Since around two years ago I've been getting this feeling of dread, like some shit's about to go down. Simultaneously, a covert wish to die the most horrible gruesome death possible so that the suspicion may materialize.A lotta shit's happened. I'm finding health problems that have been systemically dismissed for decades, and now that I have the proof (medical records + X-rays and MRIs), I realized that perhaps I could've had a normal life if my legitimate concerns had been validated. I have told a restricted group of people about this (NOT strangers, these are people I thought I could trust) and they didn't really care, which left me kind of dumbfounded.It seems as if there's... nothing to do, anymore? Other than perhaps moneymaxxing and rolling dice with that money. But the best years I could've had are completely gone, I'm not gonna be 16 years old again.Anyone else in this situation? And yeah, before you ask - short, ugly, poor and dysfunctional family, never had a GF, had ONE FWB and emphasis on the 'benefits', she just wanted shelter. I do have a job, but it feels like I'm just cucking myself, since half the paycheck is used by the state to actively destroy my life.
