i can't take yelling, today my younger sibling yelled at me because i jokingly tapped him, startling him. i genuinely feel like killing myself and feel like im akin to epstein or someone else horrible and evil, i feel like writing a heartfelt apology (but i know not to im not that maladjusted). tears are welling in my eyes. im an 18 year old fully grown woman. why am i like this?
>>83689859well just grow older and move out and find better people
I REAAAAALLY DOOOOOOOOOOONT KNOOOOOOOOOOOOW FEEEEEEEMBOOOOOOOT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>83689859Maybe he is just autistic and really hates contact or something. I was feeling like this earlier the week but have since calmed down. You will too. There will be a better day coming soon.
>>8368985920yo here and I also take yelling really badly, my mom sometimes yells at me for no reason (bad day at work? Idk) and it strikes me real hard.This world hates sensitive young men like me... Don't feel to bad for this, I'd say it's more normal than you think.
>>83689876college next fall..i am dreading it>>83689882jokes on you yelling over text doesn't have the same effect (sometimes)>>83689900haha, he just has anger issues, if i were any other person i'd laugh it off, the weird thing is that i know it isn't that serious and he's now raging at something else on his ipad, but this will irk me for days...thanks for the reminder that this will pass though it has helped ground me a bit.>>83689946oh geez, it hurts the most from parents i'm sorry...but for me i think spiraling over an 11 year old being moody is a bit ridiculous
>>83689859>i genuinely feel like killing myself and feel like im akin to epstein or someone else horrible and evilNot the worst thing I've read.But considering you're a female you can't really do much about it since you're physically frail.
>>83689989>college next fall..i am dreading ityou gonna spend less time home. that's a win op
>>83689859I was also traumatized pretty badly by my parents and brother yelling at me
>>83689859You are weak because society allows you to be.
>>83690023>>83690095you odd sexually frustrated critters, i banish you from my thread!>>83690031nooo sharing a house is already a horrible experience wdym i have to share a 12x12 room with a girl that is welladjusted and probably attractive, i will be tormented 24/7 in what's supposed to be my OWN space, i also have to somehow relinquish my strange habits in just a few months..>>83690071even a slight change in tone causes me to spiral, i think the good thing is that my struggles are well-kept hidden and i appear as (mostly) normal to others.
>>83689859>im an 18 year old fully grown woman. why am i like this?ywnbaw
>>83690238>nooo sharing a house is already a horrible experienceyou have one shot at this, you need to find out if that girl is nice. if she is nice then you can be her friend or something, if you just jump to conclusions before trying anything then youre set for failure
My younger brother gets hostile for no reason sometimes. Rags on me randomly, brings up shit he knows I'm insecure about when I never talk negatively to him. One thing I really hate is that he'll moralfag about me telling a dark joke then follow it up with an even darker one 5 minutes later. I think he has a grudge against me because I remember once when we were younger he told me he thought I was my parents' favorite. Meanwhile he'll make fun of me in front of everyone and no one will bat an eye. He's just an all-around douche and I've decided I'm done pitying him and waiting for him to mature when I've met so few people that have acted like he does now at any age. Not gonna do a dramatic fight, I don't think he even realizes I don't even like him. I just avoid him whenever I can. Hopefully when I move out we'll naturally drift apart so he won't bother me
>>83689859>why am I like thisDunno but I can empathize. My parents would drink way too much every single night growing up as far back as I can remember and most nights out of the week they would end up screaming at each other for a long time, sometimes several hours on end. It was usually started over some entirely stupid and menial disagreement or misunderstanding. Often times once they were done my mom would blow off steam at my siblings and me and scream even more. Occasionally things got physically violentand ans I would have to split then up. I don't like hearing people yell either. I can feel the adrenaline hit my bloodstream when I hear it. often times when I'm trying to sleep I hallucinate screaming tbdesu, its rather annoying.I wish I had been a better older brother and shielded my siblings from them more
>>83690265i've always struggled making friends, plenty of people have given me grace and patience, i'm maybe a lost cause. i am working very hard on my social skills though, i've been reading this book called "How to Talk to Anyone" and studying intensely like a genuine autist, i won't give up. my pessimism is my worst trait, i think it deters many people and hinders my innate determination!! i will work on this too. thank you for your encouragement anon.>>83690252unfortunately, women exist and a handful of them happen to use this godforsaken site. i am sorry for not using the typical indicators (insert kaomoji, tomoko here) please refer to >>83690238.>>83690308i'd say that this is just the younger brother experience, but it sounds like he has some sort of antagonistic mental illness, i hope that you get away as soon as you can!
>>83690396>i'm maybe a lost causeyou are never a lost cause. what you're doing right now is good, because you're talking to people and that's going to warm you up. maybe try meeting nice people online before you try making irl friends will help you too. it's nice of you to not give up and i really wish you make friends because being alone for so long isn't good
>>83690394i'm sorry, my parents are drinkers too. my mother doesn't yell often, and frankly her voice isn't that intimidating but my father has this brazen deep voice that scares me a lot. when he'd beat me one bottle away from stupor he'd make this "ARGHHGHGHGHHHHHHH" sound. perhaps it's that? and i wouldn't worry too much, i'm sure that you're a great older brother.>>83690411believe it or not, making online friends is even harder. when texting in real time it's so hard to look for normal indicators like "when is it appropriate for me to cut them off? are they monologuing? am i oversharing?" talking to too many people makes me feel overwhelmed and anxious, i prefer having my space most of the time but sometimes i reach my limit and have these outbursts of desperation to people i barely know, and end up embarrassing myself and ruining any potential friendship.
>>83690238>even a slight change in tone causes me to spiral, i think the good thing is that my struggles are well-kept hidden and i appear as (mostly) normal to others.yeah I'm good at pretending I don't care but man I get a mini panic attack every time someone raises their voice or slams a door
>>83690635door slamming too..yes....i think loud noise in general for me. at school my discomfort has become a sick joke for my peers. i tend to wince a bit, it's not really noticeable, but people have started dropping things intentionally to get a reaction out of me. i hate it so much, mostly because i hate drawing attention to myself.
>>83689859Kid nobody likes being yelled at and it is supposed to make you feel bad as a survival mechanism because when a monkey barks and growls at you it means fight or flight. Life is all about how you handle those feelings and situations with your outer cortex rationally not your lizard brain. That's what loud obnoxious people don't understand about why most people hate their persona. Especially for most men it instantly triggers irritation and anger because a yell is a threat signal. Once you understand your feelings are normal and valid you can work on handling the situation better with your behavior and how you treat yourself and other people.
>>83690975I'll add your sibling probably overracted exactly because he was startled by your tapping. You don't have to take his response so personally. When people are frightened they act poorly.
>>83690845I hate drawing attention to myself too, actually hate wearing shirts with logos and stuff like that because I don't like that it draws attention. it's not loud noises in general for me though, it's just people yelling at me and doors. sorry you have to go through that, your classmates are assholes
>>83690975yes, yes. but i am so defected i am ALL lizard brain>>83691027it's the sheer arrogance of my own existence that makes me want to rip my hair out. every time i take a breath, i'm aware of how much of a deficit i am to the planet. i'm like a mold growing in the corners of my parents house...useless, unsightly, and impossible to get rid of without making a mess i feel like everyone is able to hear my thoughts and realize i'm just a pile of neuroses... i'm so fundamentally broken that even "pity" feels like a resource i'm stealing from people who actually deserve it. i want to time travel to when i was a fetus and tug on my mom's organs like it's a bell cord thingy on a bus, so she gets the signal to STOP and autoabort me..there's nothing that i wish for more
>>83690582>I'm sure you're a great older brotherI am not, but thank you for your kind words.
>>83691805anon please don't say that, you're wrong, you're not worthless
>>83691805Being able to even believe that you are "ALL lizard brain" ironically means that you are indeed not "ALL lizard brain". Like the other anon said, everyone is sensitive to being yelled at. Many women in my life would sometimes cry just hearing two men yelling at each other in the room, even though they could clearly articulate that it wasn't really a reason for them to cry, yet they felt sad and helpless at it anyways. People who don't cry or withdraw, would almost definitely noticably raise their voice a few levels.As for the rest, you need to work out why you think you feel this way. There are literal serial killers literally stealing lives that don't think they're broken. Some people have 0 qualms about going to a third world country and extracting value from the populace knowing they can't all have other choices.It's pointless to try and decide whether any thought you have is arrogant or humble, because either will be self-contradictory. If you believe your existence is arrogant, I would challenge you to imagine what you believe would make your existence humble and why. Why do you believe that going back in time to autoabort yourself is any less arrogant than existing? Why do you believe that you get to make that choice over anyone else in your family, or even society in general, when you believe that you are arrogant for choosing to exist?
>>83689859Some people just like yelling, it used to freak me out as a child but after an entire childhood of my parents yelling about me over nothingburgers I'm kinda desensitized to itTo answer your question they'll try and rationalize it and tie it to something that you did to but it reality they were probably just feeling mad and basically waiting to blow their load. That's usually how it went with my dad, or maybe he was just hungry or something. Once you realize that it correlates with them having a shitty day and the fact that they're agitated even before they blow up it becomes pretty obvious, you can just tell when they're in that mood.
