Fembots, do you think you can be the place where your boyfriend can be vulnerable and won't be judged? A place where he won't have to pretend that he's unbreakable and unshaken by all the storms of this world? Or will you be a heartless person, just like everyone else, who'd mock him and push him towards a toxic archetypal hell?
>>83437861Fembots are leeches
Yeah boys crying is cute
>>83438689You sound cruel
>>83437861My ex boyfriend used to cry and complain to me all the time about stuff. He'd call me when he was angry, when he was sad, when he was sick, when he couldn't fall asleep. He broke up because he cheated on me
>>83437861Why ask? Do you expect them to tell the truth?
>>83438942Yes. If you're having a place to let yourself relax without any pretense, why won't you? Isn't that the point of having a relationship with someone? If not, then why bother? How long can you go on with just numbing yourself?
>>83438937That... Is... Horrible. I'm sorry. You just encountered the worst type. I hope you get a good one.
>>83438975Thank you, I didn't let it demoralize me, I'm sure a find a good guy in the future
>>83438996You will. You were good to your terrible ex and it didn't break you, so you'd get a good one who can actually value your emotional support.
>>83437861lol im not a therapist if he wants that he better pay up
man i don't even like bitching to my buddies, i'm not bitching to my girl about shit. it's sort of my job not to, even! i had fukken cancer this year (i'm good now tho) and i wasn't trying to bitch to people. i'm just like nah its no big deal i'm good.
>>83439045Cancer is a hard blow. How can you not depend or at least converse with your pals? Keeping everything inside could be hurtful. Your body is already suffering, at least give your mind some way to peace. Unless your friends and your girl are complete heartless, narcissistic fuckers there is no need to be so reclusive. Give it a go.
>>83439077>How can you not depend or at least converse with your pals? Keeping everything inside could be hurtful.i certainly can do this, and very occasionally have done it. it isn't as though i cannot. funny enough, i'm a failed (stalled?) shrink myself. no money for graduate school. but i'm in a mass tort right now against 3m/dupont so i might get a pile of shekels next year. here's hoping. >Your body is already suffering, at least give your mind some way to peace.nah, i got nuked real good with chemo so i'm nearly back to normal. i was stage 3B up in all my lymph nodes though. i think biggest tumor was 3cm? which thinking about it is pretty fukken big lol. only real lingering shit is my hands are FUCKED in the cold. circulation issue i think, not nerve damage. 20 mins without lined leather gloves in just 50F will fuck my shit up. >Unless your friends and your girl are complete heartless, narcissistic fuckers there is no need to be so reclusive. Give it a go.also funnily enough, i have historically and still currently been the person to confide in. good at keeping secrets, good at listening. i'm aptitudinally suited for it. but i can act as a "technician" on my own psyche, more or less. no need to burden others, ya know. it helps me to help. it doesn't help me to be helped!
I want to be vulnerable with a girl so bad
>>83439122You have the same mindset as I have. I also believe that the world doesn't owe me anything, and expecting anything while I have received, is nothing but wishful thinking and a bit selfish. I would rather listen and help than ask others for help, for they might be battling their own battles.>no need to burden others, ya know. it helps me to help. it doesn't help me to be helped!This is exactly how I feel about myself. It's difficult for empathetic people, understanding and absorbing other's pains, yet never sharing our own for some unexplainable reasons. I'm glad that you're good now. Take care of yourself man. You're a good person.
>>83439122>>83439211>i'm in a mass tort right now against 3m/dupont so i might get a pile of shekels next year. here's hoping.I hope it turns out in your favour.
>>83439045For a moment I thought I saw a chud
>>83437861Id like to hold him to my chest and let him cry. I used to hold my ex to my chest all the time when he was out upset. I really enjoyed being there for him and being someone he was vulnerable with.
>>83439440You are nice. Bravo!
>>83439440This is actually all I crave in life.
>>83440090I hope you receive what you want
>>83437861I want my boyfriend to dress up in cute skirts and I want him to cry whenever I cry, also he must never age, because with age comes change, so he must never change. His Suoy intake will be measured daily.
>>83437861sure but i don't have a boyfriend and won't anytime soon
im gay male so apologies if this doesnt pertain to the specific topic but i love when dudes are vulnerable enough to be openly bisexual. it is extremely appealing to be a dude who loses so much social power with normie women who get grossed out knowing her crush could be bi and yet still being true to the vulnerable parts of himself
>>83437861Women only want you to admit vulnerability about something that's aleady fixed. "I used to struggle with X, but I overcame it" is OK. "I struggle with X" is a turn off. This is of course offset by how attractive you are.
>>83437861I've never felt able to be vulnerable with anyone. Even when they're super sweet and understanding and seem to really love me, I just can't do it. There's always that feeling that they're going to use it against me, mock me, abandon me. I can't be weak or I'll be devoured. Which is ridiculous because I'm the least functional person I know. A complete and total loser even by r9k standards and it's not like I misrepresented myself to any of the people I'm vaguely referencing. I don't think there will ever be a time when I can actually share something vulnerable about myself, except here anonymously. It's such a cold existence.
>>83437861I can and made sure of that in my last relationship with a guy who was in a toxic one before. There were multiple times when I heard "you make me feel so safe","you give me do much warmth and peace", "it's incredible that I can be just open and vulnerable with you and you don't use it against me later". I had him sit on my lap and kissed his forehead when he cuddled with me. He ended up dumping me because he didn't feel the butterflies that he felt with his ex girlfriend and with a female friend that he had a crush on years ago.
im vulnerable. who wants to take advantage of me?
>>83441606Me but only if you have a foreskin so I can stretch it over the head of my dick like a chinese finger trap
>>83439485Thanks, I'm scared to give my heart away again and get taken advantage of but yearn to be someone's comfort and hold them close
>>83442563Easy fix just keep them in chastity. Or attach a GPS tracker to them.
>>83439032I feel.the same way with women to be honest
>>83442563Yeah, it can be difficult to do, but it will certainly make your relationship much more empathetic and fulfilling. Good luck.
>>83441551I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you find someone who can treasure you for your warmth and support. Good luck.
>>83441182It takes time, and I am quite skeptical about it too, but you can do it carefully. It can be a really relaxing experience, like you just unburden years of baggage. You just need the right person and the right mindset.
>>83441149Sadly it is true. Ongoing issues can be unattractive. But if you find someone similar to the Fembots who have commented about holding their partners during their hard times then it can be a good thing. Good luck finding the type you need.
>>83437861normally i'd ignore this thread but i had a relevant experience so i'll use it as an opportunity to vent:no matter what ANY woman says do not ever use her for emotional support she WILL abandon you and make up some excuse. just had a girl say "i'm suddenly so busy maybe we shouldn't see eachother anymore ah sorry for wasting your time" a week after i told her about my traumas after she insisted i tell her.women think they want to support a man, but they really don't. they just want an emotionless husk. if you take any advice on this godawful board to heart, let it be this post anons.
>>83441121No problem with your sexuality. But yes, coming out can gross out people, although I believe the people are being more accepting as they are themselves becoming more self aware about their sexuality. Without doing so one will just continue to hurt themselves by repressed emotional baggage. So yeah, it is appealing and very much necessary.
>>83443261If she left after knowing your pain, then it's better. A fakeass empathetic girlfriend is of no use. A hooker is better than that, if you just need physical warmth.
>>83443224I don't know what careful would even look like. I'm old. I've been alone most of my life. I don't know how to interact with people on that level. Meeting the right person for that seems impossible and even if I did, how could I trust them? Not to mention that the right person would have to patiently wait while I work through all my stupid issues. Why would they want to do that? I'm not particularly interesting, I'm a broken shell of a man, I have no money, no real prospects. All I can really offer is that I'm nice, but that's hardly a rare trait. I know this sounds really defeatist and bitter, but realistically I don't think it's going to happen for me. And that's ok. I used to this, it's not so horrible.
>>83443540What you are is more common than you think. People are boring. Not everyone is an interesting fellow. You must understand that your humour, wit or anything that you believe makes a person interesting could never match that of the people associated with them. I am funny, but I'm not Dave Chappelle, I am witty but I'm not Oscar Wilde witty. It just doesn't happen like that. And, you already know how even those seemingly interesting person are lonely, and had to go through dark times. Jim Carrey, late Robin Williams had those.Sometimes what you need is just to be nice and honest. That is all. Don't pity yourself, if you do it's over. Pity others, but never yourself. It would soon often feel like betraying your own self. Good luck.
>>83443631What I am is fairly rare. When I say I'm boring, I don't really mean my personality. I can talk to people and get them to like me. I can even be charming at times. My life is very boring though. There's no depth to me and I don't care to add any. Once you've known me for a month, you've pretty much learned all you're going to learn about me. I'm not really pitying myself here. Despite it all I enjoy my life. I'm just being honest. If I described my life, even people here would think I'm a loser. There's a disconnect somewhere between what people or society expect and what I want. The lifestyle I desire is the one I'm living so I feel fine, but it's very rare that anyone even understands how that could be. The only thing I'd really want is someone to be vulnerable with. Someone that I could actually speak to about how I am, how I think, and have them care on a real level and expend some energy trying to understand me. And I would reciprocate that of course. Maybe that person exists, but the odds of me finding them are low. I try from time to time, but it's just failure after failure. Well, I'm also kind of low lately, that's influencing these posts. Thanks for listening at least anon.
>>83443692To be without great ambitions and whatever society glorify in a man can be a challenging place to be in, as it alienates you, regards you as an outcast. To be honest, if you're comfortable where you are and believe it to be just right, no need to make efforts to come out as an approachable person, as this falsehood would soon die out. Chosen solitude or reclusive lifestyle has no issues to begin with. It's the general public that loves to make something out of it, both in positive and negative manner.Being low is normal, it happens. But there is no problem seeking out connection with someone like you. Detachment must not be confused with Escaping out of fear. Healthy detachment is good, even helpful. I hope you find connection, in love or in friendship, both are helpful.
>>83437861 growing up I was in a very matriarchal family and I was always told to tell how I felt about things and it is always ok to confide in friends and family. I was a very naive boy as things progressed and I did all those things making myself vulnerable. Lets just say I was used and abused for many years by friends and family. The few girls I thought they liked me actually did not like me. They just bullied me after I told them how I felt. They got their friends to spread rumors and other hateful things about me for years going through middle and high school. My heart is closed off and I no longer deal with anyone.
>>83444173Being open about yourself is a healthy practice. The fact that your friends and family are fuckers has nothing to do with it. The people surrounding you are just terrible. Being treated badly mustn't make you cold, for it'll be harmful for your own psyche. I'd rather advise not to open up to fuckers, don't present your vulnerability to inhuman scums who have no regard for it. Have good people around you.
>>83437861of course, that's the main reason I want to be in a relationship at allthough I might still act cruel because it's unbearably cute when they are in pain
>>83444725Some might enjoy a sadistic girlfriend but as long as it doesn't go pathological.
>>83444671You know whats so funny? Your hearts in the right place but the enviroment doesnt permit it. You idealists always make me laugh. The world does not, has not, and will never operate in a healthy fashion or way. Don't get me wrong, you're doing God's work here and never change. But the world won't, hasn't and will never either. At least not in the way you so fervently wish it would. Ever.
>>83444882Let's hope you meet somebody who's also wishing or at least trying their best to be good, despite the coldness of the world. That way, you get to be in that small world of warmth. It won't make the cold dissappear, just more bearable. You do not need the whole world to be kind, maybe a handful or just one person.And I'm not a preaching idealist, as expecting anything from the whole of humanity is foolishness. But, there's no harm in not becoming bitter myself. Humour is a great weapon against the out of joint world, try to laugh at the Abyss, maybe one day it'd laugh back.
>>83444725You have to balance out the abuse and the aftercare so he keeps coming back for more. in fact men will be more attached to the moments of love you give them if you intersperse them with moments of despair and suffering. Basically kiss him then slap him then kiss him again
