I mean, just the shear thought of it. That you are taking your own life and entering into the unknown. You have no idea what you're going to see once you get to the other side and your making a decision that no matter what you do you will never ever be able to undo if you think that you've made the wrong decision. Life is literally over. It seems like such a gamble and you don't even know what or how much your betting on. Isn't it scary? Frightful? And that's not even including the family aspect of it. Imagine how your mother or family as a whole would feel if they lost you. You may not know it, and from my experience with dealing recently getting closer with my mother, you have no idea how much of a thin thread they may be holding on by and by you taking your own life you might actually crush her. I couldn't imagine doing that to her and because of that I feel like I'm forced to stay alive.
>>83476977This is a really gay post OP
>>83476977My family hates me so they would probably appreciate me killing myself. Then they could tell everyone they just didn't know what happened and they were the best parents ever even tho they are fucking narcissists. Anyways. I'm gonna assume suicide just leads to another shitty reincarnation so what's the point
My experience of asking them about this they are usually materialists/atheistic to a borderline NPC extent. Sometimes if somebody says they want to kms I ask this question. It's like they're shocked anybody would even ask. What happens after?>duh you go lights out and its nothingness forever That is somehow so self-evident to them they don't worry about it. Madness really.>uhh it's like before you were bornOkay but we didn't exist before birth and then we were born. So we could just be born again. In worse lives.>nooo it's like totally peaceful and I get to sleep forever:DYou honestly think in a life filled with such bullshit we would be given such an easy opt out? Lol. So in my anecdotal experience they just don't think about it. Tbh the secular unspoken assumption we only have one life and it all ends for heckin ever and ever xD has led to a lot of bad shit
>>83476983Not even gon hold you bro, you're right. But I'm kinda on the edge right now. I think writing this thread kinda made things just a bit better. I just want to see my mother happy for once in her life and not have to deal with abuse.>>83477016I'm really sorry to hear that and it kinda making me jealous. I feel like I'd feel more relieved if my mother didn't care about me.>>83477051I'm kinda jealous of people who think like that. To just have such an easy way to opt out unlike me who believes in eternal conscious torment. Even that I could just pray that God gives me a pass but the thought of hurting my mother especially during this vulnerable time is honestly what is really stopping me.Also, wtf are these new captchas. Holy fuck!
>>83477051One thing I'll add tho. You could just be so desperate you can't see how any possible afterlife could be worse than your present-life. I was in that mentality 10 years ago. "I don't know but I need this to end". I had much more balls to attempt it like that. As I became less certain and atheistic I became less suicidal. Not less depressed necessarily. I cant articulate why but intuitively now I shrimply Know that death isn't the end of life. So suicide is not an option. It's not like it is technically an option but a bad one. It's no less of an option than growing wings and flying to Africa. Death is just not a thing. If I get depressed I can still feel suicidal but that now means I wish that suicide was a real thing. To be honest even though it sucks life seemed morr simple and straightforward when I believed death was the end. It's all much more scary and creepy now. Well that's my impression anyway.
>>83477142And how are you handling this new reality? I'm really between a rock and a hard place desu. Existence is pain and I want out.
