stagnating while the rest of the world spins, while people grow and make memories. everyone else has experiences while we rot.
>>82871910Just need to finish school...Just need to get a job...Just need to put myself out there....
>>82871925and you do all this and still find yourself alone, anon. what are we even meant to do next?
>>82871910When they were partying, I studied the blade. When they were having premarital sex, I mastered the blockchain. While they wasted their days at the gym in pursuit of vanity, I cultivated inner strength. And now that the world is on fire and the barbarians are at the gate, normies have the audacity to come to me for help?
>>82872253i don't think that this is what happens at all in reality..
>>82871955>what are we even meant to do next?we're meant to live
>>82872279that's not living, nonny. growing, moving forward, taking in new experiences, developing yourself. that's living. rotting, stagnating, as the world moves around you? that's just existing. we're meant to live yes, but you and i just exist.
I need complete loser degenerate freinds on discord that will will discuss hating everyone with meadd metheapothecary0585_03482
>>82871910You can avoid rotting by learning and creating things on your 'puter though. :)
posted it againe award
>>82872901i like you nonny! >>82872830i have learned and created more things than i'd've otherwise cared to.. it's not fulfilling any longer.>>82872814consider exploding
>>82872986Oh? What kind of stuff have you made? It sounds more like depression, if it's not fulfilling though. That or you're doing too much of one kind of creation. There's so much to learn about and create too and you've got access to this massive library we call the Internet(although it's also not a quiet or tame library).
The more i fucking learn, the more my head cycles the nonsense and the less I sleep. I was happier being retarded. My thoughts buzz through my head like angry bees. I was happier knowing nothing.
>>82873480Conquer the chaos or embrace it :). Why fight it, anon? Embrace the madness and you'll find yourself thinking of horrifying but wonderous things.
I am so far behind that I am still using Windows 7. Why? Because all I do is bedrot and consume 4chinz and Youtube. I dont produce anything at all, I dont even consoom properly (passionately vs my aimless, distractful way) as evidenced by my lack of need to update/upgrade hardware to some expensive GPU and NAS server to store media, series, music, vidya etc. No, I just consume superficial, vain and rehashed crap.I dont want to be like this but man, I simply do not have the energy to do more. There are so many games, books, and hobbies and concerts I wanna try/go. But I cant because I have no stamina, no social circle and most importantly no money whatsoever. A few years ago, 2019, I had a predictive dream showing me a world that had basically come to a stall. Lo and behold we all knew what happened after. Even today some people report feeling stuck in that era. But the reality is that as always and as the saying goes "Life, it goes on". People are once again out there doing things, spinning, growing and making memories despite it all. My biggest fear from that dream was a barren, radio silent world like that materializing, a world where there was no one left to share it with. Yet in a roundabout way it materialized because it was me who remained stuck, who fell through the cracks and lived in shadows since then, it turns out the problem wasn't other people: IT WAS MYFUCKINGSELF.But I cannot change, I dont know how to. People seriously underestimate how hard it is to break patterns without help and while remaining stuck in the same environment. There is some kind of irony in that to improve your life you need to reach out and engage with the (inmediate) outer world, but then the more you do this the more said negative patterns are reinforced. The fuck are you supposed to do then? Its like people who live with shit abusive families, like moi, who are left with no other option than retreat, unbeknownst to us that would be the final nail in the coffin of "growth"
>>82873480what have you learned that broke you so much?
>>82871910But we wished for that didn't we? outsiders to the tides of time, simply living by as the world spins and we simply orbit.
>>82871910>wetheres only (you) im not one of you shitters
>>82874452(you) are here with the rest of us.>>82874426i did not wish to have my tethers severed. certainly not.>>82873480sometimes i wish i could hire a beekeeper.. i feel the same.>>82873036explored a lot of creative arts, accomplished a lot of things, but my creative spark has entirely died out as i no longer want to create for myself, by myself.
>>82875040I see. I can understand that. I do think about how nice it'd be to work on a project with a girl. A passion project between the two of us. We'd fill in for the gaps in each other's skillsets and shape the story or game or whatever else into something even better than either of us would make on our own. What creative art did you like the most, OP?
i don't know how to get a job. applying with my degree is not working.
>>82875185I'm sorry anon, I wish things were different for you. Hope you're gonna make it.
i'm thinking about trying to make art out of my death
