just spent 30 minutes sweating an appointment that's for tomorrowfeeling dumb af
>>83681968its okay anon im retarded like that too its fine
>>83682541i was waiting around before my mom came back from work for the meeting and then she got upset cause i hadnt done enough housework. now it feels really bad
>>83682572Do some housework. Not for her, but for yourself. It feels good to get things done, have a clean space, and you can burn some anxious energy.
>>83682590i did some stuff so i hope its alright. need to do a bit more maybe for her, making dinner now but it isn't much
>>83682572well you just have to ignore her then
>>83682729i cant ignore her feelings because i live off charity and need a place to stay
>>83682846well thats a shame i dont know then its the same for me but the bs she comes up with sometimes needs to be ignored or i will go crazy
>>83682944i see. whats she do that gets on your nerves?
>>83682970she just tries to control everything i doalways tells me what to do as im doing it, tells me to do things im literally about to do, gets angry if i dont do everything she wants perfectly even though she never explains how to, gets annoyed if i dress in certain ways and whateversorry i dont want to hijack your thread ill leave now
>>83683026aw :(it was interesting to hear about you. are you living with her or why does she hover over you like that?
>>83683036ewll i dont mind staying if you dont mind but i may disappear anyway because its late and im not really sober>you living with heryeah. i also feel like im indebted to her and that is why i just endure everything and not say a wordi know after all she cares about me and all but shes' really overbearing and i sometimes i wish i had the means to go live by myself. i can't even organize my room how i want without her going crazy
>>83683092i see. around how much housework do you do a day?
>>83683121none loli do some occasionally when im able to but for the most part i dont do anythingyes i am a lazy piece of shit and i deserve to be kicked out and freeze to death i agree. i dont think i have the right to complain about anything anyway. honestly i kinda wish they did kick me out to die in the cold maybe i would've become a better person
>>83683143I'm not judging you. I was just interested to talk to someone in such a similar position. >honestly i kinda wish they did kick me out to die in the cold maybe i would've become a better personsort of reminds me of welcome to the nhk where he stops getting money and gets a job because he's starving. probably just is that we only act this way since we're enabled. again, no judgement. part of your dependency is probably the fact your parents didn't give you much independence from the sounds of it. it's hard to raise yourself into responsibility. I feel like a failure too though.
>>83681968Is it a doctors appt?
>>83683178i know sorry.>gets a job because he's starvingyeah i kinda had to do that too in the pastlasted a few months before i got fired thankfully. i thin k i'd be able to survive on my own, i just lack a reason to do so. why bother. the only motivation i have is to leave so that my mom doesnt nag me anymore but then i leave her alone and im condemned to living a life in a empty house. there's just no way to win that i can see.
>>83683190yes. i started seeing a therapist to hopefully get counseling for some of my behavioral struggles>>83683213>the only motivation i have is to leave so that my mom doesnt nag me anymore but then i leave her alone and im condemned to living a life in a empty house. there's just no way to win that i can see.yeah. it's like a lot more stress for a little less shame. ive lived alone as a neet and quite enjoyed it. Some permanent way to live in a small apartment and be fed would really be ideal. The shame of seeing somebody all the time who judges you makes it a little more upsetting. My family says that I'm a good family member but I feel like I have to be perfect for them to tolerate my financial irresponsibility and immaturity. Getting a job is really difficult to organize my life and thoughts to do, so just been stuck in a limbo. it feels like the window is already long gone to be normal. if I'm going to be a strange outsider my whole life, why even try to fit in for a start. I've basically been a shut in for over 8 years. There's not some magical solution to go outside anymore.
