last night i slept walked, somehow made it downstairs and OPENED THE DOOR and pissed in a laundry basket full of clothes in my moms room, i have no idea why i did this and i was not conscious until she was like what the fuck are you doing? i have slept walked before but not like this, i just feel so awful, taking this as a sign to stop drinking for a while. i just don't understand, is my brain fucked?
i started typing thinking that i had a million embarrassing stories to share but now i realize the embarrassment is entirely within my head and not even worth mentioning
>>83475149I once broke my dick by fucking my own ass too hard. After that my ex-gf compared my penis to Hitler, saying my peepee was corrupt and it needed a final solution
i've lost an eye in a completely pointless fighttheres that.
one time i fell into a fountain at a crowded mall. This actually happened twice. And one time i fell into one whilst riding my scooter and broke my collarbone
>>83475193how did it start? why was it pointless? were the medical bills expensive?
>>83475179how is this possible? why would you do that anon? are you gay?
>>83475193Oh shit, me too. Well I didn't lose it but its lazy now. Completely useless fight as well. I wish I could take it out and get a prosthetic because I HATE having a lazy eye. Did you have macular scarring like me
Highschool.Sat on a bench outside my classroom, just waiting for class. Two other girls I dont know sit opposite of me. My stomach starts to rumble and I think I better go to the shitter before anything embarassing happens. I stand up and involuntarily rips a big one. I mean it sounded like I ripped my jeans it was so loud. Luckily, just air, but the two other girls just stopped mid conversation and stared at me. I just scurried away and hid in the shitter for 20 minutes and was late for class.
>>83475149Not my story, but.This guy had a horrible constipation for a couplr of days. so he started eating a bunch of fibers and shit that he believed would make him poop. The next day at his job, they were having a sort of celebration with family members, and he was having horrible cramps, while talking to his boss and his boss' wife. Well, they were babbling and babbling on and on, and he just wanted to run for the bathroom, but the boss kept talking. Then, he believed was "just a fart".. He felt it rolling down his leg coming out of his pants, and rolling on the ground. It was a small round poop, that rolled from his pants all the way up to the middle of the 3 of them. Everybody stopped talking and just stare in silence, looking at it. He didn't say anything. He just walked away after it.
>>83475149I went to get some light bulbs for my aunt yesterday and despite waking into the store with the old lighbulbs i needed to match, and despite holding them right next to the new bulbs to compare them before i bought them, i still managed to buy the wrong ones. Im an electrician
>>83477207i feel you like you aren't a real person if you don't have a good poop story, everyone got a poop story
>>83475149I used to look at gay furry porn on school computers when I was a teenagerduring classeveryone fucking hated me
>>83475149I did way worse but I won't elaborate. It involved sleepwalking into mother's bedroom. In minecraft
>>83478091jesus christ dude, yeah that makes me feel a lil better about my situation
>>83475149>streamed porn to my moms tv.>tried having sexual conversations with her over text.>have sent nudes to her.>did all of this because of getting wasted and high while being lonely virgin NEET and have wanted to fuck her for a long time.We are cool but I was a fucking idiot for doing this. She was kinda laid back about it and was resistant to going further doing stuff with me physically but didn't care about me being so sexual with her in the ways I was. Honestly with the reaction she had idk if I should've pushed it further or not. I'm probably better off just leaving that in the past and not trying again or pushing boundaries.
>>83475149An old NEET friend of mine I went to school with tried weed for the first time when he was like 28, he didn't handle it well at all. All his pent up loneliness ended up coming out to the point he grabbed his mom and said "fuck me mommy" or something like that in front of his whole family (dad/2sisters/brother). Somehow he didn't kill himself after doing this, I know I would have lol.
>>83475149got bullied out of a flat because i got drunk too much. like one of the guys was banging on my wall and howling ''fuck you'' over and over, which, really gay on his part but really uncomfortable for me.this prostitute added me on snap and i dunny she said she wanted to like legit get into a relationship because she wanted to drain me for money but i called her crying and saying it was never gonna work because i was so fucked up on drugs and shit, while she was like ''dude it was part of the gfe''.i crashed my car while plastered. in a ditch, nobody got hurt, but still i get the fucking shivers thinking about how it could have been. small town, literally everyone knows.at a work christmas party i blacked out and tried fighting one of my managers but i was so fucked up he just pushed me over and they threw me out. another work party with an entirely different crew i had gotten so drunk they had to carry me home and i pissed myself as they did.i dont drink or do drugs anymore. fuck having these kind of stories to tell and remembering these kind of fucking memories every goddamn night before i sleep.
I once left a fleshlight pocket pussy out on the counter at my parents house. they were gone for a couple weeks. problem is, they had a family friend stop by to grab some mail or something. yeah. no siblings or anyone else I could pin the blame on either.
I asked a girl out for the first time in seventh grade and the girl just kind of laughed and said sorry. then of course all of my friends and classmates knew about it the next day and some made fun of me. this still haunts me to this day.
>>83478381this is fucking hilarious and so far the worst one >>83478362kinda hot and you shouldve pushed further if she wasnt immediately offended or repulsed by it. my mom died when I was 13 and wouldve never done stuff like that with me but I definitely would have.
>>83475149at a work party one time it was only like 1800 but this guy was already way fucked up, went out to take a piss and he started pissing on the 2x2m glass panel door, everyone inside like 40+ people saw it.
>>83478032made me think of this
>at my own birthday party, like 9 or 10>neighbor girl's swimsuit bottom keeps slipping noticeably>get flashed several times>try to ignore it, don't want to be that perv who's staring>think it's actually kinda shitty of me not to warn her about this>when we're out of the pool and drying off I take her aside and try to tell her privately that her swimsuit is slipping and I can see her ass>legit get hit with the "KYAAA~ pervert" treatment RIGHT out the fucking gate>she starts fucking crying and runs off to tell the grown-ups God-knows-what>next thing I know, I'M being taken aside and berated by my dad and asked what the hell I said to her>I deadass just warned her that her swimsuit bottom was slipping and exposing her, I thought she'd want to know without me calling her out in front if everyone, holy shit>apparently I embarassed her>but I tried to NOT embarass her, that's why I took her aside to say it>you made a little girl cry, Anon>now I'm in trouble at my own birthday party >STILL don't know what the fuck she told them>no clue what the fuck I even did wrong
>>83478744>you shouldve pushed further if she wasnt immediately offended or repulsed by it.I do think about it often but it's probably better I don't. Not to say I might not try again but it needs to be the right time I figure that's key.
>>83478822>137 hours on recordholy kek
>>83475149I'm kind of a sperg so i don't know if i myself will recognize them as embarrassing, but i can try to think of some.
>>83478728one time in highschool math there was this stacey and me and a friend were talking about how hot she was in the bathroom and then i was like "dude watch this im gonna ask her for her snap" so i did it and she just said "i have a boyfriend " in the meanest bitchy tone possible and she talked shit about me with her ugly fat friend all class, it bothered me for a while until i realized im the only person in the world who matters and these hoes just can't fuck with my aura
When I was in prep and grade one in primary school I did not wear underwear, I cannot recall the reason why. It was pajama day at school one day, I was sitting in a school assembly when I realised my penis was hanging out of the fly slightly. No idea if anyone saw, I don't recall being overly embarrassed as I was very young.
>>83475149I've never been able to get laid at 30 years of age in a nation with highly promiscuous women.
This thread is the best anti alcohol campaign one could ask for.
>>83477278To be fair the bulb screws can be like 1 cm smaller, look almost the same but still not fit.
>>83478834I FUCKING HATE WOMEN SO MUCH IS UNREAL
>>83479373yeah guess what u dont ask her snap if shes disgusted from you faggot
>>83480480i was riding high anon, how was i supposed to know she was disgusted by me?
>>83481579youll also ride low soon. like real unadulterated lowrider style. prison is good for whitebois.
>>83480320yeah, but weed is gayer
>>83480466why? what did women ever do to you?:(
>>83475149You were just black out drunk and pissed in the laundry instead of the bathroom. That's not sleep walking thats being an alcoholic. There's no mystery dumbass.
>>83483408maybe, i have actually sleptwalked before though, i just never have gone downstairs so im chalking it up to a mix of my alcoholism and sleepwalking
