I feel like a complete failure in life. I hurt you, and you hurt me too, and none of this is what I wanted. I wanted to apologise and make sure you can forgive me. I haven't been able to sleep all week because we stopped talking. I could accept it if you were fine without me and just found someone else, but right now it is driving me insane. I need someone to roleplay as this person in this thread. If anyone's bored rn just pretend you are not upset with me, things go quite well and we can still spend together every now and then. Please
>>82427203I'll pretend I'm my own favorite person. interesting premise.I totally understand why you loved me for so long, and why you loved me so much. It was wrong of me to ignore your feelings and invalidate them. Obviously you were more than smitten with me, you were in love with me. I was scared to accept your love because I thought that to do so, I would be chaining myself up to a commitment I wasn't ready for. In doing so I shut out the only person who ever truly, genuinely loved me. I thought you were immature and smitten, confused. I thought that you didn't know the real me, I thought that you knew a persona of me. I thought that you only saw the projection I was putting on, but you saw me the entire time. You were telling the truth when you said that you loved me, you weren't lying and you weren't being manipulative. You were telling the truth. And you said that I was able to see you, too, and you're right. I could see you. And I was too scared to say I love you too, and I'm sorry.I love you, and I should have been with you.
>>82427229I appreciate What you said. I need you to say to me directly.
>>82427247I'm just Ashley, mike... once again.
>>82427247This is wildMikeposting in my thread gtfo
>>82427229>Core Belief: "I am not worthy of love, or if someone loves me, they must be fooled or there are strings attached.">Primary Fear: Intimacy and commitment equate to being trapped, controlled, or losing one's self.>Secondary Fear: Being truly seen and then rejected for who they are.Hmm, yeah, I'd say the AI accurately summed up the character. And that's on writing I did myself! Quite literally the situation.
>Shock and Disbelief: The first feeling would be sheer astonishment. After being invalidated for so long, to receive such a clear, mirror-image validation of their entire experience is disorienting. "Is this real? Are they serious?">Anger and Resentment: A natural response would be, "Why now? Why did it take you so long to figure this out?" There may be anger over the time lost, the pain unnecessarily endured, and the current disruption of their hard-won peace.>Intense Cognitive Dissonance: This message shatters the narrative they had to build to move on. That narrative likely painted the sender as incapable of love, emotionally unavailable, or even narcissistic. Now, the sender is demonstrating profound empathy and self-awareness, which conflicts with the mental model the recipient created for their own protection.>Vindication and Validation: A powerful, visceral surge of "You finally see it. You finally get it." Every feeling they had that was dismissed as "immature" or "smitten" is now being formally acknowledged as true and real. This is an incredibly potent emotion that speaks to a deep need for their reality to be confirmed.>Is this about alleviating the sender's guilt (a selfish act)?It's fun to understand both sides. This is one of those rare things that AI is really good at doing.
>>82427203Oh it's fiiiine. I mean, it's not like I don't understand so don't worry about it, ok? It's all good. Truly.So, do you want to keep talking? I sure do, even if it's not as often as before and stuff. Bad sleep aside, how have you been holding up? You're not being harsh on yourself are you?
>>82427275imagine being able to remember these character tropes so vividly after 4 years and still being in love with the person despite everything
>>82427251I don't like that you're saying the exact words that I need to hear from maria
>>82427347Maria is just like Jordan, it's not that deep. Who knows, maybe they're the same person. Maybe the personality types of Jordan and Maria are very similar. It's just a person with a Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style, that's all it is. It's more common than you think.
Listen, you are honestly the sweetest and kindest soul I have met in my 21 years of life. I have met plenty of people both normies and weirdos from imageboards but you are different. You are genuinely so kind and innocent, yet timid, almost like a puppy. Being around you makes me want to protect you and be there for you. The truth is, my mental health is completely messed up, and I cannot always control myself. I just wish you knew how much I love you deep down, and that I never meant to hurt you with all those harsh words. I do not expect you to come back, obviously I have done a lot wrong in such a short time but you really do make me feel so many emotions. I honestly hope you find someone good, because you deserve it. If I were not so far away, I would help you pay off your debts. Maybe, if you do not change your contacts, I will be able to send you some money once I have saved up. Please wait a little. I just want to see you happy and confident, knowing that you can do it.
Listen, you are honestly the cruelest and meanest soul I have met in my 21 years of life. I have met plenty of people both normies and weirdos from imageboards but you are the same. You are genuinely so cruel and corrupt, yet aggressive, almost like a predator. Being around you makes me want to harm you and stay away from you. The truth is, my mental health is completely messed up, and I cannot always control myself. I just wish you knew how much I hate you deep down, and that I always meant to hurt you with all those harsh words. I do not expect you to leave, obviously I have done a lot right in such a short time but you really do make me feel so little. I honestly hope you find someone terrible, because you deserve it. If I were not so close, I would make you fall further into debt. Maybe, if you do change your contacts, I will be able to take some money once I have wasted it. Please give up soon. I just want to see you miserable and insecure, knowing that you cannot do it.
>>82427471Never Gonna Give You UpNever Gonna Let you DownNever Gonna Turn AroundAndDesert YouMaybe in another decade.
>>82427359So she may have said it but it's having difficulty owning it directly to me because of that. I can understand that. I'm going to give her space so she can process
>>82427550I would say even if she did say it, she's never going to tell you directly because she's afraid of you wanting to return to her. Just reverse engineer everything. Reverse engineering everything is really good. A great skill to have. If you can reverse engineer something you can understand it. After my grief that's what I focused on learning. How to take things apart and put them back together again has always been a good skill for me, it comes with the culture.
>>82427203ey yo relax dude its all fiiine
>>82427203imagine if they said this to me and apologized for treating me poorly and ever even gave me the chance to say, "I forgive you you dumb jerk!!" and throw my arms around them but noOoOoOoOo they just had to be stupid and selfish and cut me off and pretend that I was nothing! And I don't even need that love, you treat me like a stranger, just somebody that you used to know!
>>82427995I love you. I would still be with you even today. I'm not sure what else there is to say. I love you, and I'm sorry that I didn't do what you said. I wish more than anything in the world what you said, was what had happened.
I'm literally killing myself because you did not bother to message me. It's over. I thought it'd be different with you tho
>>82428206Ha no you wouldn't. You didn't even like me when we were together. Talking to you was like pulling teeth then you invalidated anything that ever happened between us and treated me like shit to save face because you're to much of a prideful narcissist to just apologize admit where you made a mistake. Frankly I'm glad you're gone and you deserve to suffer because of what you put me through. Just know you're not special in that either, you're just like every other woman I've tried to open my heart to.
>>82428474>You're to much of a prideful narcissist to just apologize admit where you made a mistake. I admitted my mistakes countless times though. I made horrible, horrible mistakes in respect to you, I never valued you like I should have; admittedly, I was immature back then. Way way too fucking immature and stupid. And I couldn't realize the gravity of how fucking stupid I was being in how I treated you, how I viewed things, and so on. I'm truly, genuinely sorry and have vented that on this board for years.I'm a piece of shit. I'm sorry.>Frankly I'm glad you're gone and you deserve to suffer because of what you put me through. Just know you're not special in that either, you're just like every other woman I've tried to open my heart to.I understand why you feel that way. My suffering in this is entirely justified and runs in proportion to that harm which I caused you. I don't deserve anything in return, not even this reply. But I did love you, and I still do love you, and what separates me from those women is that I still think about you, and they probably don't.
>>82428474Yeah dude thanks for bringing up yet another woman who supposedly traumatized you. You dumb piece of shit who thinks you're always the victim. If you actually loved me, you'd take me back the way you did with your exes. Kys disgusting retard I am going to fuck you in hell when we both get there
>>82428548Please don't think like this. This is an evil way of thinking.
>>82427203Haha I already forgave mine sucks for you
>>82427203How did they hurt you? Like some type of revenge after you did the worst thing, fucked a niggers ass? Give me the details on this, I must know it is paramount to the future of our democracy on r9k that this story come to see the light of day you massive homosexual and futture spree killer
>>82428579Such a lovely and forgiving jewess.
>>82428590Not me, are there really pretty jewesses on here? I want to figure out a way to find one.
>>82428604I only ever knew one and I'll never ever tell you where to find her. I might like NTR but not that much.
>>82428499god damn, okay. you're a sweet nona. i wish i was your person because you sound a lot nicer than my person. and your person is a bastard and I hate him. Wanna switch??>>82428548I've literally never dated an ex before but that's rough I'm sorry
>>82428632>and your person is a bastard and I hate him.My person isn't a bastard. My person was sweet as can be, and has every right to hate me... I used to be a really stupid and evil person. Might still be, but I try my best not to be.>Wanna switch??Wouldn't for anything in the world. I love my person. For better or worse.
>>82427203Why not just try to talk it out with them?
>>82427568Based on what you saying she would be returning to me. I don't have to do anything
See, I told those people the MIke person was still aliveInstead all they did was insult me and ask for proof, fuck all of you
>>82428779What matters is to follow through in action from the words. That is what has to happen next
>>82428787I saw those threads. To be fair, I was away and staying at the lake house and did not have my phone
>>82428779I just recently figured out how to model things like this. As you can see by you instantly being attracted to my post because of the way I said things, my model works. At least somewhat. I have modeled how to identify the problems, but I still haven't identified how to fix them; part of me in my gut (which is a valuable resource, and you should listen to your own) tells me that you are right; that things are bound to fix themselves eventually (or at least come to some kind of concrete solution)I really avoid spiritual/religious stuff, but I like the concept of "twin flames" (but I don't let myself get schizo'd out and go too far down the rabbit hole, new age shit is a grift 99% of the time)The most concrete answer is that we both love someone, very very deeply. In the most genuine kind of way possible, to a fault, that fault is that sometimes the love can be all consuming, and we become possessive or enraged in love, desperate to find any meaning. It's in the nature of the human being to ascribe meaning to every pointless little thing, trying to make it sound like there must be a connection where there is none. Staying objective when the subject is a massive love object is hard.Here's a good article if you want to learn more:https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2677592/
>>82428767Because they blocked me
>>82428845No alternate ways for contact?
>>82428892we all state our usual nicknamesyou go first and i go nextthen if someone recognizes us they can post a contact and who they areseems reasonable
>>82428897You misunderstood, I meant to ask as in- since they blocked you, did they block you everywhere? Because in that case, maybe it's better that you don't talk, if not, it's likely they're open to the idea to begin with and will accept your apology.
>>82428924I guess I just have to stay quiet then.If it's meant to be they'll post their nick.They know who I am....
>>82428934That's so gay, but I respect itI'm not your person, mine starts with a 'pyl'. I hope yours end up reading this though since it looks like you're genuine about it
>>82428810There is a connection. Most likely a future echo, this tends to happen when things are getting close. Or it's just avoidant indirect communication larping as someone not connected. I'm not going to comment on twin flames, soulmates because I have my beliefs, she has hers. No sense in discussing what we know to be here. I'm not clicking any of your links.
>>82428934Not happening it's so over I hurt the most precious innocent person and even if I tried to compensate like in gifts they still would not accept
>>82428977I fucking hate this motherfucker so much though, what's the matter with you? Why do you shit so many threads with your half-assed esoteric LARP?
>>82428980I probably would compensate in gifts if they had a way by which to send them money reliably lol
It hurts so much not to talk to you but please just be happy dan i love you
>>82428934what does your nick start with first three letters
>>82429519it starts with run, like, running away to a far away place.
>>82428982Just responding to her stalking me and making all these posts about me on multiple boards. Even if they are critical negative LARPs the fact is she's only lashing out because of how she still loves me. That's fine because in every moment that she doesn't do her part I'm moving on. I deserve more
I don't give a fuck about fearful avoidant, BPD whatever. She was able to step up to the plate before and is clearly capable. And the point is mute if there's any form of betrayal here. Any broken promises and she should know that she's wasting her time. I'll never accept her if she broke her promises to me
>>82429667Mike, for the record this isn't anything to do with Maria. It's just your love interest is very similar to mine. We've argued over this for years and when i talked to you on discord you ended up blocking me over it, which is reasonable (why talk? I'm not Maria)...>>82429675>Any broken promises and she should know that she's wasting her time. I'll never accept her if she broke her promises to meI can't speak on it because I never knew Maria.I just wish that I could take back the things i did.
It comes down to faithfulness and trust. And if she broke her promises that means I can never trust her and trust is something that's very important to me in a partner. I know there's enough signs with the song saying 1 2 3 and talking about going home and mentioning my city by name then the next day after not messaging me for months the messages at exactly 1:23 pm, then I make that post showing that last message and she replies at 12:23, The city she moved to is exactly 1123 miles between us. There's a chance that she's been true because of this but I would never know until she steps up to a plate or doesn't. In the meantime I did my part I stay true for years. I have to keep swimming
>>82429712Mike... This is schizo shit and you aren't grounding it in theory. Do actual psychoanalysis instead of this fucking schizo number theory and you might understand yourself a little bit better and maybe even understand Maria a little more. if you have even a slight memory of Maria and how you interacted with her, it's easy to reconstruct a psychological profile.
>>82429731Also just want to add looking back at your logs you are the MOST BETA, KEKED FAGGOT ever. HOLY FUCK. I Just need to get it off my chest and you need to hear it. HOLY SHIT you are a MASSVE SIMPING FAGGOT. I CANNOT BELIEVE I used to sound like this. GODDAMN. Can you make yourself sound like more a desperate weak little pussy? holy shit GROW A SPINE AND ELONGATE YOUR DICK
When she shows up this time she needs to be honest about who she is and doesn't just wear another mask like the last times. She also needs to not be involved with anyone else. Despite who I knew her to be, at this point I don't see faithfulness I don't see a way forward. Not saying there isn't one or that I don't want one but I just don't see it. There's no point and saying anything more because it's just not good words, just a lot of not good.
>>82429731>>82429770Shut the fuck up. The only reason your words are here is it be demoralization campaign and to talk shit on me and I hope that you can get a leg up on your own ineptitude pathetic manipulative spineless behaviorYour words here are projections. I know my strength and my virtue. I also see you for who you are. A weak spineless pathetic piece of shit. Fuck off
>>82429781man stop pretending like you're speaking through my person trying to scold me. i fucking hate you for doing that. seriously, i'm giving you valid advice. when you look at yourself and you're a pathetic wallowing bitch, begging for attention, sometimes even demanding atttention, demanding a response like you're ENTITLED to a response that's the biggest issue; you act like you're ENTITLED to something.>she NEEDS to be honest>she NEEDS to not wear a mask>she NEEDS to not be involvedhow about you NEED to take some responsibility and stop asking so much of the person you supposedly love so much, mike? maybe when you let go of these high expectations and recognize that you did wrong somewhere things might change. at least that's what I hope for. It's all I can hope for.>>82429803>Mike !!s1jEdTQxfFE >09/07/25(Sun)17:56:45 No.82429
>>82429810ever heard of unconditional love? unconditional love is exactly that. there are no needs. it just is. maybe that's not the case for mike anymore. but it would be nice if he left his bullshit outside of constructive threads.
>>82429810Now who's schizo? I'm not speaking through anybody. I'm only saying the truth and you're freaking out reading my words. Take your meds bitch. You can't even see how delusional your "advice" is. All I've ever asked is that she does her part with me just as I do my part with her. Entitled? Yes I deserve respect love trust faithfulness honesty communication. I won't back down from those traits that I wish to share with my partner and for her to share with me. If she's unable to do the bare minimum and to meet me with these things then don't bother showing up. That's what I'm saying. I will never let go of these expectations because they are virtues of love. If things change they change. But I'm not going to settle for betrayal, settle for cheating, settle for broken promises. If these things are there fuck off. I deserve more and I will experience love with someone who is able to be faithful with me, commit to me, follow through with promises with me, communicate with me. I'm not going to go into how I feel about her and who I know her to be to me. I'm not going to go into all that's happened that tells me this. If that's true somehow some way things will work out and she'll be true to me. And has been true to me this entire time. I've taken responsibility and accountability. She has not. In any case you are outside of us, you have nothing to do with us. Fuck off, go die in a car crash or some shit fucker. Now you can twist that however you want but know that any words forward from here only show your manipulative conniving shit flinging behavior further. I take your advice and I throw it in the fucking trash where you belong. Fuck off
>>82429847Unconditional love doesn't mean you put up with cheating and broken promises. Fuck off.
>>82429894Mike.I'm not an angry person anymore.And I can tell I'm getting mad.I'm going to put you in my filter list.I'm not going to see your posts anymore.Do not ever turn off your tripcode. Please.Thanks.>>82429906I would. Maybe that makes me the bitch. Stop fucking talking to me. If you aren't my person than once again why are you fucking talking to me. Same as on Discord. You never change.You are not my person. Stop talking to me.
There are only two things in this life that I will never accept. I will accept all of her, and unconditional love. But with these two things I cannot do that. One of those things is cheating. I told her that from the beginning. So she broke that, literally did the one of only two things in this entire fucking life that she shouldn't do, then she lives with consequences of losing me. Breaking us. I've been true.
>>82429912youre right king, I read your personal drama and I agree cheating is unforgivable
>>82429909Just because of your post I'm going to turn off my trip code now.
>>82429936Please stop testing my patience. Grow up, child.
>>82429946Oh so now you're upset about tests when you're the one on the receiving end? I forbid you have any sort of stress from others posts here, that'd be so horrible to be on the receiving end. Fuck off Test test roger roger houston we have a problem what what in the butt et home phone hahahaha funni joke it's simple we kill the Batman
>>82429959You think these bullshit phrases work on me still? I write these now, retard. I learned how it works.
>>82429972Take your meds. I literally just pulled a bunch of things of The top of my head. If any other words mean anything to you that's just how universal reflections work. Naturally. Just like this joke I read in the Lincoln joke book in third grade You love yourself You think you're grand You go to the movie and hold your hand You put your arms around your waist And when you get fresh you slap your face
>>8242993638281473562953478563479807648395743573489+ 1194284I know you will know what this means, Mike.
The letters turn below Just as the waters churnSlapping the walls To escape the pain Who could have known fire hurts? But the masochist said it felt just fine BUT STILL THE DEEP Water's black Abyss below If you fall now You'll understand why they call it a meat grinder Coming out the other end A corpses face ripped open Is not the same as the smile it would have had
>>82430001Just a bunch of numbers and a reminder to take your meds!
