i'm so tired of the charade of living. I'm completely disillusioned with everything. I try really hard to be optimistic and see the bright side of life, have my own hobbies etc. And I can use them to escape reality for a little while. But at the end of the day I'm no better off. I'm almost 32 so I can't delude myself that one day any of this will get better. Everything is just slowly but surely getting worse. I'm becoming more a jaded asshole.