow boy pick caltrops >>6425050>Eat samurai >>6425054>Declare dominance >>6425063
>>6425050I don't know about the feet stuff but I do support getting the cuddle human back.
>>6425048+1, also>-Declare yourself the new magistrate
>>6425199We can't walk around with giant spikes in our feet! Clearly, since the humans put them in there, he humans are the ones who should take them out!
Your first assumption is that maybe the humans attacked you because your snoring was too loud? "NO! OF COURSE NOT!!!" The magistrate pushes his forehead into the ground and continues apologising "It was a misunderstanding!!! A big misunderstanding! That's all! I was not properly informed of the important prominent guest we had in our village. A thousand apologies, oh great and powerful oni!!! LET US SHOW OUR RESPECT AND GRATITUDE FOR YOUR VISIT!!!"Hmmmm, you would like to believe this or that. But the truth is, you are too smart to fall for this right? After all, you have at least [2] INT right? You SHOULD be able to understand that they attacked you because you are an oni. The simple truth is Humans fear Oni, and they have ample reason to do so. The shrine maidens' own memories remind you of three oni incidents that resulted in the death of many humans. Indeed, you yourself chased off some humans in order to steal their goods and throw their sake in the river... Perhaps it is the destiny of man and oni to be at odds forever. You should know this, after all, you ARE of at least middling intelligence right? However, with your experience as an Oni and with the shrine maiden's memories, you can see both sides of the matter. Perhaps even work to fix this misunderstanding and bring about peace… Assuming you are not dumb as a rock.
The battle has left you feeling dizzy, you are not exactly sure what to do next. Additionally, It's very early in the morning and so many thoughts are entering your mind! You decide to take a moment to sort out your brain and decide on four very important things. >please vote on all 4 things...A: Are you smart or are you dumb? -NO! I changed my mind! we are dumb 1 INT oni... Arent onis cuttest when they are almost retarded???-SIGH, yeah we are smart... We obviously understand we got attacked because we are an oni since we have at least [2] INTB: Declare yourself the new magistrate and demand monthly tribute from the villagers?- NO, lets just LEAVE the biggots and GO. - YES, fall is coming we need a place to squat it out C: Eat someone to assert dominance?- Yep, yumm! - Nope, yuck!D: grab our designated cuddle-human and make him pick the caltrops?- Yeah, he cute - No, we can do better
>>6425306If we leave, will we take the cuddle human? Assuming his vote wins too.
>>6425306A: >SIGH, yeah we are smart... We obviously understand we got attacked because we are an oni since we have at least [2] INTB:>YES, fall is coming we need a place to squat it outC:Nope, yuck!8=D:>Yeah, he cute
>>6425306A>-SIGH, yeah we are smart... We obviously understand we got attacked because we are an oni since we have at least [2] INTBUT>aren't onis cuttest when they are almost retarded??? and people don't like hurting cute things... we can just pretend to have 1 int!B>- YES, fall is coming we need a place to squat it outC- Nope, yuck!D- Yeah, he cute
>>6425306A:>-NO! I changed my mind! we are dumb 1 INT oni... Arent onis cuttest when they are almost retarded???B:>- NO, lets just LEAVE the biggots and GO. C:>- Nope, yuck!D:>- Yeah, he cute
>>6425306>SIGH, yeah we are smart... We obviously understand we got attacked because we are an oni since we have at least [2] INTDoesn't mean we can't exist in a state of stubborn denial.>YES, fall is coming we need a place to squat it out>NopeNot "yuck" though. The Magistrate just humiliated himself so thoroughly that it doesn't seem necessary anymore. He needs to be our personal chef for a bit, though. Call it reparations.>Yeah, he cute Feet hurty, cute human handy. It's just the rationale choice!
>>6425306A: Are you smart or are you dumb?-NO! I changed my mind! we are dumb 1 INT oni... Arent onis cuttest when they are almost retarded???B: Declare yourself the new magistrate and demand monthly tribute from the villagers?- YES, fall is coming we need a place to squat it out C: Eat someone to assert dominance?NO but if someone dies, she can eat the corpse. This is in case she kills cuddle human by accident.D: grab our designated cuddle-human and make him pick the caltrops?- Yeah, he might be a good servant and he's good at cuddling (she's dumb so she doesn't figure his intentions)
>>6425322This is me on mobile, btw.
>>6425306>SIGH>NO>YEP>NO
>>6425306>SIGH>NO>Yep>Yeah
>>6425306>SIGH, yeah we are smart... We obviously understand we got attacked because we are an oni since we have at least [2] INT>YES, fall is coming we need a place to squat it out>Nope, yuck!>Yeah, he cuteFor now! This is not a binding relationship we can do better! But he's what we have right now.
>>6425306>SIGH, yeah we are smart... We obviously understand we got attacked because we are an oni since we have at least [2] INT>NO, lets just LEAVE the biggots and GO. >Nope, yuck!>Yeah, he cute
>>6425306-NO!- YES- Nope, yuck!- Yeah, he cuteBimboni option, please.
>>6425306>-SIGH, yeah we are smart... We obviously understand we got attacked because we are an oni since we have at least [2] INT>- YES, fall is coming we need a place to squat it out>- Nope, yuck!>- No, we can do better
personally I think that int actually goes up to 10 considering that strength is rolled up to a 10 and having 2/3 int doesn't mean that we actually are smart by normal standards but rather by oni standards or smthhowever it would also be funny to randomly find an oni einstein somewhere
>>6425435personally I think your int is 1
>>6425306>SIGH, yeah we are smart... We obviously understand we got attacked because we are an oni since we have at least [2] INT>NO, lets just LEAVE the faggots and GO.>Nope, yuck!>Yeah, he cute
>>6425306>SIGH, yeah we are smart... We obviously understand we got attacked because we are an oni since we have at least [2] INT>YES, fall is coming we need a place to squat it out>Nope, yuck!>Yeah, he cute
>>6425306A: Are you smart or are you dumb?>SIGH, yeah we are smart... We obviously understand we got attacked because we are an oni since we have at least [2] INTA fun compromise could be that we have a lowered INT stat when tired and sleep deprived. It IS early in the morning, so it's not super surprising that our first assumption was that the snoring was the problem.B: Declare yourself the new magistrate and demand monthly tribute from the villagers?>NO, lets just LEAVE the biggots and GO.C: Eat someone to assert dominance?>Nope, yuck!D: grab our designated cuddle-human and make him pick the caltrops?>No, we can do betterNo! Oni's are strong and can tend to their own wounds after a glorious battle.Although a goodbye hug or pat on the head wouldn't hurt.
>>6425306>SIGH, yeah we are smart... We obviously understand we got attacked because we are an oni since we have at least [2] INTMaybe we should never have started to dive into the shrine maidens memories, but here we are now wearing clothes and it is what it is. > YES, fall is coming we need a place to squat it outOur first step to better human-oni relations>NopeMake it clear that we will eat someone if tribute isn't paid or they betray us again>Yeah, he cute
>>6425306>-SIGH, yeah we are smart... We obviously understand we got attacked because we are an oni since we have at least [2] INT>- YES, fall is coming we need a place to squat it out >- Nope, yuck!>- Yeah, he cute
>>6425306A: yesB: yesC: YesD: Yes
The real qm has been given a short BANN for posting lewd images on /sfw/ boards. so expect less updates for a day or two. I am uploading them in his place. >>6425435You have 3 STR, which means you roll a best of 3 for STR.
The samurai's begging and pleading does little to trick you into believing him. You are smart enough to know the circumstances of the human's attacks. However, you choose to forgive the people and spare them a glutinous wrath. Instead you simply declare yourself the NEW magistrate and owner of this village. The villagers will bring you much food and tribute so that you will not go hungry during the winter. You must keep an eye on the humans however, since you chose not to punish their actions they may be emboldened to strike again... "S-stay the winter?? O-OH OF COURSE MIGHTY ONI!!!! WE WILL WORK TO REPAY YOU FOR OUR TRANSGRESSION! WE ARE YOURS TO COMMAND!!!!" The samurai's repeated bowing begins to create a creator on the ground around his forehead. If his skill with a blade matched his skill in groveling, you would have surely met your match in battle!
And thus begins your reign over this small village. You draw both awe and fear from the humans. A special place of honour was reserved for those that seemed more loyal then the others... Now that you are the top dog, how will the humans work to please you? >What do you want? Feel free to pick MORE then one or demand ALL. - The humans will construct you an opulent manor, from which you will rule over them - The humans will forge for you a mighty weapon that can only be wielded by an oni! - The humans will construct you a ship from which you may sail the river in comfort - The humans will weave for you a wonderful robe befitting of your station in society. - The humans will write a grand play In order to show the world your greatness - The humans need not do a thing, for there is nothing I want. - Write in
>>6425855>- The humans need not do a thing, for there is nothing I want. A giant bowl of food in one arm and your human boy servant in the other is all an oni needs to be happy.
>>6425855>- The humans will weave for you a wonderful robe befitting of your station in society.It needs to be BIGand FLUFFYand have... RUFFLES!
>>6425855>The humans need not do a thing, for there is nothing I want. Too much luxury can be bad
>>6425861>RUFFLES!
>>6425855>- The humans will forge for you a mighty weapon that can only be wielded by an oni!- The humans will weave for you a wonderful robe befitting of your station in society.Give them something to do
>>6425855-Write In>The Humans will build defenses to better protect your new domain! Watchtowers, pointy fences, that sort of thing.
>>6425855- The humans will weave for you a wonderful robe befitting of your station in society.- You also request your favored human bend over to pick up various things that you placed on the floor so you can look at his ass.
>>6425898You know anon there's no need to be shy or obtuse about it. If oni-chan decides she wants snu-snu she can get it and no one in the village could stop her...not that I think he'd say no.
>>6425902Hmmm, idk how other anons feel, but personally I'd prefer if the quest doesn't go too far into the smut direction. At least not so abruptly. A little bit of lewdness is cutesy, but if snu-snu is done then it should only be after a fair bit of effort and build up.
>>6425903I wasn't suggesting it as an actual vote. I'm plenty satisfied with just some cute teasing for the moment. I'm just saying there is nothing actually stopping her if she wanted to do so...she doesn't really have to play around it like she's trying to hide.
>>6425902I mean, part of the fun of flirting is sending hints, anon.
>>6425905Honestly it feels like it's the human who'd need to send hints.
>>6425855>The humans will weave for you a wonderful robe befitting of your station in society.>You also request your favored human bend over to pick up various things that you placed on the floor so you can look at his ass.Living. The. Dream.
>>6425855>The humans will weave for you a wonderful robe befitting of your station in society.We've had one boobie hanging out for far too long.
>>6425854>The humans will forge for you a mighty weapon that can only be wielded by an oni!Because how would be be able to conquer the skies, sea and earth without a fitting weapon?>The humans will weave for you a wonderful robe befitting of your station in society.As much as I enjoy our comically undersized and ruined shrine maiden robe, I still feel having one boob flail around whenever we do anything physically intensive will negatively impact us in the future.
>>6425945As a caretaker, I can't emphasize how bad it is for the patient to be walking around with those tig ol' bitties untethered.
>>6425949Well, your patients aren't giant superhuman oni women.Unless they are, in which case I would like for you to give me your workplace so I can immediately go there.
>>6425855>The humans will weave for you a wonderful robe befitting of your station in society.
>>6425855- The humans will weave for you a wonderful robe befitting of your station in society.
>>6425855>- The humans will forge for you a mighty weapon that can only be wielded by an oni!>- The humans will weave for you a wonderful robe befitting of your station in society.
A week or so passes and the village is forced to adapt to their new oni overlord. An unexpected dinner and sleeping guest makes nightly visits to whomevers home she pleases. You are finaly starting to be shown the respect that you are owed. However, being a magistrate is not all sunshine and chicken dinners. While strolling through your village you happen upon two men arguing, forcing you to intervene. One man, a hunter, argues that he is having trouble finding animals to hunt. He insists that the other man, a fisherman, needs to bring in a larger quantity of fish in order to feed the village. However, the fisherman disagrees. He claims that it would be unwise to anger the river spirit. He suggests the hunter should hunt further afield if need be. The hunter refuses, stating that going further would infringe on the hunting grounds of other villages! After this the argument becomes circular.>What do?-the hunter should go further afield, human problems are easier to deal with -the fisherman should cast a wider net, the River Spirit is your good friend after all-bonk their heads together, no arguing in the village square-write in
>>6426303>Bonk heads together. Stupid humans. >Just ask the River spirit yourself what he thinks! Best solution is most straightforward!
>>6426306The TRUE 2 INT option
>>6426308(This means support btw)
>>6426306+1, Just be gentle with the bonk, humans are weak.
>>6426306This. Maybe be gentle on the head bonking. Humans are weak.
>>6426303Do everything -bonk their heads together--the hunter should go further afield, human problems are easier to deal with-the fisherman should cast a wider net, the River Spirit is your good friend after all- bonk their heads again - "Where's my cuddly human?"
>>6426306+bonk
>>6426306+1>>6426303
>>6426303the hunter should go further afield, human problems are easier to deal withHe's the one falling short of game, it's not fair to expect the fisherman to make up for the hunter's shortcomings.
I must protest this obsession with the "cuddle-human" can we please not instantly fold to first girl syndrome?
>>6426371I think it's first boy in this case, but yeah, starting to regret writing in to tease him about the blush.
>>6426371He's a lad with good taste. I must vote for him to achieve his dreams of giant muscular women just as I hope the fourth dimensional players of the quest of life do for me.
>>6426371No
>>6426303>>6426306 +1
>>6426306Support but they swuishies so only make face touch each other.Also cuddle human be nice not do hurty stuff against us
>>6426303>>6426306+1 to thisI found the designated cuddle human a fun and natural thing to work with so far - with complete disregard as to whether he will stab us in our sleep, have or develop positive feelings or whatever. He just stood out positively so it felt right to interact with him. I assume, come spring we will leave the village anyway to dominate the rest of the world as we should. >>6426370Although we DO know why he can't find much game anymore. We don't know yet how long it will take for the yokai to return, but if the humans want to stay here they will need bigger nets and more hunting grounds or good trade goods and relations.
>>6426306>+1
>>6426303>-write in>Investigate lack of game animals.If there are less animals then there used to be, something might be intruding in to YOUR domain to hunt them.
>>6426498She literally killed the earth spirit some updates ago making the animals leave. She's the culprit.
>>6426306+1
>>6426303+1 >>6426306>>6426371More cuddle-human you say?
>>6426755Based
Stupid dumb humans, fighting over trivial problems that are easy to solve. You give the two of them a very public bonking and declare to all that you will solve this problem as the villages magistrate-queen. The river spirit is a close personal friends after all, how hard can it be...
"Thats not my problem"Well what about the hungry humans? What are they going to do when the food runs out in the winter? "... I don't care about humans"Well what DOES he care about? "Nothing, I don't care about ANYTHING" huh, you don't recall the river spirit being so rebellious and angsty. Well, perhaps you can offer him something. "Ok, what do you have?"Well, what does he want?"I don't know, what do you have"This may be harder then you expected>What do?- Nothing to do but the old tried and true, wrestle him into submission- Sacrifice a young attractive maiden to the river in exchange for fish- Just lie and tell everyone the river spirit said it was ok- Attempt to outwit the river spirit in a game of mental checkers - Write in
>>6426755Arigato gozaimasu Anonymous-chan!
>>6426763>write in>Make the humans make the river fish care by having them cry in his river until he gives a damn
>>6426763>Write in"If you don't care about anything, why don't you exorcize yourself, uh? Why did you asked the shrine maiden to defeat the demon? Why did you reject my booze offer, uh, UH?BTFO that nihilistic fish with facts and logic as only an Oni with 3 INT could.
>>6426775+1 and if he doesn't accept his defeat we bonk him on the head.
>>6426783He's used to violence, he will give up if she forces him to become her cuddle-fish once all humans are dead.
>>6426775This and if it doesn't work just wrestle him into submission like last time. Trying to be a wiseass we'll show that stupid fish...
>>6426775+1, and tell him the humans WILL be fishing more under our supervision, because it's what WE care about. Simple as. If he damages our property, he'll get what boar-boy got, but worse.>>6426763
>>6426763>- Nothing to do but the old tried and true, wrestle him into submissionCan we [Spoiler]force[/Spoiler] train fish fren so he gets stronker and spawn more fish?>>6426764Kochira koso :)
>>6426763- Write in> Ask the river spirit if there's anyone he doesn't like who we can beat up for him. He clearly didn't like it when we almost threw the barrel of booze into the river, so there's got to be people on his hate list.
You begin unravelling the river spirits teen drama and pushing it back in his face. "If you don't care, why act so unfair? Your logic is bad, and you are getting so mad!" The river spirit doesn't like getting pushed back on his nihilistic viewpoint. He doubles down and says the humans now can't have any fish at all! >What do?- Apologies and walk it back- Fisticuffs time- Double down on blowing him out mentally- Write in
>>6426857> Write inTell him that if all the humans die, he's going to be her new cuddle-creature. Then give him a demonstration. He can overcome pain but being tortured with pleasure is new even for seasoned veterans. I read that in the Wheel of Time.Cuddle something, holy shit.
>>6426857>write in>Fake cry about the humans dying to make the fish feel bad
>>6426857>- Write in- Double down on blowing him out mentally"Oh yeah? Well if you don't care, then why are you getting mad?"
>>6426857>Fisticuffs time
>>6426763>Double down on blowing him out mentally>>6426883this
>>6426862+1, except instead of cuddling, wrestle him painfully and imply that is merely the force of our cuddles. Tell him we have cuddled every human, and only those who survived yet live. If he doesn't want to contend with THAT, he must submit to the fishermen.
>>6426857>Fisticuffs timeWelp, if he's so nihilistic then we'll just have to BEAT him until he start starts to care about somethin (probably just his life).
>>6426857>Fisticuffs timePut the screws to him. We're in charge around here!
>>6426857>>6426862+1If the humans starve to death then fish boi will have to wrestle us all the time. Plus we'll be the one eating the fish from the river, which has gotta be a worse outcome for the river. Helping out the humans means he dosen't have to deal with us all the time.Does this count as blowing him out mentally?>>6426762picrel
>>6426857- Fisticuffs time
If the river spirit wants the hard way then the hard way he is going to get. You flex your muscles and let the spirit know that he is about to get the roughest cuddling of his LIFE. You have been practising quite a bit lately. You gave this spirit many licks back in the day, but somehow he seems a bit uh, "bigger" then last time. Big enough to crush your Highest roll all the way to zero. >STR check, Roll 3 1d10s!
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>6426970
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>6426970
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>6426970HRRRRRAAAAAAAHH
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>6426970>>64269711d10 anon
We've got thisss... Cmere you oversized koi!
>>6427001Noogie time!
>>6426970Damn he bulked up. Crushes highest roll too, that's an autowin against 1 STR.
>>6426971>>6426972>>6426973>>64269777, 77, 7 and an 8 to tank the 0. Many excellento seven.
>>6427252Feeling lucky
"And so, the blue oni that came down from the mountains did battle with the great Kami that lived in the river. For a day and a half, the sacred water clapped with the sound of thunder. The great Kami roiled and crashed, oh what a battle did he give her! Yet the blue oni held firm, until his will was asunder!"
You aggressively cuddled the river spirit until he eventually ran out of energy. When he was finally spent, the big baby started crying and apologizing! "Everyone is depending on me! it's too much pressure! I never asked to spontaneously exist!"Falling under the spell of your cuddles, he lets his feelings out. >what do?- reconciliation- suplex
>>6427269>reconciliationNone of his did bro. At least you were cool about it, unlike that one dick ass boar spirit who needed to be put in his place the hard way.
>>6427269>- reconciliation
>>6427269>reconciliationSupplexing sounds funny but man do i feel bad
Just caught up with this quest a few hours ago, it's so comfy and the art is peaceful, amazing stuff here qm.>>6427269>- reconciliationRiver bro learned his lesson, say no to (too much) bulli!
>>6427269>reconciliationBro why not just say noYou can tell people to fuck off
>>6427269>reconciliationOni is just the same, she was born not so long ago but her life is so complicated already
You reconcile with the river spirit. life is tough, but he can always talk to you if he needs a shoulder to cry on! After all, what are friends for. Of course, the river spirit agrees to help out and allow the humans to hunt more fish. The humans are thankful for your intervention and are in owe of your POWER! They finally bequeath to you the new clothing you requested! its a snug fit! But is it "you''?>what do?- You love it! Its so you!- Tell them to try again, but this time not to embarrass themselves- Its ok but maybe something more... sexier? to show off your [?] CHA!- Its ok but maybe something more... fightier? to show off your [3] STR!-write in
>>6427300>Its ok but maybe something more... sexier? to show off your [?] CHA!Yeah
With thunder and shit a battle that lasted more than a day, that was AN EPIC BATTLE ALRIGHT, nicey dicey.>>6427300> You love it! Its so you!They even added cuddle-human pockets.
>>6427300>You love it! Its so you!Uuooooh those hip and shoulder slits.
>>6427300>- You love it! Its so you!Stylish and practical
>>6427300very well... but OP please next time we fight something rip half of the top off so the tit is exposed again
>>6427300Finally after 10 irl days of questing, we no longer have our cooch and tit out for everyone to ogle at us (granted there WAS noone to ogle until relatively recently).>You love it! Its so you!Now we just need a sick weapon we can bonk stronger spirits with, and we're set.
>>6427300>- You love it! Its so you!
>>6427300- You love it! Its so you!
>>6427300>You love it! Its so you!
>>6427300>You love it! Its so you!Looks cute, comfy and practical. Now we need a second set of this, so we can wash it.
>>6427300Actually this does raise an interesting question: What is our CHA? And how can we find that out?
A few months pass and autumn brings with a it a new colour. After your success with the river spirit, the villagers have become much more amicable. Especially since you have chosen to be so amicable yourself. They are constantly coming to you to resolve their problems and bless their babies. You have started to enter into a new mindset, where you rely more on the shrine maidens memories then your own lived experience. You are enjoying a nice walk through the woods when you recall its time to return to the village and perform your duties. Sigh! You are feeling a bit like the river spirit. >What do?- Keep on walking and don't go back- Return to the village and perform your magistrate duties- Play hooky and run off to see a certain human
>>6427592- Return to the village and perform your magistrate duties>But drag the certain human along
>>6427592>Play hooky and run off to see a certain humanWe deserve some well-earned rest.
>>6427592>Return to the village and perform your duties>Declare that you will be going on an adventure, have the villagers build you a boat (for two)>Leave with a certain human
>>6427592>Play hooky and run off to see a certain humanAt last
>>6427592>Adventure calls her, return to the village, give the necessary farewells and go back to being a shithead with a hearth of gold... most of the time.
>>6427592>Keep on walking and don't go backWe yearn for a life of adventure.
>>6427592>Return to the village and perform your magistrate dutiesBut only until spring! We still need to finish our quest for domination over all land and seas before we can think of permanently settling down! Should probably find a replacement magistrate guy for the village, too.
>>6427592>- Play hooky and run off to see a certain humanAll work and no play makes [NAME REDACTED] a dull oni.
>>6427592>- Return to the village and perform your magistrate duties
>>6427592>- Return to the village and perform your magistrate dutiesWorld domination. We need a second in command to handle some of this boring stuff
>>6427592- Return to the village and perform your magistrate dutiesWe should stay the winter, then leave. Perhaps we can train a certain someone as our replacement so we can continue our plans of world domination while leaving the boring stuff to someone else?
>>6427592>Keep on walking and don't go back
>>6427592>Return to the village and perform your magistrate duties
People really want us to go back to our boring job and do nothing fun huh
>>6427998Excuse you, I want us to leave in comfort and with good memories instead of just dipping
>>6428001And your good memories are...working as a bureaucrat? You're not even voting for the "good memory making" option...
>>6427592>Play hooky and run off to see a certain human
>>6428019No, I mean the people having good memories of us moreso than us having good memories of this place.
>>6428022I think we've given them plenty of nice memories and deserve to make some of our own.
She's had a boob hanging out for weeks. If that's not good memories for the villagers, I don't know what it is.
>>6428029>for the villagersDo it for her!
>>6427592I dunno, but i would rather have any option picked but 2. I'm afraid Oni snaps.Can my vote go to the one with more votes? 1 or 3.
... Add in the carry over from form 16A. Then to outline 2B... Yep, this can't stand as it is much longer or you will go insane in the membrane. You planned to stay until spring, but there is no way things can continue like this for the next six months. After all, you are only four or six months old! That's still young! Obviously, you need to promote a rube from the general population to delegate all the tedious work to. But where would you find such a person? >What do?- Elect a counsel of elders, they have the most time on their hands after all - Send a statement against the patriarchy by electing a women to be your right hand. - Find that samurai magistrate who you usurped and get him to do it- Pick the cutest human and make him leader- Hold a contest, who ever can win the most mini games will be made leader- write in
>>6428095>- write inFind the biggest NERD in the village and give him the job. Nerds are good at boring work.
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>6428095>- Elect a counsel of elders, they have the most time on their hands after all- Hold a contest, who ever can win the most mini games will be made leaderEeenie, meenie, miny, mo...
>>6428096This. We clearly need a nerd.
>>6428095Pick the cutest girls, hold a contest, whoever can win the most mini games will be made leader. The rest of the constants and some elderly women will be the counselors.The leader must have one tit hanging out during summer and when it's not cold as homage to Oni.
>>6428095>>6428096+1every good leader needs someone to handle administrative taskswe'll keep blessing babies and doing diplomacy (and receiving tributes).
>>6428096+Nerd
>>6428095>Find that samurai magistrate who you usurped and get him to do itHe has experience with it.
>>6428095Well... Crap.> Elect a counsel of elders, they have the most time on their hands after allGiven how fragile these humies are, it probably means that old ones have to be intelligent in order to not die.
>>6428095>Pick the nerdiest humanJust whoever kind of looks and seems like a huge dork who would be good at lame nerd stuff. Bully the lamest human into being the boss.
>>6428095I have an excellent plan: find the smartest person and then kill them over an oni plant, then in the future there will be a smart oni we can recruit/enslave
>>6428095>Find that samurai magistrate who you usurped and get him to do it
>>6428095>- Hold a contest, who ever can win the most mini games will be made leadernerd contest
>>6428186But we need someone to do our work for us now.
>>6428095>Elect a counsel of elders, they have the most time on their hands after all
>>6428096>Support
>>6428096>Supporting
Damn, Looks like QM got snatched by a hot oni girl.
Luckily, or unluckily, depending on your point of view, the biggest nerd in the village and the samurai are the same person! Other then you, he is the only one who can actually read and write. He doesn't seem to pleased to see you. "And why would I be? You have been nothing but a pain in my ass from the moment we met! I lost my position! My wife has moved in with her mother! No one in the vilalg respects me any more! Come winters end, my lord will surely demand I commit seppuku!"he seems to have grown a spine since last you met, you recall him being much more submissive and pathetic. "I threw down my honour to protect the village! I never met an Oni but I understood you to be an extremely violent and dangerous lot! But I see now that was for nothing, you are as gentle as a kitten and quite reasonable!"It seems your general benevolence has made the humans much more cocky. They no longer fear you. Because of this the samurai refuses to help you... "If you want my help, then you need to help me first!">What do?- Fuck that, you will just train your OWN entourage to read and write- Ok, you will help him what does he need?- Attempt to scare him into it- write in
>>6428585sorry, I was in and out of the house all day
>>6428605> Ok, you will help him what does he need?The least we can do is hear him out. And it'll certainly beat teaching random illiterate villagers to govern themselves.
>>6428605>Come winters end, my lord will surely demand I commit seppuku!Come winters end, Oni will be lord!>- Attempt to scare him into it
>>6428605>Ok, you will help him what does he need?
