[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vm / vmg / vr / vrpg / vst / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / pw / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / vt / wsg / wsr / x / xs] [Settings] [Search] [Mobile] [Home]
Board
▼ Settings Mobile Home
/r9k/ - ROBOT9001
Return Catalog Bottom Refresh
Thread archived.
You cannot reply anymore.
[Advertise on 4chan]
[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom]
V. Ainsworth Archived
I went to the doctor, guys. Do(...) 09/11/25(Thu)05:37:48 No.82468469
I went to the doctor, guys. Don't worry Im fine V. Ainsworth 09/11/25(Thu)05:37:48 No.82468469 Archived
>Be me
>Usually very healthy, peak male physique (BMI 15)
>suddenly start coughing like grandad did before he turned gay
>Decide to see a doctor
>Havent gone in years, anxious as fuck
>She tells me to go get my blood drawn, piss taken and an x-ray
Mission_accepted.jpeg
>Go to a random clinic next morning
>Very groggy
>Wait my turn for 40 minutes
>Finally go in
>Angry nurse yells at me asking where my urine container is
>I say
-lady. I am the urine container-
-I have come to make a deposit-
>She tells me to fuck off to the apothecary and come back with one
>Main quest paused
>As I walk there, I try to think of how to ask for a urine cup
>Piss cup sounds too casual
>Urine container sounds too professional
>Settle on piss jar
>ok
>Enter apothecary
>Everyone is staring at me
>I definitely look like a crackhead
>Go up to the counter, giggling nervously
>-One piss jar...- I giggle out.
>Feels wrong, so to appear normal so to appear normal I add -..And a pack of condoms-
>The clerk looks at me in disgust, but what can I do
>Seal the deal and go back to the clinic
>Nurse looks at the giant piss jar that I brought
>-It will do.- she sighs
>>
V. Ainsworth
09/11/25(Thu)05:40:11 No.82468487
V. Ainsworth 09/11/25(Thu)05:40:11 No.82468487
>She gives me a cup to fill, says to transfer it into jar
>Fill the cup instantly
>Prostate never been better, thats for sure
>start transfering the golden nectar, but hands are shaking
>Spill some piss into the sink
>Maybe I shouldve done this above the toilet.exe
>Refill the small cup like im pouring draught beer at oktoberfest
>Go back to the doctor
>Pass her the jar of filtered monster energy
>She whips out a needle
oh_fck.jpeg
>Im a strong, brave man...
>until a needle comes out
>Or im at the dentist
>Or theres a dog
>nearly pass out, but hold strong
>Doctor checks results and frowns
>Says im dehydrated and my cholesterol levels are... concerning
heart.exe has stopped
>Assume I have 3 days to live
>Spend rest of the day masturbating to my anime waifu
>Smoke entire pack of marlboros to relax
>Google symptoms
>Apparently I also have, AIDS, childhood obesity, pregnancy and hemorrhoids
>oh god
>text doctor at 2 am
>She replies
-Just drink more water, retard-
[Return] [Catalog] [Top]
Post a Reply
Return Catalog Top Refresh
[Advertise on 4chan]
Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.