most women have this problem, it's really not exclusive to le ugly femcel ones or whatever.
Men are shit.

>>83833334
i read this erotic manga called sasha chan to classmate otaku kun recently and it made me really ashamed to relate to the boy character called otaku because even tho i relate to his feelings about sasha, im still not as sexual or perverted as him. i think there's something wrong with me, i need to be more sexual but im too ugly to enjoy anything, can that wreck your libido? it doesnt for guys from what i can tell. i cant remember the last time i got horny. i guess i would be a bad girlfriend for that reason alone

Imagine you're ovulating. Imagine the goo collects in your prostate and you just need to get it out of your body before it overflows into your brain.

>>83833326
>ok tell me how to be okay with romantic prospect's porn use
if that is a standard for you, then don't settle and make sure you can satisfy your partner's sexual needs. if you're just going to kill your bedroom by being a starfish, then you can't really expect a man to just go around with no outlet to his urges. same goes for your needs, by the way. if you settle for a person that will watch porn, then you will resent him. that's not good.

>>83833412
>can that wreck your libido?
Yes insecurity is the worst. Self confident men and women have sex more often and reach orgasm more easily due to confidence. Porn use is symptomatic of coping for insecurity via sexual objectification.

Sexual objectification helps when emotionally insecurity is too painful. There are multiple methods, for insecurity you might look down upon others rather than seeing them as equals if you feel below others.

>>83833326
Just stop being a whiny little bitch and tell the guy you don't want him to look at other women, he's more likely to respect that than any whining

You women are so unashamed about being whores but when it comes to being decent you become timid as lambs, the stupid sex baka desu famalam

Little use I think is okay. What's better is giving him some material of yourself like nudes and maybe a few videos of you two having sex. It's what I did, and now, he doesn't look at any other porn.

>>83833326
>i really wish i were pretty enough to be a slut like every guy wants
Don't worry, you're already a slut on the inside

When I had an internet gf she would send me lewd pictures sometimes and I would just jerk off to those. So just do that I guess.

>>83833720
i'd really kill myself if my body and brain worked so disgustingly, its already bad enough! but ovulation doesnt make me feel any different, i cant tell when im ovulating. obviously the average person gets sexually frustrated or pent up without release but why does the release have to be to a different whore each time or someone youre not close to or an extremely beautiful woman etc? originally i thought it was a last resort when you dont have any girls but the only guy ive been close to does not think the same way

>>83833326
my Christian gf first hated my porn use. she was 110% convinced that It would mean I would cheat at some point.
I told her thats just the Christian brainwashing and she should chill

15yrs later she's reading some real kinky hentais and spending weeks reading werewolf smut
part of our foreplay is going down on each other and consuming porn.

it's not complicated once your dragged out of your own head by someone who loves and stays
getting that someone is the problem

>>83833326
Same way they are ok with seieng chad in your favorite shitty netflix show

>>83833412
>but im too ugly to enjoy anything, can that wreck your libido?
Can psychological issues wreck your libido? Yes you retard. It's the leading cause of male erectile dysfunction. Pressure to perform and other such things. It's not (usually) a factor of ugliness for men because they're not as obsessed with their looks as women are.
>>83833736
Also retarded. Not all, but most porn use is simply an outlet where otherwise doesn't exist.
Men with no gfs watch porn because who the fuck else are they going to fuck? Answer: no one, or prostitutes but that's even worse.
>>83833766
>but why does the release have to be to a different whore each time or someone youre not close to or an extremely beautiful woman etc?
If it was one of your close friends, you would be (much more of) a wreck. If it was someone much uglier than you, you would be a wreck (why her? wtf?!). Who would you be okay with him fapping to precisely?
Look up the rythym method to find a way to tell when you're ovulating. Not as a method of actual birth control but because little things like temperature variance is neat just to know.

Ideally you shouldn't really even know or think about your bf's porn use. He shouldn't talk about it, and even with heavy porn use if you go "hey babe want some fuckkk?" he should be like "yissssss".
What's much more likely is if he didn't fap at all,he would attempt sex with you much more often, you would say no, and it would cause a different sort of a divide + make him feel unwanted and blah blah.

For the record I don't fap to 3d porn either, find it distasteful to do w/ real people. But you have no idea what it's like to be a young guy.

>>83833731
i dont think i can satisfy anyones sexual needs, i have an intact hymen; inexperienced. and im not flexible or pretty or anything. i dont want this to be a standard of mine because i'll never find someone in my age range.
>>83833748
>>83833755
>>83833764
i did tell him and i did send body, i posted pretty ambiguously but i had been interested in him online for three years. he chose porn. i want input from guys on reasons for watching porn, reasons for compartmentalization (its just men settling in my mind) and maybe advice so that i can find an irl relationship and not be bitter. i was looking for a working analogy. also i really dont understand why guys get off on girls watching porn but girls dont get off on guys watching porn
>>83833756
yea my wish is granted just because i wished for it..

>>83833766
The first sentiment you express is maladaptive. If porn and masturbation is icky to you that is your taste and indeed you are entitled to feel that way. I am not sure that your reaction indicates the kind of resilience that is necessary to weather lifes myriad disappointments and humiliations, or extend grace to others failing to live up to an ideal.

I used to feel similarly to you about superstitious and religious people. Changing my attitude has improved my relations (although my moral scruples and dyspeptic demeanor still regularly get me into trouble).

>>83833811
>Also retarded. Not all, but most porn use is simply an outlet where otherwise doesn't exist.
>Men with no gfs watch porn because who the fuck else are they going to fuck? Answer: no one, or prostitutes but that's even worse.
It's because you're insecure and not a man but a boy. I've had nine girlfriends so far in my life. Getting laid is the easiest thing in the world. The hardest is finding a equal partner who is confident.

>>83833326
Start by realizing porn preys on a male's psyche, often subliminal messages towards them when theyre kids, oversexualization of women and the fact everyone keeps talking 'sex this sex that'.

Imagine getting addicted at something at 12 and years go without anyone telling you its bad or the repercussions because 'its taboo to talk about'

If you want him to stop youre gonna have to step up and take care of his needs, like a nicotine patch for smokers suck his dick when he needs it. Replace his addiction to porn with an addiction to you

>>83833326
Okay, sexual attraction for men and women operates in a fundamentally different way, but they both assume it operates the same.

For women, attraction and arousal are tied into several other things. There's an emotional component to it, alongside others I won't get into because I don't want to put you on the defensive, since I'm trying to help here.

For men, however, attraction exists in a vacuum. Yes, some men can and do cheat, but their arousal/attraction system is far more self-contained that that of women. Even the ones that do cheat evidence this - this is how they can go screw a mistress and still go home and be a loving father to a family, because to them it really is just attraction and there's no other emotions involved. So yes, you're very correct in that men actually do compartmentalize attraction, that's literally how their brains operate, not a conscious choice on their part. The upside of this is that it isn't always the problem you perceive it as. If your partner is looking at porn, for example, that doesn't mean they're no longer attracted to you, or that they think other women are more attractive than you. It's just arousal, and as long as it isn't taken to an extreme where it affects your sex life, then it isn't a problem.

In my opinion, shit like vtubers or streamers should be FAR more worrying to a woman than porn, because those are cases where your partner is experiencing emotional attraction rather than physical.

Also understand as a women you are hardwired to mateguard. The reason you feel the way you do is your instincts are trying to motivate you to protect your mate from being stolen by another woman. So dealing with them involves determining when there's an actual threat and when leftover tribal instincts are just compelling you to act despite no other woman actually posing a threat to you. And recognizing when those instincts are accomplishing the opposite of what they're supposed to, IE: driving a good, loyal partner away.

>>83833326
watching porn = lust is how i always viewed it. they're probably only watching it to get off really. if he cant keep it up without it, then its a problem

>>83833859
I'm not interested in serial monogamy or just getting laid. I don't want sex unless I'm with a girl I love.
>hurr durr I've had 9 gfs!
And thus nine failed relationships, gg.

>>83833841
>also i really dont understand why guys get off on girls watching porn but girls dont get off on guys watching porn
Men tend to be more visually orientated than women. This is a -well- known thing; men look at porn, women read literotica / smut novels.

>i did tell him and i did send body, i posted pretty ambiguously
What, PRECISELY, does "I posted pretty ambiguously" mean?
>but i had been interested in him online for three years.
Unless you're actually dating each other this is meaningless. This is actually a pretty significant detail, 3 years is a LONG time to be apart from someone.

>>83833841
It has nothing to do with you. Don't try to appease his lack of self-control.

And I'd advise against this LDR stuff, I think it's nonsense

>>83833841
>also i really dont understand why guys get off on girls watching porn but girls dont get off on guys watching porn
I don't know either. I don't watch porn except for those sex videos I mentioned in my post every once in awhile. I just like seeing how it looks when he penetrates and cums in me. I don't think he would care if I did, but I don't see the point, including the word porn like romance novels. I've read a few but I could not get interested at all and stopped after a few chapters. I just know men tend to be visual.

>>83833886
>I'm not interested in serial monogamy or just getting laid. I don't want sex unless I'm with a girl I love.
Tell me that after you fail ten times before you learn it was you who was wrong all along. Try be more self-centered, focus on what benefits you and helps you grow stronger and more confident. Do not use women as crutches.

>>83833886
>What, PRECISELY, does "I posted pretty ambiguously" mean?
the text in my original post is ambiguous, start thread, i didnt want to risk him seeing this but im going to sleep soon and i doubt he will before its gone. i agree its meaningless, i know

Imagine yourself alone for the rest of your life. Imagine dying this way with no reason to live. Does this make you stand up on your own stronger and strive toward achieving a better life, or does it make you wish you were dead?

If you wish you were dead, do something about it you coward.

>>83833841
>I want input on reasons for watching porn.
There's a lot.
Stress has always been a big one, as has boredom. Porn is a quick, effective, and free drug for self-soothing and stimulation.
The time I really got stuck in an addiction to it was when I started this stressful job. Anyone who's dated a woman will tell you exactly how most of them respond when their partner is in a stressful situation: THEY MAKE IT FUCKING WORSE. Every time, they just have a sense for when a man is struggling so they pick that exact moment to pile EVERYTHING they can onto him and make the whole situation much more difficult than it already is. Fuck knows why they do it but they all do. So in a stressful situation your best option is to withdraw, isolate, and limit time spent with your partner so she doesn't torch both your relationship and job all at once because she can't handle you being stressed about something. And guess what does help you calm down? Orgasm.
Another big one for me is variety, but I'm severely ADHD so this may not apply to other dudes. I get bored of the same thing over and over. I need something new every so often. And porn is far more creative than my partners in that respect. Plus it doesn't judge me. I can go online and look up fucked up nasty shit with the understanding that I just need something different for once. Trying to talk a partner into trying something new is a roll of the dice in and of itself, and trying to talk them into trying something nasty is kind of a 50/50 shot if it'll end the relationship or have other repercussions down the line.
Fuck man, sometimes I just want to see an overtly sexy costume without having to talk a partner through her insecurity and body issues and do all the emotional labour of supporting her just to get her to wear an outfit once that she's never gonna fucking wear again.

>>83833810
No reply kek