Why are so many men sexually submissive? Like, it's rare to meet a man who is genuinely sexually assertive and a top only. Often men who do this just to perform to get laid and not because they love it.Saying it's a fetish for losers is not true. I knew of CHADS (tall, white, attractive) who didn't dick down their girlfriends and instead fantasized about being dommed by women. Gay guys and transwomen also struggle with this problem with most of their partners actually wanting to be a bottom or switch at best, some just pretending to be tops to get laid or satisfy their partners.
>>82874092I'd ask the same of women. Just fucking dom me already holy shit.
>>82874092I don't know, why are so many men sexually dominant? Why are some women submissive and some dominant? Why are any people different from any other people? Thanks for the brilliant, thought-provoking post anon.
>>82874107It makes sense for women to be attracted to confident, powerful men due to pregnancy and a much weaker body.
>>82874118It also makes sense to rape and spread your genes around yet I don't do it, not an argument. Give me my femdom gf immediately.
>>82874115The majority of women is sexually submissive to some degree - some more, some less. This is well reflected in media written or drawn for women. The man of desire is almost always taller, assertive in some ways (even if he's a creepy stalker) and sexually dominant. Doesn't mean hardcore BDSM, but he isn't a little boy who wants to get pegged and have MOMMY spank him.It makes perfect sense for women to crave strong, capable men. It doesn't make sense for men to have a femdom fetish. It only decreases their chances to be sexually fulfilled and attract a mate.
>>82874092so if i somehow trick myself into thinking im only a dom/top, and be assertive i might be able to get laid?
>>82874092Because our life is a fucking holy hellhole of living shit, constant war, constant fighting and sometimes, feeling cared for, for once in our shitty fucking lives, we crack the facade and break down.
>>82874092>Saying it's a fetish for losers is not true.It is>I knowCool anecdote that isnt true for your fetish thread.
>>82874092>Why are so many men sexually submissive? Like, it's rare to meet a man who is genuinely sexually assertive and a top onlyStatistically untrue, if you are using /r9k/ as a dataset then you have to realize there is an insane amount of selection bias by doing so. Other than that, regular, healthy male sexuality is both implicitly and explicitly demonized because of decades of feminist propaganda. The end result is an expression of sexuality that is "safe" within the confines of said ideology, but is incongruent with basic female sexuality.
>>82874134>It doesn't make sense for men to have a femdom fetish. It only decreases their chances to be sexually fulfilled and attract a mate.Spoken like a clueless virgin. You have no idea what people want.
>>82874118Many things "make sense" and you're not seeing them. It makes sense to seek a man who is sociable if you're living in a big society where being aggressive is punished. It makes sense to avoid "confident" men who are manipulative. It makes sense to avoid strong-looking men because they're not needed in industrialized societies, and they're likely to be gymrats who waste resources.
>>82874132That gets you into prison and creates traumatized, fatherless offspring.>>82874146>Spoken like a clueless virgin. You have no idea what people want.I'm a woman. All my friends are women. I surround myself with communities and media that other women (FEMALE) consume. The whole "heheeh I want to peg him grrr >:3" thing exists here or there but it's mostly about standing out as different and shit-testing the man. A man actually getting pegged is very uncommon in popular female erotica and most of my friends would die inside if their boyfriend agreed to it.Again, most. I am sure there is a small % of liberal women who would be okay with some pegging here or there.
>>82874140>Statistically untrueHow is it untrue? Even in sexual statistics women are more into being dominated than men are into dominating.Several of my friends complain in personal conversations that their BF is too feminine in bed.
>>82874186>I'm a woman. All my friends are womenThat's even worse. You're a woman who feels entitled to tell men that they must change themselves to appeal to YOU. You, with no understanding of what it's like to be a man, feel entitled to define manhood. How about you recognize that you have no fucking idea what you're talking about, and that it isn't your place to tell men what they should and shouldn't be like? If you aren't attracted to it, if you don't like it, if it gives you the "ick", too bad. Men do not exist simply to be desirable to women. Get over it.
>>82874201Boring friends desu. I converted all my boring subby/vanilla exes into domming me one way or another. Just gotta be clever about it and make her see how she can enjoy it. My first gf went from only being a sub to practically demanding to peg me, and I'm not even into pegging, she just started really getting off on the idea.
>>82874238I didn't say that. I am just wondering what went wrong for men to have fetishes that don't attract women.Gay men and trannies have to deal with the same problem. All around.
>>82874258>what went wrong for men to have fetishes that don't attract womenWhat went wrong for women to have fetishes that don't attract men?
>>82874267Men are in general much easier to attract. Women (females) tend to be the more picky and difficult mate.
>>82874258>I didn't say that.>I am just wondering what went wrong for men to have fetishes that don't attract women.Are you an actual NPC? How can you have so little self awareness? Listen to yourself you fucking idiot.
>>82874092I think you're mistaking a vocal minority of this board as the opinions of a majority of men. Like most dudes ARE aggressive in bed
>>82874278I am not entitled to anything. However, women being more picky than men leads to unfulfilled bed rooms.
>>82874201>Even in sexual statistics women are more into being dominated than men are into dominating.This is true in that the ratios are not exactly the same, but the overwhelming majority of men are still dominant by nature.
>>82874201>tfw you will never get wife into bestality
>>82874294You have no self-awareness. You literally just said something "went wrong" with men, because they "don't attract women". This is exactly what I'm talking about- you feel entitled to define acceptable male behavior by what WOMEN want. You think it's a problem that men are themselves instead of seeking women's validation for their preferences and behaviors. Go fuck yourself. >However, women being more picky than men leads to unfulfilled bed rooms.Too bad. You can always go fuck yourself, go schlick to rape porn alone.
>>82874370Yes, it did go wrong because it hurts their ability to attract females or be their true self. That is a problem for many men. Doesn't mean I am entitled to anything. Do you understand englisho r not?
>>82874391Ok so you agree that you think male behavior is "wrong" if it doesn't attract women. And you fail to see the entitlement in this. No point trying to reason with someone who can't even understand their own position.>attracting females = being their true selfsDisgusting.
>>82874439If your true self has the desire to attract a beautiful girlfriend then yes.
>>82874391Lol dawg this goes both ways, the lack of dominance in women hurts their ability to please submissive men. Also sexual submission in males is very strongly linked to intelligence and accomplishment, try going to a prison and asking around for who's into femdom.
>>82874451Not him but I've had very nice gfs who dommed me thougheverbeitdesune?
>>82874463Yeah, I'm sure they were extremely happy and fulfilled. Glad to hear.
>>82874092Outside of online spaces it's really not that popular. It's more a meme than anything.
>>82874468They were in fact, yeah. Are you autistic or something? Or maybe not, I'm literally autistic and I can understand that people have different preferences.
>>82874092Dominance and submission are fetishes.Normal human sex isn't quite so binary. It's more real to say that men are more often "dominant" or assertive than women but even that ignores the nuances of the situation. Dominance as most now understand it is pornified performance. Its a performance that many women now require but its still artificial.Think back, not that long ago, women and men never saw porn and married one person, mating for life. Do you really think all this performative bullshit was at all common?
>>82874545>Do you really think all this performative bullshit was at all common?Don't pretend there's any way to know. Most people throughout most of history were illiterate and left no record of their private lives and personal thoughts. Any ideas about how their sex lives were like is speculative fiction at best. Like who the fuck knows how many times blowjobs evolved convergently in different places?
>>82874478Totally. Congratulations!
>>82874092Men are human, woman are slaves to biology
>I'm le submissiveOK, I order you to dominate me sexually for my egostical pleasure.>nooo not like that
Oh yeah also wanting to bottom and wanting to be submissive are two different things. They often go hand in hand sure, but you can very well be a dominant bottom or a submissive top.
>>82874568Ok but the increasingly odd shit that gets pushed into the mainstream by porn doesn't strike me as being likely.Or do we think that 18C fishermen were into scat, feet, diaper play, and bukake?
Porn is mainstream and destigmatized, more men than ever are being exposed to and being allowed to talk about sex, especially in its extreme forms.Men are more anxious and depressed and less experienced than ever, it's natural to want a guiding hand.There's less need for gender roles than ever, many men no longer feel the pressure to be assertive simply because it's expected.There you go.
>>82874134To be fair, the pegging and mommy kink is a meme. Even among the subset of submissive men, those kinks are rare (admittedely anecdotal evidence, but I spent more than a year now in femdom-themed communities so there is a large enough sample size).Personally, as someone who is a submissive, I am not looking for a partner who is a mommy or a bratty dominatrix. I just want a mostly normal person who is assertive, direct and likes to tease and take the leading role in bed. It's not even about kinky stuff in bed, but rather the emotional aspect of trusting someone enough to give up control. Additionally, maybe it's my insecurities or whatever, but I find I rather enjoy putting the pleasure and enjoyment of my partner first and making them happy. And I think you will find most subs are around this. Certainly not some sissy little boys who wanna get pegged by some bitch in latex.
>>82874092I think you're just going for men who appear obviously dominant because as a woman you are flooded for attention and it's too much work to vet them properly, so when you get to the bedroom you find out he wants to be pegged or something equally inane. I'm sexually dominant but you wouldn't be able to tell based off how I am publicly because I'm rather restrained and emotionless, going with the flow of whatever because whatever it is doesn't matter.
>>82874455it's funny that dominant men = criminals in the eyes of submissive men
>>82874092Dom shortage. Being dominant is hard work, it's exhausting. Everyone wants to be taken care of by a sweet partner. Men want a bangmaid mommy gf and women want a provider daddy bf. It's only natural. People want to take as much as they can while giving back as little as possible. As a man I'm like this too, all my fantasies ultimately are about being saved by a mother figure. Honestly I think that being selfish is natural but the difference is that I'm a man so I'm less valuable on the dating market. It's expected of me to let go of my childish fantasies and dedicate myself to my partner. For women it's different. They're expected to dedicate themselves to their children, not their husband, that's a big difference. That's why I consider myself a volcel, a voluntary celibate: I'm too lazy to put in the work and I don't think the juice is worth the squeeze. It's just not worth it for me. I'm much happier being myself alone in my room than performing for someone who doesn't really care about me. That's just life.
>>82874946I'm literally willing to bet money that if we go into a prison and do a fetish survey the femdom % will be lower than the population average.
>>82875019>Being dominant is hard work, it's exhausting.desu a lot of the reason is that most subs suck ass. I like putting in work to satisfy dommes, it's very rewarding.
>>82875044Truly.Being a starfish is just embarrassing as either a man or a woman
>>82875019>Everyone wants to be taken care of by a sweet partner.is this true thomy bf tells me he loves to be the caretaker and never wants to switch
>>82875217Being cared for does not mean being submissive lol, if you do not show your dom care you are a bad person.
>>82875387>>82875217I'm submissive because I like satisfying women's desires and caring for them yeah. I want to pamper them, serve them etc.
>>82875387he just legit doesn't want to be taken care of though
>>82875553So you don't cook for him? You've never helped him undress after work? You don't wordlessly clean up after him? You don't bring him things he likes or say nice things to him ever?
>>82874092Because men and women share too much DNA. Default state for both of us is to chill out and be lazy. Also default is that we like to be desired but it is hard work to reciprocate that desire physically.Testosterone fixes this, also for both of us. But T ebbs and flows with whatever else ebbs and flows for women, and just peters out for men over time.
>>82875578i don't cook (he does and wants to feed me) or cleanhe prefers me as useless and cute/weak/lazy as possible and i don't mindyes to nice words or little trinkets
>>82875598>yes to nice words or little trinketsYeah brah like I said everyone wants to feel a little care and affection. It's minor but it's you showing him care. No one wants 0 care unless you are detached from their existence and they don't actually care about you. You're a lucky girl and he's a lucky guy, I am wishing you two happiness.
>>82875598>he prefers me as useless and cute/weak/lazyGirls are so lucky. Jesus christ imagine a dude saying that lol he would get destroyed.
>>82875730Men can be lazy if they are rich and get pampered by women.
>>82875730this isn't the norm though most men aren't like him and prefer non-lazy women
>>82875730She specifically is lucky. Most guys would see her as a complete burden and no one wants a burden, especially in year of our lord two thousand twenty five. I know anons here like to say guys don't care about a woman's job but most guys still want a big girl who can handle adulting which includes being able to get and hold down a job. Obviously a lot of guys don't want to date girl boss company executive but they don't want to be caretaker to an adult woman either.
>>82875949yeah this is true 100% the average man is turned off by our scenario
>>82874092Nah. Porn comics are like 95% dominant male, and half of them are harems. Men absolutely want to be very sexually assertive but the modern world has turned sex into something men have to beg for like little puppies. Albeit that's partially their own fault half the time for not actually satisfying their partners or staying attractive
>>82876078Porn comics are 25% ntr which is usually read via the cuck pov so what are you talking about?
>>82876099Japanese stuff represents the nerd audienceI think korean pornwha is much more representative of the average male
I just associate domination with rage. The only time I could ever be dominant is with someone that I hate or someone that makes me mad, so it'd never work in a sexual situation.
>>82874391>it hurts their ability to attract females sure>or be their true selfHow do you know what their true self is? Odd thing to say.
>>82876606I meant it hurts their true self if they want to be submissive but they can't cause their female partner isn't into it.
>>82876611Ah, I see. Well, many things hurt us. Masculinity, for all the good it (supposedly) does, hurts most men too; same with femininity. Things aren't as simple as hurts = bad
>>82874092Why would they be dominant? Or rather, how could they be? On Tinder, Chad offers women easy dick. Money, what used to be the great equalizer, has vanished. The physical aspect of masculinity has completely disconnected from daily life in our industrialized society (you might still find naturally muscular men in primitive places such as Nepal or the american midwest), so all it proves is that you can pay for a gym subscription. Competitions don't matter unless you work in sports. The only things left to be a Man are the military (also industrialized and cucked as fuck thanks to jodies) and politics (which is why men are turning right wing more often). Modern society doesn't need men, just workers. You might ask why women are still relevant as a gender/group/culture; it's because they spend money. That's all.
>>82874092I found my submissiveness faded away pretty fast once I got to have sex with an actual woman, being dommed would still make me very hard but I would never expect it or ask for it. However I am still not dominant enough for the average woman's fantasies unfortunately because I have no interest in choking or slapping or anything else that violent. I just like regular vanilla sex
