What age were you when you accepted that your family never truly loved you like the rest?
>>83502615My family did love me, they just didn't know how to raise a child.
My mom left when I was 17 and came back at 28 after my dad died. We're closer now than ever
>>83502619I hope that's the simple explanation, as there are others who have been pretty fucked over too. It just doesn't explain why those who have raised their kids better are just as dismissive of me.
>>83502621Good shit to hear, anon! Was it more of your efforts to recover the relationship or your mother's?
>>83502654>why those who have raised their kids better are just as dismissive of me.This is weird, are you sure this is the case or do you think it's possible you might be reading too much into their actions or lack thereof?
>>83502615>straight A's in high school with all honors and every possible AP course>graduate ultra-competitive engineering major "on time" (in 4 years, on schedule)>ran my own resale business while I was in to make ends meet>worked at a "hot" startup after graduating>got fucked over at work>they simped for the corp FOR FREE>had to change careers, returned to academia to restart from zero>constant bombardment about how I'm a failure, how I NEED to go back to a """real job""">got accepted into a fully funded PhD program>not even "congratulations">get told "you're just free labor for the professor">double down on pressure during the quarter with the most difficult classes>somehow get through, again with straight A's>defend thesis, graduate>2 days ago (christmas): >got nice presents for family members>receive zero acknowledgement I graduated>get asked questions about gift, I answer truthfully>"I dun liek ur tone! IDS DISRESPECTFUL shamefurrr dispray!!!!!">"wtf why yuo so angry all the time?!?!?!!"However old I am rn. Fuck it, I'm done. Nothing will ever be good enough for them.
>>83502708A lot of nonsense I could vent about, but the final straw happened this past Christmas season. I got told that I'm "dragging people into drama" when I asked about my health insurance, phone plan, and taxes once again. I don't really know what to make of it outside of a lack of care or love.
>>83502799How old are you, OP?And it is a little weird to bring those subjects up during a holiday so I understand where they're coming from but if this is something that you've been asking about for a while I also understand where you're coming from, interpersonal relationships are quite complicated like that.Why are you curious about those things by the way, do you plan on venturing out on your own?
>>83502713Jesus. if it means anything, getting to a PhD-level of any sort is an incredible achievement, and I salute you for getting there. the words of a random dude on the internet might not do much, but it's just poor behaviour from your family to not acknowledge your efforts, no matter their circumstances or traumas.
>>83502812TL;DR: I'm a grown adult and have been losing hundreds to thousands of dollars every year for the past six years due to my family not wanting to care and calling those concerns "drama".I'm a lone-living 24-year-old, and nearing my graduation from university with a full-time job 90% lined up. The reason I brought those concerns near the holidays is that my schoolwork was done, and I could focus on them again. The last time it was brought up was after tax season ended/throughout the entire summer.I've not had health insurance for years due to empty promises about "Family Open Enrolment". Taxes are an unknown, as I've been filed as a dependent for years under an aunt, but have been left ignorant as to what money i got back or even if it was filed properly.I'm also under a family phone plan with them, but I've never been told what I owe every month, even after asking many times. Part of why I care is that I want to pay off my phone and move to a carrier that works better where I live.
>>83502858The real kicker is that my younger brother and some random cousin-in-laws who sit at home and play video games all day is "golden child" since they're nicer and will take getting spit on with zero complaint. I guess the only thing in common to be in their good graces is to be a complete fucking loser so they look dominant by comparison. The sad thing is some of these people have graduate level degrees and they still need to do this. They always say they want the family to be great, but it looks like all they care about is making themselves look great.
I am ignorant on all levels, I do not know what love is or feels like mentally, physically or emotionally. It ultimately does not matter, I have food to eat, a place to sleep, and things to keep my mind occupied.
when I was little all I remember is getting slapped, whipped by belt, locked in a dark room, and screamed at constantly - not the reason for it and that kinda fucked me up, explains why I'm so socially retarded now.surprisingly enough they are more accepting now than ever, too bad that will never make up for all that shit and I cannot wait to just move out as far as possible once I gain the mental fortitude to actually go through (probably fucking never)
8. By then I also understand what death meant. By 10, I made a plan to end my life when I'm old enough to buy a gun. Now I'm 30. Too pussy to pull the trigger.
All parents are selfish. There's no way they can care about you before you're born, so their choice to create you is purely based on what they want and the life they choose for you. This is why gay teenagers become homeless so often, parents just see you as a vessel for their vicarious life-paths and giving them the illusion that lineage confers immortality
>>83502687My moms effort I wouldn't have talked to her if she didn't contact me. I loved my dad but he could be violent.
>>83503036Anon, you have had the misfortune of being born into a cold uncaring family, and I am truly sorry that there is nothing I can do for you.Honestly, you should keep everyone who treats you this way at arm's length, they will just do the bare minimum out of obligation as your family, but they will also use you when it's beneficial for them.
>>83503570Yeah, that's my fear, and that it took me this long to even start pondering that reality...>>83503254This sort of mentality is what I hope to reach, but my brain is retarded and wants someone to love.>>83503221>loser>"dominant"Love to see that the stupidity in families isn't just mine...>>83503325>>83503337Holy over... What plans do you guys have aside from rerolling genetics?
>>83503428I am a bastard born out of wedlock so there wasn't even a plan for my birth. That might give the answer right away, but my family likes to deny that's why they're harsh to me.>>83503439Still happy to read this positivity. Gives me hope that not all Gen X are evil.
>>83503979I don't think it's pure stupidity if they can get degrees, especially back when it was """hard""". Sounds more like vanity and deep insecurity to me.
>>83504167It's third world mentality through and through. Rather be king in the bumfuckistan slum than just a regular guy in america. Spend some time with them and you can see for yourself really fucking fast why their tinpot dictatorship fell, and they truly deserved it. Sad thing is I don't think they learned a fucking thing.
13That's when I heard my dad talking about hating faggots. Been a closeted gaycel ever since
>>83503979well it's not that over, just have a little more till i get my degree by freeloading off of them and see what's what then - i don't plan on blaming my initially really shit family for nothing, i'll just keep on going hopefully accepting what I grew up to be, even I don't know what's my problem, just really sick of people and it's gotten hard to digest them - was really outgoing when I was in middle school and now this...
Question for everybody in this thread, since I'm on a similar boat.Face and height?
>>83502615I grew up in a very matriarchal family and I was the only boy and the baby. I became the favorite growing up so envy/jealously rose from the girls in my family. I was child number 5. The reason why I was the favorite is because I never gave mom drama/trouble and always did what I was told. I was constantly bullied and yelled at constantly being treated like a slave or something lowly to them. All that bullying and along with other terrible things they did to me messed with my psyche. I was threatened to never tell mom or else. The or else usually meant them beating on me or starving me. I would never fight back and let them get away with it because sometimes I thought I did something wrong and I deserved it. Goes to show family means nothing to me even after I explained all my feelings on the matter. All it did was make things worse for me like being afraid of girls and making me be a loner. Did not help I got bullied by girls at school too. For awhile I thought maybe it is normal for girls to be mean and to be treated like you are below them or something. Being older these days I grew out of a lot of things that made me scared but I cannot seem to make being scared of girls go away. I feel like the black sheep because of how they treated me. What they did to me and i hate what it did to me. Oh well. I am going to sleep and I will check on this later. Sorry for the blog.
>>83502615My family isn't outwardly dismissive of me at all really, but I've been struggling with agoraphobia for a while. So they kinda accepted that I won't be their for social events, holidays, etc desu
>>83502713>wahhh I'm Asian or Indian and have aloof parentsFuck off Jiang Sandeep,
>>83505165Face is fine. Height is about 170cm.>>83504167TRUE!>>83504183True? Although you seem to have a lot of other topics stuck in your mind...>>83504649I'm unfortunately homophobic, anon... it is tragic to hear but also slightly funny to hear...
>>83502615At like 8yo when I realized all my cousins had a favorite cousin to play while I was just an extra
>>83502615They do in their own messed up way. I realized I'll never be understood by them earlier this year.
Probably 9 when my family became more outwardly cruel to me.>>83505165What do you think that has to do with family trouble? Curious.
>>83505165Face is fine. Height is like 5'2 due to some health problems in my childhood
>>83506432My joints are also kinda messed up
Think i was 10 or 11 when my mom just said straight to my face she wished she aborted me and bonked me in the face with a chair Least she cleared the early because i grew up to hate her as is
>>83506444The contrast between the pic of Rika simling and such a tragic story is wonderful. Did you at least get your revenge?
>>83506456just verbally because ye i could probably crush her skull with 1 arm but i guess i take after her and found it more fun to throw everything possible she's ever said back in her face in regards to past trauma or medical issues
>>83506486>just verballyIt's already enough. By the way, what did tiny anon do right after hearing the evil words from his mom when he was 10?
>>83502615It didn't hit me at a specific age. It's something I gradually came to understand. It was when I was talking about them to AI when I finally had someone other than me admit that my parents are messed in the head.
>>83502615I think around 9 or 10, when I discussed my contempt for being locked in the sped cage, this further evolved over time as I tried to achieve things in middle and high school. My brothers are weak faggots who will break and bleed and "need therapy" for every little thing.I was smart and strong in comparison to them, and I could do things they couldn't hope to, and my mother hated me for it, for not being weak or dumb, for getting a good job without needing to go college. (still won't need one lol)She will be at their behests for any little thing, and will scream at me for sneezing incorrectly.She treats them like beautiful innocent children regardless of all of the awful shit they do (suibating, and spending 50hrs/week gaming instead of doing college courses, resulting in needing 6 years for a bachelors). Meanwhile (at one point) I if I didn't seem enthusiastic enough when she whiningly assigns me 10 tasks the moment I enter the room, she would scream at me, hurl insults, and then shed crocodile tears and say "You hurt me", "You were being rude". And then pretend none of it happened. She even threatened to kick me out once because I said "I already know this" to her once.I did get my father to defuse her a few times, but he usually eggs her on, he a lifeless husk of who he once was, and he knows who wears the pants and the strap on in the relationship.Thankfully my mother did calm down and no longer treats me like a cheating ex bf with a drug addiction, but those dynamics do persist.She is a female manchild, and almost 100% has some form of undiagnosed personality disorder, that and a very low IQ just based off how generally imperceptive she is, with a near complete inability to recognize patterns. People I've known for a week know me better than her.
My family is just low iq they might love me because they do a lot of selfless stuff.The problem is they don't realise how badly it messed up my mental health by not letting me go out even though I am 27, and they scare me with shit like "you will get raped and beaten all the time once we die no one will fear you and you can't even go out now because you're powerless and a loser you just get your ass kicked" It's really demoralizing, they want to convince me really bad everyone else hates me and wants to kick my ass simply because whenever I got bullied, I stood up for myself and got my ass kicked because I can't fight.
