>who would be
*who would IT be

Gomene

It would be YOUR husbando obviously

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I said no FUCKING politics, you fags.

All of you are my boyfriends BTW

>>82577278
I didn't consent to that.

You are all part of my boyfriend slave harem BTW

>>82577296
I opt out unless I'm specifically the hottest bf out of your roster.
I'll double check this by the way.

>>82577303
What if I don't have a single hottest boyfriend? What if my tastes change? What if I hold a hottest boyfriend competition every month that you have to compete in? (If you don't compete you die)

>>82577327
>(If you don't compete you die)
A death-beauty contest sounds like a lot of fun actually so I'd be down for it.
I won't ask what happened to the bf that scored last place.

>>82577225
Nigguh I said wait until it dies out. I'm killing you and your banned for making any new threads. Qott faggot
>Hurrr page 7
It's not even on page 10 retard

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Meow I'm love eating my meds

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>>82577234
easily Jiji from DanDaDan (atm)
literally 0 flaws, but this isn't about perfection: he's the sweetest goofball to ever bless anime, and it sure helps that he's very hot (chad), yet I can't bring myself to fap on his jacked body, only husbando him, because he's a total cinnamon roll. I close my eyes sometimes and think about him being near me smiling

I did go out for a chicken basket from DQ, and giving my cancer kitty pieces of it. She's starting to lose weight again and I don't know how long she has left.

>>82577505
:(
she will have fond memories with you anon

>>82577531

I know, but she was mom's cat really though she was always sweet to both of us. I think I'll try and get her back to the vet tomorrow, maybe they can adjust her meds or something and give her more time.

>>82577403
I love the stuff meow posts, it's too cute

>>82577575
You waste so much money on that cat's health but you don't do the same for your own health

my ideal bf doesn't know what 4chan is

>>82577575
how old is she, anon? is she a little kitten?

my ideal bf is in this thread probably.
I suck dick really well, or so I've heard so come out already!

>or so I heard
You are nobody's ideal bf.

>>82577593

I love the cat(s) though, myself not so much. and it's easier to take care of a cat than it is myself.

>>82577632


16ish (we got her as an adult so I don't know how old she is exactly) so she's had a good life but still.

>>82577670
you will never have a bf unless you creep on teenagers and get turned into a bitch by whichever proper man is your cellmate in prison.

>>82577678
>but still
I understand, I never had a pet but I did lose people, even old ones. It's never the right time. Cuddle her and treat her as long as you can

>>82577703

and the fact that mom and I rescued her. Her old owners turned her and another cat (who we also took but he's a lot younger) into a freezing ohio winter. Even though mom and I had 5 cats already we still took both of them in because what choice did we have?

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>In a shocking turn of events, bi top "Assad Mediocrecock" is SUING the Bottom Council, citing "top abuse" after being told that his "little guy [was] mid" by a bottom.
What do we think of this?

Tops are such fucking babies. They try to perceive themselves as more masculine when they're too girly to get over themselves and put some cock up their butt. ASSad deserved it. You toppots need to be humbled.

Where's my verse master race at? Do both and who cares about the details.

Why do you need to post these creepy threads?

This thread is seriously giving me the ick

Ick lists
>when he knows what r9gay is
>when he posts anime boys online to represent himself
>when he has no butthole

My leg is killing me tonight, and it's way too early to go to bed which is the only thing that helps it.

Another ick
>when his leg is killing him tonight and it's way too early to go to bed which is the only thing that helps it

I have no ick and I must edate

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>he doesn't look like an anime boy irl
ngmi

>grow hair out
>look like medieval monk
>cut hair short
>look like niko bellic if he was white
I hate being an ugly chudcel

>>82578508
medieval monks had the bowl cuts though, tonsure I think it was called.

>>82578524
It's hard to describe but when I have long hair I feel like I would look good in a burlap sack robe with a rosary tied around my waist

>>82578548
more likely a lot of medieval people had short hair for better lice control and it gets less dirty when you can't wash your hair like today.

>>82578558
It was a regional thing I'm pretty sure

Are you guys 9 or something? Being gay is a bad thing to be. Normal people use it as a slur.

>>82578508
As long as you're not bald I don't think you can go wrong with hair

>>82578878
normal people are literal cattle

>>82578878
>Are you guys 9 or something?
asks the teenager

ugh i got fucking sunburnt somehow

>>82579379
should have let me put the lotion on you like i asked

>>82578393
why would you post a boy that isn't even from an anime with that post?

hello guys i am new to the universe what is anal

>>82578878
you speak as if it was a choice

>>82577234
I'm 26 and have given up hope on getting a bf because I'm an autistic loser
Should I get an AI bf?
I just fear it will make me even more lonely

>>82580407
how much do you like the idea of dating an ugly loser

>>82580407
just e-date if thats the direction you're taking anyways.
AI chatbots have memory issues and long-term it sucks

someone give me an argonian build for morrowind [preset classes only]
also give me a general character personality to guide my actions in tandem with the build itself
[shallow things like factions i hate, racism, criminality, princes i favor or hate]

>>82577234
i dont know... probably towa from slow damage <3
#2 and #3 choices would be kaveh from gensh, and... probably konrad curze from 40k [i had no ideas for 3rd place lmfao]
we mentally ill with this one :3

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>>82581279
nightblade has solid damage, mobility, and utility. given that your guy is an argonian in morrowind, i think it would be really funny if he was a delusional lizard-person equivalent to a black nationalist. "we wuz nisswo n shieet."
anyway, curze is a crazy pick, but i can't lie, i see the vision

>>82581356
nihilistic power couple MMMMM
funny recommendation tho, will consider :p

My self esteem is extremely low, I keep crying over useless shit, I have been doing nothing but crying and feeling bad for 2 weeks, last week I ended up crying after someone got mad at me for performing poorly in a casual match and I haven't touch a videogame since then, I feel bad for my duo, he didn't hear me cry but I haven't talk to him since then.
I feel so worthless and useless I keep avoiding contact with anyone because I think I make their life worse, I don't want to feel this way, I want to feel better, I'm hurt.

Godamn it my arse hurts so much today :(, i should not havve squatted so much last night i did 1.2x body weight i dont know what i was thinking :( i neeed a massage :(

>>82582033
be honest, how would you react if an average looking guy told you to look him directly in the eyes and said that you are a good boy who is trying his best and that's all what matters, proceeding to give you a kiss on the cheek?

>>82582033
How old are you, anon? Poor thing. It's not your fault. You'll be alright, these things take time.

I masturbated so much my fingers got wrinkly from my own saliva

top wisdom tooth erupting
agony

>>82582426
ew, don't just spit on that thing, use a real lubricant

>>82582516
I've never used anything other than saliva and shouldn't I?

>>82582396
I would die, I would probably freeze in place, that's happened the very few times someone ever showed some affection towards me, it hurts a bit to fantasize about it, it's something I won't get to have unless I radically change the way I live, that would take an immense amount of effort, but I wish it could happen.
>>82582398
Thank you for your kind words anon
>How old are you
I'm old as fuck so I don't have any excuses, at my age I shouldn't be so sensitive and I should be doing way better but I'm not.
>It's not your fault
Who else's fault could it be?

You need to reduce porn and stop fapping.

>>82582697
Only if you start dealing with my sexual urges personally.

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>betrayed the man that loved him most
You wouldn't snitch on your bf, would you Anon?

>take a 3 minute nap 90 minutes before going to bed
>cant fall asleep for extra 4 hours

>>82578508
I always thought growing your hair out helped. I started getting compliments from women and bottoms after growing my hair (the longest locks go past my ribs)

Glad I'm not the only one with a fucked up sleep schedule, I think my body is adjusting to a "sleep once every 2 days" schedule unintentionally.

>>82582735
I'm ride or die, betrayal is worse than death.

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Meow sitting on da lecture kinda bored

Ahh, I just took such a comfy stomach-ache ending shit.
I feel bad for bottoms who can't experience this.

Ultra Despair Girls is kind of the perfect game

I was playing danganronpa before you fags were born, fuck off

You people lied to me..
You said that there were more bottoms then there are tops, this was a lie.
You said to install and use the apps and I could easily have sex, this was a lie.
You said that my height and penis size didn't matter and I could still get a bf, this was a lie.

I took your advice and the only thing that changed is instead of being rejected by a dozen bottoms directly I've now been rejected by several dozen bottoms indirectly without ever even seeing them

I am not chad and I will never be able to have sex

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Why would anyone want to have sex gross ewww limau

>>82583663
Come to the dark-side.

>>82583674
Sex with non chad = gross
Sex with chad = not gross
FTFY

>>82583707
Not true meow yay

>>82583701
I'm going to do what I normally do and stew in my anger and contempt for bottoms for a few days while letting out my anger on myself and everyone around me for making me feel miserable

>>82583730
I always do that, it's a bit of a problem

>>82580254
>anal
>often used in nontechnical contexts to describe someone as extremely or excessively neat, careful, or precise
for example:
>turing was really anal about his work, making sure every detail of the machine was perfect.

>>82582508
What does being a top have to do with wisdom teeth?

>>82583674
>limau
What does it mean?

>>82583775
Bottoms are stupid they have less wisdom

>>82583783
If only knew how wrong you really are.

>>82583781
laughing my ass off obmeowiously

>>82583565
I only saw a bit of it and would buy it for toko, but idk if it's my thing, komaru seems like a meh protagonist from what I've seen.

when that fent hit ooooh that feels so good

damn i haven't been on fent in a while oooh damn that hits the spot ahh but my heart hurts ooh damn bro my room smells like fent and shit

>>82583789
Bottoms are liars and manipulators they have no wisdom to share only lies and betrayal

I got fent before a colonoscopy once and I'd get ravaged by colon-cams all day if it meant I could be high on it whenever, it's fucking awesome.

r9gay crackhouse when

>>82583663
>You said that there were more bottoms then there are tops
This is true but they don't message you, you have to send them a message first
>You said to install and use the apps and I could easily have sex
This is also true, but you have to have some comunication skills and you gotta organize the meeting because bottoms usually don't like to arrange things
>You said that my height and penis size didn't matter and I could still get a bf
It doesn't matter too much but it does matter, first impressions are based on 3 stats, money, charisma and looks, height is part of the looks, you don't have the looks so you gotta work on other things like social skills and charisma, you can easily have sex as a ugly introverted nerd but you gotta work for it a bit, for you it looks impossible just because you have done this before but I am sure you can have sex within 2 weeks, if you are really ugly it may take you a month
>I could still get a bf
This is way different than just a hookup, you can get a bf but you need to get yourself out there, you need to talk more, you need to be a bit open and then you gotta wait for other people to find in you something they like, then if you like that person you will have to work to maintain the relationship, it is not hard but it is difficult, you have to work on it and if you don't do your part the relationship will break, the other guy has to do his part too, relationships can be hard to maintain.

>>82581356
Ultra Dark Black Lizard Nigger. playthrough begins
thank you oomfie

>straggot incel: "Uhmm akshually gays have it way easier than us!! It's impossibile to be gay and a virgin, you really have to try to"
>the gay dating experience: >>82583871

I hate when people assume im left wing because im gay. Im not going to get into politics after this post. Just venting.

>>82583871
according to this board there is a large amount of quantam bottoms that exist in the same way dark matter exists. i dont know why everyone here is so against the idea that there are more tops than bottoms it is pretty much a well known fact that tops outnumber bottoms in reality, tops are just much less common on the internet and gay communitys causing it to seem like the opposite.

>>82581279
>morroshit
>build
rofl

>>82584938
NTA but straights have it just as difficult if not possibly harder. Do you know how frail, emotional and fickle women are?

What are the signs to look for to see if your bottom is female brained or not?

>>82585718
Do they get mad at you if you do something in their dreams they dont like

>>82585225
it makes sense that more men would be dominant by nature. even amongst straight men the vast majority are dominant, though in that case it's hard to tell if most men are dominant by nature or because the vast majority of women demand it. no matter how much women talk about gender roles being stifling they overwhelmingly want their man to be traditionally masculine and confident/arrogant.

>>82580407
is it because you're autistic loser or is it because you're ugly?

is it too late to get a cute a femboy in my life?
I'm nearly 40

>>82585225
>tops outnumber bottoms in reality
People here do not live in reality, they live on the internet. Hence the distorted opinions

>>82586825
no it's true, bottoms really do outnumber tops
it's just that most bottoms have aged out of being fuckable to most tops
and that is the cold hard truth of the situation.
to all young, still cute bottoms ITT, find the right guy and get married before it happens to (you)

>>82586894
>bottoms really do outnumber tops
This is the reality.
>Tops outnumber bottoms
This is a detached opinion from someone who doesn't have dating experience in real life

>>82583674
It's fun and counts as exercise

>>82583663
>there were more bottoms then there are tops
This is an easily verifiable truth. This pattern holds true everywhere, from gay dating apps, to gay bars, even in this very thread it's still true

>>82586932
Ew disgus-tan

>>82586909
no its fucking not and i dont get why all of you are so confident on this. go to a gay bar or whatever and you will quickly realise the vast majority are tops, bottoms only outnumber tops in two situations online, and in gay pride stuff. This is because a lot of tops just dont interact with this stuff to the same extent, and the internet has more bottoms for the same reason it has more introverts. i will die on this hill and i shall be right.

>>82583783
bottoms are just stupid in general
they are stupid and they should let me use their stupid dumb butts

I lean towards bottoming because you can't really fuck it up or be bad at it.

can't you just be a verse and find some other cute verse to do whatever the fuck you want?

>>82586975
you're just retarded and and too naive to realise all the tops are competing for the 5-10% of bottoms that are still young and cute.
a lot of those gay club "tops" are just aged out bottoms

>>82583663
>rejected by several dozen bottoms indirectly
You sound like Eliot Rodger. Like you're so immature, you think that every moment where gays are not eagerly spontaneously throwing themselves in your direction, counts as rejection.
You are so self absorbed, so much stuck in your own head, so bewitched by your own insecurities, that you can't realize how there might be someone else next to you who desires you but is thinking the exact same self sabotage bs: "damn that anon didn't approach me, he must be rejecting me indirectly"

>>82586952
being a virgin and not knowing what having a bf feels like is disgusting.

>>82586997
You can shit on that dick though

>>82587014
Cool idc yay

>>82586975
>why all of you are so confident on this
Because it's an easily verifiable fact everywhere, from the real life dating scene to cesspools like this. Most gays are bottoms.
It's you who have a very distorted, skewed version of reality cooking in that delirious brain of yours. Anything to cope with your failure to act upon your desires.

>>82587025
>Keeps coming back here to cry about not having one and asking for one to the void
u care a lil

>>82586999
if theyre aged out bottoms using your logic, then they count as tops because theyre aged out. If you dont believe in aged outedness then theyre still tops. they are tops. there are more tops because more men are dominant than not, and more men are willing to stick a dick in something, than stick something in their arse, outside of the internet.

>>82586997
>>82587022
ORRR give bad head and then your STUPID FUCKING BOYFRIEND WOULD LEAVE FOR YOU A PERSON LIKE 1 YEAR YOUNGER THEN YOU FUCK YOU DAVID I FUCKING HATE YOU BITCH

>>82586975
>go to a gay bar or whatever and you will quickly realise the vast majority are tops
It's exactly the opposite of that.
In moments like this you let it slip that you have never been to one

>>82587049
Retarded take yay way to not understand

>>82586975
>i will die on this hill
Like you'll die on the incel hill, you will die being wrong about most things.

>>82587051
low IQ logic
you're just trying to find a reason for being unsuccessful on the scene, take a look at yourself and figure out why no one wants to fuck you.

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>tfw no frotpilled bf

>>82587062
>I'm content being alone
lil miserable bitch only comes here to cry about it

>>82587092
Who are you quoting eks dee

>>82587100
please talk about how you had a bf 6 years ago but fumbled it after seeing each other 4 times

>>82587051
>there are more tops because more men are dominant than not
Not gay men

>>82587107
I didn't fumble him tho gloo

I"m gonna visit him next month yay

>>82587051
>more men are willing to stick a dick in something, than stick something in their arse
Not gay men.

>>82587058
no i went once, and everyone there looked like a top so i had fucking nothing to do i am right.

>>82587121
your psychosis is acting up again. Back to the looney bin

>>82587135
>once
>judged people based on their outward appearance
>Didn't interact with a single person
>Gave up after this one "attempt"
Incelcore. You're so unbelievably insecure it's exhausting. Like I said your ego is massive, you think the moment you enter a bar and the spotlight doesn't shine on you as every man fights to get a piece of you, counts as rejection.

>>82587143
Nice non argument yay

>>82587176
make sure you don't drop the meds again or the hallucinations will be back stronger this time

>>82587185
I will drop them today just to spite you yay

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asked ChatGPT to give me a perfume recommendation based on my astrology and it fucking raped me again

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>>82587236
did you get a decent haircut yet?

hiring a private investigator on my crush to find out if he's gay

>>82587352
Yeah my hair is short now but I'll grpw ot out again yay

>>82587352
I hope he did, Meow has a lot of potential.

>>82587352
>three whites
you can tell by the eyes that meow is cray cray.

>>82586998
this, is the ideal

>>82587369
You could just ask you know

>>82587527
Nooo you must fit my top/bottom headcanon where the top is some ultra buff hyper masculine gymbro who deadlifts 300lbs and a 10 inch monster cock and the bottom must be a catty flamer!

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>>82587379
>short now
Like real short? Like boy short? I'd pay to see you rocking that normie haircut I wonder how much it changes your face

>people still have pictures of meow saved
reason number 4 I will never post any personal or identifying information on 4chan

>looking gay
ick

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i just want a handsome lad who loves me for the disgusting fucking degenerate crazy freak that i am. i want to lay naked with him after doing the most unspeakable humiliating and intimate things, and then drift off safe in his strong arms as he hums a tune to me. i can't take it any longer, i don't know what to do. please help ;-;

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Here, let me add one more to the pile.

>>82587768
>a handsome lad
Are you handsome yourself? It is unwise to ask for something that you can't retribute

>>82587768
what have you done so far in search of this lad?
Crying about it on the incel board doesn't count

>>82587022
Yeah that'd be pretty bad, though preventing that is foolproof as all you gotta do is not eat and clean yourself up a bit beforehand.
>>82587054
No fucking way that men who give bad head exist, we literally all have dicks and know what makes dick feel good so a guy should know that stimulating the tip is the goal.

>reveals no asshole

computer mouse got delivered to the wrong address today, so i have to keep playing FFXIV with my keyboard and cant play anything else. this sucks

>>82587818
Smooth down there like a mannequin?

>>82587630
Yeah yay not much

I haven't eaten today at all but now I suddenly get very jittery and even a little sick to my stomach. Maybe I do have a touch of the beetus after all. I know what low blood sugar looks like. After I drank some soda and forced myself to eat a little then it went away.

>>82587807
sometimes different men like different types of oral, it's not necessarily about bad technique. I myself have a very sensitive gland and you can't suckle it like a pacifier it gives me the tickles

>>82587844
As 30+ person going more than 8 hours without eating is enough to make you sick even without the beetus.
>soda
Can't you cut down on that, story? That's too much sugar for you

>>82587868

Ahh well I used to do it, finally had a good day when the leg wasn't bothering me too bad so I played vidya for several hours straight.

As for the soda you can't expect me to just give it up. I am drinking less of it though. Around 3 cans a day vs 5+ like I was before.

>>82587911
>I used to do it
Age is catching up. I used to be able to go 24 hours without eating and feeling fine.
>You can't expect me to just give it up
At least drink fresh fruit juice or something. 3 cans a day is still a lot. There goes all your money

whatever happened to meowster?

>>82587928

I was drinking water instead of the soda. Doesn't fruit juice have sugar in it too?

>>82587939
Yeah but it's healthier and if you're actually making the juice from fresh fruit you also get lots of vitamins. You don't even know what they put in the soda besides shitloads of processed sugar

>>82587971

>actually making the juice from fresh fruit

you think I would do that? At best I would buy it from the store and that likely already has tons of sugar added to it.

>>82587981
>At best I would buy it from the store
Then it's no good. Just drink water.
I suggested fruits because you crave sugar and sweetness so it's a healthier way to satisfy your inner ant without drinking processed beverages.
I get a feeling like you never eat any fruits at all.

>>82588009

I don't. I keep meaning to buy some but I never do. Or I maybe I buy a clutch of bananas, eat 1 or maybe 2 then forget about them until they go bad then go months without getting them again.

>>82588043
man when your money runs out you'll be world of shit

>>82588055

Oh don't I know it. I can see it coming. Looks like more inflation is coming too, my house/car insurance went up by around 75$ each on the year and a lb of ground beef is 7 fucking bucks. Seems like I blink and a hundred dollars is gone.

I'm going to go outside with an eight inch dildo up my butt

>go shove eight inch dildo up my butthold
>remember I don't have one
Why do I even bother

maybe not 8 inch dildo level but would you wear a plug out in public if your bf asked you to?

Would you break up if he said "I love you dad" after sex?

>>82588321
I would marry him desu

he looks like the type of boy who always gets everything he wants

I'm hiring for a husband, I will suck your cock and cook you meals

>>82588304
a bf shouldn't want to stretch your hole anymore than necessary. Only the penis should get in there

>>82588321
No thats perfect

daddy kink is weird, no I am not your father and you are not mine.

Daddy kink is based but it has been co opted by heteronormies who try to remove the incestuous undertones and make it cringe

It is perfectly natural for the sub to call the dom daddy. Bottoms should look up to tops.

I want a dad boyfriend who teaches me how to be a good top by bottoming for me

>>82588623
Okay now thats unnatural

Well you can only learn by doing and a good father teaches by example. It would only be fair to let a virgin gay get those first fumbling premature ejaculations in.

Is getting married to a woman in the hopes of having a biological son to have sex with the only good path for gaycels?

Do you only like to talk about creepy things?

dad bf who tells me to watch my language whenever I swear

12 gauge shotgun

>>82589156
would be fun to shoot, I I think. I don't have one but I can't afford another gun right now so don't get me started.

I have never seen an ugly bartender. It's like only good looking guys can go into that profession even in the most dingey out-of-the-way old man bar

i've never seen anyone uglier than me who didn't have like actual downs syndrome or some other syndrome like that

>>82589458
ugly bartenders don't get tips so ugly people tend to say out of those jobs where tipping is a good part of the income.

>>82589469
There's no way you're really that ugly

I'd like to ask one of you autistic dominant types, what's one of your favorite fantasies of a guy showing his submission???

>>82589545
letting me pee on him

>>82589545
Face down ass up, hole prepped and ready on the bed

>>82589545
letting me tie him up, blindfold him, and gag him just to hurt him, no sex or anything. there's something about that level of vulnerability and willingness to suffer that really does it for me

Unsettling and creepy posts.

>looking at pictures of myself
...yeeeah i made the right decision all along

Trash out, legs and hip hurts, too early for bed. ugh I hate this.

>>82589662
would you rather that he be subby from the get go or that you had to nudge him in the right direction?

I wouldn't mind if my bf wore a pup mask as a rare once a month thing.

>>82589769
tough question, but i think i'd prefer the latter, because corruption is hawt and talking him through it would be fun

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>>82583871
>You can totally have sex by using dating apps just have tons of charisma and put yourself out there
>It doesn't matter if you don't look good just be rich and have charisma
>You can get a boyfriend just put yourself out there and wait
All of your advice amounts to just be a charismatic chad and bottoms will magically want to have sex with you

Wow thanks for that hard hitting advice dude

>>82589814
would you ever reward him?

>>82590091
i'd give him the sweetest aftercare i could. and yeah, i'd reward him if he was good, but not all the time; i'd want him to be submitting for its own sake, not because he wants something later
of course, the ideal scenario would be 'rewarding' him with more pain, but we might need to work up to that

>>82590192
would you want him as time goes on to squirm less and less?

bdsm people are fucking crazy. I want to love and be loved and never hurt the other ever, especially not intentionally.

>>82590475
no, the squirming is cute. seeing the reactions is what makes it fun. i wouldn't want to hurt him too often, just maybe as a rare treat so it stays special and he can't get too used to it. normal lovey-dovey sex 9 times out of 10, sadism the other 1.

>>82590520
this might be a very stupid one, but could/would you discipline him in everyday life?

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Work has taken everything from me. I am the sort of tired that sleep doesn't fix. I have the sort of rage that vengeance will not quench. Every day I hope for a car to squash me on my walk to work. Every day, I wait for my parents to die so I can finally kill myself.

>>82590593
i want an equal partner who occasionally lets me use and abuse his body, not a slave. that said, i would probably go along with it if he asked

>>82590665
>the sort of tired that sleep doesn't fix
Sleep doesn't fix shit. You need sex. With me

>>82586932
I wonder what sort of body one would get from having sex as one's only form of exercise.

>>82590742
Maybe, but I'm mostly just looking for a painless way to die.

>>82590683
in all honesty anon you sound fucking dreamy
what kinda guys do you like?

>>82588693
If only you knew how many men marry and have children, both boys and girls, with that in mind

>>82590897
I do wonder how common it actually is..

Toughen up. Work on yourselves. Get a girlfriend. Have children. Make your parents proud.

>>82590974
What if it's a boy child? What then?

>>82590816
aw, thanks! if i had to pick a type, i'd say shy boys with long hair and a touch of the 'tism. preferably willing to cuddle with me a lot

>>82590974
i look at my parents lives and it's dreadful
i'd rather die

I swear to God we had the EXACT posts above like a year ago wtf

hmm... if i had to picky my favourite typy of guyy it'd be... a guy who's a girl! <== you

and this is why autists (thankfully) don't get laid.

>>82590974
this poor fag in denial keeps saying this but we can see right through it. You're not saying these things to us, you're saying it to yourself, like desperately hoping you could change and just quit being gay. We have all been there, bro. I wish things were easier but sometimes it takes years for you to slowly deconstruct that shroud of homophobia that society covered you with. Thread by thread, you will unravel this web of self hatred, until there's only shreds remaining.

>>82591089
are you just blind or what

>>82591113
>implying 90% of tists aren't incels
are you just stupid or what?

>>82591026
very nice pick! i'd like the same desu
finally, i want your opinion on a little problem of mine: how'd you help bf with incredible procrastination and lazyness???

>>82591351
i kind of have the same problem, and what works for me is figuring out everything that needs to be done, breaking that list down into a bunch of tiny tasks, then doing those one at a time.
so i guess i'd help him figure that out, then check in with him occasionally. ime getting started is at least half of the difficulty, and having another person to help makes that part a lot easier

https://voca.ro/1emLvAGICKY2

>>82591539
that's a pretty good heath ledger joker impression my man

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>reveals micropenis

>>82589859
Attractive, powerful eloquent people have it easy, water is wet, that's never gonna change since we are animals.

All I'm saying is unless you are a 10/10 rich and charismatic Chad you need to put some effort, you need to level up some of your stats, charisma is the most flexible and most powerful one, we are all spergs here so that's the one we should work in the most, if you ever checked those /r9gay/ discord servers anons made in the past you would realize half the members are 8/10 looking guys who are too spergy to get in a relationship.

Obvious shit you are trying to ignore:
>you obviously need to put yourself out there, even if you had godlike looks your chances of finding someone are low when you never talk to anyone
>you need some minimum social skills, you need to read the social cues for when someone is trying to get in your pants
>tops are expected to be the one in charge, the one who message first, lions have a hunting success rate under 30%, it is normal to get rejected a lot even among normalfags and chads but "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take"
>hookups and dating have radically different strategies, try be clear with your intentions, ask your date about their intentions
We "ugly autists" don't have it easy, life is not fair but what can we do about it? we have to work hard for the things we want, remember you are not as ugly as you think you are, try to control the panic you will feel on your first date, a lot of people will chicken out of the date, that's "normal" in the hookup/dating environment, if they chicken out it's not your fault, if you chicken out you may be missing out on something great, that's your decision.
I helped anons from this thread to get dates before, most of them can get a tinder hookup within 2 weeks, one really ugly anon trying to get a BF took 3 months to get his first date, they broke up after 2 years but that's not the point, it's not impossible, you just need to work for it.

>tfw no bf with 4 arms and 4 legs

I miss my ex ebf because I miss having someone to send stupid shit to but he is a normies with irl friends now and has no need for gaycel autists such as myself anymore

I would like a new ebf but I don't know where to meet another one.
I met my previous one on soc but I doubt I'm ever going to find anyone else halfway interesting on that board again

Is 18 too old to get a bf

>>82592519
Yes you're doomed forever boomer

>made my best yeast pizza yet, one of the best smelling ones too; just caramelized onion
>"i'll dash on some salt and pepper to give some more flavor"
>somehow didn't register how much salt was coming out
holy fuck that was so non-malewife of me
at least the crust was safe [delicious]

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As a child, all I wanted to do was make people laugh. I wasn't very good at it. Now as an adult, all I wanna do is get a boyfriend, but I'm not very good at it.

Perhaps I make God laugh in my attempts to make sense of this life. I'm so tired.

>>82591580
mogged me :{

>>82592763
yea broski that is seriously ground breaking
ur close for sure

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>>82592989
Close to what? Cumming?

Last night the other (female) cat that hangs out around here brought her kittens after one month or so of being here most of the day, if not all day. She must've been hiding them until they got big enough I guess. This however caused a staring contest and a potential war with my cat as he was trying to sneak up and attack little kitties. I think he is just trying to protect his territory, as he has a good thing going on here (more than enough food, safe place to sleep, etc) and feels endangered.
https://litter.catbox.moe/dgka3ucfzby6gn1b.jpg

>>82582033
This is why you don't play multiplayer games btw
>>82582596
Why should you use saliva? Are you a cut?
>>82582727
Yeah people are so quick to try to help you out by offering shitty advice but they never put their mouth where their money is XD
>>82582735
This is why you don't date deranged political extremists. Red flag: he cares about politics a lot

>>82583141
Bottoms like long hair now damn
>>82583414
Cute poss yay
>>82583527
Anal is gross don't feel bad for them, feel bad you're into it
>>82583775
Cute
>>82585701
Do you know that most women are straight, like vast majority ad that being straight isn't persecuted anywhere so idk maybe they have it a teeny tiny bit easier idk.

>>82586736
They're notoriously shallow and would probably fuck for money so, I don't think it is. They also see to have daddy issues so that can work in your favor too. But it's creepy and you are creepy.
>>82586894
They don't because most bishits and curious/confused men are tops. And they outnumber pure gayshits by a lot.
>>82586952
Yay so true waa waa where bf to have sex yay meow
>>82586998
What if they only want to be fucked huh. What now faggot?

How many times do you think hue's creator masturbated to those pics of meow?

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>>82577234
Ordered tickets to see my bf again on xmas

any transgirls near madison wi?

> I used to be able to go 24 hours without eating and feeling fine
Hue still can, we can see you shitpost that long without any breaks despite making multiple responses targeted at the same post and waiting for cool down which means you have literally nothing better to do with your time

>>82593818
>madison
>269,840 pop
lmao, pathetic

>>82588392
Wrong place, everyone here wants to do the same. So many cocksuckers lol

>>82588630
No, it's a funny take on a cringe fetish which makes it based

>>82589552
Why would you want to do that to your bf?

>>82593881
are you a transgirl? my biggest fetish is a cute laugh desu

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>>82591457
hey anon, are you still here? i'd like to talk to you a bit more, you intrigue me. but i have two twings that i gotta say upfront:
i am not really ready for a relationship right now, so please don't feel lead on by me. sorry.
and secondly, i'd love if you're still in the mood to talk about "abuse" some more. i really like hearing about it from you. it just scratches an itch in my brain that i don't have anyone else to help me with.
but anyway, i like the approach you outlined to help bf. i totally agree that starting is so freaking hard! if i stop my streak of work it takes me a week to initiate again. i don't know why, but just sitting down and letting the ball roll is so demanding. it's also not the first time i heard about dividing goals into smaller steps, but as i have virtually nought in terms of work ethic, i have a hard time efficiently planning stuff. although i do like planing in itself. i really think that a bf would help with these things, there must be a reason why study groups are a thing after all.

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>>82594009
yeah, i'm still here. cute corn btw
dw about the relationship thing, i'm not in a good space for one rn either. sad!
i'd love to keep talking, but idk what to say... just ask away if there's anything you want to know, i guess
as for the work ethic thing, it's a learned skill. nothing to really be done except force yourself through until you get used to it and it becomes a habit. having someone/something to hold you accountable helps, though

>>82593610
Yay
>>82593645
Waa I don't wanna have sex I feel too bad about myself

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>>82591686
>I can't have sex because I'm ugly and not a chad
>"Well anon have you tried using the apps it's pretty easy to have sex"
>Try using apps and get rejected by everyone for not being chad
>"Well anon have you tried being chad well using the apps at the same time?"

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incredible how all it took to make most of the bitterness go away was this...I don't know if I've struck gold, but this legitimately felt and still feels great. months later and I still can't believe this is real.

>>82591743
>>82578508
>>82587768
Cels of r9g, I was one of you. I was beside you during the years of inceldom, then progressively, thanks to my perseverance, i made an effort, and hauled myself up.
get a boyfriend, get it fast. all it takes is to actually talk to others.

>>82594311
Okay thanks for the info fuck yourself sex having chad

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>>82594324
it's all in your head. you're not trying. you're consumed and blinded by your rage.
your bitterness deafens you to the voice of reason.
you are a fake cel, but you don't realize it yet.

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>guys, you aren't even trying

>>82594228
NO YOU FUCKING RETARD, THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID, YOU HAVE NO READING COMPREHENSION, I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU, YOU FUCKING STUPID NIGGERBRIAN

>>82594111
great! let's see...
do you have any friends? i have one. and how touch-starved are you? i used to be very good at coping with it, but lately i realised how much im missing out on and how necessary it is. i would short-circuit if someone held me.

>>82594413
making profiles on dating apps isn't trying. never used those, but they're bad. By the right of our blood, the bf was promised to us 3'000 years ago.

>>82593797
>bfs are by reservation now
broflation must be unreal

>>82594435
i have a couple friends, all online ever since i moved states. i have a suspicion that one of them is probably gay for me, but i just don't see him that way.
i'd say i'm also good at coping -- not getting affection doesn't really weigh on me, but if i did get it i would probably cry or something. that's probably why i like domming, because i get to be in control of a situation that would otherwise make me freak out

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>>82594501
I mean plane tickets!!!
we live in different parts of europe, can't really meet too often cause of uni and work...

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God gives his least amount of bfs to his silliest soldiers

>>82591761
Can you make a thread and be interesting? Is it too hard for you? Second part of that statement is optional btw. Loser

>>82594526
would you ever get legit angry at bf? say you told him twice about not doing something, and he does it yet again breaking your favorite vase. would you flip out a bit? i definitely can get angry, but don't know if it can be with my bf in mind. it's very unpredictable i'd say, so we would need to test it practically and see.

>>82594721
i mean, i'm not a zen master, eventually in the relationship something would probably happen. i'm not the screaming type, though. i'm usually fairly level, and when i'm really pissed, i just disengage for a bit so i can cool down. can't guarantee i wouldn't say something mean or snippy beforehand, though, even if i would apologize later.

>>82594228
>>Try using apps and get rejected by everyone
Not by everyone, though. Just by guys who are more attractive than you.
You don't stop to think about the people you rejected

>>82594526
>not getting affection doesn't really weigh on me
>If I get it I would cry
you guys can be so blind sometimes

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made blueberry soup who want some

>>82594482
They're bad because they're full of people. They're a means to an end. You use them to bridge the gap. It's a gateway to relationships.

If you want a bf that bad just go out and ask the ugly guys if they'll be your bf

I'd be ok with a quickshot bf, I cum so fast from my dildo anyway.

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u shizos are weird

>>82594865
post bussyi

>>82594774
how did you discover you were into hurting cuties?
nowadays i think my first encounter with being subby was when at like 12 i bought a halloween edition of a comic frenchise i knew, and then saw at one page this young character restrained to a wheel as others tried throwing knifes at it without hitting him. seeing him there so helpless and completely at mercy made my heart skip a beat. i couldn't help but imagining myself in his place.

>>82594664
god is dead and we killed him. go out and get that bf.
billions must date

So I tried to have a sex date twice.
Two dead from intruder gunshot.
I could just cry. I am a widow now.
There is so little left to do but get put to sleep. I can't fathom they will do much else considering my turbofelon rhapsheer. I gonna get killed.

>>82594880
I'm not a slut! Only my fbf will see my bussy.

>>82594147
So true yay where bf to rape me yay I need cock meow cock ya sucking cock non sexually yay

>>82594856
they're bad because they're full of the worst people.

Tops are evil. They want to tie up, beat up and pee on the one they love as a display of love.

>>82594892
the earliest time i remember thinking about it was as a really little kid, watching this Mythbusters episode where they were trying to figure out if chinese water torture really worked or not.
they went into a lot of detail about how psychologically damaging it could be, and they even did it to Grant and Kary. i remember watching that, seeing them slowly start to freak out as it went on, and thinking "damn, fucked up. i wish i could do that to someone and/or have that done to me." not in as many words, but you get the point. i think i've always liked seeing people in distress.

>>82594951
tell me about fear. is it better that bf does or doesn't show it while you guys play? does seeing him scared and panicked turn you on or off?

>>82594842
Lavenderfag is that you?

>>82595018
i think i'd want him to be at least a little scared (because it would turn me on), but that's not really the point. it's more about having them at their weakest and most vulnerable, and then taking advantage of that to force cute reactions out of them. if he seemed really freaked out, i'd lay off for a moment and gently reassure him that he's doing well, then keep going

>>82595162
is it more fun if he's a pure and wholesome dude, or a bitchy jerk?
and on a similar note, would you him be plain and moderated in bed with you, or a kinky semen demon?

>82594311
Wow almost like all barely legal losers who think their life is over and cry over non issues are just low self esteem retards who never put in any effort and magically find success with minimal, simple to do steps. How original, how interesting. I hate most of you retards here.

>>82594636
This thread told me bf has to live inside my house or it's ldr and we don't do ldr in this thread

>>82595275
i wouldn't want to deal with someone bitchy outside of the bedroom, so that nixes that. and as for the second question, it's kind of a boring answer, but i don't really have a preference? yeah obviously introducing someone wholesome to this kind of thing sounds fun, but them being clearly into it is just as good.

>>82594931
They only do it because bottoms are into it btw

Meow so tired didn't do jack shit today either yay

Sadists and masochist are pathetic as they're both two sides of the same coin: tying to be in control of fucked up situations in a controlled environment because real world is scary since they feel powerless and not in control. In short they're pussies.

>>82594930
That would be 4chan. You're pretty bad yourself. Bitter, judgmental. There's probably so much wrong with you and you still find a way to stand up on the moral high ground and put a whole fucking group of people beneath you, without ever giving them a chance to prove you wrong.
Rocking the celibate lifestyle, no apps needed.

im back looking for a gf
who will answer

>has a boyfriend
>spends his whole day on 4chan talking to anonymous strangers about how happy he is
Hue do you think you're fooling?

Notice how those telling you how to live your life are always most hateful and bitter people you will ever meet? That's because they want you keep them company and be as miserable as they are.

>>82595483
I came inside him yesterday while you were here shitposting

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God I love femme gay faggots so much. Every time I see some hip-swishing purse wearing faggot with a carefully gelled coif and a voice that's an octave higher than usual and his wrist bent at a 90 degree angle like he's got muscular dystrophy I want to pin him down and just fuck his ass, I want to grab his hair and muss it. I don't give a goddamn shit about femboys or trannys I JUST want some braindead shopping obsessed homo with an anterior pelvic tilt. I want him to worship my straight masc cock and choke on it while I watch football.

If you're a campy twink PLEASE record yourself reciting lady gaga or beyonce lyrics or billie eilish lyrics or nicki minaj or SOMETHING oh my GOD

>>82595504
the meanest people on this site nowadays are usually normalfags who have sex and a decent career.

>>82595359
would you at first mix sex into the play to dampen the load on the poor guy? how would you react if early on he offered to suck you off while kneeling on legos?

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>>82595433
I don't think you replied to the right post here.
I'm the least bitter and judgmental person here.
I love everyone and everything.
I recognize the people gathered in dating apps are a distorted sample that does NOT represent real life, and do NOT offer the best options.
Billions must meet their bf outside the jewish apps.

>>82595658
of course! i wouldn't wanna just dump him in the deep end like that. plus, making someone feel good at the same time as hurting them has its own appeal. i'd probably take him up on that offer, even if it isn't the kind of thing i'd think up by myself -- i'd rather have control over the pain he's feeling, rather than make it a constant sensation applied by some legos. like with a shock collar or something. it's a cute idea, though.

>Be me
>Tied up in my kidnapper top bf's basement
>He starts pissing on me
>"you're supposed to like this btw :)"
I ghosted him after that.

>>82595772
>Billions must meet their bf outside the jewish apps.
men can't even meet women outside out apps. what makes you think you can find a gay man that way? you live in the gay district of a big city or something?

>>82595821
outside of apps*

>>82595772
Where did you meet your bf if not on an app, Chad?

Does anyone else think the 6 7 kid is cute in a strictly non-pederastic way?

>>82595952
Yes but in a pedarastic way

>>82595821
this is a LIE propagated by Jewish media. most people still meet their partners outside dating apps.

>>82595932
event organized by students.
the point is, go outside, live, smile. enjoy your time. nowadays faggotry is, for better or worse, ubiquitous so start profiting today.

>>82596064
>the point is, go outside, live, smile. enjoy your time.
that doesn't solve the issue that gay/bi men aren't common anywhere but in big cities.

>>82595371
That's not true. Tops are into that stuff more

I don't understand why so many former gaycels feel the need to come to this general after getting bfs and attempt to "hopepill" the people here. Countless people have done this before. We've heard everything. It's great that you managed to find a boyfriend. Now fuck off

It's a shame that chastity cages have been co opted by troons because there are few things more romantic than having a bf who controls your orgasms

hai r9g! i found a bf!
just had to talk to a cute guy! you can do it! we will all make it

>>82596140
sex havers gay and straight like to constantly brag about having sex. it's the one constant across basically all boards and has been for a while. people will bring up the fact that they have regular sex one way or another constantly in basically every topic. it is never ending and the biggest reason why i want to quit the internet altogether. it is inescapable, the constant relentless sex haver blogging across the internet.

>>82596162
>It's a shame that fetish shit for gay men has been co opted by gay men
uh huh

>>82595772
They're literally just gays like you, who live near you, who are lonely like you, and who are looking for someone to be lonely with.
You're not better than them, just bitter. The apps are the best hope for social retards with no friends

>>82596064
>live, smile. enjoy
Great advices. For a normal person.
For these secluded boys, they need something to bridge the gap between online and real life. Dating apps are perfect for that

if i do gay dating some people will see i'm gay though...

Gonna download Grindr just to see if there's someone in my building

>>82596259
its <1000m

>>82595796
ever thought about a tied up cold shower? i'd probably recommend this as the very first purely sadistic thing. it's so freaking easy to do. strip him butt naked. tie him up; idealy in a standing and spread out position so that the he can't warm himself by cowering or hugging the floor. then just get a detachable showerhead. now you control the water's temperature, pressure, and location. you basically can't damage him at all, so go nuts. remember that certain parts of the body are more sensitive to temperature than others. and my personal favorite: iterate between utterly freezing and pleasantly warm water, to send him over the edge. last but not least, the icing on the cake is that all the time you (a hot blooded creature) are in front of him with a towel, so that the first thing he'll do once free is hug you as tight as possible and not let go. during which you can whisper in his ear how good he was. it's literally the perfect aftercare for the occasion.
i think it's a nice first step of a long journey. what do you think?

>>82596358
...you've given a lot of thought to this, huh? i can't say i've considered that specific idea in that much detail, but now that i've read it, it's getting me pretty worked up.
if we're sharing fantasies, probably my favorite is knifeplay. teasingly dragging the tip across his body, pressing it uncomfortably close to his throat and telling him not to move, making a bunch of shallow cuts all over him... that kind of stuff. doing it all super slowly and 'gently,' too. definitely not a first step, but it's something to work towards.

>>82596277
No it's not. Gosh I love how you casually confess you have never tried it before.
It literally shows people 5 meters away if that's the case

>>82596249
So? You are gay. Still ashamed of it? Come on anon. You will feel no shame in the arms of your lover

>>82595508
>came inside a boy
>spent all day shitposting at the same time
Faker than the gym story

>>82595804
But you didn't ghost that piss, piss whore haha
Toilet-kun

>>82596358
Hey sub-kum can you stop posting your gross fantasies and take this to discord already. Can you shut the fuck up already. Long winded shit eating cunt. And stop masturbating to your own posts.

>>82596577
>all day shitposting
During the weekend? Nah that wasn't me. I was busy scoring, like you never did

>>82596538
kneel amerimutt

>>82596498
lastly dear anon, what sort of stuff would you say to him during a session?

>I'm too busy scoring
>that's why I spend 12 hours in a row making same few posts over and over again every day
You can tell he respects his own time by taking cooldowns like a good little busy boy just to respond to the same post multiple times. Anyone remembers when he responded to the same post over 5 times? I think it was 7. Then he did the same with anons next reply. Deranged individual desu ne. So much so he has to pretend he is actually totally having sex and not just a loser desperate for any attention even if it comes from anonymous strangers. He can lie all he wants but facts tell another story.

>>82597077
i'm not amazing at dirty talk, so probably pretty simple things. "good boy," "you're so pretty like this," "you're doing great," "just relax, ok?," "try not to squirm too much," you get the idea.
anyway, i had fun talking about this. thanks, anon-kun

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Meow I'm gay yay where husbie

>tfw no bf to make hentai quotes while we lewd until we're laughing so hard we have to stop.

>>82577234
>who would be?
I have a perfect answer for this but the character is canonically straight TwT

stupid mom put my plushies in the washer now i feel all weird with nothing to hold

Does anyone want to VC right now? I am bored and I deserve to be VC'd with

>>82596543
i don't think there will ever be a lover so i'd rather not

>>82597599
Too defeatist. What's the matter? Why can't you find a lover? Spill the tea. Ever tried before?

>>82597636
i'm ugly and autistic and i don't have a asshole