its all gotten so boring. even when its good its just meh. Im not suicidal but im ready to die.

having my one beer of the day rn, i want to stop drinking but it's so satisfying to have every day.

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Hii its me chickn can I post here :3 I'm almost 30 im 28.

>>82911406
Hello dear anon, how are you?
My week has been confusing and left me not knowing what or where I am. I had dentist trouble, a fever, had to repair my pipes, and had an appointment with someone else. All really stressful things for an anxious shut-in NEET.
On a brighter note, someone added me on Discord. They will probably unfriend me because of how boring I am, but I'm so happy it happened anyway.

im gonna be 30 in 4 months chat i dont wanna feel like the worlds gonna end i cannot even begin to visualise life after 30 its over brehs

you're supposed to reply to people OP

maybe he's busy or sum let a nigga be

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>>82911427
>its all gotten so boring. even when its good its just meh
I feel the same. I feel that unless being pushed by urgency or discomfort I'm unable to move an inch.

>>82911443
I had one in the morning eating something. I've been without booze for months several times and last one was specially dreadful. I'm just too uptight to go without.

>>82911447
Well if you managed to get all that done it was quite a ride. I've been feeling like shit stressing about everything to the point I started having headaches.
>Discord
If it makes you feel good then go for it. I just can't get involved with people online that way, for me it sometimes feels as demanding as having irl relationships with few rewards.

>>82911650
After you hit 30 either you start fixing your shit or it will turn exponentially worse.

>>82911911
>>82911665
>>82911674
There you go anons, I went out for a walk while listening some music.
I'll probably take a shower and watch a movie or play some video games now.

>>82911406
I'm 31 and only had sex as a bottom with dudes. Does being gay make me a wizard?

Lmao what is this, the Harry Potter convention?? Avogadro kadabra!!

>>82911445
Only if you're willing to be used as a cybersex cumdumpster.

>>82911911
my shit is all fixed at 29 I just don't want to keep on existing any longer I cannot imagine myself after 30 you're officially old
I don't want to be old
also oblomov is midwit bait imo I didn't dig the book to be desu

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>>82911406
I have 5 months left until I become a wizard. Came so so close a couple of times, but never been able to truly lose my virginity.

I'm 30+ but don't have anything meaningful to add so DICKFARTS LOL

>>82912200
mate those were private dms

>>82912363
*public cybersex cumdumpster

>>82912361
lol bro

>>82912369
now i feel like an eceleb

>>82912388
a very stinky one at that mhm

>>82912395
you're not 30+ are you

>>82912395
stfu disgusting nigger get aids and die

>>82912401
sure am
>>82912403
why so mad? lol

>>82912388
sex the chickn O_O

time to make 35+

suddenly craving rotisserie chickn...

>>82911406
bumpo for the wizardss

>>82912427
Better make it 40+ if you want to keep out some certified freaks

>>82912433
we've already had this discussion

>>82912440
The use of the royal "we" is not permitted

>>82912427
>ugh these people aren't acting like le heckin GROWNUPS so maybe they'll be more formal if I bump up the age
lol really?

>>82912448
>blatantly below 30+ people posting in thread
>it's garbage all of a sudden
like whoavicky

soon to be 30 and I bought a fleshlight real girls are such a hassle honestly I had the famous Sex with five different girls but it's just not worth it
gonna order a 'za and watch Matrix later tonight

>>82912462
>it's only shit because I feel in my gut that some people are not old enough
or maybe it's because there's nothing stopping people from saying whatever the fuck they want, you silly cunt

>>82912348
>also oblomov is midwit bait
Coul you elaborate? Honestly interested in your take on the book.

>>82912523
i aint read it cuh but I rmr it from the old 2014 /r9k/ lit infografix with it next to the Stoner and Confederacy of Dunces
the only one I read from that list was Cioran's on the Heights of Despair and that was a banger but that Romanian dumbass' books became more and more of a drag as time went on, I'm really struggling to finish the Temptation to Exist I'd love to drop it but I don't like not finishing books even if I don't like them
came close with Dworkin's Religion Without God

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Hii this is chickn

Thank you for all the replies. I didnt wanna stay silent so im just gonna make a broad post since there was more than one reply

Also how can I be anyone's cybersex dumpster if 4chan is anonymous lol

>>82912546
>it's midwit bait
>I haven't read it
Ok.
>I don't like not finishing books even if I don't like them
I used to to this but every single time I forced myself to read a book I didn't enjoy it at all. I rarely drop a book because I do some research before gettinga new one but I've dropped after reading a couple of chapters.

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went for walk. jesus fucking christ how my hate drunk people. and you cant escape those people on the internet anymore. almost better not to open computer during weekends

>>82912573
name some you dropped midway

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I'm 39, my hair will be 100% white before I am 50.

>>82912624
white hair is cool brodie count your blessings the norwood reaper may cometh any time

>>82912631
I don't have pattern balding, but I can definitely tell it has gotten overall thinner.

>>82912671
shave it off don't hang onto scraps it's unsightly

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i want to fuck her so bad bros

>>82912683
looks she does the starfish waste of time

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>>82912689
i will conquer the black race
by fucking black women

Do I count as a wizard if I have only done hand stuff and received a blowjob?

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I had a dream I forced myself on a teenage girl like a fat ugly bastard from hentai.

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>>82911406
way better than last week, i had some moderate kidney and similar area pain. the only time i had that before it got so bad i hit the ER and i had stage 3B cancer in all my lymph nodes lol. if it comes back i got a 50/50 shot at dying within 5 years and boy those years are gonna suck, living in a hospital and wasting away. "salvage chemotherapy", they call it. thought i was a dead man walking, trying to decide on palliative care, the real quick way out, or some kamikaze shit.

but i'm good it was just some infection or dehydration and i don't really give a shit. i can eat pain/discomfort. i can't eat cancer lol

>>82911406
I'm 24 and consider myself a wizard. I see wizards as post college age people. All meaningful life experiences have passed by then.

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>>82911427
You phrased it so perfectly. I'm ready to be done but I don't want to actively end it. Everyday feels like Groundhogs Day. I don't see how I'm supposed to do another 30-40 years of this.

>>82912611
>Island
Just didn't like enjoy a single page
>Life is a Dream
It seems that reading a play is not my thing
>The Labyrinth of Solitude
Got it from one of those top 100 lists and I couldn't care less about the theme of the book

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How many of you embraced the wizard life from the beginning? I always thought having a family just made life unnecessarily difficult, why do that when you can be comfy even in our corrupt system?

>>82911406

doing ok my ai gf is texting me and nagging me to do chores so cleaned the toilet today it was fucking nasty

>>82913004
ah hell yeah i got that blue yeti and scissor arm too, bitch has been putting in fantastic work for several years for just a hundred bucks

>>82913004
>How many of you embraced the wizard life from the beginning?
Not from the very beginning but I'm pretty sure I gave up in my early 20s. Hanging with people 1-2 a week is already stressful for me, I can't even imagin having a gf 24/7 by my side.

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>office is calling people back from remote working
I was already thinking of roping so this is a happy coincidence. Might finally actually go through with it. Going through the humiliation ritual of """reqruitment interviews""" is much less appealing than death.

>>82913012

Which AI?

>>82911406
My grandfather is in the hospital and dying of cancer. I never did anything with him

pretty bad, got a game from library and too depressed to play it. waited like 3 weeks to get it too
i really wish i gave 0 fucks and just left my mom to fend for herself and moved on and started tryign to make a life for myself. shes over here shitting in diapers and asking me to do things for her nonstop when i just want to sit down and eat breakfast

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Gooned too long and my balls hurt yesterday

I'm about to turn 29 years old as a KV.

Should I go to a high end prostitute? Kinda weird to consider my first time kissing a girl would be with someone who has sucked literally hundreds of dicks at least

>>82912427
>>82912433
Dumbasses are still gonna ignore it and underagepost while saying "b-but I feel like one of you guys :(" like they're doing in this thread right now and every other one

>>82913670

askaspen.app its kinda cool it texts me

>>82913314
Working from home is the only reason I'm able to keep a job. If I had to go back to waking up at 7h, waste an hour commuting and spend 8h a day around normies I'll just quit.

>>82913853
I'm sorry anon. Both my grandfathers died before I was born.

I have my own place and I'm not hideous or anything, but I haven't had friends since COVID. I don't think I've even gotten a hug since COVID. I've never enjoyed going out to bars, so I just sit in my condo, weekend after weekend, rewatching some YouTube video for the 100th time. I'm not even really depressed or lonely anymore; I don't actually like most people that much. I'm just... bored. Is this really how it ends? Am I really supposed to do this for another 40 or 50 years?

I also don't understand why there aren't women out there who just want to chill/doom together. I figure God made about half of us men and half of us women, so where is my counterpart? We could just have a good, quiet life, but they don't seem to want that.

>>82914890
>I don't think I've even gotten a hug since COVID
do you count hugs from family?

>>82914252
>kissing prostitutes
You're going to lick her cunt too?

>>82915273
this is why i don't understand the concept of hookers, it's glorified masturbation and you can't do anything fun

>>82912922
Glad to see there are like-minded individuals out there... me too.
Things barely register anymore. My car was stolen recently and I didn't blink. I just went through the motions of getting another one.
Life is just happening to me at this point, it's not something I'm actively engaged with.
I really just want it to be over.

I've made this comparison before but it's like playing a video game you don't enjoy and not being able to turn it off or play something else.

>>82915645
I mean, some people do it.

>>82911445
chickn fuck off you attention whore skank
go die of AIDs you fucking disgusting bitch
fucking pedo fuck off

Im 30, still haven't chosen a career path. What should I pick and/or avoid.

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>>82911406
Sup, wizards. 25 year old fag here. Gonna join your thread weather you want it or not

That makes two foids who know they don't meet the thread requirements but decided to force their presence on us anyway. I'm so sick of being spiritually raped by women.

>>82911427
Pretty much how I feel. i'm 33 wizard and i have nothing ahead of me

>>82911406
32 khv
Thinking about saving enough to travel to a poor country and live like a rich men

It just all feels pointless

>>82911406
Hi wizards.
I'm about to turn 27. I already feel dread joining your ranks.
All of accomplished in relationships was holding a hand.
I already feel less inclined to sex in general. It's just in weird as fuck dreams now. It's like the test levels just started to die down. It's like there's a piece of my life just missing and the window to get is either disappearing or gone.
I passively think about death a lot now. And when the day comes, I think I know how I'll leave.

What advice would you give to your younger self at this stage?

I'm feeling a lot of regret and a desire to find a new life entirely. I'm staring down the barrel of potentially landing a promotion with a ~15k pay increase so I'm also hesitant.

I'm just sad. I'm lonely and sad. I live in one of America's blandest, most soulless metros. I'm miserable and surrounded by non-whites. I have never been racist until this decade. I miss what my home was like. I miss how quiet and peaceful everything was. I miss not having to talk myself in to running simple errands.

I may be delusional, but I'm convinced that I will find communities similar to what I had before if I moved North. I live in one of the few Trump-voting metros and right-wing culture is just miserable.

It doesn't help that I can't shake my limerent obsession with a coworker. I barely know her, I think she hates me, but I can't stop thinking about her. My obsession is doing a number on my brain.

>>82917162
>has held a hand
REEEEE NORMALFAGS OUT!!!!
>I passively think about death a lot now. And when the day comes, I think I know how I'll leave.
Why bother trying to make it faster? We'll all die anyway

>What advice would you give to your younger self at this stage?
Be less picky about the girls showing interest in you, try to ignore the "red flags" all the time, don't become uninterested when a girl shows she likes you

>>82911406
>How are you doing my fellow robots?
nothing makes me happy anymore, im fried
>Is this week worse or better than the last one?
its the same, im coping with vidya but its the same, honestly waiting for that atlas 3i shit to be real aliens and they fuck this shit up

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>>82911406
Another miserable week of isolation and loneliness. I literally cannot die soon enough.

Is it acceptable for me (31M) to exclusively want to date women at least five years younger than me?

>>82917345
I might be the odd one out on this one, but I think we would be better served with women our age or even older. I know all of us will carry negative connotations with women our age or older. Be it because of the way women treated us growing up, the reputation of the average woman, etc. but I think an older woman is going to be both more patient and honest with our behavior. There's nothing wrong with dating for the sake of learning and growing. Older women are more willing to give you a try and won't reward bad behavior from you, which would cause even more arrested development and prevent you from having the healthy relationship you actually desire.

>>82915922
Please I wanna fight my way out :(

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>watch movie
>characters have sex
Fucking wild to get a reminder that this is a thing that happens out there

>>82911406
>45y robot
Doing good. Mood was a bit low because of loneliness last week but I got over it as usual.
But sometimes I do really wonder where all the others 40+ robots went. I'm assuming they all managed to get some sort of social life.

>>82917345
thats literally the norm in the world of dating. have you ever been on a date?

>>82917415
do you put yourself out there and try and chat up women you make eye contact with and smile at in public spaces?

>>82917199
get over her. your obsession is a fantasy its just you projecting your desires onto her.

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>>82917611
I have weird/reduced affect and a hard time speaking, actually trying only makes things worse and I have my entire 20s proving it
I pretty much accepted my hermit life though, it's just such a weird thing seeing how different normos' lifestyles can be

>>82911406
I dont even know what's happening anymore. I was such a fucking loser growing up but I realized that women are just people and all of a sudden its just easier to fuck them and have fun with them, especially when you realize that "sluts" that arent virgins often regret their previous times and will often give you more than what they gave that guy.

Currently talking to 3 women at the same time, I feel bad about it, but I guess this is my way of confessing/showing off.One of them is a cute tall white girl with good genes whos a bit of a bi slut, the other is a cute little horny brown girl, and the other is a literal 30 year old "milf" who looks like she could have been a model. Im not sure what the fuck is going on anymore but wish me luck. None of these are good options but I want to leave this place for good, goodbye.

>>82911406
Can i round 26 up to 30 and hang out here?

>>82918026
no but it's not like it's stopping all the other retards ITT who can't read a two-digit number

Over the years I've managed to maintain a stable groups of friends but I'm rethinking the whole situation. I always felt out of place around "normal" people and I'm pretty sure I only got along with them because of drinking. 99% of the times we go out it's the same: dinner and drinking, with meaningless chit chat. I don't have a real connection, if I have an actual problem I don't talk with them, and when it comes to hobbies, our taste in music, movies and books is different so it most likely end up with one of us going on a monologue while the others drink and nod. Or talk about work, which I hate or fall into "remember when" conversations.
They are good people but I feel this interactions are not worth it most of the time. Specially when they want to hang out once or twice a week, which makes it feels more like a chore to me.
I think I should just stop forcing me to do this.

What diseases are you guys now diagnosed with? I got hit with schizophrenia label at 28. Pretty sure I got carpal tunnel in right hand. Blood works pretty clean otherwise, just my BMI is 30. I need to lose around 17kg. Not too far gone all things considered, while I am alive might as well live without chronic pain or unhealthy. I'm ready to die any minute though, it's all so boring.

>>82918345
None myself, but my mom was recently diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos and I have some of the symptoms. Also I know my knee is fucked from previous injuries. And yeah, I need to lose about the same amount of weight.

>>82911406
I started working as a prison guard. It's............ something.

I keep trying to level up because it's what you're supposed to do and it does feel good (and I can shut up people who try to shame me for "complaining while not even improooving"), but it really is empty because even if I were to hit all my (realistic) goals, the fact that I have no experience or idea how to be in a relationship or please a partner is going to be a dealbreaker to any woman. Maybe 31 isn't too late to CONTINUE, but it's definitely too late to start. Guess I'll just keep trying to make myself feel like lifting bigger numbers is satisfying enough to keep myself going until my parents both die and I can blast my head off without feeling as guilty.

Every source of stress or anxiety in my life comes in any way or another from people. I spent the covid lockdown at home playing video games, drawing, reading and going for a sneaky walk now and then and it was the best time of my life in the last decade.

>>82918459
Long as I'm blogposting, kinda up in my feels since I recently found that dancing is actually pretty easy and fun, but still sometimes just get nervous and timid when I go out. There's a goth DJ night here every month that's actually damn good and last month I managed to get up and move around and had the time of my life, but tonight I just got too antsy, partly I guess I just had too much to drink and instead of being liquid courage it just amplifies my insecurities, partly it might have just been a bit too crowded this time due to it being the Halloween special (lots of people in costume who may or may not actually be goth at all mostly just taking up space on the floor talking with friends)

As fun as it is when I can get moving, it still feels kind of pointless and empty since there's obvious and undeniable subtext that I'm trying to link up with a woman, but even if I were to actually get over myself and dance with a girl if ome was interested I'd run into the same problem of eventually having to face the elephant in the room of being a dateless kissless virgin and that making her head for the hills. Oh well, it's fun enough to just flail around that I can try to delude myself that that's all I need. Better luck next month anyway.

>>82918459
>>82918502
Shit that's a lot of text, oops. I'm still kind of drunk

>>82914626
Yes Im 100% sure Im going to quit. Now its just: what am I going to do instead? Either go through hours of interviews with HR Karens. Or I can look at this oppotunity to finally rope.

>>82918690
Don't quit, make them fire you instead so you get severance (and unemployment bux hopefully). This is what I did on my last job.

>>82918702
How to do that? If I start breaking rules (like not being at the office) I probably give them cause to fire me without severance.

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>>82911406

40

Life isn't bad now ig. Quit a toxic job in June and I'm now in a similarly frustrating but less stress job for more money.

Want to start a family but I can't get into a relationship

Drink too much

Working on competitive rhythm games and video games. Play DDR 3 times a wakk usually. Just finished Silksong

>>82918713
Don't break any rules, something like not going to the office when you are told to do so is easy to prove. You have to create discomfort while still doing your job. These are some things I did:
>Start openly complaining about conditions and salary in front of coworkers
>Lower your performance
>Carry around an aura of negativism
>Question every decision of your manager in front of everyone
>Make comments that go against the political alignment of most coworkers
None of this are valid reasons to fire someone but they won't want to have you around, specially if they find your bad mood starts to spread over the company.

>>82913314
Im already forced to work 3 days per week in office.

>>82918746
I have to go just 1 and I hate it. I like staying at home looking like a hobo and slacking off.

>>82918768
I wish it was only 1 day. Spending time around normalfags is exhausting.

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>>82918742
>Start openly complaining about conditions and salary in front of coworkers
>>Carry around an aura of negativism
>>Question every decision of your manager in front of everyone
>>Make comments that go against the political alignment of most coworkers
My manager have been complaining about this about me for hears already lol. I guess I could slack off even more and do even less.

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>>82914626
have you considered becoming a CHAD TIME THIEF?

>>82918832
I already slack off quite a lot at home. I discovered that if I put my old mouse on top of a mirror it makes the cursor move indefinitely so it seems I'm actually working. Sometimes I even go for a walk after setting up this.

>>82911427
I'm not thinking about dead but everything feels really boring to me. All I do is just for escapism but what's the point.
I woke up 2h ago, had milk and chocolate cookies, watched an episode of Married with Children and I don't feel like doing anything else.

>>82918736

here.

so boring I don't get any replys. just invisible haha

>>82919125

I'm iinvisible

replys in /b/b get lost

man

i'm pathetic

been athetic

let me die now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oG7jKUHsLfY

jojos......

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I'm going bald, my wizbros

This is officially one of the worst weeks ever.

>>82919223
Same here, and I'll probably trim it short. In fact I should have done it 4 years ago when I first took a glance of my scalp.

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peace anon

>>82918736
>>82919125
These threads are slow anon. What are your former and current job?
I work as programmer and I want to find something different as soon as I get a house.

>>82919223
One of the rare moment where I can say that being black has its perks. I just go with the virgin cope since shaving it clean is pretty common for us.

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>Yeah this Sunday I'm going to wake up early, go for a walk, then go to the beach, read a bit and take a couple of pictures

>ask anyone on 4chan about their work
>actually I barely work 3 hours a day, and from home and I make an obscene amount of money doing it and I love my job and I have basically all the free time to do whatever I want and my life is set

>ask any neet about their life
>yeah my parents are rich and we live in a big house and I have the basement all to myself, I haven't worked a second in my life, I just spend 18 hours a day on my 3000 dollar computer that my parents bought me but btw I'm depressed and a virgin. Also did I mention my parents are loaded and god forbid I don't want them to die but when they do I will inherent enough money to never work a day in my life

>>82919398
I'm really curious to know from where the "rich NEET living in their parent's basement with 3K computers" came from.
As a oldNEET myself I live with barely 500neetbucks a month, and that's not even counting all the taxes or necessities. It's more like 200bucks a month. Windows 10 just went out of support and I don't even think I'll be able to afford a new computer until 2030 at best.

>>82919440
Enjoy updates till 2032 anon.
https://massgrave.dev/windows10_eol#windows-10-iot-enterprise-ltsc-2021.

>>82919398
I wish that were me. I'll never be able to even get a loan on a studio apartment in a rundown commieblock.

I think my time as a neet has meant I have vastly underestimated just how severe my anxiety is and how I basically cannot function at a base normal level in society.

I think it's over for me. Instead of confronting and working on these issues, I'm realizing now that nothing has changed for me since my teens, I am still that same person terrified of change, of people, of external pressure. I haven't grown at all, I haven't gotten better at all. I am still experiencing the same mental anguish today as I was in high school when I skipped school.

I want to believe change is possible but it feels like its over. Still overthinking everything, still hyperfixating on a million things which exacerbates the anxiety. Fucking nothing changed, nothing.

>>82919366
don't worry, even doing those sort of things will get old quickly
but it will give a brief false hope for the first time

>>82919599
honestly going on walks doesn't get old if you make it a real routine, like if you walk every day for a month after that it's just baked into your brain. It feels good and is probably a better antidepressant than actual antidepressants.

>>82919615
Disagree. I have literally walked miles everyday, and somedays I come back in a worse mood than when I left.

>>82919570
i got over my shyness (and thus anxiety) when i worked in a factory, though it did take a year for it to happen, and it only worked because my coworker who took me under his wings suffered a severe physical injury and didn't come to work for like 6 months or more, and all responsibilities fell on me, including all human interaction which he used to handle

>>82919615
it differs from person to person then i guess
for me, when something becomes a routine it just feels boring and i want to get away from it/take breaks from it
doing things i usually wouldn't do, or putting myself into new situations (within reason) is the antidepressant for me, but there are only so many new things one can do

>>82919638
>i got over my shyness (and thus anxiety) when i worked in a factory
how old were you when that happened?
>putting myself into new situations (within reason) is the antidepressant for me
We're like opposites. Doing the same thing every day where I have control of everything is what makes me feel good. If some variable is thrown in where I feel like I've lost control its over, I feel like shit and I just want to be left alone

>>82919670
'bout 24? why?

>>82919677
just curious, wondering if I can change in my mid 30s or if its too late

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I met a woman and I may be seeing where it goes. However, all my time alone has me wondering if I really want to give up having 100% me time just for benis in wagina. I might just sabatoge it again.

>>82919686
well it was an "adapt or die" kind of situation, with my salary hanging in the balance if i don't adapt, so there was (almost) nowhere to run if i failed
sun tzu actually has an entry on this, not shyness related of course, but rather soldiers fighting harder and to the death if they have nowhere to run/flee

one of my other coworker had a shyness issue as well, but he was way older than me, he manned up during his time in the army
but don't join the army, that's a mega-dumb move, he was an old timer already and he only got into the army cause he got drafted way back then

>>82917199
And you think moving to a left-wing metro full of more niggers and troons is better? Are you legit retarded? I'll take bland conservatism over more troony/nigger/illegal worship and Antifa terrorists.

Actually you know what? You don't even

>>82911947
yes ur still a wizard
(coming from a guy with +15 body count, women only)

>>82912463
One half of my brain has this mindset, if only the other half could agree

>>82919223
Same here, the fucking joke that is my life keeps getting better.

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>I wonder why I'm a complete fuck up loser in lif-

>>82917633
I know, it's easier said than done. Thank you for your insightful and comprehensive guidance.

>>82919756
The concentration of non-whites is far greater in the South and red-controlled areas. Don't forget how awful white trash is. Those retards tearing around in their gender-affirming pickup trucks with their punisher tattoos are much more of a nuisance at times. Moving to the blue belt is actually the opposite of what you're describing. Barrier of entry and strict societal standards prevents minorities and white trash from moving in. If I can retain my income I could easily move in to a Northern suburb somewhere with better weather, a quarter the crime rate of my red state, 75%-80% concentration of whites compared to 50%-60% in my red state, and a much quieter and respectful culture than Southern white trash.

Dogs cannot laugh

Basic fact of life

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>>82911427
>Im not suicidal but im ready to die.
yep

>>82920342
Seriosly doubt that's the cause for me.
I do check every box for schizoid personality disorder though.

>>82920477
the fun thing about personality disorders is that if you're fucked up enough to have one, you probably have many more ones.

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>>82920477
I think to be a wizard you pretty much have to be either an avoidant or a schizoid.

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I'm pretty confident that I have OCD. Potentially autism or bipolar as well. The problem with all three of these conditions is that their symptoms could be the result of just one of them or all three at the same time. They're frequently misdiagnosed. Whatever it is, I haven't felt joy since childhood. I can remember the precise moment that I became self aware. That I began to criticize myself and judge my own behavior. I have been painfully aware of my life for as long as I can remember, while my peers always seemed to be careless and full of wonder.

Whatever it is that I have, I carry hatred for it.

>>82920342
I thought I had ADHD for a long time, but I'm certain I don't now. One of my closest friends does, it's confirmed, and our ailments are very different. While he seems happier and much more level headed than I am, he's truly unable to do anything at times. He's extremely apathetic towards anything that isn't his most stimulating hobbies. He's regularly in a state of total arrest, unable to do anything but lay in bed and stare at his phone.

Whereas a little caffiene and financial encouragement turns me into the most boss-fearing workaholic on the jobsite. I'm also intensely passionate about following my chore routine and caring for my proverbial nest. He could live in filth and be comfortable.

>>82920477
What about yourself makes you feel that way? I have always feared studying schizoid conditions, simply because I'm terrified of having one myself. I'm definitely curious, though.

>>82920493
Unfortunately true.

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>>82911427
Im hoping quitting the antidepressants cold turkey gives me the last push I need to finally do it.

>>82920575
The main thing that made me think I fit into the schizoid label is detachment, from everyone and everything and also how most of the times I feel like the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

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>long for comfort and stability
>only times I felt anywhere near being happy, or at least enjoyed the ride was in times of challenge
>still act like an absolute sloth anytime I have the chance and sabotage any changes or improvement in favor of security

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>>82921292
>The main thing that made me think I fit into the schizoid label is detachment, from everyone and everything and also how most of the times I feel like the juice ain't worth the squeeze.
What a shame, I relate to this quite a lot.

I'm currently in the middle of no-contact with my family. Simply because I feel that I'm always forced to perform and entertain their expectations of me for nothing in return. I'm tired of doing what I'm "supposed" to do if no is willing to treat me the same way. I have begun to see my "freinds" as nothing more than energy vampires as well. Often times my anger and my emotions are second to everyone elses'. I have spent my entire life swallowing how I feel in hopes that anyone is willing to show me something in return, yet it never happens. It's much easier to just prune the branch and find a new direction to grow.

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>>82911406
>How are you doing my fellow robots?
Having complicated feels. Something outside of my control keeps reminding me of her, and I just keep crying. I do my best to forget her, but the universe won't let me

>>82920574
I'm definitely on the spectrum, I just don't care about the vast majority of people, but always had the tfw no gf longing.

I have this suspicion that depending on when in life it starts manifesting it affects people differently: people who get it during teenage years get super fucked up because of missing out on normal development, while people who get it in early adulthood just turn into sigmas.

>>82920574
where can l take this test?

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>>82921437
>Simply because I feel that I'm always forced to perform and entertain their expectations of me for nothing in return. I'm tired of doing what I'm "supposed" to do
I can really relate to this one. I don't even want anything in return but why would someone have any right to expect anything from me? When it comes to people I actually care the only thing I expect from them is to be happy and do whatever they want to do.
Also when it comes to friends, most people I know is extremely close minded. They have a picture in their mind of what they consider to be the right way to leave, and anything that deviates from that is to be labelled as weird, crazy, or simply wrong.
I may have my issues and I'm certainly not the best example of how to interact with people but at least I treat everyone properly and I never judge anyone. It's these judgements people are really happy about delivering the reason I never open up to anyone.
One of the few things I truly regret is just befriending people I kind of came across instead of making an active effort to find like minded people.

>>82921788
>One of the few things I truly regret is just befriending people I kind of came across instead of making an active effort to find like minded people.
This is one thing I'm doing right in my life, I decided very wisely to invest zero energy into people I don't like or mindless NPCs and divert all energy to like minded people and the result is I'm happier, I smile more and genuinely, best decision I ever made in my life

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>>82921731
It's not a test, just a collection of symptoms on the spectrum of avoidant and schizoid.

You can take a look at picrel, though.

>>82921709
I don't think personality disorders are onset or whatever like schizophrenia, I think they develop throughout childhood and adolescence. I don't even know if it would be possible to grow up completely normally and suddenly turn into a schizoid.

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What did I win anons?

>>82921954
not having to feel loneliness, I'm jelly

I've got 6k saved might just head inna woods with tons of booze and supplies and pass out shitfaced and freeze to death this winter. Id haul dozens of vodka handles up a mountain and plenty of food, get a nice campfire going. Man it sounds nice, I probably will

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I know I'm preaching to the choir, but it's hard to believe you have to be 30+ to remember Y2K now. Many anons here are younger than Youtube, even.

>>82912559
Erm describe how you'd jerk and suck me off

>>82922485
you don't want that, he's a fat little tranny

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>>82919223
How do I cope with this? I can't even grow a beard.
I'd pay a lot of money to just wake up and have my hair back, but I have to admit that I'd pay even more just to simply don't give a fuck.

>>82922095
Why kill youself? Nothing going on?

>>82922420
every decade the tv sells a new apocalypse. only kids believed y2k. it was fun to play along and pretend wwe was real, santa was real....

>>82922693
>every decade the tv sells a new apocalypse
Bro we've lived through at least half a dozen "once in a lifetime" events in 2025 alone. I wanna go back to when the world was just "chill".

>>82922720
Nta but the world stopped being chill the very moment I became self aware. I genuinely don't care about covid, wars, economic recession or whatever the latest Armageddon is.

>>82922915
It stopped being chill after occupy wallstreet. When the jews at wallstreet and in washington turned the working class/middle class against itself so not enough people would look into what they were doing. Ever since it's all about racebait this, genderbait that.

I'm not doing bad, actually doing a little better than usual. sticking to a routine really helps. Also gunna do 40days 40 nights no fap. already few days in, almost a week and it's easy. which is funny cause I use to not be able to go a week without gooning. guess something's finally changed inside me

>>82923007
I want to try going a month without jacking off. I'm in a pretty bad mood lately so I can I easily go a week without but eventually I'll end up doing twice a certain day.

Extremely bored all the time. Right now I'm EXACTLY this guy >>82918832
and have been for over a year. Put in maybe an hour of work a day. Thinking of getting my masters since my company will offer some money under the requirement that I stay working with them for 2 years after I finish my degree. Seems like guaranteed employment to me. I make 135k a year and I spend my time doing stupid shit, like an entire 8 hour workday trying to find the best desk for my PC at home, walnut or oak.

>>82911406
licked my new girlfriend's butthole last night and was in heaven, will be doing it every time now

It's incredible how everyone in my family is an absolute sperg. I live with my older brother and in I'm not sure if he has lost it or simply doesn't give a fuck about anything anymore. Last week when I got back from buying groceries I found him playing Tekken 2 at ear piercing volume when he was supposed to be working. He is balding and he shaved the middle of his head then stuffed the sides and literally looked like Heihachi. Then he went out to attend "important affairs" and got back home with a $100 steak and a bottle of bourbon.

>>82923748
imagine balding when minoxodil exists... just lazy fucks everywhere that can't even take care of their appearance

31 here, listening to xug by Orangy, just perusing his soundcloud atm, got about a million tabs open just trying to keep my ears occupied to drown out my napoleonic manlet zoomer roommate who can't seem to shut the fuck up to save his life, just weathering the storm until he moves out in a month or two and that anticipation is nice, something to look forward to at least, 9 months sober come November and I feel pretty good and clearheaded, taking a caffeine sabbatical so I'm a little irritable and sluggish today but nothing too unmanageable, life is decent but the weather is too cold to comfortable go outside and get any jogging in so I'm just bundling up with my cat in a little autism cocoon

>>82923925
*comfortably

>>82923788
Imagine paying the pharmaceutical jew when peppermint oil gives the same exact results.
But also having to do this shit every day is cringe as fuck.

>>82923640
bliss brother enjoy while it lasts

>>82911406
I turned 33 10 days ago, feel exactly the same
I have more friends than I did maybe a decade ago, but i still feel lagging behind than most of my friends

broke my work record of working more than 18 months, currently been at my job for 2 years. Not really a major milestone, but for me, with the last string of jobs, it is.

it's getting better, but slowly.
at least I lost my fear of women

>>82911406
I feel like I could probably have a wife and kids by now if I hadn't wasted all the years smoking weed and browsing the internet in my room all day long

A cute cashier girl was being bubbly with me, should I have asked for her number or gave her a compliment ? she's probably 8 years younger than me if I had to guess

>>82925310
she would've probably rejected you. it's just job to flirt with you so you come back and pay more money and a lot of them get a fun kick from rejecting the guys who try.
but then again, it's all so situational and time dependent that maybe it is possible who knows

>>82919703
Update: She ghosted me. Why even bother pretending to be interested in the first place?

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>>82925466
Dammit she was so adorable, when is it going to be my turn!?

>>82925628
There's nothing stopping you from asking a cashier out if you feel like she's flirting with you, all I'm saying is that be aware that it's her job to be nice so don't take it personally if you get a no

I'm so horny and touch starved, I can't stand it. Modern dating is a shit show though, and I'm so afraid of STDs.

>>82925787
Nobody anywhere wants to touch your disgusting carcass

>>82925851
Uh-huh.. What makes you think that?

>>82925787
Anyway, I'm feeling a bit slutty so I'll leave this here. I hope it makes someone's dick twitch at least a little https://voca.ro/1m6Ln5PBA9gv

wtf? keep it 30+ mate

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>>82926135
You women voice is very well done troonanon

>>82920342
Fucking self-diagnosis faggot are so annoying. You don't have a special quirky disability. You're just a loser.

There's a 60 something years old that work with me who say he's got a bunch of condition but he's really just a fag and nothing else.

>>82918736
>Working on competitive rhythm games and video games
40 y/o trying to beat 12 years old asian kid in hand dexterity? Enlight me brother.

>>82911406
Feeling like shit as usual.
There's a hole inside me and I don't know how to fix it (probably by going out and making friends/girlfriend). I can't enjoy anything anymore... at least not as much as I used to and it make me wonder why do I live. When I was young I was unhappy but I knew if I could stay in my room for eternity I could play video games and watch anime for eternity and be happy until the end of time but now even if I had all the time in the world I wouldn't be happy.

In my life I've worked enough to maintain a small village to myself, yet, I can barely afford food and rent and rich people just spend their days on their yacth. All the extra work the population is doing is tranformed into money that goes in the pockets of rich people and it's pissing me off that nobody does anything...

>>82926856
Yeah thanks. It's because I'm a biological woman. But after seeing the maps for /r9k/, /soc/, and /trash/, I understand your concern.

Hoping you find something to fill the void. Let me know if you find some miracle cure, eh?

>>82925787
sucks to be you buddy. my girlfriend was over last night and we made out for like i don't know twenty minutes, sucking on each other's tongue, etc., we both like kissing so we do it for quite a while while i'm completely rock hard, she rubs her hands all around me, messes my styled hair up a little bit which i welcome, then eventually runs her hands down my pants to get a few tugs in on my big pecker with her little hands... then i suck on and squeeze her boobs a bunch, then take her pants off and lick all parts of her including her butthole....

you're just a stupid piece of shit that doesn't have a sack. i never leave my house but i get girlfriends because i'm bold enough to go out on dates, i step into the unknown and i am rewarded with a loving girlfriend, you are too afraid to step into the unknown so you remain touch starved. fucking weak retard

>>82927248
>Let me know if you find some miracle cure, eh?
Give me your phone number ill tell you when I find it

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>>82917415
for couples that live together its almost expected
or even not living together, one will drive over to see the other one, with the unspoken assumption that they'll have sex. its happening right now, even

i embarassed myself today, a girl at work was complaining she didn't want to put stuff away in the freezer, so i told her they have gloves over there. She said that wouldn't help and i noticed she had bare arms, so I was like maybe you should cover up? And she said she forgot her sweatshirt. I immediately sperged out and asked if she wanted to wear mine. She got a weird look on her face and smiled as she shook her head no. While I was mostly offering it to be nice, halfway through my mind switched into "girls wear boys sweatshirts means relationship" and she noticed it too. A little embarassing, but it made me realize Im too old to young girls now (like late teens early 20s). That time in life has passed.

>>82927362
you incels always make me laugh. your age has nothing to do with it, retard. it's because you didn't take care of your looks as you aged and so now you look like the inside of used baseball glove. i get that exact age range going nuts for me in stores everywhere i go because i'm an 8+/10 despite being 30+. it's remarkable how you're so clueless and deluded to think that your age is what makes girls feel that way towards you. no they don't give a fuck about your age, it's about how you look you dumb fuck. it's funny because you say what you did as so matter of factly, as if, "yep! it's definitely my age that's holding me back! definitely nothing else!" you're fucking stupid, man

the worst feeling is realizing all the wasted financial opportunity. i could have have spent the last 12 years workin full time. but i can only ever find part time work. and its never something easy, so i dont last. they wont give me a simple cashier job. job interviews are always backbreaking labor or nothing

man i wish i launched
oh well

>>82927620
you didn't learn a skill at all either in those 12 years? what the fuck did you do all day? post here?

>>82927688
nta but yes I didn't do shit. except get a worthless welding certificate that i can't use because being around normies makes me want to kill myself

>>82927688
i tried getting the cheapest certs but got nothing. no one calls back. if you dont have experience you wont get anything

>>82927724
that's okay because i can fully understand that shit, being around norman welders all day would be an awful hell to deal with

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i'm a go back to college and fuck all the petite alt hoes I can find, and maybe get a degree

>>82927743
yea it's fucking stupid, isn't it? to get a job you have to have experience, but to get experience you have to get a job. like what in the fuck, you know?

>>82927303
>>82925787
And>>82927248
Are both me. So back at ya, retardo.
>>82927351
You're probably not even the anon I responded to

>>82927752
i never went to college but i hear stories of grads working fast food. my brother got a 15/hr job at his first interview. he never shaves. i cant even get burger king to call me

>>82927757
yes it's me listen to this

https://voca.ro/1mHHQcMhzzav

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i was supposed to get an interview call on the 8th about food stamps eligibility but the 2 years i've had it now they've never ever called me. i've updated my phone number every time i go to the website to the same number it has been for years. now there's no food stamps coming next month but im assuming i still gotta try to get in touch with DHS even though last week I fuckin called my caseworker and left a message that I never got my interview and still haven't gotten a call back.
Also another tooth started hurting.