I've always struggled with depression, but today I think I finally came to terms with the fact that living just isn't for me. I don't fit in with other people, I've never had any kind of physical affection that wasn't intrinsically motivated, and I've never been able to keep friends that actually cared about me. I'm fat, ugly, and worthless. I've been completely miserable for the past three years, and there's no signs that will change. Almost every time I have tried to express myself, it has been met with anger, discomfort, and alienation. I doubt this will change for as long as I am a part of regular society, but because I have to interact with people in order to achieve any love and belonging, it has become clear to me that I'm better off leaving everyone alone. Forever.After realizing I will never live up to the expectations of myself and others, I am choosing to leave this world rather than pull my parents down with me. I know my choice will impact them a lot, and could possibly lead to more suffering on my parents part, but I will try to get them to understand that this action won't be their faults. They raised me well enough, offered all the support they could, and would do anything to keep me alive, but the writing on the wall is clear: I'll be this way forever.I don't know why I decided to post this here. To most of you, I am probably very privileged. I guess I wanted to bring other people down just one last time. I'm sorry.
>>82684393How are you gonna do it? what's your plan?
>>82684393And how old are you? if you're still young you still got time to find a way forward
>>82684420Helium tank with a mask. To my understanding it's painless and will leave my body relatively intact.
>>8268443818. I'm in my third year of college and first year of nursing school. I know I'm young, but I really don't think there's anything I can do. I'm so alone, and it hurts so much.
>>82684496I think its a risky idea, what if you get convulsions while you are dying and the mask don't stay on? or the mask slips off somehow? you'll end up disabled/crippled
>>82684499Man you're just 18 that's bullshit to kill yourself already. also you can lose weight and/or do plastic surgery for your face, and for the social aspect you can read books or watch videos on social skills
>>82684499How the fuck are you 18 and already in your 3rd year. Considering what I'm hearing, I don't think you should kill yourself. You need to find some copes to keep your mind of shit. Why do you want to kill yourself anyway?If you're alone there's a lot of other people here that would be happy to be friends.
>>82684393Great, how about you live anyways.
>>82684519or a seizure*
>>82684519I'm not sure if convulsions are possible with that kind of hypoxia. Helium binds to hemoglobin so your body doesn't even notice a loss in oxygen.
>>82684531I was dual enrollment my junior of high school. It was supposed to be a two year program, but I got kicked out after talking about suicide and making a few people uncomfortable.
>>82684536I don't see much of a point in living a life where I'm miserable most of the time while also bringing the mood of other people down. Suicide just seems like the logical conclusion
>>82684499suicide was the only thing that made sense to me at this age and continued this way until i woke up and quite literally the chemistry in my brain had changed, you get older and just see life differently mate and it will happen on an entirely biological level as you become an adult. Even if it doesn't, you owe it to yourself to stick it out until your brain is done growing so you can truly know yourself before you clock out. I recommend getting away from your parents as a start, no matter what you wanna do.
>>82684545I'll keep it taped on. Loss of consciousness usually occurs around 15 seconds into breathing, and severe brain damage within 60
>>82684393Anon, atleast experience what opiates are like before you decide to kill yourself, it's the best thing I experienced and frankly, an infinite supply of oxycodone would make me content with limbo.
>>82684536classic 4chan
>>82684585You don't necessarily understand the perspective of the people whom might consider what good or bad and for what reason, it doesn't sound logical enough to me.
>>82684496i hope your research was more than seeing pepe the frog with a helium mask on
>>82684622I'm away from my parents. This is my first semester in a dorm room. Seeing and hearing about everyone around me having friend groups/boyfriends and girlfriends is part of what makes me hate myself.
>>82684499>18.quitting before starting.
>>82684635This got a chuckle out of me. I'll pass on the opiates. I might do a fuck ton of acid though. I'm on SSRIs so the effects are pretty diluted anyway
>>82684638I don't really care about what other people think. You may consider that selfish, and to an extent, it is, but I don't really care to continue living for other people's enjoyment. Besides a few people the only people who would be severely impacted would be my immediate family. Again, I don't want to commit suicide, it's just the only way I see myself getting away from my steadily decreasing quality of life
>>82684652do shrooms toomix and match. go fucking nuts. maybe some adderall or meth.make sure to report back.
>>82684641It was, yes. I thought about taking all of my medications in one go, but quickly learned that would not be very fun. This article details the specifics, and it checks out for mehttps://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9412544/
>>82684687SSRIs, in my experience, completely neuter shrooms. I once did 8g and felt almost nothing
>>82684707drop your shitty SSRIs. you're gonna kill yourself anyway. might as well try everything.
>>82684496don't they add a little bit of oxygen to helium tanks to prevent people from accidentally killing themselves when huffing it?so it might not work
>>82684716It takes six fucking weeks to get it all out. Such bullshit
>>82684731Some manufacturers might, but you can buy high purity stuff too
>>82684737lol looks like you have 6 weeks to procure your drug stash and schedule out your various drug cocktails
>>82684791>>82684791That's a hard feat for someone living in a dorm room in the middle of bum fuck nowhere. There's around 23,000 people here. I know a guy who knows a guy, but I'm not trying to do that
