he hid them in my room about 12 years ago when I was 7 years old, and he was recording me (obviously a girl) for years and uploading me to places online and making money that wayalso I'm telling you guys since you probably like that, and also this counts as an AMA because I'm boredwe only found out last week because somebody (who chose to stay anonymous, go fuck yourself) recognized me
you should probably rob and kill him.
>>82570466>>also I'm telling you guys since you probably like that,Why does every retard come here assuming /r9k/ is a majority women haters, child fuckers or voyuerists/degenerates in general?Do you really have that much of a chip on your shoulder against depressed losers?
>>82570466wtf are you going to do now that sounds horrible
>>82570491no I meant the voyeur part, not you hating womenpeople think that?>>82570492not much, it's eh
have you ever gotten off to it? even if it's horrid/invasive, you aren't an exhibitionist, whatever.
>>82570497not going to police or anything? what about your mother does she care?
>>82570502I was thinking about it while masturbating like 2 nights ago, if that counts>>82570505my mother wants to divorce him, he's been arrested too so she'll do that when he gets out, if that's how that works
>82570466>>we only found out last week because somebody (who chose to stay anonymous, go fuck yourself) recognized medo you know how they recognized you? that's kind of weird, were you informed by the police?
Confirmed it wasn't for security reasons?My step dad also put a camera on my room and all over the house bc it could be needed for evidence in case of a breaking in for the insurance. I didn't put much thought into them till I was 17ish so he might have seen me masturbate hundred of times and having my first time too.
>>82570523yeah we were informed, they raided the place, checked it, informed me, let me watch the videos (are they even allowed to do that? I was looking at 13 year old me diddling it) and did everything, gave me some sources for mental health and all that
>>82570497>>no I meant the voyeur part, not you hating womenwell I can't recall a time I ever looked at voyeur porn (I'm not brown and taking videos of women in the bathroom), nor have I ever looked at child porn, I can't even recall a time when voyuer shit was even a thread on this god forsaken bord but I don't pay much attention to it because I'm not a porn addict either, whatever
>who chose to stay anonymous,Idk how to feel about that On one hand that guy is a paedophile on the other hand he went out of his way to tell you about it
why are stepdads so universally evil
>>82570537he was literally selling videos of me changing when I was 10 years old>>82570547tell me? no they told the cops, and they stayed anonymous so they wouldn't get in trouble
>>82570539>yeah we were informed, they raided the placeyou referring to your step father's place? do you know if they found more?terrible nona
>>82570556i legit saw a bodycam of a redneck dad doing it to his adopted daughter like 1 year ago today, crazy world, i hope u r okay
Tiny little OP changing into her little bunny pajamas and then later on touching her cunny...
How bad is the dissociation? Do you even feel real? Are you in therapy? The mental break caused by this must be fucking wild.
>>82570564OUR place, we lived together, my mother married him a long time ago>>82570567that's diabolical>>82570613I don't think it's fully hit me yet, but so far I've already moved into the spare bedroom and I'm gonna be living in the spare bedroom now until I move out
>tfw voyeur>have come across these types of spycam videos>conscience kicks in afterwardsfug.
have you ever watched The Truman Show?
>>82570466so someone who visits the deepweb for kiddy pics recognized you and than alerted the authorities, so are they looking out for you or weird or both
>>82570650yep, movies awesome>>82570660it was probably both
>>82570466That's very fucked up I'm sorry anony
would you forgive me if I fapped to your videos or do you hate me for it
>>82570662were you bummed your dad wasnt giving you a cut of the profits
surveillance/paranoia shit really bothers me. even just the fact we're on cameras outside all the time.that said, i don't know if the sexual side of things would. even if i was a child. someone got their rocks off, so what?
>>82570466Creepy. They say it's like a 50x rate of sexual assault when having a non biological man live around your child or something like that.
>>82570673no, I didn't care>>82570669they're already out and about, from me changing at 7 to masturbating from like 9-18+
Maybe I am a normie you people are disgusting
Wel, it could have been worse you know, like you could have gotten raped, and not the fantasy kind of rape with serotonin and dopamine release by the victim, the one with trauma...I wonder how you stay anonymous to report that. Law say it illegal the production, distribution, possession and any conspiring against the former. Id guess like a server buffer video? No possessio and no distribution so hands clean(figuratively)
>>82570714seems like most anons find this grim, touch of morbid curiosity, couple of perverts.this isn't 'disgusting', it's actually pretty fuckin good for /r9k/ standards.
>>82570715>I wonder how you stay anonymous to report thatask your friend in Sweden to call in an anonymous tip.
>>82570720Thinking OP is just making this shit up
>>82570715if there's a silver lining it's that she COULD get evidence of the CP.innocent-until-proven-guilty (as it should be) but i know a couple of women who have tried to report men to the police 10+ years later, when they're adults. don't know what they expect, police don't drop everything because zomg historic child abuse, they just say 'we can't do anything now' (which is true).
>>82570466I am sorry this hapoened to you.. Is there any help you would need? How old are you now? I just wish you can have a happy life..
>>82570739i'll happily play along. spy cam videos do exist. a 19-year-old could be posting about it on /r9k/.but realistically, yeah, probably creative fiction. this shit is like the sex equivalent of creepypasta.post proof, OP.
>>82570744He's literally incarcerated and most likely going to get a long ass sentence>>82570755him going to jail helps a lot I think, so he's being punished, and videos of me online aren't the worst either, it's not like there's going to be any new ones either
>>82570762what fucking proof do you want?do you WANT me to post a naked video of me at 12 years old? not only getting my future nuked, and the site nuked too (that probably wouldn't happen)
>>82570676>non biological manWhat the fuck does that even mean? Are they robots? Silicon based?
>>82570789>tfw the clockwork man rapes you again
>>82570766this at least he is in jail. Stay strong! I hope he wont ever gets released and suffers in a cell alone with his thoughts
>>82570777Three sevens now you need to post batman and robin yaoi porn.
>>82570777u said the were vids form range 9 to 18+, send proof and keep it legal unless you wanna spend time with daddy on a cell haha
>>82570777of course not, don't be ridiculous. that would violate the rule in the sticky.i mean do you HAVE the videos (why?)post a screencap of the empty room or blur your face or something. or a censored police report/message.
>>82570705did you shlick to weird stuff, are you into hentai doujins, if so what are your favorite genres/tags or are you one of those fanfiction normies
So how do you feel about it, not like at the surface level. Not betrayal or something like that. I mean, I can guess at a ton of stuff by empathizing and so on. What I can't guess is, what do you wish I could guess or knew?
>this counts as an AMA because I'm boredSo what did you want to tell me? What's important to you that isn't obvious at all?
>>82570819No I don't have the videos, but I've looked through all the one's he's uploaded (to tell them what age I thought I was) and a few that were in his "Steam Api" folder which was just his spankbank>>82570820nothing really too weird, but I'd play porn games sometimes, if I was watching porn you could also tell>>82570828could you reword your question a bit?
>>82570835>his "Steam Api" folder which was just his spankbankno wonder he got caught, should have been using Goldberg.
>>82570835did you have female detective with you, i hate to have cops look through that shit jeez, does the evidence get sealed and i assumed deleted once the court case is shut right
>>82570835>could you reword your question a bit?I did here:>>82570828>So how do you feel about it, not like at the surface level.>>82570834>So what did you want to tell me? What's important to you that isn't obvious at all?What matters to you? Are you still confused and shocked? Part of avoiding PTSD and cPTSD is being able to come to terms with the fact you're confused and accepting your feelings.
>>82570844actually he could have been caught about 5 years earlier if I actually checked what the fuck "steam API" was when I was on his computer>>82570851yeah it was a woman asking me, after about 30 minutes it wasn't embarrassing anymore, since it was clear she wasn't even watching the videosthe videos are going to stick around until the case is over>>82570856nothing particularly honestly, and yeah I'm still confused, I guess shocked but it doesn't feel like it
>>82570835do you remember your sexual awakening moment, most fembots i know said they just liked grinding on their pillow, would you call yourself a femcoomer, do you think your future husband will find out one day and than divorce you or something weird. do you think youll have to move across country or something to avoid weird stuff happening
>>82570864>I guess shocked but it doesn't feel like itProbably especially if it was something you discovered recently - in the last year or whatever. You could try a very risky experiment, probably best while you're with a counselor who you're comfortable with. If you "dig" at part that seems scary or sensitive, can you feel what is hiding there? Do you know what is there without knowing or is it bad enough that you've blocked how what is hiding?
>>82570868my sexual awakening, cody from total drama world tour (specifically)I think I was 8 or 9, and thinking about him would make me wet and make my clit harden, I had an orgasm a few months later
>>82570864i guess it could have been worse, like he could have tried to rape than kill you, so theres that, it seems like youre taking it well, i hope your mother isnt too distraught or will recover quickly too
>"Stteam Api" folderCOWARD
>>82570887i hope you find a nerdy Californian bf
>>82570888yeah I know, so that's good>>82570898what? can somebody elaborate on this
>>82570518thinking about like getting off to it, or just thought about how your shlicking sessions were being recorded, did you not feel weird about it to stop jerking off for a bit or are you just a femneet and horny all the time
That same man forwards content like this on every website I visit . Going to court soon
A good example of "shock" is like when you accidentally hurt yourself and it doesn't hurt immediately. It takes a while and if it was something bad enough it might take several minutes of being calm for the hormones to calm down and let you feel pain again. This is why it's super important for example after a car accident to be as calm as possible, assess if you're hurt or not and get somewhere safe. Someone after an accident doesn't want to be walking where they might trip, or trying to flip their car back over by hand.We're designed to get out of that harmful situation and do what we need to survive FIRST. Then we feel the emotional and physical pain associated with it later while we're healing.
>>82570925this image refers to an infamous guy who just made his folder name dontclick and CP....where you dad decided to try and hide his folder with a simple disguise name like steamAPI
>>82570925>what? can somebody elaborate on thisI think poster is making a joke about how your dad didn't put it in a folder named >PEDOBEARTHEMEPARK/AMUSEMENTCENTER/YOURNAMEKind of typical 4chan troll post like someone saying "ouch my face is all cut up by the glass" and then someone booting them in it.
>>82570835what kind of porn games do fembots play, ive always wondered, do you like gacha husbandos, did you play games on steam with your dad, how was your relationship with him
>>82570937well the only time since finding out was 2 nights ago, didn't before then and haven't since>>82570947I mean it was in the steam commonapps folder, I was trying to get my save off his pc, can't remember what game though
>>82570954my dad? or my step dad?other than the videos my step dad was perfectly fine, I did love himif you're talking about my REAL dad, he's dead
hey OP, wanna... you know...
>>82570958that is diabolical, so the police let you look through his pc after cuz you wanted to save some games and found more?
>>82570969dang, perfectly normal non creepy stepdads are always the weird pedos, my condensances on your realdad, im sure he wasnt a pedo
>>82570973Fry up some chips and nuggies in mayo and grind EXP all night?
>>82570975no this was when I was like 14, he didn't want me to use his pc anymore so I had to sneak and get the save offI later found out that it was in a folder called "steam api" and I was like "OH SHIT I REMEMBER THAT" because I was like "what the fuck is steam api?" because I didn't have that folder>>82570985thank you
>>82570997>because I was like "what the fuck is steam api?" because I didn't have that folderApi is the name of a monkey who climbs through and cleans out the steam pipes.https://youtu.be/sE8aVgOxjJU
>>82570997oh lol, well im glad your safe after all that, are you posting here to decompress, why do you come to r9k do you consider yourself a fembot
>>82571021never heard of it>>82571062I post here semi frequently, haven't since I found out thoughfembot? how would I qualify
>>82571083did you post in the biofem threads a year agoa fembot is usually a robot but femalerobots are usually the people who fall through the cracks of society, ususally have one or more of the following, depressed, socially isolated and awkward, very little or no friends, not doing good in work school or romatic relationships, usually just a depressed neet type, some normies have gotten a taste of this world because of covid but i think theyve gotten over their larp and going back to shopping malls and watching movies and wasting money at restaurents, so i guess they dont really care
>>82571100I think I did?also I don't really fit into any of those, I haven't had sex yet if that counts
>>82571116so youre a normie who likes to browse r9k for the past year or so
>>82570705>they're already out and about, from me changing at 7 to masturbating from like 9-18+thats over many years, you are probably considered a minor celebrity on the dark web
>>82571250It'd be so funny if she wasn't.Her dad selling overpriced videos and internet pedos saying her daughter is not pretty enough for those prices. Too uglt for pedos kekDamn I fell evil
>>82570466did your dad suddenly come into a lot of money, maybe he has a trust fund for you
>>82571337do pedos even take looks into account? I mean to me kids still look like genderless blobs
>>82570466How did they power that shit?
>>82570466>who chose to stay anonymous, go fuck yourselfThats how you thank the guy who help you ?Ungrateful cunt, kill yourself
>>82571352Depends upon age, by maybe ~14 or so you must pretty clearly see what they'll look like by 20+ and the only differences are body not facial for the most part. 8 is super weird though. In faceless images I wouldn't be surprised if I'd fail an A/B test with a 14 year old versus a 18 year old. It's only if you had points of reference of some sort. I don't think women grow a ton height-wise after 14 or so though unlike guys.I guess it must be pretty easy to tell the difference between an average ugly kid and someone who might be attractive later on. Yet there are a ton of cases of child-actors who grow up and have mostly dead careers too. In terms of pedo shit Emma Watson is famous there in the classic early 4chan "pedobear's favorites" lists. That shit always creeped me out pretty badly but to be honest she looked sort of average and nice as an adult.Better looking "model" and "actress" class are women like Natalie Portman. That's a great case of someone who was really good looking in youth and turned sort of odd looking in maturity again. That's only two cases though so not sure it always follows that pattern for teens.
>>82571524when I was 14 I looked closer to 10 than I did 18
>>82571724>when I was 14 I looked closer to 10 than I did 18maybe why your dad was able to make money, there was continued demand for you. Well if anything you can say you were a popular child porn star on the darknet
>>82570537>My step dad also put a camera on my room and all over the house bc it could be needed for evidence in case of a breaking in for the insurance.Literally not a thing.
>>82571799well he honestly didn't make too much, he did send videos out to approximately 5000 people though, which is terrifying
>>82571880>well he honestly didn't make too much, he did send videos out to approximately 5000 people though, which is terrifyingnot really, you'll just disappear into the billions of other nude videos. No one is gonna stop you on the street and say "I loved you in that darknet video"
>>82570466>uploading me to places online and making money that wayCringe desu. Those should be for personal use.>also I'm telling you guys since you probably like thatThank you, I do like that. Who is "we"? Your mom and you? How did she react? Did you confront him how did he react? How sweet are the videos? 12 years is a long motherfucking time.
>>82571891yeah but I've had thousands of people looking at8 year old me's pussy11 year old me humping a pillow for the first time14 year old me humping my desk15 year old me using a vibratorand countless changing videos and regular masturbation videos>>82571897we is my mother and Iwe didn't confront him since he was arrested, my mother was disgusted and felt really bad for me and I just was in shock I guesssweet?
>>82571914>11 year old me humping a pillow for the first timeThis is what I mean by sweet and by God they sound sweet
>>82571932well I don't know then, do you want to ask if I did anything else?
>>825719148 year old you had a penis, anon. Everyone replying in this thread is a legit retard, myself included.
>>82571914>yeah but I've had thousands of people looking at>8 year old me's pussy>11 year old me humping a pillow for the first time>14 year old me humping my desk>15 year old me using a vibrator>and countless changing videos and regular masturbation videosSo? it's not like you set up the cams
>>82570466Kinda hot ngl how's it feel knowing I'm about to crank my dirty sweaty hog to your story imagining you're my stepdaughter?
>>82571978If you don't mind, gladly. Did you ever use any tools/toys besides the vibe at 15? Did you feel any arousal watching your younger self? How would you have reacted if you found the cams yourself?
>>82570556If they're anonymous but knew enough to know who to warn doesn't that mean any male figure in your life could've been jerking off to the same material? Maybe busted a few loads to you and felt guilty eventually?
>>82572076not dedicated sex toys, I did pick up a dildo a few months back, haven't really used it>>82572083yeah I've thought about that
>>82572083yeah 5000 guys were paying to bust their load to her. Maybe a good confidence builder lol
>>82572065>stepdaughter instead of daughter>>82572123>not dedicated sex toysLike what? How did your first orgasm feel? Did you ever wet yourself while masturbating?
>>82572179well it was intense because I didn't know it was going to happen, I was rubbing the line on my crotch (no pubes yet) because my clitoris wasn't exactly developed, when it happened I made some squeaking noises, I was at my cousins house in the shower sitting downand no I have never wet myself
There are no girls on this site. Try again faggot.
>>82572199>There are no girls on this site.i see people posting this sometimes so I just assume they are unmedicated schizophrenic or something
>>82572199Checked and correct. So many holes in this story and not one of the high IQ pattern recognizers r9k is famous for has spotted any. Triple figure replies with no voca from tranny OP. This place is a shambles.
>>82570715Pretty sure the law has been changed to include viewing, it's just harder to prove that evidence wise. >yes that's my IP on those logs>but it wasn't meAs far as staying anonymous, it would be the same as any anonymous report. Spin up a proxy.>>82570969Would you have preferred if he didn't go to jail for this (and just like, idk, stopped after he was found out? In this hypothetical the past actions still happened)
>>82572256no fuck no, he absolutely deserved to go to jail
>>82572194Did you use your imagination, any media material to get off? Or did you just focus on the feelings of pleasure to get off? When did you learn you were masturbating and the big feel good feeling at the end was an orgasm?
>>82572261What if he only recorded you but never shared it and you happened to come across the hidden cams or the videos one day?
>>82572261Kind of weird to hear that honestly.>I did love himPeople normally want those they love to avoid certain troubles such as jail. Not saying your reaction isn't still normal, at the very least as a kneejerk.Your mother is now considering divorce and that will also impact financial situation; idk just a lot of factors to consider.
>>82572284well I was really only doing it idly, thinking about other stuff, I learned about a year or two later, but my clit was more developed so I was having really strong orgasms then>>82572306I still would have reported him
>>82570466how do you not notice cameras in your room for 12 years?
>>82572355they weren't big bulky cameras, they were hidden in the walls, "pinholes" or something, there was one under my desk so you could see me masturbate, above my bed, and also one that faced right in front of my wardrobe so you could see me get changed
>>82570491normies don't actually care about pedophilia, they used to beat their drums and screech "ANTISEMITE" at the people trying to expose Epstein, the same with the rape gang thing in bongland, calling them "racist"normies will love anyone who is socially well adjusted even if they are a pedophile or a serial killer or something, because emotionally and psychologically they are part of their tribe, morality has nothing to do with it, it is probably how OP's dad got away with it for so long and it is only now that he is a bit older and less energetic and lost his job or something that all the normies in OP's life are outraged and demand justicemeanwhile we, sitting here doing literally nothing except criticizing society and self-avowed "feminists" are the worst most horrible people in the world and people obsess over usnormies can be very intelligent, but why be intelligent with something like this? how does it benefit you to apply your intelligence to actually stopping child abuse or some important cause like that? it does not affect them, they are not a child and if their daughter gets molested by their chad husband it doesn't immediately affect themthis is the mind of the normy, they can't handle abstractions unless authority figures say "audit this company flawlessly by the deadline or you won't get your bonus" or whatever, they have no agency, it is difficult to understand, how can they be so smart yet be literal NPCs, but it is literally how they work, it is important for us as well as we try to turn our lives around, if you can break down a situation logically, come up with original ideas and make them work you will go far in business, you will become an owner instead of working for someone else, but that's another discussion
>>82572355Shhhh, don't break the bait
>>82570550So like 10000 or whatever years ago the "stepdad" would just murder the offspring of the woman's previous mate because they're a threat to him and his future offspring with her.Nowadays no one consciously thinks that but subconsciously that feeling of wrongness a man gets even thinking about being a stepdad is enough to make it so the only men that can fight that feeling are pedos.
>>82572449dunno how true that all is, my step dad was really good to me (not op)like we even had sex, still do sometimes, it was one of THOSE step dad step daughter relationships
>>82572536Fucking the stepdad breaks that mindset because you're not a threat but another conquest but enough of that, how and when did you two start having sex? Does your mom know?
>>82572380so for 12 years you never noticed there were holes in your walls and ceiling? Are you near sighted?
>>82572545it's a long story, I got hit by a car (wasn't that bad)but I had pretty bad nerve damage and would have pains in my legs, he worked from home so he'd give me massages daily, it took about 2 years before we started having sex
>>82572564How old were the two of you when it started? Who turned it from physical therapy massages into something sexual? Was it 2 years of innocent massages then sex or was there a buildup of boundaries being crossed firsr?
>>82572598I was 19, he was uh35? he was pretty young, that's when we started actually fucking, he never did raise me since I first met him when I was 13it was a VERY slow buildup, it started with me taking more off, but he would be massaging the same place every time (the side of my hip/thigh area)after a while it started with him tastefully asking lewd questions "do you think women have to shave?" = "do you shave?" or "how do you like to keep stress free?" = "do you masturbate?"after like a year we were talking about my sex life (not even hiding it) with my boyfriend, after he and I broke up I started stripping fully, and it quickly devolved into him jerking me off (slang for masturbation, has nothing to do with having a penis, I don't have a penis) and eating me out before outright sex
>>82570466This is gonna catch up to you later in life if you don't take it seriously.We have a way of pushing things like this down, convincing ourselves we're fine with it or we like it. But they never go away until dealt with.
>>82572629make a thread this is so hot
>>82572629Okay wow first of all crazy hot. Did he tell to take more off/you could take more off or did you decide to do it yourself? Would you say you always wanted to fuck him or did the massages and talks play a big role?>and it quickly devolved into him jerking me offCould you elaborate on how it went down? And you two still have sex now? If you're still having sex now, is it serious or are two just having fun?>jerking me off (slang for masturbation, has nothing to do with having a penis, I don't have a penis)KEK
>>82572331nta but how long did it take you on average to orgasm?
>>82572837I offered to take more offI always found him attractive, I was masturbating thinking about him at 13 too, but like never thought about ACTUALLY fucking himI took my thong off and he was prodding my bits, seeing how far he could go and see, I turned over and told him it was alright and he just startedit's not serious, just having fun now, still feel bad about my mother though, having him cheat on her with me
>>82570466single mothers are truly evil, everyone knows stepdads have insane rates of pedophilia and rape and yet they still put their children to danger just to get their pussy wet
>>82572331You just rubbed your lips before how did your masturbation change when your clit was developed enough?>>82572875I must say you are dream. He is a lucky man and you are a lucky girl. I do truly hate adulterers though.
>>82572989well once it actually popped out of the hood and I was rubbing it I came after about 5 minutes
>>82570466that's fucked, do you live in a country you could get him sent to prison for this?
>>82573017Off just pure rubbing, too? You didn't use porn yet right? Do you still remember your first clit orgasm?I imagine your stepdad would have made a pretty penny if he knew what he was doing with 12 years of prime solo material. Do you still have any feelings for him as a stepdad or are they all gone now?
>>82570491Yes we are like thatGo back to /pol/ retard
>>82570466Fake and gay as fuck troonie
>>82573055yeah absolutely>>82573089yep, I remember it, it was like lightning shocking, I was raising my hips and was actually moaning, it was longer toozero feelings now, I hate him
>>82573114>yeah absolutelygood, hopefully he gets shanked or raped in prison.
>>82573114Are you in the US? If so he's super fucked, CP laws are brutal in the US and he was selling which makes it so much worse. I wonder if he thinks it was worth it, probably not kekekek.How would you have felt if he was arrested for cp but never recorded you?>like lightning shocking, I was raising my hips and was actually moaning, it was longer tooThe female orgasm is an incredible thing. I imagine it's a bit difficult to masturbate now unfortunately, the mental baggage of being recorded for so long. Would you mind describing yourself a bit?
>>82573378not the US, AustraliaI still would have hated him either wayalso describing myself how, physically? or personality wise?
>hey guys I'm a girl>my step dad hid a camera in my room and filmed me :[>it was kind of hot btw>here are all the ways I used to masturbate >:D>AMA>(i'm a girl btw)
>>82573391Understandable. I assume your mom feels similar. Really? The anon who said she fucks her stepdad is also Australian, funny. Both.
>>82573519yeah I've been monitoring the thread she madeaustralia is big though you know, there's more than 200 people living here
>>82573559It's a big place but aren't most people concentrated along the coast in big cities? Americans are the primary demographic here so two of the same non American having perverted stepfathers gives me a pervert chuckle.I've never been there but I've heard it's similar in climate to Florida high heat high humidity so I'm sure it's a beautiful country.
>>82570466whoah, i'm really sorry that happened, that's awful. i never had it happen at home, but it did happen at my christian private school. someone put a wifi camera in the girl's bathroom, and it was a k-12 school, so it was really bad. they shut down the school for three months to investigate but i'm pretty sure they never went to the cops. i hope the experience doesnt mess you up too much, definitely make sure to try to get therapy if you can.
