In the context of a romantic relationship, what is love to you? Could you be in love with someone without sex being involved? Could you bear it if one day your wife of 10 years said she never, ever wanted to have sex again? I want you to consider this seriously. Imagine your partner is a person who otherwise matches you well. For what it's worth, you're attracted to her. You share some hobbies. You split duties like bill paying and chores in a reasonable fashion. If you envision raising kids with someone, they're a great and active parent to your children, and your in-laws are affable. If you weren't already in a romantic relationship with each other, you would definitely be close friends. Your wife's reason for no longer desiring sex is that she simply doesn't want to anymore. Maybe part of it is that she's aging and losing the hormonal drive she had. But she's not cheating on you, you're not awful in bed, or anything of that nature. She doesn't want to have sex anymore, and that's that. Can you still imagine yourself loving her for the rest of your natural days? Or still making an effort to keep the romance alive in your relationship? (Such dates, vacations, massages, and so on.) I would enjoy some insight into (you)r feelings on relationships, and the extent to which their value to you is correlated to engaging in sexual activity.
>>83283881>In the context of a romantic relationship, what is love to you?When they really want me and I really want them (for who each other are in an accepting way)oops boss is calling I gotta go
>>83283881I cannotIf you lay claim to the title of my lover, you owe me sex and satisfaction
>>83283881My value on sex is high and on relationshits is nonexistent.
>>83283905>My value on sex is high and on relationshits is nonexistent.How do you cope? Spending neetbuxx on whores every month?
no. erotic love -- which is what being "in love" is about -- is inherently sexual. romance and sex are inextricably intertwined. if i were in love, i would want to fuck that person. being refused that would kill me, and i am not quite so desperate for scraps of affection that i would accept a hollow relationship like that. i'd feel betrayed and deeply hurt if she suddenly decided this, and to me it would be the same as being told that she feels no love for me anymore. if our acquaintance had never developed into love, we could stay platonic friends forever, but there's no going back. it has nothing to do with "value" being "correlated to enaging in in sexual activity", it is simply that sex and the desire for it is a part of that kind of love.
>>83283881Married anon here.That's definitely a tough one, but everyone has their own interpretation of love. Some healthy, some not. For me, this is what I would consider. >Someone that i have a serious connection with. Similar likes/dislikes.>Sexual compatibility>Someone that has my back and likewise. Perfect example, they get aggravated when someone says something negative and will step in and speak up.>Someone who you could also consider your best friend.>Someone who challenges you to be better and likewiseSo here is how my day went as a married guy. >Off today. Wife and daughter have homeschool. >Oldest son politely asks to stay home this morning. His grades are good enough. He works and has extracurriculars. Agree.>Sleep until 11. Take dogs out. >Chill on bed until 3>Fuck wife. Then decide we need to run and drop off some shit at goodwill and run to the grocery store. >Kids playing games in livingroom, we wanna stay home. 12/17yr. Sure . If i call, you answer.>Anytime kids aren't around, Wife ditches underwear. She goes commando in her hoodie dress. >We get the few things, grab the kids some drinks.>Grab sushi just for us, sit in the car eating it. >Come home. Everything is exactly where we left it. >Currently: Wife and I pay wow (its her favorite, I can take it or leave it) >I'll get a shower in a bit, she'll be on her knees later for me and I'll pump a load into her. >Watch some anime togetherTypical Tuesday night
I only love two types of womenLocals and foreigners
>>83283881yeah, think i could. honestly sex is overrated outside of when its done with someone you trust wholeheartedly, so if this person was a perfect match then it would probably be hard, but there are other ways to show and receive physical compassion. cuddling and affirmations is always pretty cool, and even if youre a sex pest who needs their dick scratched to function, im sure that this hypothetical perfect partner would find some means to indirectly help, be it sexy photos or other forms of masturbation assistance.
>>83283881i just think sex is a part of relationships
>>83283946Nope, by not getting laid but also never providing women with attention, resources and when shtf protection.My coping is that they have their shit and I got mine, they can keep theirs bc im not exchanging mine for theirs.
>>83283881love is a jewish psyop to keep the goyim breeding. True love does not exist, you'll get bored of them, annoyed by them, wonder endlessly about what could've been if you'd taken a different path. Couples stay together past the age of 30 because they know that dating at that age is hard, because they're familiar with one another, because finances are tied together and because of children. You will never feel for anyone with a greater intensity than you did before you had your first real relationship and then realized that love is not like it is in books or movies or whatever. It's a combination of mutual work, the hormonal drive to reproduce and the fear of going back to having nobody in your life you can lean on.
>>83283881Nope, sex is an important bonding ritual. I am find waiting until there is love for sex but one we are in a committed loving relationship I expect sex at least weekly.
>>83283968Yeah this should be obvious already. Everyone knows how important sex is but for situations like this they cope as if it's not that serious anymore. This cutting off and downplaying sex is a big reason I don't want to be in a relationship with women. Imagine being made to seem like some asshole or even possibly an abusive rapist if you want to keep fucking your own wife or long time partner. Fuck that shit. Even being the biggest fat talentless unlikeable gooning stereotype loser beats that fate easily. >>83283983Love in practice can be gay and retarded but the main things needed to make it legit in romance are simple. Care, compatibility and loyalty. Care as in recognizing someone's needs for good health as important and being able to help them meet them. If you can't care for someone sexually when it comes to relationships and people that are mostly inherently sexual then you can't love them like they're supposed to be.
>>83283983How did you meet your wife?? I feel like this might be one of those situations where you're happily married because your wife is such an oddity. Like, there aren't enough women like her to go around for the average guy to find lasting happiness.
>>83284067It's not just about having kids though. The only reason "true love" doesn't exist is because people are stupid, lazy, selfish liars.
>>83284067>love is a jewish psyop to keep the goyim breeding.It seems like it's failing then
>>83283881i manage without having sex with anyone. If we are good to eachother then sexlessness will bear little negative impact on my life.too bad few other gays share my view.
>>83284067so youre saying you can't be friends with anyone for 30 years? Or house/roommates with someone for that long?Even if love and sex wanes, there are other things in life.
>>83283881>love>blood family, siblings, the fuckin brosThe philosophies behind what exactly is love is vast and deep. That being said, no. Love expressed physically and carnally cannot be replaced. It's something you cannot do with the aforementioned parties in the green text.
>>83283881is she fine with me having sex with other women?
>>83284179This bends ther premise of "otherwise perfect partner" but imagine she wouldn't since I assume most anons would be offended if they're wife asked for an open relationship with them
>>83284126You manage but op's scenario not only implies you still have a sex drive but you were already having sex for a decade when she randomly decides for both of you there will be no more sex. Saying having a problem with this is gay is even dumber than you types saying cleaning your filthy ass is gay.
>>83284210>not willing to support my sexual desiresyeah no I would prob cheat or break up with her, if shes my wife she would know how I care about wanting to experience sex more and is denying that aspect of me, aka not loving me
>>83284097We met in highschool. She was in a relationship when I stepped in.
>>83284231We stared talking, then I had her breakup with her boyfriend, then we started dating
>>83284231>We met in highschoolDude it's so fucking over for every anon here
>>83284224There's no point to cheating but breaking up would probably be best. Maybe you could try fixing her hormones first to see if that does shit but if not then there's not much else to do. People usually drag their feat with lifestyle or diet changes. Off the top of the head things like boron and avoiding birth control can help with hormones.
>>83284210>implies you still have a sex driveas said, I'd be happy to sacrifice sex, even if I have a sex drive.>Saying having a problem with this is gay is even dumber than you types saying cleaning your filthy ass is gay.All I said was that most gays like myself just want sex. I didn't imply that wanting sex made you gay. Sorry if that wasn't clear.
>>83283881>What is love to you? Selflessness and sacrifice, an effort, compromise, good chemistry. I have never been in a relationship before, let alone a successful one, so I don't know what relationship is or what love is. >Would you be okay never having sex again? You can love them for the person they are and also want to fuck them. If you're an adult in an adult relationship with another adult, sex is a big part of the relationship. With no option to have sex, you're basically really good friends or roommates. Not a full relationship. It would be difficult and wouldn't work out.
>>83284278Maybe you'd be happy but most others probably wouldn't and there's not much reason to be. It did sound like you were calling it gay as insult but this also isn't just a problem with gays. If your relationship doesn't involve sex it's just a friendship you could have with anybody, and it's a lot worse if you were already having sex for so long before having it cut off. Sex is a unique form of bonding and important in the right context.
>>83284248The first few years of our relationship were hell. After I dealt with our issues, the relationship got infinitely better.
>>83283881>Could you bear it if one day your wife of 10 years said she never, ever wanted to have sex again? I want you to consider this seriously.I already think I've considered this much more seriously than you. This scenario implies that my wife is expressing extreme disinterest in me after ten years.And then, when people describe this issue but fail to explicitly call out your lack of consideration, you can fall back to your pre-prepared motte-and-bailey of "See! You only care about sex!"Forget sex. This hypothetical of yours is about losing something that is essential to the health of even platonic relationships: reciprocation.If you actually wanted a logically consistent hypothetical, you'd come up with a scenario where one or both parties are required to be celibate through outside forces, or gradually lose interest in sex in old age.
>>83283881im a wizard, so my opinion shouldnt really count for much, really, as im so segregated from reality that you might as well be asking a schizophrenic on aliensbut since you asked, i want a harem cuckquean gf. i want to bully her, get her self-esteem down and love bomb her and slowly get her sexually excited with the idea of her bullying other girls, other girls bullying her, and me sleeping with all sorts of different womeni think sex is a vital integral part of a relationship, and if a girl isnt into ANYTHING sexual its not really a relationship, i dont think. even if she isnt willing to have sex with me, i think its okay if she is okay with me sleeping with other girls and encourages it, and participates in fantasies where we mutually masturbate about it, in various scenariosi think sex is something you explore with your partner, and you should get your fantasies and dreams to come true. thats my intuition on the subject>but anon that will never happen for you thats chad only keep dreamingyeah exactly thats why i prefaced all of this with "well, my opinion shouldnt count for much"
>>83283881I don't even know what the fuck love is. I've never felt it. All I got was those butterflies in the stomach during the puberty years but that's not actually love. I'm 35.
>>83284503>i think its okay if she is okay with me sleeping with other girls and encourages itBesides the obvious coomer fantasy, why stay with her after you find another girl that fulfills your sexual needs? Just to get an excuse? If the roles were reversed, do you think you should encourage her to seek other men while staying in a relationship with you? Would divorce truly be worse than having to constantly deal with that?
>>83284628>why stay with her after you find another girl that fulfills your sexual needs?because sex is not the be all end all of a relationship?its important as two people explore what makes them sexually satisfiedbut i want to be with someone emotionally as well. i like romance and having a girl fall in love with me and making her feel speciali want ghislaine maxwell gf. give ghislaine gf hueee T_T>If the roles were reversedid leave. i dont like thatif the girl isnt okay with that she can leave. bye byeid much rather be alone than be a cuck
>>83283881I wouldn't mind and I would probably feel the same. I think both of us being celibate would increse our love for each other because the thing that connects us is spiritual and not just physical. I know it's fantasy and delusion but this is how I see love and when I hear a person say they couldn't wait for their partner for a few months or years it disgusts me. What does it say about the relationship and the person if they are so quick to leave you and move on to someone else if you can't see each other for some time?
>>83283881Not a fair question to ask here because if you said yes she would just BPD react and go off on how you're a faggot, wasn't attracted to her in the first place, or any other multitude of garbage
>>83284628>if the roles were reversednta but this preface always relies on an assumption of egalitarianism between the two parties which is very silly because the relationships between men and women are anything but egalitarianYea if the roles were reversed most guys wouldn't like it, guys aren't women and women aren't guys
>>83283881the capacity to self sacrifice for the other
>>83284772Who hurt you Mike
>>83284873When every test is just a more extreme version of the previous test because you did not fail the one prior at some point everything is just a test >Who hurt meThere are ways in which I act, things I do, things I respond, things I believe but don't want to and don't align with my heart that are nothing like I was years ago. I'm not going to give a time frame but it wasn't that long ago really
>>83284906shut up you annoying normie cuckur takes are shit and you are annoying. i havent heard a single person every say you are likeable; you are a annoying attentionwhore with shit takesstop tripfagging
>>83284932If I said I understand why you're upset that I have experience with girls and you don't then it comes across as pompous so I will not say that
>>83284955>Mike>Shutting the fuck up and not saying something>EverHaha good one Kichael
>>83284961Kaye
It is caring enough for a person to the point you'd sacrifice yourself for them.At a point I realized that women don't even really have the capability of feeling that and the rest of life has been in a big way just the attempt to ignore this funny little fact and the implication it has on all of human history.
>>83284666Knowing your partner doesn't want you like you want them and is leaving you hanging dry for that long causes physical and mental damage. Months to years of this also isn't "quick" or loving. Satan trips are fitting.
>What is loveA conscious decision between 2 individuals to work through things together and stick with one another so long as they live. Often comes with warm feelings but normies confuse the feelings/emotions for the action of love itself when that is not the case.>Could I do a sexless marriage?I pray I will never be in the situation where that would show up as a possibility, my drive is high and I want passionate sex with my theoretical wife well beyond 10 years of marriage. I'd likely end up gooning much as I do now and I think that would be sad. I wouldn't leave her, especially if we have kids, unless she cheats.
>>83283881>Could you be in love with someone without sex being involved?that obviously depends like anything else in life>Could you bear it if one day your wife of 10 years said she never, ever wanted to have sex again?no because that's extremely insulting, i doubt she'd take it well either if i called her an ugly disgusting slob who i could never have sex with
>>83283881>Could you be in love with someone without sex being involved? Could you bear it if one day your wife of 10 years said she never, ever wanted to have sex again?No. I have a low sex drive, but I need a nonzero amount of sex.
I could not be in a one sided relationship with a woman I love but who does not love me back. If she doesn't have sex with me she is sinning and that means going straight to hell when we die. Due benevolence is an essential part of marriage. Love is a choice a couple makes and the wife has to always submit to and obey her husband. If she doesn't want to have sex, and then denies her husband sex, she doesn't love him and is failing in her duties. Maybe he gets tired providing for her, or letting her live in his house, or letting her live at all. He doesn't feel any animosity towards her, it's just like putting a sick animal down. An uncomfortable act of compassion. It might even hurt a little, but it's better than letting the sickness progress and fester. At least this way she dies before managing to poison the good memories of their life together.
>>83283968/thread>>83283881I feel completely unloved and like an emotional lapdog in a sexless relationship. I would very much know since i am currently experiencing it.My gf only fucks me once a month and basically called me a beta bucks provider.At the beginning of the relationship she used to have a lot of sex but then a switch flipped after a month or two and the sex fell off hard.Pic very related
>>83285706>dating a smokerasking for it
>>83285723She's talking about weed so it's even worse than you think. Also normally stoner girls are known to fuck a lot but I don't even get that out of the deal
>>83285706Why not have a candid conversation with her where you explain sex is an emotional need men have and she doesn't have to be into it, but that it is vitally important to feeling loved and appreciated?She can either reject the idea that a man in a relationship could have needs and should have their feelings considered, or you can discuss how to fix the problem. In the case of rejecting the premise you can ask if she will admit to being a manipulative, abusive, leech, or what she considers the arrangement to be. Absolutely critical that you stress she is honest and doesn't resort to made up bullshit trying to set the stage where she's the victim in all of this. If the refuses to follow the simple instructions at least you know she doesn't even consider you worthy of having a single honest conversation. She had a chance to explain herself.If she doesn't reject the premise then it should be easy enough. Explain you want her to be your exclusive sexual outlet, so when you need it she fulfills. Maybe give a clinical description of what this look like since women typically lack an imagination. e.g together in bed, sexual desire is expressed however you usually do that, then it progresses to a sexual activity culminating in your orgasm and ejaculation. You could even provide on how long intravaginal ejaculatory latency is. Many studies show this is around four minutes. She hears coworkers and TV bragging about having sex nonstop for 28 hours every night and probably has a skewed perspective of how much time you are asking from her. When she learns it's only ~1hr a month maybe she will be more open to the idea. While doubtful, if she did somehow have a valid reason for refusing sex now is a good time for her to discuss accessibility and accommodations. Did her lower half get removed and she no longer has a vagina? Hormones so it's alway dry and painful? Frequent utis? Now you can agree on adaptations. She's got a mouth and butt, can use lube on her pussy, etc.
>>83285822I have tried to have similar conversations and she always acts like a victim. Currently doesn't want sex because she is self conscious about her pussy smell. I told her I dont give two fucks about that and she says "I know you don't care but I DO." Conversation over. She will say many different things for why we aren't having sex.I am finally getting her to try and drop her SSRIs which kill her sex drive though. Also she's a feminist, she would NOT be down with free use type agreement
>>83284299it sounds like our definitions of relationship are very different.For me, a requirement for a relationship is devoutedness. I must be devout to helping my partner in their life as they unto me, and happiness will follow from this. Romance is secondary and sex tertiary.Romantic and sexual attraction will fade over time; one day, none of us will look so pretty and eventually our surpises and gestures will become routine to our partner. So we should just dump our partner the second they stop being fuckable, and go bang someone more fresh right?Or maybe we should understand there are things more important and longer-standing than earthly pleasures.TLDR: if sex is necessary to you then you're too hedonistic for your own good.
>>83283881>what is love to you?a buzzword used in throwaway lines
