>Be me>Weird loser my entire life>People talk to me like I'm autistic, but at least I'm pretty smart>Get straight A's, desipite never studying and staying up till 2 am every night playing vidya>Go to college to be a civil engineer>Starts off easy>Grades start to decline>Start becoming paranoid of everyone>Have trouble focusing>Try to kill myself on a whim>Drop out and move home>Spend a year in and out of a psychward because of my unstable behavior until I sink into psychosis>Get diagnosed with schizophrenia>A shell of my former self with the combination of medication side effects and lingering symptomsI think I'll I keep pushing to get my neetbux and spend my life hiking and playing vidya. Maybe this is my way out of wage slavery, despite the fact that I'll probably live in poverty for the rest of my life.
>>83446585Do you hear voices, nonny?
>>83446607Yes, I still hear voices, but they're a lot less violent and commanding while on medication.
>>83446638I can't imagine how it feels to live with that. What kind of stuff do you normally hear, if you don't mind?
>>83446585I'm in a similar boat with psychotic bipolar, but it doesn't have to be the end of everything. I like what you said about hiking and vidya, I do similar things to pass the time. I used to play some FPS games, but meds have killed my reaction time. I'm playing through Fallout New Vegas for now, and I already bought 4 (and kinda started it) for when I'm done. What do you like to play?
>>83446585yeah mate schizophrenia symptoms can appear later in life. sorry this is your experience, but it doesn't define you and you still have lots of time. your straight A grades mean you can do it again.
>>83446700Before meds>Kill that dog. You need to kill that dog. It has a microphone implant connected to it's brain. They're collecting Intel on your behavior>That's not your real mom. It's doppelganger spy. She's poisoning your food.>Don't sleep. DONT SLEEP. DON'T SLEEP. They'll come for you in the night.>WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LIE. LIE TO THEM. They're going to poison you.After meds>Check the door.>Hello? Are you there? Hello?>Why can't I see you? I can't see you.
>>83446585You need Jesus, friend. He can free you from the torment.
>>83446734>Meds have kill my reaction timeThe fatigue is unbearable. It's hard to stay awake for more than 12 hours?>What do you like to playMostly horde shooters, like Darktide. I enjoy exploring warhammer lore. I've wanted to play Minecraft, but I lost my old account I've had for years, and now you have to make a Microsoft account. I just can't be bothered.>>83446770Thanks for the kind words. I've thought about giving it another shot. I made it surprisingly far, despite my declining mental state. The combination of symptoms and side effects it so debilitating that I'd probably only be able to work part time. Engineering is a demanding field, tho. Most work 50 hours a week. I'll most certainly be discriminated against if I reveal my condition. I'd like to make it work, but it seems like a pipe dream.
Are you at least still smart?
>>83448588I don't know. I tried the Mensa recently and got 135. My processing speed isn't what it used to be, and I've probably lost a few IQ points compared to my pre-illness IQ. Knowing I'm dumber now gives me impostor syndrome.
>>83449216>and got 135That's really good, especially for a slowed town schizo (no offence)
