>act nice/passive>people think im some faggot who's kind to everyone and does no harm>sensitive faggots start approaching me>im actually bitter on the inside and start hurting them>i act like a loud asshole>everyone thinks im made of steel and can take a verbal beating since i act like a dick>they start being an asshole to me back>im actually a sensitive faggot who doesn't know what to say back so i run awayis this what it's like to be a BPDemon?
>>83295076no. maybe. maybe stop being a fag
>>83295162BOO HOO HOO! YOU ARE TOO MEAN TO ME
>>83295176>meannot yet
Grow some thicker skin then start hitting people with that deadpan look
>>83295076Probably, you definitely sound like a manipulative asshole who exploits weakness and can't stand being put through what you do to others. Lots of manipulative people are like that.
>>83295184it's fucking stupid, but i just don't have thick skin. ive always been a faggot who is too easily hurt and unable to come back from the slightest insults, even though i like to larp as dick who doesn't give a fuck, i actually very much give a fuck. would like to be able to not give a fuck one day though>>83295187would be manipulative, if i had anyone to manipulate that is
>>83295205You are such a catty gay guy. Don't even have an insult just let thing's go it gets easier to ignore people
>>83295257am i a catty gay guy? you might be confusing me for the togatafag over at the cutting threadalso most of the time im just boring as fuck lolyeah no can't let it go im just too much of a faggot even if i try to resist i cant
>>83295285idk what a tomocatchi thing is man but both of yall probably act the same.You will get used to it, just give it time. Do something that burns you out enough to not care
>>83295302nahhh dude nahhh ive been going through insults all my life and my skin is still thin as hell. it just doesn't grow. other people have thick ass skin but my skin is SHITi mean maaybe it's slightly better now but just the other day i was feuding with some discord niggas and they started throwing stupid ass insults at me and i didn't even know how to respond so i just seethed and went off the site
>>83295313First of all stop hanging around douchebag retards and you'll feel better.Second of all, I don't know
>>83295330not even douchebag retards just everyday people, especially my kin (zoomzooms)
>>83295205>but i just don't have thick skin. ive always been a faggot who is too easily hurt and unable to come back from the slightest insults, even though i like to larp as dick who doesn't give a fuck, i actually very much give a fuck. would like to be able to not give a fuck one day thoughlmao this is literally me. i act aloof but i hang on any insult i receive for years, and i find rejection so crippling that i just don't engage socially at all.
>>83295337>Feuding with discord peopleAlr, well, two comments in this thread and I'm out. Help yourself, no one else can even if they wanted to.
>>83295344lolits irl as well btw>>83295342literally so true worstie
>>83295313>feuding with people you will never meet irlTake a break from the internet son
>>83295368and do what? do nothing and talk to nobody? i have no friends yanno, WOULDN'T YOU GUESS
>>83295395>do nothing and talk to nobody?Sounds like a step up from arguing with faceless strangers online all day.
>>83295395Go for walks out in nature, take a book and go read somewhere quiet. Better to do that than let internet people mog you
>>83295467I walk outside for like 5 hours everyday, i listen to music and read mangai have nothing better to do as a jobless bum>>83295449i can't literally not talk to people all the time though that's suffering. and it's not like im arguing all the time either. except i only kind of am rn with you guys
>>83295483Then take some fucking agency over your own life already instead of acting like a helpless woman. My fucking god. Do you really expect that life will just happen if you sit on your ass behind the 'puter and wait forever?
>>83295498literally what the fuck do you want me to do here then? im here to complain and i don't expect my life to change anyway. im a pathetic spergtard and im gonna die such. wow. big deal. ive tried every trick under the book but none of these are gonna fix me being a fundamentally sensitive little retard. wow. you should honestly kill yourself as well for being so retarded. what does this matter to you anyway
>>83295520>wehhhhh life is so hard and nothing works because everything outside is scawwy and eepy wehhhhh>but YOU should kill yourself because I'm a butthurt toddler wehhhhLmao stay frustrated and unfulfilled until you die then. You completely deserve it.
>>83295530we all die. im gonna die, you're gonna die. none of this shit matters anyway. if i decide to be a retard, ill die. if i live a good die, i die.though methinks you should try to kill yourself as soon as possiblehey at least i didnt chicken out this time though so applaud me
>>83295539Don't give retards your energy besides telling them to fuck off after saying your peace. This is the lesson in question; interacting with some brainless retard and somehow letting the things they say bother you.
>>83295539>guys I made this thread because I am desperate to make a change because I feel so bad wehhhh>it d-doesn't matter anyway KYS WEHHHHHLmao no wonder everything you attempt automatically fails because you're such an enormously spineless little bitch.
>>83295549yeah butthat's actually what i usually do LMAOso shouldn't it be good that im hashtag fighting back im hashtag growing thicker skin and hashtag healing
>>83295561>I'm growing thicker skin by immediately folding and chanting KYS over and overHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS FUCKING RETARD REALLY MEANS IT
>>83295559uhh im better than you and the other gay said you're a brainless retard so lol? lol
>>83295561Well here's a technique for you: everything this raging turd colored anon is saying is projection about himself. That should make this easier. You'll know if you've been reasonable and rational enough when he starts fantasizing about Zeus fugging him raw or whatever, I don't know. Basically, the dude is obsessed with penises.
>>83295575Yup, everything said that makes you feel uncomfortable because it hits close to home MUST be projection! After all, desperate delusion is the only shield available for the fragile basement dweller.
>>83295575hahahahahaha you go man go dunk on him dunk on my hateryou're right though im too retarded to see it usually but these motherfuckers usually insensitive ass retards like why would he be getting so riled up over me being a faggot loli think if i was less retarded enough to not take these people seriously id have much less of a problem
>>83295569>the other gay
>>83295581Speaking of which, did you clean down there today? Your mother and I have been smelling something foul. You really need to take better care of your living area, we didn't raise you to be a pig.>>83295584He probably wants to suck your dick bro, watch out, these zesty ahh niggas will put on a wig and White Chick you before you can say CITRALINE
>>83295597that was retarded but i wheezed
>>83295575>>83295597The peak irony here is that you're literally the only one itt raving about cocks while projecting it on the person making you butthurt. I shouldn't be surprised though since you type like an Indian.
>>83295614at least im not the target of the argument lolmao siiiiiip
>>83295076This is more a sign of vulnerable/covert narcissism actually.I am somewhat similar to you, but I only act like an asshole on 4chan. irl and talking 1on1 on Discord I am not an asshole in the slightest.
>>83295631Instead you're a loser who feels the need to avatarfag in his own thread because he's just that devoid of human interaction. Hahahahaha.
>>83295614Really weird considering you've been sucking this dude's dick the entire thread in between gasps of breath like "ha~ha~ha I'm not gay though you fucking faggot ~ GLKGLKGLKGLK"That's you, "Chad." That's what you sound like fixating this much over other men. You are a faggot. >>83295608Did you dip your nuts in watermelon juice or something? This dude is HUNGRY for your nutsack.
>>83295639>T. The bigger loser still interacting with the person they have such a massive crush onYou strokin your shit right now faggot nigga bro?
>>83295637yeah i actually might kind of be a narcissist lmao not sure if that's just my nature or because i used to get beat or yelled at but nevertheless i never admit wrongdoing except when i can whine and dump my problems onto othersi can't talk to people 1on1 most of the time sadly cause they're boring as fuck and im boring as fuck
>>83295640wowok that might be gay enough now
>>83295667Just gay enough to make the faggot fuck off and go jerk off in his cuckold corner with a dunce cap on.
>>83295661But on some real shit, you have to break those shitty habits. Take some psychedelics alone, do some soul searching. You'll be alright. People typically grow out of these feelings and thoughts as they mature. Not sure how old you are regardless, but basically, my advice is just brace yourself and don't life buck you.
>>83295706you truly are my saviorthey should make a movie about you
>>83295716>take some psychedelics>>take some psychedelicswow ok what a jumpnot sure i want to though some people are legit fucking schizophrenic in my family if i take it im on a one way lane to hallucinations landalso to be honest looking at my 56 years old mom doesn't look like that's guaranteedyou're right to some extent i guess but i feel like everytime i try to be good i get punished so i have nothing to do but act like a dick
>>83295724The only reason I commented at all in this thread was because I saw you being treated unfairly, otherwise I would have left you to your own devices because there's really no advice to give besides take your time and chill out. And even that doesn't really work because I know how the brain can operate and go off track in situations of distress. You'll figure things out, just try to be positive.
>>83295744to think anyone would wanna have empathy for me what a conceptthey don't cut everyone out like you these days thanks for sticking for me if tho Gbut i wouldn't necessarily say that ill necessarily figure everything out because that's life you know. some things are just never meant to be known. but maybe ill find my happiness before i scatter into dust, hopefully soon, but everyday looks more and more grim to me
>>83295738When I did psychs I thought it broke my brain, but after working my way out of abusing LSD for a couple years I came to realize I was always damaged like that and the psychs just put everything in the spotlight. It's like the brain is always trying to trick itself into thinking it's okay, when it is not. LSD disassembles that barrier.I know that feel too, but it should never stop you from trying to be better than the you from yesterday. It's really gonna be baby steps working through your mental health your entire life, and you should see that as a good thing too because very few people have the capacity for that level of introspection.A few days ago an anon was talking about quitting drinking, so I told him to just stop for a day and see how he feels, and to try to go one more day after that, and so on and so forth. The same theos applies to your mental health and behavioral patterning. Tiny little fixes, day by day, not hurting or rushing anything. Just being. Very difficult.
>>83295770I try to have empathy for most people unless I'm splitting the fuck out in which case, shit I apologize to anyone who has to be in an 80 mile radius when I blow up. No single person hates that in me more than I do; I really, genuinely, fucking hate being wired this way so I know how difficult it is to escape these pitfalls your brain sets for you to stumble into.All you need to know is yourself. The external world really does not matter. Besides, only what is inside is truly pneuma.
>>83295781they wrote a book about this you know it's called atomic habitsi guess you're right maybe potentially but then where would i even start there's so much shit for my retarded brain to take care ofi wish i could just take LSD like you did and realize my problems like that
>>83295808then we are somewhat both alike you knowfrom one real g to another i guess
>heh that other guy is gay because [very specific fantasy involving a myriad of cocks and gay acts]people on this board really are stupid as fuck goddamn
>>83295811Nah doing that fucked me up for a long time, LSD only showed me shit but it still fucked me up. It was my mind and willpower that pulled me out of that crap. I really shouldn't recommend it, but it was kind of my nuclear option when my mental health got really bad in my early 20s. Definitely a last ditch effort and it could've just made me worse, frankly, I got lucky. Don't follow my advice actually.>>83295826For sure.>>83295860Oh no, the faggot is back. Fine, faggot, you can suck it again but only one suck this time, okay?*Begrudgingly pulls out cock*Make it quick I don't want my wife to see
>>83295917yeah i probably will never take LSD anyway because it's scary as shit and im scared of getting hallucinations and losing control of my reality and my very own mind subjecting me to it's horrorsbut i guess i can try meth
>>83295917>you are gay because I can't stop thinking about dicksyeah you should totally double down lmao. I'm so happy that braindead shitskins like you will never reproduce or even know the warmth of another person.
>>83295936Oh wow the turdie is projecting again, did you get back from whacking your 2 inch pecker in the dunce corner, faggot? Had to come back for round two? Lmao, for someone so bothered by gay shit you really came crawling on all fours to get it again, kinda gay bro.>>83295933Kek speaking of jumps, never touch meth that shit is beyond retarded. LSD is only scary if you mix it with other uppers or antidepressants. Frankly I stopped hallucinating unless I tried when I was abusing LSD, sometimes I still get mild serotonin flashbacks though and that's no good.
i hate the fine line of being a pussycuck and being an obnoxious rude retard. if someone takes advantage of me, and i push back, then they were "just joking" and im overreacting, but if i let them do whatever they want to me then im being a onionscuck
>>83295964I mean, you are clearly the one extremely bothered with everything homosexual since you literally can't stop projecting about it. Every reply you've written so far is a variation of a gay fantasy that you personally concocted, because you have dick on the mind literally all the time. The fact that you aren't even aware of this speaks volumes about you being a barely sapient shitskin mouthbreather and it makes me happy that you'll die young and unfulfilled.
>>83295984Lol okay anon, just remember every time you sperg rage in here for literally no reason, I've decreed by law that you are performing exactly one measured unit of a pp suck. So, as a faggy sperg rager who's performed hundreds of individual pp sucks in this thread, how am I the faggot again?
>>83295964i was joking i would never meth meself eitherok but now im interested what the fuck is seretonin flashback>>83295983what's with us fujimotoheads huhit sucks that we're too dim and socially retarded to be able to take advantage of people but are too bitter retard to revel in the kindness circlejerks of normies
>>83296019Good, because meth is fucked. Seen too many people ruin themselves over shit drugs. Decent people.Serotonin Syndrome. If you do LSD even one time on antidepressants (like I did accidentally the very first time I did it) it'll basically leave you with a permanent mood disorder and brain flare ups. Depending on the intensity serotonin syndrome can literally drive people to suicide. Me? I just sit and remember the vibes while my brain is slowly destroyed, kek.Yeah... Don't take my advice at all seriously what the fuck was I talking about
No that sounds like normal emotions to feel and reactions to have. BPD is like seeing demonic possession when someone like that is close enough to you. My family life and neighbourhood was very calm and safe so I was completely naive to the insanity of the mentally deranged. Still I have pretty low self esteem, much worse when I was younger so I was honestly scared to date a 'normal' chick with a 'normal family' like mine since I would need to meet and be in the presence of a good father who would see right though any veneer of confidence I can put on for women due to being blessed with good looks and height plus was very fit with a 6 pack at 14. Anyway I ended up chasing the love of a girl who was clearly mentally scarred even ignoring her closest friends advice to not date her because se wouldn't be good for me. Of course they were right even though we did end up in passionate teen love she could be so crule, so violent and hateful bursting into frenzies where if she was a man she'd have beat the absolute piss out of me.My 2nd gf years later was scary in so many unsettling ways. I felt like I was in the ocean being circled by sharks or like she was just evil and toying with me for fun before killing me. She'd have episode where she lost touch with reality hallucinaating whaaat she described to me as DPH trip (spiders everywhere including under her skin, demons she waaaas so frightned of which she sensed being in cetian rooms plus a otherwordly evil man who she saaid was burnt alive and has been tormenting her since she was young telling her to do straange voodoo like enethical things like killing a duck, I asked if she'd ever killed aaaanyone and her face waas full of gu8lt/shame but she didn't answer. So aall that is fucked but it isn't constant and she is/waaas very, very fun and accepted me as I was. The thing is she liked to mess with me either for fun or if I pissed her off.
>>83296043so seretonin flashback is seretonin syndrome and it just means you get mood swings and depression and shit? what does flare-up actually mean herei mean your advice is pretty good overall thooough
>>83296065 By messing with me I mean for example once she hid razor sharp hairdressing scizzors in her bed frame, acted all cute only to hold the razor against my throat when I was in a vunreble position, she once used an electrical cord as a whip seemingly getting a kick out of my pleas for her to stop trying to coax me into defendng myself so she could use any harm that might happen to her as fuel for sympathy or evidence for police if she ever wanted to take things that far. The worst were her threatening to have my family home burnt down after I ignored her for a couple of days (oh yeah, she was obsessed with me and extremely possessive). She was a stranger who I met on tinder and she had a LOT of stories about her old friends who were apparently degenerate meth addicts/alcoholics, the type to get banned from bars for breaking shit and starting fights who would happily burn down a house for cash or drugs. These people were real from social media but it's not like I met them to see how truthful she was about their depravity, Slowly she healed and became more normal than me. She was possibly using meth in secret but she slept a LOT, I think she was prescribed a bunch of sedative antidepressnts but decided to stop taking them so her mental health was shattered for a few months, or maybe it was being in love with me, she said I was the first person she ever truly cared about and perhaps the rush of oxytocin and other hormones didn't play nicely with her autistic mind. I've known her for 9 years, we were together for half that time like I said she's more normal than me now and I think she's waiting for me to catch up. Sometimes I remember the crazy times and feel disgust but I don't know if she actually did anything horrible, It feels like a weird bad dream. I can't imagine myself with anyone else, we're just get each other.
>>83296080 But in truth IDK if I love her or what my capacity for love is after my first gf, the 2nd does not give compliments which undermines my confidence but it's just hows she's wired.god damn I can yap, I hope someone finds my story useful
>>83295964>mild serotonin flashbackshow does that manifest itself?i've abused LSD this year and same as you i barely get any visuals anymore, but i've yet to get "flashbacks"granted I've never done very high doses, 200 was my go to
>>83296065that's why im taking LSD>>83296080damn now i know to never approach bad bitchesas if any bitch would approach me at all
>>83296119IM NEVER*****
>>83296079Honestly? I don't know. My brain gets feverish and I start "tripping" again but low-key. It's almost similar to a psychotic break, or mania. So whenever I have these flare-ups I go full BPD, schizo, whathaveyou. It's really pretty rough and alongside literal brain damage (kek) it really hasn't done me any favors in trying to make a decent life for myself.>>83296115Dunno, it's been a really long time since I've done LSD and I only get flashbacks rarely now. It's basically just a taste in my mouth and a feeling in my head sometimes.
>>83296179oh so i suppose thats what you meant by when you explodeso basically seretonin flashback you start actually full-on hallucinating? like you actually have a full on hallucination disorder?would you actually say your life is better now with this stuff to deal with lol
>>83296119If it was still legal to give your wife a pimp slap (not to injure just to retore senses) women wouldn't be so dangerous. Be careful, women are master manipulators and men (and women) have never been so at odds. You need to have more faith in yourself to get a gf. I know it's hard but its possible to feign confidence which will get you more attention which will feed real confidence. Start by making eye contact with attractive women when you're in a good mood it's powerful. (I assume you look after yourself and dress well, if you don't, start)
>>83296222im not interested in relationships rn anywaysi have too much shit going on and i don't want to have to share energy and space with someoneone day idk
>>83296210I mean, when I was using LSD I eventually stopped hallucinating completely when I used because I dosed so often and so highly. It's less visual hallucinations and more paranoia/distrust, which to the extent I genuinely believe some of the extremely negative mantras I for some reason subconsciously feel the need to drill into my skull as some faux pas self defense mechanism. It doesn't serve me and every day I distance myself from it more and more, but I'm still only inches away and the gravity is strong enough to still pull a fully grown man in effortlessly.Yes, my life is much better now. What do you think drove me to trying to break open my skull to find the key to freedom? [eScapeGoatZ]
>>83296119Also if LSD is leaving you bummed you need to work some shit out, LSD it a great tool, my best trips were 'bad trips' which were just difficult experiences full of emotion and decluttering negative thoughts. One in particular I spent most of on my bathroom floor in the dark letting myself go through the process. It feels like you've encountered an angel to me for the tailend of the trip. Plain trips feel like pure hedonism which gets boring compared to those , Too high of a dose and the mind bend makes it too hard to focus but it is exhilarating taking a heroic dose I must admit.
>>83296277sooo basicallyyou took so much LSD that you developed schizotypal personality disorder symptomsthat's interesting. and sad but interestingi think if i did it good chance i would end up fully retarded myself well thooough what sort of actionable changes did taking LSD and awakening help you make to your life?
>>83296302quite frankly what did your trips feel like? you actually saw shit in them? or was it just state of mind changes? brain stuff is so interesting to me. TELL ME MORE
>>83296324Basically. It just activated my already latent tendencies, which in actuality (heh, actualized) was exactly what I needed to be able to see these processes of my brain properly and examine them objectively.Now, realistically I should have been using shrooms or even DMT for this. But I liked the longevity of LSD. I like how it made my body tense and how it made my thoughts race. I liked putting that tiny little tab of paper on my tongue and then walking down to the river and just sitting and listening. Going to the gym at 3am with pupils the size of saucers and working out completely alone.In short, the only thing LSD gave me was a mirror into my own brain. During the period of me routinely using I was producing art, working full-time and always with an open clear mind, eating extremely well and exercising frequently. Now that I've been sober for years, I've regressed, but simultaneously I know using LSD again would just break me further and make me more dependent.If helpful, bureaucratic thought devils were drugs, they would be LSD.
>>83296338Oh and just to be clear; you are talking to two different people right now, but you're probably aware.
IM GONNA FUCKING KILL MYSELF THIS BITCH KEPT CALLING ME AND I LOST MY REPLY IM GONNA TAKE AN AK 47 INTO A MALL>>83296371so basically jungian terms it basically brought your shadow/unconscious to your consciousness and revealed your inner thought process, made you whole id ego and superego?and you didn't trip to hell and back during that time? did you see or hear things? did it alter your perception of reality or made you believe certain things or anything like that?>>83296379no! i did not know. who might that other be?
>>83296471>it basically brought your shadow/unconscious to your consciousness and revealed your inner thought process, made you whole id ego and superego? Yes, pretty much.>and you didn't trip to hell and back during that time?Ha never said that. Absolutely did.>did you see or hear things?Like you wouldn't believe.>did it alter your perception of reality or made you believe certain things or anything like that? It certainly made me believe in a lot more "cracked pot" conspiracy theories. What happens to the contents within a pot that is cracked? They spill everywhere.>>83296302>>83296222>>83296080>>83296065This ain't me just fyi
>>83296523i was aware lol that seemed like a very different personnice, im pretty much spot on thenso what kind of delusions or conspiracy theories to be specific? did you start chasing your friends because you thought they were jewspawns?
