Is it wrong to be extremely envious of successful people such as intelligent ones or people with the artistic skills I desire because I know that I won't ever learn as fast as them or be as good as them? Fuck my mediocre life. When I imagine the person I would like to be and compare it with the person I am, I can't imagine a reality where I "achieve" things. It will always be a life where I "underachieve" stuff. I can't deal with this. I want to be great and yet I'm so fucking small.
>>83689356Its not exactly the same feeling but I really hated the people around me when I started university.Like everyone was some striver and achiever who wanted to do something with their life and then there was me who never gave a shit about anything.
you are comparing your backstage secrets to their highlight reels. you have no context of what they went through to get to where they are. they mightve had a lot more support, a lot more free time and energy, a lot of other reasons to be able to learn so quickly. you can master anything if you apply yourself and keep yourself applied for a long term though, in the end you can be a great artist too with enough practice. comparison is the thief of joy
>>83689356No and a lot of people feel that. Even the ones that get praised or are successful. You kinda never escape it. If you want to be great at something, then you have to minimum spend time on it everyday. It needs to become an obsession, because that's the kind of level the people who are great are operating at.
>>83689356Excellence is not an art, it's a habit. If anything you should be jealous of people who were born into families that let them develop their skills in a safe environment and gave them the resources to do so.
>>83689356How is it wrong? Envy is as natural to man as any emotion, acknowledge it without any shame and act on it, be better and grow, please don't turn resentful of other people :)
>>83689373I had (or maybe still have) a similar feeling. Everybody just look so ready and prepared...>>83689375You are right, I can't do a just comparison when I can only see the shiny superficial part of people versus my own. I envy how they had what they had, whether it was more support, time or energy or simply understanding better what they were doing. And I also tried accepting that the only thing I can do know is to applying myself and, step by step, practice until mastering what I want. Yet it hurts to face this reality, for some reason. It hurts to be proven that I'm not perfect or that I'm not special like the way I used to think. And to feel left behind. I have to come with terms to this, but I don't know when my emotional side (not sure if its the correct term, but maybe my "ego") will finally accept this.>>83689378"Obsession"... I guess you are right. And it is inspirng to think about it that way. Thinking about it, the people I admire, at least some of them, really did look like they were obsessed. Thank you, I can see a clearer path from now on, and what I can do from now on if I aim to become less mediocre.>>83689381>If anything you should be jealous of people who were born into families that let them develop their skills in a safe environment and gave them the resources to do so.That's what I feel! Like, "I'm sure that this person's family did a great job teaching their kid (for example, my former HS colleagues) to be disciplined, teached it how to like doing hard work. I wish I had a family like theirs..." That's what I feel like.
>>83689517I think it's perfectly fine to be envious of that. But what's important is to recognize that if you want to create, you can still learn to do so.I was not encouraged, and I have a very hard time forcing myself to do anything I don't enjoy. But eventually I got into a routine where the first thing I do when I start my PC is open my IDE to program. So it's easy now.
>>83689517you are shifting your envy from the persons ability to the persons support structures. you are using envy as your excuse to give up before you really try. but you have it inside you to do well if you want to anon
>I'm so goddamned important!
>>83689541So in the end if I stick to daily practice or a routine I will eventually become "stronger" and better in a certain sense and become more disciplined? >>83689561Indeed. I sometimes have the two types of envy at the same time and then one of them solo. It's true I gave up on certain things, but I'm trying to build some habits so it's not like I didn't start at all. Well, guess I just need to keep practicing, it's the only way
>>83689356my peers regard me as a very intelligent person. i can pretty much learn anything i want in a couple of days, though i think a lot of people would be able to learn more things if they were explained in a way they can digest it.i would happily trade my intelligence for more motivation, drive, i don't know. whatever you want to call it, i lack it. i don't want to do anything, i feel like i want to die everyday. i do the same exercise you do, and honestly i would probably feel better being a NPC. i would have loved to feel happiness any time, like whenever i achieved something, but there was nothing.i don't want to brag, i really don't. i love helping others reach their dreams, but i can't seem to make my own dreams happen.
>>83689517>aim to become less mediocre.Most people suck, if you are dedicated and have a daily schedule it won't take too long, but also mediocrity is very subjective. Even what most people would consider amazing some piece of shit could call that same thing mediocre. Btw Anon what is your dream, what is it that you want to stop being mediocre at?
This is a trap. Revealing all the narcissists. You dont learn something because you are envious. You learn it because you think it is fun, enjoyable or might maybe add something to your life.
>>83689646No problems, anon, and I don't think you are bragging. I'm sorry for you. I don't know what to say, but I wish you can find some drive in your life. >>83689696>Btw Anon what is your dream, what is it that you want to stop being mediocre at?I want two things: to be intelligent and to create art, especially to write a story, and, in the past, to draw or animate something. So my dream is something like working publishing one or a few visual novels or books. Bonus if I could work in a japanese company
>>83689826I can't speak for being intelligent, but seems you are juggling between story and drawing. You really should only pick 1 main thing to focus on since it's much easier to become great at 1 thing than two, but I assume you are going the writer path.You can try to befriend drawfags, maybe they are interested in making something with you. However the most important thing is getting a writers schedule. You should practice writing and write everyday. Read books on writing, plot structure, thematic structure, whatever writing theory you can learn. Absorb and put it into practice also experiment, theory without practice is often useless.I'm speaking from the perspective of a musician, do NOT cheap out on structure. Borrow from others, everyone does it. Eventaully it just becomes your normal life.
>>83689883Thanks for the advice. (muted for 2 seconds)
