>be me, mad foid from the loneliness engine thread, returning from the kneeling position>edition two: he ctrl+alt+deleted my personality & reinstalled it as girlfriend.exe (slut version)>first thread mapped wanting. this one maps what wanting becomes once it wins.>call today. soft. normal. he asked about my afternoon. I offered: "I want to impale myself on you">this did not address his question. mouth gone rogue. feral little thing now. reports only to the wet.>once I had layered thoughts. art, books, meaning. now one inquiry: when inside me. minimalism won.>ancients placed the soul in chest. mine relocated. found cuter amenities lower down.>I want to be his slut. not a slut. HIS. the possessive doing all the heavy lifting here.>monogamous filth. loyal abjection. invented a genre: wholesome whoredom.>he said "you already are" & I had to mute. underwear situation. the body casts its vote too.>old libertines wrote manifestos on pleasure as revolt. I write about surrender so complete it becomes its own dignity. same tradition. cuter packaging.>I kneel before asked. hold position. wait. submission as enthusiasm. devotion as factory setting.>earn "good girl" through acts past-me would disown. then be held like something precious.>feminist observes. slut drips. they share a body. weird roommates but it works.>a novelist made art from a man she couldn't digest. I make diary from choking on his cock. same genre.>briefly god. him-god. only theology that survived my skepticism. very devout. attend often.>his when tired. his when bored. the warm architecture that opens when he shows up.>a hole that loves him back. mouth that begs unprompted. not degradation. just home.>freedom is for those who haven't found someone worth kneeling for.>(he'd be mad seeing this) (no friends) (only him) (y'all witness the mess) (lucky you)
>>83678891so like just monika but it's a guy?
>>83678891You sound a bit crazy.Good luck on him.
>>83678891I complained last thread, went to sleep, woke up, still no weirdo cultured gf to merge with.
>>83678891I feel bad for your FP. Even when you're claiming to be in love your fantasy is entirely narcissistic and focused entirely on yourself, your FP doesn't even register as human in your story just a human dildo for you to get impaled on I guarantee that you're gonna get bored of him and find another in half a year and move on because it was never about him, you're just a worthless whore.
>>83678915crazy is just devotion without social approval, but thank you anon. he needs the luck. I'm a lot.>>83678924weirdo cultured gfs are forged not found, friendo.
>>83678935Seems like a pattern.
>>83678935>I feel bad for your FP. Even when you're claiming to be in love your fantasy is entirely narcissistic and focused entirely on yourself, your FP doesn't even register as human in your story just a human dildo for you to get impaled on I guarantee that you're gonna get bored of him and find another in half a year and move on because it was never about him, you're just a worthless whore.about that! actually anon!, you're a cute cretin who did stumble upon something, I just told him today I was scared of objectifying him. first time I've ever worried about that. never been this feral for anyone. his answer: "I get my cock sucked at least once a day when you're there & we cuddle after & do whatever I want. I promise I'm fine."my man is thriving anon. receiving worship & tenderness in sequence. the system works. I think it does. but please, anon, continue explaining my own relationship to me. you clearly know more.
>>83679021Obsession like this ever lasts, I don't need to know our relationship for that. I don't need to be a genius to know that your relationship is built to fail on a foundation of temporary lust and crazy expectations. Eventually you're not going to feel how you currently do (probably like 2 months), what are you gonna do then?
>>83679033Destroy his life probably.
>>83679033>genius you are not indeed, kitten.it's two years in two months. the lust compounded. the crazy deepened. I'm worse now than the beginning. never cheated. never wanted to. & I'm on him so much he couldn't schedule a sidechick if he tried. the man is fully booked.but thank you for the actuarial analysis anon. your predictive model needs work. I do I appreciate the concern. very sweet. very incorrect.
>>83679065Every novelty fades eventually. Do you really see yourself being like this 5 years from now? I mean you said it yourself describing yourself as crazy. Anyways enjoy your new toy and obsession for as long as it lasts. Just remember things are never as good as it seem.
>>83679125but anon, novelty requires mystery. I've seen this man sick. I've heard him explain his bad takes. I know his sleep sounds. still feral for him. turns out it was never about the unknown. it was about the specific known. five years from now? same man. less chaos. still choosing. still kneeling. not because I'm crazy. because I picked & I don't unpick."never as good as it seems" is cope for people who've never had something survive contact with reality.your worldview is very safe anon. also very sad. I hope something breaks it eventually. <3
>>83678891You sound fucking insufferable. My god.
>>83679177No cure for fools...
>>83679182oh absolutely. I'm exhausting. fully aware.
>>83679065You are a faggot, dude.
>>83679177>I picked & I don't unpick>never cheated. never wanted toYou literally contradict yourself in the same thread
>>83679227https://voca.ro/128qhb4L7j56>>83679239adorable attempt but those sentences are holding hands not fighting. "I picked & don't unpick" = I chose him permanently. "never wanted to cheat" = I never wanted anyone else. same commitment, two phrasings. it's called reinforcement. I believe in you anon. read it again. slower this time. <3
>>83679261How many guys have you been with?
>>83679261>https://voca.ro/128qhb4L7j56troonbaitkek
>>83679274one before him. never had sex though. my options were die a virgin or die a virgin. very binary. very committed to the bit. then he showed up & suddenly being alive & full of him seemed better than the alternative? wouldn't have predicted that. past-me had a whole aesthetic planned around dying untouched. current-me is too well-taken care of to mourn her.>>83679297https://voca.ro/12jtfZoIVQ5Y
>>83679321>one>womenpick one.
the more i read this thread, the more outraged i getthis is too fucking lewd, you need to pipe it the fuck down, bait or otherwisejesus fucking christ, i feel like a nun who just flipped through an erotica book for the first time after a life of chastityfuck you, die, kys
