>>82456282
I genuinely believed everyone was equal and were good people most of my life. Whenever people would clearly have malicious intentions or avoid accountability or use me I would honestly be confused as to what was going on because the thought of them being horrible never crossed my mind. I would just think wait this doesn't make sense I must have missed something and internalize it for days if not weeks and actively try to right a wrong that was never my fault in the first place.

This occurred often with my mother and in relationships. Turns out they were simply avoiding admitting they were wrong.

I was literally cheated on and spent years trying to understand their mindset and logic to the point where I became paranoid and delusional. Once I realized she's just a stupid fucking women and they're all whores and would rather die than take any accountability it all clicked. No matter how hard I try to be enough to make my mom or a girlfriend happy it will never be enough. They're selfish delusional succubi constantly taking never giving unless they get something in return and usually the better end of the deal.

She left me the second she found someone slightly better at something. I've been in about 4-5 serious relationships and looking back I realized the majority of my life's problems and mental fuckery can all be traced back to letting a woman in my life. I was happiest alone. I found most of my confusion stemmed from things they said that didn't make sense like saying it's not their fault they cheated. Like cunt you literally fucked him yes it is.

I'm not perfect there's better options I understand that. That doesn't mean whores can milk my sanity and happiness til they find something better. I am not my mom's escape goat or punching bag.

Once you accept they're emotional basket cases and whatnot things make sense. I stopped putting up with their bullshit games and so much stress disappeared.

>>82456378
Sounds like you had rough mommy issues. Not even trying to fuck with you either that does fuck people up. My mom is great but honestly is too coddling I can realize that objectively but just take advantage of it so I can NEET. It's bad for me and bad she allows it but what sucks the most is me realizing the reality of the situation but not doing anything about it. I kinda wish sometimes I was a literal retard that can't function without 24/7 support so I'd have a reasonable excuse. Anyway I never had any serious realtionship with a women so I can't relate with being cheated on but I'd probably want kill then person that did it to me not saying that's ok or you should or that I would but it would probably be how I would feel. Women are aliens to me or maybe at best a pet like a cat. I love them but I can never relate.

>>82456499
Cats are significantly better than women. Yea I probably do. But I can't do anything about it. I've tried therapy multiple times it's just people lying to you for money and nicely telling you to get fucked. Neeting is the best I have a job it sucks. Hard work doesn't get you shit and even if it did working 40 hours for such little free time in return is a shit deal. I'd keep neeting if I were you. Don't ever date my mind was permanently altered after my last relationship. I lost all my motivation and it hasn't come back since. I've given up on my dreams and used to be so organized now my life is in shambles. Knowing the blackpill vs experiencing it is drastically different.

Fingers crossed my ex gets in a car crash or some shit but I'm never interacting with her personally ever again.

>>82456555
>Yea I probably do.
Probably have mommy issues just to clarify from my reply

They've made it clear to me my entire life that they don't like me or care about me. Which is fine because I don't like or care about them either. I try to avoid dealing with them as much as possible. As far as romantic relationships with them I have never even tried in the slightest to have one with any of them. I have never approached, asked out, or signed up for a dating app. Because I know how they are and I want nothing to do with them. I'm not going to hate them or whine online about them because that accomplishes nothing.

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>>82456282
I grew up thinking women were perfect angels and victims. Then I realized they all hate and want me dead for being a low value male. I still crave their approval more than anything

Parent's thought i was a faggot because i didn't have a gf while i was teen
Finally got a gf when i was 16 which stopped that
I kinda wished they steered me towards goos grades instead of teen pussy

>>82456574
>try to avoid dealing with them as much as possible
This is what I do with my mom and why I don't date or fuck anymore.
>>82456587
Your craving for approval stems from you wanting your mom's "love" but love isn't real. It's just the confirmation of your survival as long as she loved you, you were safe and supplied things like food and shelter. Once you realize your mom is just another woman probably with daddy issues everything becomes clear. That's not meant as an insult I just mean you have to humanize the people you've been around so long you've become oblivious to the fact that they aren't special in the grander "scheme" of life

>>82456615
>you have to humanize the people you've been around so long you've become oblivious to the fact that they aren't special in the grander "scheme" of life
Op nta but fuck that kinda hit me a little. It's a bit of a blackpill but I'd rather not focus on all the blackpills. I want to die already enough.

>>82456615
>Your craving for approval stems from you wanting your mom's "love" but love isn't real
Long as she doesn't kick me out idrc what she thinks of me

>you've become oblivious to the fact that they aren't special in the grander "scheme" of life
Everyone thinks women are special. My value as a man is decided by whether I can put my p in v

>>82456282
I've never understood women, still love 'em tho
I've met a few who were decent folks, have yet to find a total nutjob though at first glance they may seem like it

I used to hang out with this 15yo girl (chill, let me tell the whole story)
She grew up in an abusive household, started taking sips of her dad's leftover beer and alcohol at 12, started smoking crystal at 13

She used to crash at my house occasionally, hid from her family and all that
She told me I was the only man in her life who had ever treated her kindly, without contempt, and she saw me as a father figure
Wonder where she is now tbf

>>82456678
Until you accept things as they are you can't make progress. You'll just be walking into the same wall.

My mom has daddy issues and that just amplified the woman problem even more. Honestly I don't blame him for leaving considering how insufferable and stubborn she is and her mom is just as bad.

I perceive that stubbornness as me doing something wrong and constantly shifted my mindset and demanded I be the best at things I do. Pressure makes a diamond bullshit. Turns out that just makes a human collapse and crumble after so long. My mom genuinely believes she can't do wrong. She'll lose her mind, use me as her emotional punching bag and shout and nag and bitch and when she spots any facial expression of annoyance she uses it to justify her actions.

So I moved. She completely shifted her demeanor on she realized I can just cut her off like that. I literally didn't show up for the holidays multiple times. We have constructive conversations now and actually make progress but 90% of that stems from me minimizing my interactions to one time a year basically.

People are horrible scum and cannot change. Even if they do try to change they're spending energy actively trying to avoid their nature 24/7 and will slip up eventually and the world devours people when they do

>>82456282
>be me
>get no hoes in middle and high school
>don't hate women, just didn't know how to flirt and approach them
>a few showed a bit of interest
>never made a move
>graduate
>still no women
>still don't make a move
>fuck prostitutes
>still don't hate em
>still don't know how to make a move or approach them
>had unprotected sex a few times
>it was great a handful of times
>was alright the rest of the times
>still have girl problems like i'm in the 10th grade
>don't understand women
I'm not sure if it is all in my head but after I had unprotected sex I don't want to view women as just a potential sexual outlet. Like so what? they have a vagina. As people women can suck, so can men, but the rose tinted glasses might've come off

>felt unable to relate to most women in middle/high school
>never showed interest due to viewing self as socially inept
> was fairly athletic but ultimately fairly nerdy. small friend circle
>thought things would happen if i went about life normally
>thought i'd run into a girl through work, university, friends (at the time), etc
>thought I'd drift into a relationship naturally where a girl would notice or things would just click
>neverhappened.jpg
>never approached by a girl or even considered by a girl for a relationship
>had a few awkward instances where a girl showed interest at a party (they wanted a hook-up) which i awkwardly avoided to avoid embarrassing myself
didn't want a hook-up as my first experience. I wanted to date a girl first and only do something with someone i actually knew
>no girl ever considered me in terms of a relationship
>watched everyone of my friends get married and start families
>i had yet to hold a woman's hand
>hit me hard when it was the most awkward people i knew
>began to isolate
>slowly lost all friends out of a sense of shame and avoidance over 10 years.
>get harassed at weddings about never having a date
>get in shape, etc - nothing makes any difference
>never try dating - assumed the lack of any interest by any woman implied i had no value
>self-confidence collapsed, undermining all aspects of life
>get a new job - work with a coworker in a control room for years
>develop crush on her - likely due to being the only social contact i had in years
>she never thought of me as anything more than a friend
>still like her - never wanted to force things
>have to listen to her talk to another coworker. that coworker complains how there are no "good men" out there while the one girl has dated 50+ men in the past 1-2 years
the one i liked didn't do this but was friends with the other
>grow increasingly jaded
>accept it will never happen
>realize i don't want to give those that ignored me my entire life a chance now
>likely will off self

>>82456282
Once I fully accepted 2D > 3D I could finally let go. Now I don't think about 3D women at all, with the exception of 3D animated vidya women. The "fake" is so much more real.

>>82456282
>Girls are icky
>I'm in love with Sasha and Esra
>Hung around with the other poor kid, Judith. I abandoned her in the last year.
>Got a playground GF named Joanna, whom I never kissed.
>Went to a boys school. Bad mistake. They brought girls in a year later, but no-one mixed outside their year.
>Out of school, while staying at my dad's at weekends, was set up with Lindsey, but want constantly chaperoned by her group.
>At a unit with troubled kids, got heavily flirted with by Jolene, but she friend-zoned me anyway. Her mother loved me.
>Went to college and never got laid. Too many foreigners. Got another 'GF' I never kissed. Was stared at by a college classmate, Luisa, she did nothing.
>Basically incel for the past 20 years. Only fucked escorts. A few women stared at me, but they had company, and would never actually speak to me.
>Got Black Pilled and grew to despise women, as they have been totally corrupted and ruined by fuck apps. They became Chad-only. Inceldom spreading.
>Get likes and matches on the fuck apps, but they barely speak to me. The few who ever claimed to be DTF all ghosted me. Even over 50s.
>Now 'prison gay' enough in my inceldom to be willing to be serviced by feminine fags and troons. FML. Still can't get anyone convenient.

>>82457363
>thought things would happen if i went about life normally
>thought i'd run into a girl through work, university, friends (at the time), etc
>thought I'd drift into a relationship naturally where a girl would notice or things would just click
>neverhappened.jpg
>never approached by a girl or even considered by a girl for a relationship
>had a few awkward instances where a girl showed interest at a party (they wanted a hook-up) which i awkwardly avoided to avoid embarrassing myself
didn't want a hook-up as my first experience. I wanted to date a girl first and only do something with someone i actually knew
>no girl ever considered me in terms of a relationship
>watched everyone of my friends get married and start families
>i had yet to hold a woman's hand
>hit me hard when it was the most awkward people i knew
>began to isolate
>slowly lost all friends out of a sense of shame and avoidance over 10 years.
Literally me. I just gave up on it. I never really was that keen on the woman and love part, but I did want to have a family to give back some experiences I had with my gramps to my own kids. But that's not happening. I was born and live for no reason.

>>82456282
I never really cared for women
If I found one attractive I'd just acknowledge it that I find her hot
But I never felt the desire to approach and to try and date a woman I found attractive
I never had a craving for a relationship, my attraction has always been and still is purely physical
Witnessing women revealing their true selves in the past few years, the way they've been acting on the internet and in real life hasn't made me hate them cause it still doesn't affect me in any way, but it made me pity guys who are slaves to pussy

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>>82456282
>in early middle school I thought the were annoying and stuck up (but still fapped to them)
>late middle school I start liking them and simping
>in high school I still liked them but kept my distance it just felt impossible to communicate with them
>I dropped out of college during uni times so I basically haven't had any contact for the last 6ish years, I'm formally blackpill but still really love them atp
Female sexuality is absolutely evil but also beautiful desu

>>82456378
Sounds like a textbook case of narcissistic abuse. Female narcissists especially women and mothers can absolutely wreck a young man's psyche. Glad to hear you figured things out and found some measure of peace.

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Always been of the opinion that men and women are simply different creatures. We have trouble understanding them and they have trouble understanding us because we are quite literally wired differently. On a physiological level we have different wants and needs but we're both human. Recently I have come to think a lot of the resentment stems from the sexes inherently understanding the role the other plays both in a biological and metaphysical sense, and it becomes a misdirected despair over the state of the common person... or at least what we see as the common person in a terminally online world that is constantly trying to shock its audience for engagement.

The "blackpill" mostly comes from being shown the bad parts of the world without the good. In reality things are much more neutral I think. Could just be that I'm naively trying to hold onto what good is left in the world, I guess. I've had people tell me I should resent women more considering how bad my divorce was