So anon, can you tell me what skills you can bring to our company?
>>83275631uhhhhhhi have a degreei can read and talk and walkso what do you think? am i a good match or what?
>>83275631I bring the skill of photocopying my balls.
>>83275640>i have a degreeFantastic, we are looking for graduates for our entry level unpaid internship, you'll be wholly responsible for a team of 12, benefits include constant line monitoring by management, and the freedom to work weekends
>>83275643>photocopying my balls.Sorry, you'll have to cut those off if you want to fit in with our company ethos
>>83275631i uhhh am disabled and can sit around and be a goodie point diversity hire (woman with disabilities, can also claim bisexuality for extra points even tho im not but no one will question it)
>>83275631I have a BS in fartology from the university of BRAAP!
>>83275653i'm so grateful for this opportunity (fucking jew asshole)
>>83275631I can rape any woman
>>83275631I'm a part time jew baiter and woman beater. Also got a side hustle as a nigger lyncher.
I have a high school diploma, I'm partway through my CompTIA A+ course after passing the 1201, and I've worked at least two jobs in every field that doesn't require a degree. Except I guess farming since grandpa didn't teach me anything in six months.Alternate answer: *please?*
>>83275864I understood nothing what you said about that there computer words, but damnit im impressed we have the perfect position for you, if you allow me one moment, I'll present you the opportunity of a lifetime....!
>>83275874>it's a burger flipping job>again
I just lied on an irl interview hours ago and dont have the heart to do it againDidn't even want the job but now i gotta do 2 more and a background chekc
>>83275631I speak Spanish better than the majority of your company. I understand the importance of costumer service and patience. If something can be improved i will find it.
>>83275864Found the ideal role for someone with your skills
>>83275660As a disabled woman of colour myself, im sorry but that position has been filled.However if you can play table tennis whilst wearing car ears on your lunch break will can consider you part of the team.
>>83275907at this point I'd kill my only friend for a shot at a tea shop
>>83275672Sounds like a degree thats heavily focused on practical applications, unfortunately our company has a no stinky policy, so its a no from us but we wish you every success in the future unless its with us
>>83275674You better put a genuine smile on top of those gritted teeth, we dont want another HR incident, do we anon?
>>83275676Security!
>>83275692Sorry the applications for ICE are futher down the corridor
>>83275884Anon you shouldnt lie unless its to preseve the happiness of others. What happens if you lie in this interview and get the job? You'll feel so guilty!
>>83275887>If something can be improved i will find it.(fuck)... Erm anon, i just dont think you're the right fit for this role, we dont want to rock the boat
>>83275917They have tea shops in prison so its win win
>>83275943I really really enjoy lying its fun
>>83275943you should lie in job interviews. really. it's expected, and the requirements for the positions are formulated assuming that applicants will lie to some extent. this is what my recruiter/hr family members keeps telling me about. if you are honest you are not only uncompetetive but simply not playing the game in the way the rules are meant for.
>>83275967What things have you lied about recently?
>>83275982I never lie, i simply tell my truth
