Thread for discussions about selfharm and mutual supportheyya :D>How are you doing today?>Any plans for today?>When was the last time you hurt yourself?>Why did you hurt yourself?>Is there anything bothering you right now?
hellooHere's a bunch of helpful links>a long list of self harm alternatives (thank you muddy):https://imgur.io/a/7Q2zgw7>a first aid post cuting:https://www.lifesigns.org.uk/first-aid-for-self-injury-and-self-harm/>a wound care guide:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CsvJs8qNCVkHWHKekMSmCn6qn0GBEcgnq9fIqlA6Uv0/mobilebasic> bpd workbook:https://d-pdf.com/book/1781/read>a bpd Information Book (anon said it's exceptionally good)https://annas-archive.org/md5/1a4f329474320214a120a4d553c6b60c> bdbt (dialectical behavioral therapy)workbook is intended for BPD but can work for anyone:https://cursosdepsicologia.com.ar/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/THEDIA1.pdfPlease don't post any drastic images and if you have to, spoiler them
new thread IMG limit is back to normal>>83789556heya cat, how's it going?>>83785380> Madoka fentanyl shirtbased> it's not worth worrying about.agreed. Can't choose who you're born to at the very least> I'd rather teach because there are less hours and it's much lower stress.I'm considering whether or not I do it in the future. If I marry my gf who is going into an absurdly high earning field I'm probably going to stop worrying about trying to stay afloat earning high and just do what I feel like>so it's always a gift when people remember I exist.probably a good attitude to have to an extent, so long as you don't let people walk over you either> What happens next is anyone's guess.I think you're playing a long game now. Just hold yourself together and try to keep stable like you've been doing. i think there's some positive signs in there
Hey friends. I bought my first ever sketchbook today, gonna try my hand at drawing
>>83790083Have fun! I tried it a while back. Was able to do better than I expected, but takes so much time.What do you think you want to draw?
>>83790112I wanna get better at drawing faces for now. I had the idea of drawing like an anime-ish style mermaid from side profile and give her some scales and seaweed in her hair or something
>>83790155If you're doing anime style, faces shouldn't be too bad to get good at. Even I can do them with a lot of effort and time (and I have zero natural art skill). Took me a while to figure making a bunch of little strokes while sketching makes it easier to erase to the shape you want, which helped a lot as someone who always sucked at art>anime-ish style mermaidcome to think of it, don't think I've ever seen an anime mermaid save for the yugioh card so that sounds pretty neat
>>83790242I was gonna try drawing her looking over her shoulder with like a little smirk and fang overbite like a crocodile has if that makes sense
>>83790274>little smirk and fang overbiteyou mean the smug fang?
I'm trying to fall asleep but I'm not having much luck. Today marks a week without a breakdown. Thank you to everyone, again. I worry that I've taken a lot from thread thread and not given much back. I might have left this mortal plane without you guys.>>83789771>Can't choose who you're born to at the very leastIt's kind of scary when you think about how much stuff is an accident of birth. Guess you just have to roll with it. >I'm probably going to stop worrying about trying to stay afloat earning high and just do what I feel likeA friend of mine did this. She just bankrolled his PhD. He's a very lucky man. Do it if you can. >so long as you don't let people walk over you eitherGenerally speaking I can do that. Generally. >I think you're playing a long game now. Just hold yourself together and try to keep stable like you've been doing.I did a bit of sad posting today but nothing too major. Mostly just processing how I've felt recently. I think she's warming up to something but I have no idea what.>>83790083Remember that the most important thing is having fun.
>>83789560hey guys I went with my mom to the mall today >>83789771hey>IMG limit is backyayaypretty good bought more mochi x3>>83790083eyo>bought my first ever sketchbook today, gonna try my hand at drawinghave fun! and if you want to you could share some sketches with us!>>83790535helloo>week without a breakdown.good job to u!>taken a lot from thread thread and not given much backit not a transaction dw about it fren
>>83789556>heyya :D hiyaaa cat!!>How are you doing today?idk im in a very unstable mood but the day has been nice so far>Any plans for today?not especially, maybe get some schoolwork done>>83789771>new thread IMG limit is back to normal:D>>83790083>I bought my first ever sketchbook today, gonna try my hand at drawinggood luck!!!
>>83790630>hey guys I went with my mom to the mall todaydid you have any fun? ^^
Free 10 x pull and first new Uma I get is swimsuit Maruzensky. Not sure if I should be disappointed I didn't get someone completely new or happy because I kind of wanted her but refused to sink to pulling on the banner>>83790535>I worry that I've taken a lot from thread thread and not given much back.no worries at all! Anyone who is a regular is here because they like talking and want to help people like you and everyone else out. >when you think about how much stuff is an accident of birth. That's the part that's weird with my family since they have Catholicism mixed in, so they have to deny certain things when I feel like if they weren't pretending to be good Catholics they'd probably be more honest about not wanting sons> Do it if you can.I don't think I'd pursue high education unless I did it abroad since I don't want to go to school here again. Would be nice to be able to relax a little more within reason since corporate world sucks>Generally speaking I can do that. I know I struggled with it the longest time...>Mostly just processing how I've felt recently. nothing wrong with that either, just try to hold your head up while doing to the point it doesn't go too low. That's what matters most. And just hold on till you hear more>>83790630>pretty goodnice. My day isn't bad. Work is calm and may finally be able to drive out of here soon with the progress I made breaking ice>bought more mochi still getting the real kind? Glad you tried and are fond of them. There's a lot of Asian desserts that are odd on first pass, but really quite good>>83790638hi Meowster, how are you?>:Dso much easier to differentiate posters. Also feels wrong when cat can't post cats
>>83790824>hi Meowster, how are you?Not the best, feel like i dont have control over my own mind anymoreeee>so much easier to differentiate posters.mhm, i love posting pictures>Also feels wrong when cat can't post catsreal
I may play some sh3 hmm >>83790638hellu>very unstable moodoh man :<well but can you at least get into a stable environment like a warm blanket and watch a movie? >maybe get some schoolworkyou got a lot of it?>>83790647yep it was alright didn't do anything interesting though everything's too big for me>>83790824woo \o/>should be disappointednever>Work is calm andphew>progress I made breaking iceyou wont need to rartion food until summer comes :D>getting the real kind?I guess not the ice cream
>>83789556hey cat hru>>83772993well, that surely isn't the best way to find something to laugh at>>83775350>nothing rlly to sayi get you>receive in 2 weeks or somhm are they pricy? never looked for the price of anything like that>>83776152>could actually show how much i hate myself by destroying my bodybut why do you hate yourself? >with a leaflet telling me to sleep better??that's tragic really, some random normal people can help betterdo you think you could find a better therapist online maybe?>>83776177hey yuanon!>>83777226yo officeanon>hmm hope you manage to stabilizethanks!>Street is barely any better so not going anywhere soonmhm is it still like that now?>>83783647>is it muscle or spine related pain?idk i think i don't need to know a lotit's just because sit properly i think so it wasn't healthy maybe>>83784429>Get some rest and hope you feel better in the morningthanks mate>>83785380>Hopefully everything will be okay.thanks disanon
>>83791228>well but can you at least get into a stable environment like a warm blanket and watch a movie?im playing games w a friend rn but, idk i dont think i can run from it>you got a lot of it?i always have a lot of it, i keep getting sick and dreading it>everything's too big for mesame for meeeeeeee
im not diagnosed but i relate a bit too hard to BPD, maybe i was just traumatized in such a very specific way that resembles BPD a lot. Never self harmed but sometimes i have the ideation to do it, when im doing very bad but at worst i just scratch my skin with sth to distract myself. Is that a bad workaround, like the gateway to sh? Honestly im more into self sabotage and drugs instead of physical sh
>>83791499you should be careful wit hthat, im not very knowledgeable but, if you can cry or other things, do that instead. Be careful with self sabotage and drugs too anon
>>83791105>feel like i dont have control over my own mindhave any idea why? or just feeling that way. Honestly, not that unusual. Thoughts can come and go from nowhere, just remember you can control what you do however> i love posting picturesas do I after I stopped posting only groundhogs>>83791228>neverit's better than pulling the same I've been pulling for months with no success I suppose>you wont need to rartion food until summer comeswould be hard pressed to make that work either way. At that I'd walk somewhere for food>not the ice creamnice. It's been a long time since I had the real type. Or ice cream kind for that matter too >>83791345hey rm, how's it going?>mhm is it still like that now?there's still a lot of snow everywhere, but more people are driving now. I've been digging out more and more each day for about an hour at a time. I think after tomorrow I should be able to get my car on the road>>83791499hi anon>im not diagnosed diagnosis is just a diagnosis. Was of describing certain patterns that can be there with or without, so no need to worry too much over.>when im doing very bad but at worst i just scratch my skin with sth to distract myself. if you're not breaking the skin and you feel satisfied after(not feeling compelled to push further), it really doesn't sound that bad yet. I'd be more concerned about the ideation and that progressing. I think how you feel and reaction to what you're doing is key here.>self sabotage and drugshonestly could cause more permanent than actual cutting
>>83791345because i didn't sit properly*>>83791654>think after tomorrow I should be able to get my car on the roadahai heard some people died is that true?anyways take care officeanon>how's it going?it wasn't the best day and currently i'm tired as fuck, barely slept last two dayshow are you?
>>83790354Lol kinda but with her mouth closed
>>83791654>just remember you can control what you do howeveri knowww>have any idea why?just weird urges, dont know whyhru officeanon?
>>83791345helloI'm wellI went to the mall with my mom today and not much else other thatn thatwbu?>>83791388>playing games w a friendthat's nice ^^ watcha playing?>dont think i can run from itmaybe but chilling can help you get through it>always have a lot ofD:same as me lolbest of luck :<>same for meyep :cit's very annoying so because of that I have to buy online and pay for shipping and hope it fits >:/>>83791499hello>relate a bit too hard to BPD,maybe you could check out how diagnosis work and how and where to get checked by a doctor?>>83791654>better than pulling the sameyep and btw do you have to pay for that?>walk somewhere for foodhow far do you have to the nearest store >time since I had the real type. Or ice cream kindwhen could you get some??
>>83791916cute vid>I'm wellglad to hear that!>went to the mall with mhm did you have fun?(i still didn't go on a walk.. the meeting with some students got cancelled today. i thought it's okay i'll go on a walk later but i didn't yet)>wbu?i think i'm well though it was a very tiring day both mentally and physicallydidn't do anything interesting todayi was just having soup minutes before
>>83791846>i heard some people died is that true?probably. I didn't hear anything around me, but people always die in snow storms and this one covered most of the US and was super severe. People die in the cold(including homeless who don't really get reported), people die in accidents driving, and people die when power goes out and try to do something to warm homes. People think snow looks pretty, but lots of ugly stuff that comes with it> take careI'm all good. No worries. Just excited to get out of the house when I can>barely slept last two daysthoughts keeping you up or something?>how are you?I'm okay. Done with work and playing rhythm games and watching the thread basically. >>83791894Yeah I get what you mean lol Just couldn't help it since I'm a big fan of the anime fang>>83791916>just weird urges, dont know whyhm that thing comes and goes I guess. Just hang in there.>hru tired from a long day at work. Was playing rhythm games but my thumbs are sore so time to call it quits I guess >>83791916>and btw do you have to pay for that?you don't have to. I still am free to play and just save or wait till special events that let me. I've never spent real world money on gatcha even I'm tempted. Drop rates still suck even paying>how far do you have to the nearest storeprobably 15 minute walk on foot. Only problem is still icy and snowy with a lot sidewalks still now clear so might be unpleasant. But should come to that>when could you get some??next time I go to an asian store maybe. Have alot of those around, just haven't felt like driving out
>>83792112>including homeless who don't really get reported:/that's really tragicdo snow storms usually happen in the US?>Just excited to get out of the house when I canmhm glad to hear that!>thoughts keeping you up or something?not exactly i just had to keep myself awake so i dont ruin my schedule and also i had to study and wake up early but i slept late yesterday so i barely sleptbut i'm going to bed now>Done with work>and watching the thread basicallysounds cozy lolbtw you had to work at home?
>>83791971>cute vidI love cats :3>did you have fun?eh it was okay but all the clothes are too big for me :< >still didn't go on a walkig you can always go tomorrow or on caturday! do you have some place in mind you wanna walk to?>tiring day both mentally and physicallyat least it's the weekend soon right?>didn't do anything interesting todaythat's okay >was just having soup minutes beforewhat soup?>>83792112>still am free to playphew, good>never spent real world moneyand yes better keep it that way :< >probably 15 minute walk on foot.oh so not bad >snowy with a lot sidewalkssnowy is okay, it actually helps, but icy is pain>next time I go to an asianhope they have em o7btw u accidentally (you)d me twice
>>83791916>that's nice ^^ watcha playing?pubg>maybe but chilling can help you get through ityeahh, im thankful im at home rn>best of luck :<thanks :]>same as me loldont burn yourself out cat>so because of that I have to buy online and pay for shipping and hope it fits >:/annoying, idrc i like everything oversizedmy hoodie is like an XXL or an XL, i love it
>>83792266>love catssurely we all know (we all do aswell) :D>all clothes are big for meD:so you didn't buy anything?>tomorrow or on caturdaytrue if i felt like it>places in mindyep there is a garden and uhh i know beautiful places>weekend soona weekend... this week was so strange really>what soupidk if it has a specific name but anyways it's good :]i had a quiz like 17 hours ago and felt so bad after it then i gradually started being normal againmy head is spinning right now
Hopefully we hit image limit a little slower this time around. >>83789556Hallo /cat/>>How are you doing today?Pretty good, made lasagna and worked out. Also read picrel.>>Any plans for today?To continue reading and do some calisthenics to tire myself out before bed.>>When was the last time you hurt yourself?December.>>Why did you hurt yourself?Anxiety over passing college.>>Is there anything bothering you right now?I was supposed to get 2k from the government as part of a grant for students, but got denied since I finished my program. The money is gonna sit there for me in 2 years when I enroll again, but it's still a piss off since I needed the money to get driving lessons. That, and I've been 2+ weeks out the gym now since the weathers been dogass. Snow is finally cleared up enough so I'll walk tommorow morning and hit push.>>83789771Hallo officeanon>I'm considering whether or not I do it in the future.It seems very rewarding from what teachers tell me, but the non-teaching portions and bureaucracy get real annoying. I've never wanted to be a teacher, but creating kids programming (like for PBS kids) used to be my dream job. I felt disappointed with the quality of what I'd grown up on vs what was available for my younger relatives, and improving that seemed like good fun.>>83790535Hallo discanon>Today marks a week without a breakdown.Swag, when they've been gone a while you're probably gonna stay stable. You'll start finding it silly if anything with enough distance.>>83791916>I went to the mall with my mom todayCalm.I really want to learn Judo, but finding anything worthwhile will be 2 hours away in Toronto. I'll try and find something closer by asking around friends, but it's not likely.
>>83791894whoops. I replied to this here: >>83792112But ended up copied cats post twice D:>>83792235>do snow storms usually happen in the US?where I live we get a few every year but rarely this bad. Some places are bad every year though. Big thing here is it's cold this whole month every year and feels miserable>keep myself awake so i dont ruin my scheduleyeah remember you mentioning but thought you were done. Take care and get some rest soon if you can>btw you had to work at home?yeah, usually do a few days a week either way. This week whole week since the storm>>83792266> better keep it that wayHonestly, i used to agree, but I've softened on the idea more. Think I said it before, but people will spend fees every month to play some games, but squeamish spending money on gatcha. I get way more enjoyment playing that free to play game than many things I do spend money on, so wouldn't see it as too bad>snowy is okayit is when it's very deep. I sunk into it today in my yard and it came up past my boot>hope they have emsure they do. I've managed to get taiyaki (the fish pastry with red bean paste!) mochi should be easy>btw u accidentally (you)d me twiceoops D: thanks for heads up
>>83791912Replied to this here >>83792112which i got wrong again. I think I'm going crazy now, I keep clicking the wrong post
>>83792429>Hopefully we hit image limit a little slower this time around.highly unlikely. I think if anything it's a good thing, since this most active this thread has probably ever been> it's still a piss off since I needed the moneysorry to hear. Never a good situation to be in. Do you have a car you could use if you got through driving school? >Snow is finally cleared up enoughstill huge blocks of it on the road and almost no cleared their side walks this time. I always worry I'll be late to get it but feel like no one tried this time>seems very rewarding from what teachers tell me,i'd want to do it college level though, since lower than that don't think i'd either suit it or really enjoy it. lower levels feel like it would be too much of a shit show to deal with here> I'll walk tommorow morning and hit pushhope you have a good workout and get into again easily enough
>>83792538lol its okay, made me giggle atleast>>83792112>hm that thing comes and goes I guess. Just hang in there.I suppose, thanks>tired from a long day at work.do you like your work? I don't keep tabs on anyone much so>Was playing rhythm games but my thumbs are sore so time to call it quits I guessWhich games? ^^Rhythm games are fun, although my forearms get sore from them
>>83792603>made me giggle atleastglad my failing to reply not once, but twice was amusing to someone lol>do you like your work?nah, not so much. I'm lucky to have the job I do, but it's draining, stressful, and often keeps me late. Feel like the past few years the one constant has been me complaining about work>Which games? Project Diva because I like Vocaloid a whole lot. Play that at home on PC, project sekai on my phone when in the office sometimes, and then the arcade rhythm games like maimai and taiko when i go out on the weekend. >although my forearms get sore from themyeah, feel that too. Saddest part is on Saturdays I'll go weightlifting, then the arcade later in the day and will sometimes feel my arms start to burn really badly suddenly while playing the games from agitating. Apparently you shouldn't weight lift and play rhythm games same day. Think I'm in a very small percentage of people who have ever had that problem...
my eyelids are begging to feel heavy I think I'm under some kind of spell, I think goodnight all! mimimimi>>83792315>my hoodie is like an XXLthat biiig, that's basically a skirt >>83792399>>83792399>you didn't buy anythingnope>head is spinning right nowmaybe you could take some pills for that?I hate that feeling >>83792429heyo>image limit a little slower this time around.it took a week last time ^^so I'm not sure how likely that is>>83792484>spend fees every month to play some gamesI guess maybe tactic is to not pay for anything >:3
>>83791345>it's just because sit properly i think so it wasn't healthy maybei see. i was just asking since there's different things you could try if you thought it's spine related. everything else is just muscles not being strong enough.
>>83792952oh heyo yuanon how's it?I'll be going to slep soon
>>83792968>how's it?bad>I'll be going to slep soongood night. i'll sleep soon, too.
>>83792704>glad my failing to reply not once, but twice was amusing to someone lolyeah :]>but it's draining, stressful, and often keeps me late.hope that improves then, or you find an even better job later down the line>then the arcade later in the dayoooo arcades are fun :D>Think I'm in a very small percentage of people who have ever had that problem...lol probably, i often have sore forearms when playing geometry dash, its very annoying, that or finger pain>>83792836>I think I'm under some kind of spell, I think. goodnight all! mimimimigoodnight!!! :3>that biiig, that's basically a skirterm, i guess you're right lol... but it makes me feel less insecure>>83793005>good night. i'll sleep soon, too.sleep well yuanon!!
>>83793005ow what's bad? and if you don't wanna say, just remember we're here wishing you the best so ur not alone >>83793088I just don't think I could pull it off but it's good you like it and I'm sure you'll look nice ^^
Well fuck me i thought this was supposed to be a thread where cutie patootie foids showed their battle scars. Peace out niggers
>>83793088hi meowster!>sleep wellthanks. i'll do my best. o7>>83793188>if you don't wanna saynot today. sorry. maybe another time.>we're here wishing you the best so ur not alonethanks. that means a lot.
>>83792836goodnight cat, no need to force yourself awake> not pay for anything have to spend that money on something!>>83792952>>83793005hey yuanon, sorry you feeling down... Hope sleep does you some good. Will see you soon>>83793088>hope that improves thenthank you! I'm opting for looking for a new one. Don't expect things to look up when they've been getting worse for years>oooo arcades are funI love them! The rhythm games and claw games. Problem is I keep winning those lol>sore forearms when playing geometry dashhad to look this up but looks fun. I'd say I'd probably suck at this, but it's what I said about the other games before I got addicted!
>>83793188>I just don't think I could pull it off but it's good you like it and I'm sure you'll look nice ^^im sure you could, and thanks>>83793312>hi meowster!hiiii>thanks. i'll do my best. o7goodluckk!!>>83793481>thank you! I'm opting for looking for a new one.best of luck with that>Problem is I keep winning those lolsuffering from success>but it's what I said about the other games before I got addicted!it's a fun game ^^ I've been playing it for years
>>83789556hi everyone!>How are you doing today?ok i just woke up from a nap. fell asleep while my friend was around. just made a chicken adobo cheese melt, i havent eaten a meal yet. yummy >Any plans for today?going back to sleep and waking up early tomorrow>When was the last time you hurt yourself?last night>Why did you hurt yourself?ive been having a rough few weeks, crying constantly, barely eating or talking to anyone and the only thing getting me excited is the thought of killing myself. so ive usually been cutting daily or multiple times a day, surprised i didnt do it today>Is there anything bothering you right now?i wanna cry so bad but i cant. repressing feelings a lot rn and feeling unloveable. and i hate my lack of empathy, i wish i could care more for others. whenever someone is upset, especially a friend of mine i just feel complete disdain for them and it sucks. not sure how im meant to form close relationships when something so important as empathy is missing from me>>83791345>but why do you hate yourself?i dont know but my self hate motivates so much of what i do. i believe that i am genuinely subhuman. i guess its probably related to upbringing/trauma or something>do you think you could find a better therapist online maybe?yeah i think i could but idk where to start and money is a problem, private is so expensive. i had some free online counselling a while ago, it wasnt very helpful but it was free so i cant really complain. looking into it is probably a good idea though instead of waiting endlessly for useless healthcare
>>83789556I havent cut since 2020 but I just punched and destroyed a fan with my fist and my second knuckle from the right of my right knuckle wont stop bleeding.haha baby I am sucking the blood and want to fucking destroy it even more but I got a part time job to look normal at.Anyways I gotta buy a training dummy to punch this is ridiculous xD
everything is so itchy all the time aaa
I've recently started a really bad habit of puking everytime, i eat too much. i know it's really unhealthy, i just know I'll never be good enough if i eat the way that I do.
I hurt my back. I thought I was too young for this shit. Is it over for me?
>>83794282Like you're making yourself vomit on purpose? Or just by overeating? A healthy relationship to food can be tricky if you lose it>>83794521What happened? You okay?
>>83794576on purpose. im disgusting i know, my teeth and throat are disgusting.
Didn't have the best sleep but I'll be fine. Probably. Hope you're all doing well.>>83790630Hi /cat/, did you get anything nice at the mall?>>83790824I need to play Umamusume again. But maybe I should wait until I'm done with work.>because they like talking and want to help people like you and everyone else out. I'll try to stick around. I want to help too, even if it's just talking about stuff.>if they weren't pretending to be good Catholics they'd probably be more honest about not wanting sonsEven though my parents deny it it's pretty obvious which one prefers which child...>since corporate world sucksI'm not sure if survive in it. I need to be doing stuff at my own pace. >And just hold on till you hear moreI heard some more last night. At least I think I did. It's steeped in metaphor so it's hard to know for sure. >>83792429>when they've been gone a while you're probably gonna stay stableThat's the hope. I was able to go years without one even during pretty low times. Hopefully the last month or so has been the exception rather than the rule.>>83793691Sorry to hear you're going through the wringer, anon. Hopefully stuff picks up for you. Or you'll be able to cry again because I find that helps a lot.>>83794656What makes you feel like you have to?
>>83794656You're not disgusting my friend. But please do be careful with that. If you have the energy to, brush your teeth after it, I heard vomit will like, eradicate your teeth slowly, since its stomach acid too. I'm not a doctor tho, could be wrong. But please be careful?
replying in the morning tired as a bitch
>>83794774>pretty obvious which one prefers which childEveryones got favorites, so I wouldn't be bugged too much by it. Better than them having regrets about you being born outright...>>83793768>Anyways I gotta buy a training dummy to punchFilling a bag with clothes or a ricebag is also an alright choice if you wanna save money. I used one for a while.>>83792952Hallo yuanon, end up reading fire punch?>>83792836>not sure how likely that isI give it 6 days this time.>>83792572>car you could useYeah I do, could finally start doing electrical work with a license. It's not a legal requirement, but it's impractical getting site-to-site otherwise.>lower levels feel like it would be too much of a shit show to deal withFair enough, probably a lot more impersonal but that has it's own benefits.>hope you have a good workoutIt'll probably be ass since I'll have no sleep waking up at 6, but it'll set me up for better days.
>>83792484>this whole month and feels miserableoh so that's why you don't like snow that much no? it sounded like you weren't very happy xD>get some rest soonyup, glad i have time for that>This week whole week since the stormso is it hard work aswell at home?>>83792836>eyelids heavythe best condition to sleep don't you think?>nopeoh D:>some pillsoh no need it probably was just because i needed to sleep>>83792952hey yuanon>everything else is just muscles not being strong enoughaha that's fair and it makes sense in my situation how are you?>>83793005>badwhy??wanna talk about it?>>83793691>genuinely subhumanthere's no such thing as "subhuman". you're going through something that could happen to anyone perhapshold yourself together>traumais there any thing you're sure of? like did anything cause you trauma?>looking into it is probably a good ideai think yeah, good luck anon!>>83793691>rough weeksi hear you.. wanna talk more about it? we can listen
last post was three hours ago but it's still page 3.. a slow day it seems
bumpster B)
helloo guys >>83795433heywassup?>give it 6 days this timethat's still a lot of time >>83795712hellohow r y today? :D
>>83796437bumpster!>>83796446hey cat!hru?>how r y today?fine ig not much happened today yetthough i accidentally saw something related to my friend like more than one hour agoi almost crumbled but i got distractedbut i forgot about it for some time and now it doesn't do the same damagei'll go on a walk today probably :Dalso i have like 4 quizzes next week and i should study but i don't feel like it so i'll take a break today i guess, might study later at night but who knowswhat about you?
>>83793559>best of luck with thatthank you. Might take a while since the US economy is collapsing in real time>suffering from successthere's so only so many places you can put Hatsune Miku figures before they're everywhere> I've been playing it for yearsnice, cool you can still find entertainment with it>>83793691>a chicken adobo cheese meltsounds really really good. You like cooking?>feel complete disdain for them is this something that developed or sort of how you always felt?>>83793768Wanting to punch something isn't that unreasonable, I think buying something suited for it is a wise idea though>>83794282what do you feel is wrong with how you eat?>>83794521Is it cold where you are? Could honestly make you more susceptible to hurting your back. Muscles and padding in the spine are much more prone to injury in winter regardless of age
>>83794774>Didn't have the best sleep but I'll be finegood luck with what you have going on! I had a hard time getting up but still the damn cold> wait until I'm done with work.probably be wise. Tends to be a blackhole for time for me>even if it's just talking about stufhonestly what I think vast majority of people need and all we really can do here either way.> pretty obvious which one prefers which child.it's a shitty thought, but also one that I think is hard to pretend isn't true even with good parents. Just kinda normal, though most good would try best to hide out of love, which I don't believe plays favorites itself, even if preferences are evident on who they are more proud of etc. I became convinced the problem is my dad is a bit of a loser who genuinely didn't want his sons to be better and make him feel like a loser at life in comparison. Bitter pathetic man > not sure if survive in it.Half of survival is luck and the other half is being buddy buddy with people who make decisions. I've just been lucky> it's hard to know for sure.hmm i'd say don't overthink it till things are more clear then>>83795433>Yeah I dothat's good then. Making sure it made sense to bother getting the license in the first place was all. Think just have to do whatever you can. And I hear you on making things easier. I can't imagine finding work without a car>lot more impersonal but that has it's own benefits.i think depends. Lecturers at universities are quite personable and get to know students well. It's only typically impersonal since most PhD's want zero to do with students>no sleep waking up at 6,good luck all the same. Don't overdo it on so little rest
>>83795712> that's why you don't like snow that much no? I hate snow. Don't like being stuck inside and restricted with what I can or can't do>so is it hard work aswell at home?yes. Being home or at work makes zero difference in what I'm doing honestly. Same work and constant stress>>83796436everyone was just sleeping probably>>83796446heya cat, have a good day
>>83796689>restricted with what I can or can't dooh so you feel free in summer? >work makes zero difference in what I'm doing honestlyyou work in something tech-related right? guess it makes sense do you have work today?>everyone was just sleeping probablylazy r9k
>>83789556im doing awful. i just randomly quit my job for no reason. i cant even enjoy video games anymore because i havfe brain damage from punching myself in the head and now i hit the wrong keys when im gaming. last time i hurt myself was probably 6 months ago. i hurt myself because my job gives me no direction or clarity on what they wanted and so id do my best and then get punished because they had invisible expectations they didnt tell me. such is the way of an office job. id get so stressed because i know the more i dont meet their invisible standards the closer i was getting to being fired so i just quit after they threatened a pip.im bothered by the fact that it was a well regarded company and the only positions that have been calling me back are shitty poorly rated local small businesses. ive essentially ruined my career and life forever. i didnt give my 2 weeks or anything i just left. now i have a gap in my resume, and they wont recommend me. im thinking about going to a psych ward but i dont have insurance anymore so im not sure i can afford it and from what ive heard nothing really gets better they just drug you up, make you paint, and shove you out.i really hope people respond because i dont have anyone. any advice is appreciated.
>>83797303hey anonchill and maybe we can find a solution, i know it's hard but try to hold yourself togetherokay so firstly you said you quit your job for no reason and that's not true because as you said you might just get fired also that's a terrible job you had i'd recommend finding a new one if i knew someone who had such jobif that actually "ruined" your life then it's not your fault that you left it since you were getting fired anyways as you saidand hopefully it won't ruin your life.now what's wrong with poorly rated local small businesses? don't they pay well?and for your brain i think you should check out a doctor really, the thing is really dangerous anon don't let it go just like thatand i sadly don't know much about psych wards but i believe you can find a better solution.keep us updated or just talk when you needgood luck, anon!
playing minecraft ^^>>83796494>almost crumbled but i got distractedoh no :<but I'm glad you're able to focus on something else and it helps you feel a bit better >go on a walk today probably :Dhow did it go??>have like 4 quizzesbest of luck!>like it so i'll take a break todayI think that's a good decision >might study later at nightI feel you should try to get a good night's rest, I think it'll help you out more then studying
>>83789556>>How are you doing today?Pretty poor. i have a job lined up but they haven't gotten back to me for my onboarding. I interviewed for a better job, but i don't think I got it.>>Any plans for today?I was thinking of seeing avatar.>>83798326hi cat>playing minecraft ^^have fun!
>>83798326seems like the brown cat loves the creeperbtw hru cat?>and it helps you feel a bit betterthanks!>how did it goit was good :D>I think that's a good decisionyeah maybe>I think it'll help you out more then studyingtrue i'm already feeling lazy so i might just sleep before i try to study lol
>>83796689helloI'm goodhow are you?>>83797303hello anon>randomly quit my job for nohonestly it doesn't sound random to me, it sounds like you had a lot of reasons to leave that place >havfe brain damage from punching myselwow that's baddo you think it's at least partially reversible?>ruined my career and lifedoes it matter to you a lot?>they wont recommend mefuck thenand you won't recommend them either z they sound like an awful place to work, of anything I feel you should actually voice your discontentment with it and leave a negative review or something And when it comes to a gap in your resume, I mean, do you think hiring people would understand if you said that it's because you quit your job due to poor treatment, also that negative review could work as evidence for that>nothing really gets betterit helps some people for sure mostly in cases with some awful addiction or people who really need to be restrained and held back from doing something bad But if you don't feel like you need that then it likely won't help, btw that's just my opinion I'm not sure what you could do now, how long would you be able to live without a job? maybe you could go to some local one just to see how it is, at the very least it might get you some money to keep going btw man I absolutely hate with a passion corporate hierarchy and general awfulness If I ever work at a place like that for an extended period of time it won't end wellespecially when I'm like 30 and have nothing to lose, just thinking about it makes my blood boil like nothing else I think
>>83798402>brown cat loves the creeperhe doesn't know they explode aaaa >btw hru cat?I'm good, I just stayed at home and played sh3 and minecraft today I'm thinking about maybe taking a bus to the city center tomorrow just because and going on a walk there>was good :Doo what did ya see??>might just sleep before i try to study lolwhat I mean is sleeping through the night with help you feel better and more focused when studying tomorrow and also won't tire you out so you also won't feel as tried and sleepy when studying on sunday
>>83798395hey hey>Pretty poorsorry to hear that how does your job situation look like btw?because I'm not sure if seeing it clearly So you don't have a job now? and you're looking for a good new one?do you have enough money to live?>thinking of seeing avatardoesn't sound like a bad Ideawhen's the last time you went to watch a movie?
>>83798435>he doesn't know they explodehe's so clueless>I'm good, I just stayed at home andmhm did you have fun?>and going on a walk therea walk in the city center!you like going on walks in faraway places?>oo what did ya see??i saw a white cat and i think it lives in a house maybe they let her go outside the house. some people are like that here i supposei saw 2 orange cats i thinkdidn't see so much interesting things but i had fun>when studyingyou're righti guess i'll call it a day without studying today :Ddude.. i miss these calm days
>>83798563>he's so cluelessD;>did you have fun?yep :D>you like going on walks in faraway places?not really I prefer bike rides and but it's winter so I cant bike ride :<so I go on little walks sometimes >white cat>saw 2 orange catsaww cute!>didn't see so much interesting thingswell I feel like just being outside and feeling the wind and hearing the noises is enough >call it a day without studying today :D\o/so what chill things are you going to do?>miss these calm dayshope u get more of them fren
>>83798452>how does your job situation look like btw?I got accepted into a part time security position, but they're taking forever to "onboard" me. I applied for this skydiving position and went to a group interview yesterday, but they asked a few people to stay back while telling the rest of us that they'll get back to us.>do you have enough money to live?I do, but I really rather work again.>when's the last time you went to watch a movie?my friends had me see the second fnaf movie. Last year was actual a more frequent movie year for me, I saw sinners and chainsaw man in theathers.
good evening everyone! gonna nap or play pgr or practice piano or cut or something. today has been rough, ive been feeling my brain shut down. its so difficult to think. mental illness takes so much from me. sometimes i wonder what kind of things i couldve achieved if i wasnt struggling to live all the time>>83794774thank you, i hope so too. i wanna cry so badly i hate how repressed everything is>>83794282please be careful anon, purging sucks. ur not disgusting i promise and i hope ur relationship with food/ur body improves.. its a lot to deal with>>83795712>no such thing as "subhuman"yeah i know. its very irrational but thinking like this is way too ingrained into me>is there any thing you're sure of? like did anything cause you trauma?my memories are extremely unclear and repressed most the time, and a lot of the time i doubt anything really happened to me. i dont really want to believe these kind of things happened to me. i was (or at least think that i was) abused for a lot of my life, sexually, physically etc. it makes it hard for me to care about myself>good luck anon!thanks! :)>>83796562>You like cooking?yep i like cooking and kinda like baking. i really like packing lunches as well, making food is a very direct form of caring for someone/myself. id love to cook for someone one day it seems so sweet to do>is this something that developed or sort of how you always felt?ive always felt a separation from others and cant really form close connections, but over the last few years my ability to feel empathy or care towards others have faded. its weird, i used to feel too much care for others and kept trying to play therapist. but i think that burned out a lot of that ability. i dont want to be a cruel person still, when my friends ask me for help or vent to me i do try, but it just feels fake. i know what to and what not to say but theres very little in me that cares how theyre feeling. others seem so boring to me
i discussed politics with my family and i regret that.. not because they had different opinions or anythingit's just that i said a lot of things i would like to keep for myself usually, i don't really mind if my family knew what i said it's just that my brother-in-law heard the thing and im not used to talk a lot infront of himi also hate talking a lot to people anyways i hate it so much it makes me feel very overwhelmed afterward *screaming* i know it's strange but im feeling so bad i hate when i get hyped infront of people it makes me so bad that i used to vent out to my friend about it
>>83798741>prefer bike rides and but it's winter so I cant bike rideaha i wanna have a bike ride too honestlythough is there a lot of snow there? or is it only because it's cold?>and feeling the wind and hearing the noises is enoughi think that's the important point sometimesbeing under the same conditions everyday without feeling some natural air can be bad>so what chill things are you going to do?hmm i wanna play more before sleeping>hope u get more of them frenthank you!!>>83799291>way too ingrained into mei understand that but try to change it, anonnegative self-talk can be so bad not only irrational>abusedi read the whole thing. i wish i could do more than talking to help youso firstly kill the doubt, i know words make it look easier but how about you start believing that something has happened and just leave the burden of doubt? or maybe just give yourself excuses for the strange feelings you have or acts you do lately (not everything of course, doing that can lead some people into doing terrible things, i think you know that already i just felt like i need to say this)i don't know if that's very useful for you. i hope that helped.i might make another reply for that so i could say other things that may help, i'm a bit busy right now>thanksyou're welcome!feel free to talk any time, maybe even you could get my discord or smthn maybe i could use it again if u wanna talk and stuff
>>83797820thanks for replying sorry i fell asleep. im on new meds and they knock me out. the smaller businesses usually aren't as strict as big businesses when it comes to standards of who they hire and professionalism from what ive experienced. this means people will likely be worse character wise and treat me worse. also yea pay and benefits will be worse. but due to being a sperg i cant climb the ranks to better companies so im just hard stuck in this mediocre bracket of like b tier companies even though i have good knowledge and skills of my field. now i have a gap in my resume so it just looks bad. i have family that know people that are recruiters that say if there's a gap then they just throw the resume away. im getting scans done but it's very clear im much mentally slower i get words and keys mixed up and struggle to spell things which was never a problem before. i was dianogsed with multiple concussions over the last few years so there's no doubt in my mind i have this. ive been avoidant of getting scans because i dont want to accept whats gone and i can never get back. but a job that pressures me and puts me in a state of uncertainty to the point that i self harm out of fear of making decisions or doing work is not a place i want to stay. as for meds im just maxxing sedatives as much as i can within reason. im consulting a professional and they help me not feel so afraid and i dont self harm. they seem like the healthiest of coping mechanisms over other stuff people do like drugs or alcohol. so im going to request to up the prescriptions until im able to function like every other npcim lying to myself and saying neuroplasticity will come in over time and negate the brain damage but i know thats not true. i dont have friends, or a relationship, or close family. all i really had was my games and now ive lost that. i used to be so fast. i miss that. ive learned that life and people will take everything they can so give them nothing.
Evening everyone, I had another day breakdown-free. I hope you're all doing alright.>>83795433>Better than them having regrets about you being born outright...Yeah, that's true.I hope that's not something you've heard...>>83796684>Tends to be a blackhole for time for meI'm pretty sure I lost entire days to it as well.>though most good would try best to hide out of loveI think mine tried their best to do that but it was still very obvious.>genuinely didn't want his sons to be better and make him feel like a loser at life in comparisonThat sucks. I'm sorry to hear that.>the other half is being buddy buddy with people who make decisionsI dread office politics. I'm usually able to get by by looking like a lost child but I'm not sure how long I can keep doing that.>don't overthink it till things are more clear thenI'll try my best not to.>>83797303I'm not sure how helpful it is but if you have the means getting another qualification or professional certificate that might help make up for the resume gap. I have some year-long ones in mine.>>83799291Sorry to hear today's been rough. Hopefully tomorrow will be better!>i wanna cry so badly i hate how repressed everything isIt's kind of cheating but mint/menthol near my eyes is usually enough to start crying. If you're really desperate you could try that.>>83799311I think I know what you mean. I get worried that I've shared too much sometimes as well, since I'm usually a very private person.
>>83796562>thank you. Might take a while since the US economy is collapsing in real timerip, just in time for us>there's so only so many places you can put Hatsune Miku figures before they're everywherelol true, same goes for stuffed animals>nice, cool you can still find entertainment with ityeah its awesome ^^i hope i can become really good at it one dayim so bored, and feel like shit
>>83798414hello>do you think it's at least partially reversible?no this was done over the span of id say 4-5 years so its likely permanent. i did it while having concussions from previous ones so its just fucked. >does it matter to you a lot?yea it's how i make money. id be a night shift security guard if the pay was survivable but with inflation and the economy it's just not compared to this especially. it also mattered to me a lot growing up i was one of those morons that believed that meme of the nerd and the woman in school vs out of school with him in like a suit telling her to fuck off. now ive learned work is just like school but worse and no one has matured. the bullies still run shit im just the loser that gets delegated the work and the scapegoat for people not doing their job. if i stand up or provide proof i get threatened with a pip and given negative feedback. i worked my ass off to get into big name companies and once i realized it's all bullshit ive felt lost the last several years. i dont really know what to do. i really thrived in college and once i realized the adult world doesnt operate like college ive lost all hope. basically i have to do the methods and mindsets that enabled me to pass high school in corporate america and i was the saddest in my life during school. so im struggling coping with this being my life for 40 years >voice your discontentment with it and leave a negative review or somethingi agree with you and appreciate your support sadly this would make me look bad in the eyes of other companies. its this bullshit social game. >people who really need to be restrained and held back from doing something badyea i was getting there my meds make me not do that anymore. my goal is to just be medicated out the ass so i can manage and not break down mentally or emotionally. bonus points if i can feel mentally like im on vacation with whatever medications they put me on.
It was not a good day and I'm tired>>83796716> feel free in summer?a bit more. Easier to go new places, more going on, and can go outside and walk. I hate winter so much. Just not enough to do here when it's this cold and snowy>you work in something tech-related right? yeah, software development>do you have work today?unfortunately yes, but it's over>>83798414>how are you?started okay but i'm just happy tomorrow is saturday. I'm so exhausted >hate with a passion corporate hierarchy and general awfulnessvery relevant for my experiences today>>83798770>i like cookingi love cooking. you have a favorite dish or even cuisine you like to make things from?>like packing lunches as wellas do i. One of the favorite parts of going to work for me is meal prep> love to cook for someone one dayit is an extra special experience that makes it all the more worthwhile of a skill to have. Even if not a romantic partner, always ways to get a chance to if you look for them>over the last few yearscould it be from struggles forming connections? I think that's a fairly normal experience sadly.. The thing with feeling lonely and disconnected is becomes harder and harder to be a "nice" person if you feel unhappy with your relations with people> dont want to be a cruel personi don't think you necessarily are, I think maybe you need to put your own feelings first sometimes though and perhaps you hadn't always by the sound of it. do you feel anyone listens to you like you'd listen to them? or be open if you tried to speak about this? know it's a sensitive thing to discuss issues like this
I wanted to eat some sprats and so I got three of them but I ended up eating two because one of them blew up when I was microwaving them hehe x3 >>83798770>but they're taking forever to "onboard" me.hm I hope they get their butts to work and hire you soon>skydiving position oo that's pretty out there >do, but I really rather workI know I just wanted to know if you need help or if you'll be fine for a while >chainsaw man in theathersooh ok so pretty recently >>83799291hello o/>gonna nap or play pgrhave fun :>>practice pianowoa you have a piano?>been feeling my brain shut downthat sucks, hope the nap helps you>>83799311I get what you mean that why I don't talk about it at all though it makes me cringe at the dumb stuff I hear them say>>83799441>wanna have a bike ridehopefully spring comes soon>snow there? or is it only because it's cold?both also it gets dark and cold very early >feeling some natural air can be badyep and boring>play more before sleepingwhat u playin?>thank you!!np ^^>>83799753evenin>day breakdown-free. woo yayay \o/>I hope you're all doing alright.I am :3
>>83799753>I'm pretty sure I lost entire days to it as well.as did I. Though biggest memory was how slow I used to take career mode. First play through with Daiwa Scarlet I was on the edge of my seat half the time. Having to stop after a single race because I was too anxious to run the Arima Kinen after just barely winning the previous race. Good times>was still very obvious.for what it's worth, I think if parents love their kids, I don't think the preferences themselves really mean they love one more than other if that makes sense. Really hard to quantify love in general I feel.> I'm sorry to hear that.doesn't bother me as much for my sake, but my brother. Who I feel never did grow up much and still lives with them. Basically the punching bag since he has no job, no girlfriend, and doesn't do anything with his life. Rather than try to direct him, they just make fun of him and call him names. Pisses me off. >I'm usually able to get by by looking like a lost childfor me it's to act funny and care free. Office jester type deal. No enemies that way, but it works pretty well since I've seen even big shot upper managers who definitely climbed to their place using that lowly funny guy routine. >>83799775>riprest in pizza usa> same goes for stuffed animalsthose are even worse sense to be bigger. Glad i'm no going for those>i hope i can become really good at it one dayhow i feel with my games. But dang is it really hard on the hardest difficulties for these games. Even hard gave me a tough time for some
>>83799996>rest in pizza usai wanna rest in pizza>those are even worse sense to be bigger. Glad i'm no going for thoselol, you can cuddle them though ^^>how i feel with my games. But dang is it really hard on the hardest difficulties for these games. Even hard gave me a tough time for somei knoww, the hardest gd levels are just crazy, i wanan get there someday
no matter how good the day is i'll probably feel bad at night i guessit was a good day thoughi think some already answered but how was your day everyone?
>>83799798>likely permanenI'm sorry to hear that how were you able to do your job with it?>believed that memeoofyeah unfortunately it's an empty cope>provide proof i get threatenedfuck them>mindsets that enabled me to pass high schoowhat sort of mindset is that?>struggling coping with thisand honestly I don't know what you could do about it >bad in the eyes of other companiesyep ig because that means you have enough independence to stand up for yourself, and they hate that>mentally like im on vacationI don't think that's possible, maybe at forst but usually most meds just make your numb and empty it's probably by design, but that's just my hypothesis, because if they made you feel good then you'd get addicted the same way people get addicted to other kinds of drugs>>83799935helloat least weekends here >happy tomorrow is saturday. I'm so exhausted:< like I said above companies abusing their power makes me violent >relevant for my experiences todaybtw who chooses your work hours or how much do you have to get done? is that just like some guy?>>83800095hey meowster !
>>83800205>how was your day everyone?My days been alright, I've dropped into a bad circadian rhythm though, i keep waking up super late, hru?>>83800294>hey meowster !hiyaa cat!!! ^^ hru? how was your day?
>>83799798>night shift security guardhonestly a night guard mall security sounds like a fun job, I think I'd enjoy it a lot but unfortunately people think it's okay for some jobs to be paid so little it's impossible for the person to live off of itisn't it strange?you do work but that work which often is more exhausting that higher paid one somehow doesn't deserve to get paid enough so you can just go home and rest and not worry about your survivalwhy should a human work a job that can't sustain them>>83800205*hug* >probably feel bad at night I feel it can be good in a way but I'm wierdI just personally feel like being sad make me view things with a more realistic lense like me judgment is more true>how was your day everyone?pretty chill played game, ate a sweet bun, life's good :]though it also sorta annoys me a little but idk if you'd wanna talk about it
>>83800373heya heya :D>hru? how was your day? almost finished sh3 and played some minecraft and cs1.6 been a pretty good day
>>83800373ooh and wbuu??
>>83800095>i wanna rest in pizzaI'd rather rest in lasagna, but i'm growing fonder of pizza each month. Went years without it, now I get on usually every month and man it's satisfying>you can cuddle them thoughcan't do that with figures I suppose :(>>83800205hey rm, you doing all right? Take it easy. Night will be over soon enough. Don't let things get you too down> how was your day everyone?working sucked. Glad it's over>>83800294>at least weekends hereyup! Got any plans? I'm gonna go out tomorrow for hot pot since I didn't get it previously. I'm planning to do some volunteer work on Sunday.>companies abusing their power sadly, they literally all do it.>how much do you have to get done?not really one person, but a bunch of people in the middle managing priorities and worker allotment. Objectives and unreasonable milestones put pressure on managers, who then feel the need to pressure lower managers, who then pressure me. I never blame anyone I interact with personally for shit, whole entire structure is shit because people who've never even seen your face
>>83800095> the hardest gd levels are just crazy, i wanan get there somedayforgot to reply to this part, but I spent 2 hours yesterday trying clear a song on project diva. Literally almost through the controller I was so happy when I go past it.
hey everyone i kinda goofed and forgot to post here. hope you're all doing well, i've just been watching a lot of youtube as always, this time just a bunch of challenge runs in various games. pretty interesting stuff haha, anything to keep me from playing dawn of war i suppose, still don't really understand the combat very well in that game but ig its fine. would love to just talk with someone rn
>>83800386>almost finished sh3silent hill? I wanted to play those after finishing the Resident Evil games.>some minecraft and cs1.6did ya have fun? Survival mc i assume?>ooh and wbuu??My days been good except for me being a night owl and missing a lot of school work, been taking better care of myself atleast, only a little though.>>83800410>I'd rather rest in lasagnaI've never really had lasagna, i think i tried it once and didn't like it>can't do that with figures I suppose :(i guess but, you can always have both ^^>forgot to reply to this part, but I spent 2 hours yesterday trying clear a song on project diva. Literally almost through the controller I was so happy when I go past it.lol yeah, good job!!! I've been spending the last week trying to beat the same level in gd, will hoepfully beat it within a month
>>83800455>hey everyone i kinda goofed and forgot to post here.hopefully having fun ^^>been watching a lot of youtube as alwayswhat are your fav channels? or genres>this time just a bunch of challenge runs in various games.they're pretty entertaining, I like watching people try to get a lot of achievements in like, one run.>anything to keep me from playing dawn of war i supposeis DoW fun?>still don't really understand the combat very well in that gameyeah it seems pretty complicated, you like the game?
>>83800410>Got any plans? maybe I'll take the bus to the city center and walk around there >planning to do some volunteer work on Sunday.what kind? like what cause?>they literally all do it.I wanna tie em up by their feet to a ceiling and play on their teeth with a stick like a xylophone >unreasonable milestoneit's obvious whyif you reach it then it mean they're good at their job if you don't then it means you're bad at yours (obviously not btw)>>83800455eyoare you enjoying your days?>>83800459>silent hill?yep>wanted to play >Resident Evilthe originals? or remake?>Survival mc i assume?I had fun, I played actually just minecraft classic, so the very old version >missing a lot of school work, been that's okay >taking better care of myself atleastgood job!how do you take better care of urself?
>>83800378yea i read online that warehouse security at night is like free money. you can dick around nonstop with just a few rounds to do. but if you do hospital or armed you get paid more but you're not allowed to do anything but stare at the cameras or sit there. fuck that. im considering automating a data entry job so i could make two incomes. but im not sure if it's possible. and at that point AI could swoop in and take that job whenever. would be nice tho. have a laptop on the side ticking away while i sit in solitude playing my steam deck alone in some big warehouse. id do it in a heartbeat if i could actually pass financially. im genuinely sick of normies. im considering any job if i can surive off the income and it involves not interacting with people. >why should a human work a job that can't sustain themi agree wholeheartedly. if the world is going to treat me like trash and inhumanly let me at least survive while being at the bottom. instead i have to sit at work and let women going through menopause who never mentally grew up bully and insult me to the point of feeling suicidal and if i stand up for myself or disagree they use their mental and social gymnastics to make it somehwo my fault. if i ask them not to talk to me that way my boss tells me "its important that you're conscious of your communication so that we all vibe as a team and our dynamics fit" and fucking cuck shit like that. if hear the words "i encourage you" one more time im gonna encourage myself to fucking drink
>>83800565>yepthey seem cool>the originals? or remake?the remakes i guess, im just on re2 remake right now>I had fun, I played actually just minecraft classic, so the very old versionthat version seem fun, in a nostalgic and calm way>that's okaythanks :]>good job! how do you take better care of urself?ig by drinking more water, sleeping better stuff like that
>>83800603>warehouse securitygon reply to the rest in a sec but I specifically said mall because walking around a dark empty mall sounds so cool
>>83800294>how were you able to do your job with it?corporate america is a joke. you have 15 minutes of actual work. and that work gets scrapped or never used too. so it just took me like an hour instead. all my coworkers admitted to having nothing to do. when we did have work i would get punished no matter how i did it. and when we didnt have work i would still get punished because of some corporate communication or politics like outshining someone that didnt know what they were talking about without meaning to. or "disrespecting" a superior because they've coasted all these years and i knew how to improve things and my suggestions indirectly called them out for not doing their job right or as good as they should be>yeah unfortunately it's an empty copeyea ive been realizing that. i think a lot of my self harm stemmed from fear of getting in trouble which with normies in corporate america could really mean whatever they mentally bend to make bullshit sense so it's always possible. and i think i also had to accept that i wasnt enough mentally due to being a sperg and it was too much to handle. >what sort of mindset is that?keeping mouth shut and let myself be walked on and treated like trash while i did all the work in group projects and shit like that. if i ever disagreed or stood up that person and everyone in their pocket or wanted to gain clout or whatever the fuck with them would kick me while i was down. fucking teachers would get involved if the person was an athlete i was trying to set a boundary with. shit like that. eventually we'd get called to the office, that person would skate because they're an athlete and their dad is a teacher, then my parents would get called, then my dad would beat me and so eventually i just gave up. i just stopped trying. i just did my work and almost killed myself multiple times and would restabilize and repeat.
>>83800294continuing from this post >>83800756>and honestly I don't know what you could do about itthe only thing that kept me going was knowing i was gonna be successful in the adult world and now that i realize that's all bullshit and being successful means being miserable i dont really have a reason to keep goingretirement is a scam. im not working 40 years for 10 years back. and thats a big if with the economy. even if i focus on retiring early its like 5 fucking years at best. fuck that. >>bad in the eyes of other companiesto sum it up college is like casual mode in a video game and corporate is like ranked. its super toxic, no one takes accountability, and you're stuck doing it 40 hours for 40 years. everything you do or say gets documented so the company can hold it against you whenever they need to. and breaks are punished. even if you do everything right and never fuck up, companies can fire you at any time. why should i keep going?
>>83799734I'll reply tomorrow ^^, sorry anon but I'm not in the best state to properly reply.>>83799753>a very private personyeah same kinda>>83799935>not enough to do here when hmm i think all the people that prefer summer say that winter locks up peopleand i understand that reason and i think it makes sense but i just don't care about it alot >software developmentdo you like it?
>>83800717i think those are chill too. anything with something serious going on like a hospital don't do those have strict regulations. i know im reiterating but just want to be sure. i hope it's great for you anon
>>83800378>hugthanks cat>but I'm wierdnot really i thinki think this can be useful sometimesbut im different in that case, it makes me feel so bad>pretty chilla calm day you had it seems>sorta annoys me a little but idk if you'd wanna talk about itwdym? what is annoying you? and why would i mind :?>>83800410>you doing all right?not really, i feel worse currently really really worsefeeling a bit like my soul is caged, didnt have that feeling for a while>working suckedi hear you mate.. it's finally weekend..you got any plans?>>83800373>bad circadian rhythmhappens fixing it might take a while>hru?not a bad day, but not feeling very good
>>83800685>seem coolthey are I reccomend them :]though I'm playing the old ones idk how the remakes are>re2 remake right nowhow r u enjoying it?>in a nostalgic and calm wayyep yep just mess around and make little houses :3>thanks :]np!>drinking more water, sleeping bettergood that's important, if you don't get that it might ruin everything else so good job!I keep forgetting to drink water >>83800870>hope it's great for you anonthnak you I'm well sorta, ig depends how you look at itbut rn I'm very sleepyare you going to be here tomorrow? we could talk more then
gn frens>>83800919>what is annoying you?it's like I'm content most of the time but it's really like I'm sedated my head is just full of tv static and I don't really feel excited by anything and it's hard to think, but you know it's okay most of the time anyways ur cool and I hope you have a nice rest of your day
>>83800455hi chev>challenge runs in various games.what games?>>83800459>Resident Evil games.never played the remakes and know the old are really old and hard to get into, but the first game which is most commonly available as the gamecube era remake of the ps1 game is pretty good and has aged decently I'd say. I love the mansion though> ttried it once and didn't like itit's quite different from other dishes. I like a good meat sauce lasagna mainly>can always have both I do in fact have a single plushie of Teto maybe need a daki pillow like discanon mentioned>will hoepfully beat it within a monthquite the determination! wish you luck, but have fun too. Losing isn't the best, but hope it's at least fun still>>83800565>bus to the city center and walk around theresounds fun. What's it like there?>what kind?One of those centers for homeless/lower income people. My understanding is I'll be unloading heavy boxes, helping setting up, and possibly handing things out. Think it depends on how many people are. It's a cold day so not sure how many come to help since still snow and ice everywhere.>obviously not btwit is in fact how they act honestly. Why I don't care much for success when the reward is the same as the punishment in the end.
>>83800940yea sleep well anon
>>83800859>but i just don't care about it alotthat's fair. Not everyone does. Matters more to people who prefer to spend a lot of time outdoors like I tend to want to do.>do you like it?it pays decent and i can do it decent, but i struggle to say I do. Parts I like, but doing it for a living kinda sucks, but might just be working at a corp in general>>83800919> i feel worse currently:/ i'm sorry to hear that. Anything you want to try to talk about? Or just need more time?>you got any plans?usually weekend schedule, going out to eat, and going to do some volunteer work I signed up for. That's about it.
>>83800966dude.. next time just say the thing ofc i dont mind lol ^_^that really sounds tough to me maybe because i don't feel sedated, are you used to it? also do you know the reason behind it?>hard to thinki really don't like thati hope it doesn't bother you all the time
>>83800966and gn cat, see you tomorrow
How can I get the motivation to slit my throat and be over with this nightmare? I should have killed myself when I was able to purchase a gun.
>>83800499>hopefully having fun ^^yeah somewhat haha.>or genresa lot, mainly just music, game exploiting and just general tomfoolery lately.>is DoW fun?i think so, but it's very difficult to understand for me.>you like the game?well i like 40k so i like the setting and vibe, but the gamplay as i said is kinda hard to grasp sometimes.>>83800565>are you enjoying your days?sometimes, hbu tho>>83800974>what games?minecraft mainly, but also a bit of dark souls and xcom
B-bitches dig scars, right?I don't and never have cut myself, I punished/found mechanisms for control myself in others ways. I have seen how dr's/nurses treat people with the scars though even if they haven't cut in many years, they're very judgemental sometimes to the point of crulety. Way to go doc, they wanna cut themselves again now.
>>83801002>lot of time outdoorsyeah>working at a corp in generalyeah maybe sometimes but at least you don't "hate" it yk>want to try to talk about?idk man, today felt so nostalgic and i missed my friend even morefelt like hurting myself again>going out to eatso are the streets better for driving now?
>>83801046but hey docs, how about you send some psychiatrist?...
>>83801032Objectively speaking, even if you have the motivation to do that, you probably wouldn't have the physical ability to do that without stopping. That's a very painful experience and most people attempting to would stop almost right away. Also you risk giving yourself a very visible cut most people would see right away after and even if you're determined there's a strong chance of failure.Sorry things are so bad anon. If you want to talk people hear would be happy to listen to you.>>83801036I always trying to do non-lethal playthroughs in any game that would let me.>>83801046>B-bitches dig scars, right?I don't this it true unless you meet certain other characteristics>>83801060>i missed my friend even moreI figured as much and I get it. I really get it I'm feeling very off lately about someone I miss too lately, but you have to try not to let it consume how you feel too much.>felt like hurting myself againjust do your best not to do this. I know it's hard, but you shouldn't hurt yourself more over your friend. I know it's not easy but just try to focus on literally anything else other than that> streets better for driving now?I had to get my car out, but main streets are all fine. Just side streets kinda messed up still
>>83801139Here they will force you to see one before checking out of a clinic attached to a hospital. if under you're 18, they'll heavily insist you see one when you're older. The doctors have contempt for weakness.
>>83794774>What makes you feel like you have to?im ugly>>83794781i am but thank you friend, I'm genuinely bottom of humanity tho. and yea i kinda stopped caring about my throat and everything I've accepted it's messed up beyond repair probably so no point fixing it now :3>>83796562>what do you feel is wrong with how you eat?i always end up binge eating horribly, then i always say I won't eat diner or breakfast or snacks or whatever but i always do so then i either feel horrible, cut or puke>>83799291it really is a lot. i hate it
>>83789556>>83789556Just tried multiswiping I don't think I understand it exactly. Why is this difficult
>>83796446>wassup?Nothing much. I got selected for some seasonal government job, 25.90 CDN an hour. Runs through june-july. There's a second stage of selection still, but it's very likely I'll get the job. Happy about it.>>83796684>can't imagine finding work without a carIt's a big limiter on what's viable, can't take any work thats longer than an hour half by bus.>It's only typically impersonal since most PhD's want zero to do with studentsMakes sense.>good luckThanks.>>83799753>I hope that's not something you've heard...It could've been worse, I'm over it now.>>83801046>B-bitches dig scars, right?It depends.>>83800966>my head is just full of tv static and I don't really feel excited by anything and it's hard to thinkI had this for about a year and a half, spanning the end of HS into the next year. It's the worst since everyday you're just hoping to wake up with the static gone. No matter how you occupy yourself it remains, draining the little enjoyment you still experience. Breaking out of it feels impossible, with anything that should wake you up being dulled in a melancholic haze. Even still it's definitely doable to break out of it, just need some big change or experience to get the ball rolling. At least that's how it was for me.>>83800974Hair drill hands remind me of wammu's divine sandstorm, cute.
and a last bump before bed
My tummy is making some weird and concerning noises...I hope everyone's doing alright.>>83799935Sorry to hear that. Hopefully tomorrow will be easier.>>83799996>biggest memory was how slow I used to take career modeThat's how I played it as well the first few days. I got really invested in it.>I don't think the preferences themselves really mean they love one more than other if that makes senseI think I get what you mean. I think they more or less still raised me well.>for me it's to act funny and care freeI will try this when I no longer look like a child.>>83800455>i've just been watching a lot of youtube as alwaysThat's mostly how I spend my days as well. It's a bad habit.>>83801032What's got you down, anon?>>83802217>I'm over it nowThat's good. I know my sister was bummed out about being an accident for a while but I think she's over it too.
what is this discord chat lmao, get a fuckin roooom
>>83801636 I did used to have an eating disorder myself... so have experience with this sort of thing>always end up binge eating horriblydo you feel you are strict most of the time then fall into binge eating?>say I won't eat diner or breakfast honestly, eating regular, healthy meals is probably the best thing you can do. Make you less likely to binge eat and easier to convince your brain this is okay, normal, and something you should be doing>>83802217> thats longer than an hour half by bus.suppose it's a good thing you have that to rely on. So much here is spread around outside of bus lines that the limited public transportation we do have is quite limited in value for that. >Makes sense.I have a lot of gripes with big universities, but honestly never felt this one was that bad in my personal experience as much as kids complain about it>wammu's strange that I've never watched or read any Jojo's media and still somehow that's my first thought that's what that was from lol>>83803345> making some weird and concerning noises.hope you're all right not getting sick. Lot of stomach viruses going around time of year> Hopefully tomorrow will be easierno work for main job, but have an important call soon that I'm hoping doesn't spiral into shit> I got really invested in it.Seeing them lose is heartbreaking still to this day. Watching Vodka pass Daiwa Scarlet right near the end always felt like a punch to the gut>I will try this when I no longer look like a child.honestly, hope you don't end up having to do so to the degree I've felt the need. Office politics suck
hellooo everyoneee happyy caturdayy B3
>>83804355happy caturday cat! enjoy your time if you're heading into the city like you mentioned!
>>83804649hello o/I'm on da bus rn :]how are you?
>>83804662I am good, about to head out into the cold though! Will chat with everyone again in a bit
starting to think most of the abandonment i suffered was imagined and i self isolated myself out of pure delusion. i guess its better to realize late than never
it snowing and I'm stuck in.>>83799980>ooh ok so pretty recentlyYeah, i think this new avatar was worth it though.Theres a floating merchant ship and you don't even remember it after three ours. The Coronel literally gets in bed with a fire na'vi who mind rapes people and does weird space drugs.
a small post before replying to old ones>>83804355yo cathow's your caturday going?>>83804785hru officeanon?>coldin the cold? where are you going?
hey everyone, was busy today cus i was in the netherlands with my friends, we drove wrong and it took 2 hours more. now finally home, probably gonna buy tarkov since it seems cool.
I'm backsaw this silly shirt :3>>83804785>head out into the cold thoughDD: it was pretty cold here today too>chat with everyone again in a bitsee ya !>>83804828>guess its better to realize late than neverit sounds frustrating but it's better to know about it, maybe you'll learn something from it and next time you feel like that you should question it>>83805536hello>snowing and I'm stuck in.noo D;>mind rapes people and does weird space drugs.lol>>83805752heya >how's your caturday going?went to the city center and now I'm back :>wbu?>>83805951hello >netherlands with my friends,sounds fundid you enjoy yourself?>probably gonna buy tarkov since it seems cool.it's very competitive
>>83799734i'm sorry for you anon.for the gaps, can't you explain them in the resume? like maybe explain the gap by saying "medical recovery"? and if you're not gonna try a new company at the same level of the previous one, can't you cope with the low salary in small ones?and also, did you have all the medical tests you needed to get into the last diagnosis? if so, isn't there a cure?>>83801150>but you have to try not to let it consume how you feel too much.you're right. hope you're doing better now>on literally anything else other than thati slept at the end>Just side streets kinda messed up stilli seeis it still like that today?>>83801241>The doctors have contempt for weakness.contempt? to me it seems like they do that because they want to get someone cured. now idk how things work there anyways>>83805951hey chevso you're still in netherlands rn? do you have a house there or smthn?>>83806057>went to the city center and now I'm backmhm seems like you got the shirt from there :D>wbu?i went on a walk again and it was goodthough i have to study but i'm a bit lazy
>>83806076>shirt from there :D i didn't buy it though too big for me :<but I found some other stuff that fit >i went on a walk again and it was goodaw I'm glad to hear this ^^ did you see any cats this time?>though i have to study :< best of luck on them quizzes!on what days do you have them btw?
>>83806076>contempt? to me it seems like they do that because they want to get someone cured. now idk how things work there anywaysI took someone to the ER because they had something seriosly wrong happen (I can't remember what exactly but they were sick and in pain) the nurses did basically everything to help with the doctor prescribing some antibiotics and pain killers. They took a blood sample at the end and the dr saw thier scars (which were pretty bad looking but cleary healed, it had been at least a year since they cut last) and he got super pissy asking about them multiple times which was freaking my friend out. It was unprofessional. I have seen the same treatment from other dr's to them.
>>83804828That was part my experience in a way. I grew up isolated, which in turn made me imagine people being harsher to me than reality, especially women>>83805536>I'm stuck in.that sucks, I finally forced my way out. Street still isn't great>>83805752hey rm, how's it going?>in the cold? where are you going?i went out to get hot pot. Had to walk around in cold a bit. Very unpleasant out>>83806076> hope you're doing better nowi'm fine. enjoying the weekend>is it still like that today?honestly even the main street is less cleared than i would have expected>>83806057>I'm backhow was it?>saw this silly shirt lol nice >it was pretty cold here today tooit's still very far below zero here and blocks ice and piles of snow everywhere. Really sucks
>>83806161>too big for meoh D:>but I found some other stuff that fitnice!>did you see any cats this time?no that's strange >best of luck on them quizzes!thanks!>on what days do you have them btw?two of them on sundayone on mondayanother one on tuesdaythe last one on wednesdayoh yeah what a cool schedule>I have seen the same treatment from other dr's to them.ahathat doesn't sound lovely really, i'd get pissed if i saw it happening to someone infront of mei hate it when doctors do annoying things to patients
>>83806255>i'm fineglad to hear that!>honestly even the main street is less cleared than i would have expectedwhat a storm
>>83806255>how was it?okay but now I have blisters on my feet because the shoes I tool werent worn in >far below zero herehow much?>Really sucksI'm sure it'll melt sooner or later then summer will come but it might be super hot then >>83806308>oh D::<>nooh, that's okay >that's strangewhy?>oh yeah what a cool schedule@_@
>>83803345>It's a bad habit.true, but i suppose there's worse things to do. >>83806057>did you enjoy yourself?yeah it was okay, we mainly just went to pick something up lol. >it's very competitivei realized, i played one match and died instantly lol, atleast managed to kill like 4 enemies before going down.>>83806076>so you're still in netherlands rn? nah, we just went there to pick something up, it took a lot longer than expected cus we drove wrong.
>>83806354>glad to hear that!thanks! How are you doing though?>what a stormone of the worst I've seen in years, that's for sure.>>83806709>the shoes I tool werent worn inI hate that! happens for me often wearing dress shoes. Don't wear them often, times I do usually involves lots of walking so get really messed up>how much?it was like 5 F earlier, which is like -15 C....>but it might be super hot thenwouldn't mind that at all right now>>83805951missed this earlier, but hi chev>drove wrong and it took 2 hours moreit happens. Worst for me is usually caused by setting map directions wrong and making the route significantly longer than it needs to be
>>83807086>mainly just went to pick something up lol.what did u get?>played one match and died instantlyhehe I feel that's how it usually goes>>83807115>for me often wearing dress shoessorry to hear that x_x it sucksss>which is like -15 C....yeah that's pretty close >wouldn't mind that at all rightI wonder if you'll say the same in summer ^^
>>83807796>closecold*
eep timegoodnight guys
>>83806709>why?cuz i usually see at least one i think>>83807086>went there to pick something upaha i thought you were on a tour>>83807115>one of the worst I've seen in yearsthat makes me think does that happen in canada too? or perhaps the storms there aren't as bad although it's very cold?>How are you doingidk honestlynot so bad not so good
page 6 already.. we might wake up to the thread archivednow i don't see that a lot latelymore people were active here lately
I've been thinking about cutting myself again lately
>>83808803why? something's been getting on your nerves?
>>83789556Hey man, life has been going good, I finally found a reason to live and i am not sucidal anymore. this thread helped me a lot when i was at my lowest. I wish to thank you all. I finally love myself again. although for some reason, I did cut myself again today, I am not carrying any sorrow or misery anymore so i am unsure why i did that. maybe because i was bored and blades were nearby or maybe i wanted to get some adrenaline to complete my work faster(or wanting to feel awake) or maybe just an addiction to this point idk the reason but it didn't feel bad(I dont really feel pain from doing it anymore), I suppose they were just surface level cuts,nothing too deep. anyways life has been going good and i wish to thank you all! you guys are the best! <3
hi everyone. having another rough day :( at least i managed to cry about it. been seriously considering buying antidepressants from grey market>>83799441>kill the doubt, start believing that something has happenedthats a good idea. even if nothing happened to me at all (which is unlikely) i still suffer from the effects of trauma, and no amount of doubting myself will help me heal from that. that did help :) >discordoh yea whats urs? i dont use it very much but mine is grapheneme>>83799753thanks! i hope today picks up>mint/mentholit sorta worked i teared up a bit but i managed to start crying eventually today yay>>83799935>favorite dish or even cuisinei like making asian food a lot especially chinese food. i love cantonese steamed fish i wanna make it again its so yummy. >could it be from struggles forming connections?i think it could be, and possibly that i am not in the best headspace to be there at all for others. it sucks, especially when i have friends who 'should' be close to me and i think care about me and miss me but im unable to feel anything towards them>put your own feelings firstyeah ive been doing that more lately, its really difficult to >anyone listens to you like you'd listen to them? or be open if you tried to speak about this?kind of? ive told this to one friend he doesnt mind. and ive opened up a bit to people before but it hasnt really helped, now idk if theres that many people who would listen. its kind of my fault because ive been isolating myself and becoming distant to others>>83799980thanks :) the nap sorta helped. still hard to think and make coherent sentences but i am trying. and i had fun!>woa you have a piano?yep ive been playing for like 7-8ish years now. before that i played violin, i was forced to lol. i want to do grade 7 or 8 exams soon and i hope to achieve a piano diploma one day. havent been practicing much lately unfortunately. i really wanna learn other instruments as well, like oboe or clarinet
>>83808852very happy for u anon! good job <3and its ok to relapse, it just happens sometimes lol
>>83808836life just sucks right now, I can't get a job, I really want to move out of my parents house but I just can't get a job, the job I had I got laid off after a month, I'm also really lonely and to make things worse I started smoking
a lil bump b4 replying
>>83803848>strange that I've never watched or read any Jojo's media and still somehow that's my first thoughtNot that strange honestly, JoJos was massive online from 2012-2019ish with the anime airing and it's fans spamming everywhere. I do like it, but it's been years since I've read it. Heard part 7 was good I ought to read it>limited public transportation we do have is quite limited in valueI've heard Americans complain endlessly about it, but it can't really be that much worse than Canada, right?>never felt this one was that bad in my personal experienceCould just be here then.>>83808852>Hey man, life has been going good, I finally found a reason to live and i am not sucidal anymore. this thread helped me a lot when i was at my lowest. I wish to thank you allReally great anon, it's always nice to hear people coming back to the thread in a better place. Here's to hoping you keep at it. What reason did you find to live if it isn't too personal?>>83809053With so much of your suffering being tied up with not being able to get work, it's really a piss off with how out of your hands it really is. There's small comfort in knowing when you do get one, it'll help you to move out and start doing way better for yourself.>>83805951Hallo che, visiting Holland seems super fun. I love stroopwaffel and hakken and ongzellig and hardcore and molly, really is the place to party.>>83806057>shirtRigby!!!!! He's one of my favorite cats on insta, him and meimei and oye and baobao are so photogenic
>>83806076i can try to explain the gaps but they see through that bullshit most of the times. i can try i just really struggle to see a reason to keep going if im making fuck all for 40 years and then i get 10 years back when im old and decrepit. especially given its 40 hours. like if it was shorter then id be okay. but to give the majority of your waking time and days away its just not worth it.so id rather just get a job where im paid to do nothing like security and game in silence in the night. i dont think there's a cure for brain damage or autism so im not sure what you mean by the last question im sorry>>83800940hello friend i hope you are well i look forward to your reply>>83800859you too friend i hope you are ok
Bump by the number
umwmm ewt is it supose to get redder wnd gooeriy was yellow,, and dry yesterday what hapened
Hi everyone. Hope you're all doing alright today.I feel a little out of it but it's not too bad.>>83803848>hope you're all right not getting sickI don't think it's that. Just me eating garbage...>have an important call soon that I'm hoping doesn't spiral into shitHere's hoping that will go or went okay!>Seeing them lose is heartbreaking still to this dayYeah... I need to go down to the track one day and some real horses. I'm sure it's just as fun. Maybe even join the jockey club if I can get a decent paying job once I'm done you know, if I had 27 grand lying around for the entry fee.>Office politics suckI was an RA for a bit and got to experience some of it. It was pretty funny watching people fight over me.>>83805951How is the Netherlands? I applied for two jobs there but didn't get either. I wonder how my life would be if I got them.>>83807086>i suppose there's worse things to do.Compared to drinking myself to death or mainlining heroin it's pretty mild.>>83808852Glad to hear that anon. Maybe it was just force of habit?>>83808908>been seriously considering buying antidepressants from grey marketI would not recommend this, or getting an actual prescription for that matter, unless it's an absolute last resort.>i managed to start crying eventually today yayGlad to hear. Well, as glad as you can be for that.
good morning everyone!wassupp wassup?>>83809993hello>rigby!cute!>>83810227Heya anon how are you today?>>83811149helo>was yellowthat's normal but if it starts to hurt and smell bad and or you get inflammation that usually means infectionI recommend putting some antibiotic ointment on it and keeping it covered >>83811272heyocool pic hope your days go well and your mood doesn't get bad any plans for today?
I crashed out hard last night. Had a little much to drink after dinner. Made some quite good goulash however.>>83807796>it sucksssdon't do it so often it's that bad. Honestly wish I had an excuse to wear them more since associate that feeling with being at events>yeah that's pretty closeit's windy today too so all the worse> wonder if you'll say the same in summenah, I handle heat well. It's the cold I can't stand>>83808337>makes me think does that happen in canada tooi'm sure it does and probably much worse though we do have a canadian poster in the thread who can probably answer better the thing is when it snows bad relative to how much it usually snows an area. Right now the south of the US is getting tons of snow and I don't think they handle it well at all since it's so rare there>idk honestlyhope you feel more sure today and things overall good>>83808661it's hard sometimes on weekends. I think if cat goes out for a long day thread can slow. Also I think Yuanon missing the thread can slow things down as well. Thread is still way more active than any point in the past>>83808852hi anon, glad you hear.>I did cut myself again today, probably an addiction like you said. I'd try to quit now since it sounds like you have a good mindset overall, shouldn't be too tricky just need to keep yourself away from anything you can cut yourself with>>83808908>considering buying antidepressants from grey marketdon't think that's a good idea anon. Those can have a lot of negative effects even with a doctor guiding their use, really shouldn't take those without. Plenty of other alternatives worth trying before going that far
>>83808908>especially chinese food. nice, are you chinese ancestry or just like the food from some other source? Only ask since I feel Chinese food is always one I'm surprised to hear people bring up as a favorite unless they were exposed to it somewhere. I quite like it as well, though my exposure to Cantonese cuisine is quite limited I must say. More exposed to Sichuan since that's the super popular one all over and quite like spicy food.>its really difficult toi think this may be the part to overcome. I think if you neglect yourself for too long, it can build up a sense of resentment, even it's not explicit and more subconscious. I don't think it's bad or your bad, but it's hard to care about others if you feel your own needs have been unfairly neglected too long> been isolating myself and becoming distant to otherswould say try to avoid doing this more and make some effort to undo if you can. Doesn't have to be crazy, I think you're in a position where you may need to force yourself even if you don't 100% feel like it.>>83809053sorry to hear that anon. Economy is rough everywhere these days, so don't be too harsh on yourself. Know it still sucks, but at least you can lean on your parents a little. Just focus on what you can. You'll find something eventually, but it's better to be looking with a place to stay than not having somewhere to call home
>>83809993>it's fans spamming everywhereit's also odd that while I did watch and usually find that behavior annoying, I feel like I could appreciate how different JoJo is stylistically enough that I could appreciate it being out there even though I didn't watch it myself. I think it helped I though JoJo spammers could actually be amusing>can't really be that much worse than CanadaThey are probably pretty similar for most of the country, though big cities like Toronto and Vancouver might be much better than a lot of cities here with no metro/train system. Honestly, my city has an okay bus line and next city over has probably one of the best subway systems in the country second to NYC. The biggest complaint huge chunks of US population are living and working in areas completely outside any network since a lot of people don't want to live in our cities and even companies avoid working in urban areas sometimes if the crime is too bad. Crime, homelessness, mental illness, and other issues factor in. People don't want to take the bus since they feel unsafe on it here even if it would get them where they want to go.>>83811272>I feel a little out of it but it's not too bad.hope things stay all right. you up to anything or same old?>Just me eating garbagethat'll do it. Though even changing your eating pattern will mess you up sometimes. I ate and drank way too much yesterday and feel groggy this morning> went okay!I got yelled on the phone for half an hour afterwards, but that's down half an hour from last time! So I consider that progress!>I need to go down to the track one day and some real horses.I am lucky that I live in a part of the US that has lots of horse racing. I've been to quite a few races even before this. Shoot, a month before I got into Umamusume I was watching races when I was down at the track they have the Kentucky Derby. I didn't even know horse racing was a thing in Japan lol It's quite fun, even if you don't gamble
>>83811272>you know, if I had 27 grand lying aroundpoor people problems. Seriously though, horse racing is kind of sad since you have very rich people there watching, but then also gambling addicts hang around trying to bet every penny they have in hopes of winning big> funny watching people fight over mewhat happened with that?>>83811387morning cat! will not be doing volunteer work today since have an emergency thing I need to do come up around the time, but maybe next week
I think I have another toothache after walking in the freezing wind yesterday when I was getting back :c >>83811717>will not be doing volunteer work today since have an emergencow hope it nothing very serious :< >but maybe next weekjust remember it's just an obligation, okay ao don't feel bad if you can't
>>83811875> another toothachesorry to hear that. Did you not cover up warmly enough? I feel certain amounts of cold only so much you can do. Teeth are quite sensitive to these conditions. Probably try to take it easy today. Hope you feel better> hope it nothing very serious urgent project work needs to be done. Having a quick call in a bit>don't feel bad if you can'tI mean, I wasn't obligated to and no one could fault me, but feel a little bad. Sure there's plenty of people to help still, but a lot of people who are in a bad spot and no one cares about them enough. Why I tried to do volunteer for that sort of thing in the first place
>>83811937>Did you not cover up warmly my face was not covered >Teeth are quite sensitiveI'll try to go to a dentist about it and we'll see maybe all I'll need is some antibiotics >urgent project work needs to be donebest of luuckk :c >Having a quick call in a bittell us if it went well >but feel a little badyou'll go there next wedk dw!
>>83812387>my face was not coveredthat'll do it. If it's too bad you need a scarf or something minimum>I'll try to go to a dentistgood idea. As I always bring up, tooth health id connected very tightly to your overall health in well being>best of luuckk got done the bulk of what was needed so i'm in a good position now>tell us if it went welland no more trouble with this>you'll go there next wedk barring any additional trouble, but will try to block out the time
>>83808852it's nice to see a happy anoni hope you find even more happiness and get even better>>83808908>rough daywhat happened?>antidepressantssorry i don't remember much, were you the one that talked to a therapist but found no good?and also don't get such drugs without a doctor anon..>no amount of doubting myself will help me from thatexactly, it might even make you feel worse>that did helpvery glad to hear that>i dont use it very muchneither do ii even said im not gonna use it for a year but i think i might open it from time to time>whats ursuhh i dont wanna share it here but if you found a user with blue-ish pfp and a strange username then that's probably me>>83810227>securityokay soo is there any possible way to get such job? sadly i dont know much about jobs there >brain damage or autismwait i thought you meant that time you hit your head i thought that's what caused the brain damagedid i get it wrong?>i hope you are okthanks anon i hope you get better too>>83811387hey cat hru >>83811584hey officeanon hru>canadian posteridk who's that so i won't know the answer until i search on google (who knows when this will happen?)>I don't think they handle it wellare people going to their jobs there?>more sure today and things overall goodthanks! hope you too>cat goes out for a long day thread can slow >yuanon missing the thread can slow thingsyeah true ig
im sick of thisi dont wanna suffer like this anymore, i cant stop itit's as if my soul is melting and rotting
>>83812612>too bad you need a scarfyeausually I just tough the cold out>good ideaill call them tomorrow >got done the bulk of what was neededgood work!!>no more troublewoo \o/>barring any additional troublI'd say there's a pretty loe change of this happening again >>83812640heyaa>hruI'm good but I have a toothache :c I'm just going to say at home and game today how are you? >>83812904>soul is melting and rottingsorry to hear that fren
>>83812640hey rm! I'm good, how are you? Tried to go visit family, but the road wasn't clear near them so couldn't>who knows when this will happen?i too often refuse to look up easy to answer questions arbitrarily and opt to question instead xD>people going to their jobs there?I think they're trying to, but I heard the issue is the snow is so solid and turned to block of ice that it's actually causing plows to break down trying to clear it. Just too hard> hope you toono complaints. Got a little done and read some manga. Just annoyed I wasted half an hour>>83812904sorry you're still feeling this way and nothing seems to help... Assuming this is your friend again... Can you imagine a situation you wouldn't feel like this? Just things returning to normal
>>83813115>usually I just tough the cold outcan be unwise. Maybe it's not as bad as here, but i went to pump gas now and felt like i was going to lose my fingers...>ill call them tomorrowI need to make a dentist appt as well so I'm going to try to do the same>I'd say there's a pretty loe change of this happening againit is a recurring problem for me I suppose... How's your day going btw?
sorry guys im not in mood to talk about other things right now, maybe tomorrow>>83813115 hey cat i hope you get better did you visit a doctor>how are you?talking about it in the bottom of the post>>83813135>friendnot really.but my whole situationi dont wanna see anyone but im forced toand i feel like im acting like two different peopleand my brain changes between these two so quickly and harmfullyi get very excited and passionate then before i could accomplish and fix anything i could get depressed and lose the ability to feel normalthen i just be looking at myself rotting without improving at alland everything is related to thiseven my friend's thingim genuinely scared of the next time my mood changes, it's as if i'm losing some part of me when i feel "happier"i want to stay at this mindset i feel like my brain works wrongly when im not sad like thatif only i wouldn't lose a lot if i destroyed my life and kept myself in my room or anything like thatwhenever i be talking to classmates or "socializing" i feel like im not being myself i keep thinking about everything and i hate on myself and replies i feel like im faking everythingi get hurt so easily to the point i could lose all my desire to do anything for a whilei dont wanna do this anymore im so sick of it. no one is rescuing me irl and im so tired of fighting it alonei wish i could just leave everything behind without losing the ability to feel pleasedsevere mood swings are destroying meagain i feel like my soul is stuck in this weak body and weak lungs that can't breathe well
>>83813149>going to lose my fingers...uffwere you wearing gloves>need to make a dentist apptyep good idea>is a recurring problemoh :/more likely your companys problem I'd say>How's your day going btw?toothache isn't too badI been playing games and trying to figure out minecraft stuff so we can play together
>>83813455>im not in mood to talk about otherthat's okay, don't feel bad for it ^^ >hope you get better did you visit a doctorcan't visit one yet, I'll call a dentist up tomorrow >talking about it in the bottomokbut if you don't wanna talk now about that stuff, do you wanna talk about something else?
>>83813486>don't feel bad about itthank you>I'll call a dentist up tomorrowgood luck catdoes it hurt a lot?>something else?not really. i talked about how i feel and it's the only thing my brain can think about clearly right now
>>83811387>hope your days go well and your mood doesn't get badThank you. I managed not to get too sad today. I hope it's over now.>any plans for today?I was supposed to work but I just kind of slacked off and collected a parcel from a locker in the evening. Also I bought more crap off Taobao for the office.Tomorrow for sure.>>83811692>you up to anything or same old?Nothing much today. Just passing time.> feel groggy this morningThat sucks. I hope it's not been too bad today.>I got yelled on the phone for half an hour afterwardsI had one dressing down at work (for something that wasn't even my fault) and I never want to go through that again.>I've been to quite a few races even before thisWould you recommend it? I think they do races every week here.>also gambling addicts hang around trying to bet every penny they have in hopes of winning bigIt's kind of messed up, really. But people will gamble no matter what, so you may as well make sure it's somewhat regulated. There's a cool story about a guy who became a multimillionaire by doing regression analysis on it though. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4B0mGYZqElo>what happened with that?More senior people wanted me to proof a report for a government organisation while the lady I shared an office with wanted me to do something for her pet project. When I raised that they emailed her almost immediately to say I wasn't helping her.>>83812904Sorry to hear you're going through the wringer. Please try to hang in there.I can definitely relate to feeling like I'm faking stuff when interacting with others, if that's any consolation.
>>83813455>not in mood to talk about other things right now,no problem with that. Want to talk about whatever is bothering you anyway>dont wanna see anyone but im forced tois it truly that, or you feel you don't want to be around the people around you now? Think there's a distinction there between the two>myself rotting without improving at allwhat makes you feel you're rotting? You are studying still, aren't you? That's improvement and direction. Even if a lot of things are not ideal, a little progress is progress still>, it's as if i'm losing some part of me when i feel "happier"I think it's easy to associate certain attitudes with who we are, but isn't the case and it's dangerous to think that way since you associate being unhappy as median point like this>replies i feel like im faking everythingthe thing is, if you answer how you feel, are you really faking anything? I think it's actually near impossible to fake being someone else (unless we deliberately lie or act) since it really doesn't make sense. You are you type of thing, if you feel a certain way or think responding a certain way is how you should, there's nothing wrong with that.>no one is rescuing me irlthis is an interesting thing to say since it made me think, if someone would come to help, what do you think they would do given everything you're feeling? Curious what you think
>>83813470>were you wearing glovesnot when pumping gas. I don't want to risk anything that could cause static discharge so when it doubt tough it out>more likely your companyswell, this is related to something I work on outside of that. So really is my problem in that case lol>toothache isn't too badglad to hear>figure out minecraft stuff so we can play togetheroh that would be fun. Been years since I touched it. Never played much with other people so would be cool since always interested in how multiplayer worlds worked.>>83813654>hope it's not been too bad today.took the briefest of naps and bounced back pretty fine>I had oneI don't think I ever had anything like that at a full time position I worked. My side job it's a quite common occurrence mainly because the person I'm working with is quite honestly one of the meanest people I've ever known, but coincidentally also one of the people I'm closest to at the same time. Just challenging at times...>Would you recommend it? yeah, it's a unique experience if you've never gone to one before. It's quite exciting if you get into it (don't need to bet again either in my opinion)>But people will gamble no matter whatyeah pretty much. It makes absurd amounts of money too in terms of tax revenue which I've heard some positive things come out of>a cool storythat is pretty neat. Rarely hear of people winning big money on horse racing. Actually probably one of the few forms of gambling you can use strategy and not get blacklisted from doing it>wanted me to do something for her pet project.yeah, you see stuff like that and in my experience sometimes it's confusing what to do. That case it seems clear cut, but then if for some reason she ends up in some position higher up, would be better have to listened. That's why I hate trying to figure out who will be around who's going to be gone 3 months out
>>83813513>thank youur welcome!>good luck catthank you>does it hurt a lot?it's manageable and now ot barely hurts so maybe it's getting better >talked about how i feel and it's the only thing my brain can think about clearlyso maybe you'd like to watch or play something instead?hang in there fren I'm crossing my fingers for u :< >>83813654>managed not to get too sad todayaw that's great feeling like you're getting better >supposed to work but I just kind of slacked offrelatable :3>bought more crap off Taobaowhat did you buy?anything funky?>>83814114>don't want to risk anything that could cause static discharge I wonder how likely that is>work on outside of that. oohwell hope you get a lot of money for it then>oh that would be fundo u have minecraft?
>>83814616>I wonder how likely that isnot sure. Also not sure it's worth risking either. Catching on fire is up there as one of the most horrifying ways to die I don't think it's worth any risks>well hope you get a lot of money for it thenme too. Or at least some good times out of it soon>do u have minecraft?yeah. Played it years ago on my pc. Had to sign not long back to keep the account at least think I did
>>83814870>don't think it's worth any risksagreed>at least some good times out of it soonyep you deserve it!>at least think I didwell if it doesn't work I can help you out
I'll be going to sleepgoodnight my friends, see you tomorrow and love ya allyou are cool
hello everyone. hope you're all doing well. went out with friends and wrote stuff on cigarette filters before smoking them. i understand why cults do rituals now, those two things aren't too dissimilar. symbolic acts that feel cool. didn't cut this weekend. small victories.
not aeep yet>>83816296hey anongood job not cutting!!>understand why cults do rituals nownot just cults, I'd say celebrations like fireworks on new years work in the same waywhat stuff did you ro with a year friend? you had fun?
>>83815565>well if it doesn't work I can help you outthink I just need to install it, will let you know. Actually perfect game to try getting into again if others are playing>>83815887bye cat>>83816331hi cat lolI might crash soon. Long week ahead of me starting early tomorrow>>83816296glad to hear anon, glad to hearhope you had a nice time out with your friends
just a ily bumb
>>83817034anotha one b4 I reply
i'm almost 30, why do i do this to myself. if i've spent every day for 2 weeks debating whether i should go to the e.r. or not, that means i probably should huh. i've been cutting nearly every day and want to go deeper but i don't really wanna kill myself
Finally able to go gym this monday, fixed up my sleep schedule and the snow is all cleared. Also gonna see Marty Supreme in theaters, next week is looking nice.>>83816296Unless gambit was in advantage (boosted, fighting coverage, gren was chipped) it was gonna lose this fight anyway tbdesu>ritualsEveryones got at least one, cutting my chest up to steel myself for the future is mine.>>83811692>I feel like I could appreciate how different JoJo is stylistically enough that I could appreciate it being out thereNothing else out there that really looks like Arakis style, yeah. Picrel is my favorite out the series, their design ability wise and lookswise are really fun.>>83813455>get very excited and passionate then before i could accomplish and fix anything i could get depressed and lose the ability to feel normalMood swings are rhe worst rm I feel for you. Makes you feel like a slave to your own emotion and makes everything else in your life sounds unpredictable. Since being in a good mood is so inconsistent, the best strategy can be remembering the times you were in control to return back to being stable. Writing messages for yourself when you're in a good mood to guide yourself in a bad mood helps a lot. Hoping you ride it out better next time.
and after so long since october 21st it has happened that i did it againi have naught else to say
last ride home
morninnnjust woke up bump
>>83789556Hello Anon, Im doing fine, can barely sleep even though I took some Atarax, plan to actually go to school after a month (probably will get sanctioned by truancy)The last time I cut was December 15th, I cut out of pressure, I was really paranoid, could hear voices, some were random, some were from my paternal grandmother, always telling me to go just a bit deeper, I only thankfully reached baby beans before getting hospitalized, Im now currently going anti-psychotics and anti-depressants (Symbyax), which I get a refill tomorrow and well, thanks for listening :)
>>83817919hi anon! I'm actually 31, so no shame in being older and struggling with things. >whether i should go to the e.r. or notER is both scary and expensive If you're from the states I suppose so understand. Do you have a bad wound you want to get seen? if so is it bleeding or bad still? Or are you more concerned about hurting yourself worse? I think there's different best course of action depending on what's going onTake care, wish you the best>>83818062hey togata! Forgot to mention how much I enjoy the Fujiomoto "bio" excerpts in Firepunch>Finally able to go gym this mondayhave a good time! Even doing mine in home gym, have felt pressed for time some days with how chaotic work has been> snow is all cleared. that's nice! It's still not all melted here, some major streets are one lane of traffic, and a lot my neighbors still have cars stuck. I believe we're just not equipped to handle it here. >Nothing else out there that really looks like Arakis stylepointing out the obvious as well, in a sea of manga/anime that emphasize cute girls, focusing a story more on men and their design is quite different and bold, saying again as someone with little engagement in the series other than seeing it come up>>83818533hi anon, no shame in that. Take care>>83819439morning cat, have a good day! I'm in for a busy one, but not necessarily bad>>83819476hey there anon>plan to actually go to schoolbest of luck with that. Probably not the best experience in the world, but hope it goes well>now currently going anti-psychotics and anti-depressantshope that's helping. Your situation sound quite scary and concerning. Fact you're getting treatment is very good sign in the first place, so make sure to keep up with it!
Also didn't notice but it's actually Groundhog Day today. Have to post groundhogs at least once
I'm not sure if I should count earlier as just being really sad or having a breakdown. I guess it was, even if it was pretty mild before I passed out...Oh well. Progress is never linear.>>83814114>took the briefest of naps and bounced back pretty fineNaps are always good for that.>Just challenging at times...I see. Ever thought about quitting?>It's quite exciting if you get into it (don't need to bet again either in my opinion)I see. I'll try to go down there once I'm done with work.>Actually probably one of the few forms of gambling you can use strategy and not get blacklisted from doing itGenerally I think anything where you don't play against the house and they take a cut from the pot is fine. Poker is like that too.>if for some reason she ends up in some position higher up, would be better have to listenedThat's true. Fortunately it was only a part-time thing for me before I moved but I could definitely see that being a problem later down the line.>>83814616>feeling like you're getting betterMay have spoke too soon there...>what did you buy?Some keyboard switches and a bootleg Osaka plush.
>cut myself>only cut myself to manipulate discord ewhoresam i heckin valid here?
hey guysreplying later>>83821140no
>>83817919hello ano >go to the e.r.it could help but if you tell them you hurt yourself you migtbe sent to a ward, do you think you could hand that?>>83818062hello>fixed up my sleep schedulegood job (^^)b>>83818062>Marty Supremewhat that?>>83818533relapses are normal anonI think you're still doing a good joband if you keep it up relapses will happen less and less with time ^^>>83819476heya>can barely sleep evensounds awful >plan to actually go to school after a monthto like a college? best of luck anonwhy do you wanna go through btw?>Im now currently going anti-psychotics and anti-depressantsphewthat voices thing sounds scary, glad you're getting helphow did you get hospitalized?>thanks for listening :)np ^^>>83820151eyo>in for a busy one, but not necessarily badDD;hopefully it's mostly the good kind>>83820409wowI didn't know >>83820679hello o/>even if it was pretty mild before I passed out...sorry to hear this >Oh well. Progress is never linear.yep bad things usually never leave without showing up again every once in a while >keyboard switches and a bootleg Osaka plush.cool and cute >>83821140don't do that anon>>83821224heya o/
Good workout. I saw a girl in what I thought was a vocaloid shirt, but it was instead demon slayer. The coloring could be mistaken for Miku/Teto/Neru standing next to each other.>>83821239Thanks. What's up /cat/?>what that?A movie about ping pong thats apparently not really about ping pong. I heard it's pretty good, and it'll be my first time in a movie theater so that's cool.>>83820151Hallo officeanon, yeah the little excerpts are funny I love them. Picrel.>I believe we're just not equipped to handle it here.You think you would be, not like it started snowing for the first time this year...>have a good time!I did. Struck up a conversation with a muay thai fighter at the gym, and got some pointers about good martial arts dojos. Looking to learn judo, seems fun and practical.>focusing a story more on men and their design is quite differentMaybe obvious but I haven't thought of it until you brought it up. There's maybe 1-2 girls tops in each most parts, with parts 4 and 6 being the only exceptions.>>83820679>Osaka plush.Lemme see
>>83820679hi discanon>Progress is never linear.It isn't so don't feel too hard on yourself. The truth is, you've come a long way from having this nearly everyday and that itself counts for something even if you still have your moments>Ever thought about quitting?Yes, but on one hand it may benefit me long run to do so and I do care about my friend, even if she can be an ass. > I'll try to go down there tell me how you like the experience if you go. Trying to get over sometime myself soon if they're clear for winter races>think anything where you don't play against the houseExactly. That is a significant number of casino games with the exception of poker being the obvious one serious gamblers who make money play. I like the feel of casinos, don't entertain the delusion of being able to win big>could definitely see that being a problem later down the line.it's the absolute worst with corporate jobs. I hate it, but not a lot of alternative ways to make money consistently>>83821239>hopefully it's mostly the good kindso far so good. How's your day?>I didn't knowhe saw his shadow though, so 6 more weeks of winter :<
>>83821351>Good workout.glad to hear! I had a good one today with no interruptions so can't ask for more>what I thought was a vocaloid shirtI would just always assume not at this point unless I'm at the arcade rhythm games (oddly see mostly girls playing these lately). May just be hear I find it rare to see people wearing stuff like that> demon slayer.Actually watched the movie finally and enjoyed it. A series my opinion has shifted around quite a bit on to the point settled on "I enjoy it" even if it's not my favorite>Picrellol>You think you would beThings are just dated I feel with little maintenance. I posted earlier, but I heard plows were actually breaking because the wear and tear caused by how hard the blocks of ice we have here. This is actually the worst storm I recall in a decade >. Struck up a conversationone thing I miss about being at a real gym is being able to do this since even the one I went to early morning people were pretty cool> Looking to learn judohope you find one that works for you. Trying to get into some more physical sport type hobby as well but on the fence about what>but I haven't thought of it probably the perspective of someone who never watched/read it. All I know is those designs are different, nothing about what the plot even is. Arguably, think a lot of people who would never watch it just because the overtly flamboyant and over the top masculine designs are too much for some get past on first impression>1-2 girls tops in each most partsKaiji is similar in this sense as well, and I appreciate it. There's women on screen like all of 10 seconds. Think it's both refreshing but also can really fit the tone of the story, especially with Kaiji being a plot about men at the bottom of society with no way out their problems
There's a very loud, bassy sound coming from outside. I have no idea what it is, especially after midnight.>>83821239>bad things usually never leave without showing up again every once in a whileYeah. Hopefully it's not going to become a regular thing again.>cool and cuteVery!>>83821351>Lemme seeBless her little bootleg heart.>>83821602>you've come a long way from having this nearly everyday and that itself counts for something even if you still have your momentsThat's true. That it wasn't as bad is probably a good thing as well.>it may benefit me long run to do so and I do care about my friend, even if she can be an assThat's fair enough. I guess just make sure it isn't more trouble than its worth.>tell me how you like the experience if you goWill do. I'll try to take some pictures.>it's the absolute worst with corporate jobsIt's pretty bad in academia but corporate is probably much worse.
>>83789556>How are you doing today?I'm okay, didn't do much today, got a bit of my schoolwork in order though so that's nice.>Any plans for today?I've mostly just played games today whilst waiting for this fever to disappear, managed to beat some demons in gd so that was fun.
>>83821351>Good workoutgood job!>What's up /cat/?just chilling and playing game >pong thats apparently not really about ping pongtell me if it's any goodhonestly it doesn't sound like something for me>>83821602>far so good. that's great >How's your day?just relaxing, I just sorta zoned out and let the day go>so 6 more weeks of winter :<maybe he's blind so it doesn't matter >>83821687>There's a very loud, bassy sound comingmight be construction like scraping asphalt somewhere far away >Hopefully it's not going to become a regular thing again.I'll be hopin with you >Very!oo it looks so coolthat made me want to get one hehe>>83822422elloo c:>schoolworkgood work I know it's hard to motivate yourself to do that crap >for this fever to disappear,is it strong?
bumping b4 I reply
>>83822509>good job!Thanks, I didn't lose in the time I was gone so I'll start overloading on Friday.>just chilling and playing gameCalm. I was playing super metroid yesterday after I managed to get my laptop working again by using a television as my monitor. The peripherals are super fucked, it has a USB keyboard since the built-in one has half the keys broken, and a USB mouse since the touchpad is broken. It's a glorified computer case at this point. What game you playing btw>tell me if it's any goodWill do.>>83821687>Bless her little bootleg heart.She's awesome I want one>>83821667>on the fence about whatOutside martial arts there are team sports, and that's about all I can think of. I used to play basketball and that was fun, but it's probably more difficult finding people to run games with as an adult. Maybe at a rec center? I dunno.>early morning people were pretty coolPretty true, the later the gym is open the worse people get I find. Trying to use it after 6PM is impossible and the people start getting annoying.>I enjoy itI like the shirtless pig guy but don't care for it much>Kaiji is similar in this sense as well, and I appreciate it. There's women on screen like all of 10 seconds.Definitely the next anime I'll watch, but before that I wanna see YuYu Hakusho.>had a good one today with no interruptionsGood good
I'm such a moron. Got scammed out of 1000 pound today, called the bank and they said it's doubtful I can get it back
I'm going to sleep goodnite frens>>83823713>so I'll start overloading on Friday.just watch out for your arm >It's a glorified computermy brother used to do something like that many years ago>What game you playing btwI played some insurgency but wasn't feeling it desubtw do u hav minecraft ?>>83823741hello mr meow how did that happene?sounds frustrating :< sending hugs!
>>83821687> bassy sound coming from outside.a normal occurrence here, though doubt it is there..>That it wasn't as bad is probably a good thing as well.for sure. Truth be told, I have moments things from years ago bother a little, but no where near as much as they did then. It's normal for things to not go away, so shouldn't see as a huge setback>make sure it isn't more trouble than its worth.I think at the very least, it can be interesting to me and has led to some good experiences. As much as I complain about my friend, I don't think she's also been very considerate of me in ways other people weren't>l try to take some pictures.nice and have fun of course>It's pretty bad in academia heard enough horror of people get stuck there for years getting exploited. I wouldn't want to be there dealing with that>>83822422>waiting for this fever oh no, you sick? Hope it goes away soon>>83822509>that's greatbit rougher later on, but I got through>just sorta zoned out and let the day goat least sounds a bit relaxing in a way>maybe he's blind so it doesn't matterhe's the most important groundhog in the world, there's no disputing him! D:
>>83823792>how did that happenMy mum said my sister urgently needed me to pay one of her bills cause she lost access to her online banking, and that she'd repay me asap. So I sent the money to the account my mum told me to. Only when my mum texted my sister did I realise she wasn't texring my sister but a scammer.
>>83823834oh so it's not really you who got scammed but your mom, you just trusted ur mom :cyou should have a talk with your mom to be more sceptical Is that going to mess up like you getting food or paying rent?
>>83823713>that's about all I can think of.i might try to do one of those indoor rock climbing places. That's something I wanted to do a while. Not sure about a team sport, but know people do have adult leagues of those>after 6PM is impossible and the people start getting annoying.I would work late in a starbucks sometimes across from a gym and agree with what you're saying. Gets packed full of people you can just a look at and know> don't care for it muchNor do I very much, but I find the story at least serviceable, clear cut good vs evil refreshing when everything tries to avoid that, and I like Ufotable since I am a big fan of the Fate series>YuYu Hakusho.Never saw this one despite being told by many it's the superior version of Bleach. I'm honestly watching Lain right now just because I wanted to see how bizarre it is and like the 90s early 2000 tech vibe>>83823741shit that's awful sorry. You're bank is right in terms of when it comes to money out, very little can be done
>>83823931No I can still pay my bills, just 1000 is still a lot to me
>>83823801>>83823801>sounds a bit relaxing in a wayig but the day flew by>most important groundhog in the world, there's no disputing him! D:I will muehehe B3>>83823968I'm sorry fren :cit is a lot of money but at least it's nothing that'll completely mess u up
>>83824035Sorry for keeping you awake cat. Sleep well!
hey everyone who's still up. I've been playing a shit ton of tarkov for the time being, but I keep dying ahaha. hope you're all doing well however.
>>83824056oh no worries ^^I'm not forcing myself to stay up just to reply and thank you!you have a good night or day too>>83824069hello^^glad you don't mind losing it happens a lot in that game
>>83824124>glad you don't mind losing oh no don't misunderstand me i was really damn frustrated, but luckily my friend helped me get a new kit quite easily. I'm trying my best not to mind losing stuff but it did really make me upset the other day, cus I lost an ak-12 i really liked.
>>83823792>btw do you have Minecraft?No, but I could buy it if you wanna run something.>just watch out for your armI'm all good now there actually, it's healed over 99% of the way. Appreciate the concern.>>83823954>indoor rock climbingMy friend invited me out for it before and it's pretty cool, have fun if you decide to go.>watching Lain right now just because I wanted to see how bizarre it is and like the 90s early 2000 tech vibeI tried watching it when I was younger and fell asleep, wasn't for me. I have a ton of yoshitoshi abe art saved though, and I've got both the original and remixed soundtracks saved to my phone. Habnae Remnei clicked more with me.>clear cut good vs evilI never really got "morally grey" characters, my thoughts on their morals always end up black and white. Even if I change my opinion down the line, they're still either good or evil to me.>>83824069Hallo che, listen to anything cool lately? I've been bumping this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8D9KXwdylY
>>83824204hey togata, how ya doing?>listen to anything cool lately? haven't really been listening to metal a lot lately, but I have found something good lately.https://youtu.be/ubwkwoUjVoE?si=8PtbmRT-rir-ubfi&t=850
>>83824256also tacking this on, got this from mu, it was pretty popular there back thenhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40kKYDbAYhc&list=RD40kKYDbAYhc&start_radio=1&pp=ygURa2FldnVtIGdveWltYmxvb2SgBwE%3D
>>83824256Pretty good. I'm going to a movie theater tommorow, I'll have it all to myself.>TrackNot really my thing desu>>83824256This is good, I'll download the album for later.
last bump home
>>83822422Hopefully your fever clears up soon. Being sick sucks.>>83822509>might be constructionI thought that, but at 2am?>I'll be hopin with youThank you!>>83822509>>83823713>that made me want to get one hehe>She's awesome I want oneI tried to find one for sale somewhere else, but I think it's a little independent shop on Taobao making them. I could probably mail one to you if you wanted but it might take a while.>>83823741That sucks. But sometimes if you complain hard (and soon) enough they can recover it.Might be worth a stab if you have the time to keep badgering the fraud department.>>83823801>It's normal for things to not go away, so shouldn't see as a huge setbackThat's true. I'm feeling pretty alright today. And she sent a short message last night and I managed not to spiral out of control.>it can be interesting to me and has led to some good experiencesAs long as it's a net benefit you may as well keep doing it.>people get stuck there for years getting exploitedIt depends on the country but in Burgerland until you get tenured it's horrible. After you get it, it's easy street. Surprising nobody, it's become increasingly hard to get.
good morning bumpkjiiijhggguollhgu
>>83826799I called the fraud department a few minutes after it happened
hello everyone how's it going?I got some clothes I ordered today >>83826799very cool image !>>83826799>could probably mail one to you if you wanted but it might take a while.no thanks, I feel it'll be a lot of trouble maybe I'll find one on our version of taboo but I appreciate the thought ^^>>83827749hope it all goes well>>83824204>but I could buyno there's no need to buy >:3 but me and meowster nd yuanon are going to play minecraft together some time like maybe this or next week and maybe you (or anyone else who's reading this) would like to joinif you don't have mc I can give you guys one B3>>83824157>. I'm trying my best not to mind losing stuff but it did really make me upsetwell it's a game where you will die no matter what, sooner or later so I reccomene to practice not caring >>83827749hope it goes well :< !!
>>83821239>to like a college? best of luck anonwhy do you wanna go through btw?no, im currently a junior in high school, but i will probably repeat the year from the constant absences.>phew that voices thing sounds scary, glad you're getting help how did you get hospitalized?i had sort of a psychotic break, and tried to perform a trepanation on myself, fortunately i was taken by my stepfather and he drove me to childrens hospital.
At tha gym, easy morning. Listening to bladee https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi9erA5IE3s>>83824937Meant to ping >>83824296 the second time lol. Listened to the their album Natur, really good black metal. In segments it even turns to grind which was pretty cool.>>83826799>I could probably mail one to you if you wanted but it might take a while.If a P.O box isn't stupid expensive it would be a good idea tbdesu, I'll look into it>Spoilerwhy don't you have them blocked...>>83828062>how's it going?Good, how's it going for you?>I got some clothes I ordered todaySwag>if you don't have mc I can give you guys one B3Sounds cool I'd be down for it, long as it isn't some super new version it should run fine on my laptop.
just a bump gon relply in a bit
Today was pretty good. I dragged myself down to the office and was able to write a fair amount today. Hopefully I can get everything done sooner than later.>>83827749Hopefully it works out. I think this is one of those things where you just need to be as annoying as possible and constantly following up or nothing gets done.>>83828062>maybe I'll find one on our version of taboo but I appreciate the thought ^^Good luck finding one!>>83828456>If a P.O box isn't stupid expensive it would be a good idea tbdesu, I'll look into itThey're usually pretty affordable, but that hinges on how long you'd need to rent one for. If you get roped into having one for a year it's probably more money than it's worth.>why don't you have them blocked...Despite everything I can't bring myself to do it.
hi hope everyones doing wellor as well as they can be doingbeen thinking about relapsing for a good few months, i havent cut in around a year. ive been doing small things to scratch the itch such as hitting or scratching (pun not intended) myself but its not enough to fill that urgei feel like its only a matter of time before i relapse so its kind of a bittersweet feeling because its only a matter of timei think ill try to be slightly active here because you guys seem nice, so im giving myself a name
>>83828320>repeat the year from the constant absences.I seebest of luck anon>trepanationgood thing you didn't succeed that'd be ready bad >>83828456>At tha gymB3getting stomg >how's it going for you?okay but I wanted to return some of the clothes but the store was closed :cI will have to go to another store tomorrow >as it isn't some super new versionthat's the good part you can play any version :]and the version on the server can also be changed >>83829405>Today was pretty goodyaygood job >Good luck finding one!sata andagi !>>83829654hello o/>hope everyones doing wellI'm alright ty>been thinking about relapsing for a good few monthsgood work hold off but relapses happen so when or if it happens don't be too sad, just don't make it a habbit again, you've been clean for a year so even if you replace you'll probably be able to not cut for another year or more again, and cutting once a year is probably a lot better that the ammount of times you used to do it before stopping so again good job and don't lose motivation !!Also the feeling might not go away even after relapsing, you might just have to wait it out until it leaves
>>83822509>I know it's hard to motivate yourself to do that crapi knowww, especially when feeling like this>is it strong?it was, it's better now but I feel worse desu>>83823801>oh no, you sick? Hope it goes away soonthanks, and yeah my whole family got sick>>83823834wishing you the best, that sounds awful>>83826799>Hopefully your fever clears up soon. Being sick sucks.thankss ^^>>83828456>At tha gym, easy morning.hope you had fun :D
>>83829860>>83829860>when feeling like this:< when will you have to give them the homework?>but I feel worse desudamn I usually when feeling like this but idk if you can
Started yu yu Hakusho, surprisingly somber first episode. Really want to see it play out now.>>83829405>Despite everything I can't bring myself to do it.I don't really get it so not much to say tbdesu. In your shoes the bad blood would've been enough for me to erase contact forever, but I'm also pretty unforgiving.>>83829755>that's the good part you can play any version :]>and the version on the server can also be changedYeah I know, Java edition is awesome for that and it's lame you don't get that option on bedrock. If the version is like 1.9 or prior I should be cooling performance wise.>>83829860>hope you had fun :DI did, but I spent longer at the gym than I'd like. Normally I finish pull around 50ish minutes but I went a whole 30 minutes over an hour today.
>>83830502>version is like 1.9 or prioractually what I'm planning to do is play a couple of times and on different version :]but first I wanna know who wants to play and whendo you guys have time to play
hey wassup guys, i woke up a bit too late today. not gonna play any tarkov for now tho, not in the mood for it rn. >>83824937>I'll have it all to myself.hope you had fun, what did you watch?>This is goodyeah they're pretty cool, i should check out more from that band
>>83830758>gonna play any tarkov for nowwooot ??? :oso what r u going to do?
I'm in deep once again with some work. Will talk to everyone soon. Just probably won't be today. Have quite a mess I need to deal with, but will see everyone sometime soon. Just stopping to say hi and hope everyone is good.
I gotta drive in the snow for an interview tomorrow morning. >>83830758hi chev>i woke up a bit too late today.that alright, hope you have fun today.>>83828062hi cat>I got some clothes I ordered today alright cat sweaters.>>83806255hi officeanon>Street still isn't greatYeah, it's getting better here, but here it's going to snow again.
>>83831507noo :cstay strong >>83831574hello>interview tomorrow morningplease watch out okay >alright cat sweatersnope no cat sweaters but I have cat beanie
bumper :D
why does it hurt so much the day after and not when im actually cutting oh my god so much pain ow ow ow my leg. my skin feels raw jesus christ. i know its self harm but what the hell
>>83830758>hope you had fun, what did you watch?Just came out the theater for Marty Supreme, it's kino. The MC is a conman asshole that plays table tennis, incredibly fun to watch. I don't even want to write about the movie since you really should watch it yourself.>should check out more from that bandListen to their album Natur it's really really good, downloaded and played the whole thing last night. The production is amazing, the wind sounds like I'm being skinned by a tornado. It's an album of hate.>>83831507Hallo>>83830539>first I wanna know who wants to play and whendo you guys have time to playWhen is not for a while (still need a dedicated monitor instead of hooking up to the TV), but I'll let you know when I can get on.>>83832449>why does it hurt so much the day after and not when im actually cuttingAdrenalines gone or something I dunno
look that square white thing is thatmy tendonn i got to go deeper ig im so pathetic but good for first attempt?
I'm bumpy like the wolf
