why is it that the more i get to know someone, and the more they know me, the more i want to get away with them?i feel like it's in part the novelty wearing off, the expectations i create in my head for every new person i talk to, for in every person i see an expansive world, but once i carry the gist of it, i feel like there's not much to be explored in there.as well the fact that i simply don't like people knowing a lot about me. it feels bad to be known for what i am. i prefer keeping a distance from everyone i know. so does anyone else do this?
>>83744305>i feel like it's in part the novelty wearing off, the expectations i create in my head for every new personpre-emptive ick
>>83744316less-so ick, and more-so just getting bored that they're not really more than i had imagined; that they are in fact simply just people
>>83744329It's why people turn to waifus, husbandos, they are god-like
>>83744305I do the sameDid you grow up in neglect, anon?Like, you'd go to school alone, you'd come home and the house is empty so you just depend on yourself for the most partIt's the novelty of getting to know someone new, talking for a few days straight, and then you figure out at the end of it that you don't actually have anything in common, so the convo dies out slowly
>>83744371i suppose so but to me they don't really have any appeal because people like waifus and husbandos for the relational appeal, but im mostly so interested in people for the ideas they have and experiences they've livedthat said i like to fixate on fiction
>>83744384yes, i was alone at school, for pretty much every single day of my school life, from elementary up until highschool. my mom was pretty helicopterish, but i never really lived in a warm household. me and my brother barely even knew each other, and my mom was definitely a tough love sort of mom. very harsh, domineering, considered sentimentality redundant and heavily valued practicality. oh, and she beat us sometimes.so yes, relationally, people were never really much my strong suit or biggest center of interest. for most of my life, i always lived in my head and in the realm of ideas. outside of that, i barely have any lived experiences to speak off or bounce off on other people. and thusly, what most interests me in people likewise is exploring their headspace, their mental map. especially if it's someone who has a particularly unique or eccentric way of thinking, i'll be quite fascinated and start orbiting them for a while and trying to figure out what's their deal. by eventually, when all's been said and we both know the gist of each other's mental framework, i slowly grow disinterested and stop being as engaged. seeing this, either they stop talking to me, or i stop talking to them.
>>83744305I can't tell if this is your thread or not the image is throwing me the content is different I feel like I'm lost
>>83744438oh, you think im the griffith fag or something? no, i just think he's neat.
>>83744427Same deal with me thenFolks like us, anon, we're genuinely fuckedI've been going to therapy and trying to "force" myself to care about people/things, but I just can'tLemme ask you this, what's your dream job/car/house/anything?If you answer "none" in any sort of capacity, you're fuckedWe're the kinda folks who are "Jack of all trades, Master of none" I'm 28, I've held 7 jobs so far, I've made money and I'm pretty independent, but I'm just coasting through life desuNo higher purpose, no calling, just a quiet life doing whatever the fuck I feel like doingI don't actually desire or want to do them, I just have to force myself to do them
>>83744305I do this too, the only people I want to keep around are people I can learn from that are knowledgeable about many things. I do want to be understood and known by someone though, that has yet to happen and most likely never will
>>83744472well actually, i do have answers for those >dream jobscientific research. my dream as a kid was to work on quantum computers. now, id like to work in the field of artificial intelligence or computer design. the pushing the boundaries aspect of both is what captivates me. other than that, id maybe have to say biology/neurology are other fields that also interest me. i just want to be able to know the unknowable. i want to know one day if there is a logic or rhythm behind reality. i consider myself a pyrrhonian skeptic, but although my stance is that of unknowing, the unknown truly does terrify me, and so i irrationally still hold out the hope that through discovery, my hope could be made possible. that said, i need to muster up the motivation to actually do something about this interest of mine, but lately ive been feeling so exhausted.>dream carnot my main center of interest, but i find self driving cars neat. >houseanywhere that's spatious enough and where i can have plenty space to myself. i would love to be isolated from civilization in my own little bubble where i could live clear of disturbances. that said, that also does get depressing, ill admit. although im not the biggest fan of people, i need some life in my life.however, while i have relatively dreams and high hopes compared to you, schizoid anon, i do quite relate to that period in my life where i tried to fill the void in my existence by trying to force myself to care about people. i thought there was something deeply wrong with me that i wasn't able to form connections with people. by after countless attempts at trying to brute force empathy, ive just learnt it's not something i can do. i simply cannot have any long term interest or empathy for anyone else beyond a simple intellectual curiosity. many people have told me i am wrong for this and that i simply have to try harder, but i do think i am fundamentally different.
>>83744548>>83744472also, that said, most of my life is as well simply one of coasting around, scraping by to just live comfortable enough. recently, ive realized due to the extremely difficult, if not unachievable nature of my dreams, that perhaps it's simply better to live in my head as i do today, as that might simply be good enough. it's a possibility ive started to accept.
>>83744548>>83744560read between the answers you just gave meyour dream job implies knowing the unknowing, to somehow explain the "why?" of it all, of existanceyour dream house implies existance alone is enough, to shout to the void that you are simply a human BEing, not a human DO-ingDo whatever you can to achieve your dreams, anonWe've got this one life alone, no more no less
>>83744305I openly overshare but reveal nothing about my true self. I find people fascinating, not in a complex and mysterious way but in how different they can be from what you expect. If you think you know someone you are delusional, people put up a presentation when they are outside their house. You only really know someone when you see them in the comfort of their home and at their lowest moment when they turn to you for help. I do pick and choose who I'm interested in knowing more based on how agreeable and easygoing they are. While I find everyone interesting I can't invest in someone whose every interaction feels like torture. I also have a soft spot for people who do something for me since I feel indebted.
>>83744609we've got this one life, or we are filters that streamline the innate consciousness of matter into a human experience? who's to say? so many possibilities in this reality, what's to say any of them are true? what's to say i can make a difference or not? and either way, it does sound appealing to try and chase my dreams, but it is simply not in my nature to have a consistent work ethic. my dream house is one where i am isolated so that i may be free from the burden of dedicating my life to work. i think i might simply be content in a life of self exploration and observing.
>>83744623i agree, i suppose. most people who i enjoy talking to are mirrors of myself rather easygoing and freethinkers. any person can pique my interest if eccentric enough, but those types are simply the easiest for me to converse with. i don't like people who have a fiery spirit. anywho, for those reasons i like meeting peope mostly online since there pretexts of real life are not present and we are free to share the entirety of the contents of our mind under the protection of anonimity. rather comfy if you ask me.
>>83744636Funny, no?Mind of a philosopher but the body of a droneYou ever think about what kinda life you'd live pre-industrial society? I've always figured I'd have been a monk or a priest
>>83744684well i would say im quite thankful to modern society for making my existence so comfortable. i have to work so little for shelter, food and entertainment compared to what i would've had to do in previous times. as much as like to fantasize about the isolated self reliant lifestyles, the truth is that i could not do anything for myself without others, with such weak capabilities for navigating the physical world and such a weak strong ethic as i have.most realistically, i would've been a run of the mill serf/peasant, maybe i would've found some interest in religion or the mythical and would've joined the clergy though. maybe in a different upbringing, i would've had more of a inclination for such tasks.but you know what would truly be my ideal living situation?a town which consists of me, and a convenience store where i can just get food as i like to resume my solitary information hoarding activities.
>>83744305>once i carry the gist of it, i feel like there's not much to be explored in there.Why do you keep reaching out to meet new people then?
>>83744729>a town which consists of me, and a convenience store where i can just get food as i like to resume my solitary information hoarding activities.bahahaha, very Kantianwell, time to make it happen mon potedo the best you can right now and then live that sort of life in your twilight years
>>83744777im doing my best to live the comfiest life i can. unfortunately, my life right now is not quite comfy enough, but i believe ill make it there soon, and then ill be able to indulge all of my wildest hermit dreams.>>83744766because im an irrational being. i create this mental idea of every person i meet that comes off as passingly interesting to me, that they have the key to great knowledge that i have to access so i can enjoy never seen before wisdom set to revolutionize my understanding of life. until i realized that they are in fact just a person with ideas grounded in set constants.
>>83744820I am a bit annoyed because I recognize you and you ghosted me
>>83744830and who might i be?
>>83744837"Quin"
>>83744843ohhh, i thought you actually knew me for a second. better luck next time.
>>83744845But I know without a doubt it's you
>>83744852then let's be sure. where does "Quin" live?
>>83744859Texas, and you knew Patrick Crusius
>>83744868hahaha. i'm not even american. good try though.
fear of other people finding out about the bad things, like your fears or flaws that only you can notice
>>83744881i do sort of have this fear as well in a way. i heavily valued my inner mental map. but when someone comes along and gets to know me and figures out the ins and outs of my core set of ideas and beliefs, they are then open to criticism and attack, which makes me uneasy because it's hard to have to reanalyze and dismantle the logical system you were so sure of. though i suppose it is necessary, and in fact perhaps beneficial to the evolution of my line of thought.
>>83744872Really? Are you in Ireland then? Other contender is >>83744777 I am still 100% certain that person is/was in this thread
>>83744906i live in a europe, but ill give you a hint, my native language isn't even english.why are you so sure anyone here could be your (old) friend?
>>83744915Native language is Korean?I just know
>>83744915"i live in a" it's hard to type on mobile, I swear.
>>83744918no? what makes you think that?it's a european language...
>>83744929Okay. Only other person I can think of that fits that speaks French
>>83744935oh... ohh.. oh no he might know me
>>83744305perhaps you want to keep looking for that one person, anon
>>83744946that's the thing, there is no one person! "that one person" is a mere ever shifting mental construct in my head!
>>83744941Switzerland now right?
>>83744971oh, he doesn't know me.
>>83744900it's beneficial for you, but it's hard to get used to at first. we're not perfect and others can notice our flaws and help us grow, as long as they do it in a nice way.feeling judged doesn't really feel good but it can lead to improvement
>>83744980Sorry, I keep fucking up. I did the wrong SW country, it's Sweden
>>83744994i suppose it is. i wish i was better at taking judgement, but unfortunately i am heavily avoidant. i guess because my previous experiences of being judged weren't so preferable.sometimes, it makes me want to stop talking to people altogether, but the pressure gets too great and i eventually fold. i need someone to bounce ideas off of once in a while, like 4chan strangers.
>>83745005mm, he still doesn't know me. sorry!
>>83744935>>83745005Why are you talking about me all of a sudden? Am I becoming famous?
