I hate being a skinwalkerI HATE ITall I do is copy people in hopes that they will like methere's nothing else that i can doi have nothing elsethere is nothing underneath all the layers of copied and assimilated crap i took from othersi am a hollow husk
>>83278617>there is nothing underneath all the layers of copied and assimilated crap i took from othersThere must be something.
>>83278617>all I do is copy people in hopes that they will like meBroderline personality disorder is treateble, bro.
>>83278985it's not bpdi've met bpd people who have stuff to call their owni don't have anything>>83278961there is literally nothing
>>83278617stay alone at homelisten/watch/read a [x media] that interest you without looking at reviews, news about how [x media] isCreate stuff without looking at any referencestry these exercises, try being more idiosyncratic, appreciate you more, observe your thoughts etc.There's a lot of exercises to develop one self, do it
>>83279193>i've met bpd people who have stuff to call their own>i don't have anythingNot everyone presents it the same way. But the feeling of emptiness is indeed pervasive as a common trait in BPD.
>>83279234>Create stuff without looking at any referencesthe problem is that i don't really like doing anything unless it relates with other people/i can do it with other people>>83279280i am diagnosed schizotypal though
>>83278617Autism really can end with one's life...
>>83279329it's worse than autismautistic people have stuff they are passionate aboutI don't
>>83279301>i am diagnosed schizotypalWait why are you copying others rather than making up your own crazy bullshit then? I thought schizotypals were supposed to stick out by being gigaweirdoes who *aren't* like other people.
>>83279343because i have nothingi am an empty huski have no soul
>>83279343>*aren't* like other people.i am not like other peoplei just copy themthere is no one in this world who i understand and who understands me
OP look into masking and autismI am being serious and not joking or making fun of you. I genuinely think that may be what is going on for you and you are not coping well. I could have written this post myself 10 years ago as a teenager not knowing about autism at all. Once you know it gets easier. You stop mimicking others so much and you start doing it less
>>83279356>there is no one in this world who i understand and who understands meabandon this thinking pattern, there's absolutely someone who is as special, weird as you. It's already good that you get to be around people I think, it means they like you and accept you
>>83279420but i don't have any fixations or anything>>83279562> It's already good that you get to be around people I think, it means they like you and accept youi'm just an acquaintance to themthey don't care about me
I am the same i think
>>83281385you should kiss me and tell me you love me and hold me
>>83278617you aren't a husk, you just have schizotypal personality disorder and are struggling with a fragmented sense of self from chronic social detachment and identity diffusion. targeted therapy will help with that
>>83281427>targeted therapy will help with thathow so?
>>83280125you can be autistic without an obsession. it's unfortunate.
>>83281427What OP described doesn't sound like schizotypal at all, they usually have no interest in copying others and retreat into their own magical fantasy worlds.
>>83281450therapists can guide you through structured exercises to integrate those fragmented parts into a coherent identity. i have bpd, aspd, and alexithymia, and i had to do it just to feel like i even exist
>>83281483isn't that a core autism trait though?
>>83281485schizotypal people often do mimic others in subtle ways due to identity diffusion but yeah youre right it might lean more toward bpd or dependent pd in this case. ive seen both in therapy groups
>>83281495No, having restricted interests is a typical symptom, but the quirky special interest obsession thing is more of a stereotype.
>>83281485>>83281540it's so over i am cluster b>>83281548okay so i have autismnow what?
>>83281493how long would it take?
>>83281600depends on how deep the fragmentation goes and how consistent you are with therapy, but for me with my cluster bs it took around 18 months of weekly dbt and schema therapy to feel somewhat integrated
>>83278617copying people is Machiavellian af. become hateful and all of a sudden your copying is malicious and cool. Dark Triad type shit
>>83282108it's not cool at all. i know people who do that as a conscious strategy and they just seem desperate and pathetic. to have the vibes of a loser as a married millionaire white guy famous from tv is one hell of an achievement but if that's what you want, this is how you do it.
>>83278617Why not learn to revel in the deception? Every person that you convince to see you the way you present yourself can become a personal victory. You can even challenge yourself to become a better actor in order to deceive more people.
>>83282128having the vibes of a loser is the funniest shit ever man. even just thinking of it makes me cackle. even better when you don't have money or a wife and you're just a straight up loser. gotta be clownpilled type shit y'know?
>>83278617>assimilated crap i took from othersSo? This is a lot more common than you might be assuming. Just copy a variety of traits from multiple sources and viola you now have a complex multifaceted personality. Good luck
>>83282207i don't really know, and maybe it's because of insecurity that i can't laugh at that, but i'm glad you think so
>>83281884How do you get the time to do the therapy?>>83282108>>83282143Because it's obvious it's not really me? Also i want people to like me
>>83282855Not to the level i do it. People still got things they are passionate about. I have nothing
>>83281407>you should kiss meWhy
It's over. You should just end it all
>>83278617This is called being socially inept. I'm not creating a hobby or two out of thin air, for example. Er is nul vastigheid in te beleven en we zullen met z'n alle met jouw autisme meeleven. Zolang je maar zelfmoord pleegt aan het einde van de dag. Want je wilt niet zomaar een autist zijn, toch? Je wilt wel een goede autist zijn
>>83285717So i'm supposed to just kms?
