one time i... one time... one time i put a sock under my underwear and took a picture to make a girl think i had a big dick.now it's your turn.
>>83828718i spat on my friend's prayer rug
it's not that embarrassing bro, there are guys who cut their penis off to make people think they're women
>>83828718i was at work and lifted a heavy thing and farted right in front of like three customers and pretended it didnt happen.
>>83828728seconds without thinking about trannies: 0
>>83828718One time I was in marching band we were supposed to do a lunge on one of the ending sets and apparently my pants were too tight that day and I ripped them. I asked the band director if I could get a change of pants or something, and he laughed in my face before getting one of the drum majors to show me where they kept the spares. When I came back the other band director went on the loud speaker and "congratulated" me for nothing in particular and gave me what basically amounted to a few gold stars for my section. After practice the other trombones asked what that was all about and I admitted that I had to get a change of pants halfway through practice and they all just kinda looked at me funny and moved on. I fucking hated band.
Sometimes I feed my posts to chatgpt so I get a response.. especially the paragraph length ones. Doesn't hit 1/1000 as well as real feedback from an anon but it helps
>>83828718i regularly fapped in my aunt's panties, which i had a crush on,onetime i went into her bathroom and found her daughter's panties and fapped using that, but those panties were weeks unwashed, and had skidmarks which made my penis weird, probably did some sort of infection because a lot of symptoms were similar to yeast infection, after a while my penis would start discharging weird liquid and would itch all day, lucking after daily rigorous cleaning it went away after a week or so,
>>83828896That's a good strat will copy
>>83828718girl invited me over to fuck. was rly anxious and dick didnt work, and my shit was all small and shriveled like i just got out of a cold shower. tried to eat her out but couldn't find clit so i just awkwardly put clothes back on and left lmao. this happened twice in a row and she ghosted me after. then some months later i got a text from a boner pill company saying i'd signed up for some trial online. i dont have any proof but i feel like it was her fucking with me lmao
I was born to "parents" who thought it was healthy to sexually torture, permanently disfigure, and acutely poison me as a baby
>>83828740hang yourself tranny faggot
>>83828718One night I was bored on an anonymous chat website (might have been omegle but I don't remember) and larped as a lonely not too good looking Asian girl to some 23 ish year old dude in Montana or something. We took it off the site and sexted. Somehow he believed the whole thing with fake pics and all while sending real ones of himself lol.
One time I broke the seal of Zoamelagustar and caused a magnitude 6 earthquake
>>83828718I had a homosexual experience one time when I was 16. I still think about it from time to time but I never look back on it fondly.
I want to be dominated by a girlThats it
>>83828718When I was like 11 or 12 I was too nervous to ask for the bathroom keys from the librarian at my local library so I paced back and forth near the door hoping someone else would do it and I could pee.That did not happen, I peed myself and then walked home 20-25min in the middle of the day full of pee.No this isn't fetish shit, I am not into that.Yes I have autism and anxiety.
>>83828718I filmed myself fapping and cumming all over my belly yesterday and I don't know why
one time i told an admin of this site i was waxing my pussy while listening to him talk. in middle school.
>>83830495Are you old enough to be here even?
>>83830511what admins do you know on here that talk on radio or video dog. you do the math.he did not like to hear this but perhaps that was because every other fucking staff member was also in that thread too. and it was just a very weird thing to say! "hey i'm waxing my pussy listening to you! nice voice!"
>>83830527I've been here forever and I don't know any admins. Why do people know admins? There are threads with staff members? I don't know how to even process this. I saw mods post on /b/ before but that's it. I'm not good at math anyway I have no idea what to, you've confused me. I'm leaving. >radioI'm back because what. Shortwave or. Anon. What? Are you on fucking shortwave radio niner niner got a hot to trot over read me over like anon fucking I'm not even present anymore this is too much for me
I used to go to a internet cafe to play mostly gta san andreas but also flash games too when i was a lil, for the cost they used give 1 hour of time on a pc.once i wanted to pee really bad, but leaving my pc n going home to pee would mean ill lose my time, i tried holding (^^; but couldnt so i jst started going soft on hold alil by lil, soon my jeans was soaked with pee, my chair wet asf n a lake of pee under it.(*^^*) but i got t play for my whole hour, i went home took a bath then watched cartoons (*^^*)im retarded FR
>>83828718I saw a person lying on the ground who was either dying or dead and thought they were just sleeping so I didn't call an ambulance
>>838305504chan has a lot of very interesting lore and colorful casts of characters. you should try looking it up some time. a lot of them are actual self-professed proud pedophiles.
>>83830681I'm vaguely aware of the lore but I don't care that much. I like anons; the admins and staff don't interest me much. I remember a lot of posters from way back when. Anons feel more like human beings that I could get to know if I wanted. I like to hear what anons get up, what they think, what they've done, where they've been and where they're going.
>>83828718One time I was at the hospital, the nurse made an innocuous statement about how I didn't react when she stuck a needle in my arm. I thought to myself I'm being weird by not crying like the other kids so I pretended to cry. She could tell I was fake crying and laughed, and I felt so embarrassed and genuinely cried.
i used my gaming controller to masturbate
>>83830871I did this once but it kind of sucked. You got a puss? It must be different for a puss. My cock did not appreciate it much. Still came but not fun.
>>83830704that's pretty cool. i felt the same way about the staff and other anons. i like people.
To make myself look taller in my Tinder profile I would put a stool to stand on when I took my mirror selfies.
>>83830886Yeah, I got super paranoid in case someone came over to play games so I bought spares...
>>83828718I shit my pants driving home after eating some artificial sweetener I never had before (sugar alcohols) and all I could think about is how an Indian chad would have just pulled over on the side of the road but I was a virgin pants shitter.
I've never had a friend in world of warcraft despite trying for over a decade.
>>83831278I like people in theory but I talk to them and it never feels right. I like talking to people here it's hands off and I can disappear. I wish I was better at talking privately but it rarely works for me. People are so interesting I'd like some in my life but anons are easy enough and there are so many of them.
>>83831352that was kind of why i ended up talking to staff in the first place, i would carry on convos in threads and then disappear but they could see the same user id behind all of them. it's nice to have 1 on 1 convos but some people get very demanding very early on and kind of scary about it.
>>83831378I'd be spooked out if someone could see my user id. Being anonymous makes me feel safer. People get really intense. I want to talk and learn about someone and be really casual about it but they start acting like I owe them my time or I'm failing them by having other obligations. It's bad enough as a guy it must be worse as a woman. Everyone here is lonely and unsocialized. We're not people meant for others in a way. Even if we're all different we've all got a reason in common for being here.
>>83831421i mean they can see your user id. you have a lot of metadata displayed on the admin panel, even more than it used to show. this didn't used to be a lonely and unsocialized place as much when it was 9000 and not 9001, people just kind of went nutso in a power vacuum and it caused a board cultural collapse that rippled across the site and everywhere else.i get what you mean though, you can have one convo with someone who insults you and accuses you of being fake the entire time and they will hunt down anything they think you have ever written to accuse you of abandoning them for not responding in like 5 hours. people freak me out a lot. it's nice to keep a distance. it would better if there wasn't an extremely gassy dog underneath this computer farting up a fucking storm while i type this though oh my god dude gross
>>83831441I can pretend that they can't if I don't acknowledge that they exist. Talking to them would make me have to acknowledge their existence. I live in blessed ignorance. I don't remember early r9k much. I was not well then, drugs and alcohol. I remember the people I talked to, some of them, and they were nicer than many of who I see now. More schizos then, fewer incels. I miss the past. They do, they act like an invitation to talk is a promise. I'm not good with those types. I delete accounts instead of dealing with it. I've stopped telling people much about myself. I hesitate to even say my name at times. Distance is good and safe. Gassy dogs might need distance too.
>>83828718I took 10 mg adderall XR and drank a cup of plain coffee mixed with a little half and half and later drank a 24 fl oz zero sugar monster energy. i feel unstoppable now.
>>83831317>buying spare masturbation controlskek anon get a vibrator
>>83828718I have bitch tits, destroyed my self-esteem
>>83829177>couldn't find clityou have got to be baitingI refuse to believe there is any truth to the meme
>>83828718i got a prostate exam and the doctor didn't give me anything to clean up with and i hate using public bathrooms so i had to go home with a greasey butthole thinking how my anus was violated before i even kissed a girl
>>83832233Do you ever think life is a series of humiliations we just have to bare?
>>83832247yeah, i think God only keeps me alive to humiliate me but it feels good to tell people my embarrassing stories and self deprecating myself so it evens out i guess
>>83832247>>83832297do you think god stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he has created here on earth?
>>83832427NO FUCKING WAY THAT WENT THROUGH. suck my FEMBOT COCK ROBOT9001.
>>83828718>12.>At home after school.>Both my parents worked so they'd leave me alone until 7 or 8 pm.>Heard like someone was calling me outside.>Went out to check.>The door closed behind me.>Didn't bring the keys with me.>Felt like shit.>Literally the end of the world.>Began to sob while sitting on the floor, hugging my knees while I left the TV on.>Stayed like that for almost 4 hours.>Parents came back home.>They told me to not worry about it and be more careful next time.
>>83832427Good question Steve Buscemi.I don't think God needs usWe are like ants in an ant farm
>>83831486i would love if gassy dogs would keep their distance. unfortunately gaseous substances tend not to work that way and waft their perfumed puppydog polluted air towards you no matter where you go, plus the sweet little bastards can't conceptualize spending time apart and want to be with you allthetimemommymommywhereareyougoingmommymommypleaseimhungrymommypetmemommymommymommymommy so their little scent trail trails along with you and the adorable fucktards climb into your lap and nuzzle up against you so you can't even get rid of them because omg whose a good boy whose my smart boy who do i love yes yes yes its you i love you cmon cutie pie i love you sweetness etci hope that was schizo enough to rope you into some nostalgia for a moment, robro. the incel hostile takeover in the absence of the board's natural immune system seems to never be going away but hey, we can all do our part funposting until the inevitable conclusion of our doom, ye?
>>83828718I tried vaping once. never again.
>>83828718i thought Trump wasn't part of it>inb4 shill/russian bot
>>83832444like an alien ant farm?>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogQjbW5v32Mnonny are you okay?
>>83832456Aw the poor boy he's got separation anxiety it probably makes him even gassier. Let him stay on your lap and gas you he knows not what he does he's a sinless blameless existence like the first of us before the fall from Grace when we were betrayed by the serpent and learned of Sin for the first time. Dogs are lovable little creatures even if they like smelling terrible. Give him a pat he deserves itIt was a good schizo attempt but I really miss the religious ones who made up their own little theologies. I tried too but I'm not very good at it. Schizos have such an interesting way of seeing the world. I wish the incels would go away it's so played out now but you're right we're stuck with them. They've metastasized and it's terminal. All we can do is funpost to the bitter end.
My cousin had me perform oral sex on her multiple times when I was 5-6. She was about the same age. I remember the experience as clear as day, the smell, the taste, how it looked, everything. Later on, my neighbor's daughter had me do it to her. Again, she was around the same age, around 7. These experiences likely led to me becoming hypersexual and has affected my ability to form meaningful relationships. I know for a fact that my cousin remembers it too. Whenever I see her family at reunions, I try to stay distant from her out of shame. Does her family know about it? Do they see me as a monster behind closed doors?I genuinely feel bad about everything surrounding the event. How I lost my innocence and gave myself a lifelong fucked up view on sexuality, how the event probably affects those two women to this day. How they were likely either molested or exposed to adult content to make them want to do it in the first place at that age. I see all of us as victimsMy worst fear is that one day one of them tell everyone about it even though they both were the ones who initiated it and guided me through it. I doubt society would see my sideThe only people who I've told this to are my closest friends who have revealed their own secrets and my parents
>>83828718In the last 5 months since I quit my last job I have been rejected or ghosted by 127 different jobs. Not even given a chance
>>83832565hm i wonder if i can channel some vandermeer or something here, i know a lot of crazy schizos. on tumblr of all places there this is weird overlap with trans women channers who are obsessed with lain-like aesthetics but also openly admit to fucking dogs, this crazy one i stumbled once because i thought oh ok cool art and then she kept linking these external blog posts where she was in the weirdest possible language written like genuine schizophrenia talking about how getting fucked by dogs was the worst moment of her life and something she can never undo/cleanse herself of but how it was like inevitable or something for her development as a dogfucker.maybe i shouldn't have brought that up in a reply talking about my own dogs. one is sitting on the top of the couch staring out like a gargoyle - oh here comes the garage door, excitement time!
>>83832695I knew tumblr schizos too but they weren't channers, mostly posted weird disconnected thoughts and aesthetic pictures. There was a whole ecosystem of them commenting on each others' posts and I couldn't understand any of it. It was great. That was all a long time ago, the mid 2010s I think. I've seen plenty of dogfuckers here but never anywhere else and never a schizophrenic dogfucker. What a combo. I wonder how true any of their stories are and how much is unfulfilled sexual fantasy. So strange the range of people you can find. Maybe not but after years and years of being psychically assaulted the associations become instant and unavoidable. We have all been tainted by the sin of knowledge. Careful around that door, they're very heavy and prone to falling over when they start wandering about.
>>83828718When I was a teenager my parents removed the doorknob of my bedroom because they hated when I locked the door.On a particularly horny day when my parents weren't home, I got a chair and tried fucking the hole. It wasn't pleasant.
>>83828718When I was in middle school I would piss myself in front of everyone. Not sure why I did that
>>83828718One time I shot my wad up a girl's nose
>>83828718i jerked off in public a couple times, it was pretty retarded for some reason, dont even know why i did it other than "i gotta get rid of this boner, pronto"one time was me at school, at after hoursthe other time was at a bathroom at a restaurantthats all i can remember, maybe a few times outside for the shits n giggles
>>83828718I'm almost 27 and still confused about my sexuality
>>83832216i mean i was high and it was dark but i swear her shit was hidden in some different plane of reality bro i was really searching and scouring.
>>83830550Fuck off you godless Newfag. Holy shit just leave.
>>83831783enjoy your heart attack nigger
>>83828718when I looked up the most frequent contacts on my phone it included my dentist
>>83833563I have nowhere else to go this is the only site I know
Once, I taped together three soda cans top to bottom like this _| || || |__To use as a masturbator^^ O///O
>>83833655I fully don't believe that you managed to take three soda cans ms giant pussy
>>83833683I didn't say I took all 3, you retard ^^. I only felt the first one and realised it wasn't gonna compare to him and I stopped.
>>83833694I don't believe you even took one. None of that makes sense.
I stole a used sock from a girl I had a crush on so I could sniff it while I jerk off
I put a ladybug on my cock tip with a drop of water and it bit me. Made me hornier.
>>83833698I didn't say i took a full one, you retard. I just felt a little of the can but like I said, it wasn't going to compare so I stopped.
>>83833122When i worked as a dishwasher, when work was slow, i would go to a basement bathroom and jerk off using handsoap. Now im a delivery driver and on long stretches of road with no stops, i pull my dick out to massage it or just get some air.
My bathtub faucet started dripping a few years ago. Later, the drain got clogged so the water has nowhere to go. I started putting a bucket in to collect the water and would dump it out the window when it was full. My toilet is also clogged and doesn't flush right, so i started pissing and shitting in the water collection bucket. I still dump it out the window, onto my neighbors side of the property barrier. I noticed a discoloration on their outside basement door that i assume is from repeated piss bombs. I'm not actually embarrassed by this.
After laughing at agp jokes for years, I've realized that I actually have agp. As a 6ft+ semi-fit masculine man. It's definitely only sexual and it's nowhere near my only fetish so I'm not gonna troon out or anything like that, but it's scary to think that imagining myself as a petite girl gets me diamonds quickly. Definitely hiding that fetish away in my mind.
>>83833727When I was a young man this was many years ago I'm old now but when I was a young man. I needed to cum. I'd fapped multiple times a day. For weeks. My dick was chafing and I was developing a repetitive strain injury on my fapping arm. I was in pain but I needed to cum. This was before the internet was like it is. I couldn't look up homemade sex toys. I didn't even know it was a thing. I didn't think to use something to fuck. I took plastic wrap and a 2 liter bottle of coke. I wrapped it as well as I could. To make it less hard on my hole. I covered it in olive oil. Almost an entire bottle of it I was so horny I wasn't even thinking. I went to the bathroom and into the shower I fingered myself a while to loosen it. I pushed it in and it felt good. I pushed it further to the the part that expands the most you know it just below the lid. It didn't want to go in. I kept at it. Fucking myself with basically just the lid part while trying to work it in. I decided to sit on it and try to use the weight to force it but it didn't work well either. And the oil. Was falling off. To the shower floor. And under my feet. And. I. Slipped. My full weight was suddenly on it and the bottle was stronger than my hole. I took half of it instantly. That was not a good time. I pulled it out and my bowels evacuated. And I bled. And I hurt. And I felt open and I wasn't closing. I cleaned up. I hobbled to bed. I never told anyone. My ass is actually fucked still. I smell like shit constantly. It doesn't close fully. I leak. It's not good. It wasn't worth it. I didn't even cum.
>>83833775Damn that really sucks anon, I am sowwy. :( maybe if you were uncircumcised, you wouldn't have to resort to extreme measures of self pleasure. I hope the soda bottle was ok.
>>83833789I am uncircumcised I have 3 inches of foreskin and 2 inches of dick it's embarrassing. The soda bottle was covered in shit but otherwise unharmed. Cleaned it up and refilled it at Burger King when the staff wasn't looking. Free soda tastes the best.
>>83833799I think you're lying. I was with a Hung uncircuncised white guy before and I could stroke him all day literally and it wouldn't make his penis chafed.
>>83833817You're not doing it how I did it. I grab that little fucker and throttle it. I'm not stroking I'm killing it. I jerk so hard sometimes I think the frenulum will tear. I am not nice to my penis and it is not nice to me. It gets hard when I tell it not to. In anger I hit it I slap it I scratch it I jam it into things it does not want to be in. I hate my penis except when it cums because cumming feels good.
>>83828718A nice girl added me on discord from here once and I ended up sperging out and deleting her like 67 times. She kept adding me back but I don't think shes going to do it again. I don't know why I have so many trust issues, but I've completely fucked myself now. I never knew I was this fucking mentally ill until I started talking to her and quickly ruined it.
>>83828718When I was 13 years old I bragged about being right in an internet argument by saying my iq is 72 (without knowing what a high IQ is) and I still think about it a lot.
i have way too many embarrassing secrets. most people would've committed by now.
>>83828718i did the same thing during a sleepover when i was maybe 10, then i walked around in my underwear pretending i had a monster penis. everyone must have known but no one said anything. it hurts to think about still
>>83833730shit happens, make sure you carry hand sanitizer
>>83834027One time i got called out with a nasty comment on a forum in response to something i had predicted would happen regarding the internet becoming so entwined with everyday use. I responded saying i read their comment and would leave an updated counter argument to all their points in a day or so. Instead i just stopped using that forum entirely.As it came to be, my predictions actually did turn out to be true.(which was not a good thing)
>>83828718I tried to pay a fat black woman 90 dollars to cuddle with me and failed.
>>83833817be useful for once, show us your burnt mcdonald's patty nipples and pastrami pussy flaps, bitch
