>over one year in therapy>she gave me a "self-care assignment">couldn't think a of a single self-care activity or something that I'm grateful for>session devolves into me revealing about sex scares me, how I mistreat myself so much that I created a bubble to maximize my misery; >>isolate myself,>>being a cheapskate, (never spend a single dime into anything fun, only hoard my month to month paycheck and pay the bills)>>fill my freetime with distractions, (do nothing that give me satisfaction, only shitposting and doomscrolling)>>force myself into hardwork that ultimately just stress me out>highly self-judgmental, nothing is ever enoughNobody can treat me worse than myself. I literally managed to create the perfect system to maximize my misery in all ways possible. God, that session was so emberassing when I revealed my fear, I couldn't even look her at her face. Fuck me.No, I don't want to have sex with my therapist. fuck off
This one time I made an appointment with a therapist because I was really depressed. Ended up not going, decided to look her up online a few days later. She was some stacy whore with lots of friends and probably got passed around in college by tons of Chads,I could never go to a shrink. They're a scam.
>>83294414What do you think you're in therapy for? Do you think you're in therapy because you don't have problems? Nigga you're on r9k. Half the niggas in here need therapy. Real talk.
>>83294414How did she respond to that ?
>>83294429I'm not bitching about it, it's part of the process. But it was one of the most embarassing experiences and the worst session I ever had.I've told her that our sessions are like "self-immolation", I always leave her sessions BAW.Worst thing about it, I have nobody to talk about this and all my baggage, the only places I have is fucking here and her. I need so much of a person in my life that I can trust it's unbelievable. >>83294439She did her therapist job and tried to find the crux of my fear. The ultimate solution was to face my fears.>>83294428I highly recommend tho. If you think you know yourself, you doesn't.
is the goal to quit 4chan forever something that occasionally crosses your mind?
>>83294461It is difficult, it is hard, it can be painful. You're in therapy. It is okay to bitch about it as long as you are eventually working towards something productive. Man, we're on r9k. We all have issues. At least you're in therapy for your problems. I'm not qualified to be your therapist or help you with your problems. I have had sex with prostitutes and casual empty sex wasn't any better than complete avoidance of sex.
>>83294479Always. But that session made me realize why I distract myself so much and seek out escapism.To avoid myself. Since I treat myself so badly, my brain ultimately seeks out ways to completely 'numbfy' me from any experience that might make me remenber about myself. All the escapism I seek is completely removed from relatability and self-identification. It's a way to avoid the pain.I seriously can not understand how did I got to this point. I self-sacrifice myself in all the ways possible, I'm a people pleaser, I even hide my pain from other people so they don't be bothered by it.>>83294483This is mostly a vent thread. I wish I had someone in my life to talk about this, but all I have is r9k.
