I was getting head from another guy and I completely separated and no emotion during the encounter. I couldn't get myself to mentally accept my position as a guy getting head; I had to think of being a female just existing to emotionally achieve orgasm. Personally, I never orgasm from physical stimuli, but only emotional and what I'm thinking of in my head.I know I will never have a relationship or sleep or pleasure or women, I've been with dozens of guys but no women. I can't ever think of sticking my dick into another dudes ass, even though I am gay, I'm mostly a gay bottom. I just never want to use my dick, psychologically.Women's body's are more beautiful and better looking than men. I don't want to cut off my dick, but I honestly wouldn't be against taking estrogen to look like a female. I accept we can never 100% transition to another sex, but our secondary characteristics can look like another sex. In a perfect world, if I could be a women, I would. It's just hard to deal with the fact that family and a large portion of the American population would hate you, and I would hate to look like a hun and failed transition. I'm a 22 white male with autism btw. I also abused DXM growing up as teen and fried my brain a bit too. I have a six figure salary job and graduated college, so not a complete failure lol.My sexuality is so fried, I don't even watch porn that much, just I've always for the past 10 years basically orgasmed to the idea of bottom/female positions. What do I do? I'm trying to lose weight so I look more androgynous, I used to weight 50 pounds less, I can lose the weight again in 6-12 months. Should I just repress?
tl;dr why does it take you a year to lose 50 poundsfit can set you right on that. fa can help if you want to be handsome. or pretty. lgbt will help for trannin
idk man this post made me sad. I am an old abject loser and I mainly jerk off to cocks and trannies nowadays. I don't think I will ever have sex or a relationship. How did everything get so messed up?
