Had my first day of job today and I can't stop crying. The work was easy and the people were courteous but inside, I was in such despair, I had this pit in my stomach and in my throat, I felt like dying is better than this. And those were the longest 8 hours of my life, and ever since I came home (6 hours ago, eu timezone) I can't stop crying.I hate this brain of my, I don't want to be so sensitive. I just want the stress to stop, I want to feel comfortable for a moment. But in 10 hours, another day of waging begins... worst part is, my psyche is such, this will happen in any place of emplyement, and It didn't get much better after 5 months the last time. I wish I qualified for neetbux.I took 150mg of Zoloft today, should I take additional 100mg?
>>83270204What was the job? I know work is never ideal, but realistically, what would be your idea job?
>>83270252I stand near a machine and press buttons. Old ladies can do this job. It's not the job- I am mentally ill and my reactions to normal life are completely unreasonable. I know this and can't to anything about it. Ideal job would be no job, I think I would hate everything If I tried to do it for 8 hours.
I was prescribed 50mg but fuck it I am taking the maximum allowed dose (200mg). I'll just pester my shrink when I run out.
>>83270274If you know that nothing else would bring you happiness, try to find it in what you got. If your doing the same mundane shit, make the most of it. Learn, expand your mind, find hobbies outside of work. Don't live to work, work to live. Shit could always be worse anon
>>83270316Thank you chat gpt but I do not find pleasure in knowing that others have it worse. And I can't control my emotions and thoughts, after work I just lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and cry
>>83270347What type of food do you like? Have you read any good books lately? Watched any old movies? Played any good games? Taken a walk in a park? Watched any good anime? Find pleasure in the mundane first
>>83270204You're not alone fren, I have this reaction too. I start a new job this weekend and I'm hoping I don't feel the crushing dread I have often felt in the past. I too don't understand it, maybe it was developed from our childhoods or it's just the way we are but the emotions of it can be overwhelming. I empathise a great deal.
>>83270412It's a matter of the strenght of the emotions. Sure, eating food feels nice. Though I don't have time and energy to cook after work. I read the Count of Monte Cristo and it was a fun read. I watched a lot of movies. But it simply cannot compare to the struggle of daily existance. Good moments are fleeting while suffering at work makes 10 minutes feel like an hour. Life is not fair. Or maybe it's just my brain that is not fair. >>83270429For me it was the mixture of my mother's anxiety issues and my father's depression/avoidance. For them it's a struggle but they manage, I got a combo that's too much to handle as a man. Are your hands and feet trembling at work? Do you jump when someone shouts?
>>83270204>The work was easy and the people were courteousAnd you even got it easy kek, now image this with people yelling at u for any simple mistake, hard physically demanding job on your body that isn't even that easy.Things will get worse in the future that's sugar
>>83270514I know, If I woke up with the average normie life I would kms immediately, I also got a (delapitated but still) car from my mom and I live with my father so I can quit anytime. But the pain is constant and often become unbearable, and I yearn for any release, even death.
>>83270553You can't quit anytime your parents will force you to get another job if you do so.You're not going homeless either and surely you won't kill yourself.This is your new life.
>>83270274>I am mentally ill and my reactions to normal life are completely unreasonableyou would qualify for neetbux in america
>>83270204after i quit me job with 12h shifts, i wish i had just gotten a part time job, long hours sucki worked about 5 years of me life, and now i plan to live with what those 5 years in investments get me passively, i wont be rich, but its enough to not worki wish future me wouldve told me this, so im telling someone else, good luck anon
>>83270854nta. its extremely hard to get neetbux due to mental illnesst. someone who has appealed 5 times for neetbux and has diagnosed schziophrenia
>>83271072>its extremely hard to get neetbux due to mental illnessin europe?
