it's impossible to "love yourself". it's the most normie advice on the planet. you can't plant love in yourself, if needs to be seeded by other people like family, friends, lovers. other people reinforce it and help it grow. if you have nothing, there's nothing to love. anybody who ever gives this advice does so having known what it is to be loved, and should be executed on the spot.
>>83439702Love is a choice. People who've been married for a long time are considerably more likely to say so. Love exists through your actions. Your emotions are a byproduct. Love yourself = Treat yourself with the same compassion and helpfulness as you would your ideal gf. Notice it doesn't rely on your internal feelings. Love is work. (Work can be rewarding.)
>>83439702>>83439908Also, before some niggers purposefully misinterpret what I wrote, I distinguish between love and (sexual) attraction.
This is why you have to bee yourself
>>83439908>Love is a choice.I believe this, but most people aren't capable of making that choice, they'd rather take the easy road of finding someone new to give them butterflies.
Hate yourself.
>>83439908>>83439932>people who are marriedwow. people who have bonded and think themselves as soulmates have a voice on the topic of loneliness. fat retard who eats at a buffet every day talks about how it feels to go without ever eating in their life.>>83439956hate what i am as a reflection of how i am treated by others>>83439973>choose to uh just materialize something in yourself that all other recorded humans on the planet who aren't narcissists were given by others instead>>83440052your wish is my command
>>83439702You are the object of your self-love, not a subject. You don't need to feel "worthy" of loving yourself because you're the one to decide what is worth.The sooner you break the conditioning of lesser voices the more peace you'll find
>>83439702They say shit like this because they fit in and dont actually understand or care what you are going throughAs someone who has gone through this all I can say is that you should be yourself and do the things you like but prepare to compromise on a few thingsYou wont always love everything you have to do so you have to make the most of it and lots of things like physical fitness hurt but are worth itDoing this will make it hurt less when people are awful to you but I want to tell you that it will never stop hurtingSo you need to learn to live with that and keep looking for YOUR people
>>83440335>think themselves as soulmates have a voice on the topicnta, permavirgin here (I don't know why you find authorities important) and I'm my own soulmate
>>83440335When looking for guidance on a given topic, it is logical and useful to look at and emulate those who are successful, and to watch out for and avoid emulating those who aren't.People who think love is a choice and that its sustained existence depends on their actions are those that manage to remain married. People who focus on the feeling of love are those that are either forever alone or keep switching partners.But, hey, stick to your views; it's clearly working for you.
>>83440052yeah? will i become happy?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6O-dYcQoaew
>>83440426>>83440335you're both arguing about two different things
>>83439702You can just like, bee nice to other people and they will compliment you. There are low hanging fruits, go volunteer. Or talk to AI until you become schizophrenic and then you can be happy also.
>>83440500>Or talk to AI until you become schizophrenic and then you can be happy also.sounds like an unironic plan, what kind of retard takes the clown world seriously, after all?
>>83440480I'm arguing about the OP, but the OP is a retarded faggot that switched from "loving yourself is impossible" to "boohoo I'm lonely".
>>83440480>>83440555 cont.You know what? You're right. I am unironically too autistic to deal with this shit. I adressed what he wrote instead of trying to read into why he wrote it for him. He doesn't care about loving himself, he just feels lonely. I wish people who be more straightforward, but normgroids like him (yes you are one, OP, just a failed one) refuse to keep things simple for some reason.
>>83440555he seems to be unable to move past the "all the validation comes from the outside" so his only response is the unrelated incel babble
>>83440555>>83440608uhh, the point is that all validation of the self comes from external sources. when you don't have that, you are, alone. when you are alone, you are lonely. that is not a hard connection to make.>>83440612>incel babblebelieve it or not love comes from more than just a partner? there are many forms. >>83440544in a clown world only the jester is sane>>83440426>emulate those who are successfulfeel free to demonstrate completely isolated individuals who are able to "love themselves" without a degree of mental illness involved (narcissism, religion)>you see these people who eat all day know exactly what it's like to be starving. you can be strong despite having a massive caloric deficit. i don't have a deficit, but i'm strong! look at me.>But, hey, stick to your views; it's clearly working for you.sanctimonious retards love preaching about how its "just a choice" to perform reality bending feats of logic and behavioural change.>>83440424ur valid sis>>83440417>They say shit like this because they fit in and dont actually understand or care what you are going throughding ding, you are winner>prepare to compromise on a few thingstired of this! exhausted of it. it's all a cope in the end. fed ersatz food and sawdust for bread and told that "well, bread isn't that important anyway".>keep looking for YOUR peoplefinding someone you relate to doesn't guarantee they relate to you! world is funny how that works. so even if i find my people, doesn't mean they'll mutually provide validation and care either.
>>83440715>all validation of the self comes from external sourcesThe self is not a monolithic entity. You confuse your self for your faggot of an ego.
>>83440426Not OP, butI'm not sure if love/romance is really the right place to use the "emulate the successful" strategy given that modern dating is basically LLN on middle eastern combat uppers and is basically a game of luck that you cant play perfect. Moreover, as far as I know, divorce rates are falling among white westerners because they dont get married anymore.
>>83440747don't be an obtuse idiot arguing over semantics you insult the intelligence of us both
>>83440759You don't get it and that's why you keep hating yourself. Been there, done that, but don't learn from others.>>83440752It's just an example to make it more concrete. The same principle apply to friendship, family, and the self.
>>83440781>you don't get it and uhhhh no i won't elaborate further>you can apply these principles of "just copy others" when it comes to family too!delusional. get your head checked.
>>83440715>feel free to demonstrate completely isolated individualsif someone is completly isolated you wouldn't hear of him, anyway I don't get much affection from anyone in my life right now, unless you count my superiority complex over you as affection>mental illnessscary vocabulary but meaningless enough to not worry about it
>>83440781The stakes are enormous with romantic relationships. With friendships, family, the self, not so much. Many khhv have perfectly functioning social lives, family relationships, and overall aren't suicidally depressed or self-loathing, and will still die never having romanced someone. I'm exactly that guy, after all. The stakes simply arent the same in those departments, honestly. Any honest analysis of these social domains would agree, except from maybe people with genuine pair-bonding problems, who shouldn't be trusted, anyway.
>>83440814hello, i am isolated. nice to meet you. no, your delusional state should not be confused for affection. no, the internet does not fill the void of real human socialization.>scary vocabulary but meaningless enough to not worry about itvague hand-waiving to ignore a valid point.
>>83440840>vague hand-waiving to ignore a valid pointthe entire argument is about if it is a valid pointso far I've seen nothing to support that, which is even less than my own example
>>83440796I was literally typing more before you posted this. You sure are inviting constructive discussion. I'll try and get past your faggotry out of compassion for who I used to be, but this is the last I'll comment on here.How do you know if someone doesn't love you right now? Have you ever loved someone? Did they know? Did they really know the measure of your feelings for them?Even if you don't experience it, think about that other person whom you've loved. Where does their feeling of being loved would come from if they had it? From you or from them? That's what I mean when I say the self isn't monolithic.If the part of you that controls your actions acts with love towards you, the part of you from which the feeling of being loved come from will activate.>inb4: pure denial based on absolutely nothingChange your behavior and see for yourself or just keep treating yourself badly and feeling the way you do.
people have their own definition of what "loving yourself" means. it's a useless saying. most people who claim to love themselves actually love their life instead, which can change at any moment.
>>83440888well said, and nice numbers
>>83440873>okay so, person really isolated and having not felt external love, >think about those times you loved and were loved,comedy. you should get into stand-up comedy. worthless post. i'm sending you an invoice for the wasted electricity you used to display this text on my screen.
>>83439702You can love yourself but a lot of your self-worth is based on the opinions of others. It's only natural as social beings.
>>83440888I'm going to ask it:What is love?suck my dick, fagsuck my dick, fagno more
>>83440335You're a literal retard whose reading comprehension is on par with the average woman or even nigger.
>>83440888>>83440900i think this is accurate too. my therapist would say, "well just love yourself!" and i would say, "but how? love what?" and he would rattle off worthless achievements and accomplishments that mean nothing to me. "you did so much in life!" and it's like, yeah, but why would i "love" that? what he was really saying, is that he liked the "life" i had, outside the failed attempts at finding people to connect with.>>83440938>babble>wow you didnt understand my babble thats uhhh your faultpoor shepherd blames the flock>>83440921fell for it
>>83440904>Even if you don't experience it [feeling loved], think about that other person whom you've loved [without it being requited].If you've never felt love for anyone at all, then it's a different matter altogether. Also, I mean love in general, not just romantic love. When people say to love yourself, they don't mean to love yourself romantically.>>83440938You took the words out of my mouth.
>>83440966>When people say to love yourself, they don't mean to love yourself romantically.no, i would interpret that as looking inwards and seeing something in yourself appreciable, to be proud of, to care for and about. the opposite of looking inwards and hating everything that you see. you have to be an obstinate retard like yourself or a narcissistic idiot to think anyone can truly do that on their own without any positive reinforcement from outside sources, especially given most isolated people tend to be so because they've had overwhelming negative reinforcement in their life? do you think everything exists in bubbles and vacuums of positivity?even if i enter your fanciful world where i imagine being able to demonstrate positive actions of affection and care towards another person that was wanted and received, i can easily turn around and ask, where is that towards me? >How do you know if someone doesn't love you right now? oh, and i assume they're just waiting behind the bushes and will pop out soon? after i do some mind-bending change in behavioural psychology against all evidence otherwise? what's next. i need to get more haircuts and shower more and i'll find a romantic bond too? normie advice.
>>83439702'love yourself' is literal normie cope when they get on their billionth breakup or they can't pay the rent.try 'loving yourself' when you are autistic.self improvement is for losers either, therapy is for suckers.what you fucking NEED to do is accept you a loser and be done with it.like being tied by both legs and wrists and some terrorist cuts your throat, your natural reaction is to move and wiggle hoping to stop the pain, but it all leads to a very sad and painful death.
>>83441037I'd tell you to get a pet so you can better understand what love is, because explanations clearly don't work on you, but I'm afraid you would mistreat that poor animal and still never get it.In any case, the way out is the same, whether you understand why it works or not: take care of yourself as you would someone you love.
>>83441114i've had multiple pets in my life and "get a pet" is again dogshit normie advice that only reinforces the humiliation ritual of being so devoid of value that you have to find companionship in a non-human.
>>83441037>to think anyone can truly do that on their ownI'm under a strong belief non trivial chunk of these people are kept in this state for the sheer comfort that the self-pity provides. Tragic heroes of their made-up stories.
>>83441156Getting a pet was not the advice.
>>83441203Yes. OP's bad faith is clear indication that his ego gets off from that tragic self-narrative.
he's getting crankier by the dayi fear for christmas
>>83439702I love myself, I'd always choose myself over anyone else
>>83440715Nah compromise is good Crunch it this way1 out of 1 billion is just like you and will accept you with no changesOr you do something like workoutNow millions will relate to you on that 1 simple thing And on the your people partIt will never be perfect but you just need 1 thing to relate to so you can have a friendshipIf they dont want to go the whole hog thats on them not youMove on as that was just a potential friend not your people
>>83441228honestly this kind of tragism would make for a good story back when people were venting in longer forms than 4chan posts
>>83441422Throwback to Elliot Rodger's My Twisted World, kek.
I'm not smart enough to get all this discussion but I will say I kind of get the whole "love yourself" thing. You can stand alone without your life falling apart because of depending on someone else too much. You like yourself enough to improve your quality of life and health for yourself. These are healthier than depending on someone so much, your life collapses the moment they leave it, or hating yourself so much that you live in filth, don't bathe, and make bad health choices. Uh, something like that.>but what about the movies where the gruff old dude who smokes in his shitty apartment suddenly comes across this manic pixie dream girl who makes him get his shit together and then they live happily forever after?I dunno. Everyone is different I guess.
>>83441717Nah, you get it. OP is the one overcomplicating everything so as to avoid having to take responsibility for himself.
>>83439702>it's impossible to "love yourself".trvke beyond belief.you're doing good and important work, anon.
>>83439702I agree. No one ever loved me, not even my own family. How am I supposed to love myself when the whole world tells me I'm unworthy of it? How am I supposed to love myself when no one ever thought to teach me? Normies only say things like "you need to learn to love yourself" because they've experienced a baseline level of love. They've felt it for so long it becomes background noise to them, and they begin to take it for granted. If you're looking for life advice from normies, it's really your own fault. They're basically a different species.
>>83439702"On earth peace, good will toward men."Luke 2:14If God can have good will towards you, then that's someone. Merry Christmas.
>>83439702You will have a hard time explaining this to most people. Look at Harry Harlow's monkey experiment. It's true
>>83439702Do you like yourself? Would you be friends with a exact copy of you? If yes then congratulations you have self-love. If you hate who you are as a person that's a 'you' problem and probably because of your mother being a neurotic abusive asshole to you as a child. Literally nobody has ever shown me love in my entire life yet I've always loved myself and cared about myself because I actually like me as a person. You faggots just have issues you don't work on. Skill issue.
>>83441261come christmas i will steal your letterbox so that you can't get any important mail anymore. it will be over for you.>>83441363no, people like the image of yourself that you're compromising to create. it's not the same as being accepted for being ugly.>>83441451don't disparage saint elliot in this house. he was a visionary.>>83441717being hygienic doesn't mean you can see something loveable in yourself. depending too much for one person on it can be unhealthy as well, yes. ideally people have a few small strong sources to pull from (family, partner, close friend) and then acquaintances and other fulfilling social groups/experiences to draw down from.but the weak sources are worthless without the strong.>>83441783cute image. putting candy in your stocking.>>83442488that experiment is pretty brutal. the image of the wireframe always pulls at my heart.>>83442526>Do you like yourself?no>If you hate who you are as a person that's a 'you' problem.>You faggots just have issues you don't work on. Skill issue.okay, name what to 'work' on then. what's your sage advice.>I actually like me as a personoh, you're npd.
