I'm completely mindbroken by modernity but reality in generalanyone else? I'm 32 and my psyche is constantly right on the edge of completely disintegrating due to the insanity of life. There was one a time where it seemed like things had reason and made sense but those days are long gone. I am completely fried. I don't even know who I am anymore or what any of this is
>>83445873yeah same except im 22 and i think i will kill myself before i turn into something worse than what i already am
>>83445873>disintegrating I had that 10 years ago. I'm 31.
Same. I got sucked and rimmed by a transvestite for the first time last night and I still couldn't get raging hard enough to fuck.As if paying mercenary uncaring foids for disappointing sex and crap desensitised blowjobs was not bad enough.I guess I am just dead inside. I cannot get or feel sexual pleasure. My decades of otherwise inceldom (never having unpaid sex with a foid) has doomed me.
>>83445873>>83445965>>83446044>>83446227Why do we all have the same problems but each one of us is alone in it? We men need camraderie. That's the way out, wether we realize it now or in a hundred years
>>83445873Me too, and I'm only 18. Everything feels off around me. I often become aware of my own awareness throughout the day and suddenly reality will feel wrong. My existence does not make sense. I am in a constant state of dread and confusion. I lack all motivation. I don't even want motivation. I want to want nothing. But actually it is deeper than that. The fact anything exists at all scares me so deeply i dont know what to do. There is nowhere to run. I am so fucking scared that I will come back into a new awareness after I die ad nauseam forever.
>>83446907when I feel like that I just read the collected talks of linji yixuan or of bankei
>>83446227If you watch porn stop. Don't jerk off for a couple days leading up to the sex. Try to get into the moment, in your mind acknowledge their body and how good they look so you can turn yourself on.
Same. I'm giving myself over to gooning. If I'm not eating or playing vidya I'm stroking it
>>83445873Im 35+, i stoped caring about media, politics and almost all other society aspects 3-4 years ago. I still got an anchor that keeps me somewhat sane, I think many people do live for that certian something/someone because other parts of their life seems like a kafkesque nightmare. I know its not an easy feat, but at least try to find your anchor. Its not perfect, I still can get on the edge or lose myself to some addicting thing in favor of living everyday life, but at least its better than being fried or totaly dissociating fromthe world.
>>83447363I completely detached with no anchor. I see all forms of media as a fictional matrix. But I have no alternative solution. That's why I'm so insane. I literally ride my bike around screaming at random people and just get drunk alone in my room. Even video games are too zogged for me
I'm not sure I have the will or time right now to write as much as I'd like to regarding this, but I'll say that I've realized these past two months that I'm actually developing real mental illnesses as a result of my alienation, if I haven't already, that'll cripple me and prevent me from functioning in day-to-day life
