Anyone else feel this sense of loneliness as Christmas approaches closer? Maybe you're spending it with loved ones...?
I don't celebrate christmas, read the two babylons by alexender hislop about how christianity is pagan, especially christmas trees.
i am spending the holidays this year the same as the last.alone.
>>83462915I feel like a lot of people don't really care about the history of Christmas and just use it as an opportunity to give gifts and spend time together with others... Do you care about it, anon?
>>83462929Nooo :(I hope /r0k/ gives you a bit of comfort. I won't be alone in the literal sense, but sometimes you feel lonely even when surrounded by people.
>>83462900no. im a wizard who doesnt have a family or friendseveryday is the same to me; nothing changes
>>83462940there is zero comfort to be found here. every day accumulates a bit worse than the last. my sleep is forever haunted by recurring nightmares.
>>83462943Have you ever tried going out and making some friends?I've tried that, but I only seem to make acquaintances and not really friends wherever I go. Well, maybe that's my fault for being lazy and not investing more into friendships. I still don't like the feeling of intruding into someone's life when they don't explictly show a lot of interest in me, though...>>83462959Could that have something to do with something that happened to you on this board?
>>83462969no, just the grinding existence of solitude wearing me down to dust over the years.
>>83462900I used to feel some loneliness or nostalgia or existential dread but this year I feel absolutely nothing at all. It will be just like any other day. I'll go to my parents to eat a nice meal and that's it. >>83462969To make real friendships you have to make memories together, share some kind of struggle and/or trauma. Without that it'll always be just fair weather "friendships" or more like temporary acquaintanceships.
>>83462982Anything you enjoy in this life?>>83462984>It will be just like any other day.You saying this makes me think that I'd probably feel the same if I just didn't compare myself to others. In fact, I probably felt that way in the past, even.>To make real friendships you have to make memories together, share some kind of struggle and/or trauma.How would you go about that in actuality, though? Suggestions would be helpful.Like I said, it might just be me being lazy, honestly. My excuse is that I'm still not quite sure of how friendships work so I'm observing the people around me to get a better picture right now. I've been too pushy in the past. Like you can't just invite people out to do things if they don't show any interest at all.
No. I wish I was alone during the holidays. I hate living with my dad. I gotta get a career so I can finally move out.
>>83463052I agree with you.Maybe if I moved out I'd have the courage to invite more people over...Are you working toward any particular career right now anon?Kind of infuriates me sometimes knowing that some people younger than me already have careers making six figures or something...
>>83463008>How would you go about that in actuality, though? Suggestions would be helpful.The only thing that kinda worked for me was MMO guilds, I ended up meeting people, getting a couple friends and even losing my khhv status and getting a gf (irl) for a few years. Meeting directly irl simply doesn't work as an adult it seems, if you're not conventionally attractive/neurotypical. I've joined martial arts clubs and hobby clubs but people there are generally not interested in making actual friends. Just exchanging pleasantries, small talk and then they rush home to their family, significant other, etc. So yeah my only suggestion is MMO guilds, since they have various flavors of neurodivergent people, nerds, losers, weirdos, people I can click with. I generally struggle to even make small talk with normies since I don't give a shit about sports, celebrities or fashion.It's also important to know if the person is interested or not in order to avoid wasting your time and energy on someone who will never reciprocate/never move things to real life.
>>83463074>Are you working toward any particular career right now anon?I dont know what to do honestly. Trades sounds nice on paper but I don't think I'm built for physical labor for +12 hours. Then there's community college (because I refuse to get into massive amounts of debt) but there's so many programs I don't know what to choose. >Kind of infuriates me sometimes knowing that some people younger than me already have careers making six figures or something...Most of the time those people either had wealthy parents with connections or knew what they wanted to do when they were kids. I was none of this.
>>83463092>So yeah my only suggestion is MMO guilds>so, get into something I don't even really likeYeah, it's over for me... though, to be honest, it's not like I haven't been broadening my horizons lately. Maybe I'll like something.What MMOs did you play?>I generally struggle to even make small talk with normies since I don't give a shit about sports, celebrities or fashion.Only thing I'm remotely interested in on that list is fashion, though I haven't actually started trying to buy better clothes.>I've joined martial arts clubs and hobby clubs but people there are generally not interested in making actual friends. Just exchanging pleasantries, small talk and then they rush home to their family, significant other, etc.Gosh, I've noticed this too! It's super rare to meet someone I actually want to connect with on a deeper level. Normie advice is that you make friends from places like these, but I think their definition of a friend is a lot looser. You know those people who call you a friend immediately after a brief interaction? Might not be anything wrong with that, but that's not what I'm looking for.>It's also important to know if the person is interested or not in order to avoid wasting your time and energy on someone who will never reciprocate/never move things to real life.This is a lesson that I am starting to learn.>>83463098>TradesI'm starting to hear bad things about trades, as if they were being overhyped all along. Bad pay, predatory practices, stuff like that. A bit more soul searching? When you close your eyes, do you imagine yourself working in any particular place?>wealthy parents with connectionsThat's a pretty important factor. It's really nice having parents that will fund an apartment for you and get you a six figure job.(1/2)
(2/2)>>83463098>or knew what they wanted to do when they were kids.I don't think that matters as much as being a passionate kid. While I was depressed and procrastinating on homework and being self deprecating, the people around me were happy, outgoing. They finished their homework on time and did sports and hobbies and created deep bonds with each other. However, I don't think anyone I knew were really sure about their future. They just worked hard at whatever was thrown at them in life, at whichever path they chose. That sort of passion for life is what gets people really far, I believe.There's a caveat here: it's a lot easier to be passionate about life when you're not mentally ill, or if life isn't already fucking you over by making you poor or removing your parents from the equation. Though I suppose the latter is sometimes fuel for some people to work even harder - there's plenty of rags to riches stories. But yeah, sorry about your situation, anon.
>>83463138>A bit more soul searching? When you close your eyes, do you imagine yourself working in any particular place?Something that involves building computers, maybe electronics in general? Maybe I should do electronics engineering, even though I'm not math savvy kek. Or maybe computer engineering. >It's really nice having parents that will fund an apartment for you and get you a six figure job.Dude fuck yeah. Imagine having not only your education 100% funded by your parents but also free on campus housing. It pisses me off when people like that throw their education away. Uni as a whole these days is advertised as more of a getaway paradise. Some universities even have waterparks for some reason.1/2
>>83463160However, I don't think anyone I knew were really sure about their future. They just worked hard at whatever was thrown at them in life.Yeah, that was me. I kinda coasted in highschool, it was during covid as well so I was dealt a terrible hand. Everything was still closed when I graduated in 2021. Fucking ridiculous really.>But yeah, sorry about your situation, anon.Nah, don't be. I'll think of something. I might just throw a hail mary at this electronic engineering thing and see where it goes. If it goes nowhere then oh well.
>>83463223>engineeringAnything with the word "engineering" in it terrifies me lol. The workload is insane...>It pisses me off when people like that throw their education away.You'd be pretty pissed at me LOLIf you don't procrastinate, university is literally just butterflies and rainbows in my opinion. Pick the right degree and meet the right people and they even shove you directly into a job at the end.>I might just throw a hail mary at this electronic engineering thing and see where it goes.You sound like you've got a better work ethic than me, so I think things will turn out fine.
>>83463138>so, get into something I don't even really likeOof, what do you like then? Let's start with that maybe.>What MMOs did you play?GW2 FFXIV WoW, ESO.>Only thing I'm remotely interested in on that list is fashion, though I haven't actually started trying to buy better clothes.Heh I have absolutely no fashion sense or even awareness, my ex had to teach me how to dress like an adult male and not a child.>I think their definition of a friend is a lot looser. Yes exactly. Surface level, fair weather only acquaintanceships. I don't really see the point in that either. But as I said I don't think you can really build friendships in that sort of context. True bonds require shared struggle. It can be a challenging task that you overcome together, trauma, something that really binds you. Which is why games can work. If you spent 5 hours clearing a hardcore dungeon together, vc enabled, you laugh and cry together, and make memories. The memories, the adventure are real even if the boss wasn't. Modern life doesn't offer a lot of challenges. We don't have to battle nature anymore, most of us don't have to battle anything or rely on each other, so we don't form bonds. Most people seem content with porn, sloppy entertainment and food, and parasocial garbage.I don't have anything really uplifting to share because even romantic relationship, as I've experienced, can end seemingly for no reason. The other person just gets bored and seeks to "experience" someone else. I don't know what to make of this, I fear that the kind of relationship I'm looking for doesn't exist. I've had a friendship like that too, we clicked hard, knew everything about the other, talked for hours everyday and then he just dropped me for no reason. I wish I could know for certain if a lifelong, deep, unbreakable bond is in the cards for me in this life or not so I would know if it's worth it to keep trying and hoping or if I can just kms and be done with this shit.
>>83463008>Anything you enjoy in this life?nothing at all anymore. it's all gone.
>>83463362Where did it go? In the snow?
>>83463379in the end, my hands were not made to hold anything.
>>83463388What about your (p)/(b)ussy?
>>83462900yes, though i try to drown it by gaslighting myself into being jolly and stuff around othersit doesn't really go away, even surrounded by people i still feel alone
>>83462900 (OP)i don't really feel anything as Christmas comes closer, no. Im a little excited about exchanging gifts but I will probably spend more time online talking with anons that with family. Everybody has/was failed around me so i don't really feel special things with them.
>>83462900>Anyone else feel this sense of loneliness as Christmas approaches closer?Yes. I fucking hate holidays, they make me anxious and melancholic because I realize that I haven't accomplished anything in an entire year, once again.
>>83463953What did you want to accomplish? Suicide?
>>83463983>What did you want to accomplish? Suicide?Wouldn't be that bad, lol. If I had to name a few things I want to achieve, I would say they are new skills, improvements in my financial life, status, writing a book, looksmaxxing, reading more, treating my anxiety triggers, etc. Basically, progress in the most diverse areas of my life (something that didn't happen in this year).
>>83464009Plant a garden this year. What do you think prevented you from achieving things this year? Do you think you need a drill sergeant or dominatrix to hold you accountable?
>>83463953Based Lucy poster
>>83464038>Plant a garden this yearI'm thinking about starting to grow magic mushrooms in my backyard, maybe. But in general, I wanted to complete the goals that I've been holding onto for years but never follow through on.>What do you think prevented you from achieving things this year?ADHD and some health problems >Do you think you need a drill sergeant or dominatrix to hold you accountable?I'd be okay with both
>>83464054>SmuglucyI have that pic too, hehe. Good taste.
