>>82873084
Follow your heart and cheat on him

>>82873084
Try actually treating the BPD professionally rather than thinking you can just magically will your way out of it.

>>82873105
i tried DBT but it wasnt helpful at all. i still get violently angry at least twice a week. he likes it because he likes insane women but someday im actually going to snap for real.

You need a new bf. My bf's stepdad has a very lucrative job where he has to be gone for weeks at a time and offered for my bf to go into it but my bf said no because he'd miss me too much. Your feelings matter the same as your bf's professional development. You already know you won't be able to handle it so I think you should consider leaving him instead of ignoring your emotions and suffering. you don't have to be a good girl you can be selfish OP. You deserve a man that can show up for you in the way you need. I know personally I need a guy that can talk to me every day and see me multiple times a week until we move in. I did a ldr where we could only meet every weekend or sometimes every other weekend and as an emotionally traumatized woman I just couldn't handle it. I was constantly sperging out. I just need more and sounds like you do too. Never forget you have to live with it not anybody else

>>82873121
Then either try again and harder or just unleash the crazy since he likes it.

>>82873084
Either you will learn to control yourself or you will be unfit for healthy human intimacy for the rest of your life

>>82873143
i am worried ill end up with a normalfag. i live in a city full of annoying woke scolders. i also happen to really like this guy which is embarrassing for me. should i try to manipulate him out of it? i managed to do this for a year but he suddenly got super insistent that this is what he wants to do. i also need someone to split rent with me or else i will be homeless.

>>82873170
Just sounds like while the initial chemistry was good you guys are growing apart.
>should I try to manipulate him out of it
You can train a man or build him up to pursue better opportunities but I've never seen it play out successfully making him give up on a dream or opportunity sounds like a recipe for resentment. Is he doing military or trucking or something niche? Men aren't like us he isn't going to be satisfied with texts and gooshy gifs he will go to massage parlors or fuck tinder whores in the other state
Would you ever consider a halfway house situation? Recovery houses are like $140 a week with everything included and it's women only so you won't have to worry about assault

keep searching for a treatment that starts to work and make you feel a bit more control/awareness cus it will be a lifelong thing you will manage, because it sounds like you're afraid of the consequences and truly deep down don't want to lose control and lose everything. that's good it means deep down you care and your BPD is a distorted version of you on top of it

i'd say the most impactful place to start is probably within the relationship, like does he know about your BPD, are you guys emotionally close and talk about mental health or is it all a whirlwind of craziness and drama (like is being with 'insane women' a thing for him and he just likes emotional roller coasters?)

cus if you guys are serious, start some grounding rituals that you can employ during episodes or preemptively to ground yourselves together regularly and acknowledge the mental health stuff and try to support each other thru it and maybe even tell him what you're afraid will happen (I'm a little hesitant to suggest that tho cus i'm worried it would trigger the episode if he's not securely attached and really love you)

(had a BPD gf who cheated on me after getting married and ODd years later now haunts me as a ghost. do not recommend going that route)

>>82873084
So there's these things called "self-control" and "self-discipline". Things you should have learned before getting into a relationship, but now is better than never. Start improving your control over yourself